After Ace’s and 8′s dominated the show last week, this week will be the reckoning. Sting comes out and announces that he is the interim GM until Hogan gets out of his mesh, various metals and hip injury caused by Ace’s and 8′s and not a preconditioned wrestling lifestyle. Reality meets wrestling people. Sting calls out Aces and tells them that he’s alone, but then Austin Aries music hits and he comes out to back up the Icon. He has his own grieviousness with the group and whats a piece. But before that can happen Kurt Angle comes out and he recaps the recap explaining his reasons for wanting the Group got. This dovetails with Roode who comes and gives his conspiracy theory about James Storm being the Leader.
Click to continue reading “Pintnoir review- TNA Impact 7/26/2012″
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I92E-Cpwgh0&feature=player_detailpage[/youtube]After the recap, we jump right into Bully Ray shilling his new twitter account, @Realbully5150. He calls out Joseph Park and accepts his challenge for next week’s impact. All this will be a Anything Goes match except that Ray has a restraining order against Abyss who if he even shows up will be sent to rot in prison. Park is dumbfounded until he’s cheap shoted.
A Double and “H Double” discuss Aries giving up the belt at the end of the night. Which leads us right into a Destination X promo, which is embedded above.
Jason Hervey (Wonder Years for those in the know) attempts to interview Dixie Carter who is more than happy to talk about the New X-Division talent but not eager to talk about Claire Lynch. Talking of that new prospective X-Division talent err.. oh wait
Click to continue reading “iMPACT Wrestling- Road to Destination X”
Last year, TNA Wrestling launched a series of summer live events at baseball stadiums, and called it the BaseBrawl. A great thing about these events is that if you buy lawn/floor/ringside seats, whatever you want to call them, you also get a meet and greet with a majority of the stars on the roster. You can also buy an elite package, which will get you a limited edition baseball bat and a personal meeting with the event’s major star. Last year in Buffalo, that was Hulk Hogan, this year, Jeff Hardy. But, enough shilling the event.[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="540"] and the pretty decent view I had from my seat![/caption]
Jeremy Borash handles the ring announcing duties for the evening, and up first is an X-Division match!
Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries
Ion really loves that hairspray, doesn’t he? These are two guys you want to have open your show and get the crowd going. And the crowd got going with chants of “Carlito” and “You’re not cool” directed at Zema Ion. Poor guy has no traits in common with Carly Colon other than the afro and the orange pants, and he’s got to hear this every night. The Buffalo faithful were solidly behind The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived, who picked up the victory with a brainbuster. After the match, JB gave a backstage pass to somebody who brought a sign in support of Aries.
Winner: Austin Aries
JB gives a big introduction to the most controversial referee in the history of professional wrestling, Earl Hebner, who, for some reason, comes out to “Man In The Box” by Alice In Chains, which is of course Tommy Dreamer’s old theme song. The Buffalo faithful get on Hebner’s case, chanting “You Screwed Bret.” JB holds Earl back as he looks to go after a few of them – but then he takes off his referee polo to reveal a t-shirt that says “Damn Right I Did!” Earl’s here to referee a Knockout’s Title match. Yes, that’s the same spot they did last year.
TNA Knockout’s Championship: Miss Tessmacher (c) vs. Gail Kim
Kim works over Tessmacher’s leg through the whole match, but Tessmacher manages to pick up the win with a neckbreaker out of nowhere to retain her title. Great match!
Winner & STILL Knockouts Champion, Miss Tessmacher
We’re told that the Spike TV cameras are rolling and that highlights of the following match will be seen next Thursday on Impact, as it’s a part of the Bound For Glory series! Mr. Anderson is introduced first, and he calls for his microphone to be lowered – in a roofless stadium. JB climbs up onto a chair and hands him a microphone, and he does his “asshole” schtick. He begins his introduction, but somebody yells out “Kennedy,” to which he replies, “oh no. No, that guy died in a train wreck. And you can still watch that train wreck every Monday night!” Burn! Anderson’s opponent is Samoa Joe, who is wearing his Nation of Violence gear again for some reason. Did I miss something?
Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe
The crowd started off very quiet for this one. I think it’s because they weren’t really sure who they wanted to root for. Eventually, they decided on rooting for Joe. This was another match, really worth the price of admission. All the usual spots are there, and in the end, it’s Joe with the Muscle Buster for the victory, and seven points in the BFG Series!
Winner: Samoa Joe (earns 7 points in the Bound For Glory Series)
And our next match is for the TNA Tag Team Championship! The former champions, Kazarian and Daniels come out first, and they cut a promo badmouthing Buffalo, with Kazarian saying that we don’t have a big league baseball team because there’s nothing big league about this town. Daniels is less harsh. He says that the fans are disappointments to their mothers, but the biggest disappointment is that Kurt Angle and AJ Styles are walking around with their tag team titles. Angle and Styles get their entrances, and we get our tag team title match.
TNA Tag Team Championship: Kurt Angle & AJ Styles (c) vs. Kazarian & Daniels
These are four of the best wrestlers in the entire industry, so you can imagine that they put on a great match. The crowd was mostly behind Angle & Styles, though a small “Angle Sucks” chant broke out in a very localized cluster in the stands. Styles picked up the win for the tag champs with a Styles Clash.
Winners & STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Kurt Angle
I didn’t catch the name of the guy pitching the merch this year, but he was good. Don West may be gone, but the Brown Bag Special remains. This year’s bag costs $30, but in the bag you get FOUR TNA DVDs and an Impact Wrestling t-shirt, which is where the bag used to stop, but this year they added in a random TNA action figure and a TNA 10th Anniversary program. Yes, that’s about $120 worth of stuff for $30. My wife surprised me and came back from a bathroom break with one – which she didn’t have to do, because I would have bought it myself. The pitchman mentioned a fan wearing a Triple H t-shirt, and told him he should buy a Brown Bag Special so he could get the Impact Wrestling shirt and “cover that hideous thing up.” Love the friendly little jabs at the competition tonight.
We return to action with another match in the Bound For Glory Series. Robbie E is introduced first, and enters to a chorus of “We Want Ryder” chants. James Storm makes his way out, and Robbie E grabs the microphone. He says that all the people in Buffalo came to watch him fist pump. For some reason, a “YES!” chant breaks out during this promo. Robbie E starts to dance and fist pump in the ring and offers Storm a chance to do the same. Storm says he doesn’t fist pump, he drinks beer. He makes a few jokes about Robbie’s pink ring gear and the fist printed on the ass of his tights. Robbie says he can chug beer. Storm challenges him to do so. Robbie starts sipping the beer, and Storm hits him with the Last Call. The bell rings.
Bound for Glory Series: “Cowboy” James Storm vs. Robbie E
Storm covers Robbie and pins him while sipping a beer. Seven points for The Cowboy!
Winner: James Storm (earns 7 points in the Bound For Glory Series)
It’s time for the main event of the evening, a match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. My wife screams her heart out as the challenger, Jeff Hardy, makes his way to the ring and poses for the crowd. The TNA Champion, Bobby Roode is introduced to a chorus of boos. Roode demands the proper respect to be shown to him, or he will leave and go back to Canada. Some fans bow down to the Champion, some point to the thruway just outside of the stadium that leads directly into Canada.
TNA World Championship: Bobby Roode (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
The fans are solidly behind Hardy in this one, and with good reason – Roode plays the cowardly heel to a T. “It factor?” Yeah, I’d say so. The crowd was definitely into this one, mostly chanting “Let’s Go Hardy.” At one point during the match, Roode and referee Brian Hebner got into a bit of a shoving match, which prompted a “Let’s Go Brian” chant. Speaking of, Hebner got knocked down, and Gunner ran in to attack Hardy, catching a Whisper In The Wind for his troubles, but Roode nailed Hardy with a low blow and picked up the pinfall victory to retain his title.
Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode
Hardy hit Roode with a Twist of Fate to end the show.
One of the cool things that TNA does, is after the show they allow fans to have a photo opportunity in the ring with one or more members of the TNA roster for a small price. Tonight it was Jeff Hardy, my wife’s favorite wrestler since she was a kid. The way this works is that you pay $20, and everybody that is with you can get in the ring and get their photo taken at the same time with Hardy. We couldn’t pass this up. They try to rush everybody through, and the line definitely moves very quickly, but Jeff was very cordial, taking a moment to give my wife a hug and shake my hand. When you get out of the ring, they have the photo waiting for you.[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] here’s mine![/caption]
We poke fun at TNA sometimes for inconsistent television here on BoredWrestlingFan from time to time, but one thing I cannot deny is that the live events are consistently entertaining. The two that I’ve been to have been some of the best live wrestling experiences I’ve had – and I’ve been to three WrestleManias. If the company brings a live event to your area, I definitely recommend checking it out – and bringing some extra dough to participate in some of the extracurricular stuff they have going on. Definitely worth it!
We see Immortal tell Gunner not to come back to the Impact Zone. We then cut to clips hyping the “little engine” Garett train and matches as he talks of his perserverance. Wonder Years interview reiterates this fact. This of course leads to a Eric Bischoff promo in the middle of the ring talking of his sadness that after Flair’s warning, Garett continues to pursue his passion. He makes a match, a tag team match between Gunner w/ partner vs Garett and a partner of his choosing.
“Surprisingly” Kurt Angle comes down and cuts a promo on Garett about listening to his father and how he listened to his father and he became an olympic gold medalist. Garett looks on backstage with disgust.
Sting is in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror. EY walks up on him as Sting’s cracking up. Asks to do something special for ODB, Sting after finally getting Roode’s name and Eric’s separate decides to treat ODB to a Knockouts Tag team title match. EY walks away baffled.
Knockout Tag Team Title match: Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs ODB/EY- Match starts with EY and Gail in the ring and when EY won’t hit Gail, ODB tags herself in. ODB does most of the heavy lifting throughout the match. Rayne and Gail trade tags after getting the upper hand on ODB. What happens next is a comedy of weird lewd situations. EY’s in the match and immediately grapples with Earl Hebner (ref) placing him in the corner. Gail runs up from behind only to hit the turn buckle. Eric props up Gail only to have Madison run at slam face first into Kim’s crotch. He sets them up for double airplane spins and attempts to pin Gail only to have Madison kick him. The girls getting the upper hand try to clothesline EY over the top rope only to run into ODB, who takes Madison with her outside. After Madison reverses a toss into the ring steps she grabs one of the belts and goes back in and hits EY with the belt. Eric lands on Gail in the missionary position with Earl counting the three making ODB and EY the new Knockout Tag Team champs.
After the match EY proposes to ODB who reverses the question and Eric says “yes!” To the roar of the crowd.
A man by the name of Joseph Parks talks with a sercurity guard about talking to iMPACT officials, Bully Ray cuts a promo on Storm backstage . And Austin Aries gets some disturbing news. Sting emailed him about taking on Zema Ion tonight. Aries goes on his internet smark routine about throwing hard earned money down the toilet by showing the X division title match on free television.
X Division Title Match: What can I say but this is a good match performed by superior athletes who aren’t given enough to do beats the Garett Bischoff saga by a mile. And then it ends when Austin Aries ducks hair spray to the face, turning the tables and spraying Ion in the face to get disqualified. Zema Ion wins so we still have the Victory Road PPV match. Take that Internet Smarks?!
We see Mary Sue, I mean Velvet Sky getting her hair did, when the mysterious Joseph Parks walks past questioning her. He asks about his brother Chris Parks better known as Abyss who’s been missing for some months. Velvet having no clue and surprised Abyss had a brother can’t help help Joseph. We get a jump cut to Bully Ray.
He wants a title shot since he has taken out James Storm. Calls out Sting to make the match. Sting who has paint coating his fingers, comes down. Sting won’t allow the match with causes Ray to demand a match for the world title. Sting gives Ray a shot at Bobby Roode. But. It will be after the break.
World Title Match: Bully Ray vs Bobby Roode (C) Roode has an argument with Sting in the back about defending the title, which Sting says “Who’s says its for the World Title?” prompting Bobby to head to the ring. Roode tries to talk down Ray who wants none of it and wants to fight. After calling Roode a punk the match starts to pick up steam. Ray and Roode trade blows with Bobby at one point bitch slapping the bully. Soon Roode gets the upper hand beating down Ray and taunting him with the trademark Ray horns. Eventually leading to Ray to power slap Bobby until he picks up momentum hitting rights and lefts and back body dropping the champ. Setting him him for the Bully bottom getting the two. Roode getting desparate goes for a spear and heads out of the ring to grab Rays wallet chain. He charges the Bully who meets him with a big boot. And just when Ray’s had enough he grabs his chain and is ready to beat Roode with it when out of the crowd comes James Storm , chasing off Ray. This all before he super kicks Roode and leaves him draped with the title unconscious.
Garett Bischoff is talking to Wonder Years Jason Hervey about being confident about tonight but won’t divulge who his partner is.
Crimson and Morgan are getting ready in the locker room when Joseph Park walks back asking about Abyss. Asks if they can point him in the right direction. Of course no one watches their own product and points them toward Ray but whatever. The slow heel turn of Crimson is still brewing as I assume creative really doesn’t have anyone to take on Joe/Morgan. Well besides Morgan/Crimson. They take on Robbie T and Robbie E for a #1′s contender’s match. Which is next.
Robbie T comes out looking uncomfortable with a pink and white striped sweater. Escorting slash accompanying Robbie E to the ring. Crimson and Morgan come out to a more comfortable attire ready to go to war. Robbie E comes in first to take a beating at the hands of Crimson as he goofs to the crowd. Realizing he can’t hand E tags in Robbie T who takes it to Crimson. Crimson starts to fight back as he reverses a choke slam, he heads back to charge T but E smacks him with the trademark clip board to the back. Allowing Robbie T to tag in Little Robbie for a double team maneuver. The talk of the undefeated streak is brought up as Robbie E flies from the top rope with a fist. He gets a one count. Then its Robbie E’s turn to get a chance at the streak as he takes a beating to Crimson finishing up with a front slam for two. Rob Terry soon breaks out in a pose down which back fires when Crimson slams him to the canvas. Both men are down as there tag partners anxiously wait on the apron. Each tags his respective partner leading to Morgan cleaning house. Morgan stacks up the challengers in the corner and splashes them. Matt clothesline Terry outside the ring and Carbon Footprints Robbie E leading to Crimson to tag himself in and pin Robbie for the win. Morgan is visibly upset.
AJ is talking about the ongoing feud with him and the rest of Fortune. Gunner cuts a promo with Kurt bragging about Olympic gold medalist.
AJ comes out and talks of the importance of the 10th anniversary of Impact Wrestling. And all the allies and enemies he made. Speaking of enemies Daniels and Kaz come to the ring. After a lengthy back and forth about friendship and how AJ is to blame for his friendlessness, Styles decides to only associate with — Assholes as Mr. Anderson makes his return. Together they beat on the heels.
Garett Bischoff heads to the back to talk to his tag team partner. Advertisement for Fan interaction at TNA.
Main Event time, Kurt and Gunner head down to the ring. Garett heads down followed by—Jeff Hardy wearing one of the most disturbing makeup he can find. Painting veins and eyes on your eyelids makes Sting’s make up look tame in comparison. The match gets under way when Gunner and Angle charge the faces from behind, tossing Bisch Jr. outside the ring and double teaming Jeff Hardy. Jeff is taking most of the beat down as the heels tag in and out. Garett wants pacing on the apron. Finally Hardy gets the hot tag, Garett comes in and clothesline’s Angle and then smacks Gunner off the apron. Garett is on fire as he goes to work on Angle and drop kicks Gunner off the apron again. Even hitting a neckbreaker variation on Angle. Soon the heels get the upper hand as they double team Garett, as the heels throw Garett into the ropes Jeff tags himself in. Garett hits a double clothesline allowing Hardy to hit the swanton bomb on Angle for the win.
What we have now in light of Russo’s release is a more focused show with as Eric Bischoff said has story that is planed way more in advance. Tonight wasn’t too bad and it seems Garett is getting a bigger push than ever so we’ll see coming to Lockdown.
Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.[caption id="attachment_4567" align="aligncenter" width="194" caption="Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay"][/caption]
We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?[caption id="attachment_4568" align="aligncenter" width="186" caption="I know. I know I will regret this later."][/caption]
We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.[caption id="attachment_4569" align="aligncenter" width="235" caption="Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick"][/caption]
Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife. Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5′s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)[caption id="attachment_4570" align="alignleft" width="114" caption="She slept with the owner of the company,"][/caption]
Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.
Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title. Crimson returns.
Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with[caption id="attachment_4571" align="alignright" width="114" caption="She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?"][/caption]
her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.[caption id="attachment_4572" align="aligncenter" width="183" caption="Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance"][/caption]
Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.
Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.
Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.
Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.[caption id="attachment_4573" align="aligncenter" width="201" caption="Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?"][/caption]
Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.
Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.[caption id="attachment_4574" align="aligncenter" width="231" caption="You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it."][/caption]
So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.
Because I don’t feel like watching the show, here’s the results courtesy of PWInsider!
Click to continue reading “TNA iMPACT results 3/29/10″
Click to continue reading “"No Surrender" 2009″
WELCOME TO iMPACT! ThinkSoJoE here, covering the earlygoing of this week’s episode, where we’ll see Dixie Carter on television for the first time! The Empress of iMPACT will be along shortly, but I’ve got the opening segment. Ready kids? Time to CROSS THE LINE!
Previously: Kurt Angle has had his problems with Kurt Angle and the Knockouts get their own tag division
Lauren meets up with Sting and AJ Styles as they pull up to the arena, and she asks AJ about his retirement announcement last week. He says he’s got his gear. Sting says TNA is growing up. Kyp James asks if Sting needs him to park his car. Sting says he doesn’t have to. Kyp says he used to have a car like that. Lauren asks him when. He says when he was over.
Dixie Carter will be joined by Bobby Lashley, and AJ Styles makes his return to the ring in our main event. Mike Tenay, Taz, and Daniels are ringside, and Daniels says he just wanted a good seat as the X-Division Champion is in action.
The following contest is set for one fall – introducing first, SUICIDE! His opponent, representing the Nation of Violence, the TNA X-Division Champion, The Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe!
Match #1: Samoa Joe vs. Suicide goes to a no contest
Suicide has some unique offense – and I say this because I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to one of his matches. The Pope, D’Angelo Dinero hits the ring in the middle of the match, and all hell breaks loose, as this match ends in a no contest.
Earl Hebner apparently has booking authority in TNA, because he makes a match for later tonight pitting Suicide and Daniels against Samoa Joe and D’Angelo Dinero
Lauren is standing by with Eric Young. Last week, Young interrupted a Hernandez interview. Does he really think there’s a chance Hernandez joins the World Elite? Young says there’s no chance. No possibility – but there is a guarantee. He’s a foreigner to these people, just like Eric Young is. Tonight, Young will open Hernandez’s eyes.
TNA is doing the stupid “Did you Know” things now – but they’re calling it “For The Record.”
The World Elite is in the ring, and Eric Young has a microphone. He’s going to hand it to Bashir, since he’s got something to say to the American public. The fans chant “USA,” despite the fact that Bashir is from Detroit. He takes off his headgear to eliminate any pre-conceived notions of him, and he’d like to talk about the War in Iraq. May 3, 2003, George Bush goes over and says “Mission Accomplished.” Six years later, if we’re no longer at war, than what is killing hundreds of his brothers and sisters every day? Innocent men and women, innocent children. It’s a world we know nothing about. We don’t want to stop terrorism. We’re junkies, addicts for their oil. We’re jonesing for our cars to be bigger. Our blood is itching for our country to be the richest in the world again. We all know it. Bashir thanks us for our time.
Eric Young says he wants to talk about somebody who’s handcuffed – handcuffed by his corrupt morals. He wants to talk about Hernandez.
Young doesn’t have to wait long – SuperMex makes his way to the ring, microphone in hand. Hernandez says that if Young has something to say, he can say it to his face. Young says he wouldn’t have it any other way, brother. How many times has Hernandez come down draped in the colors of Mexico? Did they honor that? Did they respect that? These people will never respect him. He’ll never be treated as an equal. To the fans, he’s always going to be a foreigner. They’ll stereotype him and view him like they’ve always viewed him – like a common criminal, a street thug, a good for nothing thief. Is that what Hernandez is about? Young knows it’s not, so he needs to come home. The fans chant “Kick his ass.” Young says to come home and be elite. He needs to join the World Elite. Hernandez says he is home. The fans are his family, and they want Young to understand one thing – this is our country. You either love it, or don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. Young stands there with a stupid smirk on his face.
Backstage, Lauren interviews Sharmell and Tracy, who will be facing Kong and Saeed in the first round. The Main Event Mafia representatives are elite females in the wrestling radio – they’re not only going to win tonight, they’ll roll all over Kong and Saeed’s fat asses.
Your Empress of “Impact” has returned! Many thanks to ThinkSoJoe for covering the start of the show for me.
To the back! Lauren tries to talk about the Knockoputs tag team match coming up, but Alex Shelley focuses the camera on her breasts instead. Dr. Stevie approaches, and tells the MCMG that if they want to get serious, he’ll pay them $50,000 cash to end Abyss’s career. The Guns accept. Lauren is appalled.
Traci and Sharmell vs. Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed: This was the first round of the Knockouts Tag Team tournament. Saeed dominated early on, and though Traci does most of the work for the MEM team, both she and Sharmell avoid Kong. Kong tags in and levels Traci with several clotheslines. Kong hits Traci with a splash from the second rope, and goes for the pin, but Sharmell breaks up the count. Kong goes after Sharmell, but Saeed tags herself in, and covers the still-prone Traci. Kong and Saeed get the win, and advance in the tournament.
Video recap of the Kurt Angle/Matt Morgan situation.
Matt Morgan enters the MEM locker room alone (well, with JB). The rest of the MEM, particularly Booker, start yelling at him, but Morgan and Angle argue over experience in the business. Morgan asks if Angle plans to team him up with Booker and Steiner to teach him another lesson, and Angle concurs. Morgan asks if Dixie Carter approved of it. Angle says yes, that he talked to her earlier. Morgan points out that Carter is present tonight, and talks up a four-way World Heavyweight title match involving himself, Angle, and two others. Morgan will have Angle’s back, just like Angle had Morgan’s at “Hard Justice” and on last week’s show. Morgan hugs Angle and calls him “little buddy” before leaving. Morgan was awesome here!
Video package of Rhino and Jesse Neal in training.
Rhino vs. Jesse Neal:Rhino tries to shake hands with Jesse Neal, but kicks him in the gut and drives him into the corner with a barrage of punches and forearms. Rhino completely dominates Neal, choking him in th eropes and kicking him in the head, but Neal kicks out at two. Rhino hits a big spinebuster, and gets the three-count. Rhino wins. Neal’s head is bleeding. Post-match, Rhino Gores Neal flat. The referee reverses the decision after seeing Rhino’s actions, and announces Neal as the winner. Rhino continues to beat Neal down, but Brother Devon makes the save and stares down Rhino.
To the back! JB is with ODB and Cody Deaner. After JB’s assurance that Mick Foley takes his cases very seriously, Foley is shown wearing a judge’s wig and carrying a gavel. Abyss interrupts, returning Foley’s bat. Foley gives Abyss a bag of groceries, and wishes him luck in his match with the Guns. “Take it easy on Alex Shelley, my kids love that guy.” ODB claims that it’s the women’s title, and that Deaner doesn’t even look like a woman. Deaner shows evidence of beating up Mike Tyson and Chuck Norris. Foley decides to hold up the Knockouts title until the next ppv, where ODB and Cody Deaner will fight for it. This is crap.
Abyss vs. the Motor City Machine Guns: The Guns want the cash, Abyss just wants to eat. Dr. Stevie accompanies the Guns. Abyss and his street clothes hoddie are next. Sabin grabs Abyss’s legs while Shelley rushes Abyss from the front. They double team him, but Abyss counters and DDTs them both. Abyss chokeslams Sabin onto Shelley. Sabin lands a running Yaskuza kick on Abyss. The Guns follow up with another double team, and Abyss rolls to the outside. Shelley dives over the top rope in a cross body, but Abyss catches him. Sabin hits a suicide dive and knocks Abyss down. Abyss catches Shelley up on his shoulders, and kicks Sabin in the face when he tries to make the save. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment on Shelley while dropping a leg on Sabin. Sabin goes for a tornado DDT on Abyss from the top rope, but Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Sabin for the win. Post-match, Dr. Stevie berates the Guns and shoves them. The Guns retaliate with double team kicks to Dr. Stevie, hang him in the Tree of Woe, and hit him with a Hesitation Dropkick/super kick combination. Abyss applauds this. Abyss grabs a steel chair, and as the Guns leave, they encourage him to attack Dr. Stevie with it. Before Abyss can enter the ring, Kevin nash’s music hits, and the Old Man wanders down to the ring.
Nash accepts the bounty on Abyss, and claims that Abyss had stuck his nose in Nash’s business. Nash and Abyss will go at the next ppv, with the bounty on the line.
To the back! Lauren interviews Daffney about wrestling a debuting Hamada. Daffney relies on the violence. She counts sheep, but doesn’t like them to jump the fence. She drains their blood, skins them, and wears them to the supermarket. GOLD!
Daffney vs. Hamada: This is a “No DQ” match. Daffney starts with punches and they trade chest chops. Hamada kicks and stomps Daffney in the corner. Hamada throws Daffney over the top rope, but Daffney lands on the apron. Hamada hits a spinning heel kick to the head and knocks Daffney from the apron to the floor. When we return from the commercial break, Hamada has set up a table on the floor outside. Hamada hits a jumping enziguri, several headbutts, and a jumping DDT, but Daffney kicks out at two. Daffney hits a kick, but Hamada kicks out at two. Daffney stomps Hamada, and gets a chair. She swings it at Hamada, but misses and hits the ring post. Hamada puts the chair around Daffney’s head and throws her into the ringpost. She lays Daffney on the table and hits a huge Asai moonsault from the top turnbuckle, putting Daffney through the table. She drags Daffney into the ring and hits the Hamada Driver for the win.
Backstage, The Beautiful People are hunting Madison Rayne.
Angelina Love andVelvet Sky force their way past JB and into a dressing room where Madison Rayne is alone. They get in Rayne’s face about costing Love the Knockouts title, and the upcoming ass-kicking that Rayne will get from them. Rayne and a mystery partner take on TBP. Rayne shoves TBP, and they kick the crap out of her.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero and Samoa Joe vs. Suicide and Daniels: This match follows up the opening match with no ending. Anyone who can find the joke about “The Pope” feuding with Suicide, please share it. I know that it’s there. Joe and Suicide start. Joe targets Suicide’s arm. Dinero tags in, and goes after Suicide, but Daniels helps double team Dinero, and then tags in. Daniels and Dinero go. Massive chants of “Pope is pimpin’!” We go to commercial break. When we return from the commercial break, Joe and Daniels are trading punches. Daniels hits the judo takedown. Dinero and Suicide tag in. Joe and Daniels involve themselves. Joe goes to the outside, and Daniels hits the split-legged moonsault from the top rope onto Joe. In the ring, Dinero pulls down his knee pads, and sets up for the running double knee strike that took out Creed last week. Suicide dodges and Dinero hits the ringpost. Suicide covers Dinero and gets the win. Daniels and Suicide celebrate outside, while Joe and Dinero look on with shock from the ring.
To the interview! Dixie Carter and Bobby Lashley sit on a couch, and JB asks a few questions. Dixie announces the new three-year extension deal between TNA and Spike TV. Lashley says that his plans are to have equal success in MMA and TNA. Dixie talks up Lashley as though he is the only person TNA needs on the roster. She wants to see him with world titles on both shoulders, one from MMA and one from TNA. Dixie announces that Lashley’s ppv debut will be against Rhino. Thanks for giving away the result!
Hey, look! It’s Kurt Angle! He makes his way to the announce table and joins Mike Tenay and Taz. Angle talks up Morgan’s lack of experience.
Matt Morgan, Scott Steiner, and Booker T vs. Hernandez, AJ Styles, and Sting: Massive “AJ! AJ!” chants. Sting and Booker T start. Yawn. I despise Booker T with an unholy fiery passion of burning. Not in a heel heat way. In a “Please fall in front of a bus filled with nitroglycerine” way. Steiner and AJ go, and AJ levels Steiner with a drop kick. AJ tags in Hernandez. Hernandez wants Morgan. They charge each other twice. The third time, Morgan drops Hernandez with a clothesline. Hernandez gets Morgan in a long delayed suplex, and takes him down. Morgan rolls to the outside, where Booker and Steiner take him to task for leaving. Sting and AJ pull down the top rope as Hernandez flies over the top rope and takes out all three guys on the floor. When we return from the commercial break, Steiner and AJ are in the ring. Steiner outpowers AJ and throws him over in a suplex, but AJ kicks out at two. Morgan tags in, and continues to isolate AJ. AJ manages to roll past Morgan and tag in Hernandez. Hernandez hits a shoulder block on Morgan. The match breaks down, with everyone fighting. Morgan kicks Hernandez in the gut, and goes to take him up for the Hellavator. Steiner enters the ring with a chair, but Morgan refuses to let him get involved or use it. This allows Hernandez to get away and tag in AJ, who takes down Morgan and gets the three-count. Post-match, Steiner and Booker get in Morgan’s face and berate him. Morgan starts to walk off with them, but levels Booker and Steiner with clotheslines instead. He points at Angle, and gestures that he was thinking. It will be Angle defending the World Heavyweight title against Morgan and two others as yet unchosen in the main event of the ppv.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Hamada debuting against Daffney was good. The concept of an international talent requesting a “No DQ” match for her debut is cool. Daffney’s promo was great, but (as The Green Teabagger said) crazy people don’t know that they’re crazy. Daffney’s one flaw is that she mentions being crazy too often. If Nash collects the bounty on Abyss, I’m breaking something. Once again, a near-cripple who can barely walk ends up fairly high up on the ppv card, while others much more deserving are not. Who is Madison Rayne’s mystery partner? Supposedly, it’s someone we’ll all recognize. I’m intrigued. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero is looking great, but shouldn’t a street preacher get promo time? Dixie’s praise of Lashley was awkward, and a bit too much, almost as if no one else besides Angle and Lashley even needs to be on the TNA roster. Lashley is still terrible on the mic, even in a sit-down interview from a couch. Chris Sabin got tv time. Hooray!!! The Motor City Machine Guns actually had a match. More hooray!!!However, a tag team losing to one guy, even when that one guy is the “Monster” of the company, only makes the tag team look weak. Matt Morgan gave the best promo of his career in the MEM locker room, and the Morgan/Hernandez segment of the main event is the kind of thing of which we should see more in TNA. All in all, a good show. I’m curious to see where things go from here.
It’s line-crossing time with your Empress of “Impact,” so away we go!
“Welcome Back, Jeffrey.”
Anyone claiming NOT to hear the theme song from “Welcome Back, Kotter” playing in his head upon seeing this title is a dirty pirate hooker. And a liar.
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Tonight’s episode is titled “Foley Fires Up Founder.” Why do I think of the skinny little speed freak bad guy from “The Crow,” who kept yelling, “Fire it up!Fire it up?” Ah, well.
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