Tag Archive: Great Kahli

  1. RYTMAN’S RECAP: RAW 04/16/2013

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    So just a basic recap today, rough morning.

    Let’s start with…

    MATCH RESULTS

    ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF. BIG SHOW (HANDICAP MATCH) – A pointless rematch from Friday.  Brogue Kick + RKO = Three count.

    Rytman Remark: You know, neither Orton or Sheamus are THAT much smaller than the big show.  The two of them beating him, is like either of them losing to two normal sized guys.

    KOFI KINGSTON DEF. ANTONIO CESARO (NEW U.S. CHAMPION) – Match wastes no time in going into a spot-fest.  Kingston rolls out of a sun-set flip, rolls Cesaro backwards into a standing position and hits “Trouble In Paradise” for the three-count and the title.

    Rytman Remark: Remember when WWE first ventured out into video games? And how they followed the normal 2-D, side-scrolling fighter format? (I’m thinking Street Fighter, Mortal Combat.) This match was like that, entertaining, but no real story.

    WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS – The PTP’s are almost completely jobbed out here.  Choke-slam/flying head-butt combo wins this for the champs.

    Rytman Remark: The commentator spent this match making jokes about goats in reference to Bryan’s beard, because there was nothing else really to talk about.

    R-TRUTH DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT (NON-TITLE) R-Truth wins it by grabbing Barrett by the head and dropping him face-first to the mat.  (The Little Jimmy?) After the match, Truth looks just as surprised as the rest of us.

    Rytman Remark: There MIGHT be a point to this loss.  WWE has a Battle Royal set up for Main Event this Wednesday, to name a #1 contender to Barrett’s belt.  If R-Truth wins, it’ll cement the seed planted here.

    RHODES SCHOLLARS (Sandow/Cody) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA/GREAT KAHLI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)– Santino gets the Cobra on Sandow and chases off Cody.  Horny-dawg (yes, I am going to call him that if I want to,) tries to “cobra” Cody.  Cody gets rough with him.  Khalil comes to the rescue, and Santino gets pinned because he’s not watching Sandow.  School-boy, for the three.

    Rytman Remark: ( face-palm..)

    …

    …

    …

    JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E.) – A hard fought match with Ziggler picking up some fan support, but Swagger getting the three-count out of nowhere by dropping Ziggler throat-first into the top rope.

    NIKKI BELLA (W/BRE) DEF. WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLYN – Nikki’s game-plan is to keep taking Kaitlyn’s legs out from under her.  Kaitlyn hits the stomach-breaker, but Bree switches w/sis to steal a three count.

    Rytman Remark: In order…

    1. So, we’re just dropping that whole thing w/Laya wanting a title shot? After like more than a month of slow build? And Tamina? Just nothing? Cena & Bryan’s girlfriends to the front of the line?
    2. Twin Magic? With two girls that look NOTHING ALIKE ANYMORE?
    3. In fairness, this match did not suck anywhere near as much as it should’ve.

     

    Okay, now we look at…

    STORYLINES/ANGLES

    1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH – 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal,) came out first, calling out the Shield, demanding an apology for the beating on Smackdown.  Instead, they got another beating, from BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK LESNARRRRRRRR!  It ends w/Slater takes two F-5’s to the barricade.

    Crowd: One more time!  One more time!  One more time!

    Paul Heyman gets control of Lesnar, gets him in the ring, and gets the mike.  He gives Triple H credit for knocking out Lesnar, calling him a “Warrior, worthy of admiration.” Heyman says the score is “one and one,” and it’s “time to get extreme.” He challenges Trips to meet Lesnar in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules and has “two words,” for Trips…

    “Challenge, Issued.” – Paul Heyman

    2.) ZIGGLER/DEL RIO: WHY WASTE TIME BUILDING THE CHAMP? – Dolph Ziggler comes out with the “Dolph-tourage,” (Copyright: Robert Rytman,) to brag about his title win.  Alberto Del Rio comes out with a still hurt Roberto Rodriguez and his left leg taped up.  He gets in the ring and demands his rematch now!  Before the match begins, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter come out, claiming Swagger deserves the credit for Dolph’s win and deserves the shot more than Del Rio.  Swagger gets on the apron and ADR gets in a shot to Swagger’s face.  Big E. gets between Del Rio and Ziggler, but Swagger grabs ADR’s leg and works it over in the corner, wrapping it around the ring post and pounding away on it.

    Later in the show, we’re in Vicki Guerro’s office.  She and her assistant, Brad Maddox are discussing things, when Teddy Long comes in.  Apparently he’s taken it on himself to book Ziggler vs. Swagger and he’s given Swagger some “extra incentive,” to compete.  Vicki likes the idea.  Maddox tells Teddy to go tell someone.  Teddy says it’s not his job.  Vicki tells Brad to do it.

    After Swagger’s win, (see above,) Del Rio attacks Swagger and goes after the arm.  Officials break it up and Del Rio stands tall.

    Rytman Remark: Okay, I’m thinking this angle is the one getting rushed.  Having Del Rio demand a rematch while he’s still hurt makes him look more like a fool then a fighter.  Why not do a Ziggler/Swagger program and save Del Rio for next month?

    3.) FAHHHN-DAHHHN-GOING-GOING-GONE! – FANDANGO comes out to be interviewed by Lawler.  When Fandango asks Lawler about moving his hips, Lawler decides to move his hips back to the announcers table.  Fandango tries to get the crowd “Fandangoing,” with mixed results.  A few minutes of this and Fandango tells the crowd to go “Fandango” themselves.

    Rytman Remark: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF “FANDANGOING!”

    4.)  SHEAMUS/HENRY: IRISH CREAMED! (NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!) – Matt Striker is backstage interviewing Sheamus when Henry bull-rushes him down for the second time since last Friday.

    Later in the show, we get an announcement for Smack-Down this Friday.  Team White-snake (Sheamus/Orton) vs. Big Show and Mark Henry.

    Rytman Remark: And we couldn’t do this match tonight because?…

    5.) C.M. PUNK: PUNK OUT? – C.M. Punk came out with Heyman.  Punk talks about how he could never enjoy what he has at the time, because he’s always looking “around the corner” for the next hurdle, how after holding the title for more than 400 days, he went right after the Undertaker’s streak.  In the middle of the promo, the crowd starts a dueling chant for him and the Taker.  Punk goes flat.  His eyes, his posture, it becomes that of a man crushed.  Punk hugs Paul, gives him the mike, and limps off, bypassing the stage and going right for the exit.

    Rytman Remark: I am aware that Punk is taking the time off to heal up.  However, I’m giving him credit for his performance.  He came off like he really did “lose his smile,” and if you wanted to start retirement rumors (or an angle,) you could easily use this promo.  I’m predicting a HUGE comeback for Punk – maybe even a face turn – when WWE realizes how much they miss him.

    6.) BOOKER T/TEDDY LONG: CLASH OF THE TITANS (KINDA) – Backstage, Booker T is NOT happy with Teddy Long going over his head.  He makes the match at Extreme Rules a three-way for the title and tells Teddy to “handle his business.”

    Rytman Remark: I’m glad Teddy’s getting to assert himself, as opposed to being a constantly put-upon errand boy, but do we need ANOTHER POWER STRUGGLE ANGLE!? GOOD GRIEF!

    Side Note: I heard Michael Cole on one of the shows, talking about Booker T letting the HOF honor go to his head, and how that may be contributing to his problems with Teddy.  Guys, Booker is NOT the one coming off as a heel in this.

    7.) CENA/RYBACK: CONTINUITY! (BOOM) PART 2– All night we’re teased with Ryback speaking out tonight about his actions.  Striker has Cena backstage, where he comes out to almost NO reaction.  Cena says he’ll be in the ring with a yellow shirt and his WWE title and he will confront Ryback tonight.

    Ryback has his say in a pre-taped promo.  Ryback starts by comparing his spot with Cena’s after Mania.  Cena was on top, Ryback was on the bottom.  Only one place each for them to go.  Ryback goes over his past few months in WWE.  He credits Cena as a friend and mentor, even mentioning last October when Cena nominated him for a shot at the WWE title.  Ryback then goes over his feud with the Shield and Mark Henry, pointing out how Cena never came to help him out when he was jumped by the Shield, but he almost always had Cena’s back when he was jumped.

    “I am not an afterthought. I am not a sidekick. … If you were Superman, say hello to Kryptonite!” – Ryback

    He says being Cena’s “friend” meant staying in his shadow, and he’s not staying there anymore.

    Our “main event” for the evening is Cena calling out Ryback.

    “This week, I say you make a move, and see if you have what it takes to EARN a championship!” – John Cena

    Ryback backs down and walks away.

    SIERRA,HOTEL/INDIA/ECHO/LIMA/DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD!

    The Shield come down to the ring and surround Cena.  They hold back, waiting to see what Ryback will do.

    Ryback walks off, and RAW ends with a Shield beat-down on Cena.

    Side Note: We caught a second of the Shield in the “Gorilla” position by accident, which kinda gave it away.

    So, you know someone lost a job.

    Rytman Remark: Best Ryback Promo Ever.  The guy knocked it out of the park, in regards to setting himself up as bitter/jealous.  I commend whoever it was, that figured out how to string Ryback’s past booking together into a cohesive narrative.  If you entertain the notion that this was the game plan all along, it explains why WWE booked him as a choke-artist.  It gives him motive to turn bitter and blame Cena.

    Here’s the problem…

    If you want to call out Cena for not doing a run-in, you’re going to have to call out the ENTIRE WWE for not running in and helping out their “friends.” In the past year, building to Mania, the only person I’ve seen run-in to save someone from a beating was R-Truth helping out Kofi Kingston when he came back.  I’m aware that Orton/Sheamus/and Big Show did run-ins w/each other during their feud w/the Shield, but that was under the premise of a common enemy, not “friendship.”

    Rytman’s Review: Okay, not an earth-shattering RAW by any means, but an effective place-holder-episode. “Auto-pilot” isn’t always a bad idea, if it keeps things moving.  This RAW did it’s job, setting up the next PPV.  And speaking for myself, I appreciate keeping the drama brief.

  2. RYTMAN’S REVIEW: WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW 11/26/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF. TITUS O’NEIL – Total domination by Ryback, until Darien Young interfered by grabbing Ryback’s ankle.  O’Neil hit one inverted Power Bomb for a brief one-count. Still, the match ended the same way all Ryback matches end; power-bomb, shell-shock, three-count.

    After the match, Ryback refused to leave the ring until he got his hands on WWE Heavyweight Champion C.M. Punk, Paul Heyman, or the three men who jumped him two days in a row.  A line of security guards come-out, but Ryback tossed the biggest one first, and the rest scattered.

    RAW Supervisor Vicki Guerro came out to order him out of the ring, Ryback told her to shut up (which won him a ton of new fans,) and demanded revenge.  Vicki gave him a match against Punk at TLC.  Ryback demanded that it be made a TLC match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.) Vicki agreed, and Ryback left the ring.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. THE GREAT KAHLI – This match was set up with a pre-recorded backstage segment, where Rosa Mendes demanded an apology from Hornswoggle, for squirting water in her face, with trick flowers last week.  Hornswoggle called her conceited, and Alberto Del Rio stepped in, offering to beat him up.  Kahli stepped in to scare him off.  Kahli actually dominates most of the match, but a distraction by Roberto Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) sets up Kahli for an attack from behind.  Del Rio hits the arm-bar for a win by submission.

    TAMINA DEF. ALICIA FOX – Basically, Tamina slaps Alicia around and ends this with a splash of the top, for a three-count.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF. TENSAI – Wade Barrett, Kofi’s next challenger, Wade Barrett joins the commentary team at ringside.  Tensai’s size advantage gives him an edge for a good amount of time, but Kofi hits a big kick and a flying body press for the three-count.

    After the match, Barrett walked into the ring, gave Kofi the title belt, and then walked off without incident.

    REY MYSTERIO DEF. WWE TAG-TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN – One of the best matches on TV this year.  Both men relied on their agility and quick last-second escapes and counters to keep the tide turning back and forth.  Bryan focused on beat-downs and wearing down the arm, Mysterio countered with bursts of fast-paced offense.  Match ends with a 619/Dropping a Dime combo by Mysterio for a pin on Bryan.

    JOHN CENA DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER – This match was set up after a segment with Vicki Guerro offering Cena and AJ matching bathrobes (see below.) People, who criticize Cena for his “five moves of doom,” need to acknowledge Ziggler does the same thing (if not everybody in WWE,).  That said, this was a good, solid match.  One point of contention is Cena NO-SELLING the “bad knee,” until a specific spot at the end.  Going for the “five knuckle shuffle,” Cena stumbles out of the ring, the ref and another WWE official check to see if he can continue, while Ziggler exposes a turnbuckle.  AJ runs out to stop him and Vicki runs out to pull AJ off the ring.  The ladies have a stare-down while Ziggler goes after Cena with his MiTB briefcase.  Cena ducks Ziggler’s swing and hooks the “AA,” for a three-count.  Cena celebrates with AJ, FORGETTING ALL ABOUT THE BAD KNEE.

    SHEAMUS DEF. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO – This was a straight up brawl between two big workhorses.  Highlight of the match is Cesaro catching Sheamus and hoisting him up, and dropping him hard.  Picture a combo of Lex Luger’s “torture rack” and Ryback’s “Shell-Shock.” Match ends with Sheamus escaping the “neutralizer” with a back-drop and a Brogue-kick to Cesaro.  Cesaro goes out to the floor and gets counted out.

    World Heavyweight Champion Big Show comes out with a chair.  Sheamus grabs the mike and tells Big Show he will be happy to retire him at TLC, and just how barbaric he can be.  Show responds by destroying the chair with his bare hands.

    DAMIEN SANDOW DEF. ZACK RYDER – Not much more than filler.  Ryder had a decent showing here, but the match ends with Sandow using his neck-breaker variant to get the three-count.

    Side Note: Ring announcer Justin Roberts waited for Zack Ryder to get in the ring before announcing him, Michael Cole slipped back into “heel” mode to give him grief about it.

    WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION C.M. PUNK DEF. KANE – Our Main Event for the evening.  And yes, this did take the show over three hours, again.  There is a weird spot in the match when Punk slides to the outside, and starts favoring his right knee.  Kane was as close to Punk as THESEWORDSARETOEACHOTHER but did NOTHING to him.  Kane let Punk slide back in and pull him neck first into the top rope.  Now here’s the weird thing, the announcers (Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler,) never acknowledged ANY of this, even though Punk was right in front of the camera, limping and acting like he was hurt for real the whole time.  It’s weird because this is, to my understanding, standard procedure when someone gets legit hurt during a match, gloss over it, don’t call it, and keep the show going.  So, I have to wonder if Punk really was hurt.  The match ended when the three NXT talents, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Reigns (now called “The Shield”) came out to distract Kane.  Punk hit the GTS and got the three.

    After the match, the Shield teased going for Punk, but pilled on Kane.  Daniel Bryan tried to make the save, but got beat down.  Ryback charged down and took over on the Shield.  Punk took a cheap shot at Ryback, but Ryback caught him.  Ryback went for a power-bomb, but Reigns took him down with a spear.  Monday Night RAW ends with C.M. Punk holding his belt in the air; and his foot on Ryback’s chest; for the second time in a week.

     

    ANGLES AND SEGMENTS

    1.) RYBACK/VICKI – Our first interview segment would have to be Vicki Guerro trying to talk Ryback out of the ring after his match (setting up his match w/Punk at TLC.) Not a shining moment for either one of them.  Huge gaps between the dialogue and you could tell they didn’t talk over each other when they were supposed to.  Seriously, don’t give Ryback more lines than he needs.

    2.) Backstage: Hornswoggle, Rosa, Del Rio, and KHALI – Basic segment just to set up their match, seemed pretty damn elaborate for a match that wasn’t anything special.

    3.) GM’S OFFICE: VICKI, HEYMAN, PUNK – Punk came in to complain about having to face Ryback, Heyman suggested Vicki was trying to compensate for her bias against Cena and AJ, and Vicki flat out accused Punk of calling in the “Shield” to cover his ass.  Vicki sets up a match between Punk and the winner of a RAW-active Twitter Poll, #WWEKane or #WWEBryan (see above.) Interesting to see Punk get the shaft from a “fellow” heel; it gives Vicki an extra character dimension, and it makes you wonder what it is EVERYBODY hates about Punk.

    4.) THE SHEILD SPEAKS – We see a pre-recorded interview with Michael Cole and the three NXT talents who’ve taken it on themselves to attack Ryback twice, (Ambrose, Rollin, and Reigns.) They deny any affiliation with C.M. Punk, and claim they were acting against injustice.  They accused WWE of being an elaborate popularity contest, and stated that C.M. Punk had every right to celebrate his One Year anniversary as champion, arguing they would’ve done the same thing if Ryback or Cena had been champion and Punk tried to disrupt them.  They declared themselves The Shield and cut the interview short.  Interesting aspect; as the Shield’s mission statement seems to have themes in common with the IWC’s constant complaints about WWE.

    5.)  VICKI, CENA, AJ, AND ZIGGLER – Basically, Cena comes out to address the “kiss” from last week.  Vicki comes out to trash AJ and present Cena with a “gift,” of matching bathrobes and to warn Cena about the inevitable implosion.  She points out AJ’s relationship drama with Punk/Bryan and Kane.  AJ comes out to tell off Vicki and blatantly shoves her attraction to Cena in everyone’s face.  Ziggler comes out to remind everyone that he took out Cena last week in the locker room, and Cena jumped him from behind on Smackdown.  Cena tries to go after him, but Vicki orders him to stop and makes a match between Ziggler and Cena later that night.  The match ends with Cena getting the win. CAN WE END THIS NOW!? I am PRAYING that this is the end of the AJ “scandal,” and I will spend the rest of my life wondering WTF this was supposed to accomplish.

    On paper, this was a good RAW, with a lot more actual wrestling and a lot of solid match-ups, however the angle segments really weighted down the show.