John Cena opens the show with a weird promo about Kane/Bryan’s anger management issues, U.S. Champion Cesar Antonio having huge nipples, and wanting to take AJ out on a date to “In & Out” burger. He comments on how loud the crowd is, but they have no voice; because the voice of the voiceless has become the “voice of the selfish,” referring to WWE Champion C.M. Punk refusing to face him at “Hell in a Cell.”
“If you are the best in the world, what does it matter if no-one watches?” – John Cena
Cena says Punk’s not a man, and tells him don’t be a punk. Face him at “HIC” and cement his legacy.
As Cena leaves, RYBACK enters. They trade a glance passing each other up the aisle.
RYBACK DEF PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – This match actually makes Mo/Co look better in defeat than Ryback does in victory. The former champions take over early and dominate with quick double teaming, yet this ends just the way you figured, with Ryback squashing both men w/a combo of clotheslines and the Meat-hook.
John Bradshaw Layfield is on commentary tonight w/Jim Ross and Michael Cole. During the match, he mentions how Primo/Epico were Puerto Rican tag team champions, and that their uncle Carlos Colon still owes him and a lot of other people money.
Brodus Clay and the Funkadactyls dance their way to the ring. R-Truth chases “Little Jimmy” into the ring. He apologizes to Brodus, but since “Jimmy” is going through some “changes,” he asks if they can dance instead of fight. Brodus agrees and we have a dance party; until Vince McMahon himself pops up on the tron to tell them to wrap it up and dance out of the ring, so he can deliver a “state of the WWE address” after the break.
We come back from break and Vince is in the ring, addressing the state of WWE.
“We just saw two grown men, out here with two lovely ladies, the Funkadactyls – you have to be careful how you say that – dancing with an imaginary child, that’s the state of the WWE.” – Vince McMahon
Vince remarks how that there’s room for that in the WWE as well as Leprechauns, Goat-faced vegans, big red monsters, giants etc. When he mentions the best facing the best, WWE champ C.M. Punk interrupts with Paul Heyman in tow. Vince calls his t-shirt ugly and says he feels disrespected. Punk goes off on the subject of disrespect, in regards to him. He asks if Vince respects him. Vince says he respects Punks reign as champion, but he’s not a “C.M. Punk guy.”
Punk responds by calling himself the best thing Vince has got right now, and he should be appreciated. He threatens to jump the rail and let Vince kiss his ass goodbye. He asks Vince who makes the WWE a success, Vince answers, and it’s the WWE universe. He listens to them every day, and he bets they’re all thinking someone needs to shut his mouth. Vince says he has no right to compare himself to past stars like Shawn Michaels, Brett Hart, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Punk cuts a promo on Austin, saying he got to the top with short-cuts and ducking people. Punk follows it up with a slap to Vince’s face. Vince gets back up and demands that Punk fights him tonight!
Back from break, Arnold Schwarzenegger is our social media ambassador tonight.
REY MYSTERIO/SIN CARA DEF TITUS O’NEAL/DARRIEN YOUNG – This was a general but entertaining tag match, if formulaic. Rey gets the win with a 619 and droppin’ the dime. This puts “Sinsterio” in the finals of the tournament to name #1 contenders to the WWE tag team title.
Backstage: Paul Heyman tries to talk Punk out of the match w/Vince McMahon, telling him even if he wins, they’ll both have a crazy billionaire dedicated, to making their lives miserable, after them. Punk says they have nothing to worry about.
Back from break, we get a double recap of Cena challenging Punk at Hell in the Cell, Punk slapping down Vince, and Vince making a main-event with him facing Punk.
SHEAMUS DEF WADE BARRETT (DQ) – Before the match, we get a recap of Sheamus getting Big Show DQ’d in his match against Tensai on last weeks’ Smackdown. Just as the match starts, Big Show comes out to sit at ringside. The match itself was just a good old fashioned brawl, with the momentum going back and forth until Tensai runs in to get payback and the DQ for Sheamus. Sheamus fights off his attackers but Big Show catches his foot, and dumps him over the ropes and out the ring. Show walks off smiling.
After the match, JR heads to the back to try and talk Vince out of the match. Vince makes JR call the match right there in front of him.
Back from break, Punk meets with GM AJ Lee, suggesting that the WWE BOD (board of directors) might not be happy with her letting her boss get beaten up. AJ calls Punk a coward, and Punk agrees to the match, saying whatever happens is on her “pretty little head.”
We get a look at Cena pushing the Susan G. Komen breast-cancer awareness campaign on “Kelly and Michael.” (Daytime TV. show)
Back from break, we get a recap of Antonio Cesaro taking out Brodus Clay with the “Neutralizer” on last weeks’ show. As Cesaro makes his way to the ring, we get a clip of Cesaro insulting Americans taste in cuisine, saying it’s only fit for swine.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF TYSONN KIDD – Kidd actually gets in some nifty offense, but Cesaro finishes it convincingly with the “Neutralizer.”
We come back from break to Vicki Guerro introducing us to Mr. Money in the Bank, Dolph Ziggler. Michael Cole recaps Ziggler’s “Twitter feud” with Arnold Schwarzenegger, as Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio, who drives out in an $110,000 Mazarati. WWE tag champions Daniel Bryan and Kane make their respective entrances, and we’re underway.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO (BRYAN/KANE) DEF ALBERTO DEL RIO AND DOLPH ZIGGLER – Face-paced, if by-the-numbers tag with plenty of highspots. Kane brings it home by tagging himself in and getting the choke-slam on Ziggler for the three-count.
Side Notes: Kane celebrates 15 years with WWE this month, and JBL calls Mil Mascaras (Del Rio’s grandfather,) the “most selfish man in the business.”
Recap: Punk slaps Vince
Backstage: JR tries to talk Vince out of the match, mentioning what happened to “The King.” Vince makes JR call the match in the old JR style right then and there, following that with a Rock reference.
“It doesn’t matter what you think!” – Vince McMahon
Back from break, Cole congratulates JBL on his successful climb of Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for at-risk kids.
AND now we get a “Larry King NOW” segment. Broadcast legend Larry King comes out with wife # seven/eight/thirteen, whatever, and introduces Intercontinental Champion the Miz as his guest. Miz acts like a jerk, Larry brings out Kofi Kingston, Miz is a bigger jerk, Larry’s wife throws water in his face, Miz takes off his jacket, Kofi jumps Miz, and as they fight to the back, Larry and wife no. seven of eleven wave and smile to the people, feeling NO OBLIGATION WHATSOEVER to sell the brawl like it’s anything important.
“I’ve had more championships than you’ve had wives.” – The Miz
RHODES SCHOLARS VS SANTINO MORELLA/ZACK RYDER – Quick, simple tag team match w/Cody Rhodes and Damian Sandow advancing into the finals, after Cody hits the beautiful disaster while Santino tries to put on the sock puppet.
After the match, Santino take a beat-down from Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, and Jinder Mahal. I don’t know why.
Backstage: Paul Heyman tries to talk Vince out of the match w/C.M. Punk. Vince asks Heyman if he knows when he is/isn’t lying.
“Don’t make CM Punk do to you, what Brock Lesnar did to Triple H.” – Heyman
WWE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP; EVE VS KAITLIN – Layla joins the commentary team while Eve makes Kaitlyn look good. Kaitlyn hits a back-breaker on Eve, aggravating the “injured” ankle. Eve wins with an ankle-lock submission, but refuses to let go. Layla runs in to break it up. Eve makes like she’s concerned for Kaitlyn. During the whole match, JBL kept riding Layla on her “conspiracy theory,” about how Eve got the title shot. It was like he was trying to get something out of her, but I’ll never know what.
Backstage: Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo are deciding where to go to eat. Josh Mathews comes in and tries to tell them about Randy Orton’s tweet. Del Rio tries to blow him off, but Josh reads the tweet. Orton is really looking forward to Smackdown. Del Rio gets concerned and bolts.
Twitter, the new weapon of intimidation; as confirmed by teen-age girls everywhere.
After a promo for the Susan G. Komen breast cancer awareness campaign, we get a bit where Daniel Bryan asks Larry for advice about dealing with the “goat face” comments. Kane steps in and they start with the arguing. Bryan yells at Kane for scaring off Larry. Kane thought it was Skeletor.
VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON VS WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK (NO CONTEST) – Punk jumps Vince from behind before the match even starts, and proceeds to toss him all over the arena floor. Funniest spot is Punk putting on a headset to mock Vince.
“WHAT A MANUVER!” – Punk to Vince
And then it goes to crap.
Vince not only turns the tide, but proceeds to BRUTALIZE Punk. He HURLS Punk across the announce table, and pounces on him. At one point, Vince grabs a Kendo stick, and Punk tries to RUN AWAY. He calls for Heyman to grab his belt, but Vince takes Heyman down and grabs it.
Punk comes back, and finds a Kendo stick of his own. We get a brief duel THAT VINCE WINS! Punk takes over with a low-blow and batters Vince with two kendo sticks. Punk goes for the GTS, but Ryback runs to the rescue. Punk tries to bail, but John Cena comes out to toss him back in. After taking a few bumps, Punk bails. Vince demands Punk choose to face Ryback or Cena at HITC by next week, or Vince will choose for him.
SERIOUSLY!? You really want to take this huge step back? After a solid first hour with decent matches, you wanna JOB OUT YOUR CHAMPION TO A 67 YEAR OLD MAN? YOU EXPECT TO SELL A PPV WITH THIS SH!T?
Was this some kind of jab at Lawler? Or a punishment because you blame Punk for what happened to him? Because I have NO idea what the logic here is.
We begin with a video recap of the Claire & AJ and Aces & 8′s storylines.
Bully Ray heads down to the ring and pulls out his ‘Twittah machine.’ He bullie’s for a mic and asks if we know who he is. He announces that he’s the leader of the Bully Nation. He says Joseph Park taught him that if there’s enough evidence against someone, then they’re guilty. He says Storm is guilty of being involved with Aces & 8′s and tonight he will beat Storm and get his 7 points in the BFG Series. (Whatever did happen to the Joseph Parks, Bully Ray confrontation?)
Storm’s comes out.
Storm says had nothing to do with the attacks because he is more concerned with winning his title back. He draws an imaginary line in the ring and says he will give Bully to the count of 3 to do something. Bully backs out onto the apron.
They are interrupted by the masked men on the big screen and their voices have been distorted. They say they are impressed with The Insane Icon issuing them an open invitation but they are going to do it on their time.
Bully gets in the ring and accuses Storm again. They cut him off to a sudden commercial.
They re-play the Aces & 8′s video from moments ago.
Backstage, The Pope talks about his BFG Series match at Hardcore Justice 2012 this Sunday. The Pope hasn’t actually been pimping anything but the mat since his return to iMPACT and I watched The Dark Knight Rises and didn’t remember seeing him during the prison break scene.
Mr. Anderson comes out to do commentary
RVD vs. Magnus
Magnus clotheslines RVD over the top. Magnus follows and puts the boots to him. Magnus throws him back in and gets 2. Magnus catches RVD and slams him for another 2. RVD hits a kick to the head and springs off the ropes for another kick to the head. RVD hits a Superkick but is caught with a clothesline in the corner.
RVD hits a 5 Star Frogsplash for the win. There goes Magnus’s claim to the series and whatever came of his Xplosion championship stipulation where he can challenge the champion of any division for a title. Somebody please remember this.
7 points RVD
Bobby Roode talks backstage with Jason Hervey, and his lawyers aren’t happy with the contract so there may not be a main event at Hardcore Justice. So wouldn’t this make A Double happy seeing as how he is the Champion?[caption id="attachment_6261" align="aligncenter" width="271"] Sore Loser! and I win!!![/caption]
-Claire’s baby shower from last week
TNA Tag Team Championship: Garett Bischoff & Devon vs. Kazarian & Daniels (c)
Devon starts off with Kaz and quickly tags Garett. Kaz tags Daniels in and Garett gets 2. Devon tags back in and drops a big leg for 2. Garett tags back in and they double team Daniels. Kazarian distracts Garett from the apron and Daniels capitalizes. Kazarian tags in and gets 2. More quick tags from the champs.
Garett manages a tag to Devon who cleans house. Devon hits a Rock Bottom on Kazarian and tosses Daniels out. Devon hits a spear on Kaz and a spinebuster on Daniels. Kaz uses the belt behind the ref’s back and Daniels gets the pin.
*This is one of those matches where my dad (who looks strikingly like Devon) was watching as Daniels was struggling with Garett and looked at me and said why are we watching this its so fake. And I responded its not Devon, Daniels or Kaz’s fault blame Garett. He was still not impressed.
Winners by pin and STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: Daniels & Kazarian
-video of Sting and Brooke’s meeting from last week
Sting calls out Aces & 8′s and says he has given Brooke the night off.
Robbie E. and Robbie T. are in the ring, there is a table set-up. Robbie E. says he knows nobody thinks he’s going to win the BFG Series but he has 5 points, bro. He says he will win another 20 this Sunday, bro. He says he will do it by putting Jeff Hardy through a table. He shows footage from 3 weeks ago where he beat Hardy. Hardy’s music erupts.
Hardy gets in the ring and drops Robbie T. Robbie E. tries to back-off but Hardy slaps him and tries to put him through the table but Robbie T. attacks him from behind and powerbombs him through the table.
Backstage, AJ says he doesn’t remember anything with Claire. He says he doesn’t drink and how bad at sex does someone have to be to not remember being with them?
Samoa Joe grabs a headset and says nobody is going to stop him from winning the BFG series
Claire is at ringside again and cheers AJ as he makes his way to the ring.
BFG Series: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles
Angle gets drilled with a dropkick and goes outside. AJ slingshots over the top with a crossbody.
Kurt powers AJ into the corner and hits a belly-to-belly as Claire looks-on. Angle applies a headlock. AJ fights out but Angle hits a Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker and back to the headlock. Both men connect with simultaneous clotheslines. AJ gets the offense on the way up off the mat. Angle rebounds and hits a trifecta of Germans.
AJ counters the Angle Slam and connects with the Pele but Angle gets his shoulder up at the last second. Angle counters the Styles Clash and hits the Angle Slam for 2. AJ gets out of the Angle Lock and hits a German but Angle counters out and applies the Lock again but AJ rolls through. AJ springs off the apron and hits a flying forearm and the Styles Clash but somehow Angle kicks out.
AJ goes up top but Angle brings him down with a belly-to-belly but AJ kicks out. Angle misses with a moonsault off the ropes in the corner. AJ goes up top for a 450 but Angle gets his knees up and hits the Angle Slam.
7 points Kurt Angle
Claire congratulates AJ on his way up the ramp but he keeps walking and we get a close-up of her confused face.
Aces & 8′s are playing cards. They rundown who all has received the dead man’s hand from them. They say the next target is close and we will all find out who the next victim is.
Storm and Anderson accuse each other backstage of being behind it all.
Aries is on the phone backstage talking about Roode threatening not to sign the contract.
Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
They go right at it before the bell rings. Kim drops Tessmacher’s throat across the top rope. Gail drops her across her knee and gets 2. Gail steps on Tessmacher’s stomach. Tessmacher mounts a comeback but is shutdown.
Tessmacher hits a flurry and a clothesline off the corner. She does a Stinkface. Tessmacher brings Gail off the top and hits a facebuster for the win.
Winner by pin: Miss Tessmacher
Earl Hebner raises Tessmacher’s arm and they talk. Madison Rayne comes out and she kisses Hebner and he falls out.
Joseph Park talks.
Aries and Roode make their way to the Impact Zone.
They show Kenny King’s win over Zema Ion from last week
Kenny King video package
Sting makes his way to the ring. A table is set-up. Sting invites Aces & 8′s to the ring. He moves on and invites Roode and Aries to the ring.
Aries displays his title and takes a seat. Roode refuses to sit down and Sting asks him what is up with his attitude. Roode asks if Sting’s stupid. He says the contract is his problem. He says the contract states that if he loses to Aries then he doesn’t get a rematch as long as Aries is champ. Roode says Sting has it out for him. Roode says if the language doesn’t change, there will be no main event this Sunday.
Aries tells him to stop whining. He says he’s worried about a rematch clause because he knows Aries has his number. Aries says they don’t need a contract, they can make a verbal agreement. He proposes that if Roode beats him then he will also forfeit his rematch clause. Sting tells them to shake on it. Each man shakes hands with Sting.
Roode takes off his coat and starts throwing things and Aries comically mocks his temper and shadows him. Roode offers his hand and Aries shakes it. Aries raises the belt and Roode throws water in his face and runs away. Aries turns the table over but Sting holds him back.
Storm and Bully make their way to the Impact Zone.
-Backstage in an interview package, Chavo says he’s here to beat the best. Kid Kash says Chavo’s a cheater.
-Kash & Gunner will face Chavo & Hernandez this Sunday at Hardcore Justice.
-Kenny King will face Zema Ion for the TNA X-Division Title.
-Miss Tessmacher will face Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title
-BFGFalls Count Anywhere Match for 20 points: RVD, Anderson, Pope, Magnus
-BFGTables Match for 20 points: Hardy, Storm, Bully, Robbie E.
-BFG Ladder Match for 20 points: Styles, Angle, Daniels, Samoa Joe
BFG Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm
Both men look behind them for Aces & 8′s. Storm hits clotheslines but is unable to take Bully off his feet. Bully hits a big boot and knocks Storm down then tosses him out.
Storm avoids an elbowdrop on the mat. Bully Ray catches him with a boot to the gut and applies a leg lock. Storm reverses it and Bully reaches the ropes. Bully hits a clothesline for 2. Bully hits punches to the head. Storm mounts a comeback with a series of rights and a neckbreaker. Back bodydrop by Storm. Bully launches Storm onto the apron but gets a kick to the back of the head. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2.
Storm fights out of a full nelson and goes up top for a cross body and gets 2. Storm comes off the top and misses with an elbowdrop. Bully hits the Bubba Bomb and gets 2. Bully misses with a back-splash off the top. Storm hits a Codebreaker but Bully avoids the Last Call. Bully hits the Bully 3D Cutter for the win.
7 points Bully Ray
Bully grabs his chain in anticipation of Aces & 8′s. He asks Storm where they are. He says send for them.
Aces & 8′s appear on the screen and they tell Bully he will see more of them at the PPV.[caption id="attachment_6260" align="aligncenter" width="214"] Pintnoir out![/caption]
Well here I am after a wonderful week of work. But even with all that I’ve found time for Impact Wrestling. We start the show with a replay of how Roode has held onto his title for months. And culminating in his beat down of Steve Borden. Roode opens the show.
He gloats how Sting on twitter has apparently quit wrestling. Roode praises himself for doing something that Harley Race, Vader, and Ric Flair failed to do. This time we don’t have an interruption from someone in the back.
Later we cut to Crimson and Morgan arguing over AAO, and Morgan being speared by Crimson. From what the convo details we could see a Crimson heel turn. Both agree to get on the ball and win tonight.
Tag Team Title rematch: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs Matt Morgan/Crimson
We get another good match where Magnus takes the brunt of the attacks. Then tags in Joe to clean house when needed. Toward the end of the match Morgan is hot tagged and goes through both Joe and Magnus setting up for the pin. Joe makes the save. Later on as Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint on Joe, Crimson from the other end clotheslines Morgan when Joe ducks. A Joe Magnus setup elbow drop, helps them retain. After the match Crimson fumes at Morgan.
Brandon Jacobs makes his return (same day if you were at the tapings) as he walks down the ramp Mike Tenay makes an announcement of last week being shown on espn and other such networks? I’m confused. How? Anyway, Brandon Jacobs calls out Bully Ray or as he calls him “Buwwy Ray” Bully Ray comes down and stops midway at the ramp. The two banter back and forth, Ray makes light of Jacobs accomplishments while he pumps up his own. Finally Jacobs has had enough and chases Bully Ray to the back. Backstage Jacobs is approached by Hardy and Storm who tell him something in his ear.
X Division match: Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley
We have good back and forth from these two. Zema holds his own against Shelley. During the match Austin Aries comes to the ring with popcorn and wine to evaluate the match. Shelley is making a comeback and attempting sliced bread #2 when Ion pushes him into the ref with that distraction he sprays Shelley in the face with hairspray, leading to a jawbuster and then a running knee pin. Austin Aries looks on in disgust.
We have a replay of the Bischoff story. The segment seems strangely cut off when Hogan confronts Garett to give him some advice. Oh and Madison makes an appearance to explain her winning the knockout over the top challenge, and how she is just giving Gail a better opponent. Because you know Sarita wasn’t available.
ODB w/ EY vs Gail: We have the new Cody Deaner appear with his love ODB, to a very good reaction from the Impact crowd. Gail follows with her typical self. We get a good match with of course the occasional interference from Eric. Soon Madison comes down which distracts Gail. This of course leads to an ODB comeback which is ended when Gail reverses out of the BaBam and turns it into Eat Defeat. Afterwards Madison runs into the ring to raise Kim’s hand. Gail is furious shouting at Madison leaving her in the ring.
We have a replay and interview with Jesse Sorenson and his mom detailing his accident. Mike Tenay assures us he’s at home now. AJ does a pretape about how he’s done with Daniels and Kazarian. His mind is on the TNA world title.
This sets up AJ Styles vs Robbie E. For the television title.
A decent match with the obligatory interference from Rob Terry. Soon Daniels with Kaz comes to the ring. Kaz who looks extremly P”Oed walks pasts a bewildered Daniels and proceeds attack AJ from the apron. Causing a DQ. Before walking out glaring at Daniels.
Main Event: No Disqualification Tag Match Storm/Hardy w/ Brandon Jacobs vs Angle/Bully Ray
A good match where Jacobs gets his hands on Ray. The inclusion of Angle from last weeks attack seem to help start a feud. Since Hardy didn’t really gets his hands on Angle. A table is introduced by Ray and Angle but is turned against them when Jacobs gets into the ring and chokeslams Ray through allowing Storm to get the pin.
Sting comes out to announce his retirement. But Roode can’t help but to interrupt. This seemingly sets off Sting who starts poring on black makeup getting into his joker character. Roode goes for another low blow but is blocked but Sting kicks back dropping Roode. Sting promises to put on the boots to kick Roode’s butt. He can’t decide on a closing remark, but leaves with Ta Ta for now.
We open with a video package of Nexus.
To the ring Ashley Valence is in the ring with Matt Striker as they take turns introducing the pros. Morrison is selling his beating by Nexus. Laycool is absent.
They bring out Nexus, who takes seats on the opposite side of the entrance from the pros. Darren Young is absent due to his beating by John Cena
Barrett says it’s a privlege to be on the show they got their start on. They wish the rookies all the best. He tells the pros they just want to sit back and enjoy the show.
Click to continue reading “Delayed NXT season 2 review for 7/13″
Time for the live finale of NXT. We get to see some of the best moments of the show so far plus the eliminations.
Click to continue reading “NXT 6/1 The Season Finale”
After taking a few weeks to check this show out I’ve found it’s pretty enjoyable and I’m going to give reveiwing it a shot.
Click to continue reading “NXT 3/16/10″
This is it. The last episode of ECW and this time it’s unlikely there will be another revival. We’ve got a Unfied Tag Team Title Match featuring Yoshi Tatsi and Goldust challenging Show-Miz and Christian will defend the ECW title against Ezekial Jackson.
Click to continue reading “The Final ECW”
Last week Ezekial Jackson won the ECW Homecoming to become number 1 contender for Christian’s ECW title.
Click to continue reading “ECW 1/19/10″
Tonight is the finale of ECW Homecoming for a shot at Christian’s title at the Royal Rumble.
Click to continue reading “ECW 1/12/10″
Provided that any of you can still move after your Thanksgiving Day bounty, find the nearest line and cross it! Just don’t step on me.
Click to continue reading “Turkey Day "iMPACT" Impressions, 11/26/09″