Tag Archive: Santino

  1. WWE RAW 6/9/14 – BWF 6th Birthday Edition!

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    BWF it’s your birthday!  Happy birthday BWF!  Yes, six years ago I started BoredWrestlingFan.com as a site for fans, by fans, and I’ve gotten to do some cool stuff over the years because of it.  Not make any money, mind you, but I got to meet guys like Johnny Gargano and Gregory Iron, get threatened by the late Matt Borne, and talk yoga with Diamond Dallas Page.  I’ve also been stuck doing this RAW review.  Oh well, let’s go.

    30 minutes home, the rest here, blah blah blah just click the link.

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  2. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/29/12

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber.  Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.

    ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown.  Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere.  Orton gets the win.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match.  I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office.  Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.

    WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in.  Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later.  Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d.  R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.

    3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.

    AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…

    BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.

    RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.

    BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS

    We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.

    WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow.  He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match.  Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next.  Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy.  He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago.  He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.

    “THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk

    Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk.  Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match.  Punk and Heyman bail.

    Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ.  Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva.  Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.

    After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki.  Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…

    Recap:

    • Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
    • Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
    • Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
    • Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.

    Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John.  John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.

    After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive.  AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off.  Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone.  AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.

    After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus.  He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE.  He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship.  Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face.  He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…

    “Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus

    Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show.  Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.

    After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night.  Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back.  She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match.  Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH!  Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.

    After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known.  They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.

    After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation.  After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    You know, I gotta admit.  This was something.  For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive.  I give them kudos.

    After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams.  Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio.  Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise.  This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him.  After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.

  3. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/15/2012

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    We open with a recap of last week’s main event, Punk vs. Vince. The match ends with Punk running into the stands and Vince demanding that Punk choose either Cena or Ryback to face at Hell in the Cell, or Vince will choose for him.
    The show begins with the Show – Big Show to be exact. He complains about the “joke” debate he had with Sheamus, demands we watch the recap of him blocking a Brogue Kick, (we do,) and challenges Daniel Bryan to face him in a match, to avenge his 45 second world title reign.

    Backstage, R-Truth tells “Little Jimmy” to pay close attention to the monitor. Bryan refuses to go out. RAW GM AJ Lee orders him to go, Kane-his tag team partner-laughs at the thought of having Bryan’s back. Bryan shouts “NO!” Santino and Ryder shout “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO!” R-Truth shouts “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO,” to Little Jimmy, everyone shouts “YES!” Bryan walks to the ring, and rips up a young fan’s paper “goat face” mask.
     BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – Competitive match that goes more than 45 seconds. Bryan hits multiple high-spots however this ends with a choke-slam and a three-count for the Big Show. After the match, Kane comes out to gloat – at first, but when Show teases a WMD, Kane jumps in and protects Bryan.
    After a break, we have Paul Heyman in the ring with a covered easel. He introduces our WWE champion for the past 330 days, C.M. Punk. Punk refers to J.R. as “good ol’ bucket head,” and makes it clear he doesn’t care who it is…
    “Disrespect me, I put you down.” – C.M. Punk
    Punk goes on to reference last week’s show where “typical Vince,” tried to make the show all about himself (author’s note: as opposed to?) and how Punk slapped him in the face, and how two Superstars – Cena and Ryback – had to save him. He then shows us the Hell in the Cell poster, depicting him as the Devil. Punk claims to be an angel compared to any of us, and while he feels angels and devils “don’t exist,” he is willing to play “make believe” with us “for five minutes,” and refers to Cena and Ryback as “the devil you know,” (Cena) vs. “The devil you don’t know” (Ryback.) Punk teases the reveal of his choice by going over to the easel, then decides we need to learn to be patient, and decides he needs more time. This brings out Vince McMahon to tell him he “blew it,” and by the end of the night, there will be a contract signing where Vince will choose Punk’s challenger.
    “Your fate, at Hell in the Cell, is now in my hands, respect that”- Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
    Now you’re probably wondering “isn’t this the same thing Punk was going to do? Make us wait for the big reveal?” You’re missing the point.
    This way, we’re waiting for VINCE to make the announcement.
    After all, why would we want to focus on the WWE champion all night?
    We go to a promo for the Susan G. Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month, with Layla telling us about losing her mom to breast cancer. If this is true (and I am NOT calling Layla a liar, I’m speaking in terms of work/shoot,) then I have a whole new respect for Layla.
    Back from break, we have a recap of Randy Orton surprising Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown last Friday.
    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS BRODUS CLAY – Del Rio’s aggressiveness completely negates any advantage Clay’s size/strength might give him. Despite some hard shots, Del Rio’s agility and attack on the left arm gets him the victory w/the arm breaker.
    Backstage: Punk is NOT happy with this turn of events. He sends Heyman to challenge Vince to a rematch from last week. Heyman goes, reluctantly.
    Santino Morella and Zack Ryder head to the ring as we go to break.
    PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS CO-BRO (SANTINO/RYDER) – Match is in progress as we come back from break. The match breaks down into a quick spot-fest with Titus O’Neal hitting a D-Lo Brown style power-bomb/spin-buster and getting the tree-count for the PTP.
    After the match, Santino gets a beat down from Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre, now in matching outfits, and officially known as “3MB.”
    After a break, we get a recap of Vince’s ultimatum to Punk.
    Vicki Guerro asks us to “EXCUSE” her, so she can introduce Dolph Ziggler. Dolph cuts a promo on Ryback and demands a shot at Punk. David Otunga comes out, cuts a promo on Ziggler and Vicki, and demands a shot at punk. AJ Lee comes out, and puts them in a handicap match against Ryback.
    RYBACK VS SHO-TUNGA (DOLPH ZIGGLER/DAVID OTUNGA) – Ziggler bails on his partner, and Ryback shell-shocks Otunga for the win.
    What was supposed to happen?
    Backstage; Vince is on the phone when he’s interrupted by “a plague of locusts.” Paul Heyman – plague in question – proposes a rematch with Punk where, if Punk “should happen” to win, he gets to pick his opponent for HitC. Vince counter-offers with the idea of HEYMAN facing Vince in the ring for Punk’s option to choose. Heyman starts whining and Vince shouts him out of the office, because that wouldn’t have been interesting.
    Elsewhere backstage; Matt Stryker requests an apology from team “Hell No,” for their attack on him last Friday on Smackdown, he makes the mistake of using the word “crazy,” and AJ puts him in a match w/Kane.
    After the break, we see video of Cena being named honorary captain of the NY Jets football team. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt anyone.
    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cesaro is getting the reverse booking of Ryback, getting hard fought wins while making his opponents look good. Gabriel gets in a lot of offense, including a sic 450 off the top, but it ends with Cesaro hitting the “Neutralizer” for the three-count.
    After the break, we see Matt Stryker in the ring, and Kane makes his entrance w/pyro.
    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE VS MATT STRYKER – Stryker tries to talk his way out of this match, Kane agrees to “hug it out” w/him. Kan doesn’t let go however, and after a vicious shaking, Stryker takes a choke-slam. Kane decides to “interview” an unconscious Stryker and loudly declares “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”
    We get a recap of the lousy Larry King segment from last week and a promo for “MizTV” after the break.
    We come back to the MizTV segment. I’ll cut to the chase. Miz insults Kofi, Kofi challenges him to a match, Miz says Kofi will never be more than his catch phrase, Kofi jumps Miz and trashes the set.  According to the announce team, AJ has confirmed the match.

    Back from break, we get a recap of the Big Show catching Sheamus by the foot and tossing him out of the ring last week.

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS WADE BARRETT – Hard fought brawl with the pace slowly building while the tide turns back and forth. After the first few minutes, Big Show comes out to ringside as we go to commercial.

    Back from the break, Sheamus and Barrett trade heavy shots and take turns tossing each other around, until Show pulls down the top rope, and Sheamus goes over and out to the floor. Sheamus gets the DQ, and gets in a Brogue kick to Barrett before sending Show out the ring w/a clothesline.

    After a recap of the Vince/Punk face off, we get Vince in the back with Cena. Vince asks Cena about what his doctor said, Cena says it doesn’t matter, and tells Vince it’s up to him.

    Divas Champion Eve comes out to the ring as we go to break.
    DIVAS CHAMPION EVE TORRES VS LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP) – We get a quick recap of how Eve got the title shot at Night Of Champions after Kaitlyn (who Layla was supposed to face) was injured by a “mysterious attacker.” Match is better than you’d expect with the exception of a few unconvincing kicks by Layla, and ends with the ref counting three on Layla despite her foot being on the ropes. Eve knocks it off after the three-count but before the ref sees it.

    We go to a spot with Stephanie McMahon speaking about the WWE’s partnership with NothingButNets.com, a charity for underprivileged youth.

    Backstage; Kane is laughing at Bryan’s misfortune after facing Big Show. Bryan dares Kane to face Big Show next week.
    Rhodes Scholars come out for their tag match, after the break.

    We come back with 3MB rushing the stage at a nearby bar. They act like they’re going to play but security throws them out.

    RHODES SCHOLARS (CODY RHODES/DAMIEN SANDOW) VS PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – We are told the tag team tournament finals will be next week, when Cody and Damien face Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. This is a solid but standard tag with Rhodes and Sandow getting the win.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ VS KOFI KINGSTON – Quick hard fought match ends with Miz taking a SCARY “trouble in paradise” kick to the face. Kofi gets a three-count and Miz gets an open head wound.

    We get an announcement of the Rolling Stones PPV concert sponsored by WWE.

    The show ends with the HitC contract signing. Punk goes off on Vince but Cena interrupts him, and actually hypes the crow into a “FEED ME MORE” chant. The show ends with Vince giving Ryback the shot and Ryback giving Punk the shell-shock.

  4. RYTMANS RAW RECAP AND REVIEW 09/24/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

     

    DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/VICKI) DEF KOFI KINGSTON (w/R-TRUTH and LITTLE JIMMY) – Before the match begins; R-Truth and “little jimmy” get into an argument with Vicki at ringside. Vicki takes a drink in the face and the referee sends her, Truth and “Jimmy” to the back. The match is a high-flying spot-fest with both men taking huge bumps back and forth. Ziggler sends Kofi head-first into the corner, and gets the three-count with the Zig-Zag.

    PRIME TIME PLAYAS DEF RYDER/SANTINO – This is a quick and simple tag match. Titus O’Neal gets a blind tag while Santino sets up the “Cobra” for Darren Young. O’Neal gets the three-count with a spine-buster.

    RYBACK DEF THE MIZ – Miz doesn’t get squashed in the true sense, but the end is a foregone conclusion with Ryback crushing him with the “meat hook.” During the match, a fan tries to run in but is taken out fast by security.

    WADE BARRETT DEF TYSON KIDD – Little more than a squash. Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”

    SHEAMUS, SIN CARA, REY MYSTERIO DEF ALBERTO DEL RIO, DAVID OTUNGA, RICARDO RODRIGUEZ – RAW GM AJ Lee made this match during a backstage segment, explaining to Del Rio and co. that this was their chance to get payback on Sheamus for injuring each of them with the “Brogue Kick.” Match ends with Ricardo taking a 619 and a Swanton from Sin Cara after Sheamus cleans house. Sheamus puts the period on this with a Brogue Kick to Ricardo.
    Side Note: At one point, it looked like Sin Cara tagged Sheamus, but Rey was allowed to come in.
    Was this a botch perhaps?

    EVE/BETH PHEONIX DEF LAYLA/ALICIA FOX – A throwaway tag, with Beth doing most of the work, Eve stealing the win with a neck-breaker, and Layla doing nothing but taking a shot to the face. After the match, Kaitlin comes out, on a crutch with a taped ankle. She says she got a hold of the security camera footage from NOC, and it shows her attacker. You can’t see her face, but you can tell she had blond hair. Eve points the finger at Beth and lays her out with the neck-breaker.

    BRODUS CLAY VS TENSAI – NO CONTEST – This match isn’t much more than trading head-butts and missing splashes until THE BIG SHOW makes his return to RAW. He walks down to the ring, clocks both men with the WMD, and just stands there until they play his music.

    SEGMENTS

    The show opens with Punk and Heyman in the ring, holding the show hostage. Punk sits while Heyman calls last week’s main event a great injustice, showing us footage of Cena getting the three-count on Punk while his foot was clearly on the ropes. Heyman calls out the referee from last week, referee Maddox. He demands an apology and that Maddox resigns on the spot. Maddox is happy to apologize but will not resign. Punk goes off on him.

    “HOW DO YOU WALK DOWN HERE AND PRETEND TO BE A MAN?”-C.M. Punk

    Punk calls him an inexperienced scab, and Heyman offers him a blindfold bearing both the NFL and WWE logos. During his rant, Punk calls AJ Lee an “idiot.”
    AJ Lee skips down to ringside. In the ring, she sends Maddox to the back. Paul assumes she is here to reverse last week’s decision.

    “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me… but mostly you.” AJ Lee.

    AJ Lee tries to shut Punk down, but Punk responds with a demand for respect and a recap of AJ proposing to him last summer. If she agrees to forget about the match last week, he’ll forget about her sending him dirty texts and voice mails, and dares her to tell the audience about their torrid affair.

    “I’m the reason there’s a spring in your step!” – C.M. Punk

    Heyman steps in here with a MARRAGE PROPOSAL! He offers to make AJ the most powerful woman in WWE. He’ll come up with ideas and she can take the credit. AJ responds with a slap to his face.

    I gotta say, I was impressed with AJ here. She was sharing mike time w/two of the best in this business and more than held her own. She came off clever and strong, despite having the least dialogue.

    Backstage: Maddox thanks AJ for sticking up for him and apologizes to her as well. She makes it quite clear that if he messes up like that again he will NEVER work in this industry again. She goes into “evil mode” and accuses him of embarrassing her.

    After recapping the Kane/Bryan-Rhodes/Sandow issue on Smackdown, we go to a restaurant where Daniel Bryan is with his anger management therapist Dr. Shelby. The doc has arranged a role-play tonight where Kane is “Gerald” and he will be Daniel’s waiter for tonight. Kane goes into a monologue about pulling the beard off the cook’s face and deep frying it, sprinkling a little bit of it on every dish he’s served. After the bit, we’re told we can choose the official name for their tag team as part of RAW-active later tonight.

    At this point, I’m declaring this bit dead. They’ve dragged it out as long as they possibly can.

    Promo for the Susan Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month

    Mick Foley is tonight’s special guest! He comes out to address the C.M. Punk issue. The C.M. Punk issue comes down to address Foley. In one of the best promo-duels I’ve ever heard, Foley tells Punk that he needs to disregard Heymans’s advice and think for himself, and he needs to face Cena in a Hell in the Cell match to cement his legacy. Punk takes a shot at the crowd and runs down his list of wins over Cena. He says the WWE universe turned on him, and he doesn’t need to risk his health/body/career for them. He’s held the title for over 300 days and will hold it longer. Foley held the title three times for a total of 29 days. Statistics don’t matter, it’s the moments that we show what we’re made of that counts.

    Back at the restaurant, Kane and Bryan agree they can never be friends, but they sure did like beating down men with chairs last Friday on Smackdown. Kane slams the table repeatedly to bring back the feeling. Bryan responds with a growing “YES!” chant. Once the reach the… conclusion, we cut to MAE YOUNG!

    “I’ll definitely have what they’re having.” – Mae Young.

    The next segment is the Jerry Lawler interview with Michael Cole. He is recuperating just fine but doesn’t even remember the match he wrestled last week. He woke up in the hospital thinking he was in Aruba with his girlfriend. He is leaving his return date up to the doctors.

    Back at the restaurant, Dr. Shelby has convinced Kane to try a salad, and Bryan to try a meatball, as part of an “understanding” exercise. Kane tries some lettuce and responds with a huge belch. Bryan seems to like the meatball at first, but soon winds up barfing in Dr. Shelby’s lap.

    We are given our choices for naming the team.
    #Team Teamwork
    #Team Hell No
    #Team Friendship

    After the break, Kane and Bryan are in the ring waiting the official selection…
    #Team Hell No

    While Bryan/Kane fight their confusion, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow attack. They leave the champs lying and introduce themselves as “Team Rhodes-Scholars.”

    Recap: Heyman proposal to AJ
    Our Main Event of the evening; a John Cena Promo!

    Cena comes out to thank the WWE universe for their support of the Susan G. Komen foundation and Breast Cancer Awareness month. He apologizes for C.M. Punk’s lies and misrepresentations. Punk comes out to call Cena a lying politician. He gives Cena a choice; five seconds to leave the ring, or get hurt badly. Five seconds later, Cena nails Punk in the stomach with a lead pipe.

    Backstage, Punk staggers along the hall, passing Mick Foley. Punk walks back to kick him in the groin, and starts to walk off. He turns to give Foley a piece of his mind, and meets the stare of Ryback.

    All in all, pretty basic RAW, with the tease of a Ryback/Punk match up being the only “big” surprise.

  5. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 07/17/2012

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    We open up with CM Punk opening the show as Cole/King recap his match w/Daniel Bryan @ MiTB.

    “This may sound a little strange coming from someone who’s straight edge, but… I LOVE LAS VEGAS!” – CM Punk

    Punk takes us back to the “pipe bomb” promo of last year and talks about how a guy who looks/talks/acts like him would never have been on the first RAW, let alone champion for eight months. He plans on holding that title next week on the 1000th episode.
    (more…)

  6. Smackdown 07/03/12: Great American Bash, Playah!

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    It’s Tuesday, you know what that means. Wait, it’s Tuesday? What in the blue hell? I’m not even supposed to be working here today! Great American Bash? More like Holla, Holla, Playah, Holla! It’s Teddy Long time, folks. So let’s just make our way down to the ring, shall we? No hopping to it this time.

    Fortunately I got to watch this with my fellow smark “Kasan” on the Stickam account “Threewaydance”. While I generally am at work when it’s live, if you want fellow wrestling fans to break down the action with live, I highly recommend checking them out.


    Flowchart!

    (more…)

  7. Raw is Coming Pain 4-9-2012

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    Last week was perhaps one of the greatest Raws in history. How do you follow it up? I’m very concerned because I believe that the WWE is really good at having a good episode. But a streak of good episodes is something all together different.

    We begin with a promo about the Three Stooges. Johnny Ace comes out with his lackey David Otunga. He said that David Otunga is not here to entertain us. I was so relieved because if he were supposed to entertain us, he’s doing a very bad job. Johnny Ace plays a video package and then introduces Brock Lesnar. I’m a little disappointed they’re letting him speak yet, but ok. Brock doesn’t need Paul Heyman this time. He cut the best promos in the UFC (aside from Chael Sonnen). He was the man you loved to hate and was so good being that villain. Cena slapped Brock and then Brock did the takedown. They brought out ALL the wrestlers. It took the entire roster to separate both men. And Brock bloodied John Cena’s mouth.

    Johnny Ace is humiliating Teddy Long. Please. That man once managed Jim Powers in WCW. He is beyond humiliation. Now Eve wants her some Ace Crusher and he isn’t having it.

    We had a nice match that happened way too early. This crowd was not last week’s crowd but the match was pretty decent. Santino did the face in peril to perfection. And the match was really well put together. Dolph bumped like Shawn Michaels in 1994. Funkasaurus got the pin.

    Santino is looking for the Three Stooges. Why not?

    R-Truth is taking on Cody Rhodes. So apparently he’s doing the Brian Pillman “wear a dress until he wins” thing.

    Sean Hayes was on Raw. That was surreal.

    Yoshi Tatsu got killed by Lord Tensai. At least they aren’t trying to pretend A-Train never existed. Then he did the claw on Yoshi again. It seems they are focused.

    They continued the CM Punk-Jericho feud. Punk cut a promo. It wasn’t up to the caliber of  the usual Punk promo. But it was real and emotional. Then Jericho appeared on the screen.  Then Punk lit up. It was a thing of beauty. There was genuine fire. And then they killed any possible emotion by bringing out Mark Henry. Punk got dq’ed, mostly on purpose. Then Mark Henry did the beatdown followed by Punk getting a beer-bath.

    Zack Ryder got squashed by Alberto del Rio. I do have to say that Ryder did a really great job of bumping for him.

    They did a really cute segment with Will Sasso (Curly) doing Hulk Hogan. Then Kane came out squashed him.

    Brock did an interview. He has always been a great villain wherever he’s gone.

    David Otunga was in a main event (which made me cry a little, to be honest). They just really need to stop pushing guys this big. Lesnar came in and gave Cena a low blow. Then he had the most sadistic smile ever. EVER.

    This was another pretty good Raw. The wrestling wasn’t that great, but the angles were pretty good. They look focused. I want to see Extreme Rules more than I wanted to see Wrestlemania.

  8. Raw is Tired and Cranky 3-12-12

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    Raw may not be tired and cranky, but I sure am. Time changes, days at work and being accused (wrongly) of stealing by one of my heroes.

    A lot of the AIW people I follow on Twitter are saying that Cleveland is a packed house.

    John Cena opens up in a Mark Price jersey channeling old John Cena that we fell in love with.

    Vickie took the mic and cut a great promo. But then again, I’ve never heard a bad Vickie Guerrero promo. Sheamus took on Dolph Ziggler. I’ve used the Mr. Perfect comparison before for Ziggler and I stand by it. It was a long good match.

    I am going to rip the WWE in a future blog several new ones for the abusive storyline. It has no place in wrestling.

    Johnny Ace is doing commentary. It was going to be Santino vs. David Otunga. Then it became Mark Henry. Now we have a squash of the US Champ.

    WWE got publicity. And Eve has large fake breasts. And Zack Ryder is more stupid than anyone I’ve ever met. Beth Phoenix wants to attack Maria M. on Extra. I’m too lazy to google her name to get it right. Miz is on Psych. James Roday is on Raw. Is Psych that much in the toilet?

    We get the return of Brodus Clay. This is the greatest Jinder Mahal match I’ve ever seen. Even WCW’s The Gambler got in more offense.

    HBK comes out to talk to Undertaker. Undertaker takes longer to walk to the ring than Jinder Mahal’s match. They had a really nice exchange, but neither really said anything.

    James Roday made an ass out of himself, but he looked like he was living a life-long dream. Punk and Miz fought a pretty decent match. Then Chris Jericho took the mic and proved why he’s Chris Mother-effin’ Jericho.

    Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry couldn’t quit going to his current barber and had a little boy’s hair cut? That’s what Jack Swagger looks like. However, he and Orton had a pretty good match.

    Then Rock sang. He looks like he enjoys himself out there. And you had to love the Vanilla Ice + Teletubbies reference. Honestly this was one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever seen on wrestling tv in a long time.

    All in all, a good Raw. I would say most things should be watched.

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  9. Raw is HD 3-5-12

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    Yes, we have finally made it to the 21st century with an HD DirecTV receiver. I have no doubt my world will be forever changed, at least wrestling wise.

    We open up the night with Shawn Michaels. I’m torn on this one. I don’t mind Shawn on my tv, but on the other hand, can we let the guy retire? The crowd responded well to him and made him seem important. He asks for Triple H to come to the ring. Shawn went for way too long. What Triple H has perfected very well over the past few years is the art of the focused glare. He does that glare better than most guys cut promos.  Then HBK let everybody know he was going to be the guest referee. Here’s to a 5-minute entrance at Wrestlemania.

    Santino was supposed to fight Jack Swagger. Swagger looked like a 9-year-old who needs a haircut. This wasn’t a match so much as a backdrop for the Teddy Long-Johnny Ace feud. However, Santino pinned Jack Swagger and won the belt. Best I can figure out, Swagger has failed a wellness test. Then Teddy Long had security escort Johnny Ace and his crew out. I believe this is like Vic Mackey suspending Det. McNulty on The Wire. (If you got that reference, you are my favorite person.)

    Rock talked a lot. My wife was happy. Kelly Kelly was nominated for Best Butt-Kicker. And? Eve beat Alicia Fox.

    Eve then tried to kiss Zack Ryder. They are booking Zack Ryder to look stupider than 1990 Sting.

    John Cena did a very solid promo, but it just went too long and sounded way too scripted.

    CM Punk & Sheamus took on Jericho & Bryan. The match was really good. I don’t like the fact the main events laid hands on each other before Wrestlemania. But let’s be honest. Punk and Jericho aren’t going to have the same exact match at Wrestlemania. I liked the finish and the match had nice build-up.

    Rock rambled about Paul Revere.

    Miz was supposed to fight Big Show. I really like how Big Show has evolved as a worker since his days of The Giant in WCW. Cody Rhodes showed footage of WM 18. #$^%@$#$@ That was the last WWE PPV I ever bought.

    Rock rambled more.

    R-Truth came out while talking to Little Jimmy. Kane came out and killed him. I guess Randy Orton is going to fight Kane at Wrestlemania.

    John Cena came out and cut another scripted promo. And then Rock came out. The two had a very nice interaction.

    So this ended up being a decent Raw. I liked the Punk-Sheamus/Bryan-Jericho segment match and the Cena-Rock stuff was good. If you watched it, you don’t feel your time was wasted. If you don’t, you probably didn’t miss anything.

  10. Smackdown 02/21/12

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    Well, it’s Friday, and you know what….. wait… what? It’s Tuesday? Damn! I was really hoping it was the weekend. Sadly, it’s also the Battle of Alberta tonight as my Edmonton Oilers face the Calgary Flames. While I enjoyed the PPV on Sunday, my patience will be short for this episode since I am more inclined to watch hockey. My DVR says that Randy Orton is scheduled to face Daniel Bryan tonight. Really? Alright, let’s just hop to it, shall we?
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