1. I’d hate to have to do this, especially since I skipped out on ECW and SmackDown last week (and, in fact, have not seen either of them), but something came up when I was getting set to review RAW that led to me having to leave and miss most of the show.  Sure, it’s on my DVR, but still, this is a special night of RAW, and it can’t be cast aside to be watched tomorrow and reviewed then.  Indeed, folks, tonight was Draft night.  I was going to post predictions earlier in the day but decided against it.  The only person I really felt was definitely moving was Triple H, and “my predictions:  Triple H to RAW” is not exactly a compelling article.  I also was going to predict that something absolutely insane would happen to Vince McMahon, since that’s been the case at the draft shows for the last two years.

    Who’s going where?  RAW results and my thoughts after the jump! (more…)

  2. Better late than never, right?

    Right?

    Oh, just go with it, people!

    This past week’s “Impact” just so happened to fall on my birthday, which was pretty cool. What was not in the least bit cool was my lack of internet connection, preventing me from joining in the combination “Impact”/birthday thread, and getting a review for this site posted in a timely manner. Hey, it could be worse. At least this isn’t a site that waits almost a full week to post a review of the previous week’s show. But I digress.

    Let’s cross that line, people! Assuming that you’re sober enough to find it in the first place.

    We open with a video package detailing several of the ongoing storylines. Foley’s “First Blood” match is pushed heavily. This week’s “Dragonball Z”-esque title is “Who’s Calling the Shots?” Mike Tenay and Don West talk up the Booker T vs. Samoa Joe match later in the program that determines which team gets the advantage in the “Lethal Lockdown” match. As closely as I follow this, I’m still not clear on what precisely that advantage is. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

    To the ring! It’s the Main Event Mafia. And their group entrance music. Kurt Angle leads, flanked by his personal security team. Booker T and Sharmell are not amongst the group. Sting is last in line. Sting asks Jeff Jarrett to join him in the ring. Somehow, we know he will. Jarrett’s music plays, and The Founder of TNA (drink) hits the ring. The TNA World Heavyweight Champion is not happy. Sting complains that Mick Foley pulled rank over Jeff Jarrett last week by booking Sting in a “warm-up” match against Samoa Joe. Since Sting is facing Foley at the upcoming “Lockdown” ppv, that’s hardly fair. Jarrett has business to conduct, and really doesn’t need Sting getting up in his face about this. Jarret tries to leave the ring, but Sting stops him. Sting just wants to hear from Jarrett’s own lips whether or not Foley is calling the shots now. Jarret tells Sting that Foley is not calling the shots, that The King of the Mountain is running the show. Sting is pleased, and says that he’s glad to know that he’s dealing with the man in charge. If he had to have a warm-up match for the ppv booked by Foley, it’s only right that this week, Sting gets to book Foley in a warm-up match as well. Scott Steiner tells Jarrett that he could take another road, the joining the MEM road. Jarrett says that such a thought is not even an option. Steiner wants to go backstage and discuss it. However, before Jarrett can say anything to such a proposition, the MEM is interrupted by-

    THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS!!!!! (birthday present #1)

    The Guns are sporting thier IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Championship title belts. The ones that get almost no mention or focus? Yes, those belts. Alex Shelley has a mic. Shelley tells Sting and Jarrett that they were in the back, busily playing “Resident Evil V” and “Street Fighter IV” on the X-box, when they heard that Sting wanted someone to fight Mick Foley. Shelley is pretty sure that Foley runs TNA, and says so. He offers up the services of the MCMG for hire, and challenges Foley to a handicap match against himself and Chris Sabin. Shelley brings up the Turkey Bowl from last November, and calls it the worst, most humiliating day of his career. Because of Mick Foley, he was forced to wear a turkey suit that smelled like burnt hair on national television. He has thought about that moment every day since, and has quietly bided his time for a chance to get even with Foley. This is that chance.

    Side note: Why didn’t we see a replay of Alex Shelley being forced into the turkey suit? Some people watching probably never even saw it. We all know that we’re watching a show. It’s not as if it’s a suspension of disbelief that the video footage of such a thing would be available to air at a moment’s notice. Shelley and Sabin could even have (gasp) been allowed enough promo time to introduce the clip themselves, and react to seeing it again appropriately.

    In any case, Sting approves, and Jarrett grants the match. Regardless of the circumstances, the MCMG are in the main event against Mick Foley! (birthday present #2) Shocking and miraculous as it may seem, Kurt Angle did not talk during this entire thing! A trend? HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, I know, but still!

    To the back! Jeremy Borash asks Mick Foley his thoughts on the handicap match. Foley laughs about the whole thing, and refers to the MCMG as “white meat babyfaces.” Um, ok. He goes on to talk about “tweaking” the match, but leaves before JB can get an explanation out of him.

    To the back! JB is with Foley and Jarrett. Foley is in bizarro mode, and thanks Jarrett for the match, but wants to “tweak” it a little. He continues to annoy Jarrett before leaving. JB asks Jarrett if something is bothering him, but Scott Steiner enters, and Jarrett kicks JB out. Hmm.

    Match #1: Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/ Kiyoshi and Team No Limit) defeats Suicide [non-title match]: When did this happen? Did Bashir and the entire Japanese contingent get thrown together simply because they’re all brown, and would therefore naturally want to hang out? The only one who has clearly and consistently been a heel is Bashir. Could we at least get some kind of explanation? It’s already been established that the Japanese guys don’t speak English (thank you , Kurt Angle), so how would Bashir be able to talk to them? I’m just sayin’. The match itself went about four minutes. Not that it mattered, as Tenay and West talked about the Main Event Mafia the whole time. Can’t we hook them up to shock collars and zap them when they do that? Please? Nice tactics of No Limit attacking Suicide on the floor while the ref was distracted, and Kiyoshi sneaking into the ring to kick Suicide. Bashir DDTs Suicide onto the X-Division title belt for the win, which was nice. The lights go out, and Suicide vanishes by the time they come up again. Suicide appears to be getting a much bigger reaction than he was, so many question the wisdom of having him lose matches right now. It wasn’t a clean one-on-one loss, though. The super hero video game character has a chink in the armor, and if a group of guys can take him down, it makes the X-scape match at “Lockdown” more compelling because they’ve established the possibility that he CAN lose.

    To the back! The Beautiful People and Madison Rayne (I refuse to call them by their sorority name of “Mi Pi Sexy”) are walking. With scissors. Ah, the jokes write themselves, don’t they?

    To the back! Navy veteran Jesse Neal is with Rhino. Rhino does most of the talking. From everything that I’ve read, the story is true, and not a pathetic attempt by TNA creative to play the emotional patriotism card. Neal was on the USS Cole when it was attacked by terrorists in Yemen. That was how he lost a close friend who had shared his love of wrestling. He wants to wrestle, and every match will be in memory of his friend. Rhino says that he’ll be honored to train him. In real life, Neal trains at Team 3D’s school. Either way, he’s a former Navy guy who is legitimately training to wrestle. Good for him. Unfortunately, does anyone else see a collision course between Neal and Rhino and Bashir and the Japanese contingent? As much as I hope they don’t….

    To the announce table! Tenay and West talk about upcoming events. For some reason, they think that anyone will actually give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock that “Survivor: Amazon” winner Jenna Moresca will be at the “Lockdown” fan convention. More importantly, The Beautiful People and Madison Rayne jump Raisha Saeed in the back, pull off her head covering, and cut off some of her hair. Saeed’s back stays turned to the camera at all times, so her face is never shown. I guess Kong and Saeed are official faces now.

    To the “Rough Cuts” segment! Team 3D talks about their wrestling academy. They congratulate themselves profusely for passing the torch to the next generation and training new guys when lots of veterans won’t. It was a nice package, but I’m sorry, do you want a cookie? There’s quite a lot of self-congratulation going on in TNA amongst the “veteran” crowd about how they put over the younger guys, bring up the next generation, and so on, and that’s just not true. Yes, Team 3D and Beer Money are doing very well. Yes, Mick Foley seems to be keen on working with the Motor City Machine Guns, to a degree. Not much else can be said. Team 3D and the rest of the “veteran” crew will truly be worthy of the accolades they bestow upon themselves when they are no longer the focus of the show. The end.

    To the Mike Tenay sit-down interview! Sting tells the story of Mick Foley losing an ear in Germany. He goes on to say that there would be no coming back for him from a major injury this time, and plays up Foley’s unpredictability. This was long, but one of the better Sting promos. He never was a good talker, but his recent TNA work has been the best of his career.

    To the back! Lauren rips Abyss a new one for taking the abuse heaped upon him last week by Dr. Stevie. Is she really his girlfriend now? She finally agrees not to report Dr. Stevie, but next week, she’s attending Abyss’s therapy session with him, and Dr. Stevie is going to know everything! Is anyone else uncertain as to what that means?

    To the ring! It’s Mick Foley. “To tweak or not to tweak? That is the question.” Ah, Mickles, you kill me! He holds up the work in progress that is his next book, “Crossing the Line.” He decided to tweak the match tonight because of what was in this notebook. Two of his sons, Dewey and Huey (please tell me that someone else thought, “Where’s Louie?”), wanted to look like the Motor City Machine Guns, specifically with haircuts like Alex Shelley. A birthday card with drawings of the MCMG and birthday messages is shown. Foley shows a picture of his younger son with long, golden hair. He says that he went away on the road for a few days, and he came back to see his son sporting an Alex Shelley haircut. A photo confirming this is shown. Foley makes the main event match a “First Blood” match because he wants to make sure that no child ever wants to look anything like Alex Shelley ever again. Tonight, he’s going to carve that kid up like a Thanksgiving turkey. He has tried to keep his home a “Machine Gun-free zone,” and Ted Nugent wouldn’t even want these Guns around. The whole promo was very effective and well-done. Foley came off as angry that his kids idolized someone other than him, and the idea of slaughtering your kids’ heroes because they’re your kids’ heroes is rather heelish. Hopefully, that’s the point they’re going for.

    To the back! JB asks the MEM about Sharmell. In case anyone forgot, Samoa Joe walked out of the arena with Sharmell slung over his shoulder. Booker T sits mournfully in a chair, his voice taking a serious tone and nearly breaking. After his very public admission that he uses his TNA television time as free audition time for Hollywood, taking anything that he says on the show seriously is impossible. Today, Mr. BT Huffman (thanks SABUISGOD!) is going for the bereaved parent/spouse role, possibly along the lines of Sean Penn in “Mystic River.” Sharmell hasn’t been the same since Joe took her out of the arena. She hasn’t said a word, and he has no idea what happened. Tonight, what Booker T does to Joe will be left up to Joe’s imagination. Booker leaves, appropriately distressed. Kurt Angle speaks for the first time tonight (GASP!). He says that the match won’t be about the advantage for the “Lethal Lockdown” match. He’s going to the ring with Booker, and if Joe wants to unleash the Nation of Violence, he can unleash it on Angle.

    To the back! AJ Styles offers to come to the ring with Joe to balance out Angle. Joe tells AJ that, as far as AJ is concerned, his Nation of Violence is a Nation of One. Joe walks away, but AJ’s sarcastic response of “Oh, really?” rings out loud and clear.

    Match #2: Samoa Joe defeats Booker T: This match didn’t even go two minutes. I’m perfectly ok with that. Booker is distracted and distraught. Joe is psychopathic. Why shouldn’t it go like that? Angle trips up Joe and hands Booker a chair, but AJ runs in and pulls the chair away from Angle before attacking him. Joe looked not at all pleased that AJ had shown up. Team Angle and TEam Jarrett are now tied at 1-1 for the “Lethal Lockdown” advantage. Whatever that is.

    To the amusement park! Cody Deaner and ODB are on a date. Painfully horrible stuff. They meet a guy in a Woody Woodpecker costume. They played with balls. Yes, all this for some “pecker and balls” jokes. ODB kisses Deaner on the cheek at the end, and he completely flips out. Please end this now.

    To the “Rough Cuts” segment! Another look at Team 3D. They talk about the greatest tag teams in history, and the titles that they’ve won in other companies.

    To the back! Kevin Nash hits on Jenna Moresca. Again. Ok, wait. So you’re telling me that if I win a reality tv show by getting naked for snack food, pose naked in a magazine, and claim to be a lifelong wrestling fan, I’ll get signed to a contract where I get paid more than real wrestlers to train to actually wrestle in the ring, and get put in a romantic storyline with my favorite wrestler? Where do I sign up???

    To the back! Speaking of, Lauren interviews the MCMG. More talk of video games. Shelley announces that they’re so confident that they’ll walk out of this match victorious, that they’ll put their IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Championship title belts on the line. Foley can have them if he beats them. Shelley knows that Mick can barely get out of bed in the morning, and they aren’t at all concerned. Chris Sabin gets the mic, and the future Mr. Drowgoddess says that they are going to do what they do best, make a name for themselves. Yes.

    Match #3: James Storm (w/ Robert Roode) defeats Scott Steiner (w/ Kevin Nash) by DQ: Why exactly this match happened is anyone’s guess. Team 3D came out to do commentary. Towards the end of the match, Nash interferes and hits Storm with Steiner’s massive pipe (that looks so wrong when I type it), causing a DQ. Team 3D rushes the ring and chases off the Main Event Mafia. More mutual respect between Team 3D and Beer Money.

    To the back! The Beautiful People are on their golden thrones. JB asks them about the match tonight. Angelina Love wants to be the Number One Contender to the Knockouts title. Raisha Saeed won’t make the match tonight, as they left her in a pool of her own blood, hair, and vomit. Hold on, did I miss something? I watched it, and I saw hair. No blood, no vomit. Angelina Love is such a dirty pirate hooker. She says untrue things.

    Match #4: Awesome Kong defeats Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky: This was supposed to be a tag team match, and it became a handicap match. Fair enough. Not even two minutes did it go. Kong pins Velvet Sky, but Angelina Love runs down and the trio attempts to cut Kong’s hair. They fail, and Taylor Wilde makes the save. No one, I repeat, NO ONE should have to make a save for Awesome Kong.

    To the back! JB asks Jarrett what’s going on with Steiner behind closed doors. Jarrett tells JB that it’s none of his business. However, next week, a former TNA champion will turn up for the deciding match in the “Lethal Lockdown” advantage series. The advantage is to have an extra man in the cage when the match starts. Ah, I see. This unknown personage will face Kevin Nash. Please try to control your hysterical laughter. I know. It’s difficult.

    To the ring! Sting gets a full entrance as “Special Enforcer.” Special like the Olympics.

    Match #5: The Motor City Machine Guns defeat Mick Foley in a “First Blood” match: Oh. My. God. Not only were they in the main event, they technically got a victory. YES! *”Hallelujah Chorus” plays* Foley brought his barbed-wire baseball bat to the ring, and action started off between Foley and Shelley. They end up on the floor outside, where Sabin hits a sweet missile drop kick from the apron on Foley, causing him to crash most painfully. Beautiful double suicide dive from the Guns, sending Foley into the barricade. We go to a commercial break here. When we return, it’s Foley and Sabin in the ring. Shelley hits Foley with a flying forearm. Another Sabin missile drop kick, and stereo enziguris. Shelley is in. From the apron, Sabin makes the Sting battle cry and pounds his chest like an angry gorilla. Sting is angry at this mockery, and the future Mr. Drowgoddess is yanked from the apron and planted on the floor with a Scorpion Death Drop. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Foley hits Shelley with the double-arm DDT, pulls out Mr. Socko, and shoves it down Shelly’s throat. When Foley pulls the sock back, it has blood on it. The referee tries to call for the bell, but Foley won’t allow it. He grabs the mic and says that this little bit isn’t what he promised, or what he’s going to deliver. “Shelley, I’m going to make you suffer.” Foley goes for his barbed-wire baseball bat, and is about to smash Shelley in the groin with it, but Sting steps up and slams a steel chair into Foley’s head. Foley is busted open, and Sting makes the ref declare the MCMG the winners of the match. This is just before Foley and Sting brawl out on the floor.

    Yes, I know that we’re lucky to get what we got. Yes, I know that nothing more should be expected. That the MCMG were really pawns in the Sting/Foley feud is not surprising. It just makes them look incredibly weak that they couldn’t beat Foley without help from Sting, who basically handed them the match victory. Alex Shelley has been singled out from the beginning as the problem child, and the person who has issues with Foley, and Chris Sabin is just kind of there. If the MCMG are going to be treated as a unit, everything can’t be Alex Shelley’s fault. It’s a minor thing, but it needs addressing. The top three matches for “Lockdown” are looking very good. One can’t really fault the build for Sting/Foley, Team 3D/Beer Money, or the “Lethal Lockdown” match. The rest of the card seems haphazard and thrown together. Even if it isn’t, it hasn’t been addressed well on television. There’s one more week to make us want to buy “Lockdown.” Let’s see what TNA comes up with.

    Peace out,
    Drowgoddess

  3. W for …

    Welcome lads, lasses and haemaphs. It’s me once again, on yet another Wednesday, fresh off Real-Time for WrestleMania XXV. For those who didnt catch it, then read the thread, situated just a couple of posts down. For those that did, then let’s continue.

    If you remember, my head and my heart gave their predictions for WMXXV. Well the results are in! My head picked a grand total of … 2! Undertaker, and the 25th Diva, Santina Marella. My heart on the other hand, didnt get all 9, but still beat my head. My heart picked 4. Triple H, Chris Jericho, Santina Marella and Matt Hardy. These results leave one question. Is it better to pick with your head, or your heart? When it came to WMXXV? Your heart was the one you should’ve went for.

    Onto non-Wrestlemania news. Batista is back.

    Onto news that people will care about, Tank Johnson has signed a 1-year deal with the Bengals. The same Tank Johnson who, well I’ll let his Wikipedia page tell you. The link is the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Johnson.

    With Lockdown less than two weeks away, the only match I care about, is of course the Tag Title match between Team 3D and the one and only, Beer Money Inc. The rest of the card can go to hell. Anything that involves Kurt Angle, I’m trying to ignore him, in an attempt he goes away. It hasnt worked so far, but these things don’t happen overnight.

    Finally, in conjuction with vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com, I am starting a competition. It’s based on this commercial for Roses chocolates Commercial. In it, it says that by thanking someone, you give them a box of Roses chocolates. For example, Thank you very much for watering my garden, and you give them chocolates. What this competititon is, well, it’s simple. What’s the most inapproapriate thing you can think of, yet be thanked with Roses chocolates?

    Thank you very much for … then you add the rest.

    For those who dont understand, I’ll give you a few examples. Thank you very much for … killing my family. Thank you very much for … making me sit through a Kurt Angle match. Now, those examples cant be used, but surely you can come up with better ones than that. The competiton ends soon, so get a-creating.

    Thats all for this Wednesday, I have been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, asking you,  Would you like some knives?

    or

    Maybe you’d like these knives?

  4. Before I get started, I want to thank the entire BoredWrestlingFan staff for all of their contributions to WrestleMania week.  Overall we finished with 331 page views on the week, which is more than we had in some of our early months here.  Great job, guys!  Tonight on RAW, we’ll see a 10 Diva tag team match with five of RAW’s Divas vs. five of SmackDown’s Divas.  We’ll see Miz and Morrison get their chance at redemption as they get a rematch with Carlito and Primo for the unified tag team championships, and according to Joey Styles himself, tonight’s RAW Main Event is an “All-Star WrestleMania Tag”:  Cena, Hardy, Punk, Dragon and Mysterio vs. Edge, Show, Hardy, Jericho and Kane (source:  twitter.com/WWEJoeyStyles).  There’s also been a rumor that Randy Orton might be getting another chance at the WWE Championship as well, but again, it’s only a rumor.

    Will anybody bother to step up and try to top HBK/Undertaker as a potential Match of the Year?  We’ll find out tonight!  Results after the jump! (more…)

  5. It’s over now.

    Legend Killer did an utterly bang-up job of real-time results, and by now you all know how the show played out, so there’s little point in rehashing it here. However, as one of the 72,744 attendees, several thoughts seemed worth sharing.

    (more…)

  6. I may not be the best at it, and nobody else may know about it. But, I, is bringing you LIVE, Wrestlemania 25.

    Just to let you know, the Unified Tag Team Titles, was the PRE-SHOW match.

    Your winners, and Unified Tag Team Champions … THE COLONS!! Which makes my head and my heart 0-1.

    The opening video shows several superstars telling us which was their favourite WM moment, Good touch, I thought.

    The show starts with Nicole Schren…Zinger Burger, singing ‘America the Beautiful’. She cant sing.

    Oh, btw, I’m running Real Time here, and posting in the boards at WWI.com

    J.R., Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler on commentary.

    Match One: MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH

    CM Punk(RAW) vs Mark Henry(ECW)w/Tony Atlas vs MVP(Smackdown!) vs Finlay (ECW) w/Hornswoggle vs Shelton Benjamin(Smackdown!) vs Kofi Kingston(RAW) vs Christian(ECW) vs Kane(RAW)

    The match begins, Shelton and Christian head outside, everyone else brawls in the ring. Kane and Mark Henry clear out the ring, and start on each other. Christian and Shelton bring a ladder into the ring and take out Kane and Henry. Kofi comes in and dropkicks the ladder, knoking down both men. Kane and Mark Henry now climbing the ladder, until the other six men knock them down. Finlay, MVP, Punk and Benjamin are on top of two ladders, until Kane and Henry knock down both ladders, sending four men flying. Now, Kane’s the only man standing. he climbs the ladder, until Henry knocks the ladder over. Henry sends a ladder flying at Finlay. Finlay ducks, takes out Henry, then suicide dives on those on the outside. Christian, then dives at Kane and Finlay. MVP drops an elbow on the three men on the outside, then Kofi and Punk dive on the four. Benjamin off a ladder dives on six men!! Leaving Mark Henry the only one not to dive on everyone. Henry to the top rope, ready to dive, until Finlay takes him out. Hornswoggle with a step ladder, uses it to climb on Henry’s back, and Hornswoggle dives on top of everyone. Finlay the only one standing. Attacks Kofi in the corner, but Kofiu retaliates, but taking Finlay out. Kofi charges, but Finlay puts the step-ladder in the way, and nails Kofi. Finlay taking everyone out with the step-ladder. Finlay climbing up the ladder, until Kofi jumps up and kicks him off.  Kofi starts to climb, until Henry returns and pushes the ladder over, knocking Kofi off. Kofi almost climbs up the ladder, but he falls at the last step, is caught be Henry, who gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder. MVP back now, attacking Henry with the ladder. MVP and Shelton now at it. A ladder placed between another ladder and the top rope. Shelton ducks under one ladder, then jumps up on it and after MVP, who counters into a powerbomb. Punk now touching the briefcase, until Christian stops him. Christian standing on one ladder, with the Unprettier on CM Punk off the ladder. MVP now back up, climbing the ladder, until Shelton joins him. Shelton tries a Sunset Flip, but MVP tries to counter. Shelton then throws MVP over the top rope onto Mark Henry. Shelton climbing the ladder, joined by Finlay. Finlay gets throws off. Christian gets Shelton off the ladder. Shelton sets up another ladder, and he and Christian climb up the two ladders. The ladder tilts, Shelton falls off but Christian holds on. Punk climbs up, but gets his foot caught on the ladder. Kane comes back and throws Christian off the ladder. Punk back up, tries to reach, but Kane grabs Punk. Punk kicks Kane off the ladder and grabs the briefcase.

    YOUR WINNER : CM PUNK

    Slim Jim is a sponsor of WM25.

    Highlights of the WWE WM Fan AXXess tour. The tour looks huge! It would be a good event to go to, damn you Drow.

    Lilian Garcia introduces Kid Rock. Kid Rock performs ‘Bawitaba’, ‘Rock and Roll Jesus’, ‘Cowboy’, ‘All Summer Long’ and ‘So Hott’. He sure looks old these days. But, you have to like the Elvis Costello impression. I apologize if I dont name all the songs he performs in this medley. I’m not a Kid Rock fanatic. The medley leads into Match Two

    MATCH TWO: 25 DIVA BATTLE ROYAL TO DETERMINE MISS WRESTLEMANIA

    Guest Timekeeper Mae Young with Candice Michelle. Rosa Mendes eliminated. Leyla eliminated before the match began. Sorry about the lack of detail for this match. i’m just doing eliminations. Someone got eliminated, but I cant tell who it is. Sunny and Torrie Wilson eliminated. Maria eliminated by Victoria. the Bella Twins and Jillian eliminated. Tiffany eliminated by Beth Phoenix. Kelly Kelly eliminated, Molly Holly eliminated. Maryse out. Santino’s in drag. Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool, Santina?, and Melina left. Michelle and Mickie eliminate each other. Santina eliminate Beth and Melina.

    YOUR WINNER: SANTINA!! The next Harvey Whippleman. I think we just found JT’s new bride, now the contest for ODB is over.

    Chris Jericho vs Jimmy Snuka, Ricky Steamboat and Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair is next. Trailer for ‘the Wrestler’ plays. Video for the mext match plays.

    MATCH THREE: THREE ON ONE ELIMINATION HANDICAP MATCH

    Chris Jericho vs Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka and ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper w/ ‘Nature Boy’ Ric Flair’

    Mickey Rourke is sitting ringside for this one.

    Jericho and Piper starts. Piper spits at Y2J and tackles him to the ground. Piper takes Jericho to the outside, but gets caught in the ropes. Piper untangles himself. Throws Y2J back in, Piper sunset flip and a 2. Piper with a dropkick!! Piper with punches in the corner, Snuka asks for the tag and gets it. Sunka and Jericho now in the ring. Snuka with punches and chops and tags in Steamboat. Steamboat off the top rope, then with a couple of arm drags. Steamboat working on the left arm of Y2J. Steamboat tags in Snuka, and they double-team Y2J. Snuka with a headbutt. Snuka goes for another move but counters into the walls, and Snuka taps out.

    JIMMY SNUKA IS ELIMINATED

    Piper in the ring with Jericho. Piper with an eye-poke, then with a sleeper hold. Jericho counters into a running enziguri, and gets the three.

    RODDY PIPER IS ELIMINATED

    Steamboat and Jericho left. Steamboat with a cross-body off the top and gets a two. Jericho now on the attack. Jericho with a Chin Lock on Steamboat. Steamboat fights back, knocks Jericho down with a Shoulder Block. Steamboat skins the cat, throws Jericho to the outside, then does a Springboard Splash on Jericho. Steamboat off the top with a Clothesline. Steamboat with a roll-up and another two.  Jericho now on the attack. Jericho counters the Irish Whip, Jericho with the Bulldog, but Steamboat dodges the Lionsault. Steamboat with the Powerslam, another two. Steamboat gets countered into the Walls, but Steamboat counters into a roll-up and another two-count. Jericho hits the CodeBreaker! and gets the three.

    RICKY STEAMBOAT IS ELIMINATED!

    YOUR WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO

    Post match, Flair in the ring, chops on Y2J, whips Jericho into the ropes, but Jericho counters with a Back Body Drop. Jericho now hits the CodeBreaker on Flair. Jericho grabs a microphone. Turns his attention to Mickey Rourke, challenges Mickey Rourke and wants him to apologize. Jericho eggs Rourke on, calling him a coward and a liar among other things. Rourke comes out from the crowd, and heads toward the ring. Rourke in the ring, and does this count as a match? Rourke fires some left jabs toward Jericho. Jericho manages to get out of the way. Jericho swings at Rourke, Rourke dodges and connects with a left-hook to Jericho. Shades of Wrestlemania 14 and Mike Tyson,as Mickey Rourke knocks down Jericho. Flair and Rourke celebrate in the ring.

    Commercial for National Guard.They have commercials on PPV?

    Preview Video for Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy.

    MATCH FOUR: EXTREME RULES

    Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy

    Why is it, that Jeff Hardy always looks like Vampiro these days?

    Jeff slaps Matt, then attacks with fists. Jeff and Matt to the outside, Jeff grabs a WM poster, and hits Matt over the head with it. Jeff with a trashcan, but Matt blocks it. Jeff knocks Matt down with a fancy move. Jeff grabs a chair and heads in the ring. Jeff tries Poetry in Motion, but Matt gets out of the way. Jeff attempts Whisper in the Wind, but Matt uses the chair and nails Jeff in the knee, and gets a two-count. Matt now under the ring, and hits Jeff with a vaccum cleaner, and Matt gets another two-count. Jeff tries to fight back, but Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair, and gets a third three count. Matt with the upper hand. Matt bends Jeff’s body around the turnbuckle post, and Matt goes under the ring and grabs a Table. Matt sets it up on the outside, and sets up Jeff for a suplex. Jeff blocks it. Jeff jumps off the ring apron and hits Matt with a Clothesline. Jeff whips Matt into the steps. Jeff, now under the ring, and grabs a Cane and a Crutch. Jeff hits Matt with the cane. Jeff with a trashcan now, sits it on Matt’s head, and hits the can with the crutch, then kicks the can whilst it’s still on Matt’s head. Jeff gets a two-count. Jeff goes for the Swanton but Matt gets out of the way. Matt hits the Twist of Fate but only gets a two. Matt now heading to the top, but Jeff counters. Jeff hits a Superplex off the top. Jeff grabs a chair and connects with Matt’s head. Jeff now, lays Matt up on the table, and lays the chair on top of Matt. Jeff goes under the ring, and grabs another table, and sets it up on top of the first table. Jeff heading to the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a splash on top of the two tables and Matt Hardy. Jeff throws Matt back in the ring, goes for the cover, but only gets a Two!, as Matt gets his foot on the ropes. Jeff under the ring yet again, this time he grabs a Ladder, and puts it in the ring. Jeff sits a chair up, and springs up, off the chair, nailing Matt with a Leg Drop. Jeff now has Two Ladders, one bigger than the other. Jeff climbing up the lower ladder, jumps over the bigger ladder, but Matt Hardy avoids it. Matt Hardy up, and connects with the Twist of Fate on the set-up chair, and gets the three.

    YOUR WINNER: MATT HARDY

    During this match, I must say, my food and drink delivery came, so I will be munching and sucking down Pepsi Max for the remainder of the show.

    Commercial for WWE Legends of WrestleMania.

    Randy Orton prepares for his match tonight.

    MATCH FIVE: INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP

    John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield (c) vs Rey Mysterio

    JBL on the mic, talking about his WM moment. Telling Texas how they have no Champion, and no men. Tells Texas they need hope, they need JBL.  JBL bags out Texas, and says that he is Texas’ hero.

    Rey looks like Doink the Clown. Either that, or Heath Ledger as the Joker.

    Lilian with the champion inductions, when they are both in the ring. The ref going through the rules, but JBL with the Boot to Rey. JBL beats up Rey pre-match. The match begins. Rey with an Enziguri, the 619 and the Splash off the top, and the three.

    YOUR WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: REY MYSTERIO

    21 seconds. That’s how long it took Rey to get the victory. JBL is stunned in the ring. JBL on the mic once again.

    “I Quit!” – JBL

    The crowd wave good-bye to JBL, as he leaves the arena.

    WrestleMania is sponsored by the National Guard, and Carl Edwards, fresh from the race at Texas, is in the crowd for WM.

    Preview for Shawn Michaels/Undertaker

    MATCH SIX: MR. WRESTLEMANIA VS THE STREAK

    Shawn Michaels vs the Undertaker

    We are less than two hours into the PPV, and this the third to last match. The last three are going to go a long time. Also, I wonder what Joe will think of this Real Time report. Considering, that he, will probably be thinking about reviewing WrestleMania after he finishes watching it with his girl?

    Shawn Michaels’ entrance is awesome!! It looks like he’s coming down from Heaven. White light backdrop, fireworks, dressed in his white suit. Then, ‘Sexy Boy’ plays, and there he is in his attire. Better entrance than WMXII for HBK. Michaels is from Texas. Taker is from Texas. Hometown advantage goes to nobody. The gong hits and here comes ‘Taker. ‘Taker rises from underneath the stage, like he’s rising from Hell. ‘Taker’s entrance is good as well, but then again, it’s always awesome come this time of year.

    The match begins. Both men attack. Taker goes for a punch, but HBK counters into a chop. Both men trying to get the one-up on the other. Michaels with punches in the corner. Michaels whips Taker off the ropes, goes for the right hand, but Taker blockes it, and throws HBK to the top rope. HBK jumps over Taker, feigns an injury, and pounces on Taker. Taker now, with body shots to HBK. Taker and HBK sharing exchanges in the corner. Taker whips HBk into the ropes, HBK does the flip in the corner, bounces back to get thrown by Taker. Taker with a slam and an elbow, and gets a two. Taker wrenching the arm, and delivers his shoulder into HBK. Taker going Old School on HBK! Taker goes for a boot in the corner, but HBK rolls out of the way. HBK starting to get the upper hand now. Michaels with a hard kick to Taker. HBk looking for the Sharpshooter, but Taker tries to block it. But HBK locks on the Figure-Four! Taker trying to fight out of it. HBK getting near falls. Taker fighting out of the move with right hands. Michaels with a dropkicks to the knees, knocking down Taker. Michaels off the ropes, but Taker catches him. Taker and HBK in the corner. Taker whips HBK across the ring, and catches him with a Clolthesline in the corner. Taker hits Snake Eyes, then connects with the boot to HBK. Leg Drop by Taker, then a pinfall … two count. Taker looking for the Chokeslam, but HBK counters with the Crossface!!!!! Taker tries to counter into a pin, but HBK kicks out, and still holds the Crossface in. Taker powers out and counters into a slam. Taker with a cover, and gets a two count. Taker and HBK sharing punches and chops. HBK with the upper hand, whips Taker, ut Taker counters with a whip of his own. HBK with the Springboard elbow. Inverted Atomic Drop, and a second one by HBK. HBK to the top rope, looking for the Macho Man elbow, but Taker is up. Michaels jumps, Taker grabs him and looks for the Chokeslam. HBK counters, looking for Sweet Chin Music, but Taker ducks. HBK grabs Taker’s leg, but Taker counters into the Devil’s Triangle! HBK manages to get to the ropes.

    Both men now on the outside, Taker bounces HBK off the steps. HBK now hanging off the ring apron. Taker on the apron, with a Leg Drop, but HBK gets out of the way. HBK with a Baseball Slide on ‘Taker. HBK to the top rope, jumps off with a Moonsault, but Taker dodges and HBK lands hard on the outside. The ref is checking on HBK. Taker sits up in the ring. Taker off the ropes, looking for a springboard over the top rope, but HBK pulls the Cameraman in front on himself, and Taker connects with the cameraman. Everyone is down on the outside. HBK, Taker, the Cameraman and the referee. HBK now back in the ring, but he rolls back outside to check on the referee, and pulls the ref back in the ring, as another ring comes out and checks on Taker. The referee starts the ten-count on Taker, who is still on the outside. Taker trying to get to his feet, the ref gets to nine, before Taker crawls back in the ring. HBK is livid, as he tunes up the band.  HBK goes but gets counters into a Chokeslam! Taker goes for the pin, but HBK kicks out at two!! Taker to his feet, sets HBK up for the Tombstone, but HBK counters, Taker counters Sweet Chin Music into a chokeslam, but HBK counters into Sweet Chin Music. HBK crawls for a cover, but Taker kicks out at two!! Both men down, HBK springs up. HBK goes to pick Taker up, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but HBK counters into a sunset flip, but Taker counters into the Last Ride! Taker connects with the Last Ride! Taker goes for the cover, and HBK kicks out at two!! Taker heads to the top rope, goes for an elbow, but HBK rolls out of the way. Both men down once again as the ref starts his ten-count. Both men starting to get to their feet. HBK charges, Taker throws him over the top rope, but HBK skins the cat, Taker catches him on the way back up and connects with the Tombstone!!! Taker goes for the cover and …. HBK kicks out at two again!!

    Taker drops the straps, picks HBK up, and goes for the Tombstone again, but HBK counters into a DDT. HBK crawling towards the turnbuckle, looking for the Macho Man elbow yet again, and this time he connects. HBK to his feet, and tunes up the band once again. HBK connects with Sweet Chin Music!! HBK with the cover and ….. Taker kicks out at two!! Both men down again, as the ref starts the ten-count.  Both men helping each other up, sharing punches and chops with each other. Taker knocks HBK down with a Boot. Taker looks for the Tombstone again, but HBK counters with more chops. Taker whips HBK into the ropes, Taker charges but HBK counters with a kick, possibly Sweet Chin Music. HBK climbing to the top, looks for a Moonsault, but Taker grabs him and counters into the Tombstone!! Taker goes for the cover and … gets the three!!

    YOUR WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER

    Can anybody say Match of the Year?

    An advertisement for the WWE Draft! LIVE in 8 days!

    Evander Holyfield at ringside.

    Preview for World Heavyweight Championship Edge vs Big Show vs John Cena

    MATCH SEVEN: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AND FOR THE LOVE OF VICKIE GUERRERO

    Edge (c) vs the Big Show vs John Cena

    John Cena clones everywhere!! They come out ot his old music. I thought one was bad enough, but this is ridiculous. All the Cena clones make a guard of honour for the real John Cena, with his current music.

    Lilian with the Champion announcing once again.

    The matcn begins. Cena, straight after Edge. Cena knocks Edge down with a Bulldog, and as Cena goes after Show. Show shoulders Cena down. Show hangs Edge up on the ropes, wishboning Edge. Show now in the corner with Edge. Cena from behind, but Show catches him with a Boot. Show now dominating Cena. Vickie Guerrero in a wheelchair at ringside, with Chavo. Cena trying to fight back against Show, but Show uses his power and throws Cena. Show with a boot, Cena counters, and throws Show over the top. Edge from behind, dropkicking the steps into Show’s legs, then Cena over the top rope onto Show. Edge now, with the upper hand, throws Cena into the ring.  Cena going for his finisher, but Edge counters with a DDT, goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at 2. Cena knocks Edge out, but Show back in the ring, hits a Slam on cena, and gets a two count. Cena throwing body shots to Show. Cena bounces off the rope, but Chavo grabs Cena and pulls him under the ring. Cena counters and gives Chavo the Attitude Adjustment. Cena back in the ring, and Show is tangled up in the ropes. Cena now after Edge, cena with some moves, and connects with the 5-Kunckle shuffle. Vickie on the apron, gets Cena’s attention, Edge goes for the Spear, but Cena moves and Edge spears Vickie. Vickie lands on Chavo, Cena with a roll-up, but Edge kicks out at 2.

    Show now untangled, and attacking both Edge and Cena. Show whips Cena into Edge in the corner, and splashes both. Show going for a chokeslam on both, Cena gets out, but Edge gets the Chokeslam. Cena going for the Attitude Adjustment, but Show counters with a right-hand, knocking Cena out. Show glances at the Spanish Announce Table, but Edge taks down Show to the outside. Edge moves the steps, and with a running start, jumps off the steps, and nails Show, knocking both men through the restraining wall. Edge now, tries to move Show, he can’t, so he focuses his attention to Cena. Throws Cena in the ring, goes for a cover and gets a 2! Edge now, looking for the spear. Edge charges, but Cena counters into the STF! Edge gets close to the ropes, but Cena pulls him back. Just as Edge is about totap, Show grabs Edge’s hand and pulls Edge to the ropes, to break up the submission. Show throws Cena to the outside, then heads to the second rope. Show going for a splash, but Edge rolls out of the way and Show crashes and burns. Cena going for a suplex on Show, he cant help him, but Edge helps and they both suplex Show. Now Edge and Cena, team up and they both Clothesline Show over the top rope. Edge then goes for a roll-up and gets a two on Cena. Edge goes for a move, but Cena counters into a BlockBuster. Cena up the top, Show from behind, pushes Cena and Edge hits Cena with the Spear! Edge goes for the cover, but Show pulls Edge off the pin. Edge now with a Sleeper hold on Show. Cena picks both men on his shoulders. Edge jumps off, but cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Show. Edge comes at Cena, but Cena gives Edge the Attitude Adjustment. Cena with the pin in Show, and the three.

    YOUR WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JOHN CENA!

    Cena heads into the crowd to celebrate with the fans.

    Ad for Wrestlemania XXVI, March 28, in Phoenix, AZ

    Legends of Wrestlemania sponsors WMXXV

    HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES INTRODUCED

    Terry and Dory Funk Jr., ‘Cowboy’ Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, ‘the Birdman’ Koko B. Ware, the Von Erich family (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin.

    Austin’s music hits, and he comes out again, this time on a 4X4, doing laps around the ring, the drives up the entrance way, only to reverse it back to the ring. Austin salutes the crowd with Beer showers in each corner. Austin then heads down to the announce area, and shouts J.R. a beer. Austin wear J.R.’s hat, and they both chug beers. Austin celebrates in the ring, farewells the fans, and drives off up the entrance. Only to salute the fans on the top of the ramp, and then drives off.

    Ad for Backlash, LIVE April 26.

    ATTENDANCE: 72,744

    Offical theme song : ‘War Machine’ by AC/DC

    Preview for WWE Championship. Triple H vs Randy Orton

    Triple H heads to the ring, as he runs into Vince and Shane McMahon. They look at each other, then Triple H passes.

    MATCH EIGHT: MAIN EVENT: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP AND FOR THE MCMAHONS REVENGE

    If Triple H gets counted out, or gets DQ’ed, then Triple H loses the Title.

    Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton

    Triple H’s entrance involves him smashing a mirror with a Sledgehammer. Again, another great entrance.

    Lilian with the Champion-style announcing for one last time.

    Cheers for Orton can be heard, as the match begins. Trips and Orton with a staredown. They go to lock-up, but Trips catches Orton with a tackle. Triple H with punches to Orton on one corner, and kicks in another corner. As the ref tells Triple H that he will DQ him, Orton hits the RKO on Triple H. Orton gets ready to kick H with the boot, but Trips moves out of the way, and connects with the Pedigree on Orton. Both men down, and roll to the outside. Trips catches Orton with a running elbow. Trips pours some water over hsi head as Orton heads to the ring. Tripls now with punches to Orton in the ring, they both head out, but Orton tries to get the upper hand. Orton tries to whip Trips into the ring post, but Trips counters and whips Orton into the post. Both men in the ring, Orton wants Trips to ‘wait’ but trips doesnt abide and continues the attack on Orton. Knees to the head of Orton, then a right hand. Trips off the ropes with another running elbow to Orton. Trips hits Orton again, and Orton heads outside. Trips follows and goes on the attack, but Orton counters and whips Triple H into the ring steps. Orton now, whip another whip, this time, sending Trips over the barricade and into the crowd. Orton staring at HHH, until he rolls back into the ring, and lets the ref start the ten count on HHH. Trips gets back into the ring at 7, and Orton continues the assault. Orton with kick after kick to trips, then kicks Triple H low. Orton then, drives a knee into the head of HHH. Orton with a kick, and the cover, but HHH kicks out at 2. Orton now in the mount position laying right hands into HHH. Orton to a kick to the underarm of HHH, then connects with a Sleeper Hold, but HHH counters into a back drop. Both men back up, and Orton connects with a slam. Orton with the cover, and trips kicks out at 2. It’s Randy Orton and the Chinlock of Doom! time, as HHH tries to fight out of it. HHH to his feet, breaks it up, but Orton fights back with punches in the corner. Now Randy and Trips sharing punches, with Trips getting the upper hand. Orton with the whip to the ropes, H counters and hits a knee. Trips connects with the Face Buster, goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters and catapults H into the turnbuckle. Trips comes back, counters and gets a two count.

    H now places Orton on the top rope. Orton tries to fight back, and drops HHH head first on the top turnbuckle. Trips down, Orton on the second rope, he jumps but HHH gets his foot up. H atacks, Orton counters, gets a 2 count. Orton goes for the RKO but H counters, H with a Roll-up and another 2. HHH connects the Spinebuster. H goes for the Pedigree again, but orton counters. Connects with the Inverted BackBreaker and gets a 2 count. Orton attacks, H counters with an elbow. H off the rope, but Orton counters with a Dropkick. Orton now up, stalking Triple H. Orton setting up for the punt, but HHH grabs the leg. Orton tries to fight out, but HHH, flips Orton over the ropes and onto the floor. H and Orton now brawling on the outside, H bangs Orton’s head off the Spanish Table. H with a monitor, wanting to hit Orton with it, but the ref tells him he will DQ him, so he doesnt do it. H throws Orton on the Spanish table. Sets Orton up for the Pedigree, but Orton counters, and flips HHH over his head, and onto the other table. Orton looking to attack HHH, and hooks him up for a DDT. Orton DDT’s HHH off the table and onto the floor. Orton then crawls into the ring, and the ref starts to count Triple H out. The ref gets to 9, before Triple H can make his way back in. Orton now stomping HHH, several times. Orton goes to pick HHH up, sits him in the corner, and continues to lay punch after punch. Now Orton, this time with kicks in the corner and a choke. HHH trying to sit up, and fires back with right hands, but Orton counters, and throws HHH into the referee, knocking the referee down, then hitting the RKO on Triple H. Orton rolls under the ring, and grabs a Sledgehammer. Orton tries to enter the ring, but Triple H connects with a Punt, knocking Orton down, and giving Triple H access to the Sledgehammer. Triple H nails Randy Orton with the Sledgehammer. HHH then throws the Sledgehammer out of the ring, then starts attacking Orton with right hands. HHH then picks Randy Orton up and hits the Pedigree! Trips goes for the cover and gets the three.

    YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: TRIPLE H

    Triple H celebrates in the ring, the fireworks go off, and the recap of Wrestlemania 25 begins.

    As the Wrestlemania recap video plays, I will say thank you to all those involved at BoredWrestlingFan.com, to not only give me the chance to post a weekly column (which btw, can be seen, each and every Wednesday),  but to allow me the chance to present, to you, Wrestlemania 25 LIVE! This has been Wrestlemania 25, LIVE in real-time. I have been the one they call “Legend Killer’, stay tuned for various WrestleMania review shows throughout the week, and for my next column on Wednesday.

  7. This was the ppv show from Saturday afternoon at the George R. Brown Convention Center. Bell time was 2 pm, in order to avoid any conflict with the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. THIS, Vince, is how a classy person in charge of a wrestling company behaves. Generally speaking, the Friday night show is the weaker of the two on an ROH weekend. This was absolutely not true this time. By no means was the Saturday show weak, not even a little bit. It just had quite a lot to live up to after the Friday night show set the bar so high. Saturday’s show did not disappoint.

    Pre-show matches:

    “The Mind of Wrestling” J.T. Lamotta and Darin Childs vs. “Mean” Mike Dell and Vexx (didn’t catch his first name): Lamotta reverses a fallaway suplex into a roll-up on Dell for the win.

    Dirty Ernie Osiris vs. Grizzly Redwood: More chants of “Mini Necro” for Osiris. Osiris gets the pin on Grizzly after hitting him with Redwood’s own log behind the referee’s back.

    Andy Ridge, Alex “Sugarfoot” Payne, & Bobby Dempsey vs. Don Juan, Andy Duncan, & Spiro: Between Dempsey and Sugarfoot, there was much chanting from the audience. More “Shannon Moore” heckling for Andy Duncan. Bobby Dempsey scores the win for his team by hitting the reviled Andy Duncan with a Death Valley Driver.

    Main Show Matches:

    Ace Steel vs. Colt Cabana: Steel entered first. When Cabana came out, the place went berserk. I still want Colt Cabana’s new entrance music, if anyone can help with that. Ace tries to shake hands, and the audience starts yelling, “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers hug!” We got our way, and they hugged. Chants of “Check the top rope!” kick in (see the review of the Friday night show for an explanation), and they actually did! They went to all four corners and checked the top rope on all sides. Ace asked if that was all, did they need to check anything else. We said no. Ace took a camera from a ringside photographer and looked it over before giving it back and continuing with the match. Awesome! The match was really good, with Cabana goofing it up and Steel getting progressively more annoyed with him because of it, and finally exploding and hitting him. It got serious for a bit, and Colt got the win with a reverse Boston Crab. They made up afterwards. Sort of.

    Rhett Titus vs. Bushwhacker Luke: Titus gave away TWO room keys during his entrance this time. It would be funny if they were to different rooms, and he had to go back and forth. I smell a Video Wire! Titus scores the win by grabbing the tights, and bails before Bushwhacker Luke can come after him.

    Kevin Steen, El Generico, Jay Briscoe, & Magno vs. Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, Chris Hero, & Incognito (8-man Tag Team Grudge Match): Eddie Edwards kind of looks like Alex Shelley. Part of it might be the hair. Outstanding match, with no technical difficulties this time. Tremendous action, with Jay Briscoe hitting an assisted spike Jay Driller (with help from Magno) on Chris Hero to score the win for his team. For a heel, Chris Hero is insanely over, with chants of “Chris is awesome!” throughout.

    Jimmy Jacobs vs. Necro Butcher (No Disqualification War): I don’t care how cynical and smarky you are. If you have any legitimate concern in your soul for the well-being of another person, this was a scary match to watch. It told a great story, and was the epitome of what a No Disqualification War should be. It also scared the hell out of me. It’s all well and good to tell yourself that “it’s only a wrestling match” and that “it’s not real,” but when you’re there watching it unfold in front of you, you know better. In a way, this is a good thing, because that’s precisely the kind of reaction a match of this sort should get. The action went to the very top of the stadium-style general admission seating, with Necro teasing throwing Jacobs over the very top down to the floor behind it. Jacobs opened up Necro with a screwdriver. Necro nailed Jacobs with several stiff chair shots to the head. As much of a bloody mess as Necro was by the end, Jacobs was even worse. Necro gets the win with a Tiger Driver, and the ending sequence really has to be seen to be appreciated. I really like Jimmy Jacobs, and I hope he’s ok for real.

    Intermission. A crew guy cleaned up all the blood with spray cans of Lysol.

    Nigel McGuinness comes out in street clothes to address the audience. The man was clearly hurting. He spoke about his injuries, and how he had first thought to come out and apologize for losing the title and not being in the ring tonight, but after thinking about the past 17 months, he knew that he didn’t owe anybody anything. The cheers were deafening. Claudio Castagnoli came out, with his full entrance. He tells Nigel that it was supposed to be Europe versus America. Nigel promises that it will be Europe versus America, just not tonight, and that he knows that Claudio will do great in the match tonight. Claudio attacks Nigel when the former champ’s back is turned, and Nigel writhes in pain on the floor. Brent Albright rushes out to make the save and attacks Claudio. The scheduled tag team match between these guys and Blue Demon Jr. is now a three-way dance.

    Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright vs. Blue Demon Jr. : Solid action, with Albright focusing on Claudio the whole time. Nigel interferes against Claudio at one point, but eventually makes his way to the back. Brent Albright scores the win with a half-Nelson suplex on Claudio.

    Alex Koslov vs. Roderick Strong: Again, I repeat. Roderick Strong is the Messiah of the Backbreaker and God of the Chop. Ric Flair has been replaced in that respect. Some people who apparently like to ruin shows and show off what they read on the internet started a chant of “You’re not Russian!” at Koslov, but, thankfully, it did not catch on. Great action and very high impact stuff from both guys. Koslov tapped out to the Strong Hold, and Roddy got the win. Koslov was rewarded with loud chants of “Please come back!”

    D-Lo Brown vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Erick Stevens vs. Jerry Lynn (Four Corner Survival Match for the ROH World Title): Danielson and Lynn were the favorites here. Chants of “Anyone but D-Lo!” were pretty funny. Good action from everyone, but good kicked up to great when Danielson and Lynn got in the ring. Lynn hit Stevens with a Cradle Piledriver to retain the ROH World Title.

    Austin Aries and Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Tyler Black and KENTA (Dream Partner Tag Team Match): Wow! All that can be said about this match is WOW!!! Aries was in full chickenshit heel mode, covering up Nakajima’s ears when the audience chanted “Nakajima!” He covered his own ears when anyone chanted “Austin Aries!” He also dodged getting in the ring with KENTA even more than getting in the ring with Tyler Black. KENTA is revered with god-like adoration, and rightly so. When KENTA and Nakajima got to kicking the living hell out of each other, I think I hurt something. Tyler Black scores the win for his team by pinning Austin Aries with God’s Last Gift.

    Now that I’ve been completely spoiled on the greatest wrestling on the planet, I’m off to Wrestlemania to soak in some sports entertainment. I’ll have something up for that tomorrow early, and be sure to check back in with us here at boredwrestlingfan.com for other Wrestlemania-related musings today and tomorrow.

    Peace out,
    Drowgoddess

  8. This is the first chance I’ve had at a computer since Thursday. There were no “Impact” Impressions this week, and my apologies for that, but frankly, I was so angry at this past week’s show that, if I had to miss one, that was the one to miss.

    I live just outside of Houston, Texas, and have been partaking of the glorious wrestling goodness of the weekend. Friday night, I attended Ring of Honor’s “Supercard of Honor IV.” A series of words appearing on a screen cannot and will not do justice to the magnificence that was this show. Awesome, in the original sense of inspiring reverence to the point of fear, is the only word that even vaguely approaches what this show was like. The second, the very second, that this dvd comes out, BUY IT!!!!! Everyone must see this show, by any means necessary. If you do not own this dvd the instant that it is made available to the public, or manage to see whatever clips of it show up on a Video Wire, you are not a wrestling fan, you have no soul whatsoever, and are unworthy to draw breath on my planet. This is less of a review and more of a brief impression commentary. When you check out the show for yourselves, you’ll see why it’s pointless to try to capture it in words.

    The show was held at the George R. Brown Convention Center, which is a huge convention hall. Up on the third floor, one felt as if one had accidentally wandered into some industrial action movie. The set-up was great, and the general admission area was done stadium-style, so there really wasn’t a bad seat in the place. I heard estimates of between 1800 and 2000, but I’ll have to get back to you on that. Very much an international audience. I personally talked to people from Spain, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, and Canada. Some people had actually come to see Ring of Honor, and weren’t going to Wrestlemania.

    Pre-Show matches:

    Dirty Ernie Osiris and Ninja Brown vs. Alex “Sugarfoot” Payne and Andy Ridge: Ernie panhandled the crowd on his way in. Chants of “Mini Necro” weren’t undeserved. He kind of looks like him. Sugarfoot is so over everywhere! I like the guy, but I don’t see why he’s THAT popular. Interesting. A fun opening match, with Ninja Brown getting pinned by Sugarfoot for the win. Andy Ridge is pretty good too. I suppose Ninja Brown has since been forced to commit seppukku.

    Don Juan and Andy Duncan vs. Grizzly Redwood and Bushwhacker Luke: Grizzly’s partner was a total surprise. They actually meshed pretty well, and it was fun. Lots of people were yelling at Andy Duncan with comments like, “Shannon Moore, you’ve really let yourself go!” He did rather resemble a porky Shannon Moore, so it was fair. Grizzly and Luke get the win.

    Main Show Matches:

    Rhett Titus vs. Erick Stevens: Rhett Titus has the greatest ring entrance ever. He bumps and grinds all the way to the ring, picks out a chick at ringside, puts a plastic card hotel room key in his mouth, makes her take it from him with her mouth, and makes her kiss him on the cheek. It’s truly grand, and I don’t see how anyone doesn’t love to watch this guy perform. Erick Stevens was really over. Stevens gets the win with a nasty-looking lariat.

    Kevin Steen, Jay Briscoe, & Magno vs. Chris Hero, Eddie Edwards, & Incognito (6-man Tag Team Match): This match hadn’t been going on for very long when the top rope came down. A piece of metal hardware attaching the rope to the top turnbuckle snapped. It sounded like a gunshot. In a beautiful illustration of why you have can’t script every move and word and thought of every wrestler, all six guys kept going and improvised and acted like they didn’t even notice. Some moves came off the second rope instead of the top, the two luchadores actually climbed on top of the ring posts and jumped off, and the match in general wasn’t affected at all. Imagine if such a thing had happened at Wrestlemania. Yeah. The action was tremendous, and both teams worked together extremely well. Chris Hero hits a running elbow strike on Magno to get the win for his team.

    Side note: After the match ended, several crew guys and Grizzly Redwood came running out and made repairs. We had brought a cake to the show. While buying streamers, my real brother asks my brother from another mother, “Should we get a birthday cake too?” My brother from another mother replies, “I can’t think of a reason why not.” So we brought this big sheet cake that said “Happy Birthday” on top. While the ring was being repaired, we thought we’d give the audience something else to do besides listen to the stupid smarky people who were chanting at the ring crew, and the cake was passed around like a joint through the audience. Even the ref came over and acted like he was going to take it away, then took some frosting and walked off. There were chants of “Next World Cake! Next World Cake!” from one side. Even chants of “Let’s go Cake Guy!” started up. A completely random and nonsensical moment, but more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

    Roderick Strong vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima: I know that as a wrestling fan, I am contractually obligated to worship Ric Flair as the master of the chop, but that title has now officially been relinquished to Roderick Strong. Jeebus! Roddy gets the win in a great match.

    Bobby Dempsey came out to fight in a “Sweet and Sour Challenge Match.” His opponent? Kamala, the Ugandan Giant! With Kim Chee! The match never actually happens, though. Bobby tears off his shirt to show the same paintings on his chest and belly that Kamala has, and the two slap their bellies together. Shane Hagadorn has a problem with this, and hits Kim Chee, and Kamala and Dempsey team up to take out Hagadorn, then leave together with Kim Chee. Fun!

    El Generico vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright vs. Blue Demon Jr. (Four Corner Survival Match): Claudio’s new music, robe, and entrance are grand! Albright didn’t wait for his entrance, he rushed the ring and attacked Claudio. Solid action all around, and some fun bits between Generico and Blue Demon. Claudio gets the win by rolling up Brent Albright, then bails before Albright can attack him.

    Bryan Danielson vs. Alex Koslov: Danielson was smiling and laughing and just having a good time the who night. Koslov made a very strong showing, though no one thought he was going to win. Seeing him in ROH would be great. Danielson gets the win when Koslov taps to the Cattle Mutilation.

    Intermission.

    Colt Cabana vs. D-Lo Brown: If anyone reading this review knows where I can get a copy of Colt Cabana’s new entrance music (Boom Boom Colt Cabana), please let me know at once. I must have that song. Needless to say, Colt was tremendously over. D-Lo gets the win by using a foreign object to hit Cabana. Good match.

    KENTA vs. Davey Richards (GHC Jr. Heavyweight Title Match): Sweet. Mother. Of. God. This was the match of the night. KENTA was over like mad, and Davey Richards was absolutely on fire. Chants of “This is wrestling!” and “Fuck Wrestlemania!” were heard throughout. Super stiff kicks and strikes from both guys. KENTA finally gets the pin after a GTS and retains his title. Davey Richards grabbed the mic and said, “THAT is what Ring of Honor is all about!” and threw the mic down and left. If this match doesn’t blow your mind when you see it, you didn’t have one to begin with. If this had been the only match, it would have been worth the ticket price.

    Tyler Black & the Necro Butcher vs. Jimmy Jacobs & Austin Aries (Grudge Tag Team Match): Sleazy porn star mustache chickenshit heel Austin Aries is great. I still want to cheer him, but I won’t. He actually covers his ears when people chant his name. Very solid match, with Aries hitting Black with a brainbuster for the win. Aries and Jacobs fought among themselves quite a bit.

    Nigel McGuinness vs. Jerry Lynn (ROH World Title Match): People can claim that they knew that Nigel was dropping the belt to Jerry Lynn tonight due to injury all that they like. It isn’t always about the result, it’s about how you get there. This match was outstanding in the story that it told and the level of raw emotion involved. The false finishes in this match must be seen to be believed. Nigel basically fought without using his arms much at all, and he almost got the pin several times. Lynn used the Cradle Piledriver more than once to finally get the win. When the bell rang, several big, muscular guys sitting behind me jumped up and down and hugged each other, shouting and hurrahing. Huge chants of “Thank you, Nigel” started up almost immediately. Jerry Lynn is the new (and 11th) Ring of Honor World Champion.

    I’ll try to get a write-up of the Saturday night ROH show, the “Take No Prisoners” ppv, before I head out to Wrestlemania itself.

    Peace out,
    Drowgoddess



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