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The War On… Monday Night RAW

By Legend Killer | January 4th, 2010

Tune in at the top of the hour for live coverage of Monday Night RAW, with guest host, Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart.

We begin with a promo for Bret Hart, ending with the comments made between Vince and Shawn last week, in which ‘only good things will happen’.

Enter the Hitman… to new music. It sounds the same, but it’s got more of a rock feel to it.

“I guess Hell’s frozen over” – Bret Hart

The Hitman talks about why he has came back, and thanks the fans for still supporting him. He flashbacks to his past, and then gets right down to the nitty gritty. Bret Hart calls out Shawn Michaels.

Enter the Michaels.

Hart wants a truce between himself and HBK. Shawn decides to let rip on the Hitman, stating that he deserved what he got that night, and that he did have a part in the actions of that fateful night in Montreal. Shawn says that there are parts of him that doesn’t want to forgive him. He then goes on to say, that whenever he thinks of Bret Hart, he doesn’t think of Montreal, he thinks of Anaheim, California, and the 60-minute Iron match (his words, not mine).  Michaels agrees with Bret, that he wants to bury the hatchet.

Hart says that Michaels wasn’t the easiest man to get along with, but says that now, he doesn’t want either career to be remembered for that night. Bret offers his hand, Shawn shakes it, and the truce is made. They finish with a hug, and that moment right there, is a moment I will never forget.

However, Bret’s not done. Hart calls out… Vince McMahon!! However, Vince doesn’t show.

PREVIEW FOR TONIGHT’S SHOW

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

D-Generation X (c) vs. JeriShow – Unified Tag Team Championships

We’ll be right back.

We return to find Josh Matthews outside Vince’s office. Apparently, Vince was in a meeting and didn’t hear the Hitman call him out.

Cole and King tells us that Melina was injured in a House Show recently, and thus has been stripped of whatever title she holds. An 8-Diva tournament will be held to determine the new Champion.

TOURNAMENT MATCH#1: Maryse vs. Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella

Oh look, a divas match, watch me not care.

The Twins switched, but that didn’t help.

YOUR WINNER: Maryse

Enter the Miz… and he has music. It says he’s awesome. He says that if Maryse wins, he might just call her back. Miz disagrees with 2010 being the year of Maryse, and says it’s the year of the Miz.

MATCH #2: FATAL FOUR WAY

#1 Contender Match: United States Championship

MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. Mark Henry

Don’t get suckered in by iMPACT!. join me after the break…

We return, already in action, and we are shown that Mark Henry was taken out of the matchup for now. Swagger with a PowerSlam-type move on Carlito for a near fall. Swagger then tries for a pin on MVP for another near fall. Swagger nails Carlito in the corner, as MVP gets out of the way. Henry is back in the ring, and starts cleaning house. Carlito is used as a weapon, before being put in a Bearhug. The All-American American American American breaks up the Bearhug, but receives a Torture Rack for his troubles. They take Henry out again, and MVP nails the Playmaker on Swagger for the win.

YOUR WINNER and #1 Contender: MVP

Jericho and Show are talking backstage. If Jericho loses tonight, then he’s off RAW. But the Ayatollah of Rock-N-Rollah has a plan, and he’s off to see the Hitman, the Wonderful Hitman of RAW.

Another break.. Y’all come back now.

We return to find out, that Fozzy’s new song “Martyr No More” is the offical song of the Royal Rumble!! Yieewwww

In the Hitman’s Office, enter the Jericho. He suggests Bret be the Guest Referee for the tag title match, so that Bret can screw Michaels. The Hitman doesn’t want to do another Montreal, Jericho thinks it’s an act.

Hornswoggle and Triple H are flogging off the new Mattel line of WWE toys. Hornswoggle wants to play, and Trips says no, until they retain the titles. Shawn enters and asks why Hunter treats Hornswoggle like a little boy, when he has a beard. Helmsley then brings in his Jericho impersonator (Santino Marella) , and sicks Hornswoggle onto him.

Hornswoggle, is now Triple H’s lap dog. Literally.

The Tag Titles are on the line, NEXT!!

Last week, over 2 million females watched RAW. Woop de fucking do.

MATCH #3: Unified Tag Team Championship

D-Generation X (c) vs. Chris Jericho and the Big Show

DX go for the advantage early, but Big Show ends up double suplexing both members.

A commercial follows.

Back from the break, and the challengers are in total control. Jericho just mocked a certain Hulk Hogan in the ring. Gee, I wonder why? Triple H with the Spinebuster! Both men down.

HBK trying to get Big Show down, and finally succeeds, before heading up top, and getting knocked down by Jericho. Hornswoggle gets involved as well, but it only leads to two. Michaels looks for Sweet Chin Music, but Shwo counters into a Chokeslam! Big Show looks for the cover, but Michaels kicks out. Jericho looks for the Walls, but HBK gets the tag to Triple H. A pedigree to Jericho, but Show breaks it up.

Big Show and Michaels out of the ring, and Jericho tries to steal the win, but only gets two. Y2J then hits the CodeBreaker!. but both men are down. Jericho finally goes the cover, but HBK breaks it up. Hronswoggle looks for Sweet Chin on Jericho, but he is knocked down. Jericho looks for the Walls on the Game, but HBK nails Sweet Chin Music, and Trips gets the fall.

YOUR WINNERS: D-Generation X

Stop. Commercial Time.

We return to see Chris Jericho leaving RAW, as per the pre-match stipulation.

Someone’s knocking on Vinnie Mac’s door, and it’s Randall. He has a business proposal for Vince. He wants to kick Bret’s head off, in exchange for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince has his own security, and tells Randy to bugger off. Enter the Legacy. DiBiase and Rhodes want to repay the favour, from last week, by sitting ringside during Orton’s match with Kofi Kingston. Oh, and if Randy doesn’t win, they’re gonna throw him outta Legacy!

Find out (maybe), after the break!

TNA Genesis just got advertised during a RAW commercial. Somebody’s getting fired.

Next Week’s Guest Host… ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson!

Recap of last week’s title match between John Cena and Sheamus.

Enter the Sheamus.  He says he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Does he not remember who the Guest Host is? Anyways, enter the… Bourne?

He wants a title shot, and thinks he can beat the Champion? HA! Sheamus calls him Little Evan Bourne, and asks for a referee.

If Bourne can beat Sheamus, then Evan Bourne gets a WWE Title shot at the Rumble? WTF?

MATCH #4: Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne

This match is impromptu, and if Bourne wins, he gets Sheamus at the Rumble for the title. You gotta be f**king kidding me right?

Even though Evan hits his ‘Air Bourne’, it doesn’t take long for Sheamus to win.

YOUR WINNER: Sheamus.

Sorry Evan, no title shot for you.

Cole and King, then talk about the life of ‘Dr. Death’ Steve Williams, who passed away after a long battle with throat cancer. He will be missed.

I’ll be right back.

Return to the misery, in which this is the first RAW I’ve watched in five months. No kidding. A Bret Hart promo video plays, showing the build-up, and the aftermath of the Survivor Series of 1997.

Kofi comes to the ring for his match, as it’s now…

Commercial time!

RAW was watched more than ABC, CW, NBC and FOX last week. Why do I have trouble believing that?

MATCH #5: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Kofi in control early, clotheslining Randy over the top, then jumping over the ropes, and nailing Orton on the outside. Randall tries figbhting back, with a DDT in the ring, but that doesn’t work, and Kingston sends him to the outside again. Guess what’s next? Yep, you guessed it.

COMMERCIAL!

We return to find Randy Orton applying the patented Indiana Jones and the Chinlock of Doom! This leads to the momentum being in Randy’s favour. Back to the Chinlock of Doom!, but Kofi gets out of it, and both men are down. Kofi Kingston in control now, as the crowd doesn’t really care much for Kofi. Kingston nails Randall with a cross boyd, but it only brings him two. Kofi counters the RKO, into a fancy looking move, for another near fall.

Kingston looks to finish it with Trouble In Paradise, but Orton counters it into the RKO, and the three count.

YOUR WINNER: Randy Orton

Vince is going to the ring, tune in for it, NEXT!

COMMERCIAL!

Enter McMahon…I have a feeling, this is going to be HUGE!

Vince is trying to get the focus off of Montreal, however, it doesn’t take long for the Hitman to arrive. McMahon seems scared of Bret, as he brings back memories of the past between the two. Vince is trying to kiss Bret’s ass, in order to not get dropped.

Did he just say “I want to bring up your dead”? Anyways, Vince brings a nice gesture, by wanting to put Stu Hart in the WWE Hall Of Fame. Bret accepts, nice touch.

McMahon now thanks Bret for everything he did during his time in the company. Hart shakes McMahon’s hand, and the two stand, arms raised, in the middle of the ring, and just when it looks like things end on a good note, Vinnie Mac gives Bret the ol’ Low Blow, and leaves the ring.  Bret stands annoyed in the ring, and that’s all she wrote.

For those who watched that other wrestling show tonight, you sure as hell missed something tonight. Tonight wasn’t about the action. It was about Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon. Hart and Michaels buried the hatchet, and Vince just couldn’t bury it. The Road to WrestleMania begins. Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon in Phoenix.

That’s it for RAW! This has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’.

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The War on… 2009

By Legend Killer | December 29th, 2009

Welcome to the War for another week.

There is no column for week, so this is the last time you will hear from me in 2009.

This piece would be a.. best of, so to speak. A year in review, if you will. However, with my new year’s plans, becoming reality in… 11 hours from now, and with preparation and packing underway as I type, I just don’t have the time, to write a massive piece.

However, and this I promise, the first column, typed from my fingers, thought of from my mind, will be right here, at BoredWrestlingFan.com, that I will guarantee.

Now, I leave you with the thought, that if Brett Favre didn’t exist. I would be odds-on to win my NFL Fantasy League. However, I’m now playing for third place.

Peace out my peeps, see you in 2010.

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The War On… The Festive Season

By Legend Killer | December 24th, 2009

Welcome to the War for this special occasion. Your Legend Killer is declaring war on the festive season. That means Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, plus any other celebration you can come up with for this holiday season.

First of all, I’m writing this on three hours sleep after pre-christmas drinks, so I’m as tired as tired can be.

The WWE boycott is running loud and proud at about five months. In all honesty, I have completely lost track of how long I haven’t watched. All I know is that the last thing I watched, was Shaq guest hosting RAW. That’s how long ago it’s been since I last watched, and to be honest, I don’t miss it. Now that I am in the process of receiving every WWF RAW and SmackDown! from 1998 and 1999. Oh, The good ol’ days.

Christmas is too expensive. Especially when buying presents for yourself.

If you want to buy me something for christmas, give me money. Money is always a wanted christmas present in my books.

D-Generation X. Destroying their legacy one stupid unfunny skit at a time. Remember when they made christmas time fun? Here’s the longer, but censored version. Censored, because they are soft.

Instead, we get stuff like this

Anyways, a short, but sweet War on Christmas, is proudly brought to you by a rather tired Legend Killer. That means, I’m ending this way too early. No time to talk about Hulk Hogan signing with TNA. No time to talk about Bret Hart signing with WWE. No time to talk about Tommy Dreamer’s departure from ECW. Just no time for that. Blame pre-Christmas drinks, and my ability to not sleep during any decent drinking session.

However, this is time to give you, last second advice, on what to buy the rest of the BWF staff. No screwjobs here, folks. Although, the aftermath of one can be seen here, here aaaaaaaaand … … … … here.

A tip for Drow. I wouldn’t just give her the tip, I’d give her the whole damn thing.

For Joe. Beard trimmers.

For JT. A cardboard cut-out of Velvet Sky.

For tharvey1. A capital ‘T’ for his name.

For Jason. A friend to watch ECW with.

For everyone else, there’s MasterCard.

From myself, and the rest of the crew that help me in my war, I’d like to wish all of you the best this holiday season, and hope that you all get coal, or doggy doo, or stuff of that nature in your presents. Tune in next week for the special New Year’s edition. The only place to start your New Year’s party, is right here at BoredWrestlingFan.com… oh, except that other place… you know the one.

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The War On Everything

By Legend Killer | December 13th, 2009

I have to say something here, I just can’t let it go by the wasteside, nor can it wait.

What the hell happened to the St. Louis Rams? I was watching their game against Tennessee earlier, and I knew that the Titans were going to win, and that Chris Johnson was going to run all over them, but I didn’t know a team, could be that bad. Sure, they had to bring in their third-string rookie quarterback in at the last minute, but even with Marc Bulger, I still think the Rams would’ve sucked as much as they did.

It surprised me, when I heard that Steven Jackson, Rams Running Back, had the second highest amount of rushing yards in the year, when, judging by this game, they barely had an offensive line. The O Line only conceded one sack, but Jackson only got 47 yards, on 19 carries. 47 yards! That’s 2.5 yards per carry. Chris Johnson on the other hand, averaged 4.2 yards per carry, in gaining 117 yards and scoring two rushing touchdowns.

The St. Louis Rams are the worst team in the NFL. Worse than Tampa, worse than Cleveland, even worse than Detroit. They are that bad. The only good thing they have going for them, is Johnny Ace’s boy, James Laurinaitis. He looks to be a great linebacker.

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The War On Everything

By Legend Killer | November 18th, 2009

Welcome to the War for another week.

To view the rest of the column, survive the opening video.

Click to continue reading “The War On Everything”

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The War On Everything

By Legend Killer | November 12th, 2009

Welcome to the War for another week.

Tune in after the jump, that’s if, you can make it past the opening video.

Click to continue reading “The War On Everything”

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Posted in That Wednesday Show | 4 Comments »

The War On Everything

By Legend Killer | November 4th, 2009

The following announcement is paid for by the Russian Kremlin.

Click to continue reading “The War On Everything”

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Posted in That Wednesday Show | 6 Comments »

The War On … Global iMPACT Part Deux

By Legend Killer | October 8th, 2009

Here I am, once again, doubling up on his dose of iMPACT for the week. With Spike TV’s airing of Global iMPACT 2, from Japan.

We begin with a promo for the event, involving Angle, Nash, Shelley and Team 3D.

COMMERCIAL:

Global Impact 2, is footage from Wrestle Kingdom III, January 4, 2009.

The results were as follows:

Dark Match: Milano Collection AT, Minoru and Taichi Ishikari def. Mitsuhide Hirazawa, Kazuchika Okada and Nobuo Yoshihashi

Mistico, Ryusuke Taguchi and Prince Devitt def. Averno, Jado and Gedo

Jushin Liger and Takuma Sano def. Wataru Inoue and Koji Kanemoto

GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#1:

IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

MotorCity Machine Guns (Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin) def. No Limit (Yujiro/Tetsuya Naito)

IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Tiger Mask IV retains against Low Ki

GLOBAL IMPACT FEATURED MATCH#2:

Riki Choshu, Masahiro Chono, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash def. Giant Bernard, Takashi Iizuka, Tomohiro Ishii and Karl Anderson

ZERO1 WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Yuji Nagata (c) def. Masato Tanaka

Jun Akiyama def. Manabu Nakanishi

GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#3:

IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

HARDCORE MATCH

Team 3D (Brother Ray/Brother Devon) def. Most Violent Players (Togi Makabe/Toru Yano)

Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima didnt start, due to an eye injury to Tenzan.

Shinsuke Nakamura and Hirooki Goto def. Mitsuharu Misawa and Takashi Sugiura

IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Keiji Mutoh

This concludes the double-header of iMPACT. I have been the one they call ‘Your Legend Killer’.

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The War On … Real-Time (iMPACT-style)

By Legend Killer | October 8th, 2009

This is my unexpected return to the BWF family, due to taking time off from my usual Wednesday column. I didn’t plan this, but the usual iMPACT Goddess is away, and other difficulties means, I, will be taking over duties for one-night only. This does mean I won’t be returning on Wednesdays just yet.

Cue the Kotter. Join me at the top of the hour.

Welcome to the show they call iMPACT, even though it doesn’t even make an impression. I am the one they call ‘Your Legend Killer’, filling in for Drow. It’s time to Cross The Line!!

No opening, just a promo video for Abyss/Foley, followed by the Monster entering the ring with his friends from home. His friends are thumbtacks. Abyss must be lonely. However, his loneliness doesn’t seem to affect him however, as he challenges Foley to a Monster’s Ball match at Bound For Glory. Enter the Dude.

Cactus enters the ring, and starts talking, before Abyss gets all angry in his face. Mankind called him a cheap knock-off last week. Abyss is a cheap knock-off, of Kane. The mask, the hair. That is Kane. The one in WWE isnt who he says he is. Abyss says he’s Hardcore, and Foley isn’t. Now Foley’s the cheap knock-off, because he’s only half the man he used to be. Technically, he used to be four people, so wouldnt be only be one-quarter of what he once was? Anyways, Foley’s bringing his A Game, whereas Abyss can’t use thumbtacks. Miccles makes Dr. Stevie as referee for the Monster’s Ball. Enter the Richards.

Stevie enters with Daffney (somewhere THE GT is at the very least drooling). Abyss’ mother didn’t love him. Enter the Lauren. Abyss’ apparent girlfriend, or as Stevie says, his ‘twenty dollar a-night street walker’. Daffney low blows Abyss, after he tries to attack Stevie, and between the two former ECW wrestlers, they team up to take out the Monster, until the Blueprint enters to save the day.

To the back, with JB!! He’s with Eric Young. He declares victory against the Main Event Mafia. I declare somebody kill Eric Young. Hernandez isn’t your brother Eric, look at him, he’s Latino, and he’s a different skin colour. Unless your mother sleeps around Mr. Young, then somehow I don’t think he’s your brother.

COMMERCIAL

We return … to the back, with JB!! He’s with Kurt Angle. The World Elite declare they are the biggest force in TNA now. Angle declares a 30,00 hit on EY. You suck, EY! Your gonna die.

MATCH#1: TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP

Kevin Nash (c) vs. Hernandez

Peer Pressure? I thought that was only a teenage thing, you’d hear in high school. Enter the Diesel. He shares a birthday with two very famous people. One, is myself. The other? OJ. Yes, Big Sexy, myself, and OJ Simpson.

Kev gains the early advantage, until Hernandez greets Nash to the ring post on the outside, then the barricade. Hernandez starting to dominate his slow opponent, until EY comes down, and takes out Hernandez with a Piledriver. Apparently, Nash owes EY. Probably with an a$$-kicking, but he owes him none-the-less.

Abyss and Matt Morgan look at each other with that awkwardness you get when you are face to face with the girl you’ve liked for so long. They aint gonna be besties. Abyss has no friends. What does Lauren see in him? He wears a mask, and has no friends.

COMMERCIAL

Look, it’s Eric Young, and Kevin Nash. Eric wants to give Nash 60K to help him take out Hernandez. It’s now a triple threat between Young, Hernandez and Nash for the Legends Title at BFG. Hernandez fakes a neck injury, then speaks gibberish on the mic.

MATCH#2: TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP

Samoa Joe (c) vs. Amazing Red

Earl Hebner does NOT have a Hitler moustache. Red gets in about two kicks worth of offence, before Samoa Joe eats him like he’s the appetizer. The man who stole Springsteen’s gimmick comes out, and distracts Joe, allowing Red to attack from behind. Joe doesn’t like it when his food plays with him, so he tenderizes it some more. Then he wants to eat Lashley as well. Black Lesnar drills Joe, meanwhile Red is doooown. But Red is up, and with a 450, and a Flip pin later …

YOUR WINNER AND NEW X-DIVISION CHAMPION: Amazing Red

So the skinny guy takes the title, and Joe is left hungry. That’s not good for who Joe sees next. they’re about to lose an arm. At least.

COMMERCIAL

We’re back, and Lauren interviews Amazing Red, which is actually Samoa Joe. Told you Joe would eat him. Joe screams at Lashley.

MATCH#3:

Daniels and Suicide vs. Homicide and ‘Pope’ D’Angelo Dinero

Daniels and Suicide, were once the same person. Strangely enough, so were Homicide and the Pope. Dinero beats down Suicide. I haven’t seen any offence by Suicide yet. Which isnt ironic, because Suicide normally leads to death and non-movement, which would mean, technically, if someone was to commit sexual acts with Suicide, they would be committing an act of Necrophilia. Daniels gets the tag, and finally gives his team offence, until Homicide, breaks up a pin attempt. However, Homicide thinks that Spanish announcer Willie Urbina is a better opponent, than Daniels or Suicide, and starts attacking him. Homicide then screws Daniels out of the match, and gives the victory for Dinero.

YOUR WINNERS: D’Angelo Dinero and Homicide

To the back, with JB!! Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash backstage, wondering why EY is still standing. Nash said it was because he offered more money, then wondered why Kurt didnt offer triple. Angle’s off to talk to Foley.

COMMERCIAL

This picture is 100% not doctored. Here’s the article.

We’re back, with Mike Tenay, Steiner/Booker, British Invasion, Team 3D and BEER MONEY!!!! These four will compete in a Ladder match, to determine the TNA and IWGP Tag Team champions. Booker T does his best impersonation of a monkey. Storm says he’s SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK!, which leads to an all-in brawl. Team 3D want wood. Me and James Storm have the same hat, not the exact same hat, but hats that look exactly the same. Roode lays Book on the table, then climbs the ladder. Sharmell gets in the way, and Rob Terry knocks Roode off. Team 3D take out Rob Terry, then Steiner and Booker send Brother Devon through the table. MEM hold the gold, and the Invasion don’t like that. Then the MEM brawl with the British Invasion and the Invasion hold all the gold.

COMMERCIAL: One of my favourite songs ever!

We return, to Velvet and Madison Rayne. Someone JT is drooling, and another commercial? WTF??

COMMERCIAL

MATCH#4:

Beautiful People (Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne), Alyssa Flash and Traci Brooks vs. TNA KnockOuts Tag Team Champions (Taylor Wilde/Sarita), Christy Hemme and Hamada.

JT, THE GT, and Myself are all rather happy right about now. Just ask them. Nobody loves the Herpes or Hamada. I don’t understand Hamada, but who in their right wrong would want Herpes?

I only just found out this is an elimination match, when Christy got pinned and eliminated. Taylor Wilde’s face and sternum is driven hard into the canvas? No comment. Hamada and Alyssa Flash are brawling outside, and both get counted out. This leaves Taylor and Sarita, against the Beautiful People and Traci. Velvet Sky eliminates Taylor Wilde with a DDT, which leaves Sarita on her own. But Sarita pins Traci, and she gone! One on two, Sarita versus the Beautiful People. Ironically, it will be Taylor and Sarita putting the titles on the line against the Beautiful People. Velvet Sky gets pinned in a Small Package, leaving it one-on-one.

If Shawn Michaels can’t come back from 3-on-1, then why can Sarita. Alyssa Flash returns to distract the referee, as Lacey Von Erich takes out Sarita, for the easy victory for Madison Rayne.

YOUR WINNER: Madison Rayne

Lacey is taller than JB. To the back, in Foley’s office. Angle and Miccles. Angle doesn’t want games. Foley wants games. Scrabble? Monopoly perhaps? How about Pictionary? Burny Burny Cock Cock? No! No Ludo for the Dude, as Foley doesn’ t want games. King Kurt likes that attitude. The Stinger will join us after … yep, you guessed it.

COMMERCIAL

Abyss and Matt Morgan want pain, as Abyss acts likes a school girl, then chants Mick over and over again off-screen, whilst panting. Foley was laying with Abyss’ barbed-wire bat.

Enter Sting. He’s not out here to perform ‘Message In A Bottle’, nor is he accompained by the Police to sing ‘Every Breath You Take’. He’s here to cut a promo on AJ Styles. Sting suffers from Spontaneous Combustion? Then let him explode in the middle of this promo. If Sting doesn’t meet his expectations, then that’s it. He gone.

Enter the Angle? Mr. 90 degrees has something to say. He thinks this show should be ‘the View’ instead. If that’s the case, then who would win? Barbara Walters or Kurt Angle? Neither of them would do the J-O-B? Kurt Angle’s gonna stay in the middle of the ring, until he gets a title shot. Is that gonna be during the matches as well? To Be The Man, You Gotta Beat … Kurt Angle? Thta’s not how it goes. Angle has his facts misconstrued. Kurt calls Sting a has-been, and tells him to retire. Both men get in each other’s face, and that awkwardness of love comes again, until security comes. However, this isnt love, as Kurt wants Sting to tap to the Shamrock Ankle Lock. Enter the Styles to save the day. Kurt wants a title shot, next week, on the three-hour iMPACT! AJ agrees. Kurt/Styles for the Title, next week.

COMMERCIAL

We’re back, in the back, with Lauren, with AJ, who wants to prove his worthyness.

BOUND FOR GLORY PREVIEW

TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

Taylor Wilde/Sarita (c) vs. Beautiful People (Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne)

TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP

Kevin Nash (c) vs. Hernandez vs. Eric Young

#1 CONTENDER FOR X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP

ULTIMATE X

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Suicide vs. Homicide vs. Daniels

TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS/IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

LADDER MATCH

Main Event Mafia (Scott Steiner/Booker T) (TNA tag) vs. British Invasion (Doug Williams/Brutus Magnus) (IWGP Champs) vs. Team 3D (Brother Ray/Brother Devon) vs. Beer Money Inc. (James Storm/Robert Roode)

MONSTER’S BALL

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan

TNA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

AJ Styles (c) vs. Sting

Samoa Joe is off somewhere. probably to commercial.

COMMERCIAL

Enter the MotorCity Machine Guns. They’re doing things Machine Guns style. Their music made Consequences Creed throw up last week. They’re here to debut their new video. As it’s playing, Samoa Joe comes to eat the MotorCity boys, then heads to the ring to call out Lashley, so he can eat him too. Enter the Springsteen. Joe confronts the Boss, and off they brawl. Hellloooooo, Spanish Announce Table. Run Hugo Run!!!! TNA playing a card out of the WWE playbook, as Joe heads up the scaffold, through a Kurt Angle trading card, and puts Lashley through the Spanish table.

COMMERCIAL

We return, with Lashley recovering, then go again …

COMMERCIAL

We return again, with several replays of the Spanish Announce Table disintegrate under the weight of Lashley and Joe. Bobby Lashley is dead. He won’t be missed.

MATCH#5: TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP

ODB (c) vs. Tara

This is the first match in god-knows how long on this show, I had to scroll up, just to see what number match it was. Just think JT, you could be dating the Champion right now.

Women’s matches don’t interest me much. Whether they’re KnockOuts or Divas. Even if Tara is the Triple H of TNA, according to her merchandise. However, it’s Awesome Kong with the Sledgehammer, and she threatens to eat So Cal Val, unless she is given the spider. Kong to play Spider Croquet, but Tara won’t let her, which allows ODB to get the fall.

YOUR WINNER: ODB

Kurt, Miccles and Foley’s invisible friend are ready.

COMMERCIAL:

We return to the music of Foley. No, not that one. Not that either. Keep going. Almost There. Finally.

MAIN EVENT:

Mick Foley w/Dr. Stevie w/Daffney and Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan and Abyss

The referee throws out Stevie and Daffney even before Angle’s music plays.

Foley wants none of Abyss, and tags in Angle. Abyss eats Barbed Wire bat, and now Foley wants in. Abyss tries to gain advantage, but Foley stops that, and tags back in Angle. AngleSlam countered by Abyss. Morgan gets the tag, and takes on Angle, until Foley comes in. All four in now, until Abyss clotheslines Angle to the outside. Foley with the sock, no says Abyss as he uses the bat, Morgan with the Carbon Footprint, and that’s a quick Main Event.

YOUR WINNERS: Matt Morgan and Abyss

That’s all for iMPACT this week .. or is it?

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The War On Everything

By Legend Killer | September 25th, 2009

Welcome to the War for another week.

Let’s start off with RAW, and Lillian Garcia’s final RAW. I have not seen this episode, nor will I, due to my boycotting of WWE programming.

Actually, that’s it. Infact, it’s going to be it for awhile. I am taking a leave of absence from BWF, so as I can catch up on other projects, and sort out other problems.

I leave you with the song of the week, and the clip of the week. See you in the near future.

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