BWF it’s your birthday! Happy birthday BWF! Yes, six years ago I started BoredWrestlingFan.com as a site for fans, by fans, and I’ve gotten to do some cool stuff over the years because of it. Not make any money, mind you, but I got to meet guys like Johnny Gargano and Gregory Iron, get threatened by the late Matt Borne, and talk yoga with Diamond Dallas Page. I’ve also been stuck doing this RAW review. Oh well, let’s go.
30 minutes home, the rest here, blah blah blah just click the link.
RAW kicks off with The Authority. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are more than happy to announce that Daniel Bryan’s doctor has not cleared him to compete for at least the rest of the month, which means that there will be no stretcher match, and your new WWE World Heavyweight Champion is once again Vacant, who will defend in a six-man ladder match at Money In The Bank, which will also include Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton among others. I’m sure we’ll see all the memes tomorrow. And another order of business, Seth Rollins adapted, so Triple H expects Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns to perish – especially when they face The Wyatt Family in six man tag team action tonight. Or maybe it’ll be a handicap match since the Shield probably can’t find a partner.
Sheamus takes on Bad News Barrett in a Money In The Bank qualifying match. And wins with the Brogue Kick, despite Barrett dominating most of the match.
The Wyatts cut a promo on The Shield and the urges of man.
Lana comes out, babbles about something, introduces Rusev, the usual crap. The jobber of the week for Rusev is Zack Ryder. Woo Woo Woo, you’re jobbing.
RybAxel are in the ring, which is in Minneapolis, which is the home of the Hennigs, which is of course where Curtis Axel comes from. Their opponents are Goldust, and Cody Rhodes’ chosen partner for him, R-Truth. Axel pins Goldust with a rollup.
Layla cuts a promo on Summer Rae and Minneapolis while getting her makeup done. And then Summer Rae pours milk on her and dumps the makeup table over.
3MB are in the house! Heath Slater says The Shield were supposed to be here to talk. 3MB doesn’t talk… Sierra. Hotel. India. Echo. Lima. Delta. Shield. The two members of The Shield head down, and 3MB aren’t running. In fact, they go after Reigns and Ambrose, and 3MB put up a good fight – but The Shield still dominate. Slater tries to escape, but he gets speared out of nowhere by Reigns. Ambrose gets the mic. He says The Shield were untouchable and will go down as one of the greatest groups ever. They beat everybody. Even Evolution. But they had a cancer inside of them, and it’s name was Seth Rollins. Everybody knows somebody like Rollins who would sell out. Ambrose is going to re-arrange the face of Rollins when he gets ahold of him. The Shield are looking forward to hearing Triple H’s words coming out of Rollins’ mouth later tonight. They’ll listen to every word, then beat the hell out of him. Reigns says Rollins committed the most unforgivable sin. He’s the scum of the earth. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t piss in the wind, and you don’t stab your brothers in the back. Reigns says that Rollins is only part of the problem – the other problems are Orton and Triple H. Reigns says Orton is the ass of this company. Then when he gets done with Orton, he’s coming for Triple H. “We’re going to have our own game of thrones – Believe that!”
The WWE Tag Team Champions the Usos are in action. Will the titles be on the line? Of course not! Their opponents are Fandango (accompanied by a very upset Layla) and a ribbon dancing Damien Sandow. Sandow does interpretive dance throughout the match, but it costs him. One Uso takes out Fandango, the other one hits the Superfly splash, and the Usos pick up another victory.
Xavier Woods (whose Power Rangers t-shirt you can get through our boys at Booker Tees) is no longer using Ernest Miller’s old music, but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t get a TV entrance anyway. His opponent is Bo Dallas. I Bo-lieve I’m going to FFW. Bo says Daniel Bryan has a lot of anger inside, and there’s only one way for Daniel to come back stronger than ever. The secret is for him to Bolieve! Bo wins with the
Acid Drop Bo Dog.
Paul Heyman puts over Brock Lesnar, who attended the University of Minnesota and feels that this is the ideal place for a WrestleMania victory party. It’s Paul’s honor to tell you that your next WWE World Heavyweight Champion wants to celebrate tonight his history making moment at WrestleMania! Paul Heyman presents to you, the winner of the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania, Cesaro! Cesaro is taking on RVD in a Money In The Bank qualifying match. Considering the rumors we’ve heard regarding Cesaro, I don’t think he’s losing this match. And indeed, he picks up the win with the Neutralizer.
Michael Cole is in the ring and welcomes Seth Rollins. Rollins is in a nice all black suit. Rollins doesn’t see what the controversy is all about. He created The Shield, and he feels he has the right to destroy it. He says that Reigns and Abrose are nothing without him. Cole says that The Shield was about three individuals coming together as one, not just one man. Rollins says we’ll find out when “the pathetic remnants of The Shield” have their last hurrah against the Wyatt Family. The Shield conquered the world. They beat Evolution in a clean sweep. Rollins learned from Evolution that to be a success in this business, you have to evolve. You have to adapt. The fans tell him he sold out. He says he bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. It took guts to do what he did last week, and everybody is fixated on the fact that he stabbed his “brothers” in the back. To Rollins, they were just business partners, and he severed a business relationship. For two years he came out and said believe in The Shield. Every night what he meant was that everybody better start believing in Seth Rollins. He’s heard Ambrose say that they’d listen to Seth say his piece and then come kick the hell out of him. Well, he’s said his piece. It doesn’t take long for Ambrose and Reigns to head to the ring. Rollins doesn’t back down – the the lights go out and Erick Rowan and Luke Harper are in the ring with the former members of The Shield. Reigns and Ambrose take out Harper and Rowan, but Bray Wyatt prevents them from getting to Rollins. The Wyatts pick the bones of The Shield until John Cena comes out to make the save. Apparently Reigns and Ambrose have their partner for tonight.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – Paige is taking on Alicia Fox in a non-title match. Except Aksana is with Fox this time. Paige wins with the PTO – Paige’s Tap Out. Aksana helps Alicia back to her feet. Alicia slaps the shit out of Aksana. Then she steals water and popcorn from fans at ringside, and dumps it all on Aksana. FWIW, the logo on the popcorn is covered up, so I think it’s safe to say the people she’s taking that stuff from are plants. She hugs Aksana and says she’s sorry before shoving popcorn down her throat.
Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are in the ring. Zeb’s sign urges us to deport Jack’s opponent, Santino. No Emma? Interesting. But not interesting enough for me to not hit FFW! Swagger wins with the gutwrench powerbomb after Colter slaps Swagger to get him motivated.
Backstage, Cody Rhodes says he’s got the perfect partner for Goldust, somebody who will magnify the magnificence of Goldust, and we’ll apparently find out who that is next week.
Stephanie McMahon is upset about John Cena getting involved in her business over the last couple of weeks. Triple H says it doesn’t matter, The Shield will end tonight. Vickie Guerrero comes in and says she’s here to celebrate the fact that there’s no more Daniel Bryan or Brad Maddoxx. Then she sneezes on the champagne. Stephanie threatens to fire her again.
Main event time! But I’m tired and don’t have 20 minutes left in me. So FFW! I skip ahead to about 2 minutes left in the show. Cena gets taken out with Sister Abigail. Reigns is all alone with the Wyatt Family, but he hits a Superman punch on Wyatt, tosses Rowan out of the ring, but catches a big boot from Harper. But Harper gets hit with a spear by Reigns moments later to give The Shield and John Cena the victory, much to the chagrin of Triple H and Seth Rollins backstage.
Thoughts: You mean RAW can end without Triple H standing over fallen opponents? That’s a thing?!? Wow! Better show than last week IMO, but still, 3 hours is far too long. Add in that I didn’t get this copy of RAW until after 2 AM and you’ve got to figure I wasn’t really up for this show. Oh well. Happy birthday BWF! And we’ll see you Sunday for BWF Radio!
Tags: Aksana, Alberto Del Rio, Big Show, BoredWrestlingFan.com, Brad Maddoxx, Brock Lesnar, BWF Radio, Cody Rhodes, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Diamond Dallas Page, Dustin Rhodes, Erick Rowan, Frankie Feathers, Goldust, Gregory Iron, Heath Slater, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Johnny Gargano, Luke Harper, Matt Borne, Michael Cole, Money In The Bank, Paul Heyman, Professional Wrestling, Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, Santino, Seth Rollins, Stephanie Mcmahon, Summer Rae, Triple H, Vickie Guerrero, Wrestlemania, wwe, Xavier Woods, Zeb Colter