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Hey everybody.  It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer.  I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results.  Enjoy!

Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon

In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra!  If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized.  He was perfect as the GM on RAW. 

As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.

Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters

Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard!  Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.

Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero

Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.

Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.

MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.

SUPERSTAR!

It looks like we will get a look at what happened on NXT according to my DVR description.

But first…

Match 1:  Maryse and Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins

Meh…standard Diva’s match.  While the Bella’s and Maryse are hot, I HATE Diva wrestling.  Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win.  After the match, Maryse and Jillian harrass the Bella’s a little bit more until Eve Torres comes to the rescue.

Match 2:  Vladimir Kozlov vs Random Jobber A

If I have to tell you who wins, then there is something wrong with you.

NXT Lookback

In case you missed it, Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan (who is now known by his real name of Brian Danielson) were eliminated due to their comments last week and Skip Sheffield was eliminated by the pros.

Match 3:  Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins vs Random Jobbers B and C

While we haven’t seen Vance Archer in a few months on WWE TV, Curt Hawkins hasn’t been for alot longer than that.  Hawkins and Archer get the win here.  I guess this is a last ditch effort for these two guys.  Very random tag team.  After the match, Archer tells everybody to pay attention.  Hawkins says it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about him.  He says they have been given contract for 30 days to make an impact.  Whatever…

Main Event:  Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Masters

At least this match sort of makes sense.  These are two guys looking to get in the Intercontinental Title picture.  Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag.  This was a pretty good match…too bad nobody cares about them.

That’s it for tonight.  See ya next week.

Welcome all to another edition of Random Randomness.  Happy St. Patrick’s day to all those who celebrate it on Wednesday.  Here in JTland the celebration has already started.  But we’re not here to talk about that this is a wrestling website so lets talk about wrestling:

Welcome to the Penultimate Episode of ECW.

We open with everyone backstage and Tiffany gets everyone’s attention. Tiffany talks about ECW going off the air but says it’s “not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. Everyone’s a free agent so use the next two weeks to impress everyone in the WWE universe and have a good time. She puts on some Mardi Gras beads and grabs a drink. When Zack Ryder questions her about this, ECW’s going off the air and she’s just going to party? “Woo Woo Woo, You know it.”

This won’t be as detailed a report as a problem with my computer cost me the early review of the Shelton Benjamin/Zack Ryder match.

It appears that everyone else has forgotten about the little one-hour show every Tuesday nights on Syfy called ECW, so I am here to catch you up.

8/11 RESULTS

Shelton Benjamin def. Zack Ryder

After last week’s actions in the Abraham Washington show between the two, it was Benjamin who got the win with the Pay Dirt.

Paul Birchill attacks Gregory Helms, accusing him of being the masked superhero who has been coming to the rescue in recent weeks.

Vladimir Kozlov def. Random Jobber #1

After Kozlov won, Ezekial Jackson also beat down Random Jobber, causing a staredown between the two.

Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Birchill via DQ

Birchill’s valet, Katie-Lea got involved, causing the DQ. After the match, the Hurricane came to the ring and attacked Birchill.

Tyler Reks def. Random Jobber #2

Not much to say, really.

On the Abraham Washington show, William Regal was announced as #1 contender for Christian’s ECW Championship. Nothing wrong with Regal being #1 contender, but someone should mute Abraham Washington.

William Regal def. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer, still suffering injuries from the Extreme Rules match with Christian the week previously, fell to the man from Blackpool, England.

8/19 RESULTS

The Hurricane def. Paul Birchill

In his first offical match back, the Hurricane is victorious after hitting the Eye Of The Hurricane.

The Abraham Washington show featured Goldust, and then Sheamus. Sheamus calls Goldust lucky for beating him on Superstars, a stare down followed.

Zack Ryder def. Yoshi Tatsu

Ryder won after the Zack Attack. Does ECW have more than 10 guys on the roster?

ECW Champion Christian and Ezekial Jackson def. William Regal and Vladimir Kozlov by DQ

Dreamer was scheduled to be the Champ’s partner, but he was beat down by Regal and Kozlov earlier, so Christian chose Big Zeke, who proceeded to join Regal and Kozlov in a 3-on-1 assault on Christian.

That’s ECW all caught up. Tune in next week, for more ECW action.

I remembered to watch ECW this week!  We’re gonna do this in real-time, so refresh every 10 minutes or so if you’re reading while the show is on!

ECW is coming to us from Miami Florida, where the fans are chanting ECW to kick off the show.  Speaking of kicking off the show, the number one contender for the ECW Championship at Night of Champions, Christian, is the first superstar out this evening.  His opponent is the guy who got his revenge on Yoshi Tatsu last week, Shelton Benjamin.

Shelton Benjamin def. Christian

Christian was in control of this match, but he climbed to the top rope and Vladimir Kozlov’s music played and the Moscow Mauler made his way down to the ring, allowing Benjamin to dropkick Christian to the outside, and allowing us to take a quick…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kozlov has joined in on commentary, and Shelton Benjamin has taken control of this match.  Christian shows some signs of life but The Gold Standard keeps on him.  Christian manages some separation and hits a missile dropkick.  At one point, Christian gets Benjamin draped over the ropes, and some little kid starts chanting “619, 619.”  Christian didn’t oblige, however, instead standing on the back of Benjamin and choking him across the ropes.  Benjamin hit an armbreaker from the top rope on Christian, but only scored a two count.  Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Benjamin manages to escape.  He tosses Christian shoulder first into the ringpost and hits Paydirt for the win.

Kozlov smiles at the announce table after the match and says that Christian is “nothing.”

Last week on ECW, Ezekiel Jackson, who is a part of the new superstar initiative despite the fact we used to see him on SmackDown every week, beat the hell out of some jobber.  This week, he’s here with Gregory Helms.  He’s very happy to be on ECW, and he’s only got one chance to make a good first impression.  Helms asks if he felt he needed to break out of The Brian Kendrick’s shadow.  Jackson says Kendrick hired him because he needed him.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Paul Burchill is already in the ring.  Know what that means?  That means he’s doing the job.  His opponent was impressive the last couple of weeks in matches with Shelton Benjamin, Yoshi Tatsu.

Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Burchill

Burchill is aggressive to kick things off, which should be expected from The Ripper.  Tatsu fights back, but not for long, Burchill locks in a camel clutch.  Tatsu fights out of it and starts throwing kicks.  Tatsu goes for a springboard missile dropkick but he slips (and much to Drowgoddess’s delight, there’s no “you f*&#ed up” chant).  Burchill takes advantage, but Tatsu manages to hit a “buzzsaw-like” kick to the head of Burchill (to which Matt Striker exclaims, “you’ve got to be Karate Kidding me!”) and picks up the victory.

Still to come, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

ZZ Top will be the guest hosts of RAW next Monday.

Tiffany is in her office, and Tyler Rekes enters her office and asks about actually wrestling on ECW instead of on Superstars.  She says she’ll book him for next week.

This week, however, she’s booked somebody else.  You might know him.  If you do, you will remember the name… Goldust.  Can you guess who his opponent is?  Did you guess Zack Ryder?  Woo Woo Woo, you know it!

Zack Ryder def. Goldust

Good to see Goldust actually getting to wrestle instead of being stuck in stupid backstage skits.  It’s not like the guy can’t wrestle.  Realistically, this should be a showcase for Ryder with Goldust getting his offense in, and thusfar, that’s what it’s been.  I just noticed – there’s a new referee!  I have no idea what his name is, and we’ll probably never find out.  Goldust hits a Bionic Elbow from the middle rope, but he didn’t do the little dance that Dusty used to do, so he only got a two count.  Ryder winds up hitting the Zack Attack moments later and picking up the win.

RAW REBOUND: Guest Host Seth Green got himself involved in the main event.  As in, he wrestled as the tag team partner of John Cena and Triple H as they took on Legacy.  His team lost by disqualification.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Strange things have been happening in ECW, involving a mysterious superhero in green who “blew in and saved the day.”  Hahaha, blew in.  Matt Striker, you’re so punny.

Sheamus is set for action against some jobber.  Sheamus tells him that he’s come to plant his flag as the most dominant superstar in ECW.

Sheamus def. Roman Cornell

If you’re over 15 years of age, you’ll recall the original WWF Superstars of Wrestling television program.  You’ll also recall the matches – the established star beats the crap out of the newcomer.  That’s what this felt like, despite the fact that Sheamus is a new guy himself.  Sheamus picks up the easy win.

Up next, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Next week, Christian and Tommy Dreamer will be guests on the Abraham Washington show.

Vladimir Kozlov is smiling on his way to the ring.  I don’t want to see this guy smile, I want to see this guy kick ass, because that’s what he does, he kicks ass.  Speaking of guys that kick ass, Tommy Dreamer is Kozlov’s opponent.  I’m looking forward to a good fight here, that will probably get interrupted by Christian.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Vladimir Kozlov

You know, I was looking for a fight, and I got a wrestling match early on here.  The thing is, even though these are two very tough guys who could easily kick your ass, they’re also capable of wrestling.  The action spills to the outside, and Dreamer ducked a kick from Kozlov, who kicked the steel post instead.  Very good match here.  Not a match of the year contender by any means, but it’s entertaining.  Kozlov catches Dreamer coming off the top rope with a headbutt to the chest, and drops the ECW Champion with a modified spinebuster for the victory.

Kozlov locks in a submission hold on Dreamer after the match, prompting Christian to come out for the save.  Kozlov ducks Christian, who inadvertently hits Tommy Dreamer instead, then Kozlov nails a headbutt to the chest of Christian, leaving both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lying in the ring as the show goes off the air.

My Thoughts: Both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lost their matches tonight, and were both left lying by Vladimir Kozlov at the end of the show.  I enjoyed tonight’s show, and I’m glad that Yoshi Tatsu and Sheamus were part of it.  Out of the new Superstars they’ve debuted on this show over the last couple of weeks, those are the guys I think have what it takes to make it.  I’m not sure about Tyler Rekes yet, and Abraham Washington hasn’t really done anything.  It was an enjoyable show tonight for sure.  I’ll see you guys Friday for SmackDown!

So on RAW earlier tonight we found out that Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, and Mark Henry have all joined RAW as part of a 15 Superstar trade.  Here’s the complete list:

Coming to Monday Night RAW:

Jack Swagger (from ECW)
Evan Bourne (from ECW)
Mark Henry (from ECW)
Alicia Fox (from SmackDown)
Gail Kim (from SmackDown)

Coming to Friday Night SmackDown:

Matt Hardy (from RAW)
Finlay (from ECW)
The Hart Dynasty – Tyson Kidd, DH Smith, and Natalya (from ECW)

Coming to ECW:

Shelton Benjamin (from SmackDown)
Goldust (from RAW)
William Regal (from RAW)
Nicki & Brie Bella (from RAW)

Somebody please tell me – what the hell was the point of the draft?  The Bellas went to RAW from SmackDown with the Draft, as did Matt Hardy.  Alicia Fox just got over to SmackDown from ECW and now she’s on RAW.  It’s ridiculous.  Ah well, whatever.  Be interesting to see if ECW is as good minus Swagger, Bourne, Henry, and the Hart Dynasty.  Shelton Benjamin is the only major SmackDown loss – and I say this because they pretty much treat Gail Kim like she’s a jobber anyway.  In fact, SmackDown will be even better with David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and Natalya (who was drafted to ECW from SmackDown earlier this year in the supplemental draft, incidentally).

I just don’t see the point of this – the draft was just two months ago!

Well after another busy week, here we go with another edition of JT’s Random Randomness.  Let’s Get it started:

Ok, ok, I technically didn’t oversleep on Tuesday.  I just passed on watching ECW to cheer on my beloved Buffalo Sabres as they took on the Anaheim Ducks (and you have no idea how hard it was for me to not just type “The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim”).  Sadly, the Sabres lost 3-2.  The plan was to watch ECW at some point today, but I went out early and fell asleep when I came home.  I didn’t wake up until 10 minutes after I normally leave for work, so I still haven’t seen the show.  So, here I am with results in hand.   I’m not going to give a lot of insight to this episode, but only because I haven’t seen it and the results aren’t very detailed that I happen to have.

Mark Henry def. DJ Gabriel – Thanks for coming, DJ.  Now get your Alex Wright wannabe ass back to FCW.

Tyson Kidd def. Some Local Jobber – The dungeon has made many a championship wrestler.  Beating guys who aren’t important enough to mention their names more than once isn’t exactly how you go about winning championships, though.

Tommy Dreamer def. Paul Burchill – If this were the real ECW, this match would probably be a main event, probably would’ve lasted longer, Tommy would’ve still gotten the win, but with the assist from a telephone and some chicken wire (Tommy was like the MacGuyver of pro wrestling) instead of The Boogeyman, and Katie Lea probably would have eaten a piledriver.

Jack Swagger def. Christian to retain the ECW Championship – Swagger and Christian have each defeated each other in singles competition, Swagger getting his win when the title was on the line.  Hmm.  I wonder what they’re going to do with the ECW Championship at WrestleMania 25?

Thanks for reading!