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Welcome to the War for a special occasion.

It’s amazing really, I barely talked about the SummerSlam Pay-Per-View LIVE in about … 14 hours time, which means … it’s prediction time.

MVP vs. Jack Swagger

The man I call Dusty Rhodes gets the win. Listen to Swagger speak, then you’ll know.

Kane vs. the Great Khali

I can’t stand Khali, so I hope Kane wins. Then again, Kane needs the mask.

Unified Tag Team Championship:  JeriShow (c) vs. Cryme Time

If Cryme Tyme win, then it will be a joke. Jericho and Show with the victory.

ECW Championship:  Christian (c) vs. William Regal

William Regal. Sure, it will technically count as a Major Championship reign, but having he, Kozlov and Zeke as a stable on ECW, could be a really good thing. Especially, with the leader with the belt.

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

I can’t stand Rey. I couldn’t stand him as a Filthy Animal, and I can’t stand him now. Give Ziggler the win, even though he was a stupid name.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

Legacy should win, however they won’t. DX pickup the win.

WWE Championship:  Randy Orton (c) vs John Cena

Orton should retain. I hope the snipers come and shoot Cena.

World Heavyweight Championship: TLC: Jeff Hardy (c) vs CM Punk

Considering Hardy is leaving either at SummerSlam, or the week after. Punk will win. Punk should win. Vampiro doesn’t deserve it.

There you go, that’s who will win. I will be watching if I am awake. If the PPV is not up to scratch, then I wont be watching Floyd Mayweather Guest Host RAW.

Welcome once again to another column, brought to you by Yours Truly. This week, I have hidden a secret word. See, if you can find it.

WWE

The Bash has been and gone. Results have been posted by whomever it was that reviewed it. So there’s no need for me to comment on it.

However, there was some kind of trade that happened, sending the likes of Matt Sydal and Dusty Rhodes to RAW, William Regal to ECW and the Hart Foundation 3.0 to SmackDown! Will this make any difference to the amount of wrestling on TV? No. Will it make a difference as to how many In Your House Pay-Per-Views I watch on DVD? Oh hell yeah!

I recently picked up the WWE Encyclopedia. They say it includes everyone, it even has Chris Benoit mentioned with a big picture of him and all. I heard they had to keep him away from the pillows, but at least he’s in there. Matt Morgan, Chris Kanyon, Sean O’Haire and Nathan Jones did not make the book. They all competed in WWE, where is their mentioning? Kanyon won tag team gold, and was U.S. Champion, and he didnt make the book!

Just Joe made the book. Remember him? The weekly jobber for Heat? He made it. Kronik, the group which lasted less than a month in WWE, they made it. Remember Pez Whatley? Phantasio? PJ Walker? They all made it. Theodore Long made it, and yet Sean Mooney nor Todd Pettingill didnt. It’s a good encyclopedia, but it would be even better if they included everyone.

TNA

It seems the nWo Wolfpac new World order Main Event Mafia will hold every TNA Title after Victory Road. I knew it was coming, it had to. It looks like Kurt Angle will be TNA Champ, Samoa Joe as Legends Champ and Booker T and Scott Steiner as Tag Team Champions.

What happened to Eric Young’s heel turn? He’s stuck wrestling Jesse Neal. Who the hell is Jesse Neal?

Well, thats it, I know it seems a bit short, but i’m now writing two columns on the same night, and this is the second of the two. Besides, I have a Randy Savage DVD to watch.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot … P!

Apparently, as this goes to print, I have been bought out. A deal has been made between Joe and ‘the Donald’, which means that this week’s column is bought to you by ‘the Donald’.

WWE

The Bash is this weekend, so I suppose, i’d better preview it for the public.

Jimmy Valiant vs Paul Jones in a Dog Collar match

Expect the ‘Handsome’ one to win this one.

Billy Graham, Konga the Barbarian and Abdullah the Butcher w/Paul Jones vs Manny Fernandez, Sam Houston and Buzz Tyler

Even though their manager competed in the first match, I see Graham’s team winning. The size and craziness of the Butcher will be too much for the other team to handle.

Ron Bass w/James J. Dillon vs Buddy Landell

I see the future Horsemen manager playing  a part in this one. Ron Bass takes it out for me.

Minnesota Wrecking Crew (c) (Ole and Arn Anderson) vs Buzz Sawyer and Dick Slater – NWA National Tag Team Championship

I see the Andersons scraping this one out and retaining the gold.

NWA World Tag Team Champions: Krusher Khruschev and Ivan Koloff vs the AWA World Tag Team Champions: the Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering

I see the AWA Champs taking this one out in what will sure to be nothing short of a fight between these four guys.

Magnum T.A. (c) vs Kamala w/Skandor Akbar for the NWA United States Championship

Somehow, in some way, I can see Magnum retaining the gold. Possibly by a countout or a disqualification, but he will retain.

Ric Flair (c) vs Nikita Koloff w/Ivan Koloff with David Crockett as Referee for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Flair always seems to rise in the big occasions, and even with the help of Ivan, I can’t see Nikita winning. The dirtiest player in the game gtes the win.

Tully Blanchard (c) w/Baby Doll vs Dusty Rhodes for the NWA World Television Chanpionship in a Steel Cage

Blanchard has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from the American Dream. One final Bionic Elbow and Dusty becomes champ.

TNA

They had a PPV. Slammiversary Seven. It was a momentus occasion, considering seven seems to be the celebratory number in TNA. Anyways, let’s review the results shall we?

Pre Show: the British Invasion def. Eric Young and Rhino

Who cared?

Suicide (c) def. ‘Paparazzi’ Alex Shelley, Randy Savage, Afro Thunder and Chris Sabin in a King of the Mountain match for the X Division Championship

Nice to see Kaz is still in the mask (Note: Suicide isn’t kaz, it’s this guy.

Daniels def. Shane Douglas for Daniels’ TNA roster spot

Money on it, that Douglas is on this week’s iMPACT.

Angelina Love (c) w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne def. Tara for the Knockouts Championship

“…All the things she said, running through my head…”

Abyss and Taylor Wilde def. Daffney and Raven w/Dr. Stevie in a Monster’s Ball Mixed tag match

Didn’t they have one of these like last month?

Rhino def. Team Canada (Bobby Roode and Coach D’Amore) in a Handicap match

This match happened at the 2006 edition of Slammiversary, thus not relevant to this particular PPV

Sting def. Matt Morgan for a spot in the Main Event Mafia

As if Morgan was going to win

Beer Money def. Team 3D (c) to win the TNA Tag Team Championship

Justice has been served, one half of AMW and one fifth? one sixth? of Team Canada reclaim the gold. Best Tag team in wrestling. BEER! MONEY!

Bob Backlund def. Alex Shelley

This is from 2007, who’s handing me these notes?

Kurt Angle def. Mick Foley (c), Jeff Jarrett, Gonorrhea, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Christian Cage, Alzheimer’s Disease, Samoa Joe, Chris Harris, Scott Steiner, Doink the Clown, the Rock, Lance Hoyt, Lo-Ki, heel CM Punk, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Vitali Klitschko, Vlade Divac, Chris Webber, Anfernee Hardway, Toby Keith, Christy Hemme, ABBA, Stephen Root, George Constanza, Trey Parker, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Syphillis, John C. Reilly, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Bill Guerin, Alzheimer’s Disease, the Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness,  Nash Bridges, Cheech Marin, Tecmo Superbowl, Wario, Sidney Crosby, ThinkSoJoe’s ex-wife, Mick Foley’s book ‘the Hardcore Diaries’, a Bookshelf, AJ Styles, Air Paris, the 1973 Chicago Bears, Terry Bradshaw’s hairpiece, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, Chainsaw Charlie and Alzhe … I forget in a King of the Mountain match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Need I say more … ?

That’s all for this week!

For some reason, I’ve always been facinated with Donald Trump, especially after starting my own business several years ago.  I’d heard that The Donald only sleeps four hours a night, so that while his competition was asleep, he’d be up coming up with new innovations.  Let’s face it, whatever the guy is doing, it works.

I happened to walk in to a discount book store a couple of months ago while my car was in for an oil change, and two books jumped out at me – “Tietam Brown” by Mick Foley, and “How to Get Rich” by Donald Trump.  At the time, I still had a few books to read, but I bought them both.  After finishing Chris Jericho’s “A Lion’s Tale: Around The World In Spandex,” I picked up Trump’s book and started reading.  I’ve thusfar found it difficult to put down.  I came across the following in a section (Trump’s book doesn’t really have chapters in the traditional sense) called “Cover These Eleven Bases (The Art of Public Speaking, Part II)” and immediately thought about the WWE and TNA.

“Notes can sometimes function as a useful reference point, especially if you’re speaking to a large audience.  If you’re prepared, no one can tell that you’re using them.  Ideally, you don’t want to read a speech.  For some reason, no matter how good your delivery is when you read a speech, it’s usually boring.  Everyone sees that you’re reading it and it’s never quite the same as delivering it off the cuff.  Notes offer the best of both worlds:  They keep you focused and moving in the right direction without turning you into a stiff.”

Now obviously, the wrestlers aren’t out there reading their lines off of a piece of paper, but they are essentially reciting them verbatim from the run sheets.  Think about it.  Think about the greatest talkers in wrestling’s illustrious history.  Dusty Rhodes.  Ric Flair.  Hulk Hogan.  Randy Savage.  Steve Austin.  The Rock.  How many of them had their promos written word for word for them?  I’d bet none.

This is a challenge to the WWE and TNA wrestling.  Give your guys bullet points to hit and let them go out and get themselves over.  If they can’t, back to the indies with them.  If they can, championship gold and big money.  Yes, you’re television entities, but that does not mean you have to script everything.

This article is part 6 of a series on WWE Pay Per View events.  See also:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5.

The Great American Bash has a history all it’s own, and most of it has nothing to do with World Wrestling Entertainment.  For WWE to try to capitalize on the legacy associated with this event is completely understandable. It still needs to hit the chopping block.

I present my arguments against The Great American Bash, after the jump!

I try.

I try so very hard.