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Ahoy, mateys!

This week, your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess must provide you with an abbreviated version of this week’s show. Real-timing wasn’t really possible last night, as I had company and stir-fry. Yummy! In any case, here’s how the go-home show for Sunday’s “Victory Road” ppv went down:

Hey everybody!  Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week.  I had some computer troubles.  But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business.  For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet.  This week, Rob Zombie hosts!!  Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon?  What about this new GM?  Who the hell is he… or she?!

Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.

We start off RAW with no theme music.  We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight.  Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not.  The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...

Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted.  He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here.  Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship.  He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots.  No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd.  Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again.  Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that.  He came out here to ask for help.  Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight.  Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now.  They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.

However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email.  He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail!  Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated.  However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”

Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager.  He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude.  Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy.  Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!

The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email.  None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means.  This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.

Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking.  Sorry to disappoint some of you).  He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription.  He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org.  He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it.  The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time.  You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania.  He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate.  Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there.  In the ring, the cage starts to lower.  The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.

<COMMERCIAL>

Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs

As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out.  They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus.  Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals.  He says not to fire them because that’s too easy.  He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper.  And that’s the Truth.

<COMMERCIAL>

Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner

Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring.  Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.

Vladimir Kozlov Wins!

Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down.  He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino.  Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal.  Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus.  Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him.  If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.

<COMMERCIAL>

Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!

Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie!  He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host!  Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank.  He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.

Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme.  Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight.  He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it.  He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it.  Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?

<Video Package: WrestleMania 21, 2005: Edge wins Money in the Bank. 10 Months Later, Revolution 2006: Edge comes out to cash in Money in the Bank & wins WWE Championship against Cena>

Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.

The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!  Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.

Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus

<COMMERCIAL>

WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after.  The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him.  Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT.  He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two.  Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover.  Henry kicks out at two again.  Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner.  As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one.  Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope.  Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.

Sheamus wins!

Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus.  He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling.  Tarver says it goes both ways.  They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus.  Besides, Nexus can still make an impact.  To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him.  Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.

Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

<COMMERCIAL>

“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out.  Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Life of Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat”>

Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something.  Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career.  They all say some really graet things about Ricky.  When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out.  They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring.  Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.

<COMMERCIAL>

Reminder!  Nexus just attacked the legends!  Another reminder!  The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends!  Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.

<COMMERCIAL>

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres

Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews.  Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah…  I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!

Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

<COMMERCIAL>

Reminder!  Last week, Nexus attacked Vince!  Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers!  Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.

Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!

You think you know me…

Break the walls down!!

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

*Airplane noises*

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

<COMMERCIAL>

DiBiase and Morrison start it off.  DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down.  He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.

Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha  punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring.  A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet.  Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.

Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two.  He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face.  Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two.  Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face.  Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne.  Miz tags in Jericho.

Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next.  Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in.  Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.

Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine.  He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock.  Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.

Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out.  Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out.  He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.

<COMMERCIAL>

During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury.  Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase.  Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison.  Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.

Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times.  Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner.  Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.

DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in.  When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after.  DiBiase then tags in Edge.

Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face.  He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way.  Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head.  Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.

Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks.  He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him.  Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down.  Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker.  Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy.  Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win

After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind.  He also brings in a ladder.  Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well.  John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward.  Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring.  Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho.  Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale.  With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it.  Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes.  Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.

Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it.  Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.

It’s time for the only hour of pro wrestling on Monday nights, ROH!

Dolph Ziggler def. JTG

This was a pretty good match and a good way to cap off Superstars.

Christian def. Zack Ryder

The ECW Champ got the win in this very entertaining match.  Ryder really looks like a good prospect.

Jack Swagger def. Santino Marella

Swagger picked up his very first televised win of 2010.

Welcome everybody to the critically acclaimed BWF Roundtable.  I am your host as tonight we talk about the 2010 Royal Rumble.  Joining me tonight are BWF authors Tharvey1 and ThinkSoJoE, as well as message board and Roundtable regular RYMAN to give everyone their picks for the Royal Rumble.  Well without further ado, lets get this show on the road:

RAW kicks off, and it’s host is a World Champion from Pittsburgh – but it’s not Kurt Angle. Ben Roelithsberger comes out to some boos, saying he knows they’ve got Eagles fans in the house, but that they’ve also got Steelers fans, but tonight we’re all WWE fans. He says he’s got a surprise. It’s the Diva Bowl. A team of face Divas show up in Steelers jerseys, followed by a team of heel divas in white shirts, followed by Gail Kim in a referee outfit. Great. The one who can actually wrestle is the referee.

Diva Bowl

What the hell is this crap?  At least we’re getting it out of the way early.  The faces won when Mickie James pinned Alicia Fox.

The face Divas are still standing in the ring when the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Orton says that last night he defeated John Cena and became a 6 time WWE Champion.  The people say he uses shortcuts, needs backup, and flat out cheats.  When last night did any of that happen?  He and John Cena walked in to Hell in a Cell, and Orton beat him.  End of story.  He’s willing to bet that Cena will interrupt him and ask for a rematch.  Orton tells Cena to do what he thinks he needs to do.  Orton says he knows exactly what he’ll say to Cena.  The fans chant Cena’s name and…

SHABADOO!  Your time is up my time is now…

The former champ is here, and he runs down to the ring.  Orton says that Cena looks awful excited, and he thinks he knows why.  Orton says he won’t get a rematch tonight.  Cena’s look turns to that of disappointment.  Cena says Orton just told the WWE Universe that he doesn’t give a damn about them.  He’s a WWE Superstar who strives to be the best, so what Cena’s here to do is congratulate Orton on his win last night.  Cena says he can tell us how brutal Hell In A Cell was, but the interesting thing is that there was something special.  Something Cena noticed before, during, and after the match.  He noticed over 16,000 members of the WWE Universe standing the whole time.  There were people cheering for Cena.  There were people cheering for Orton.  John Cena and Randy Orton has become the rivalry.  Whether a singles match, triple threat, I quit, or Hell In A Cell, it’s simply amazing.  Cena would like to do it one more time, and the people seem to agree.  He cares about the WWE Universe and wants to give them a match.  Not just any match, the match.  The match of matches – an Iron Man match.  Right, like Cena can go for 60 minutes and keep a crowd into it.  Anyways, Cena says that after the iron man match, there will be no more rematches.  Orton says he sees what Cena’s doing.  If Cena wins, he don’t get a rematch.  He says he agrees that we need to end this, but we’ll do it Orton’s way.  If Cena wins he gets the title, if Orton wins, Cena is gone from RAW.  He can go to SmackDown, he can go to ECW, Orton doesn’t care.  He just wants him off of RAW.  Cena confirms that’s what Orton wants and says he’ll do it.  Orton says that’s not all he wants.  No DQ, no count out, and on his terms.  Cena asks that if that means they can use whatever they want and turn this into the biggest brawl of all time.  Orton says that’s exactly what he’s saying.  Take it or leave it.  Cena says 60 minutes, anything goes, and if he loses he leaves RAW.  Cena says he’s on.  The two shake hands, and we’re set to finally end this rivalry.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Somebody has a sign in the crowd with a picture of a slobbering Daffy Duck that says “JACK THWAGGER” on it.  Somebody’s been reading Bored Wrestling Fan.  Anyways, Swagger’s here.  He says he looks and smells like a winner, because he is a winner.  FYI, he didn’t get pinned last night, and going forth, he will not lose.  For the rest of the year, he promises that he will go undefeated.  He’s the All American American, Jack Swagger, and he approves this message.  Primo’s shitty music starts, and so does the Aldo Montoya pyro, and we confirm that the Cena/Orton match won’t be tonight, it will be at the Bragging Rights PPV.  Please, for the love of insert supreme being here, let Cena lose so I don’t have to see him the next night in Buffalo.

Jack Swagger vs. Primo

Swagger’s prophecy starts off on the right foot as he easily defeats Primo following a gutwrench powerbomb.

Chris Jericho and The Big Show are here.  We’ll hear from the Tag Team Champions later on tonight.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Backstage, the Divas are arguing when referee Santino blows the whistle.  He calls encroachment on #23 on the defense.  Mickie asks what the hell he’s talking about.  He says he’s trying to get into the football spirit, and asks Mickie and Alicia to kiss and make up.  Alicia slaps Santino and the Divas start brawling again.

The Miz interrupts Ben Roethlisberger and complains about Swagger insinuating that The Miz lost last night.  Big Ben asks what happened.  Miz admits to getting pin.  The Miz says that being awesome isn’t a catch phrase.  He asks for a shot at Kofi Kingston tonight.  After all, it’s his birthday week.  Ben says he can do this.  He makes the match, but says there’s a stipulation.  If Miz loses, he gets in the middle of the ring, takes the microphone, and tells everybody that “I’m The Miz, and I’m Awful.”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Last week, Chavo punched Chris Masters in the face for hurting Hornswoggle for some reason. Chavito is here, teaming with The Masterpiece again. Their opponents are the team of MVP and Mark Henry. Shouldn’t MVP be WWE Champion by now?

MVP & Mark Henry vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters

Henry and MVP pick up the win, but Henry appears to have injured his leg.

After the match, Masters asks Chavo what happened. He gets in Guerrero’s face, and Guerrero shoves him. Masters gets Guerrero in the Master Lock, but Hornswoggle comes to Chavo’s rescue. Chavo drops Masters with a DDT, and then Hornswoggle gives Chavo a DX style crotch chop.

Ben Roethlisberger is on his way to the ring.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Roethlisberger makes his way out to the ring – and he barely gets a sentence out when…

WELL… WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW – BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

Show wants to know whey they call him Big Ben. How big can his big offensive line be compared to The Big Show. Jericho says they’re probably not as big as he is. Roethlisberger invites them out. The Steelers O-line make their way to the ring. Jericho asks if they’re supposed to be intimidated. He says this isn’t a football field, it’s the WWE ring. JeriShow don’t wear helmets or pads, or take time off for turf toe. He suggests the Steelers get a huddle going and figure out a strategy, because Jericho and The Big Show are the best team in sports. The Steelers huddle and line up at the line of scrimmage. The Big Show prepares to go at them, but thinks better of it…

BREAK IT DOWN!

DX are here for some reason. Jericho says he should’ve expected a potential Sportscenter moment ruined by two miscreants who hare just here to shill their merchandise (which Jericho shills in the meantime). Triple H says he just wanted to tell Jericho how nice his hair looks. Jericho says “really?” Triple H says hell no, his hair looks ridiculous. HBK says he’s tired of Jericho running his mouth about how many great tag teams they’ve faced. There’s one they haven’t faced. Show asks if that’s some kind of challenge. HBK says he’s in pain, but yeah, it’s a challenge. Show suggests he goes home and nurses his wounds, because DX doesn’t want a part of JeriShow. Jericho says HBK isn’t worthy. DX don’t deserve to face The Big Show and Chris Jericho. Roethlisberger says that tonight, JeriShow will face DX. He says if they’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for you… The Steelers and DX do the crotch chops and set off the pyro.

Up next, it’s The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston for the WWE United States Championship

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kofi Kingston is here, and he’s got his United States Championship with him. His opponent is from Cleveland Ohio, and if he loses, he has to announce that he’s The Miz, and He’s Awful.

The Miz def. Kofi Kingston to become the new United States Champion

After a hell of a match, The Miz finally hits the Skull Crushing Finale and becomes the NEW United States Heavyweight Champion!

After the match, he takes the microphone and he says that we’re looking at the NEW United States Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Earlier Tonight: John Cena and Randy Orton set the stipulations for their No Disqualification Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.

Backstage, Hornswoggle is talking to Ben Roethlisberger when Santino comes in and complains about being slapped and mauled by the Divas. He calls him Ben Surfandturfer. Santino tries to pronounce Roethlisberger’s name, even calling him “Ben Bralesswonder.” Hornswoggle slaps Santino, who then manages to say Roethlisberger.

The Big Show and Chris Jericho are walking backstage. That means, they’re next!

You can help out the Ben Roethlisberger Foundation by going to bigben7.com/foundation.aspx

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood are the guest hostesses next week. One of them is featured in WWE Magazine this month (the one with DX on the cover) as the Sexy Celebrity Super Fan of the month, and the article asks her about her experience guest hosting RAW.

The Unified Tag Team Champions make their way out, and then…

Are You Ready?

DX head to the ring. They don’t bother to do their little spiel, it’s all business for the HeartBreak Kid and The Game tonight.

DX def. JeriShow

NOTE: As you guys know by now, I leave for work before the end of RAW.  This week we had some technical difficulties with the site, so I didn’t bother to get somebody to finish the review for me.  I have not seen this match, so the following is my knowledge of the main event based on other reviews I’ve read.  This won’t be a weekly thing, just this week due to the technical problems.

JeriShow focused on DX’s injuries from last night’s Hell In A Cell match, but DX held their own.  Jericho attempted to leave, but was stopped at the top of the ramp by the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line.  Jericho was forced back into the ring and ate Sweet Chin Music, leading to the DX victory.

My Thoughts: “Please let Orton win, please let Orton win, please let Orton win.”  Those are my thoughts.  Bragging Rights is Sunday, October 25th.  On October 26th, I’ll be in attendance at RAW.  If Orton wins, Cena’s gone from RAW.  I don’t know why I’m so hell bent on not seeing John Cena at RAW.  I think I’m just frustrated with the direction of his character from the time he won the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 21.  I was a huge Cena mark when I saw him at WrestleMania XIX in Seattle and the night he turned face on SmackDown in Buffalo.  I’m just bored with him now.  WWE pushes him like crazy despite the fact that it’s obvious a lot of fans hate him.  I understand why though – he sells a lot of merchandise and is probably the closest thing they have to a mainstream star right now, the Hulk Hogan of this generation.  For what it’s worth, the dark main event that has been advertised for RAW the day after Bragging Rights is DX and Cena against Orton and Legacy.

Now, the future.  The Miz and John Morrison called themselves the greatest tag team of the 21st Century (that’s a hint for those of you doing the “guess the match” thing in the back of this month’s WWE Magazine, BTW), and both hold the secondary titles on their respective brands now, with JoMo the Intercontinental Champion and The Miz as the United States Champion.  These two guys are going to be HUGE in the future.  Of course, I probably would’ve said that two years ago about MVP, but we see where he is.  Teaming with Mark Henry to face Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters.

DX has been the focal point of RAW and the last three PPVs.  Nevermind that Randy Orton and John Cena have traded the WWE Championship back and forth in what could be considered epic battles through those last three events.  For these guys to get top billing over the guys wrestling for the championship leads me to believe that one of them maybe knows somebody in power in the WWE.  Oh look, I can make subtle jokes about who Triple H is married to too!

That’s it for RAW this week, folks.  I just want to let you guys know of a couple of things we’ve got going on around here in the near future.  First, I’m working on a new BWF Skin that should be available sometime in the next couple of days.  I’m also planning on dropping the “Grungy” and “BlueMania 25″ themes.  I’m not happy with them, and in the case of “Grungy,” it’s hard to expand upon when we add new things.  I’m also planning on doing an Eddie Guerrero tribute column next month on the four year anniversary of his death.  I’d like to include the thoughts of our readers, so get those to us in one of three ways – send them in a PM to ThinkSoJoE on the BWF Network Forums, tweet them to @BrdWrstlngFn, or e-mail them to GuerreroTribute@boredwrestlingfan.com.

Here we go again, same old sh*t again with another week gone by and quite a few random things happening this week in the world as I see it.  Well without further interruption, let’s get this show on the road:

Oh yeah…Superstars time!

Match 1:  Chris Masters vs Santino

Santino got a huge pop when he came out.  Masters gets the win with the Masterlock.  Santino is pure gold though. 

Match 2:  Christian vs Paul Burchill

Christian is the man!  Respect the champ, Peeps!!!!  Zack Ryder is doing guest commentary.  Apparently Ryder has tanned everyday this week.  He also sent out a shoutout to his girlfriend…xoxo.  Captain Charisma gets the win via the Unprettier.  I know its called the Killswitch now, but it will always be the Unprettier to me.

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton.  He says he will make John Cena suffer at HIAC and become WWE Champ yet again.

Main Event:  Dolph Ziggler vs Finlay

Mr. Ziggles gets the win after an eye rake and his Zig Zag. 

Thats it for this week.  Check out next week.  PEACE OUT!!

Legend Killer: This is the one they call ‘Legend Killer’ alongside Drowgoddess for the Extreme Rules Post-PPV recap

Drowgoddess: This is the one they call Drowgoddess alongside the notorious Legend Killer. Let’s recap this thing!

Legend Killer: First of all, we had the United States Championship match, where Kofi Kingston retained the title against William Regal, Matt Hardy and MVP

Now, to be honest, I didnt see much of this match, due to technical reasons

Drowgoddess: Kofi Kingston was certainly a popular choice with the fans, and for the first t ime in a long time, there doesn’t seem to be any grudge between the previous and current champs.

The focus was just on two guys who want to be the champ.

Sometimes, that’s all you really need.

Legend Killer: Did you really see the need for William Regal and Matt Hardy to be involved in the match?

Personally, I believe that they were there just to make up numbers, as they seemed to be as involved in this match as they were in the build-up to the Vickie/Santina Hog Pen match.

Drowgoddess: Agreed. Since Kofi just won the title off of MVP, perhaps a rematch that quickly might not have seemed enough. Regal and MVP have certainly had their differences, as have HArdy and MVP.

The history between all the guys was there.

Legend Killer: Was Kofi the deserved winner?

Drowgoddess: I think so. MVP is definitely the guy who is at the breakout point. He could very possibly get in the main event picture soon. HE’s the complete package, and he has huge fan support.

That being said, Kofi is the guy to step up to the place where MVP was at.

Kofi has tremendous athleticism, more charisma than half the roster, and a connection with the fans.

He’s exactly the kind of guy who should be wearing that belt now.

Legend Killer: He reminds me a bit of Shelton Benjamin

but I’ve never heard Kofi on the mic

Drowgoddess: He’s more conversational and comfortable in the little bit of backstage talking that I’ve heard from him, but he hasn’t had much mic time. Maybe now he will, and we can see what he’s like.

Legend Killer: As long as he doesnt put people to sleep, or make their ears bleed, he should be fine.

Drowgoddess: I think he’ll be ok, then.

Legend Killer: Next on the card was the Intercontinental Championship, where Chris Jericho not onlt captured the title for a record ninth time, but he also claimed the mask of Mysterio

Drowgoddess: Jericho has captured luchedor masks in the past, like Juventud Guerrera’s.

I wasn’t crazy about this outcome, though I’m taking a “wait and see” attitude because Jericho is so amazing.

Legend Killer: How long will it be before Rey Mysterio wrestles without a mask on WWE TV?

I’m looking at it, to be as early as SummerSlam

Drowgoddess: I hope he doesn’t. Part of his massive appeal to kids and to the Hispanic market is that mask. He’s a superhero. Seeing his face will kill that, even though it has been done before in WCW.

I know that’s no realistic, considering that Jericho took the mask, but Rey has a different mask almost every night. It’s not like his only one was stolen.

Legend Killer: maybe he comes out on Smackdown! with a paper bag on his head

Drowgoddess: Followed by The BEautiful People?

Legend Killer: quite possibly, that would surely be a swerve nobody saw coming

Drowgoddess: It’s a license to print money!

I know that the IC title is supposed to be the #2 guy in the company, but Jericho winning it is almost a step back. A 9-time champ is great, and he should have a belt, but he’s been at th etop before. This almost seems like something he doesn’t really need.

Legend Killer: Or it shows that the WWE has nothing for Jericho at this present time

Drowgoddess: That’s my thought.

Unless he goes after Punk now.

Legend Killer: They know he should hold a Championship belt, but they dont want him to hold the World Championship, as it wouldnt fit in with their plans

Drowgoddess: Which would be the greatest thing in the history of things.

Legend Killer: A Punk/Jericho feud would be something worth watching

Drowgoddess: If both guys were allowed to go all-out on the promos.

It would be GOLD, I say!

You don’t script those two.

Legend Killer: there’s no need to

Drowgoddess: You and I know that. Does WWE know that?

Legend Killer: for those who havent seen Punk’s promos in ROH, should check them out

Drowgoddess: Absolutely! The man caused near-riots. He went from being the most beloved guy in the building to the most reviled in the space of five minutes once.

Legend Killer: They probably do, but because of the G rating they’re trying to get, it wont happen

Drowgoddess: A true thing of beauty.

Legend Killer: The interesting thing here is what they do with Jericho and Mysterio from here on

Drowgoddess: I have no idea. If they mean to unmask Rey for good, it could backfire completely.

Jericho can’t go after Punk while tormenting Rey. He CAN, but it won’t work as well.

Legend Killer: unless Rey goes after Punk as well

Drowgoddess: Although I believe that at one point, Jericho was feuding with most of the roster.

Rey and Punk have no history, not really.

Legend Killer: It will be somewhat interesting seeing what happens

CM Punk defeated Umaga in a Samoan Strap match

I can see that this match was there, to make people think that Punk wasnt going to cash in MiTB later on in the night.

Drowgoddess: I was surprised at that. Punk actually got Umaga on “Smackdown,” so I thought Umaga would destroy him at the ppv.

Being the huge, huge Punk fan thatI am, I wanted him to win, but I really didn’t see it happening.

The real question is what does Umaga do now.

Legend Killer: Probably what he’s been doing before this match. Nothing.

Now, match four … ah yes, the ECW Championship

Tommy Dreamer’s last night on his contrac, and he becomes the new ECW Champion

What does this mean for ECW?

Drowgoddess: Hopefully, a return to its roots, however slight. Tommy Dreamer is the last of the ECW originals. Yes, I understand very well that the only two things the current and original ECW have in common are him and those three letters.

However, Tommy’s been heelish lately, and a heel Tommy as the ECW champ could be fantastic.

Imagine him taking the rest of the roster to task for not “getting” what ECW is really about, and re-enacting some of his worst momenbts upon them.

Imagine him losing the title and becoming GM of ECW.

Legend Killer: I would like to see Jack Swagger get caned in the middle of the ring, like Dreamer was back in the day.

Drowgoddess: I think it could only be good, even if nothing really changes in terms of the current product.

Legend Killer: Would they need more ECW originals besides Dreamer, in order for that to work?

Drowgoddess: His face turn writes itself. Tommy schools him for months, gets him in the ring for the caning, and Swagger takes it with, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

Not really. Most of them are dead, crippled, retired, or in other companies.

There aren’t many to choose from. Tommy was, and always has, been the heart and soul of ECW, so he’s really all you need.

If you wanted to bring in others, like RVD, for example, it would certainly help, but it isn’t critical.

Legend Killer: How about say, one-off appearances?

Drowgoddess: I’d personally love it if Evan Bourne’s recent comments about the new ECW blowing the old ECW out of the water in all ways were to set up a Dreamer/Bourne conflict.

One-off appearances would be great.

Particularly if they were handled in true randomness fashion.

Legend Killer: But, as you mentioned, the majority are either too old, or in different companies like TNA

Besides RVD, is there anyone else they could bring in

Drowgoddess: Yes, but some on the indies, who are free to make appearances anywhere, could do it.

For example, the way that Balls Mahoney and Spike Dudley turned up on TNA for a one-shot was perfect.

If WWE would be willing to use guys like that who may have appeared on TNA but don’t work for them, there could be several people left.

Too bad someone treated Jim Mitchell like trash, he’d be a good one.

Balls, Spike, Mitchell, RVD, and possibly Mikey Whipwreck might be good choices.

Mikey retired, but he could make an appearance or two.

Legend Killer: What about guys like Storm and Credible?

Sandman and Sabu?

Drowgoddess: Storm might do it, but I’m not sure he’d be interested. I don’t think they’d ask Credible.

Legend Killer: possibly even a guy like Steve Corino

Drowgoddess: I don’t think that Corino, Sandman, and Sabu are on the WWE call list.

I’d love to see as many of the ECW originals turn up as possible, but considering how the WWE looks at people like that, I don’t think full reunions are likely.

It’s a shame really

Legend Killer: Imagine Paul Heyman returning to ECW, with Dreamer as Champion

We both agree that Tommy Dreamer being Champion is nothing but good for ECW

Drowgoddess: Yes.

Legend Killer: I think we’ve talked enough about this match. Santina Marella pinned Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match to reclaim the Miss Wrestlemania crown

Drowgoddess: The less said about this mess the better.

If the only purpose of it was to divorce Vickie and Edge, then so be it.

Legend Killer: Couldnt agree more.

Batista defeated Randy Orton to become the new WWE Champion

Good move of bad move?

Drowgoddess: Bad. Very, very bad.

Legend Killer: How so?

Legend Killer: The only logic I can see why this is good, is to have Batista feud with Triple H

Drowgoddess: Some say that he was a main eventer coming back from an injury, and where else could he go but a main event push?

While there is truth to that, Batista didn’t have to WIN tonight.

I personally don’t care for the guy. He doesn’t entertain me. That’s irrelevent. The thing is that Orton has been so hot lately, and having anyone take the belt off him right now just feels like a very bad idea.

The match itself just didn’t seem good enough to be a main event world title match where the title changed hands. The whole match was a letdown.

Legend Killer: Batista isnt my cup of tea. I refer to him as ‘PenisHead’ in my columns, and him winning the title has destroyed any momemtum Randy Orton has made since winning the title at Backlash

This match wasnt worthy of a WWE Championship match. Batista cant climb the cage, and the match went way too quick for my liking

Drowgoddess: Agreed on all points.

Orton shouldn’t have lost the title to anyone yet, certainly not to Batista.

Legend Killer: The next match, saw John Cena beat the Big Show in a Submission match

the only thing I need to say is, did anyone not see Cena winning this match?

Drowgoddess: Stevie Wonder and the ghost of Helen Keller saw Cena winning this match.

Note to WWE: If you must have a submissions match, put guys in it who have actual knowledge of and ability in submission wrestling.

Awful. Just awful. Knowing the outcome didn’t help.

Legend Killer: The only move I knew either of these two could do, was Cena’s STFU. That right there, showed me that this match shouldnt of been a Submission match.

Is there any type of match that could have worked? I think an I Quit match could’ve been good.

Drowgoddess: COnsidering the negative attitude that WWE, and Vince in particular, has shown in the past towards submission wrestling, it’s not surprising that they didn’t think this through.

An “I Quit” match might have worked, or a “Last Man Standing” match, as was brought up in the thread.

Legend Killer: Those matches at least, would’ve made things less predictable

Drowgoddess: And less dull.

Legend Killer: A match involving John Cena being less dull?

Drowgoddess: I know.

I speak of madness, sir.

Legend Killer: Speaking of madness. That could be the word describe the results of the Ladder match between Jeff Hardy and Edge

Drowgoddess: In a positive way!

Legend Killer: Jeff Hardy won the World Title, only for CM Punk, to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase, and end the night as new World Champion.

First off, let’s talk about the Ladder match itself. Was it a Main Event quality match>

Drowgoddess: It had main event quality spots. Overall, it wasn’t quite there. It was a very, very good match. I’m not insulting it or the guys involved in any way. The main event of any ppv, particularly when there is a stipulation like a ladder match, should be a Match of the Year candidate on basic principle.

While it blew away almost everything else on the show, it wasn’t quite that.

When you add ppv, main event, world title on theline, and ladder match, it should be epic.

However, I have to stress that nothing about thismatch was a letdown or in any way disappointing.

Legend Killer: This match definately had its high points. For example, Jeff Hardy’s Mid-Air Twist Of Fate, and both men destroying the Ladder on the otuside were great moments.

However, it all pales in comparison somewhat, to CM Punk.

Drowgoddess: I had heard nothing, absolutely nothing, about him possibly cashing the MITB shot tonight, so hearing his music play was a total shock.

Legend Killer: It made the, disappointment you could say, of Jeff Hardy winning the title, a lot brighter, seeing CM Punk cash in.

Drowgoddess: Jeff HArdy is extraordinarily popular. Most of the fans in attendance were thrilled that he won it. That he and Punk are both faces made me wonder, briefly, if Punk might be turning heel.

It opens up possibilities of an Edge/Punk feud, as Edge lost the title to Hardy, and Punk won it from HArdy, so Edge never lost the title to Punk.

Legend Killer: but it also opens up a new challenger

Drowgoddess: I truly did not think that they’d do the same thing twice. I thought for sure that Punk lose after cashing in his title shot. I was stunned in a good way when he won.

Legend Killer: Perhaps Punk will say he used Edge as inspiration

Drowgoddess: I could see that.

Legend Killer: Seeing as thats how Edge won the title using Money In The Bank

Drowgoddess: True, and Edge is constantly referred to as the”Ultimate Opportunist.”

Legend Killer: Could that work though, seeing as Punk didnt beat Edge for the title

Drowgoddess: He really didn’t have to. He could use Edge’s past actions as inspiration.

Legend Killer: Who do we see challenging Punk for the title?

and what does the happenings of this PPV, mean for Jeff Hardy’s much-documented Contract negotiations?

Drowgoddess: Edge will demand a rematch, for sure. Hardy may or may not stay with the company. Jericho could certainly go after him. Even Umaga could give it a shot.

Jeff Hardy’s contract negotiations are like Edge’s old entrance music. We know what they allow us to know. I personally think that nothing has been decided yet, and WWE got the best of both worlds.

If Hardy leaves, they don’t lose a champ and he goes out on his back.

If Hardy stays, he’s in a program for the top title after being taken advantage of in losing it.

They’ve covered themselves either way. I don’t think it tells us anything about Hardy’s current status, apart from the fact that nothing has been decided.

Legend Killer: Could the WWE be sending a message to Hardy, stating possibly that, ‘You would be World Champion if you re-sign’?

Drowgoddess: Definitely. The situation not only covers the WWE either way, it could be a very clear bribe, as it were.

If that’s what they are doing, I have no problem with it.

Legend Killer: When if Jeff Hardy’s contract up by the way?

Drowgoddess: I’m not sure. I thought that it was some time this month, but I could be wrong.

Legend Killer: It looks like being a very interesting next few months for SmackDown!

Drowgoddess: Indeed! It was already far and away the best show on WWE. I’m certainly going to be watching without fail.

Legend Killer: Arguments could be made that ECW is the better program

Drowgoddess: ECW is a very close second. It’s a smaller show, and talent seems to be less restricted or controlled, which is good. Some of the talent on ECW is awesome, and from an in-ring perspective, ECW may be the best program. In terms of an overall show, “Smackdown” takes the top spot.

Legend Killer: I agree, although with Dreamer as Champion, ECW could very well take the the spot

Drowgoddess: That it could. Over the next several months, both “Smackdown” and ECW could give wrestling fans something to feel proud about.

Legend Killer: What do you say for RAW’s future?

Drowgoddess: I have trouble watching RAW. Compared to the other two shows, it has felt boring, plodding, utterly ridiculous, or repetitive. With Batista as champ, I don’t know what that spells for Orton and the Legacy.

Having Orton chase the belt doesn’t work as well as him holding it.

Trips will turn up soon, and if he wants to be a heel, he can go after Batista again.

I don’t know what to say about RAW’s future, but it can only go up.

Legend Killer: Finally, what was your opinion on Extreme Rules as a whole?

Drowgoddess: Low. It was a weak show that did not live up to the name or the expectations. Kofi Kingston winning a title was great, but how “extreme” was that match, really?

The ladder match at the end and the aftermatch saved the show.

In general, they need to do better next time or scrap the idea altogether.

Legend Killer: I saw it as not worth my money. Sure, Punk coming out at the end was a surprise, and the Mysterio/Jericho and Edge/Hardy matches were good. But nothing else, really made me sit up and go Wow!

Drowgoddess: No, not at all. Lots of people are going to feel ripped off as far as this show is concerned.

As well they should.

Legend Killer: Although, those who are Batista/Cena/Punk fans will feel quite happy

Drowgoddess: This is what happens when you shove too many ppvs in a year out there.

True. I revel with the Punk fans.

Legend Killer: The next PPV is just three weeks away, the Bash. Will you be watching?

Drowgoddess: It’s too early to tell. Those of us not billionaires have to pick and choose our shows. I’ll be watching TNA’s “Slammiversary” for sure, and “The Bash” is the following Sunday. I’ll wait and see what the card is before committing to another ppv.

Legend Killer: Whereas I wont be watching any of them. Pay-Pre-Views just arent as good as they used to be.

Drowgoddess: Generally speaking, I have to agree with you, but there are good reasons for watching “Slammiversary” this year.

Again, if there weren’t so many ppvs, the quality would almost HAVE to go up.

Legend Killer: You would think so

Drowgoddess: A ppv should never feel like an episode of tv that you shelled out $30 or $40 to watch.

Legend Killer: exactly

and especially, when you can watch the high points of the PPV matches, on the next week’s weekly shows

Drowgoddess: Over and over and over again.

That really doesn’t make the paying customer feel very smart.

Legend Killer: No it doesnt, it’s a shame the WWE got rid of these streams

Drowgoddess: Indeed.

Legend Killer: Well, I’d say that about call it a night.

Drowgoddess: Agreed.

Legend Killer: Thank you for joining me for the BWF post-PPV recap

Drowgoddess: My pleasure, anytime.

Legend Killer: My thanks to ThinkSoJoe and Drowgoddess for helping with BoredWrestlingFan.com’s coverage of WWE Extreme Rules, this has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, reminding you to tune in this Wednesday for my column, plus for all thr weekly wrestling coverage as well. So long from Extreme Rules!

Ugh.  Another Monday, another RAW.  These have been the bane of my existence since Drowgoddess started doing the iMPACT reviews here on BoredWrestlingFan.com.  The show has just been extremely stale lately.  They need a debut, a huge return, or something.  I know what you’re thinking; “But JoE, John Cena just returned 8 days ago!”  That doesn’t count.  Cena was only gone three months and had a month worth of promos shoved down our gullets three times a week.  He comes back, and he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.  That’s another story, however, and we’ll talk about that later.  We’ve got a show to watch on DVR and review!

Full review (and in depth analysis of the Superstar of the Year nominees) after the jump!