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And away we go!

In recent years, the National Football League has garnered a reputation as the “No Fun League.” From banning excessive touchdown celebrations to cracking down on tailgating and drinking at games, the NFL has certainly earned that moniker. Total Nonstop Action wrestling earned themselves a similar name from the fans at their “Impact Zone” in Orlando, FL. A speech from TNA Director of Production Steve Small left some fans chanting “Totally No Fun” at a recent taping of TNA’s weekly television program, “TNA iMPACT!”

In his speech, Small referred to the TNA fans as “cast members” and advised them against cursing, “flipping birds” and throwing up gang signs.  Small announced that anybody caught on camera making such gestures or holding up signs deemed offensive to the company will be moved elsewhere.

So, does Small’s speech make TNA just as bad as, or perhaps worse than, the NFL?

Referring to the fans as “cast members” – which earned a few screams of “pay us, then” and “where’s our checks?” – is certainly a little odd.  At least the NFL hasn’t sunk to that level.  While it stands to reason that the TNA fans are more a part of the show than NFL fans, they’re still there to have a good time and enjoy the show.  The TNA fanbase have been an integral part of the show for the last 8 years, and to take away their ability to express themselves could hurt the product as a whole.

Apparently, the catalyst for this newfound censorship of the TNA audience was their live “iMPACT” broadcast on January 4, 2010 where fans chanted “bullshit” at the outcome of a match.  The fans were audibly upset when TNA wrestler Homicide caused a hotly contested “Steel Asylum” match to end in a no contest when he used a weapon to try to take out his opponents.  The audio was censored altogether on the program and only ended when popular wrestler Jeff Hardy emerged from the audience.

Will TNA’s censorship of it’s “cast members” in the audience result in a fan backlash against the product?  I’m sure we’ll find out in time.

-30-

Tonight was I think the BIGGEST night in wrestling history in over ten years. Im proud to be apart of the BWF Family and im proud to be brining you iMPACT results so here we go…

The show kicks off with a hype video covering the history of TNA all the way up until the Hogan signing. Really great way to start the show especially for fans that haven’t seen Impact yet. We then cut to the Impact opening and it’s a new opening for this week.

The pyro goes off inside the Impact Zone and we are live! Over at the announce table Mike Tenay & Taz hype up the show for tonight and they talk about how electric it feels in the Impact Zone, and it is VERY loud. They run down the card which will feature the Steel Asylum for the very first time ever on Spike TV! Also, ODB gets a shot at the Knockouts Title and Tara. Rhino will face Abyss in Barbed Wire Massacre III! Beer Money faces the British Invasion in Full Metal Mayhem as well! Tenay and Taz say that Bubba the Love Sponge is now part of the TNA broadcast team and we cut earlier today with Bubba talking to fans outside the Impact Zone. The fans talk about what they expect from the Hulk Hogan signing. One guy actually has TNA tattooed on his arm, wow. And now we’re going to get right into the Steel Asylum!

Non-Title
Steel Asylum Match
Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. “Notorious 1-8-7” Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
Mike Tenay points out how there are 3 teams in this match and only Suicide & Amazing Red aren’t members of a tag team. Red’s X-Division Title is NOT on the line in this match. Those that don’t know the way to win this match is to escape the whole at the top of the cage! Suicide quickly tries to climb the cage as everybody starts going at it but Red joins him on the top rope and stops him. Lethal Consequences with a backbreaker and then a Russian Legsweep and Lethal holds Homicide in a Camel Clutch and then Creed hits a Sliding Dropkick. Lethal and Sabin are both climbing the cage but Kiyoshi climbs up and starts trading kicks with Lethal. Red with a spinning Enziguri on Suicide! Shelley is at the top of the cage as Sabin hits a Tornado DDT on Homicide. Lethal climbs up and tries to Powerbomb Shelley off the top but Shelley blocks it. Action is everywhere! Suicide with a spinning front slam on Red but then he eats the Lethal Combination from Lethal! Shelley then kicks Lethal in the face only to eat a running STO from Kiyoshi! Creed Press Slams Kiyoshi into a Gutbuster! Red with the Red Eye on Homicide! Suicide climbs up on the cage and starts climbing near the hole but Red quickly gets to the top as well and cuts him off! Red and Suicide brawl at the top rope and Suicide hip tosses Red off the top but he lands onto Sabin and hits a hurricanrana! Homicide has a baton and hits Red with it as Kiyoshi holds him but then he blats Kiyoshi with it out of nowhere! The bell rings as Homicide nails everyone with the baton and the fans boo. The match is a NO CONTEST due to the weapon, that is a lame finish.
Winner: NO CONTEST

Homicide climbs through the hole at the top of the cage as the fans “THIS IS BULLS*T” at what just went down. Homicide is having trouble climbing through the cage which causes the rest of the X-Division guys to climb up to come and get him but he falls down and tries to escape through the door but the rest of the guys drop back down and start beating on him. Jeff Hardy’s music hits! JEFF FUCKING  HARDY IS IN THE CROWD! HOLY SHIT  He climbs over the barricade and Homicide attacks him! Homicide is laying into Hardy but Hardy throws him into the cage wall! Hardy blasts Homicide with a sickening chair shot and then hits the Twist of Fate! HOLY COW! The fans are going nuts for Hardy as the rest of the X-Division wrestlers look on in shock! Hardy climbs to the top of the Steel Asylum and sits down and stares at the crowd!

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Footage of what just went down with Hardy is shown after the break. We then cut to the back where Shannon Moore meets Jeff Hardy coming back. They talk and walk off as we are back at ringside with Tenay & Taz. We then see footage of Hulk Hogan’s limousine getting a police escort to the show.

In the back Christy Hemme is with Kevin Nash. Nash seems to be excited as he says tonight is epic for TNA. He says he has many times called himself the smartest man in wrestling and that’s because it’s true, but his first mentor was Hulk Hogan. He says whatever company Hogan has worked with in the past has been #1 and that makes TNA on their way to TNA. He says with those numbers comes more money. He says there is a lot of reasons for him to be excited and then he starts to walk off, but he stops and says he just talked to Hulk a few minutes ago. He says a, he’s on his way and b, he’s not alone!

TNA Knockouts Championship
Tara (c) vs. ODB
ODB attacks Tara as she started to take her t-shirt off. ODB chokes Tara with the t-shirt behind the referees back and then she chops away at the chest of Tara. ODB goes for a Corner Splash but Tara hits a back elbow and then a dropkick. Tara then follows up with a clothesline. ODB and Tara trade big right hands but Tara gets the advantage with some nice leg kicks and then an Enziguri! Tara hits a Scoop Slam and then the Standing Moonsault! 1…2…NO ODB kicks out! Tara attempts to whip Tara into the corner but ODB counters and then charges at her, but Tara counters into the Tarantula! Tara follows up with a Slingshot Somersault Leg Drop from the apron onto ODB in the ring for another nearfall. Tara sets up for a Powebomb but ODB forces Tara into the corner and then goes for the TKO, but Tar blocks it and goes for another Powerbomb. ODB counters it into a rollup and holds the tights, 1…2….3 and ODB wins back her title!
Winner & NEW Knockouts Champ: ODB via pinfall (rollup)

After the match Tara hits the Widow’s Peak on ODB and then puts her tarantula on her. Tara then raises up the Knockouts Title as we cut to the back.

A limousine is shown arriving and in the words of Joey Styles OH MY GOD!!! IT’S RIC FLAIR! Beer Money and other staff members welcome Flair as he walks in!

——————COMMERCIAL BREAK——————–

Back from commercials and Taz says that it was AJ Styles lockerroom that Flair walked into. we cut to more footage of fans earlier today, this time with Christy Hemme. She then sees Mick Foley arriving and she asks him what he’s doing. Foley says that he was barred from coming into the Impact Zone because he may be a problem. Foley says he doesn’t want to disrupt anything and he says he’ll be on his best behavior. He tries to get into the Impact Zone but security stops him and they say they have to escort him off the property.

Bobby Lashley’s music hits and he makes his way out to the ring accompanied by his wife. Kristal says tonight is the biggest night in TNA history as a big “Bobby” chant erupts. She says that Bobby wants to send a special message to Hulk Hogan. She says Bobby isn’t just a star in a pro wrestling, but also in MMA. He says no one can match his strength and potential. She says that pro wrestling is filled with a bunch of ‘inbred’ degenerates unlike MMA. The fans are getting all over her. She says Bobby is asking for his immediate release from TNA because they have better things to do! She says tonight is the last night we’ll ever see him and then she drops the mic and they leave!

In the back Velvet Sky tells the cameraman to follow her and she walks into a room where a poker table is set up with Madison & Lacey. She says tonight BP wanted to make the biggest impression tonight and she says since poker shows are so popular today that they’ll do one without a net. Lacey doesn’t know how to play Poker and says she wants 5 cards and Velvet calls her out on it. Lacey has a great hand but she’s dumb so she wins. Lacey strips off her jacket and Velvet says they’ll be there all night playing Strip Poker. Madison says when they lose, everyone wins.

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In the back Scott Hall and Sean Waltman are talking! They try to get in the Impact Zone but security won’t let them. Hall grabs one of the security guards by the throat and then Waltman grabs the other one as the rest of security tries to pull them off! Tenay says that TNA is the #1 trending topic on Twitter right now and then we see Hogan’s limo getting close to the Impact Zone.

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The limousine stops in the road and then someone pulled up in another limousine beside it and gets in Hogan’s limo!

Waltman and Hall walk in through the crowd now! The fans are going nuts for them as Hall flicks his toothpick at the camera.

————————COMMERCIAL BREAK————————-

During the break they cut in to see Waltman & Hall taking pictures of each other in the front row and cheesing for the camera.

Hulk Hogan’s new music hits (very nWo sounding) and he makes his way out to a HUGE ovation! The fans are absolutely going nuts! Just a note here, Hogan is wearing all black. I don’t know if that means anything or not. Hogan sees Waltman and Hall at ringside and he smiles and nods his head towards them as they point at Hogan. Brooke Hogan (looking VERY bouncy) is shown in the audience. Hogan grabs a microphone as a ‘Hogan’ chant starts up and he soaks it all in. Hogan says TNA is making history tonight. He says there is so much talent in TNA and he says TNA will become the #1 company in the world. Hogan says he spent all day long talking to the talent and listening to their ides and now he feels the energy from the fans that he was dreaming for. He says there are a lot of old faces and new faces in TNA. Waltman and Hall are trying to get into the ring but security is holding them back. Hogan tells security to back off and tells them to get in the ring and for TNA to give them a mic! The fans are chanting “1-2-3” at Waltman. Waltman gives Hogan the nWo sign and he does it with both Hall and Waltman. Hall does his ‘Hey, Yo!’ thing to a huge reaction. Hogan says they know he’s all about the party but if they have something to say then say it right now. Hall says “say hello to the Bad Guy” and then he says that when he and Pac heard that Bischoff and Hogan were coming to TNA it meant one thing to them and that’s big paychecks, big arenas, and big parties. Hogan says this is a different time and a different place and it doesn’t work like that anymore. Waltman says that’s where Hogan is wrong and he says it is the same place with the same people and they’re there to party. Hogan says not this time and it’s going to be totally different this time. Hall says Hogan is the highest paid guy ever in wrestling and now he wants to change the business. Hogan cuts Hall off and says it’s time to grow up and do the right thing for the business. Hall says Hogan deserves everyone of the fans chants and he says things have changed. He says and they will with him or without him. Kevin Nash’s music hits now and Nash makes his way out to the ring! Nash grabs the microphone from Hall and hugs Waltman. He says Hogan has a role to play tonight so Hall and Pac need to let him play it. Hogan says it’s not a role and he says when he became a partner with Dixie he gave her his word to make a change in this business for the better. Big “TNA” chant starts up and Nash says that he’s been talking with Hogan for the past 5-6 weeks and that’s not the conversation they’ve been having. Nash asks Hogan when he turned so corporate. Hogan says it’s not about turning corporate and he says they are his brothers ‘4-life’ but it’s a different time now and they need to be forreal. Hall and Waltman look like they want to fight with Hogan but more music plays and it’s Eric Bischoff! Bischoff power walks down to the ring and we have a full blown nWo reunion in this ring now! Bischoff says it’s been awhile for all these guys and says it brings back memories. He says in the ring are the guys that changed the business. Bischoff says hopefully now they’re all a little smarter. He says he’s the one that putted that ‘band’ together in the first place. He says there has been a big breakdown in communication here and Waltman tells him to explain it to him now. Bischoff says that what Hogan is trying to say is that everybody has to earn their position in the company. Nash says he hears him loud and clear and they’ll talk to him later. Hall, Nash, and Waltman leave the ring as Bischoff and Nash look a little surprised. Hogan says in TNA everyone will have to earn the spot and he doesn’t care about past relationship or who thinks they’re on a role. Bischoff says he and Hogan have done it before and he’s sure they can do it in TNA because there is awhole lot of talent and heart in TNA. He says things will definitely change. He says he doesn’t care if you’re the World Champion or the cameraman, everyone is under a microscope. Hogan says the change starts tonight. Bischoff asks for the producer because he wants a format. Someone brings Bischoff the format and he rips it up. He says they’re starting over. He then pulls out somemore papers and gives it to So Cal Val and says that’s what’s going to happen tonight. Hogan says if you can’t talk and you can’t wrestle then you need to pack your bags and ‘head up north.’ We see Sting looking down on Bischoff and Hogan from the rafters!

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We get a shot of Sting up in the rafters from moments ago as we come back from break.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships
Taylor Wilde & Sarita (c) vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada
Sarita and Hamada will start the match off. They lockup in the center of the ring and they stalemate. They lockup again and Hamda hits an arm drag but Sarita comes right back with one of her own. Hamada with a leg sweep but Sarita comes right back with another armdrag. Hamada goes for a clothesline but Sarita counters into a DDT. Taylor tags in and hits a Flying Armdrag off the top and then she follows up with a series of forearms. Taylor attempts to whip Hamada into the ropes but she counters it and lights up Taylor with chops. We get a split screen now showing JB finding the Machine Guns laid out in the back. Sarita tags back in and Hamada hits a double arm drag on them and then she tags in Kong. Sarita attempts a Crucifix type move on Kong but she blocks it and then Big Boots Taylor and drops down into a sort of Samoan Drop on Sarita! Kong gets a nearfall and Hamada charges at Taylor. Taylor backdrops Hamada over the top rope onto the apron and then hits an Enziguri! Taylor with a dropkick on Kong and then another dropkick. Taylor & Sarita then hit double dropkicks on Kong sending her out to the floor with Kong. Taylor climbs to the top and she hits a Flying Plancha off the top on Kong as Sarita hits a Suicide Dive through the ropes on Hamada the same time!

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Back from commercials Kong holds Taylor as Hamada hits a sliding dropkick. During the break Taylor hit a Moonsault on Kong for a nearfall and then Kong destroyed Taylor with a shoulder block. Hamada gets another nearfall back live on Taylor. Taylor comes back with forearms on Hamada but Hamada kicks her in the gut and then headbutts her. Hamada taunts Sarita by acting like she’s going to let Sarita get a tag and then she tags in Kong. Kong continues the beatdown on Taylor. Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb but Taylor blocks it and then comes back with a Codebreaker and then she tags in Sarita! Sarita hits a Springboard Missile Dropkick on Kong and then she ducks a clothesline from Kong only to eat a nasty Superkick from Hamada out of nowhere! Hamada is limping a bit in the ring. Kong and Hamada whip Sarita into the corner but she quickly springs to the top rope and attempts a Flying Cross Body but they catch her in midair! Kong and Hamada slam Sarita to the mat but then Taylor hits a gorgeous Hurricanrana on Hamada out of nowhere! Sarita then goes for a Rolling Hurricanrana on Kong but she blocks it and goes for the Awesome Bomb! Sarita counters into a Sunset Flip attempt but Kong destroys her by sitting down on her! 1…2…NO Taylor breaks it up with a dropkick! Sarita covers Kong, 1…2…NO Kong kicks out! Kong hits a Spinning Backfist on Sarita out of nowhere and then sets up for the Awesome Bomb again as Hamada throws Taylor into the ring post on the floor. Kong lifts Sarita up and then Kong hits a Missile Dropkick on Sarita sending her down into the Awesome Bomb! 1…2…3!
Winners & NEW Knockouts Tag Champs: Kong & Hamada via pinfall (Missile Dropkick/Awesome Bomb)

In the back BP are down to their bras now as Val Venis comes in! He asks if they need a fourth for their threesome. Velvet asks him what makes him think he can bust in on their game. He says they need something to take their little game to a whole new level. He says he just got out of the shower and if he loses a hand it’s all over for him. I don’t want to see that. Madison tells him to shutup and deal and he says this is going to be a very interesting night.

—————————COMMERCIAL BREAK————————

Foley is still trying to get in the arena but security still won’t let him in. Foley says he has another plan and walks away as we see the Nasty Boys walk up. They try to get in but security stops them as well. They tell the Nasty Boys to go the gate and if they get clearance they can come in.

Raven & Stevie Richards w/Daffney vs. “Super Mex” Hernandez & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan
Raven and Hernandez kick the match off. Hernandez hits a huge shoulder block and Raven quickly tags in Stevie. Hernandez tags in Morgan as well. Stevie ducks a clothesline from Morgan and kicks him in the gut. Stevie then kicks him in the head and then hits a Running Forearm Smash. Stevie comes off the ropes again only to eat a Carbon Footprint! 1…2…3! Raven attempted to stop the count but Hernandez cut him off.
Winners: Hernandez & Morgan via pinfall (Carbon Footprint)

In the back D’Angelo Dinero is with Christy Hemme. She says Hogan must think highly of Pope because he is one of the people Hogan wants to see tonight. Dinero says that doesn’t surprise him but what does surprise him is the fact that Christy is standing next to him and hasn’t ‘dipped her hand in the Pope’s cup’ yet. He says Desmond Wolfe stands in his way to the mountain top and then says he wants Wolfe to bring his very best tonight. Orlando Jordan walks up out of nowhere! Jordan tells Christy he’s a big fan of her and then says he’s a big fan of Pope too. He asks if he has seen Hogan and that Hogan invited him. Pope can’t believe it and tells Orlando to get to stepping because he’s interrupting his TV time. Jordan says Pope reminds him of himself and then offers a handshake but Pope doesn’t accept it. Pope calls Orlando a Whoopi Goldberg lookalike.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
Wolfe and Dinero lockup in the ring and Wolfe immediately gets Dinero in a Full Nelson and then transitions into a Hammerlock and then a wristlock. Wolfe slams Dinero to the mat and then stomps the arm of Dinero. Wolfe then tries to slam Dinero into turnbuckles but he blocks it and then kicks Wolfe in the gut. Dinero then hits a backick followed by a front kick and then a running shoulder block! Dinero then goes for a Scoop Slam but Wolfe counters into the Hammerlock DDT! Wolfe then slams that shoulder into the top turnbuckle and follows up with a leg sweep. Wolfe whips Dinero into the ropes and Dinero goes for a Sunset Flip but Wolfe blocks it and grabs that arm again and slams it to the mat again. Wolfe with a crazy rolling armtrap (with the knee) and armbar on the other arm. That really looks painfull but Pope is able to counter it with a rollthrough but Wolfe kicks him in the head again. Wolfe follows up with a European Uppercut and then charges at Dinero in the corner, but Dinero sidesteps him and then hits a legsweep. Dinero then hits the Outer Limits Hanging Elbow Drop! Dinero comes right back with another slam and then he puts Dinero up on the top rope for the Tower of London! Pope blocks it and goes for that nasty Upperuct, but Wolfe avoids it and counters into a backslide attempt! Dinero lands on his feet and then rolls Wolfe up with a small package! 1…2…3!
Winner: Dinero via pinfall (small package)

In the back we see Jeff Jarrett arriving!

————————COMMERCIAL BREAK—————————–

In the back Rhino is laid out and JB is on scene but Bubba the Love Sponge walks up and takes the microphone from him and says he’s got it.

Clips from earlier with Hogan’s promo are shown.

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In the back AJ is with JB and he talks about being in TNA for all 7 years and he says he’s never felt something this electric. JB mentions that at Genesis AJ will defend his belt against Kurt finally. AJ says he can’t hold his belt with pride until he beats Kurt and he says at Genesis the world will find out who the best is. Eric Bischoff walks in clapping and says he has heard so much about AJ and it’s an honor to meet him. He says he has some good news and some bad news for AJ. He says the AJ-Angle match is off and that’s the bad news. He says the good news is the world does need to know who the best is and they will find out tonight because AJ will face Angle tonight for the belt instead! AJ says he’s ready and he hopes Kurt is! Now that is a huge match!

Jeff Jarrett’s music hits and the TNA founder makes his way out to the ring. Jarrett says it feels great to be back home in the Impact Zone. He says 7 years ago he founded TNA after about 15 years of hard work in the business. A “thank you Jeff” chant erupts. Jeff says every critic in the world said TNA wouldn’t last 6 weeks let alone 6 months, yet he’s standing in the middle of the 6-sided ring on a Monday night in the companies greatest night. He says he’s damn proud to be there too. He says he tried to convince Hogan for years to be apart of TNA but the time wasn’t right but tonight the timing is very right. Jeff says throughout his career his done some good things and some not so good things, but by far the most rewarding thing he ever did was giving guys like AJ Styles, Beer Money, Motor City Machine Guns, Daniels, and Samoa Joe a chance. He says ‘you ain’t seen nothing yet!’ and with Hogan partnering with Dixie and Jeff anything can and will happen in TNA. Hogan shows up on the video screen and says “so what, nobody cares” about anything he just said. He says if he heard ‘I’ one more time he was going to bring security out there after him. Hogan says that Jeff founded TNA but in a short amount of time he ran the company into the ground too. Hogan says now that the truth be told, if it wasn’t for Dixie Carter resurrecting TNA and giving the young guys a chance he wouldn’t be there. He says Jeff needs to straighten his act up and as far as he’s concerned and he’s now Dixie’s partner, not Jeff’s. He says the young guys will finally get a shot now with him. He says nobody cares about Jeff’s past accolades and one thing he does have right is that he and Dixie are going to take TNA to the top. He says Jeff has no voting power or power at all in TNA. He says Jeff needs to go get his boots and lace them up because he has to prove himself just like everybody else! Jeff looks shocked in the ring and not happy at all.

In the back Hemme is with Christopher Daniels. Daniels says he’s not worried about anything but JB walks up and interrupts the interview. He says he has Mick on the phone and he wants him to help him in. JB opens the door but JB says he can’t let him in and Mick says he’ll go through him to get to Hogan.

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In the back Jeff Hardy is painting something while Shannon Moore looks on. Shannon tells Jeff he has to start selling his paintings and then tells Jeff it’s time for their meeting with Hogan.

“The Monster” Abyss vs. “Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe
No Barbed Wire Massacre tonight due to Bischoff & Hogan scrapping everything previously planned. This is, believe it or not, a first time matchup between these two one-on-one. Joe charges Abyss at the bell with a forearm and follows up with a series of jabs in the corner, some nasty jabs! Joe then attempts to whip Abyss into the corner but he counters it and goes for a Corner Splash. Joe moves out of the way and hits the Leaping Enziguri! Joe then follows up with the Facewash, that move is just so nasty. As Joe was going for the running kick to cap it off Abyss got to his feet and lays Joe out with a Big Boot! Joe rolls out to the floor and Abyss follows him but Joe kicks him in the gut and grabs a chair. Joe swings but Abyss ducks and Joe hits the ring post. Abyss throws Joe into the ringsteps and then rolls Joe back into the ring. Abyss with a series of right hands and then he whips Joe into the ropes and goes for a backdrop, but Joe stops and hits a kick to the head. Joe with chops followed by an Atomic Drop and then a Running Mafia Kick! Joe follows up with the Backsplash Senton! 1…2…NO Abyss kicks out. We see a shot of Sting watching this match in the back now. Joe comes off the ropes but Abyss grabs him by the throat for the Chokeslam, but Joe counters with a back elbow only to eat a clothesline from Abyss. Abyss with a Corner Splash and then the Sidewalk Slam. 1…2…NO Joe kicks out. Abyss goes for the Corner Splash again but Joe counters with a back elbow and then a big boot. Joe climbs to the top and hits a Flying Thrust Kick for another near fall. Joe with more jabs and then he hits a Running Forearm but it just fires Abyss up! Joe then levels Abyss with the Leaping Enziguri! Joe climbs to the top and dives but Abyss catches him with the Chokeslam! 1…2…NO Joe kicks out again! Joe rolls out to the floor again and Joe reaches out to pull Joe in but the referee pulls him away. Abyss shoves the referee out of the way and then starts to climb out of the ring and eats the chair shot from Joe! Joe climbs back in and locks Abyss in the Coquina Clutch! Abyss tries to get to the ropes but taps out!
Winner: Joe via submission (Coquina Clutch)

In the back Bischoff is talking to a staff member when Kristal walks up and she asks him if he’s going to say anything. Kristal says she wants to hear what Hogan says about Lashley wanting to leave. Bischoff says if she wants to meet with Hulk then she needs to go stand in line with everybody else and when she gets there she needs to check her attitude.

Bubba the Love Sponge is in the back and Beer Money is laid out now too. He says he has a pretty good idea who did it.

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Nasty Boys are still trying to get in but security says they’re not on the list. Bubba the Love Sponge walks up and says they have to be on the list. Bubba says the Nasty Boys have a history with Hogan and then he walks off with the security guy and the Nasty Boys sneak in.

We cut to JB who is with Angle. Angle says when he lost the title to AJ he never actually beat Angle and ever since then he knew they would face off one-on-one but didn’t think it would take this long. He says AJ cannot beat him. He says he’s great but he’s not the greatest and now it’s time for him to reclaim his World Heavyweight Title!

Shannon and Jeff are walking in the parking lot and they are carrying envelopes and Shannon is saying they got everything they came for. Some screaming girls run up and tell him how much they love him. He gives the girl his painting and then they get in their car to leave.

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Nasty Boys walk into Team 3D’s lockerroom because they are off in Japan. The Security guard walks in to apologize to them and he brings them doughnuts but they throw them at the security guy. They are trashing 3D’s lockerroom and they spray paint over Devon’s picture.

Main Event
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
“The Phenomenal” AJ Styles (c) vs. “Olympic Hero” Kurt Angle
This is the rematch that everybody has been waiting on! Kurt and AJ lockup with AJ getting the early advantage with a side headlock, but Angle quickly lifts AJ up into a Back Suplex. AJ holds onto the side headlock, though, on the mat! The fans are REALLY into this already. Angle gets to his feet and counters into a hammerlock and then a side headlock of his own. AJ shoves Angle into the ropes and AJ leapfrogs Angle and then goes for the Dropkick but Angle stops in his tracks but AJ never left his feet. Angle then charged at AJ only to eat the Phenomenal Dropkick! Angle quickly rolls out to the floor to catch a breather but you are not safe from AJ Styles out there! AJ with a slingshot but Angle moves and AJ lands on the apron. Angle reaches to grab AJ’s foot but he slingshots himself back into the ring. Angle starts to climb back into the ring but AJ knocks him back to the floor and then hits the Somersault Plancha over the top onto Angle on the floor! A huge “TNA” chant starts as AJ rolls Angle back in the ring. AJ with a series of forearms as the hooded man enters the ring and attacks AJ! Angle grabs the hooded man and nails him with a European Uppercut! The referee was knocked down in all of this so he didn’t see the interference. Angle then clotheslines the hooded man out to the floor and security drags him away as Angle offers a handshake to AJ. Angle tells AJ to ‘come on’ now. AJ with a slam attempt but Angle counters and whips AJ into the ropes, but AJ comes back and whips Angle into the corner. AJ with a running forearm and then a snapmare. AJ charges at Angle but catches a boot to the gut and then Angle follows up with a disgusting Running Powerbomb into the turnbuckles!

——————————–COMMERCIAL BREAK—————————-

Back from commercials Angle has AJ in a headlock on the mat. AJ fights to his feet and hits a back elbow and then he hits an arm drag. AJ then hits a big right hand and ducks a clothesline. AJ hits a back elbow and then another one. AJ with forearms in the corner and he whips Angle into the opposite corner. AJ charges in but Angle gets his boot up. Angle charges but AJ catches him with a Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker over his knee! AJ charges at AJ in the corner and Angle backdrops AJ over the top. AJ lands on the apron and hits a forearm smash followed by an attempt at the Springboard Flying Forearm, but Angle catches him and hits the Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Angle goes for the Angle Slam but AJ counters it and hits a Discuss Clothesline! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! AJ goes for the Styles Clash but Angle counters with a Double-leg Takedown and then he catapults AJ into the corner! Angle follows up with the Rolling German Suplexes! He hits 3 of them on that one. Angle goes for the Angle Slam again and again AJ counters it. AJ goes for the Pele but Angle avoided it and grabbed AJ’s leg and locks in the Ankle Lock! AJ rolls through into a pin, 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! The fans are going nuts! Angle with a lariat attempt, AJ ducks, Pele hits this time out of nowhere! 1…2…NO Angle still kicks out! AJ goes for the Styles Clash again but Angle reverses with a backdrop. Angle then attempts to whip AJ into the corner but AJ reverses it and then goes for a Flying Forearm. Angle moves and then hits the Angle Slam! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out now! Angle with a big European Uppercut and then he attempts to whip AJ into the ropes but AJ reverses it. Angle holds onto the rope so AJ charges at Angle but he backdrops AJ up and over the top rope. AJ lands on the apron and this time he connects with the Springboard Flying Forearm! Somewhere Michael Jordan is blushing at the height AJ Styles got on that one! AJ climbs to the top rope but Angle quickly gets to his feet and climbs to the top! Belly-to-Belly Superplex! 1…2…NO AJ still kicks out! Angle climbs to the top rope and goes for the Frog Splash but AJ rolls out of the way and Angle eats the mat! AJ goes for the Styles Clash again and this time he hits it! 1…2…NO Angle BARELY kicks out! AJ lifts Angle up and puts him up on the top rope. AJ climbs up with him for a Superplex but Angle shoves AJ off and then connects with the Frog Splash! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out yet again! Angle goes for the Angle Slam again but this time AJ reverses it into the DDT! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! An hilarious “who needs Bret?” chant starts now. Styles goes for the Styles Clash again but Angle backdrops him. AJ rolls Angle up as he hits the mat but Angle rolls through and locks in the Ankle Lock! AJ rolls through but Angle holds onto him until AJ kicks him off. AJ goes for a Lariat but Angle ducks and hits a Release German Suplex! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out again! Angle whips AJ into the corner and charges but AJ hits a back elbow and then his the Springboard into the Phenomenon (Asai Reverse DDT)! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! AJ climbs to the top as Angle gets to his feet. Angle crotches AJ and then climbs up to the top with AJ and hits a Super Angle Slam! 1…2……NO AJ STILL KICKS OUT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Angle is frustrated and he grabs AJ’s ankle and locks in the Ankle Lock again! AJ reaches out for the ropes but Kurt pulls him back and AJ rolls through sending Angle headfirst into the middle turnbuckle! AJ hits a big Enziguri and then the Styles Clash! 1…2……NO WHAT?! ANGLE KICKED OUT AGAIN! AJ sets up for the Styles Clash again but Angle reverses and locks in the Ankle Lock again! This time he drops back and great veins the leg! AJ is about to tap as Ric Flair walks out and AJ rolls over and starts kicking Angle repeatedly! Ric Flair is looking on in the ring. Angle charges at AJ but he sidesteps Angle and he goes headfirst into the ring post! AJ hits a Back Suple and then he rolls out to the apron as Tenay says we’ll stay with this match as long as it goes! AJ hits the Springboard 450-Splash! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out yet again!

———————-COMMERCIAL BREAK————————-

Back from the break Flair continues to watch on at the match as Angle has AJ in a Triangle Choke! AJ counters the Triangle into the Styles Clash, but Angle counters it into the Ankle Lock again! AJ rolls over and kicks Angle off! Flair walks back down the tunnel as AJ rolls Angle up and then hits the Styles Clash again! AJ doesn’t have the strength to roll Angle over like he normally does but he’s finally able to roll Angle over and then he goes out to the apron. AJ hits the Springboard 450-Splash again! 1…2…3 and AJ retains the title! Winnner & STILL World Champ: Styles via pinfall (Springboard 450)

After the match Angle shakes AJ’s hand and then they hug. Hogan’s music hits and he walks out to the stage. Hogan says those are the two greatest wrestlers in the business today. Hogan says he has nothing but respect for Angle and AJ just raised the TNA bar to a whole new level. Hogan says this situation will go on and on and he says that they made history tonight. He says this is the beginning of the greatest rise in the history of wrestling. Someone runs up to Hogan and says something to him and Hogan runs off. We see Foley looking for Hogan and he busts into BP’s poker game and Val says he doesn’t know where the hell Hogan is. Val says he’s not intimidated by Foley and Foley again asks where Hogan is. Val says he’s down the hall and to the left. Foley walks to the office and busts in where Bischoff is sitting. Bischoff says Foley has no influence, power, or control in TNA now and his only choice is to put his boots on and fight for his job. Foley says he accepted that he worked for Dixie Carter and he could MAYBE accept working for Hogan but he made a choice a long time ago that he would never work for Bischoff. Foley says he’s going to give Bischoff a reason to fire him and that’s knocking his teeth down his throat. Then Nash grabs him by the back of the head out of nowhere and slams his head into the desk! Hall and Waltman then take turns laying Foley out! Hogan runs in and stops what’s going on. Hogan looks on at what we just saw as we fade to black!

Let’s see if the BWF site can show the Empress of “iMPACT” a bit more love than it did on Thursday night, and actually allow me to post the entirety of this.

TNA “No Surrender” Predictions

World Heavyweight Championship match
Sting vs. AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle (ch)

JT: Matt Morgan – TNA needs to go for it and put the belt on him now. He wins by pinning either Sting or AJ Styles.

ThinkSoJoE: Gotta go with Angle here – Sting and AJ are “Bound for Glory” bound, Morgan isn’t ready for it yet.

The Green Teabagger: Matt Morgan reveals he was with Angle all along and helps Angle retain The Precious. Sounds like another addition to The Intro!

Legend Killer: Kurt Angle. Do you really see Matt Morgan winning?

Drowgoddess: AJ Styles to win, because he and Sting can still fight at BFG with AJ being the champ. The guy carried the company since the very first day, and he is long overdue to have the gold that proves it. AJ is not the future of wrestling, he has been the present of wrestling for the past seven years. I just hope against hope that Matt Morgan doesn’t turn out to be on Angle’s side after all. For one thing, we’ve already seen that when Samoa Joe joined the MEM and handed Angle the title. For the other thing, people are going crazy in a good way over Morgan blatantly playing games with Angle, and a swerve for the sake of a swerve will only destroy Morgan’s momentum and connection with the fans.

“The Boss” Bobby Lashley vs. “The War Machine” Rhino

JT: Lashley – It’s his first ppv match since joining TNA, no way he’s gonna lose.

ThinkSoJoE: Lashley. They’re going to put that much hype behind the Bruce Springsteen wannabe to have him job to the War Machine? Psh.

The Green Teabagger: Yeah, like Rhino has a chance. Rhino was forgotten until they needed someone to take a dive for a part-timer. Reality check: Barring injury, stupid shit, or Angle getting thrown in jail, the main event at BFG 5 is Angle-Lashley for the title. Lashley is going into that undefeated, but it will probably be his third match in TNA. Next month, he’ll probably be facing Homicide.

Legend Killer: Black Lesnar. Have this guy, that you’re hyping up to be the cornerstone of the company, then have him lose in his first match.

Drowgoddess: Everybody, even a pygmy deaf-mute in the Amazonian rain forest, knows that Lashley is winning this match. Lashley is the latest ex-WWE savior of TNA, and as such, will be absolutely dominant until he finally fights Kurt Angle.

X-Division Championship match
Daniels vs. Samoa Joe (ch)

JT: Joe – Wait, is this a feud??? Wow, this shows how much attention I pay to iMPACT! every week. I don’t see Samoa Joe losing the title anytime soon.

ThinkSoJoE: Joe. For no other reason than Joe is gonna kill you.

The Green Teabagger: I’d like Daniels to win the title and go on to a feud with The Pope D’Angelo Dinero. Right, like the MEM is giving up a belt, but this would be the one they lose if they do lose any of them anytime soon. Samoa Joe retains.

Legend Killer: Samoa Joe. Daniels wants to bring the X-Division back, but Joe’s only held the belt a month.

Drowgoddess: I could go either way in this match and be happy, but Samoa Joe retains here. Daniels SHOULD win the X-Division title, but the timing may not be right.

“Lethal Lockdown” tag team cage match
Beer Money vs. The British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner & Booker T (ch)

JT: British Invasion – There’s a Lethal Lockdown match??? I seriously didn’t know about this one until this week’s iMPACT!, but since they’re trying to tease a feud between the MEM and the British Invasion, I’ll go with them.

ThinkSoJoE: BEER MONEY!

The Green Teabagger: No titles are on the line, so Beer Money and Team 3-D win this match. That way, it looks “balanced.” :/

Legend Killer: Team 3D and Beer Money Inc. Three words. Beer Money Inc.

Drowgoddess: I’m still confused about this match. I thought that it was a four-way match for the tag team titles in a cage, under “Lethal Lockdown” rules. Now, it seems to be a non-title match with two teams of four. The website and the tv program are not in alignment on this! Either Beer Money wins or The British Invasion (in the form of Brutus Magnus) steals a third pin and victory from Steiner and Booker.

“$50,000 Bounty vs. Legends Championship” match
Abyss vs. Kevin Nash (ch)

JT: Nash (as long as he doesn’t get injured walking to the ring or boning fat chicks) – Dr. Stevie gets involved, Nash wins.

ThinkSoJoE: If the title is on the line, Nash. If not, Abyss.

The Green Teabagger: I want Abyss to win the Legends Title. That said, I almost expect Foley to either insert himself into this match at the last moment to make it a Triple Threat. Either way, if Nash shows up, he wins.    

Legend Killer: Abyss. You watch Foley interfere in this one. I say Abyss, just so it pisses off Foley. However, Nash claims the bounty.

Drowgoddess: I’m not terribly excited about this match. No way is Nash losing. Mick Foley and Dr. Stevie will likely get involved, somehow.

Knockouts Championship match (title is held up)
ODB vs. Cody Deaner

JT: ODB – The women’s title should be on a woman, not a man, enough said.

ThinkSoJoE: Given the fact that every Knockout beat the crap out of Deaner this past Thursday, going with ODB.

The Green Teabagger: If there is a just and loving God, ODB will win this match. I’m still picking Cody Deaner because Russo has the book.

Legend Killer: Cody Deaner. Because TNA are that retarded to do that.

Drowgoddess: ODB has got to win. End this horribly unfunny abomination of allowing Cody Deaner to cheapen a title that actually did mean something!

Finals of the Knockouts tag team championship tournament
The Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde & Sarita

JT: The Beautiful People – Don’t really have a reason why, just picking them.

ThinkSoJoE: I’m going with Taylor and Sarita for the sheer fact that Angelina Love won’t be there.

The Green Teabagger: The Beautiful People….Vel Vel and Madison Rayne, subbing for Angelina Love. Because it’s as close to the assumed original plan as they can, Rayne and Vel Vel with the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.  They will still be more legit tag champions than The British Invasion.

Legend Killer: Taylor/Sarita. Considering one of their opponents no longer works for the company, I’d say it’s a good bet.

Drowgoddess: Taylor Wilde and Sarita should win, but the only reason that Madison Rayne got back together with The Beautiful People is because Angelina Love won’t be at the ppv. That’s quite a lot of trouble to go to unless the only plan is to have The Beautiful People win. Therefore, I’m predicting a Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne victory.

Grudge match
Eric Young vs. Hernandez

JT: Hernandez – I think everyone knows how much I hate Eric Young, so yeah, my pick might be a little biased, but I’m sticking to it.

ThinkSoJoE: EY will take this one, likely with help from Homicide.

The Green Teabagger: Eric Young wins with a combination of cheating, chairs, and a piledriver. JT will probably say, “Fuck Eric Young!” before, during, and after. I will be watching the New York Giants dissect the Dallas Cowboys.

Legend Killer: Hernandez. Even with Homicide in his corner, the chum for Team Canada has no chance.

Drowgoddess: I don’t hate Eric Young. I think he’s doing the best work of his career, and the “cheap knock-off of Chris Jericho” accusations really aren’t fair. Hernandez has destroyed all of World Elite that have challenged him thus far, so Eric Young has to win, by hook or by crook.

The BWF staff has spoken! Join us for full coverage of “No Surrender,” and see who was right.

Join your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line! It’s time for some “Hard Justice,” and, porntastic though it sounds, it’s what we’ve got. Will Kurt Angle’s real-life arrest affect the main event title match? Will the introduction of “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero obliterate the actual X-Division? Will the Legends title match between Mick Foley and Kevin Nash scar your soul for life? Will Samoa Joe and Homicide unleash the nine levels of hell that we all know that they can? It’s showtime, folks!

The mechanized voice of Professor Stephen Hawking opens the show, with references to DNA. The opening video package focuses on Matt Morgan, then on Kurt Angle, and finally on the Angle/Morgan in-ring dispute that ended last week’s “iMPACT.” We go to the opening pyro, and the ring.

Match #1: Steel Asylum match for the Number One Contender to the X-Division title: The Motor City Machine Guns enter together, followed by Amazing Red, Daniels, Lethal Consequences, Suicide (who enters up from the floor out of a cloud of fog), and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero is a street preacher, according to Tenay and West. The Guns double-team Daniels, while Lethal, Creed, and The Pope climb the walls of the cage. Lethal Consequences double-team Red. Pope nails Lethal with a huge release suplex, but then falls victim to more Guns double-team goodness. Daniels overpowers Sabin, but Shelley stops Daniels with a top rope jawbreaker. Shelley hangs The Pope in the corner, but Suicide grabs him. Sabin kicks Suicide into The Pope to free Shelley. The Guns climb the walls, but run into trouble with Lethal and Daniels. Daniels and Lethal go at each other, and Daniels brings Lethal down to the mat. The Pope goes after Daniels, ducks a punch, and Daniels punches the cage. Both men hit the mat. Suicide goes after Shelley on the top rope, but Sabin runs up the ropes and throws Suicide over. The Guns double-team Lethal Consequences, but get attacked by Daniels and The Pope. Suicide lands a huge Tower of Doom powerbomb on Daniels, Red, and The Pope. Creed and Shelley go, and the Guns trap Lethal Consequences in submission holds, but the holds are broken. Shelley hits the Sliced Bread on Daniels, but Lethal takes down Shelley. Sabin takes down Lethal. Creed takes down Sabin. Red takes down Creed. Everyone makes it back up to climb the wall. Daniels takes The Pope down to the mat. Suicide and Creed hit the mat. The Guns take down Lethal. Red DDTs Sabin, then Shelley. Red climbs the wall, but Daniels is right behind him. Daniels hangs upside down from the roof by one leg after throwing Red to the mat. The Pope brings Suicide down, then drops to the mat to punish him further. Daniels extricates himself from the roof, and crawls through the roof to win.

Winner and #1 Contender to the X-Division title: Daniels

Jeremy Borash interviews Daniels about facing either Samoa Joe or Homicide at the next ppv. He has history with both of them, and whoever doesn’t lose tonight will lose to him next month. Daniels tells AJ Styles not to question himself, that he and the TNA fans are thinking of him. Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.

Lauren interviews Matt Morgan about his friction with Kurt Angle. Morgan wants to be in the MEM, but Angle is the one who jerked him around for weeks, getting him to do Angle’s dirty work. Tonight, Morgan rewards himself with the title that’s destined to be his.

Match #2: “$50,000 Bounty Challenge” match, Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday (w/ Dr. Stevie): Weapons are legal. Basically, no DQ. Holiday shows no fear, and lays into Abyss with shoulder blocks and chops. Abyss has none of it, and clotheslines Holiday to the floor. Holiday ducks and Abyss punches a ringpost. Holiday throws Abyss into the railing, and follows him around the floor. Abyss is rolled into the ring, and Holiday attempts a middle rope elbow drop, but misses. Abyss punches down Holiday, then leaves the ring to get a chair. Dr. Stevie tosses a police baton to Holiday, who uses it on Abyss. Dr. Stevie directs traffic, and Holiday knocks Abyss from the apron onto the railing. Abyss places the chair over Holiday and goes for a splash, but Holiday turns the chair sideways, and Abyss crotches himself on it. Holiday hits Abyss with the chair, and goes for the pin, but Abyss kicks out at two. Abyss throws Holiday head-first into the chair wedged into the corner, follows up with a chokeslam, but Holiday kicks out at two. Dr. Stevie interferes, and Abyss drags him in the ring by his hair. Holiday hits Abyss with a bulldog. Dr. Stevie tosses brass knuckles to Holiday. Holiday charges Abyss with the brass knuckles, but Abyss counters with a perfectly-timed Black Hole Slam. Abyss gets the pin and three-count. Post-match, Dr. Stevie gets in Holiday’s face, and Holiday lays out Dr. Stevie.

Winner: Abyss

JB interviews Kurt Angle, who is completely clean-shaven. Hmm. Angle claims that nothing Morgan has said or done has surprised him. Morgan is young, excited, and green. By the end of the night, after Angle talks to him, he’ll be thinking differently.

Match #3: Rob Terry vs. Hernandez: This match was for posession of the “Feast or Fired” briefcase containing the World Heavyweight title shot. Hernandez grabs a mic and says that the fans are his family, and the ring is his house. The British Invasion can either return his briefcase, or he’ll take it and walk out over all three of them. All three Brits rush the ring, and the match is on. Hernandez pins Rob Terry in about four seconds.

Winner and possessor of a World title shot: Hernandez

Lauren interviews Beer Money. James Storm says that they let Booker T and Scott Steiner beat them at their own game, which is winning at all costs. Robert Roode agrees, and says that they got soft by having emotions. Tonight, they go back to what they’re good at. Kicking ass and doing anything necessary to win.

Match #4: IWGP Tag Team title match, The British Invasion vs. Beer Money: Eric Young comes to the announce table wearing a suit to join the commentary team for the match. Beer Money enters first, and they have new music. The British Invasion enters without Big Rob Terry, as he has likely been forced to commit seppuku for shaming his people. Don West and Eric Young make nice while chatting. Loud crowd chants of “Wanker!” Funny. Storm and Magnus start off, and Storm dominates with punches. Magnus gets thrown to the outside, and Roode tags in. Roode lays into Magnus for a bit, then Doug Williams tags in. Williams and Roode trade punches and headlocks, showing off their respective power. Beer Money double-teams Williams. Storm gets a two-count on Williams. The Brits double-team Storm, but Storm clotheslines both guys at once. Magnus is thrown into Williams. Williams is hung in the Tree of Woe, and Magnus’s legs are pulled into the ring post. A new take on the “69″ spot. The Brits recover, and work over Storm, particularly on the ankle. The Brits use quick tags to maintain the double-team on Storm. Magnus and Storm go. Magnus repeatedly slaps Storm, but gets knocked to the mat for his trouble. Storm tags in Roode, who lays out Williams and Magnus. Beer Money dominates again. Eric Young tosses one of the title belts into the ring, and while the ref threw the belt out, Magnus low blowed Roode, allowing The British Invasion to get the win. Post-match, Beer Money tries to attack Eric Young, but the Brits pull them off.

Lauren interviews ODB and Cody Deaner. She tries to ask what would happen if Cody Deaner gets the pin, and wins the Knockouts title.  Lots of yelling and foolishness.

Match #5: ODB and Cody Deaner vs. The Beautiful People: This was a tag team match for the Knockouts championship. Don West’s commentary here was absolutely gold! Love and ODB start, exchanging pushes. ODB overpowers Love and slams her back-first into the ringpost. Love hits a bulldog on ODB for a two-count. Love tags in Sky, who kicks at ODB while screaming a lot. ODB tags in Deaner, who spanks Sky over the tope rope for a ten-count. Deaner tags in ODB and Sky runs to the other side of the ring and tags in Love. ODB misses a splash, and a red-assed Sky tags in and TBP double-team ODB. Love gets ODB in a sleeper hold, but ODB fights out and throws Love over in a suplex. ODB tags in Deaner, who faces off against Sky. Sky hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Sky. Sky hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Skye. Skye hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Skye. Love attacks Deaner. Deaner kisses Love. Madison Rayne yells at Deaner, who grabs her over the ropes and kisses her too. Sky mule kicks Deaner in the groin. Love superkicks Deaner. ODB and Love scrap on the apron. Deaner pins Sky after Rayne tries to spray Deaner in the eyes, but misses and sprays Sky instead. Post-match, Love and Sky turn on Rayne for her mistake, and Deaner takes the title from ODB, claiming that it’s his.

Winners (and new Knockouts Champion) : ODB and Cody Deaner

Lauren interviews Samoa Joe and Taz. Taz says that Joe is taking the X-Division title from Homicide, starting now. 

Match #6: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide for the X-Division title: Even back-and-forth action for the opening minute. Joe rolls out to the floor, where Taz tells him to get his head on straight and play his own game. Joe blocks a hurricanrana attempt by Homicide, and follows up with a suicide dive between the ropes. Joe is all strikes and knees, but only gets a two-count. Joe works on Homicide’s neck, and follows up with a snap power slam. Joe chokes Homicide in the ropes with his leg for a four-count. Both men trade chops. Joe power bombs Homicide, but Homicide kicks out at two. Joe locks in the STF ( a real one, not a John Cena one). Homicide gets a foot on the ropes. Joe kicks Homicide repeatedly. Loud chants of “187!” They trade punches. Homicide lands a top rope missile drop kick, followed by the tope con hilo to the floor. Homicide and Taz talk trash. Homicide hits a hangman’s neckbreaker back in the ring for a two-count. Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter for a count of two and three-fourths. Homicide attempts the Gringo Killer, but Joe pushes him away. Joe locks in a sleeper hold, but knocks Homicide down and cinches in the Kokina Clutch. Homicide taps, and Joe wins.

Winner and NEW X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe.

JB is with Kurt Angle, who goes to talk to Matt Morgan. Morgan yells at Angle for not knocking, and takes him to task for the way that Angle has treated him. Angle partially apologizes, and tells Morgan that if either he or Morgan win, Morgan is in the Main Event Mafia, and all is good. Morgan shakes on it.

Match #7: TNA Tag Team Championship titles match, Team 3D vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell) and Scott Steiner: Two referees have been assigned to this match, with falls counting anywhere and no DQs. No, this is not awesome. I’m walking out. Be back later. Slow and plodding for the most part. Steiner pinned Ray, but Ray’s arms were under the ropes. The two referees came to conflicting decisions regarding the winners, and consulted the video tape. Booker T and Scott Steiner are declared the winners. Loud chants of “Bullshit!” Agreed, peoples. Agreed.

Winners and still Tag Team Champions: Booker T and Scott Steiner

JB interviews Mick Foley, who says that it isn’t about the number of zeros at the end of your paycheck, but the number of fans you bring to your feet.

Match #8: Legends Championship match, Mick Foley vs. Kevin Nash: Nash dominates early with knees and elbows. Foley fights back with headbutts and punches. Once the action spills onto the floor, Foley hits Nash with a chair. Foley goes for a top rope elbow drop onto Nash, but Nash pulls the chair inthe way at the last second and Foley hits it. Foley’s head is busted open. Blood splatters onto the camera, which is really weird. Nash punches the bloodied mess that is Foley’s face repeatedly, grinning as he does so. Elbows follow punches, and Foley starts to laugh through the crimson mask. Foley fights back and knocks down Nash. Foley pulls out pieces of his own hair, and goes after Nash. Nash is soon busted wide open as well from the steps. Nash rolls up Foley and gets the pin. Post-match, Nash uses Foley’s barbed-wire baseball bat against him. Abyss runs down with his own barbed-wire baseball bat, and makes the save. Foley grins and gives Abyss the thumbs-up. Abyss claps like a little kid, and leaves the ring. 

Winner and NEW Legends Champion: Kevin Nash

Lauren interviews Sting. Sting says that you can only trust yourself. Matt Morgan will learn from his mistakes, just like Sting did. Kurt Angle is, well, Kurt Angle, and will walk over anyone in order to preserve himself. There is a third man in the match, however, and it’s Sting.

Match #9: World Heavyweight Championship match, Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting: Matt Morgan enters first, then Sting, then Kurt Angle. Morgan and Angle work together to throw Sting around. Angle misses a running shoulder to the gut when Sting dodges, and hits the ringpost shoulder-first. The action spills onto the floor. Back in the ring, Sting punches Morgan for a ten-count in the corner. Morgan is thrown to the outside, and Sting focuses on Angle. Crowd chants of “You got arrested!” at Angle at points. Angle throws Sting to the outside, where Morgan punches the Icon, and follows him around the ring. Angle leaps off the apron in a cross body, but Sting dodges and Morgan catches Angle instead. Sting kicks Angle as Morgan tries to handle Angle. Back in the ring, Sting gets Angle in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Angle counters it into the Angle Slam for a two-count. Angle attempts the Angle Lock on Sting, but it isn’t cinched in, and Sting escapes. Sting and Morgan now mix it up. Morgan physically dominates Sting, but only gets two-counts. Morgan hits a leg drop on the apron on Sting, but Sting kicks out at two. As Morgan runs into the ropes, Angle pulls down the top rope, and Morgan hits the floor. Angle and Morgan stare down. Crowd chants of “Fuck him up, Morgan!” Morgan throws sweat at Angle and turns his back to him. Angle attacks Morgan from behind. Morgan nails a Carbon Footprint on Angle on the floor. Morgan pins Sting for more than three counts, but the ref is outside checking on Angle. Sting pins Morgan, but Morgan kicks out at two. Morgan plants Sting with a stiff Carbon Footprint, but as the ref counts to three, Angle pulls him out of the ring. Angle hits Morgan with a chair, pins him, and gets the win.

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle

So, the Main Event Mafia has all the gold in TNA except for the Knockouts title. The main title is still on Kurt Angle, despite all the legal craziness revolving around him at the moment. They have tv tapings tomorrow and Tuesday, at which Angle may or may not be allowed to be present. That Morgan should have won was clear, which made him look good. That we get Daniels/Joe for the X-Division title at the next ppv is also good. If AJ Styles’s announcement on “iMPACT” is that he’s a loser and he’s going home, I will shout “Turnip!” in a very loud voice. Join us back here at BWF for RAW tomorrow night, and assorted wrestling goodness for the rest of the week.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

Cross the line!

Match #1: Christy Hemme defeats Sojo Bolt: We open going straight into the match, which is awesome. Christy looks great, and is better in the ring than she has ever been. Not top-of-the-card Knockouts action, by any means, but she certainly didn’t embarrass herself.

Tenay and West run down tonight’s card, and a split screen shows AJ Styles and Matt Morgan entering the arena.

Lauren interviews Taz about Samoa Joe’s loss to Hernandez. Taz says that Joe let himself down. Joe beat Joe. Taz will motivate Joe, and turn a negative into a positive. Homicide will be the one to suffer, and Joe will put him out. Solid promo with excellent delivery by Taz.

Match #2: Hernandez defeats Doug Williams: I still don’t like Hernandez’s new music. Hernandez holds Williams up in a suplex for an eternity before landing a backbreaker over his shoulder. Brutus Magnus distracts Hernandez, and Williams takes control. Williams targets the neck and shoulders. Williams goes to the top turnbuckle, but misses a back senton. Don West is awesome! He says that the TNA fans aren’t the smartest of people, are the chants of “USA! USA!” for the Mexican or the Brit? Williams goes for a top rope cross body, but Hernandez catches him and plants him with a sit-down powerbomb for the win. Brutus magnus attacks hernandez post-match, but Hernandez disposes of him. Rob Terry attacks Hernandez with the “Feast or Fired” briefcase, and knocks him down. The British Invasion bails, and Hernandez gives chase once he regains his footing.

To the back! Hernandez grabs the mic from Lauren and yells something in Spanich. He leaves.

To the Mike Tenay sit-down interview! It’s with Bobby Lashley. Tenay says that he has followed every second of Lashley’s WWE career, and that professional wrestling wasn’t enough for him. Way to insult everyone, Mike. Is it possible to be successful in pro wrestling and MMA at the same time? Lashley says that he can. Tenay brings up the Main Event Mafia and Kurt Angle’s desire to be the greatest wrestler ever. Who would win between the greatest wrestler ever and the greatest MMA fighter ever? Lashley says that the fans will.

Jeremy Borash interviews Dr. Stevie (with a smokin’ hot Daffney) about his bounty on the head of Abyss. Dr. Stevie talks about defeating and destroying “Chris.” Abyss rushes in, grabs Dr. Stevie by the throat, and tells him to finish the job himself. Abyss is attacked by a chair-wielding “Outlaw” Jethro Holiday. For some reason.

To the back! Lauren interviews Tara, who has Poison crawling over her arm. Tara talks about Awesome Kong, and Lauren talks up the four-way Knockouts match. Tara is in creepy mode, and I likes it.

Match #3: Eric Young and Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/ Kiyoshi) defeat Rhino and Jesse Neal: Jesse Neal has the same haircut and ring gear that he had for his first match, which is appalling. Neal and Young (Ha! See what I did there?) start out. Rhino tags in and works over Young’s midsection. Neal tags back in. Tenay and West talk up the problems between Neal and Rhino. Young drives Neal into his corner, and Bashir tags in. Bashir tags in Young. Young levels Neal with a clothesline. Tenay and West talk up the “Steel Asylum” match that will take place at “Hard Justice.” The winner will be the Number One Contender to the X-Division title. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal, Amazing Red, Suicide, and a debuting “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero (formerly known as Elijah Burke) are in it. Why am I afraid that Dinero/Burke is going to be handed the win and a shot at the X-Division title for his debut match that happens to be on a ppv, and the true X-Division guys will get shoved aside yet again? I hope that I’m wrong. Young and Bashir isolate Neal, and quickly tag each other in and out. Rhino is not happy. Neal has a chance to tag in Rhino, but attacks Bashir instead. Young grabs his trunks and rolls Neal up for the pin. Post-match, Rhino yells at Neal and slaps him. When Neal turns away, Rhino sets up and Gores him. Tenay and West play Rhino up as the face.

To the back! Lauren interviews Rhino about his treatment of Jesse Neal, actually getting some bass in her voice and challenging Rhino about it. “What do you think this is, the Lifetime Channel?” Awesome! Rhino delivers a strong promo about respecting what Neal has done in the military, but doubting that Neal can handle wrestling.

Match #4: Tara defeats ODB (w/ Cody Deaner), Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky), andAwesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed): Kong and Tara go after each other, while The Beautiful People bail and hide from Cody Deaner. ODB drinks from her flask, and shares it with Tara. Tara “Hulks up” and smacks her own boobs. ODB climbs to the top and leaps off onto Kong, Raisha Saeed, and Cody Deaner. Tara climbs to the top and leaps off on The Beautiful People. Tara smashes her head on the floor. Kong and Tara fight to the outside. Angelina Love takes out ODB with the Botox Injection bicycle kick. Kong broke up the count. ODB and Kong go. Kong womanhandles ODB, but ODB kicks out twice. Tara and Angelina Love fight outside the ring. Kong chokeslams ODB. Deaner hops up on the apron and screams at Kong. Deaner acts like he wants to fight Kong, but grabs her by the head and kisses her instead. Kong stares at Deaner, then pulls him into the ring and plants him with the Awesome Bomb. Tara runs in and rolls up Kong for the win.

To the back! Lauren talks to AJ Styles about his upcoming match against Matt Morgan. With the “Best of Three” series tied at one win each, AJ’s loss will put Sting at a huge disadvantage.

To the back! Jeremy Borash talks with Team 3D. I hate that Brother Devon talks respectfully about Booker T and Scott Steiner. More kissing up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, neither of which are current teams. Talking up the Team 3D versus Booker T and Scott Steiner tag team title match.

Match #5: Scott Steiner (w/ Booker T and Sharmell) defeats Brother Ray (w/ Brother Devon): This was a “No DQ” match. Steiner gets the mic and blah blah blah. Brother Ray takes a mic and kisses up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, before pointing out that garbage is also a household name, and, like them, it’s getting old and stinking. Slow, plodding, power game. Sharmell and Booker interfere. Ray takes Steiner’s chain mail headdress and puts it on. The British Invasion come down and distract, allowing Booker and Steiner to put Ray through a table and get the win. This was barely a match, and far too short for this sort of thing. With interference almost right away, it was pointless.

To the contract signing! Mike Tenay oversees as Mick Foley and Kevin Nash sign contracts for the Legends title match on Sunday at teh “Hard Justice” ppv. Both guys have final pre-match comments. Foley says that he doesn’t think that he’s ever had a conversation with Nash that didn’t revolve around money. Doesn’t a sense of pride or accomplishment meananything to Nash? Nash tells Foley that he could have made $20,000 at the past weekend’s authograph session, which he thinks that Foley cost him. Why doesn’t Foley take the easy way out, like Nash always has? Foley says that Nash may look down on him, but he loves wrestling with the sort of passion that would allow him to do it for free. Nash strips down and calls himself an athlete and a businessman, while Foley is a pathetic wrestler. Foley says that he’ll bring his set of skills on Sunday, and Nash can bring his, and they’ll see what happens. Foley says that they’re on a wrestling show, in a wrestling ring, with a title contract for a wrestling match, and nobody’s going through that table? Nash says that he doesn’t get paid for that, so he won’t go through it or put Mick through it for free. Mick says that he would put Nash through the table for free, and then announces that he thinks that he will go through the table for free. Foley runs off the ropes and hurls himself through the table. People cheer.

To the video package for the “Steel Asylum” match!

To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan feels no pressure, and is completely confident that he will win. He guarantees victory, in fact.

Match #6: Matt Morgan (w/ Kurt Angle) defeats AJ Styles (w/ Sting): This was the rubber match to determine the third man in the three-way dance at “Hard Justice” for the World Heavyweight title. AJ takes the match to Morgan by running the ropes and landing a flip dive over the top rope. AJ and Morgan fight on the floor, and AJ takes Morgan down with a flying forearm. Morgan is finally rolled into the ring and the bell rings to start the match. AJ puts Morgan in the Figure Four leg lock for a long time. Morgan screams, but won’t tap. Morganmakes it to the ropes, and AJ breaks the hold. Morgan gets his wind back, and uses his power against AJ. Morgan dominates AJ. Don West says that Angle has announced that this is Morgan’s last test for MEM membership. If Morgan wins this match, and helps him retain the title, he’ll be in. AJ kicks out several times, but Morgan continues to toy with him, and won’t allow AJ a chance to get in any offense. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint in the corner, but AJ dodges and lands a few punches. AJ hits a missile dropkick, but Morgan kicks out at two. Morgan catches AJ in a side slam, but AJ kicks out at two. AJ hits a Pele out of nowhere, but Morgan kicks out just in time. Morgan takes AJ’s head off with a Carbon Footprint, and gets the pin. Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle, and Sting will fight in the “Hard Justice” main event. Post-match, the entire MEM comes to the ring, applauding. Angle gets a mic.

Angle praises Morgan, and claims that the MEM was scouting him to recruit him all along. Morgan says that he thought that he was selling himself to the MEM, not the other way around. Angle says that Morgan has one last little thing to do before getting in to the MEM. Morgan says that Angle can’t possibly be asking him to help Angle retain the title. Angle says that he’s not asking it, he’s demanding it. Morgan calls Angle “little man,” and tells him that no one demands anything of “The Blueprint.” He isn’t passing up this opportunity, and he will be walking out of the match as the new World Heavyweight Champion. Angle is furious, and has to be restrained by the MEM as Morgan exits up the ramp. Morgan’s face turn is here.

“Hard Justice” Predictions:

Bounty Match: Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

Abyss needs the win here.

Winner gets World Heavyweight title shot from the “Feast or Fired” briefcase: Hernandez vs. Big Rob Terry

Hernandez has got to get the win here.

New Japan IWGP Tag Team Championship match:  The British Invasion (champs) vs. Beer Money

The British Invasion retains, if only because New Japan already issued one statement (later retracted) that they didn’t recognize the title change, and it can’t possibly happen again.

“Steel Asylum” match (winner is #1 Contender for the X-Division title): Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Daniels vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red

If there were a god, Chris Sabin would win. That being said, Jay Lethal won the last one. I’m picking Daniels to win. This is all null and void if Don West was right, and Elijah Burke debuts as “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero in this match. If he does, you can just hand him the win, as that’s the track record here. 

Knockouts Championship title match: Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky) vs. ODB (w/ Cody Deaner)

Angelina retains. Please.

X-Division title match: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Taz)

Homicide retains. He hasn’t had the title long, and there’s been no focus on it since he won it. He shouldn’t lose it yet.

Tag Team Championship match: Booker T and Scott Steiner (champs) vs. Team 3D

Team 3D should win here. I doubt that they will, but they should.

Legends Championship match: Mick Foley (champ) vs. Kevin Nash

Foley retains. Why let him win it if he’s going to lose it right away?

World Heavyweight title match: Kurt Angle (champ) vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting

Angle retains. It’s Angle, duh.

That’s it for the real-time. Check back Sunday for a review of “Hard Justice!”

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

Tonight’s show opens with Taz hitting the ring, and the Human Suplex Machine has a microphone! Taz talks aboutwrestling for a little company called ECW, and sustaining injuries that ended his career. ECW gets cheered. Hetalks about announcing in WWE. WWE gets booed. While flipping channels, Taz came across TNA and Samoa Joe. Joe isthe second coming of himself, with one exception. Taz never felt remorse for his brutal actions, and Joe did. Tazfelt that he could change that, and get Joe to the next level. Taz said that he and Joe would always be indebted toKurt Angle and the Main Event Mafia for accepting Joe’s services. Joe is the only MEMber with no gold, but thatwill change momentarily. Joe is going to defeat Homicide for the X-Division title. Beat Joe if you can, Homicide,and survive if he lets you!  

Drowgoddess Thoughts (DGT): Good, solid promo from Taz. Everything was wildly cheered until he got to the partabout thanking Angle and the MEM, but even that was still cheered too much for a heel faction. How many mentors /teachers does Samoa Joe need? Until the middle of 2006, Joe was The Man in TNA, and had everything going for him.He was already at “the next level,” and then TNA became Total Nonstop Angle, and everything went downhill. I’dpersonally rather see Taz and Joe not part of the MEM, but that’s as may be.

Match #1: Homicide defeats Samoa Joe: This match was for the X-Division title, but Homicide only won by DQ. Joe hastaken on as many of Taz’s moves and mannerisms as possible, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The majority of the offense was Joe’s, but it was hardly a squash. Joe got Homicide in the corner for a facewash, and the new referee tried to pull Joe away. Joe punched him. Homicide takes advantage and attempts the Gringo Cutter (Is it still the Gringo Cutter when done on a Samoan?), but Joe reverses it into the Kokina Clutch. Joe’s victory seems assured, but the referee disqualifies Joe for hitting him. Joe responds by stomping Homicide even more. Strange music plays, and Hernandez rushes the ring! Hernandez makes the save and stares down Joe, but Taz pulls Joe out of the ring in a “not now” gesture.   

DGT: These two can really go. Please let them. The X-Division title shouldn’t be a limitation, as both of these guys were ROH World Champion, and could certainly handle the top spot in TNA. Hernandez looked really good, and has lost some weight. Why on earth would you change the music of someone who is making his return? Bring him back to the music the fans know, and change it later. Samoa Joe and Hernandez could have an awesome World title program. Could. Please??? Don West repeatedly made the point that the X-Division title and the Knockouts title did actually matter to the MEM, but that they were looking at getting all the gold one step at a time. That TNA acknowledged this is surprising, but hey, maybe they read some of the complaints. One can only hope. 

To the back! Mick Foley is down over Kurt Angle being the new “golden boy” of TNA management, and getting his way in all things.

To the ring! The entirety of the Main Event Mafia enters. Angle says that while everyone in TNA SHOULD be afraid for their jobs, he isn’t going to fire anyone because he’s a generous man. TNA management has agreed to all of the Main Event Mafia’s demands because if they hadn’t, the MEM would have walked out of TNA, and the company would have nothing left but a bunch of losers. TNA needs the Main Event Mafia in order to survive. Angle trashes Foley, and asks just what is it that Foley does in TNA? He just takes up space, and he isn’t the wrestler that he used to be. Foley’s music kicks in and he comes to the ring. For the ten minutes or so that he was kicking Angle’s ass all over the ring, he was the wrestler that he used to be. Angle goes on at great length about Foley working TNA management and making them believe that Foley was necessary to TNA, while the MEM was not. If Angle and Joe hadn’t outsmarted Foley and taken his title belt, Foley would still be working the office. Angle pulls out some keys on a huge “TNA” lanyard, and says that with Jarrett gone and Sting a thousand miles away licking his wounds, the only thing left to take care of is Foley. These are the keys to Foley’s office, and tonight, Angle and Foley will have a “Keys on a Pole” match to see who gets them.    

DGT: No good can ever come from any match situation involving the words “on a pole.” Ever. EVER! Because the MEM won three major titles at the ppv, TNA management has given them carte blanche to take over the show and run everything? That seems to be what they’re telling us. Kurt Angle said “work” a record number of times. Actually, if the entirety of the MEM left TNA, what would be left is a damn fine wrestling company. Angle buries the entire non-MEM roster and he gets cheered for it? That alone should indicate a problem in how the MEM is portrayed. As a gift to the fans, the MEM will defend their titles tonight, but they apparently get to choose their own opponents. One ticket to Squash City, please.

To the back! The British Invasion informs us that they have a rematch against Team 3D next week for the IWGP Tag Team titles. They are aligning themselves with the MEM in their pursuit of power, money, and glory. Tonight, however, they will take out the TNA Originals.

Match #2: Kevin Nash (w/ Jenna Morasca) defeats Amazing Red: This “match” was for the Legends title. It ended in about two minutes. Red’s offense had no effect, and Nash hit the jacknife powerbomb for the quick win.

DGT: Don West’s completely over-the-top commentary about how much of a challenge Red would be would have been funnier of a bigger deal had been made of the MEM choosing their own opponents. Red got brought in as the next Rey Mysterio, and now he’s being jobbed out in two minutes? Jeebus.

To the back! Hernandez cuts a solid promo about having Jarrett and Sting’s backs. Jarrett gave him a chance when no one else would, and he’s standing up for TNA. Homicide comes in and argues with Hernandez over “saving” him earlier.

DGT: Aww, come on! Don’t break up LAX! A tag team doesn’t have to break up in order to move on to singles accomplishments.

To Mick Foley’s office! JB asks Foley about his fear of losing everything tonight. Foley mocks the very concept of “on a pole” matches, saying that the Burr-Hamilton duel could have been settled that way and no one had to die. The Obama-McCain presidency could have been settled that way. Foley makes a big deal about keeping the caricature drawing of himself and JB, no matter what. Rocco and Sally Boy come in and tell Mick that they’ve got his back. They’ll do anything that he needs. Foley asks them to get rid of the “MEM” logos on their shirts, like he asked them to six weeks ago.

Booker T and Scott Steiner watch this exchange on the monitor in the MEM dressing room. They laugh and announce that they’ve found their tag team opponents for the evening.

Match #3: Booker T (w/ Sharmell) and Scott Steiner defeat Rocco and Sally Boy: This match was for the Tag Team titles. Another total squash that the MEMbers treated as beneath them and an absolute joke. Rocco hits Steiner with a big splash, but the referee was pulled out of the ring by Sharmell. One extremely poorly done Book End later, Steiner follows up with a downward spiral and gets the win.

DGT: I just threw up in my mouth a little.

To Mick Foley’s office! Eric Young apologizes for his recent behavior, and says that his problem is with Jarrett personally, not with TNA. He’ll do whatever Foley needs him to do. Foley makes him the last man on the TNA Originals side for the massive tag match later.

DGT: You know what’s coming. Don’t pretend you don’t.

Match #4: Traci Brooks wins the Knockouts battle royale: Eleven Knockouts competed for $50,000 and the position of “Chosen One” for the MEM. “Knockout Law” Traci Brooks was the referee. Awesome Kong and The Beautiful People got televised entrances. Sarita, ODB (w/ Cody Deaner), Daffney, Alissa Flash, Sojourner Bolt, Taylor Wilde, and Tara were the others. Elimination order was Daffney, Madison Rayne, Sojourner Bolt, Velvet Sky, Taylor Wilde, Alissa Flash, Angelina Love, ODB, and Sarita. The final two were Awesome Kong and Tara, but as they went at it in the ropes, Traci pushed them over the top rope and claimed victory for herself. Nash entered the ring and Traci hugged him. Post-match, Tara low-blowed referee Slick Johnson, who was the outside referee.       

DGT: I hate huge clustermess battle royales. Kevin Nash came down during the match for commentary and made a lot of breast jokes. Hooray. If Traci is back to wrestle, good for her. Apparently Sharmell and Jenna Morasca are not in contention for the Knockouts title, so there is, in fact, a wrestling god.

To the back! The Beautiful People rant over not being the ones “servicing” the MEM. They talk trash about the other Knockouts, ODB in particular. This brings in Cody Deaner to stand up for his woman. TBP pretend to come on to him, and he says that he knows that they all want a piece of the Deaner. He invites them to smell him, bragging about his “mi la toilette” that his Mother Deaner got him at a flea market. Velvet Sky low blows Deaner, and ODB runs in as TBP scatter.

DGT: Fun. The Beautiful People are always great to watch, and this segment was no exception. Cody Deaner was actually funny with his “The Deaner diamonds are shattered!” line.

To the locker room! The TNA Originals of AJ Styles, Beer Money, Daniels, and Eric Young prepare for their match. AJ says that the Originals dropped the ball at the ppv, allowing the MEM to take over. Tonight, though, they’re all on the same page.

DGT: Ever since the MEM formed, this has been the response of the Originals/Frontline/Whatever. We’re sorry, we dropped the ball. We let everybody down. Could we possibly be a little less emo and a little more pissed off about it?

Match #5: The British Invasion, Kiyoshi, and Shiek Abdul Bashir defeated AJ Styles, Daniels, Beer Money, and Eric Young: Sort of. Good action for what there was, but far too short. The whole point of the match was that Eric Young turned on the Originals, gave AJ Styles a piledriver, and helped the international faction win. He then left with them.

DGT: Placing Eric Young as the leader of the World Elite faction is good. He’s not American. He’s been in TNA from the beginning. He has legitimate grievances concerning his career in TNA. He’s done the best work of his career since his heel turn. He needed a new storyline immediately, as the Young/Jarrett bit had to be scrapped. The problem here is that any surprise factor was totally killed by having Young go to Foley and apologize prior to the match. Why not just announce, “We’re going to swerve you now?” Most fans do not need to be led around by the nose to follow the program. I would rather have not seen Young’s actions coming from a mile away. Nice work from the announce team on the “unwritten rule” of not using the piledriver because it was so dangerous, and Young’s use of it.

To the back! The World Elite celebrates, and Eric Young explains that he was invited to join the group some time ago. Mick Foley rushes in and attacks Young.

Match #6: Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley ends in “no contest”: Yes, an “on a pole” match went to a no-contest. Foley and Angle were both rather beaten up from their ppv match, and showed it. Foley put Angle down with a near-minute-long Mandible Claw, but as he tried to climb the pole, the MEM ran down and attacked him. Foley was beaten down and held in place while Angle screamed at him in barely comprehensible English. Music plays, and Bobby Lashley comes down. He’s all smiles and hugs Angle. Lashley sets up to hit Foley, but turns around and hits Angle instead. He clotheslines all the other MEMbers, gets a big pop, and looks threatening.

DGT: So a guy who has never been in TNA before, a guy who publicly says that his main focus is fighting Brock Lesnar in UFC and that TNA is basically a side job to earn extra money, is suddenly the one and only guy who can save TNA? The MEM had complete dominance until Lashley punched Angle? Even if you’re a Lashley fan, this is insulting beyond belief. Once again, we’re back to the “Only an ex-WWE guy can save us!” mentality. Daniels, AJ, Joe, Sabin, Shelley, Hernandez, Homicide, Jay Lethal, and even Consequences Creed might not agree with the idea. I know, who cares what they think? I never cared about Lashley in WWE, and I don’t now. I stand by my previous comments that he wasn’t a big deal in WWE. He was just another painfully green musclehead who was pushed to the moon and made champion much too quickly because Vince drooled over his look. Any credit that he gets for bringing the experience of a babyface WWE champion is too much credit.  

FINAL THOUGHTS: Given that the MEM was hand-picking their own opponents for tonight’s title defenses, I’m pretty sure that I was supposed to hate them. Good. I’m all in favor of a do-over of the MEM/Originals idea, but given how terribly that was messed up, even my hope is limited. Right now, the MEM come off as cool heels, or flat out faces, and are cheered as such. No one challenges the MEM over comments like “If we left, all that would be here are a bunch of losers and the company would die,” and “Everyone not in the MEM is in the same place he was seven years ago, and not in our league.” There’s a definite line between stacking the odds against the faces and making them look like idiots. We’ve already seen Bachelor #2. Try something different this time.

The Lord and Master of Randomness, JT, will be enjoying a well-deserved vacation for the next ten days or so, but check back with us for the usual BWF goodness!

 
Peace out,
Drowgoddess

What’s up folks?  How’s everyone doing?  Welcome to another edition of your favorite article by yours truly.  So lets get going:

Yep, I actually paid to see TNA live and here’s what happened: