Chris Bosh knows it’s hopping time!

DO IT NOW!

I wonder why I started my review off with this particular animated gif? Perhaps the answer will be on BWF Radio this Sunday. It’s the fifth anniversary of the website.

What will happen tonight on Smackdown? Who will die? Who will live? What mysteries will be solved? The answer to all questions is “plums.” And with that, set up the hurdles. On your marks, get set, HOP!

Tonight, Smackdown hails from my city of birth, the mean streets of Edmonton. A place ravaged by gang warefare between Polar Bears and Steve. You know, Steve? Everyone knows Steve. He’s a tough dude. Saw him wear shorts in July once, in three feet of snow. There’s a statue of Jericho there too, inventor of Canada. In Canada, we all hop. Do you hop? You should.

Why wear wrestling gear when going anarchist?

Can I be frank for a minute? JT is seen in my preamble holding up a sign that says, “No, your name is ‘G’, brother, dude.”

Fine. Look. On May 21st, Steve Wilhite, inventor of the GIF file format won The Life Time Achievement Webby Award on May 21 for giving the gift of the GIF to the world. He also settled the long time debate on how to pronounce the word associated with the format.

The Dude who invented it says it’s a soft “G”. Asshole’s calling me “soft”?

Or as he would nicely put it, “Choosy programmers choose ‘jif’.” So for all those whining and complaining that they have been wrong all along, deal with it. Just learn to speak properly. I can’t believe there is internet outrage over this. Un-fucking-believable.

And one more thing… There is also confusion on how to pronunciate the internet term, “Meme.”

Smarten up. It rhymes with “cream.” I have no clue why some people think it sounds like “Them,” or “B.B.“.

This is all more important than more normal preamble, actually. Hit the jump. Hopping time.

Normally I end my intro blah’s with “hopping time” or some variation of such. Nope. Not so much this week.

See, See? You killed him.

Gravity wins again. It’s falling down time smarks, hit the link below. I get progressively angrier and jaded during this review. Maybe it’s just this week, maybe it’s not. The ball is in the WWE’s court on this one…

Well, here we are again. Friday. Smackdown. Ratings are slumping for all things wrestling, as they tend to do in the summer time (Except TNA, of course, their ratings never change). Things like NHL and NBA playoffs don’t help either. But since it’s too late to watch any games, I certainly have the time to watch Smackdown. Boy, do I sound enthusiastic.

Hopping Time!

As I’m running a late today, no intro hooplah, jibbah jabbah, preambling. There shall be hopping however, and that’s your cue.

Hey! They’re in the U.K.! Also known as forced attempts to recreate the chants on RAW after WrestleMania 29 Land! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Has anyone else noticed they changed Fandango’s music and added crowd noise? I did. Let’s get to “entertainment you” of a show. Hopefully Shannon Moore makes a surprise return? Only one way to find out. So step up on that stool and strap on your noose , folks…. It’s hopping time!
Ok, it can’t be THAT bad. Nobody kill yourself, it’s just fucking wrestling. Go bitch about it on the internet like everybody else. That’s how we roll, peeps.
In all seriousness, there will be a much watch match on this show, as you probably already know.

Smackdown time… I guess.

YAY!!!

Stuff goes here. Hopping time!

On RAW, the crowd made the difference for the show to be a winner, ultimately, which I suspect and hope will remain a tradition as the so-called “hardcore” smarks stick around for it. Will that many of them stick around for Smackdown? I’d like to think so… but this “thing” is still a new “thing.” Only one way to find out, and you know what that means. Into the back of the closet and into Narnia, kiddo, we’re hunting wabbits. Hopping time! (a.k.a. Beer will make this better).

The customary hand wave after a goal is scored.