What a horrible night to have a curse. What curse you ask? The responsibility to take out great evil. Through mires of swamp beasts, dungeons of unspeakable undead, and ancient stone structures filled with ghouls I must trek. With nothing but this whip, I will destroy every single candelabra I see in hopes I find holy water or battle axes to aid me in my quest. Or… fuck it, I’ll just watch some wrestling. I’m not getting paid for either, anyways.
Alright. I feel like shit. My back hurts, my wrist hurts, and I’m not even going to be around for BWF Radio this Sunday to read this review. Quite simply, this review is going to suck. Deal with it.
I watch 30 minutes of this show, then go to work, watch the rest at work, and write about it. Or some shit like that. Look, do you want to know what happened on RAW or not? Read on.
Tonight we have a night of firsts, Chris Jericho makes his first appearance on the program, Christian also makes his first appearance on the program and The Teddy Long Flow Chart also makes it’s appearance (I think) so here are the results: (more…)
ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF. BIG SHOW (HANDICAP MATCH) – A pointless rematch from Friday. Brogue Kick + RKO = Three count.
Rytman Remark: You know, neither Orton or Sheamus are THAT much smaller than the big show. The two of them beating him, is like either of them losing to two normal sized guys.
KOFI KINGSTON DEF. ANTONIO CESARO (NEW U.S. CHAMPION) – Match wastes no time in going into a spot-fest. Kingston rolls out of a sun-set flip, rolls Cesaro backwards into a standing position and hits “Trouble In Paradise” for the three-count and the title.
Rytman Remark: Remember when WWE first ventured out into video games? And how they followed the normal 2-D, side-scrolling fighter format? (I’m thinking Street Fighter, Mortal Combat.) This match was like that, entertaining, but no real story.
WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS – The PTP’s are almost completely jobbed out here. Choke-slam/flying head-butt combo wins this for the champs.
Rytman Remark: The commentator spent this match making jokes about goats in reference to Bryan’s beard, because there was nothing else really to talk about.
R-TRUTH DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT (NON-TITLE) R-Truth wins it by grabbing Barrett by the head and dropping him face-first to the mat. (The Little Jimmy?) After the match, Truth looks just as surprised as the rest of us.
Rytman Remark: There MIGHT be a point to this loss. WWE has a Battle Royal set up for Main Event this Wednesday, to name a #1 contender to Barrett’s belt. If R-Truth wins, it’ll cement the seed planted here.
RHODES SCHOLLARS (Sandow/Cody) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA/GREAT KAHLI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)– Santino gets the Cobra on Sandow and chases off Cody. Horny-dawg (yes, I am going to call him that if I want to,) tries to “cobra” Cody. Cody gets rough with him. Khalil comes to the rescue, and Santino gets pinned because he’s not watching Sandow. School-boy, for the three.
Rytman Remark: ( face-palm..)
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JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E.) – A hard fought match with Ziggler picking up some fan support, but Swagger getting the three-count out of nowhere by dropping Ziggler throat-first into the top rope.
NIKKI BELLA (W/BRE) DEF. WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLYN – Nikki’s game-plan is to keep taking Kaitlyn’s legs out from under her. Kaitlyn hits the stomach-breaker, but Bree switches w/sis to steal a three count.
Rytman Remark: In order…
So, we’re just dropping that whole thing w/Laya wanting a title shot? After like more than a month of slow build? And Tamina? Just nothing? Cena & Bryan’s girlfriends to the front of the line?
Twin Magic? With two girls that look NOTHING ALIKE ANYMORE?
In fairness, this match did not suck anywhere near as much as it should’ve.
Okay, now we look at…
STORYLINES/ANGLES
1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH – 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal,) came out first, calling out the Shield, demanding an apology for the beating on Smackdown. Instead, they got another beating, from BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK LESNARRRRRRRR! It ends w/Slater takes two F-5’s to the barricade.
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Paul Heyman gets control of Lesnar, gets him in the ring, and gets the mike. He gives Triple H credit for knocking out Lesnar, calling him a “Warrior, worthy of admiration.” Heyman says the score is “one and one,” and it’s “time to get extreme.” He challenges Trips to meet Lesnar in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules and has “two words,” for Trips…
“Challenge, Issued.” – Paul Heyman
2.) ZIGGLER/DEL RIO: WHY WASTE TIME BUILDING THE CHAMP? – Dolph Ziggler comes out with the “Dolph-tourage,” (Copyright: Robert Rytman,) to brag about his title win. Alberto Del Rio comes out with a still hurt Roberto Rodriguez and his left leg taped up. He gets in the ring and demands his rematch now! Before the match begins, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter come out, claiming Swagger deserves the credit for Dolph’s win and deserves the shot more than Del Rio. Swagger gets on the apron and ADR gets in a shot to Swagger’s face. Big E. gets between Del Rio and Ziggler, but Swagger grabs ADR’s leg and works it over in the corner, wrapping it around the ring post and pounding away on it.
Later in the show, we’re in Vicki Guerro’s office. She and her assistant, Brad Maddox are discussing things, when Teddy Long comes in. Apparently he’s taken it on himself to book Ziggler vs. Swagger and he’s given Swagger some “extra incentive,” to compete. Vicki likes the idea. Maddox tells Teddy to go tell someone. Teddy says it’s not his job. Vicki tells Brad to do it.
After Swagger’s win, (see above,) Del Rio attacks Swagger and goes after the arm. Officials break it up and Del Rio stands tall.
Rytman Remark: Okay, I’m thinking this angle is the one getting rushed. Having Del Rio demand a rematch while he’s still hurt makes him look more like a fool then a fighter. Why not do a Ziggler/Swagger program and save Del Rio for next month?
3.) FAHHHN-DAHHHN-GOING-GOING-GONE! – FANDANGO comes out to be interviewed by Lawler. When Fandango asks Lawler about moving his hips, Lawler decides to move his hips back to the announcers table. Fandango tries to get the crowd “Fandangoing,” with mixed results. A few minutes of this and Fandango tells the crowd to go “Fandango” themselves.
Rytman Remark: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF “FANDANGOING!”
4.) SHEAMUS/HENRY: IRISH CREAMED! (NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!) – Matt Striker is backstage interviewing Sheamus when Henry bull-rushes him down for the second time since last Friday.
Later in the show, we get an announcement for Smack-Down this Friday. Team White-snake (Sheamus/Orton) vs. Big Show and Mark Henry.
Rytman Remark: And we couldn’t do this match tonight because?…
5.) C.M. PUNK: PUNK OUT? – C.M. Punk came out with Heyman. Punk talks about how he could never enjoy what he has at the time, because he’s always looking “around the corner” for the next hurdle, how after holding the title for more than 400 days, he went right after the Undertaker’s streak. In the middle of the promo, the crowd starts a dueling chant for him and the Taker. Punk goes flat. His eyes, his posture, it becomes that of a man crushed. Punk hugs Paul, gives him the mike, and limps off, bypassing the stage and going right for the exit.
Rytman Remark: I am aware that Punk is taking the time off to heal up. However, I’m giving him credit for his performance. He came off like he really did “lose his smile,” and if you wanted to start retirement rumors (or an angle,) you could easily use this promo. I’m predicting a HUGE comeback for Punk – maybe even a face turn – when WWE realizes how much they miss him.
6.) BOOKER T/TEDDY LONG: CLASH OF THE TITANS (KINDA) – Backstage, Booker T is NOT happy with Teddy Long going over his head. He makes the match at Extreme Rules a three-way for the title and tells Teddy to “handle his business.”
Rytman Remark: I’m glad Teddy’s getting to assert himself, as opposed to being a constantly put-upon errand boy, but do we need ANOTHER POWER STRUGGLE ANGLE!? GOOD GRIEF!
Side Note: I heard Michael Cole on one of the shows, talking about Booker T letting the HOF honor go to his head, and how that may be contributing to his problems with Teddy. Guys, Booker is NOT the one coming off as a heel in this.
7.) CENA/RYBACK: CONTINUITY! (BOOM)PART 2– All night we’re teased with Ryback speaking out tonight about his actions. Striker has Cena backstage, where he comes out to almost NO reaction. Cena says he’ll be in the ring with a yellow shirt and his WWE title and he will confront Ryback tonight.
Ryback has his say in a pre-taped promo. Ryback starts by comparing his spot with Cena’s after Mania. Cena was on top, Ryback was on the bottom. Only one place each for them to go. Ryback goes over his past few months in WWE. He credits Cena as a friend and mentor, even mentioning last October when Cena nominated him for a shot at the WWE title. Ryback then goes over his feud with the Shield and Mark Henry, pointing out how Cena never came to help him out when he was jumped by the Shield, but he almost always had Cena’s back when he was jumped.
“I am not an afterthought. I am not a sidekick. … If you were Superman, say hello to Kryptonite!” – Ryback
He says being Cena’s “friend” meant staying in his shadow, and he’s not staying there anymore.
Our “main event” for the evening is Cena calling out Ryback.
“This week, I say you make a move, and see if you have what it takes to EARN a championship!” – John Cena
Ryback backs down and walks away.
SIERRA,HOTEL/INDIA/ECHO/LIMA/DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD!
The Shield come down to the ring and surround Cena. They hold back, waiting to see what Ryback will do.
Ryback walks off, and RAW ends with a Shield beat-down on Cena.
Side Note: We caught a second of the Shield in the “Gorilla” position by accident, which kinda gave it away.
So, you know someone lost a job.
Rytman Remark: Best Ryback Promo Ever. The guy knocked it out of the park, in regards to setting himself up as bitter/jealous. I commend whoever it was, that figured out how to string Ryback’s past booking together into a cohesive narrative. If you entertain the notion that this was the game plan all along, it explains why WWE booked him as a choke-artist. It gives him motive to turn bitter and blame Cena.
Here’s the problem…
If you want to call out Cena for not doing a run-in, you’re going to have to call out the ENTIRE WWE for not running in and helping out their “friends.” In the past year, building to Mania, the only person I’ve seen run-in to save someone from a beating was R-Truth helping out Kofi Kingston when he came back. I’m aware that Orton/Sheamus/and Big Show did run-ins w/each other during their feud w/the Shield, but that was under the premise of a common enemy, not “friendship.”
Rytman’s Review: Okay, not an earth-shattering RAW by any means, but an effective place-holder-episode. “Auto-pilot” isn’t always a bad idea, if it keeps things moving. This RAW did it’s job, setting up the next PPV. And speaking for myself, I appreciate keeping the drama brief.
Okay, again this week, just a general run down of the show with some of my humble opinions.
First up, match results
CHRIS JERICHO DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER W/AJ LEE & BIG E. – This match-up was booked as a card-change, as Fandango made his way to the ring for what was supposed to be his fifth or sixth “debut” but got beat-down/ran-off by an angry Jericho. Ziggler made his way out with his entourage as the announcers (Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler) told us this match was scheduled for later tonight. Jericho gets the win by submission with the walls of Jericho, but gets beat down by Big E. Langston. Fandango comes back out with his dance partner (the first girl to get a call-back) and picks the bones of Big E’s kill, landing a flying leg drop on Jericho’s neck.
MARK HENRY DEF. THE USOS – The Usos actually got in enough offense with their double-teaming to get a splash off the top rope for a two-count on Henry, but the match ends with Henry scoring a World’s Strongest Slam and getting the three-count. After the match, Henry brutalizes both brothers, making it clear he did not appreciate getting splashed.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO (COUNT OUT) – Ricardo Rodriguez hobbles out on his crutches to introduce Del Rio. The intro falls flat, although I think it was on purpose to help sell what bad shape he’s in. The match is just a formality as both men go through the motions for about five minutes before Zeb Coulter comes out. Ricardo tries to move away, but from out of nowhere Jack Swagger grabs him, and drags him by the bad ankle over to the guard rail. Del Rio abandons his match to fight off Swagger and Cesaro gets the win by count-out. Del Rio takes his anger out on Cesaro with the cross-arm breaker.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS (TITUS O’NEAL/DARREN YOUNG)- “Pancake” Patterson is given one mention and then quietly swept under the rug. Match is just a warm-up for the champions. Ziggler and crew show up on the stage to distract the champs and give the PTP’s an opening, but the match ends with Kane choke-slamming Young for the three count.
THE MIZ DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL WADE BARRETT – Before the match, Triple H came out to do cut a promo about his Wrestlemania match with Brock Lesnar. When Barrett comes out, he blocks Triple H’s way, and demands he step aside. Trips responds with a kick to the crotch. Miz comes out while Barrett is still recuperating. During the match, Barrett’s crotch briefly becomes the focal point of the match. Barrett crotches himself on the top rope with a missed kick and Miz gets the win with the figure-four submission.
THE SHIELD DEF. KHALI, RYDER, GABRIEL – To my knowledge, this is only the third actual match the Shield have officially wrestled in. The Shield wins this with a flying knee-drop to Justin Gabriel, trapped in a “Bow and arrow” hold. After the match, Khali takes a “Shield-Bomb.” Orton comes to the ring with Sheamus, and the Big Show comes up from behind, trapping the Shield. We get a brief fight before the Shield retreat.
TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS DEF BRODUS/TENSAI – Do you honestly care? This match is barley more than a pretense for a cat-fight between the Funkadactyls and the Bella Twins. Team Rhodes Scholars get the win by three-count during the confusion.
RYBACK DEF. 3MB – This was Ryback’s effort to show-up Henry that almost back-fired. The Three Man Band actually take control of the match using their numbers advantage, but it ends with Ryback getting two men up for the “Shell-Shock” and a three-count.
AJ LEE DEF. WWE DIVAS CHAMPION KAITLYN – This match was set up during a backstage segment, where Bryan and Kane were arguing over which of them was still hung up on AJ. Kaitlyn interjected, trying to get them both to let it go, while running off a list of nasty things to say about AJ, who just happened to be eavesdropping on them. Now here’s the interesting thing. AJ sends Kaitlyn head-first into a drinking fountain, or so it seemed. Kaitlyn sold it as making contact but their was NO sound effect to indicate Kaitlyn hit the fountain. Kaitlyn comes out to the ring holding her head, and when the bell rings, Kaitlyn goes to town on AJ, dominating the match and getting in all of the offence. AJ rolls out of the ring, and Kaitlyn goes after her. Kaitlyn tries a spear, but AJ side-steps her into the guard-rail, head first. AJ gets a count-out victory, and maybe a title shot at Mania. Kaitlyn gets a possible head-trauma gimmick.
So let’s look at the rest of the show.
C.M. Punk opens the show with a game of toss with the urn, and a promo that starts off by dumping on the Undertaker and his legacy. He even goes so far as to imply the streak is only important to him as something to break. He tries to mock the Takers classic pose, but the lights go out and when they come back, Taker is wailing on Punk. Punk and Heyman run off with the urn. Seemed a bit odd to me as the first half of Punk’s promo seemed to be Punk trying to convince us that this match wasn’t as important as we might feel it was.
Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield, during an interview about whether or not he and Orton can get along with Big Show, during their Mania six-man. Orton comes after them with a chair, but he gets overwhelmed by numbers. Big Show makes the save and runs off the Shield.
Now here, I gotta go into weird territory. If you’re a long time wrestling fan, you’l probably have some idea of what I’m saying here. Booking Show to come to the rescue seems a little heavy-handed to me. It’s like WWE is trying too hard to sell us on Show’s face-turn, which is par for the course with pro wrestling in general. Even if you’re among the youngest fans, you still can’t help but notice how it’s always Show that turns the tide when Orton/Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield. So I have to ask myself, is this just the same sloppy TV writing wrestling has always suffered from? Or is WWE trying to swerve me? I’m thinking maybe they want me to watch for a double-cross by Big Show so that they can swerve me with one by Orton…or Sheamus. I know Orton’s more likely, what with him reportedly wanting a heel-turn, but you know how wrestling-sorry “sports entertainment” likes illogical swerves.
Triple H cuts a promo on Brock Lesnar, about how if you don’t expect him to end your career, you’ve already lost. He makes it clear that he is coming to kick Lesnar’s ass.
Very generic promo, giving no sense that Trips was seriously concerned that his career was over. That might’ve been the plan, so that we’re actually surprised if he loses. (Which, if he does, we will be, just not for THAT reason.) And why did he have to bitch-out Wade Barrett on his way out? (See above.)
The show ended with an elaborate Q&A with John Cena and WWE champion The Rock, featuring WWE Hall Of Fame members Booker T, Brett Hart, Dusty Rhodes and Mick Foley. The panel lobs softball questions and both men give big, impassioned speeches about how/why they will win at Mania. Cena compares himself to Donavon McNabb, the Rock tells the story of how he had to get his first mattress out of a dumpster behind a motel. Cena blames his loss to Rock last year, on his letting Rock into his head. Cena tried to finish off Rock in Rock’s home-town, with his own version of “the peoples elbow.” Allowing Rock to catch him in a rock-bottom and getting the three. Rock borrows a quote from Ric Flair, “To be the man-woo-you must beat the man,” and between the two of them, Cena will never be “the man.”
I’m sorry to say this but I was underwhelmed. No new ground covered here, except for maybe when Cena “revealed” why he lost last year. I’m not a fan of “sports entertainment” trying to go into “deep, psychological,” story-lines, and I’m not moved by Cena’s need for redemption.
Overall, a pretty “meh” RAW. It did what it was supposed to do, advance the angles going into Wrestlemania, but it still felt like an auto-pilot show. That’s not always bad, but not the speed you want going into the biggest PPV of the year.
We open with a recap of WWE champion C.M. Punk running away from Ryback on last weeks’ show, leaving his team to be decimated by Team Foley. Backstage, Miz tells Heyman he quits.
We go to the ring for a six-man tag with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and R-Truth against U.S. champ Antonio Cesaro and the Prime Time Players (Young/O’Neil.) Truth and the masked men win the match with a head scissors, 619, and a “little Jimmy.” During the match, Re and Cara seemed to have some legit confusion over a double team.
Lawler returns next week.
Vicki Guerro came out to talk about AJ and Cena some more. I think the crowd was chanting “QUIET!” I’m not sure. Cena came out and brought up her being GM on Smackdown while being married to Edge, and hooking up with Dolph Ziggler. He calls her something I don’t understand. We get videos of AJ in a bathrobe knocking on a door, and John in a towel opening and closing a door. Vicki demands AJ come out. AJ, on the tron, threatens to attack Vicki if she comes out, Ziggler steps in and implies AJ is a whore. Cena heads to the back. Vicki laughs manically.
Backstage; Heyman talks Wade Barrett into joining Team Punk. Barrett hints at a favor.
Hell No comes out. We get Daniel Bryan against Cody Rhodes. A brawl on the outside sets up a win for Cody. Cody grabs the mike and brags that Sandow could beat Kane. Kane grabs Sandow.
We get Kane verses Sandow. Bryan chases Cody into the ring. The ref throws them both out. Kane wins with a choke-slam.
Cole interviews referee Brian Maddox. Maddox screwed Ryback out of the title at Hell in a Cell so he could be famous. Vince comes out and says if Maddox can beat Ryback next week, Maddox will get a $1,000,000 contract. He sends Maddox out and calls out Vicki Guerro. He scares Vicki into booking Punk into a three-way defense against Ryback and John Cena.
We get Sheamus against Miz with Big Show at ringside next. Miz looks good, getting in a lot of offense and dominating the match, but it ends with a brogue kick and a three-count for Sheamus.
Backstage; Vicki comes out of Vince McMahons office and tells Dolph Ziggler he’s the new captain of Punk’s team. Punk steps in to voice his objections; Vicki tells them they’re facing Ryback and Cena in tonight’s main event.
We get a promo for FANDANGO?
Backstage; we have Sheamus; thanking Stephen Regal for all his support, and agreeing to have dinner with him.
We get a recap of Vicki’s “evidence,” against AJ, and then we watch Aksana and Eve walk to the ring.
Our next match is Layla/Kaitlin vs. Divas champion Eve and Aksana. Kaitlin pins Eve and no-one cares.
Backstage; Alberto Del Rio and Roberto Rodriguez discuss being on Team Ziggler when Rosa Mendez bumps into ADR. He smiles and they hit the ring.
WWE IC champ Kofi Kingston comes out, followed by Ricardo announcing ADR, who drives out in a $500k Aston Martin. We get a recap of last Friday’s Smackdown, where ADR cost Randy Orton a loss against Wade Barrett, and Randy responded by attacking him backstage.
Our next match is Kingston vs. Del Rio. It’s a hard fought match, with the tide going back and forth until Orton’s music hits and distracts Del Rio, allowing Kofi to get the pin, and Orton to run in and RKO Del Rio.
We get a recap of the Maddox interview and Co-Bro (Santino Morella and Zack Ryder,) come out.
We get a tag team match with Co-Bro vs. Mo-Co (Primo/Epico) w/Rosa. We get a chant for Ryder and Santino gets the pin w/the Cobra.
Next up is Wade Barrett vs. Brodus Clay. Barrett is clearly the crowd favorite, despite the “Funkadactyls,” embarrassing attempt to rally the crowd. Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”
We get footage of people in a pub for some reason, and then we get Heath Slater w/Jinder Mahal vs. Jay Uso w/Jimmy Uso. Slater wins with the “Smash Hit,” (wide swinging DDT.)
And now, our main Event
WWE heavyweight champion C.M. Punk comes out with Paul Heyman. Punk recaps his victories over Ryback and Cena, and mentions his reign has been 351 days and he is the best in the world. Ziggler comes out followed by Cena (to a hostile crowd) and Ryback.
Our main event is a tag team match, Ryback/Cena vs. Punk/Ziggler. Cena carries most of the match as the face in peril. The big finish is Cena making the tag and Ryback devastating their opponents. He tosses Ziggler out of the ring like a doll, and pins Punk with the Shell-shock. The show closes with a Cena/Ryback stare down and Ryback going “Feed Me More…Feed Me More…etc.”
RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber. Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.
ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown. Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere. Orton gets the win.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match. I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office. Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.
WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in. Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later. Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d. R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.
3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.
AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…
BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.
RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS
We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.
WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow. He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match. Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next. Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy. He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago. He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.
“THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk
Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk. Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match. Punk and Heyman bail.
Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ. Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva. Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.
After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki. Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…
Recap:
Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.
Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John. John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.
After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive. AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off. Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone. AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.
After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus. He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE. He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship. Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face. He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…
“Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus
Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show. Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.
After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night. Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back. She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match. Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH! Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.
After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known. They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.
After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation. After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
You know, I gotta admit. This was something. For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive. I give them kudos.
After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams. Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio. Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise. This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him. After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.
As the world turns it’s attention to Big Bird, and MLB playoffs, or the accurate celebration of Thanksgiving, the WWE is a busy beaver. RAW went head to head with a huge NFL game. The debuting Main Event program in the US market would contend with Presidential Debates and Triple Crown feats. What a great idea! But, Smackdown continues to dwell in it’s miserable timeslot on Friday although now up against two wildcard MLB playoff games, and that means it’s time to hop to it, shall we?
First, I want to apologize for the lateness of this article. There was a death in my family this week, and it took precedent over anything else. MATCH RESULTS
REY MYSTERIO AND SIN CARA DEF EPICO AND PRIMO – After the match, Rey-Cara were ambushed by the Prime Time Players, who said they were the rightful number one contenders to the tag title and wouldn’t let anyone take anything from them ever again.
EVE TORRES (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF BETH PHEONIX – The broadcast team spent this match speculating over whether or not Eve got her title match by injuring Kaitlin, the scheduled opponent for then champ Layla, who joined the team at ringside. Layla tried to take up the debate, but faltered.
BRODUS CLAY DEF HEATH SLATER – U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro joined the broadcast team to set up a potential feud with Brodus.
DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF SANTINO MARELLA – Marella got distracted trying to get his “Cobra” back from Vicki Guerro at ringside, leaving him vulnerable to two “Zigzags.”
WADE BARRETT DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – Little more than a squash to build up Barrett.
TEAM FRIENDSHIP DEF KINGSTON/R-TRUTH – Kane and Bryan constantly arguing left them vulnerable to double-teaming and high-impact spots, however Bryan brought the belts home with the “no” lock.
RANDY ORTON DEF TENSAI – This was the basic “face takes a beating but keeps coming back,” routine. Orton wins with the RKO.
DAMIEN SANDOW DEF ZACK RYDER – Ryder actually looked good here, even getting a close two-count with the “broski boot,” but in the end it was another win for Sandow. Prior to this match, Sandow came out to remind us that this was back-to-school season, and attempted to give the crowd a “vocabulary lesson,” by running them down with terms like “ignoramuses,” and “miscreants.” This leads to a (heated) debate by the announcers over what counts as a “big word.”
SHEAMUS AND JOHN CENA DEF C.M. PUNK AND ALBERTO DEL RIO – We got a fast-paced back and forth, with everyone getting a piece of everyone else. Match ends with Cena getting an AA on Punk for the three-count despite Punk having a foot clearly on the ropes. Punk actually badgers the ref all the way to the back about the decision.
Highlights of the night included both Jim Ross and John Bradshaw Layfield joining Cole on commentary, and a repeated update on Jerry Lawler. He is home in Memphis, recuperating and will be on RAW next week for a special interview.
Overall, a solid, if uneventful RAW; at least till the end
