With Survivor Series only days away, this would be the WWE’s last ditch effort to squeeze the buy rate juice out of it’s viewers… too bad many people have stopped watching Smackdown. Why you may ask? Perhaps because it has lately been a rehash of RAW matches from the previous Monday, or the same ones to follow on the next Monday. And tonight we get THREE non-title matches, or so I’m led to believe. Great. Whoop dee doo. Let’s hop to it, shall we? …until the juice runs down my leg.
Sweet Jeebus, there is a PPV on Sunday and this is the WWE’s last ditch effort to convince you to pay for it. After battling the ratings challenge of this month, including going up against the NFL, MLB playoffs, infomercials, and the Presidential debates, you’d think they’d treat this show like it meant something. But you’d be wrong. So, let’s just get down to hopping into Ryback’s water tank and swim like a dolphin not violating the wellness policy, shall we?
Happy Halloween! Remember when choosing your costume, sometimes it’s just for the best to be yourself.
Hey everybody. It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer. I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results. Enjoy!
Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon
In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra! If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized. He was perfect as the GM on RAW.
As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.
Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters
Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard! Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.
Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero
Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.
Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.
MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.
It looks like we will get a look at what happened on NXT according to my DVR description.
But first…
Match 1: Maryse and Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins
Meh…standard Diva’s match. While the Bella’s and Maryse are hot, I HATE Diva wrestling. Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win. After the match, Maryse and Jillian harrass the Bella’s a little bit more until Eve Torres comes to the rescue.
Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov vs Random Jobber A
If I have to tell you who wins, then there is something wrong with you.
NXT Lookback
In case you missed it, Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan (who is now known by his real name of Brian Danielson) were eliminated due to their comments last week and Skip Sheffield was eliminated by the pros.
Match 3: Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins vs Random Jobbers B and C
While we haven’t seen Vance Archer in a few months on WWE TV, Curt Hawkins hasn’t been for alot longer than that. Hawkins and Archer get the win here. I guess this is a last ditch effort for these two guys. Very random tag team. After the match, Archer tells everybody to pay attention. Hawkins says it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about him. He says they have been given contract for 30 days to make an impact. Whatever…
Main Event: Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Masters
At least this match sort of makes sense. These are two guys looking to get in the Intercontinental Title picture. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. This was a pretty good match…too bad nobody cares about them.
