RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber. Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.
ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown. Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere. Orton gets the win.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match. I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office. Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.
WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in. Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later. Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d. R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.
3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.
AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…
BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.
RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS
We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.
WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow. He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match. Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next. Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy. He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago. He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.
“THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”- C.M. Punk
Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk. Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match. Punk and Heyman bail.
Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ. Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva. Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.
After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki. Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…
- Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
- Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
- Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
- Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.
Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John. John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.
After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive. AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off. Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone. AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.
After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus. He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE. He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship. Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face. He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…
“Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus
Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show. Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.
After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night. Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back. She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match. Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH! Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.
After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known. They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.
After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation. After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
You know, I gotta admit. This was something. For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive. I give them kudos.
After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams. Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio. Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise. This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him. After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.
Tags: Arm Bar, Breast Cancer Campaign, Cesaro, Clothesline, Cody Rhodes, Defending Champ, Glam Slam, Intents And Purposes, Kofi Kingston, Low Blow, Miz, Paul Heyman, Pin Fall, Prime Time Players, Rhodes Scholars, Rko, Santino, Shell Shock, Tag Team Champions, Wwe Title