Tag Archive: Rhodes Scholars

  1. WWE RAW 6/24/13: RAW is RERUN

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    Last week ended on a positive note.  I had hope that things were looking up for WWE.  Then I watched the first 30 minutes of this show.  Now I’m dreading watching the rest of it.  My night has been pretty good so far though, what with the Chicago Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup over my most hated NHL team, the Boston Bruins and all.  Oh well, fuck it.  Let’s go.

    I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, then instead of tormenting myself by watching the first 30 over again, I write down the gist of it and then watch the rest of the show.  Also, I play by my own rules.  Screw you, SmackDown review!

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  2. RYTMAN’S RECAP – RAW 04/22/2013

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    Let’s start with…

    MATCH RESULTS

    1.) R-TRUTH DEF. ANTONIO CESARO – This was kind of a weird match.  Cesaro dominates using his strength and wear-down holds on Truth, until Cesaro misses a clothesline.  Truth takes over with fast-strikes, (mostly kicks,) and gets the win with the face-drop.

    Rytman Remark: What is with the R-Truth winning streak?  Are they building him up to challenge Ziggler?  And why R-Truth as opposed to…anybody else?

    Side Note: The less said about Cesaro yodeling the better.

    2.) DAMIEN SANDOW (w/Cody Rhodes) DEF. BRODUS CLAY (w/”Sweet T” and the Funkadactyls) – Team Rhodes Scholars (Sandow/Cody Rhodes,) come out without the Bellas for the second time this month.  Clay tosses Sandow around with ease, until Sandow takes control with a combo of short-range strikes and mat-wrestling.  Match ends with Cody distracting Brodus and Sandow getting a roll-up with a handful of tights for the three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Without a Bellas/Funkadactyls cat-fight, this feud really has no point.

    3.) ZIGGLER (w/AJ and Big E.) DEF. CHRIS JERICHO – First really good, solid match of the night.  The first high point is Dolph faking out Jericho and sliding out to score a kiss from AJ, and Jericho responding w/a drop-kick to the back of the head.  Ziggler dominates until he gets cocky, and Jericho uses his agility and high-flying moves to make a come-back.  Jericho locks in the “Walls of Jericho,” and just when it looks like Ziggler will tap…

    #DADA-DA-DA-DA-DADA…

    Yup, Fandango’s music hits, and a distracted Jericho takes a Zig-Zag from Ziggler, who gets the pin.

    Rytman Remark: Sorry to see a loss for Jericho, but Ziggy needed the win here.

    4.) “SWEET T” (w/Brodus Clay & the Funkadactyls) DEF. CODY RHODES (w/Damian Sandow)– Pretty much the same match we saw earlier (see Brodus/Sandow,) with the exception of “Sweet T” holding Cody up in the air for a long time (ala Davy Boy Smith’s standing vertical suplex.) Brodus and the Funkadactyls try to get the crowd going with mixed results.  Sandow interferes but Brodus takes him down with a head-butt charge, and “T” catches Cody’s attempted “Beautiful Disaster” kick.  “T” gets a three-count, and we get a dance party.

    Rytman Remark:

    What do you wanna hear?  It was what it was.

    5.) BIG E. DEF. ZACK RYDER – Ryder got in some offense, but this ended with the “Big Ending” by Langston for a three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Let’s face it people, this is the best possible use for Ryder.  At least he’s getting TV time.

    6.) THE SHIELD DEF. THE UNDERTAKER/WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) – The big match of the night.  Crowd was into this one before it even got started.  Taker makes his entrance alone, and is soon surrounded by the Shield. (See “Angles” below.) Team Hell No run-in just in time and the match gets going.

    Taker’s team took control early w/quick and frequent tags and getting an “old school” spot on Ambrose (second attempt.) They double-teamed Ambrose, then Reigns.  The Shield took over on Kane when Reigns held him for a clothesline/running kick combo from Ambrose/Rollins.  Shield takes turns beating down Kane, but Kane gets Daniel Bryan in, and Bryan has huge crowd support.  He gets the “YES” chants going with every shot he lands until he misses a charging dropkick to Rollins in the corner.

    Shield works over Bryan until Taker gets the hot tag.  Taker is in charge until Reigns gets a spear in.  Kane comes back in and takes over, bringing Bryan back in.  Taker/Kane get into a brawl w/Rollins & Reigns while D-Bry misses the flying head-butt.  Ambrose wraps him up and gets a three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Sorry to see Taker get a loss, but putting over the Shield was the right thing to do.

    7.) FANDANGO DEF. WILLIAM REGAL – Here’s a fun little surprise bonus.  Regal matches Fandango’s hip action w/a little step or two of his own.  The match ends quickly when Fandango catches Regal in the “Dip-DT,” (Copyright, Robert Rytman,) and gets the three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Good to see Regal here in action.  Just now (sadly) realizing how awesome a Regal/Jericho tag team would’ve been.

    8.) DIVA ROYAL – AJ, Layla, Naomi, Aksana, and Tamina.  Diva’s Champ Kaitlyn joins the announce team to scout this match.  The Bellas (according to the announce team) where disqualified from competing in this because of their illegal double team on Kaitlyn last week. (Author’s note: Dafuq?) AJ teases a kissing spot on Tamina, who responds with a kick to the face.  AJ spends the whole match out on her back (Author’s note: SHUT UP PERVS!) while the other ladies eliminate each other.

    Layla is the last girl standing.  She tries to get AJ up and through the ropes while AJ sandbags her.  AJ ‘comes to” and kicks Layla out of the ring to win.

    Rytman Remark: Okay, I get what they’re doing.  They don’t trust AJ to wrestle a whole match, so they book her to win, by making one smart move at the right time.  Not a horrible idea, but they will run out of ways for her to pull it off quick.

    Side Note: The Bellas were “disqualified” from being in the battle royal for their illegal double team last week?  I could go into a dissertation about all the ways that doesn’t work and all the plot-holes it opens, but I wanna get this over with, you wanna get back to your lives, let’s just call it stupid and leave it at that.

    Side-Side Note: I’d be wasting the effort it would take to point out Layla could’ve just rolled AJ over the bottom rope to the floor, right?

    Okay, moving on to…

    MAJOR STORYLINES/ANGLES

    1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: THE SAGA CONTINUES…WEITHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT – RAW opens with a fade-in on a close-up of Paul Heyman.  Heyman introduces himself as a representative for Brock Lesnar, and recaps his decimation of 3MB last week, as well as his subsequent challenge to Triple H to a cage match at “Extreme Rules.” He announces that Triple H is not at RAW, and reads an e-mail from him, saying his injuries have kept him from flying and he will answer Heyman next week.  Heyman knows how let-down we all are.  He feels the same…

    “I have been let down by this gutless coward who didn’t have the manhood to appear tonight… “- Paul Heyman

    At that moment, the music hits and Triple H is out!  He explains the e-mail simply, he lied.

    He asks Paul for a favor…

    “I want you to go back home to Brock Lesnar and tell him I ACCEPT!” – Triple H

    Triple H ends this w/a pedigree on Heyman to the cheers of the crowd.

    Rytman Remark: This has got to be a record, SHORTEST TRIPLE H PROMO EVER!

    2.) ZIGGLER/DEL-RIO/SWAGGER: HEY THIS MIGHT GET INTERES-NEVERMIND – We backstage as Ziggler is making kissy-kissy w/the World Heavyweight Championship.  AJ shows up and jokes about being jealous.  Ziggler remarks how good she’d look with a title of her own, when we notice Big E. looking on…

      “E! This is Dolph-and-AJ time. Please no creeping!” – Dolph Ziggler.

    Big E. walks off as RAW managing supervisor Vicki Guerro and her assistant Brad Maddox enter, informing Ziggler if he loses to Jericho tonight, Jericho gets a spot in the title match w/Swagger & Alberto Del Rio, making it a four-way at extreme rules.  Ziggler wins, (see Match Results, above,) and everyone gets disappointed.

    Rytman Remark: Nice tease job WWE, however I argue that Jericho would’ve brought some BADLY needed heat to a lukewarm angle.

    3.) JERICHO/FANDANGO: SPECIAL GUEST DIVA, SUMMER RAE – Fandango comes out for his match with Regal, with NXT developmental diva Summer Rae as his new dance partner.  After his win (see Match Results, above,) he gets jumped from behind by Jericho, who rubs salt in the wound by offering Summer a dance.  She accepts and Jericho gives her a whirl.  Summer looks flustered (in the good way) as Fandango rolls around in pain.

    4.) SHIELD/TAKER/TEAM HELL NO: AN UNDERTAKING OF TAKING ON, THE TAKING-OUT OF UNDERTAKER – The Shield make their first on-camera appearance of the night, by helicopter, transferring to a black Range Rover to the arena.

    Backstage, Bryan is upset that the Taker hasn’t shown up to go over strategy.  He asks Kane why he doesn’t just call his brother…

    “Give him a call? He doesn’t exactly carry a cell phone!” – Kane

    Bryan insists that Kane look at his diagrams, and asks if Kane is upset about them not hugging in a while.  Kane asks Bryan for a favor when Taker shows up.

    “Do NOT try to give him a hug!” – Kane

    Suddenly, Kane and Bryan go down hard as the camera shakes.  The tag champs are on the floor as three sets of black boots stroll off.

    Later in the night, it looked like the Taker would have to face Shield all by himself, but Hell No made the match in time.

    Rytman Remark: Waste of effort seeing how Shield won anyway.

    5.) CENA/RYBACK: I HAVE NOTHING – We take a look back at the recent bad-blood between Cena/Ryback, and how it’s lead to a match at Extreme Rules.  Mick Foley is interviewed about Ryback’s recent actions.  Foley mentions how it’s not in human nature to look in the mirror and see your own shortcomings.  Ryback responds in his interview later that night…

    “I look in the mirror and don’t see shortcomings. I look in the mirror, and see the next WWE Champion!” – Ryback

    It’s revealed that Foley will confront Ryback later on the show.  A little later, we see Foley talking w/Cena backstage…

    “In a career full of mistakes, this might be my biggest!” – Mick Foley

    I’m just gonna sum this up, Foley calls out Ryback and gives him the speech about character, about how he can have all the tools, but needs heart and guts to get it done, and how letting Cena get beat-down by other people makes it a cheap-win.  Ryback snaps back with how Foley is old and his message is archaic.  It looks like Ryback will kill Foley, but Cena runs out to make the save, much to the disappointment of a crowd that wanted to see Foley die apparently.

    The Shield makes an appearance and Cena teases leaving Ryback at their mercy.  But when Shield attacks, Cena makes the save with a chair and runs the Shield off.  Cena gives the AA to a confused Ryback, and RAW ends w/Cena standing tall.

    Rytman Remark: Why can’t Mark Henry be the #1 contender and just spare us all this?

    Side Note: Why didn’t Ryback and the Shield join forces?  It was the perfect moment and would’ve been easy to explain.  Ryback wants Cena, Shield wants to get rid of Cena, done and done.

    Rytman’s Review: I liked this RAW up until the ending.  It kept things moving and set up the stories nicely, but this FRIGGIN’ ending made no damn sense.  My only guess is the save at the end was an attempted “make good” to Ryback in order to protect Cena’s image.

  3. Wrestlemania 29 according to WWE’13

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    Well here’s my contribution to Wrestlemania week  and like last year is a look at what Wrestlemania through the eyes of WWE’13 well the Wii version anyway.  Hey it’s better than Smackdown vs. RAW 2010 which is what I used last year. Just to let everyone know that the Wii version of this game has no DLC so I’ll only be doing the matches I can with what I’ve got.  I will also be doing this on simulate mode so I will have no effect on the outcomes of the matches. So without further ado, lets go: (more…)

  4. WWE RAW 12/17/12: The Slammy Awards

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    One day after we gave out our own awards for the year in wrestling, the WWE copies us by giving out their annual Slammy Awards.  I, for one, think the BWF Awards are more prestigious.  After all, you can’t buy a BWF Award.  Anyway, let’s get started so I can finish this by 3AM.

    I watch 30 minutes of RAW.  I leave for work.  I obtain a copy of RAW when I get to work.  And since I don’t have the foresight to start my review while I’m watching the first half hour, I have to sit through it again.  That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.

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  5. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/29/12

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber.  Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.

    ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown.  Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere.  Orton gets the win.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match.  I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office.  Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.

    WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in.  Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later.  Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d.  R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.

    3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.

    AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…

    BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.

    RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.

    BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS

    We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.

    WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow.  He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match.  Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next.  Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy.  He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago.  He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.

    “THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk

    Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk.  Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match.  Punk and Heyman bail.

    Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ.  Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva.  Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.

    After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki.  Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…

    Recap:

    • Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
    • Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
    • Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
    • Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.

    Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John.  John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.

    After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive.  AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off.  Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone.  AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.

    After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus.  He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE.  He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship.  Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face.  He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…

    “Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus

    Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show.  Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.

    After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night.  Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back.  She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match.  Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH!  Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.

    After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known.  They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.

    After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation.  After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    You know, I gotta admit.  This was something.  For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive.  I give them kudos.

    After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams.  Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio.  Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise.  This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him.  After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.

  6. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/22/12

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    SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO VS RHODES SCHOLARS – Right off the bat, we get into the action. As Rey makes his way out, we’re told by Michael Cole that RAW GM AJ Lee has been called to an emergency meeting at WWE HQ. Sandow and Rhodes win when Sandow blocks the ref from a three count. Sandow and Cara spill outside while Cody hits the crossroads for the three.
    It could just be me, but Cara looked like he was having an off night. The double teams from the masked men seemed awkward, and not as quick or crisp as you’d expect.
    After the match, Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) cut a promo on their new no. 1 contenders and Kane pulled Bryan behind him, grabbing him by the face, followed up by a pyro spot

    We come back from break with a “Tout” by Zack Ryder about working the first ever WWE Egyptian tour. We get a look at pics and videos.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON VS MICHAEL MIGILLICUTTY – The Miz joins the commentary team to scout Kofi; however Cole and J.R. put the focus on his match later tonight with Ryback, and the Egyptian tour. Kofi wins it with “Trouble in Paradise.”

    We go to a recap of last Monday’s contract signing when Cena gave Ryback the title-shot at Hell in the Cell, and Ryback gave Punk the “shell-shock.”

    Back from break and we get a shot of Super Bowl Champions the New York Giants before Cena comes out to “really NOT pro-Cena,” crowd. Cole reminds us to go to WWE.com and help the Susan G. Komen foundation fight breast cancer by buying special John Cena merchandise. (100 % goes to the charity.) He cuts a promo about Ryback and Punk at HitC, putting over Ryback as a no-nonsense ass-kicker, promising a Ryback win.
    C.M. Punk comes out w/Paul Heyman. Punk calls Cena on his predictable pandering to the Giants, saying he prefers the San Francisco brand. Punk says he’s the best in the world and promises he will win at HitC. He compliments Cena on his new role as “cheerleader” for Ryback and credits Cena for realizing he can’t beat him. Cena responds by saying he’s clear to wrestle and challenges Punk to step up/in the ring. Punk walks all the way to the edge of the apron, Heyman begging him not to do it every step, and backs out with the belt.

    We go to break with another mention of AJ Lee tweeting about her emergency meeting with WWE HQ.

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cole mentions how Cesaro said no American can beat him, and how last week he disrespected the Sun Records building, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis. End of the match is Gabriel and Cesaro on the top rope, trading hits until Cesaro falls, and Gabriel hits the 450 splash FOR THE WIN! Cole and J.R. sell this as a huge upset and suggest Gabriel might be getting a shot at the U.S. title.

    Backstage; a limo rolls in and Vince McMahon himself gets out w/RAW GM A.J. Lee in tow. (It looks like a kidnapping.)
    Back from break, Vince has AJ in the ring. Vince tells us about AJ being called in by the Board of Directors, and gives the mike to AJ.  AJ officially resigns as GM based on false allegations of “fraternizing” with a WWE superstar. AJ gives an awesome speech about how grateful she is to the WWE for giving a poor girl who grew up with nothing a chance, and how she went from having nothing to being the boss. Vince gives her a hug.
    Out comes Paul Heyman, ragging on AJ for being a “Jersey Girl,” and complimenting her back-handedly for overcoming he faults. He nominates himself as new GM and gets shot down by Vince. We are introduced to new WWE “managing supervisor,” Vicki Guerro.

    What the hell is a “managing supervisor?”

    After Vicki thanks the WWE for the opportunity, Heyman tries to work his charm on her, and tries to get Punk out of his match with Ryback. Vicki shoots him down and makes tonight’s Main Event a champion vs. champion, lumberjack match with Sheamus against C.M. Punk. Heyman walks off having a conniption while Vicki cuts a promo on AJ, calling her too “immature,” for a position of authority. Vicki tells the crowd she was accused of having an “affair” with a WWE superstar. Vicki tries to dismiss her, but after a few steps, AJ decides to go after her. After a quick cat-fight, Vicki bails, and we go to break.

    So for the record, dating WWE talent is a no-no.
    Marriage, that’s a whole different thing.

    Back from break; with Ryback in the ring, followed by The Miz.

    RYBACK VS THE MIZ – Do you expect me to end this in ANY OTHER WAY than clothesline, followed by Shellshock, Ryback gets the pin?

    After the match, we get a promo of the WWE talking to kids about bullying as part of the “Be a Star” campaign AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHOS GOING TO POINT OUT THE IRONY OF EVE TORRESS DOING THIS AIN’T I?

    We come back from break with Eve backstage dogging AJ on her phone, implying AJ hooked up with Zack Ryder and Primo. Kaitlyn confronts her with a picture taken off her I-pad, and it breaks down into a brawl with Layla getting into it.

    If I knew how, I’d post video of Peter Griffin going “WHO THE HELL CARES?” on constant loop.

    After that, we go to a interview backstage with Josh Mathews and Sheamus, playing with a WWE brawling buddy. Big Show comes in, knocks it away, and warns Sheamus to get serious.

    Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring as we go to break.

    When we come back, we get a pop for WWE.com and a story about Cena getting a special award from the “Make a Wish,” foundation.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – J.R. and Cole speculate about Vicki dropping Dolph and the future of RAW management while Ziggler and Bryan wrestle one of the best matches I’ve seen this year. There’s a LOT of high-spots and big-impact maneuvers, and a scary spot with Ziggler hitting the ring-post head first. Match ends with Kane (Bryan’s partner) distracting Bryan with a “YES!” chant and Ziggler hitting the Zig-Zag.

    Side Note: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY LOSE THE TITLES AND FUED FOR A MONTH ALREADY?

    After the match, Team Hell No argues until Matt Stryker comes out to announce that Kane and Bryan have been ordered by Vicki Guerro to compete in a “therapeutic game show,” against Rhodes Scholars.

    They ain’t thrilled about it either.

    After the break, we get a recap of AJ resigning, Vicki being made “managing supervisor,” and AJ going off on her ass.

    Bryan and Kane are seated for “the Newly Tag” game, and act like they plan to play along. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out, crap all over the segment, and walk. Stryker declares them the winners by forfeit as Bryan has a win-gasim. Bryan and Kane look at Stryker with murderous intent. Stryker bails and from the safety of the stage, smiles villainously and makes it clear he can’t wish them luck in their match on Sunday. Big Show walks up behind him and tosses him across the stage like a bowling ball.

    So anybody gonna explain to me what Stryker did to deserve this bitch-booking? Or whatever happened to that whole “no touching announcers,” rule?

    Back from break, Kane and Big Show have a match in progress.

    BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE – Slow back and forth brawl; with lots of punching and choking with a few high spots. Show wins with the big right hand after Rhodes Scholars comes out with the distraction and double team Bryan into unconsciousness.

    Backstage; Santino tries to comfort AJ. Cena enters the picture and Santino walks. Cena tries to get AJ fight this, AJ reveals Cena was the one they accused her of “fraternizing” with, and she took the hit to protect him. Cena hugs AJ and promises to take care of this.

    Back from break, Miz is Touting about Cairo Egypt, being awesome as part of the world tour.

    Backstage: Cena confronts Vince about the decision to replace AJ with Vick – sort of. Apparently Vince has no say in how his own company is run.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS ZACK RYDER – Okay, what is J.R.’s problem tonight? First he and Cole gripe about Roberto Rodriguez introducing Del Rio, then he says something about hearing people complaining about losing their “spot” for years, then he dumps on Ryder’s “internet champion” gimmick. Del Rio wins with the Arm-breaker, and then cuts a promo on Ryder as if he were Randy Orton while continuing to brutalize him. Del Rio mocks Orton’s posing.

    Backstage; Vicki Guerro is cleaning out AJ’s office when Cena gets all up in her face, Vicki points out Cena asked her out on TV, and they were seen having dinner together. He claims it was a business dinner as friends. Vicki says it doesn’t matter; Cena is still the one who cost her, her job.

    Back from break, we have an interview with Dolph Ziggler. He blames John Cena for the whole mess, and implies AJ should’ve had “better taste.”

    We get a Ryback Video Package showing him destroy people and how much the crowd loves him.

    Someone WILL have to explain this to me.

    Backstage; Heyman tries to comfort C.M. Punk who’s upset about the lumberjack match with Sheamus. Heyman tries to keep his spirits up; reassuring him he will be Champion after this Sunday.

    Back from break; we have a TON of WWE superstars around the ring and C.M. Punk in the ring. Sheamus is out next, and you can hear a faint C.M. Punk chant.

    WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK VS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS – As Sheamus makes his way to the ring, Cole quotes a tweet from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, wishing him luck. Early in the match, Sheamus is tossed out and the lumberjacks give him a huge berth. When Punk is tossed out a minute later, the “jacks” swarm him. We get a solid, if basic match that builds its pace slowly but gets the crowd into it. Two of the lumberjacks run into the ring and each eats a big boot from Sheamus. Sheamus goes for Punk but takes a chokeslam from Big Show allowing Punk to get the pin.

    And no; I don’t know why Punk wasn’t DQ’d when the two guys ran in.

    After the match, Ryback comes out to get a piece of Punk. Whenever Punk tries to run, the face lumberjacks toss him back to Ryback. Ryback tosses punk like a pizza and drops him on a bunch of heels. Punk whimpers in pain as Ryback stands tall.