Tag Archive: JBL

  1. RYTMAN’S RAW (REAL TIME-ISH, MAYBE?) REPORT

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    Tonight!  I will once again attempt to cover tonight’s WWE RAW broadcast in real time for you, the BWF faithful.

    This is the last RAW before Wrestle-Mania this weekend, and WWE’s last chance to sell us on the Big Show. (Not the one in the six-man, although technically…) No, I mean the ENTIRE EVENT!  Will they convince us to shell out $60-70 bucks in our respective areas this year?

    Personally, I doubt it.

    From WWE.com;  “The Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, WWE Champion The Rock, John Cena, Triple H and CM Punk will all be at tonight’s Raw in Washington. What will unfold with Wrestle-Mania just days away?”

    We’re getting a rundown of what to expect at Mania and what to look forward to tonight.  Shawn Michaels will be here tonight for Triple H.  John Cena responds to the Rock’s shot last week. Punk, Taker, Lesnar and… more stuff.

    Cena’s out first and this is NOT a Cena crowd, here in DC.  Jerry Lawler doesn’t even bother selling it as a “mixed” reaction.  Lawler has Michael Cole and JBL with him at ringside.

    “I stand in the middle of a house divided.” – John Cena

    Rytman Remark: No you don’t John.  They hate you.

    John refers to everyone here tonight as “Cena-crats” and “Rock-publicans.” He gives Rock credit for conquering everything in his path and even goes so far as to call him the greatest WWE champion of all time.  He talks about the pain of his loss last year and how the Rock will lose his custom-made WWE  title in his first defense (of that specific belt.) He will happily keep the new belt just so the Rock will have to live with knowing every time someone brings up WWE, he’ll have to live with knowing someone else is defending that belt every night.

    Cole asks us who we think will win Rock/Cena 2 and invites us all to “Tout” about it on line.  He talks Jerry into posting a “Tout” about who he thinks will win Rock/Cena 2.  Lawler goes with history and chooses Rock.

    3MB is in the ring as Randy Orton, Sheamus, and the Big Show make their entrances.  We get a look at last week’s Smackdown where they were able to fight off an attack by the Shield.

    RANDY ORTON/SHEAMUS/BIG SHOW VS. 3MB (HEATH SLATER/JINDER MAHAL/DREW MCINTYRE)

    Match starts with the faces bouncing around Slater.  McIntyre tags in and takes over with a missile drop-kick.  Sheamus gets triple-teamed for a few moments but the match ends just the way you expected.  RKO, Brogue-Kick, and Big K.O. on Mahal for the three-count.

    After the match, the Shield comes out, cutting a promo from the crowd.  The Shield congratulates our three heroes on their huge win, and convincing themselves they’re a team.  But the Shield knows the truth; they are phonies and at Mania, everyone will believe in the Shield.

    We come back to the announcement of Zeb Coulter getting in the ring tonight against World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio.  We go to Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger cutting a promo in front of our Nation’s Capital.  Our country is broken because we all are weak. If we don’t like Swagger as World Heavyweight Champion, then we don’t deserve to be Americans.

    Current WHC Alberto Del Rio responds in an interview segment.  One of the great things about America is freedom of speech, and if Del Rio doesn’t like what Zeb says, he can do something about it.  He will tonight, in the ring.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN (W/KANE) VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/AJ & BIG E.)

    This is a fast-paced back/forth with Ziggler on the defensive.  AJ skips around Kane, setting him up for a charge from Big E.  Bryan takes the E down with a flying kick to the head and Ziggler gets the three-count on Bryan w/a handfull of tights.  Big E. nails Bryan and Kane tries to make the save.  Big E. powers out of the choke-slam and lays out Kane with his drop across the shoulder.

    Back from break, we get  a look back at last August when Brock Lesnar took out Shawn Michaels.

    Mr. Wrestle-Mania, HOFamer, and the Heart-Break Kid, SHAWN MICHAELS is here.  He hits the ring as we get a look back at the Lesnar/Triple H feud of last year, with Lesnar breaking Trip’s arm in April, and winning their match at Summer-Slam.

    “You didn’t think we’d have Wrestle-Mania without MR. Wrestle-Mania did you?” – Shawn Michaels

    Shawn is out here to talk about Mania.  He runs down the card, bringing our attention to one particular match, because he and his arm are part of the history in that match.  Triple H comes out to reassure Shawn he knows what he’s doing, and he understands that Shawn was in the same spot Trips was in when Shawn retired.  Shawn says their perdicaments couldn’t be more different.  When Shawn lost his career-match, his opponent was just as heartbroken as him, because they had respect for each other.  Brock Lesnar respects nothing.  Triple H asks Shawn if he’s trying to talk him out of it.  Shawn tells him he’d better kick Lesnar’s ass.  Shawn will be in Triple H’s corner to make sure he does.  They get ready to give the crowd the “suck it,” chant, when Lesnar comes out w/Heyman.  Heyman lays it on the line.  Triple H had better get used to dissapointment.  At Mania, he will disapoint the fans, his best friend, his father-in-law, the board of directors and his wife…

    “…But she’s probably used to that.” – Paul Heyman

    Shawn and Hunter make the mistake of fighting from emotion, and that’s why Shawn had to retire, and that’s why Triple H will lose at Mania.

    WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS. ZACK RYDER

    Miz joins the announce team at ringside.  Ryder starts off strong, but Barrett takes control and beats him down.  On the outside, Barrett jaw-jacks w/Miz, giving Ryder an opening.  Ryder hits the “brosky-boot” for two, but Barrett takes over and ends this with the Bell-Hammer Elbow.

    Rytman Remark: Announce team spent the whole match trying to hard sell Miz as a threat to Barrett.  Came off pretty desperate.  Maybe Barrett might retain.

    Backstage: RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Gurerro and her assistant Brad Maddox are talking when Santino Morella walks in, telling them Vince McMahon is here tonight and he’s P-O’d about them.  “Bricki” get freaked, until Santino reveals it was just an “April Fools” joke.  Vicki orders Santino into the ring, as Maddox says we’ll see who the fool is.

    SANTINO MORELLA VS. MARK HENRY AND DO I EVEN HAVE TO BOTHER TYPING ANYTHING?

    We get a look at last week’s Smackdown when Henry attacked Ryback during their weight-lifting challenge.  Cole tells us this did not violate their “no-contact” clause because Henry never touched Ryback, he just tried to shove a set of weights into his throat.

    Rytman Remark: Are you fucking kidding me?

    Mark grabs Santino.  Santino threatens to bring out the Cobr-World’s Strongest Slam, three-count.

    “FEED ME MORE!”

    Ryback is out and in the ring.  Henry reminds him of the no-contact clause, and walks off with a smile.  Ryback responds by picking up Santino AND RAMMING HIM INTO HENRY.  He checks if Santino is okay, THEN HOISTS HIM UP AND GORILLA PRESS-SLAMS HIM ON TO HENRY.  BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THE “GOOD GUY” DOES!

    We go to break with Jack Swagger giving Zeb a pep-talk before his match with Del Rio

    We come back to Matt Striker asking C.M. Punk if he’s disrespecting Paul Bearer’s memory…

    “A better question is DO I GIVE A DAMN?” – C.M. Punk

    Rytman Remark: I’ve been asking myself the same question.

    Punk actually shocks me for a second with a remark about Paul Bearer’s streak of waking up every morning, which has been broken.   He warns Taker that if he loses his temper, Punk will win by DQ.  If he takes his eyes off the prise, he just might get choked out.  If he loses focus, he just might be down one second too long.  Punk makes it clear all he wants is to win, and he will spit in faces and walk on graves to do it, so that whenever anyone thinks of Wrestle-Mania, the grandest stage of all, they will think of C.M. Punk.

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. ZEB COULTER

    Before the break, we saw Swagger breaking the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez, making this personal.  Ricardo intros ADR and Del Rio sends him to the back to be safe.  Just as the match is starting, Ricardo comes back out, refusing to leave.  Zeb hangs back, close to the ropes as Swagger stalks Ricardo.  Ricardo raises a crutch, but Zeb swipes it.  Swagger goes after the bad ankle, Del Rio kicks him down and saves Ricardo.  Zeb wails on Del Rio with the Crutch when Del Rio rolls back in.  Ref calls for the DQ as Swagger and Zeb beat down ADR with Ricardo’s crutches.  Ricardo tries to get involved but Swagger swats him down.

    Back from break, IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……

    The Rock is out to make his big speech to the DC crowd.  Rock’s new movie, G.I. JOE: RETALLIATION is no.1 in the wold this week.  We’re reminded to “Tout” our opinions on who will win at Mania.

    Rock’s connection with the people is the only reason he’s standing in the middle of the ring right now.  This Sunday isn’t about redemption, it’s about the will of the people, specifically the will of the people to see John Cena get curb-stomped.  The will of the people can change the world, and maybe if the people will it, the Rock would have to live in this town, in the big white house up the road, and maybe…

    “We go from President Barack to President Rock!” – The Rock

    Rytman Remark: If that happens, I’m surrendering to China.

    The Rock makes it very clear that the only way Cena will get the Rock’s title, is if the Rock rolls it up into a ball, lights it on fire, and shoves it up Cena’s candy ass.

    Back from break, we get another look at Fandango attacking Jericho last week.

    BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS. CHRIS JERICHO

    Seriously, you can tell they’re just going throught the motions until Fandango comes out.  It’s a basic back and forth with Jericho taking over with a hurra-con-rana off the top rope.  Cue Fandango and partner comming out.  The match comes to a dead stop as we go to break.

    Apparently, during the break, Fandango actually gave Jericho a “two” with a score-card.  Cesaro takes conrtol and spends a lot of time working the neck.  Cesaro dominates Jericho with brute force, but Jericho’s agility turns the tide.  Fandango walks to the ring, giving Jericho a “three.” Cesaro counters Jericho into the gut wrench, but Jericho comes back with high flying offense and takes out Fandango with a flying kick.  Jericho wins this with the “Walls Of Jericho” but Fandango attacks from behind.  He finishes Jericho off with the flying leg drop and gives us all the proper pronounciation of his name.

    “FAHN-DAHN-GOH!” – Fandango

    Jericho is left laying as Fandango and partner dance off.

    Up next is OUR MAIN EVENT…

    A promo…

    From THE UNDERTAKER!

    We come back to Touts.

    Rytman Remark: That’s pretty much all I have to say about it.

    The Funkadactyls are out w/Brodus and “Sweet T” for a Divas tag team match.  They do the entrance and go to break.

    Rytman Remark: You couldn’t just finish the commercials then start the match?

    THE FUNKADACTYLS (w/BRODUS/TENSAI) VS. THE BELLA TWINS  SISTERS (w/TEAM RHODES SCHOLLARS)

    And yes, we will get an eight-person mixed tag at Mania, Brodus, Sweet T, and the Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Schollars and the Bellas.

    Naomi is the star of this match, carrying the workrate and spending most of it getting double-teamed.  The match is not as bad as it should be, but the Bellas are showing the ring rust.  The match consists of botched-spots and really should’ve been booked quicker.  Cameron tags in and comes off as the most capable of the girls.  The Bellas take it with a reversed roll-up as we go to break.

    The Undertaker is out.  Punk’s WWE title reign lasted over 400 days, but the pain he’s facing will last for eternity.  Taker realizes the streak may come to an end, but Punk won’t live to talk about it.  Suddenly, a group of torch-bearing, chanting druids enter.  Taker looks on in confusion.

    OH YES!!!

    PAUL HEYMAN STANDS ON TOP OF THE STAGE DRESSED AS PAUL BEARER!

    An enraged Undertaker goes after Heyman, then stops, realizing he’s been lead into a trap.  Taker unloads on the druids, but gets taken down from behind by the one he was looking for, C.M. Punk.  Punk beats down the Taker.  Taker reaches for the urn, but Punk has it, and uses it to beat the deadman down.

    Punk stands over the Taker, holding the urn.  He opens the urn… and pours the ashes inside all over the Taker.  He lets them spill through his fingers and throws them in Takers face.  RAW ends with C.M. Punk mocking the Undertakers classic pose, as the Taker lies beaten on the ramp.

    Rytman Remarks: Wow, I mean wow.  I was going to say this RAW was another auto-pilot show coasting into Mania until the end. 

    Now look, I know those weren’t Paul Bearer’s actual ashes.  I know it was part of the act.  It’s just… I think it was too much.  It just took me somewhere really uncomfortable.

    To be fair, they HAD to do something to get this show some momentum, but still, it just seems desperate. 

    I really do hope it pays off.

  2. WWE RAW 12/17/12: The Slammy Awards

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    One day after we gave out our own awards for the year in wrestling, the WWE copies us by giving out their annual Slammy Awards.  I, for one, think the BWF Awards are more prestigious.  After all, you can’t buy a BWF Award.  Anyway, let’s get started so I can finish this by 3AM.

    I watch 30 minutes of RAW.  I leave for work.  I obtain a copy of RAW when I get to work.  And since I don’t have the foresight to start my review while I’m watching the first half hour, I have to sit through it again.  That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.

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  3. BWF Radio Episode 36: Special SummerSlam Edition!

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    Joe, G, and JT are joined this week by WrasslorMonkey from Wrestling With Text, Jonkind from Wonderpod Online, our very own Drowgoddess, and have audio sent in by “Professor Salmon and Zwan.”  This unique cast of characters spend the first hour giving their predictions and thoughts on tonight’s SummerSlam event from the WWE, and the second hour is spent, as usual, talking wrestling  news.  Topics of discussion this week include injuries to Yoshi Tatsu and Pope D’Angelo Dinero, reactions to Kevin Nash’s comments about Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, A.W.’s continued ranting, JBL’s thoughts on wrestlers “stealing” moves, the Scooby Doo/WWE collaboration, Claire Lynch’s apparent TNA departure, and much, much more!

    You can find our guests for this week’s show elsewhere on the interwebs.  Jonkind is around on Wonderpod-Online, Wrasslor Monkey runs Wrestling With Text, Professor Salmon runs the music blog Music Times Two and works for Original Stampede Wrestling, and Zwan is behind Ailean Environmental Ltd.

    Download the podcast here:  BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 36 (MP3, 2:12:03)

    iTunes version

  4. WrestleMania XXIV

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    Day 5 of WrestleMania week, and we come to an event that’s near and dear to my heart, WrestleMania XXIV.  But first, a little history.  Sometime after WrestleMania 23, Vince McMahon’s limousine infamously blew up on an episode of Monday Night RAW, and I was inspired to get on the forums at a wrestling website I’d been following for a while.  On this message board was a guy named JT, who it turned out was pretty much me if I were exactly three years older and lived a few hundred miles east of here.  This website can be traced back to that single event.  Anyways, I decided that I was going to take my girlfriend, who is now my wife, to WrestleMania, and we did.  We did the Hall of Fame ceremony too, though we missed out on the opportunity to catch one of the TNA tapings that weekend.  So here now is the event I’ve been most looking forward to covering this week, WrestleMania XXIV!  Let’s roll!

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  5. Random Randomness

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    Well here I am back on my usual time slot on Sunday, mostly because I didn’t feel like doing this yesterday, but it’s great to be back in my regular time slot.  Will this be a permanent thing, I don’t know just yet, but for right now does it really even matter as long as you get an article from me right.  Well since we lost an hour today, lets get this party started: (more…)

  6. More Mania Thoughts and Predictions

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    It just wouldn’t be Wrestlemania Week without every keyboard-bashing monkey who knows the difference between a wrist lock and a wristwatch weighing in on match predictions and offering generally self-important commentary on the biggest wrestling – er – sports entertainment show of the year. Know what I have to say to that? My turn!

    WWE Champion Triple H vs. Randy Orton

    Trips wins. As if there’s any doubt. This was a storyline that really could have gone places. It did, but all the wrong places. Randy Orton was hotter than he had ever been, and people were absolutely into him. This whole story just got dragged out too long, and should have been left alone earlier. I’ll probably get slammed majorly for this, but the last thing that I wanted to see was the McMahon family stepping up to the Legacy at the end of RAW. This could have been THE moment for Orton and the Legacy. It won’t.

    World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show (Triple Threat Match)

    John Cena wins. Again, it’s not necessarily the best idea, but no way is this guy losing at Mania. I like a comedy love triangle story as much as anyone, but this one really hasn’t clicked well. Wrestlemania should be about the titles and major feuds, and throwing the “Who will Win Vickie Guerrero?” aspect into the match really cheapens it. A World Heavyweight Championship Title match does not need that type of extra flavor.

    Intercontinental Champion JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

    This match screams “Oh crap! We forgot to put the guy who single-handedly draws the Hispanic demographic on the show!” The IC title should be a major reward, not a consolation prize, which is what it looks like by having JBL win it and Rey challenging for it. With all of JBL’s promises to do something legendary at Mania, look for him to retain the IC title, retire it, and take his rightful place at the announce table.

    Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy (Extreme Rules Match)

    This looks to be really good. Matt versus Jeff couldn’t really have happened before this year and actually worked, and I’m hoping to see an absolutely unbridled vicious side of Matt Hardy in this match. Matt has pushed and pushed Jeff, but this story isn’t ready to end at Mania. It really hasn’t played out long enough. There’s still more to come, and with that thought in mind, Matt wins after using his more grounded technical skills and savage brutality to take out the more daredevil Jeff. Jeff really shouldn’t win until the feud is ready to end, and it shouldn’t yet. I’m all for things beginning and ending at Mania, but this story just doesn’t feel complete.

    WWE Tag Team Champions [Carlito and Primo Colon] vs. World Tag Team Champions [The Miz and John Morrison] (Unified Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match)

    The Miz and John Morrison win, and unify the tag team belts. Please don’t let this match come down to the interference of the feuding and still interchangeable Bella twins! Please? The fact that there’s as much focus on these two twits as there is on the actual tag teams and belts causes concern. No title unification match at Wrestlemania should hang on the interference of irrelevant valets. Period.

    Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

    Undertaker wins, and the Streak (insert Ray Stevens song here) remains intact. This match will be great. Probably the match of the night. And well should it be, considering the two guys involved. The fact that Mania is in Texas, and both Michaels and Taker are from Texas, will kick this match off the chart. However, the very idea that Shawn Michaels should be the one to end Undertaker’s Mania win streak is incomprehensible. The Streak is almost as legendary as the man who holds it. The person who ends it, if anyone ever does (and it might not ought to be ended at all), would be catapulted to the highest level and be forever remembered in the annals of pro wrestling as the guy who ended a legendary winning streak. Michaels doesn’t need that. He’s already a legend in his own right, and, in a sense, ending Taker’s streak would be wasted on him. It’s not as if he suddenly needs to get over after a lengthy absence. If someone is going to finally defeat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, it should not be Shawn Michaels.

    Money in the Bank Ladder Match (Mark Henry, Finley, CM Punk, Kane, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, MVP [US Champion], Christian)

    I would love to see CM Punk win this because CM Punk rules. He’s my favorite guy in the match, and I’m totally biased in his favor. The fact that he has already won it once, though, makes it unlikely. As much as I love Punk, he really shouldn’t even be in this match. Previous winners shouldn’t be in it again, and if they must, it should be quite a while. Several years, possibly. Punk should be in a one-on-one Mania match, which is described below. Christian winning the MITB would be amazing, because he would then be in a position to insert himself in angles involving Edge or the Hardys afterwards. He’s certainly the most experienced “ladder match” guy of the lot. However, Vince doesn’t see him as a star, and the MITB isn’t just a ladder match. It’s a guaranteed title shot, and I don’t see Christian being allowed that at this point. Therefore, with my first choice (CM Punk) and my second choice (Christian) being highly unlikely, I’m calling MVP to win it. He has the US title, which means that he’ll probably have to lose it to someone before cashing in his title shot. This could be the start of a major angle for MVP if he wins.

    25-Diva Battle Royal for title of “Miss WrestleMania”

    Ugh. This is a complete waste, but not for the reasons one might assume. Lance Storm was completely right when he said that this match was a good idea because it gave more of the women a piece of the big Mania payday, which they would not otherwise get. That much is absolutely fair. Unfortunately for them, a 25-person over-the-top-rope elimination battle royal is going to be a giant mess no matter who is in it. That’s just too many people in one ring at a time, and all of them can’t even wrestle to begin with. Candice Michelle and Ashley Massaro won’t be involved, so the chances of serious injury for everyone else in the match just went down. Some of the truly important former Divas aren’t going to be involved, and it really doesn’t feel significant. Sunny will be there, as will Victoria, Torrie Wilson, Jackie Gayda-Haas, and Molly Holly, but let’s look at the list of those who will not. Wendy Richter turned them down, supposedly. Sable and Dawn Marie are both pregnant, and won’t be there. Lita won’t be there, and after how she was treated at the end of her tenure, one can’t blame her at all. The Fabulous Moolah is no longer with us, not that she should have won such a thing, but come on, it’s Moolah. Mae Young won’t be involved in the match itself, but, to be fair, she IS almost 90 years old now. Amy Weber and Joy Giovanni don’t count as major contributors, but they won’t be there. Christy Hemme and Jacqueline (the original Jackie) obviously weren’t asked, as they currently work for TNA. Gail Kim is there. Terri Runnels isn’t. Debra won’t be there. I don’t personally know about Chyna (unlikely) or Jazz. There may not even be 25 women to put in the match by the time it’s all done. With some of the truly legendary Divas not being involved in this match, the original point seems to have been lost. Even so, I call Trish Stratus to win, as she deserves the title of “Miss Wrestlemania” (such as it is) more than anyone, past or present.

    Chris Jericho vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat & Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka (w/ Ric Flair)

    This is terrible. Chris Jericho wrestling three old guys who can barely move, bona fide legends though they may be, is a very bad decision. Sure, this could all be a swerve and Stone Cold comes out at the actual show to defend the honor of legends everywhere, and it’s really a one-on-one match. The entire angle also could have and should have served the purpose of elevating someone who stepped up to fight on behalf of the legends who inspired him to get into wrestling in the first place. Someone like CM Punk would have been perfect for this, despite the fact that Punk has already been World Champion once. Imagine the absolute GOLD that a promo war between Jericho and Punk would have been! Jericho takes out legend after legend, then Punk steps up and announces that he’s had enough of the disrespect, and that if Jericho wants to bully someone, he can try to bully him. Part of Punk’s appeal to the masses is that he’s one of us, a regular guy who was a fan, and who just happened to have the talent and drive to realize his wrestling dream. Inspiration from legends such as these three is almost built in to the story. This would have been a great Mania match. At least the match of Jericho/Punk wouldn’t have given away the winner. It could have gone either way. No such luck here. Jericho loses at Mania, no matter who and how many he faces in the ring. Aside from the fact that he has already succeeded in beating up the legends, no way is the feel-good vibe of Mania being sullied by evil Jericho winning. Jericho will not only lose, he’ll do so in utterly humiliating fashion. Jericho and the fans deserve better than this.

    Let’s see what happens!

    Peace out,

    Drowgoddess

  7. WWE RAW Review – 3/30/09

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    We’re on the final stretch of the Road to WrestleMania.  There’s just a little bit more scenery to take in before we hit the exit ramp and head to Reliant Stadium for the biggest show of them all.  Speaking of The Big Show, he’s taking on John Cena tonight!  What else is happening?  I guess you’ll find out when I will!

    Full RAW results, after the jump! (more…)