So, let’s have a quick wee look at this week’s SmackDown!, shall we?

Before I begin, I just wanna thank everyone who commented and got involved with my last article, Is John Cena Homophobic?. It was great to see so much discussion on the matter, and I hope some of you have stuck around on BoredWrestlingFan!

We start this week’s show with a lovely little video detailing last Friday’s firing of Vickie Guerrero. Poor Vickie. I’m sure we’ll see her again soon, however!

Tonight will see Edge and Alberto Del Rio officially sign the contract for their match at WrestleMania. Just as an aside, I think it’s great that Tinie Tempah’s ‘Written In The Stars’ is the theme for this year’s ‘Mania – he may have a rubbish name, but that’s a great wee track.

Edge comes out to the ring and boasts about his win last week resulting in Vickie being fired. He tries to get the crowd to sing another rendition of that damn ‘Hey hey hey, goodbye’ song (what is that called, anyway?), but is quickly interrupted by Drew McIntyre. Both men start trading punches, before Edge sends McIntyre to the outside. Before the Scotsman can retaliate, Teddy Long’s music hits. He thanks Drew for losing the match last week, getting rid of Vickie as a result. He then sets up a match between the two Superstars, before Edge leads the crowd in a ‘Thank you, Drew!’ chant.

Edge vs. Drew McIntyre: I’ve really been enjoying McIntyre’s newly-rediscovered aggression as of late. His performance in the Elimination Chamber was inspiring – hopefully we’ll see him rise to the top of the blue brand in 2011. Edge eventually hits the Spear on Drew, but pulls his opponent’s head up before the 3-count. Instead, he decides to lock in his Sharpshooter variant and makes McIntyre tap out. A retort to Del Rio’s Cross Armbreaker, perhaps? Your winner: Edge

Rey Mysterio appears to his music, although he looks slightly taller, slightly snazzier, and slightly more dashing. Yes, Dashing Cody Rhodes is wearing Rey’s mask, which strangely works with the black suit and red tie. We’re shown a recap of Cody’s vicious attack on Rey last week, which culminated in the theft of his mask. Kudos to Cody Rhodes here (…Codos? Rhodos? Sorry, that was terrible…), as this is easily one of the best promos he has delivered. He is another Superstar who is benefitting greatly from an aggressive streak. Cody finishes by challenging Rey to a match at WrestleMania, where he promises to unmask Mysterio after defeating him.

Backstage, The Corre offer their services to help Kane defeat Big Show later tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championships: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov: I kinda wish The Corre would change their t-shirts – they look like they cost a fiver to be made at one of those stalls you find in shopping centres. Let’s skip towards the end. After everybody’s favourite moment, Obligatory Tag Match Breakdown Time!, Santino looks set to recapture the tag titles with a Cobra. The other Corre members provide a distraction, however, and Slater attacks from behind for the win. Your winners: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

We’re told that Christian will return to SmackDown! next week. Excellent! I’ve missed having him around.

The Undertaker is about to return, but we’re first shown Triple H’s promo on RAW. Remember that? Y’know, the one where he made the rest of the roster look bad by claiming he was the only challenge in the locker room? After that, Johnny Cash’s ‘Ain’t No Grave’ begins to play as ‘Taker makes his way down to the ring. His promo includes a lot of compliments to Trips – he even says he considers Triple H ‘probably the greatest World Heavyweight Champion over the last decade and a half.’ Um, what? What about yourself? There’s not much to comment on here – standard Undertaker Road to WrestleMania promo. I’m still not excited for that bout…

Beth Phoenix/Rosa Mendes vs. LayCool: I’m pretty gutted about the impending doom of LayCool – I honestly think the team still has legs, all these months on. This match has a wee Obligatory Tag Match Breakdown Time! of its own! Hooray. With the referee distracted by Rosa, Michelle interferes and kicks Beth in the head, giving Layla the victory. LayCool survives for another week, then. Your winners: LayCool

Big Show vs. Kane: If you’re excited by the prospect of this match, then you are insane. What worries me most is the implication that this will lead to that rumoured ‘Mania match of The Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/blahblah/blahblahblah. Both men go down shortly into this match with a double clothesline. Uh oh. The Corre appear at ringside, and Barrett slides a steel chair into the ring. Kane grabs it and lays into Big Show for some reason, losing the match in the process. The members of Corre pounce on Big Show, who pushes Justin Gabriel into Kane. The Big Red Monster smacks Gabriel in the back with a chair, making The Corre scatter. Yes, that was very logical booking. My fears for that Corre match continue to grow… Booker T calls Kane, ‘the Superman of the WWE.’ I’m confused. Your winner: Big Show via DQ

Jack Swagger vs. JTG: Michael Cole goes crazy as Swagger enters, as we’re reminded that Swaggsy will be Cole’s trainer for his ‘Mania match against Jerry Lawler. Apparently there’s now a ‘Team Cole’. I want a t-shirt. Forget those Twilight jerks; I’m Team Cole! Cole joins Swagger in the ring and gets some huge heat. He says the special guest referee will be revealed on Monday Night RAW. After an ad break, we return to see this match-up begin. I’m sure it’ll be a short bout… Cole is fantastic on commentary here – words don’t do him justice. Needless to say, Swagger picks up a quick victory with the Ankle Lock. Your winner: Jack Swagger

Time for the contract signing. Yay! These are never very exciting. Although, if I remember correctly, Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels had an insanely intense contract signing during their ultra-hot 2008 feud. Alberto is out first here, and gives the microphone back to Ricardo Rodriguez who sings the Mexican national anthem. Edge’s music soon interrupts – tonight is not the night to attempt musical performances in the WWE. As both men sit down at the table, a ‘USA!’ chant rises from the crowd. Um, one is Canadian (and therefore awesome by default) and the other is Mexican. Unless this crowd is just overwhelmed by the presence of Teddy Long (and, really, who wouldn’t be?), they are being a bit silly here. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard the crowd chant that during a match between Edge and another non-American. Both men sign the contract, and a few seconds later… there goes the table. Damn. Edge lays Del Rio out with an Edgecution, then signals for the Spear. Ricardo Rodriguez causes a distraction, which lets Del Rio take control. He takes Edge’s bandaged arm, and locks in the Cross Armbreaker. He puts Edge’s arm inside a chair, and looks to ram him into the steel post, but Christian runs to the rescue. The show ends with Christian being dragged off of Del Rio by a number of referees.

That’s it for another week! Cheers for reading!

The post SmackDown! (03/04/11): Return The Phenom appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

To view the rest of the column, survive the opening video.

TNA had a PPV this past week called Turning Point, and strangely enough, it included no wrestling of any kind in the entire three-hour event. I’ve managed to find just a small sample of the event in question, and I have to say, if this is what Hogan and Bischoff vision TNA to be like, I think it could last. It’s more entertaining I’ve seen on WWE TV in the past year.

Also, with their new PPV format, the meaning of why the majority of their events are named after things relating to Phil Collins has finally been realized, and with Genesis and Against All Odds coming up in the next three months, one gets the strangest feeling that Kurt Angle is going to be belting out a tune, just as badly as some of his previous efforts.

I mentioned Phil Collins in the previous paragraph, and it got me thinking. Rather than talk about the complete rubbish known as the WWE, I’ve decided to challenge myself. Here we go, we start with Genesis, and end with Final Resolution. However, the link, must in some way, fit in with the name of the PPV, and not have any association with wrestling matches or happenings from the PPV.

Twelve PPVs, twelve links, let’s go.

Genesis, Against All Odds, Destination X, Lockdown, Sacrifice, Slammiversary, Victory Road, Hard Justice, No Surrender, Bound For Glory, Turning Point, Final Resolution.

If you think I cheated in anyway, then please be more than willing to leave a comment in the comment section of the column, and I may or may not, depending on whether or not I can be bothered, will reply to said comment/s.

Going outside the wrestling realms, and if you’re a contestant in either Miss USA or Miss Universe, do not film yourself committing sexual acts, as they can and will be used against you. In about the difference a week gives, it has been revealed that Miss USA first runner-up Carrie Prejean, and the 2008  Miss Universe contestant from Trinidad and Tobago, both have sex tapes. Prejean’s has not been released, whereas Miss T&T’s has been leaked, with her, and a ‘very, very good friend’, rumoured to be Miss Japan form the same Miss Universe contest, showing that they are more than willing to take a shot in the mouth to get what they want. Don’t worry kiddies, I provide you with all the links you need. Because if you spy hard enough for them, then you won’t find them here.

Did anyone else notice in the music video for  ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic’s ‘Amish Paradise’, Al has a resemblance to one Stephen Colbert? If you agree, or disagree, then leave a comment, or use Twitter, or Facebook, or wherever else we are. I honestly don’t know, I just write columns.

Random Song Of The Week

That’s it. I’m done. No more random music videos. OK, just one more. But that’s it. Tune in the rest of the week You might enjoy what is provided by the usual suspects. But I promise you, they don’t provide you, the way I provide you.

The post The War On Everything appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Before I begin this week, it seems that other columns on this site are getting rave reviews. Drow wrote a piece on the Casual vs Core wrestling fan, and JT’s Randomness always gets the people talking. Yet, nobody talks about this little piece unless I mention Brett Favre. Now I have, you watch them start talking about the new Viking. Speaking of Vikings, when’s Erik getting a start, or won’t Susan Sarandon let him?

Speaking of Brett, I am now turned off of SportsCenter’s NFL coverage because of everyone’s man-crush for #4. Hey ESPN, he isn’t that good. Green Bay won’t retire his number because he retires, and then magically comes back every year. He doesn’t do training camp, he doesn’t do any training, and yet everyone comes out and says ‘Oh, he’ll save the Minnesota Vikings, they’re now a superbowl team’.

First off, I am a better QB than Tavaris Jackson. Secondly, how does poor Sage Rosenfels feel now? He was traded from Houston, after being back-up to Matt Schaub, to Minnesota, in hopes of a starting spot, and yet, it looks like there’d be more of a chance he’d get a starting spot at the Texans, rather than where he is now, due to the Vikings’ obsession with someone whose five years away from adult diapers. Hagar the Horrible has resorted to alcohol, because he is angry, due toVikings signing Favre.

Not even Asterix can help us against Brett Favre. Or Lorne Greene.

You wanna know what Hulk Hogan’s doing these days? He’s supporting a fellow has been as this picture shows.

Although we all know why Brett went to Minnesota, don’t we?

Finally, I’ll tell you how good Favre is. Two years ago, I won a Fantasy NFL league at Yahoo! I drafted Favre after week 8, when I was 2-6. I won the next nine games, but I had to replace Favre, with Kurt Warner, due to Brett being rubbish. Warner led me through the playoffs, and the championship, whilst Mr. 38 year old at the time, sat on the bench.

This is the end of Part One, I must calm down. Favre-rage is flowing in my veins.

The post The War On Everything part One appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

1. I hope everyone out there had a great Christmas, and everyone have a happy and safe New Years.  Don’t do anything JT wouldn’t do.

2. Today is the day the Detroit Lions can make history by becoming the first ever NFL team to finish the season 0-16.  You guys can do it!  JT’s game-plan: don’t even show up to the game.  But then that last loss wouldn’t really be earned, so what I do suggest is that you play all of your 3rd, 4th & 5th string guys to insure the loss.

3. I got Hinder’s Take It To The Limit CD this week and have to say that it is quite good and you should take a listen to it.

4.  I watched WWE’s Tribute To The Troops last week, and have to say that it was a big pile of meh.  Not that what they are doing is bad, I think it’s a great thing they take the time to go over and entertain our armed forces, but when I watch the program, I feel like I’m just watching WWE pat themselves on the back.

5.  I was watching the new Edge DVD (yes I got it for Christmas ) and the first match is Edge vs. Owen Hart.  It got me thinking, why doesn’t Owen have his own 3 DVD set?

6.  Santino got to main event RAW on Monday.  YAY!  I don’t care if he was pinned by SuperCena, he was in the main event.

7. Good to see Trish Stratus on RAW this past week.

8. So, its Orton vs. HBK vs. JBL vs Chris Jericho to see who will be next to lay down to Cena.  My money’s on JBL, because it’s my pick.

9. ECW was a “Best Of” show this week.  I don’t watch best of shows.

10. The same usual rubbish happened on Impact this week (thanks Legend Killer) and that all I have to say about that.

11. Youmanga is returning,  jobbers and mid carders beware!

12. Is anyone not as interested in the debut of Kizarny as I am?

13. So, is the Great Khali a face now, I really can’t tell?

14. Nothing much more to say about Smackdown except that I thought it was yet another good program overall and I’m looking forward to seeing the Hardy’s vs Edge & Big Show next week.

Well I taken enough of your time this week thanks again for reading and see you next year!

The post Random Randomness appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.