Normally I end my intro blah’s with “hopping time” or some variation of such. Nope. Not so much this week.
See, See? You killed him.
Gravity wins again. It’s falling down time smarks, hit the link below. I get progressively angrier and jaded during this review. Maybe it’s just this week, maybe it’s not. The ball is in the WWE’s court on this one…
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 05/17/13: Extreme Rules Go Away Show”
Well, here we are again. Friday. Smackdown. Ratings are slumping for all things wrestling, as they tend to do in the summer time (Except TNA, of course, their ratings never change). Things like NHL and NBA playoffs don’t help either. But since it’s too late to watch any games, I certainly have the time to watch Smackdown. Boy, do I sound enthusiastic.
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 05/10/13″
All quotes are courtesy of Twitter @WWEUniverse
We open with a “special report” of Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar “invading” WWE headquarters. We are shown stills, and told there is more to come later.
We recap Ryback leaving Cena to the mercy of The Shield (who has none.)
Monday Night RAHHHHHHHH opens with John Cena running to the ring, because you want to do that w/a bad heel. The announce team of Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, and Jerry Lawler sell the injury more than he does.
Cena helps himself to Daniel Bryan’s “YES/NO” gimmick, and explains that competing in the main event last week wasn’t good for his hurt foot, and he hasn’t been 100% since 2005, but that will not stop him from defending the title at Extreme Rules.
Managing Supervisor of RAW, Vicki Guerrero makes her entrance w/her standard “EXCUSE ME!” shtick, which has REALLY run out of steam to confront Cena. She calls out Ryback wanting to give them both the chance to be heard regarding their match at Extreme Rules.
Vicki asks John to tell us what kind of stipulation he wants for the title match. Cena offers Ryback the options of “running away like a scared little girl match,” where you win by running away first, or a “bitching contest.” Cena tells Vicki she can make it a “Vicki’s Granny Panties on A Pole Match,” but quickly changes his mind.
”No man, woman or child should have to see that…” – @JohnCena, #RAW
Ryback responds by saying he’s smart enough to walk away from a fight at the wrong time. He chooses to make it a Last Man Standing match (and I think calls Cena “Shawn” by accident.)
Rytman Remark: Considering the last two “Last Man standing” matches they’ve done, I’m starting to think these guys just want an excuse to tie each other up in duct-tape. (Cock Talk, Sunday @ 4p.m. on Mixlr, after BWF Radio @ 2p.m., 1 p.m. in my area. Believe me that can be really uncomfortable.)
We’re reminded of the Heyman/Lesnar “invasion” that we’ll be seeing later tonight, as Ran-dal KEETH Or-ton makes his way out to the ring.
Back from break, we’re shown a clip from Smackdown of Or-Ton defeating Sandow, Big Show distracting Orton, allowing Sandow to hit him w/the “term-in-ous,” after their match.
Sandow makes his entrance w/his own take on Orton’s theme…
“And now a song…”
“Randy has voices inside his head, just watching him puts me to bed, puts me to sleep…”
“Randy walks down here on this ramp, his expression stays the same…”
“Does his pose up in the corner, can’t think of anything more lame…”
“All his tattoos are disgusting…”
“All that oil on him is heinous…”
“I guess you get to sit back and watch me beat this ignoramus…” – Damien Sandow
“You’re Welcome.” – Damien Sandow
RANDY ORTON DEF. DAMIEN SANDOW – A riled up Orton goes right after Sandow. Sandow escapes to the outside, but Orton goes right after him. Sandow rolls in/out of the ring w/Orton still on top of him. Sandow counters a D.D.T. by backing Orton into the guard rail. Orton takes control right back w/an inverted neck-breaker and dominates as we go to break.
We come back with Sandow in control w/a chin-lock (what irony.) Sandow beats Orton down and hits the “elbow of disdain.” Orton fights out and takes over again w/scoop-slams, a drop-kick, D.D.T. off the second rope, and the RKO.
After the match, Big Show comes out of nowhere and clocks Orton w/the big right hand as Orton makes his way up the ramp.
Rytman Remark: Sandow is a brilliant heel. Too bad he’s in WWE.
Later tonight, World Heavyweight Champion Dolph Ziggler meets Alberto Del Rio one-on-one.
Next up is Fandango, who we see rehearsing w/his dance partner, NOT SUMMER RAE!
Back from break THE WALLS DOWN!
JERICHO IS HERE! Jericho comes out in all his sparkly jacket glory as we take a look back at him brutalizing FAHN-Johnny Curtis back in London, and stealing a dance from Summer Rae.
RAW IS JERICHO!!! And we know that Fan-Dumbo is coming out next, Jericho has decided to put together a judge’s panel to critique Fan-Dodge Durango, Fan-Dimple, Fan-Dingle berry, Fan-Day Glow, Fan-doodle, Fan-GOIN TO A GO-GO! DON’TCHA WANNA GO!? Jericho introduces our judges, Tons of Funk w/the Funkadactyls,
Johnny Curtis (I AM NOT PLAYING ALONG ANYMORE!) makes his entrance, led out by a lovely lady who is NOT SUMMER RAE!
Nor is she bringing up three very lovely girls.
The judges give Johnny a two, a one, and a two, for his entrance. Johnny gets angry, Johnny gets mad, and Johnny brings up Jericho’s “failure” on Dancing with The Stars, saying it doesn’t make him an expert.
R-Truth is out and apparently he will face off w/Curtis tonight.
R-TRUTH DEF. JOHNNY-OK FINE-FAHN-DAHN-GO! – The two men put together less than a minutes worth of spots until Fahn-fuck it, the dancer guy rolls to the outside. R-Truth gives us a few steps, and the judges give him a ten, a ten, and a 42 because Brodus can’t find his ten. An angry dancer grabs his date and takes a count-out loss.
Rytman Remark: “Phuck you.”
We come back from break to see Triple H doing a spot for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer foundation for mother’s day.
We take a look at Ryback getting the win over Daniel Bryan on Smackdown last Friday, followed by Bryan taking a beating from the Shield. Bryan gets interviewed by Josh Matthews, and challenges Ryback to a rematch. Ryback comes out to refuse and call Bryan half the man that he is. Kane is up in Ryback’s face, making a challenge of his own. Ryback says Kane isn’t the monster he used to be, gives him the hash tag (#Ryback Rules,) and walks off.
Back at ringside, Ricardo Rodriguez is out to introduce ALBERTOOOOOOOOO DELLLLLLL RRRRRRRIO! He’s facing Dolph Ziggler and friends next.
Rytman Remark: Dolph Ziggler and friends will be the next animated cartoon produced by WWE. Dolph, Big E. and AJ will all be teens going to school in outer-space and solving mysteries while singing fake pop-songs…
(Rytman just starts crying.)
ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ and Big E.) BY DQ – We’re shown a replay of Del Rio getting a submission win over Ziggler in a three-way tag match on the last Smackdown as the Dolph-tourage (Copyright; Robert Rytman) makes their way to the ring. The match itself is a back-and-forth of spots until Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter make their way out to join on commentary. Zeb mentions slapping Big E. in the face and how he could beat the French. Big E. grabs ADR by the face and tosses him into Swagger. Swagger takes Big E. into the post and grabs a ladder from under the ring. Ricardo tries to stop him, but gets tossed and brutalized w/the ladder. Swagger goes off on Del Rio and Ziggler w/the ladder, and walks off w/Zeb, leaving their opponents scattered all over the ring.
We get a recap of Ryback choosing the stipulation for his match w/Cena and go to break.
Rytman Remark: Why did Del Rio choose a type of match where not only do his opponents have the same experience and success rate as him, but one where he has to climb on a bad leg?
We’re back, and talking about WWE’s new partnership w/Yahoo, which will bring us a RAW online pre-show because meatloaf.
It makes as much sense as anything else.
Backstage: Kaitlin and the Funkadactyls are discussing her “secret admirer.” Naomi jokes about him being a stalker, and locking her up in a basement because violence towards women is always funny (Cock Talk, 4 p.m. Sunday on Mixlr, after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern, 1 p.m. in my area. Believe me, it hurts.) Natalya offers to have the Great Khali go “undercover” in the men’s locker room (Cock Talk – Sunday 4 p.m. after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern on Mixlr,) to find out who it is (Hornswoggle.) Everybody leaves, and the Bellas step out from behind a curtain where they were eavesdropping because apparently this is now a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
Rytman Remark: Anyone besides me wanna duct-tape the Bellas to a BBQ spit? I’m just asking.
The Shield is out. They make their way to the ring as we take a look back at Dean Ambrose getting a win over Kane on Smackdown last Friday. They’re in tag team action after the break.
THE SHIELD DEF. WWE U.S. CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON AND THE USOS – Usos start off strong but Roman Reigns soon turns the tide. Kofi gets a hot tag and hits most of his spots. Match breaks down into a brawl, and Kofi gets shoved off the top rope. Ambrose ends this w/a Short-step Bulldog on Kofi for the three-count.
This Wednesday on Main Event, Antonio Cesaro will face Randy Orton. As Cesaro comes to the ring, we’re shown a recap – picking up a pattern here people? – of the AMAZING Cesaro/Kingston U.S. title match where Kofi defended successfully, and walked away… less successfully, being ambushed and partially Scalped by Cesaro.
ANTONIO CESARO DEF. ZACK RYDER BUT YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN THAT THE MOMENT I TYPED “ZA…” – Ryder gets in a few offensive spots, but Cesaro dominates this w/his combo of strength, mat wrestling, and brute force. This ends with a neutralizer and a three-count for Cesaro.
Cesaro grabs the mike, makes a “World’s most interesting man,” reference and runs down a list of WWE programming…
”I put the “W” in @WWE. There’s nobody on NXT, Saturday Morning Slam, Superstars, Main Event, Smackdown, and Monday Night #Raw that can hold a candle to what I can do in this ring.” – @AntonioCesaro
Okay, so this is our main course for the evening, the “invasion” of WWE HQ by Heyman and Lesnar. We’re shown some security footage stills of the two entering the building, and then we go to break.
Back from break, we’re live w/Paul Heyman via satellite. He gives us an exclusive video of him and Lesnar entering WWE HQ, threatening WWE employees, and trashing Triple H’s office, because one of the greatest minds in wrestling thought it would be a good idea to make a video of his client committing a felony.
“The destruction in this office is exactly what awaits @TripleH when he steps inside the #SteelCage at #ExtremeRules!” @HeymanHustle #RAW
“@BrockLesnar is going to take @TripleH to the EXTREME. And then, he’ll go further … and further … and further….” – @HeymanHustle
TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAME!!!
Triple H is out to say Heyman looks like a baby chick, and remind us all he was the founding father of Degeneration X and the one who knocked Lesnar out at Wrestlemania. He then talks about the trashing of his office…
“I’m standing in my other office … and this office has one hell of a view! … This office is more like my home!” – @TripleH, #RAW
And this is my favorite moment of the night. Triple H finishes his promo, then there’s a moment of awkward silence – which is another theme of the night – And that’s when the crowd realizes he’s waiting for them! HE HAS TO CUE THE CROWD TO CHEER!
Rytman Remark: HE HAS TO CUE THE CROWD TO CHEER!
We go to break.
We come back to AJ and the Bellas walking out for their six diva tag match against Kaitlin/the Funkadactyls. This is followed by a promo for the new E! Show, “Total Divas,” which I’m guessing will focus on the Bellas.
WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLIN/THE FUNKADACTYLS (NAOMI/CAMERON) VS. AJ LEE/THE BELLA SISTERS – AJ dominates Cameron, Cameron is a screamer, (Cock Talk – Sunday 4 p.m. after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern on Mixlr,) AJ hits her w/two neck-breakers without letting her go, (nifty.) Cameron takes over, tags in Kaitlyn, AJ goes for a tag, the Bellas bail on her, AJ takes a spear by Kaitlyn for the three-count.
“She just pinned all three personalities!” – @JCLayfield #RAW
Rytman: When did this Kaitlin get three personalities?
Mark Henry is next after the break.
“Be a Star,” promo with P. Diddy, the guy I personally think killed Biggie/Tupac.
Mark Henry is out here to cut a promo on Sheamus acting real tough. That’s where the problem is. Henry doesn’t have to act tough. He Is Tough. Henry shows us him jumping Sheamus during interviews on Smackdown and RAW.
Sheamus interrupts Henry with his entrance. He shows us the parts of the video he left out. Sheamus shows us him punking out Henry in a tug of war on RAW, and an arm wrestling match on Smackdown.
Henry tells Sheamus he shouldn’t be joking around. Sheamus calls Henry a bear w/a sore head. They get ready to fight right there and then, and Barrett comes out.
Barrett vs. Sheamus after the break
SHEAMUS DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMP WADE BARRETT – During the break, Henry joined the commentary team and apparently Cole made Henry mad. Henry calls Cole “ate up with Stupid,” and tells Bradshaw to carry this like always. Everyone takes turns telling Cole to shut-up. During the match, Sheamus FAKES OUT tossing Barrett into Henry. Henry flinches and spills out of the chair. Henry gets mad and runs into a Brogue kick by Sheamus. Henry is down, and for a moment I think he’s hurt legit when trainers rush over to him. This is just a ruse however, so Henry can pull a belt off the attendant and go after Sheamus. Sheamus hits “White Noise” and the Brogue Kick on Barrett for the three-count. Sheamus is beaten down with the belt and take a “World’s Strongest Slam” on the arena floor. Henry walks off. Attendants try to help Sheamus.
Rytman: A lot about tonight’s show could be considered “ate up w/stupid.” And I’m sorry, but I’m starting to hate JBL more than Cole.
Back from break, we get the major announcement we’ve all been waiting for… next week, it’s official!
IN A DANCE OFF!
We get another re-cap of the Heyman/Lesnar “Invasion” and we move on to our Main Event…
RYTMAN: AN ACTUAL WRESTLING MATCH! TWO WEEKS IN A ROW! THE MAIN EVENT IS A WRESTLING MATCH!
RYBACK DEF. WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE – Ryback will be on Jericho’s Highlight Reel this Friday on Smackdown. This match is a hard fought brawl, with the momentum going back and forth. Ryback sends Kane into the guard rail and takes over as we go to break…
Ryback is still in control as we come back, until he runs into a boot from Kane. Kane dominates Ryback until he runs into a spine-buster. Kane counters a Shell-Shock attempt w/a suplex, but makes the mistake of taking this fight to the top rope. Ryback crotches Kane and hits the Shell-Shock for a three-count.
SIERRA, HOTEL, INDIA, ECHO, LIMA, DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD…
Everyone’s favorite militia makes their appearance. Ryback bails as Daniel Bryan runs to the aid of Kane, followed by WWE Champion John Cena. Cena and Bryan manage to fight off the hounds of justice pretty well by themselves. Ryback has a chair and takes a few weak swings at the Shield, but really unloads on Cena with it as Cena tries to AA Roman Reigns. RAW ends w/Ryback; standing over a fallen John Cena.
Rytman’s Review: …
That’s it, that’s all I have.
Last week, you could at least give them credit for having a few solid, if predictable matches. This week had NOTHING! The slight amount of actual in-ring action was more like filler than any of the dumb skits. I’ll give them credit for making Swagger, Cesaro, and even Ryback looking strong here, but that’s it.
In conclusion, I wonder if WWE even wants to do RAW anymore.
As I’m running a late today, no intro hooplah, jibbah jabbah, preambling. There shall be hopping however, and that’s your cue.
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 5/3/13″
Here are this weeks Results for Main Event this week:
Click to continue reading “Main Event Results 5/1/13″
Welcome to another edition of Cock Talk, or as RYTMAN likes to call it, “THINK ABOUT THE CONVERSATION YOU’RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!”
Joe, Jorge, G, and JT are joined once again this week by Brian Muller. We talk about the NHL Playoffs, the NFL Draft, and of course, all of the great wrestling shows you’ll find on TV each and every week. We reveal who we’d like to see win the TNA X-Division poll, talk about what the substance Big E Langston was clapping from his hands may have been, and talk about how winning a title in WWE is essentially a punishment more than a merit nowadays.
In the news, we get the WrestleMania numbers, we find out the whereabouts of the Bella Twins, find out when CM Punk may potentially return, and get Maria Kanellis’ impression of Ryback. Michael Bay’s destruction of our childhood is discussed. In legal news, it’s Hulk Hogan’s sex tape vs. the first amendment. And finally, we discuss the injury to John Cena that occurred on the European tour.
All this and much more! Just download the show. You know you want to!
Hey! They’re in the U.K.! Also known as forced attempts to recreate the chants on RAW after WrestleMania 29 Land! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Has anyone else noticed they changed Fandango’s music and added crowd noise? I did. Let’s get to “entertainment you” of a show. Hopefully Shannon Moore makes a surprise return? Only one way to find out. So step up on that stool and strap on your noose , folks…. It’s hopping time!
Ok, it can’t be THAT bad. Nobody kill yourself, it’s just fucking wrestling. Go bitch about it on the internet like everybody else. That’s how we roll, peeps.
In all seriousness, there will be a much watch match on this show, as you probably already know.
Smackdown time… I guess.
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 04/26/13″
Stuff goes here. Hopping time!
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 04/19/13″
On RAW, the crowd made the difference for the show to be a winner, ultimately, which I suspect and hope will remain a tradition as the so-called “hardcore” smarks stick around for it. Will that many of them stick around for Smackdown? I’d like to think so… but this “thing” is still a new “thing.” Only one way to find out, and you know what that means. Into the back of the closet and into Narnia, kiddo, we’re hunting wabbits. Hopping time! (a.k.a. Beer will make this better).
The customary hand wave after a goal is scored.
Click to continue reading “Smackdown 04/12/13″
Let’s do something a little different. Instead of going segment by segment, I’m going to summarize each storyline in regards to how it was played out on the show, and offer my comments where I feel the need.
1.) CENA VS. MARK HENRY: THE RISE OF RYBACK – So we kicked off RAW with a word from our new WWE champion, John Cena. Jersey is NOT part of the CE-Nation, and their response makes it clear. Cena plays off the crowd’s hostility by joking about all the great things that come with being champ, like the applause. Cena offers to dance for the crowd, using this as context for teasing a “heel-turn,” and offers a title shot to whoever wants one tonight. Mark Henry comes out to take him up on it. Booker T comes out and says Henry has to beat Cena in a match to get a title shot.
Let’s fast forward to our main event, Cena vs. Henry. Less than a minute in, it spills out of the ring to the outside. Both men tease a table spot (which is a whole friggin thing in itself we’ll get to.) Henry sends Cena into the post. Cena whips Henry into the stairs AND GETS THE WIN BY COUNT OUT. OUR “MAIN EVENT” BARELY WENT FIVE MINUTES AND MORE THAN THREE SPOTS!!!
Henry responds to this by laying out Cena (much to the crowds’ delight,) and hoisting the belt up. Ryback comes out and runs off Henry. Ryback glares at Cena and the crowd gets excited. Ryback helps Cena up and the crowd gets less excited. Ryback gets a “FEED ME MORE,” chant going and CENA TAKES A CLOTHESLINE! Ryback gives the champ the Shell-shock and holds the belt up to a cheering crowd as RAW ends.
Rytman Remarks: So, Henry, the only established heel at Wrestlemania who won a singles match, has to beat Cena in a non-title match, to get a title shot?
Booker T, General Manager of Smackdown, can dictate who gets WWE title shots on RAW?
The match itself can’t have more than five spots and go more than five minutes?
BUT NOW YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE THE PUSH TO THE GUY YOU BOOKED TO CHOKE IN EVERY BIG MATCH YOU PUT HIM IN? GIVING HENRY A SHOT WOULD BRING ABOUT THE END OF ALL LIFE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING!?
I seriously don’t know why I’m still watching this crap.
2.) ORTON/SHEAMUS BOTH WANT BIG SHOW – Orton, backstage in Vicki’s office w/her and Brad Maddox, demands a match w/Big Show, wanting payback for what happened at Mania. “Briki” (Brad and Vicki) agrees, reminding Sheamus he’d owe them a big favor for this.
Later in the show, Randy Orton goes to Booker T, asking HIM for a shot at big show, saying it was his mistake to trust big show, and wants to make good on it. When Booker tells him Vicki already made the match w/Sheamus, he brown-noses Booker into over-ruling Vicki, on the grounds he’s a GM, and she’s a Managing Supervisor. Booker decides to make it happen.
Later, we get a pre-recorded interview from Natalya with Big Show. Show blames his team-mates for what happened, saying they turned on him by not giving him the hot tag. Show says from now on, he’s all about the Big Show.
Later in the show, both Orton and Sheamus came out to the ring and asked the crowd who’d they like to see kick Big Show’s ass. Cole tells us to use the WWE ACTIVE APP and vote on Twitter for who we want. One commercial break later, Booker and Vicki come out together on the same page, making a Sheamus vs. Orton match w/the winner getting Big Show, making the Twitter thing totally irrelevant.
The match itself is hard fought, and both men hit their major spots, but it ends with the Big Show taking matters into his own hands. He tosses Sheamus away like nothing and BRUTALIZES Randy Orton for about twenty minutes. Orton is pounded on, and tossed around like a sack of rag-dolls. Show tosses Orton hard over the announce table into the seats, and then tosses the seats all over the place. Show leaves Orton broken on the ground, and walks off to a hero’s reception from the crowd. (This crowd was another whole thing we’ll get to.)
Rytman Remarks: Orton and Randy are fighting over who gets to beat up the guy they didn’t trust in the first place, but teamed up with anyway and then lost the match because they didn’t tag him, and he got mad and punched them out. Gotcha!
The interesting thing is, during the interview with Natalya, Show played hurt by his team not trusting him, like he really wanted to be part of something, and pulled it off pretty damn well. I actually felt bad for him.
3.) ALBERTO DEL RIO VS JACK SWAGGER & ZEB COULTER: YOUR WINNER, DOLPH ZIGGLER! – World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez,) faced Swagger in a handicap match w/Zeb Coulter as Swagger’s partner. Before the match, Zeb took the mike and actually pleaded with the crowd for their support. He even got a small “USA” chant going. The match was primarily Del Rio and Swagger with Zeb hanging back on the outside. Del Rio managed to win it, but Swagger had worked the ankle/leg the whole match and Del Rio had ringside attendants looking at him.
Cue Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph chose that moment to Cash in his MiTB briefcase on Del Rio. Del Rio managed to muster up enough offense to get Ziggler in the Cross-Arm-Breaker. Ziggler escaped by working the injured ankle and won with a Zig-Zag for the three. Later in the show, Ziggler is interviewed, saying it’s “about damn time” this happened.
Rytman Remarks: during the whole match, the crowd chanted “we want Ziggler,” until he finally came out. I’m thinking Del Rio and Swagger are both gonna sit out a few shows.
4.) UNDERTAKER PROMO: IN THE SIGHTS OF THE SHIELD – Undertaker comes out to do a promo. He talks about dedicating his win to Paul Bearer…
SIERRA, HOTEL, INDIA, ECHO, LIMA, DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD
The Shield makes their way towards the Dead-man. They’ve got Taker surrounded when the pyro goes off and Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) run out to offer back up. The Shield calls it a night and head off.
Rytman Remarks: A feud w/the Undertaker to set up a program with the tag team champions? I like it, which is why it won’t happen.
5.) FAHHHHN-DAHHHN-GO-OW! – So Fandango got a rematch with Kofi Kingston, from last month when he was supposed to debut on RAW. The match goes less than ten minutes before Chris Jericho runs out and beats down Fandango, who gets the win by DQ. After the match, Fandango still has enough in him to take a mike and do the bit with his name.
Rytman Remark: I’ll give the guy credit for sticking with it, but I’m thinking the last dance is coming up soon.
6.) “A BAD NIGHT FOR PAUL HEYMAN GUYS.” – Paul Heyman gets interviewed about how bad Wrestlemania went for him. Heyman points out that Triple H finished the night with a broken (which we saw earlier in an exclusive,) arm and Shawn Michaels got his face smashed in. He says Lesnar is here and ready to fight, but not for free. He tells us C.M. Punk will speak for himself… next week, swerving the disappointed crowd.
Now let’s look at the results from the few “filler” matches…
BIG E. LANGSTON DEF DANIEL BRYAN – High point was Big E. tossing Bryan over the top rope onto Kane.
Rytman Remark: Would’ve made sense to book this match BEFORE MANIA!
WADE BARRETT DEF. THE MIZ – BARRETT NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION
Rytman Remark: Decent match but I’m not expecting Barrett’s stock to skyrocket. There was a noticeable “botch” when Miz went for the knee-drop/neck-breaker combo and Barrett dropped too soon. (Michael Cole, at ringside, tried to sell it as a “sit-out” attempt by Barrett.)
R-TRUTH, RYDER, AND SANTINO MORELLA DEF 3MB
RR; Went maybe seven minutes and was more of an actual match then the main event.
TONS OF FUNK/THE FUNKADAYCTALS DEF THE BELLA SISTERS/TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS
RR; High point was Brie/Nikki giving “Sweet T” a double butt-bump to the head.
A few other points of interest…
One guy in the crowd managed to get his “WE WANT PAGE” sign on camera almost all night. Apparently, we can’t get her jobbing out to AJ and the Bella Sisters fast enough.
There seemed to be a contract out on the announcers table tonight. It wound up collateral damage in almost every brawl tonight. (Big Show’s rampage, Jericho’s payback, maybe during Del Rio Swagger,) In the Main Event, Cena and Henry both teased putting each other through it but never came across.
And now, we get to the real stars of this show…
This fucking crowd
Credit where it’s due, these folks decided they were going to have some kind of fun at this show and they did, to the detriment of the WWE. Some of their highlights included “singing along” to Fandango’s music and cheering for RVD, Randy Savage, and anyone/thing other than Sheamus or Orton during their match.
Overall, this was a weird RAW. It had some high points, but it wasn’t the best follow-up to a lackluster Mania.
Smackdown, the ball’s in your court.