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Hey folks, I’m ThinkSoJoE, and I’ll be your host for our TNA Final Resolution 2009 roundtable.  Ready?  Let’s go!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship match:  AJ Styles (C) vs. Daniels

Drowgoddess: AJ retains after the possible match of the night, and some skullduggery on the part of Daniels. AJ/Daniels can continue to build for a while, and Daniels shouldn’t get the win and title just yet. Additionally, AJ is the ideal face of the company, and during this time of major upheaval, taking the belt off of him would be an incredibly foolish move.

chjpacheco: Daniels wins via DQ

JT: AJ Styles over Daniels

ThinkSoJoE: We’re treading water until Hogan shows up, look for Styles and Daniels to steal the show but for Styles to retain.

Three Degrees of Pain: Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe

Drowgoddess: Desmond Wolfe wins in the third match after considerable treachery. The matches between these two have been fantastic, and the feud should not end yet. Angle pulled out a last-second win at the last ppv, and Wolfe needs one here to keep the momentum and the feud going. A loss here will not hurt Angle at all.

chjpacheco: Wolfe wins only reason i say that is because of Kurt’s neck

JT: Wolfe over Angle

ThinkSoJoE: I think Wolfe will take this one.  I’d actually like to see more of Wolfe vs. Daniels, but I’ll take a continuation of Wolfe/Angle any day.

Last Man Standing Match:  Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

Drowgoddess: I really don’t care about this match at all. I’d like to see Steiner win because Lashley is a complete waste of space. However, until TNA decides what to do about Lashley’s MMA career, they’ll likely try to keep him as strong as possible. Steiner holds the only victory over Lashley in TNA right now, so Lashley will probably win here. Kristal will help.

chjpacheco: Steiner because if Bobby as his wife at ring side she will be a distraction

JT: Bobby Lashley over Scott Steiner

ThinkSoJoE: Lashley is likely going to pick up the win here.  I’d love to see Steiner win, but I just can’t see it happening for some reason.

TNA World Tag Team Championship:  The British Invasion (C) vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Drowgoddess: Oh. Sweet. Mother. Of. God. This match has gotten zero attention, zero hype, and precisely one promo pointing out the lack of attention given the match. The promo war between Alex Shelley and Brutus Magnus could have been GOLD! That’s as may be. Give the MCMG the tag team title run that they have so richly deserved for the past two and a half years, already!

chjpacheco: MCM i hate the british invasion they need NOT to have the belts

JT: Machineguns w win the titles

ThinkSoJoE: You guys are kidding yourselves.  The British Invasion are not losing those titles tonight, not in a completely underhyped match with zero real buildup against a team that, despite quite possibly being the best tag team in the world, hasn’t been pushed like one.

TNA Knockouts Championship:  ODB (C) vs. Tara

Drowgoddess: Tara wins. ODB’s heel turn and recent losses on “iMPACT” have weakened her enough that she would be better as the resentful ex-champ chasing her title.

chjpacheco: Tara its her time to shine

JT: No title change here

ThinkSoJoE: I’ve got to go with Tara.  ODB is definitely in line for a heel turn, and the tactics she’s been using definitely lend themselves toward a title chase.  Tara will overcome ODB and walk out as Knockouts Champion.

Mick Foley & Abyss vs. Raven & Dr. Stevie

Drowgoddess: Raven and Dr. Stevie win. Foley will not be focused on this match, and won’t really care what happens. Abyss takes the fall here.

chjpacheco: Raven and Dr. Stevie i have a feeling that an old friend from ecw is going to show up

JT: Raven and Dr. Stevie win

ThinkSoJoE: Raven and Dr. Stevie are really the first victims of Hogan coming in, aren’t they?  They haven’t gotten a lot of TV time over the past couple of weeks because one of their opponents is too busy worrying about Hogan.  That’s also going to be Foley’s downfall, as he’ll be too concerned about Hogan to worry about actually winning this match.

Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal vs. D’Angelo Dinero, Matt Morgan, Suicide, and Hernandez

Drowgoddess: Hernandez lasts the first five minutes against the entire heel team, but will be eliminated after his team enters. The babyface team will get down to either Matt Morgan or “The Pope.” The heel team will outnumber the last babyface. Either Morgan or “The Pope” gets the win for his team.

chjpacheco: Team 3D, Rhino, Jesse Neal..just cuz they’re better

JT: Morgan and Suicide surivive!

ThinkSoJoE: There’s something strange going on, and I can’t quite figure out what it is.  It’s got to do with Suicide.  I’m picking Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal, simply because I have a feeling in my gut that something will happen with Suicide.

Feast Or Fired:  Samoa Joe, Beer Money Inc., Kevin Nash, Eric Young, and Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Kiyoshi, Homicide, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, and Cody Deaner

Drowgoddess: Samoa Joe gets the X-Division title shot, and is furious. He will go on a rampage over this.
Kiyoshi gets the Tag Team title shot for himself and Bashir against the new champs, the MCMG.
I thought that Rob Terry was in this match, and I was calling him to get the World Heavyweight title shot, but since that doesn’t seem to be true, Robert Roode gets it.
Either Cody Deaner or Eric Young will get fired, but Young will be reinstated by Kevin Nash.

chjpacheco: Cody Deaner gets fired just because he isn’t being used and he sucks feast will be Kevin Nash because he has the money

JT: Eric Young gets fired, James storm gets the title shot, Roode gets the X-division shot and cody deaner gets the tag shot.

ThinkSoJoE: Deaner’s getting fired, I think that’s pretty obvious.  Storm is going to grab the Tag Team Championship shot, Homicide the X division title shot, and finally, Samoa Joe the World Championship shot.  No reason for the picks, just really not sure.

Who’s right?  Who’s wrong?  Find out tonight as TNA Wrestling Presents Final Resolution!

Tonight, Mick Foley hunts down Jeff Jarrett, and we’ll hear more about the 3 Hour Monday Night iMPACT on January 4th.  Plus, TNA will probably brag about buying a billboard in New York City with Hulk Hogan’s mug on it.  All this, and presumably, some wrestling, tonight on iMPACT!

After a half-completed review last week, and a total MIA during Sunday’s ppv, let’s see if your Empress of ”iMPACT” can pull off an entire review! Cross the line, peoples!

I haven’t actually seen the show – in fact, I forgot about it until about 5 minutes ago – so here are the results from TNA’s Turning Point 2009 PPV!

Lackluster Amazing Red def. Homicide to retain the TNA X-Division Championship

ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita def. The Beautiful People (Lacey Von Erich, Velvet Sky, and Madison Rayne) to retain the TNA Knockouts and TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships

The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams) def. The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin) and Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode) in a triple threat tag team match to retain the TNA World Tag Team Championships.

Tara def. Awesome Kong in a Six Sides of Steel match

Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon) and Rhino def. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and D’angelo Dinero.

Scott Steiner def. Bobby Lashley in a No-Disqualification Falls Count Anywhere Match

Kurt Angle def. Desmond Wolfe

AJ Styles def. Daniels and Samoa Joe in a Triple Threat match to retain the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Let’s see if the BWF site can show the Empress of “iMPACT” a bit more love than it did on Thursday night, and actually allow me to post the entirety of this.

Bring some snacks and settle in, peeps!

It’s line-crossing time!!!

Let’s cross the line, peeps!

“Last Chance to Surrender”

Really? To whom? Do I get to choose?

We open with a match! Excellent!

Match #1: Rhino vs. Sting: This match is part of the tournament to determine who joins Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle in the 4-way main event title match at “No Surrender.” Rhino assaults Sting with a barrage of punches and power. Sting gets Rhino in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sting can’t even sit down into it anymore. Rhino gets Sting in a body scissors, but Sting refuses to tap out. Rhino lands some stiff chops on Sting. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino goes for a Gore, but Sting dodges it, and plants Rhino with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting gets the pin and the three count. Sting advances in the tournament. Rhino lays Sting flat with another Gore post-match. The crowd chants “You suck!” Rhino flips off the crowd.

A recap of Rhino’s poat-match assault on Sting. AJ Styles and the TNA trainer see to Sting, and Sting may have cracked ribs.

To the Main Event Mafia locker room. Booker T babbles incoherently. Something about Matt Morgan. Kurt Angle talks about having to fight Morgan. Kip James is trying to put in phone lines. Booker babbles more. He needs to stop. Booker insults Kip, and Kip leaves. Scott Steiner tries to talk down Booker. They continue playing putt-putt golf.

Match #2: Chris Sabin (w/ Alex Shelley) vs. AJ Styles: Some matches, you just have to sit back and enjoy. This is one such match. Just listing the moves doesn’t do it justice anyway. It was counter after counter after counter. AJ wins with the Styles Clash. Alex Shelley was gold on commentary with Tenay and Taz. It’s AJ who advances in the tournament to join the main event at the ppv. Sabin looked awesome in th ematch though. Not that I’m biased or anything….

To the back! Lauren talks to Hernandez about fighting Homicide in the tournament. Eric Young interrupts them. He tells Hernandez that his dreams were crushed, that people like them don’t get a fair shake. Young is going to open Hernandez’s eyes, that he is his brother.

Daniels, the Number One Contender to the X-Division title, hits the ring, and he has a mike. He calls out X-Division Champion Samoa Joe. I love Joe’s new music, even though it isn’t really new. Daniels remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X-Division and three men: Samoa Joe, Daniels, and AJ Styles. We remember that too, Daniels! The three of them became like family. “Unbreakable,” 2005. The first and only time that the X-Division title was defended in the main event of a TNA ppv. The match involved those three, and that night set everything  for TNA at the highest level. Joe is bored and tries to leave, but Daniels stops him. Daniels says that the MEM is afraid of Joe. Joe took the money from the MEM and threw away his friendships and his integrity. Daniels asks how Joe’s wife and son can respect him. Joe snaps and throws Daniels over in a brutal suplex.

To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan says that he and Kurt Angle have each other’s backs, and all is great with them.

Match #3: Suicide vs. Doug Williams: This is the third tournament match to determine who gets in the main event title match at the ppv. Doug Williams goes for power and technical mat work. Suicide counters with a more high-flying style. Poor Williams didn’t even get an entrance. Lots of “USA!” chants at Williams. Williams overpowers Suicide, chokes him in the ropes, and otherwise tries to ground the masked man. A snap suplex gets Williams a two-count. Suicide fights back with punches, and lands a dropkick on Williams. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes down and Suicide hits a flying cross body on him. Dinero’s distraction allows Williams to land the Chaos Theory suplex on Suicide and get the pin and win. Doug Williams advances.

To the back! Jeremy Borash talks to Sting about his injured ribs, and Sting not being in his prime. Sting knows that this is his last chance, and he’s going to take it.

The Beautiful People sit on their thrones backstage.

To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People, who don’t care who Madison Rayne’s tag team partner is next week. They’re going to beat Madison Rayne with the ugly stick.

Match #4: Sojourner Bolt and Hamada vs. Christy Hemme and Tara: Tara and Hamada start. The action between Hamada and Tara is great! Hamada tags in Bolt, and Tara throws her around a bit before tagging in Hemme. Hemme gets a two-count on Bolt, and Hamada tags in. We cut to a commercial break. When we return, Bolt and Hemme are in. Tara tags in, and flattens Bolt with a clothesline. Tara gets the win with the Widow’s Peak. Post-match, Hamada plants Bolt with the Hamada Driver and leaves. Tara and Christy Hemme win.

To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about Matt Morgan and mind games. Morgan comes up and claims that at the ppv, the world title match will come down to Morgan and Angle, and there will be no questions asked.

A video package detailing the history of LAX airs. This is the end of LAX. That makes me sad. We never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we should have gotten.

Match #5: Homicide vs. Hernandez: This is the last qualifying match for the World title match at the ppv. They shake hands and hug at the start. Hernandez powers down Homicide. Hernandez dominates the match, but Homicide counters with high-flying and scores a two-count. Hernandez recovers and dominates again. Hernandez gets the win after a hugely impressive slam. Homicide looks unhappy.

To the back! Lauren talks to the British Invasion. Doug Williams says that he will take on AJ alone, and talks him up with respect.

To the back! JB talks with AJ Styles about his upcoming match. AJ is rising from the ashes.

Kurt Angle comes out to commentary.

Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams: This match determines one of the two competitors in the ppv main event match. This was another really good match that I just had to sit back and enjoy. Very technically sound. AJ wins after his reverse DDT from the top rope. Really good work.

To the back! Team 3D has Jesse Neal’s back.

Match #7: Hernandez vs. Sting: Not much here, as Homicide ran in and assaulted Sting in the ribs with a bat. Hernandez is disqualified, and Sting gets the win. Homicide is unmasked as Eric Young. Hernandez is very unhappy.

Hernandez is in the ring with the mic, and gets jumped by The British Invasion, followed shortly by the entirety of World Elite. AJ Styles rushes the ring, followed by Beer Money and Team 3D. Major brawling ensues. Team 3D and the audience yell about tables. JT is not here to get them. Bashir is about to go through a table when Booker T and Scott Steiner run down and help the heels turn the tide in their favor. The faces get demolished, and the MEM music plays.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow. Two great wrestling matches, one really good wrestling match, and a blistering Daniels promo. Chris Sabin looked awesome, even in defeat, and should call me at once. Alex Shelley was tremendous on commentary. Tara and Hamada can really go, and would have a great series of matches if allowed. Christy Hemme still can’t wrestle, and Sojourner Bolt is just there. AJ Styles lived up to his moniker again, and by all rights, should win at the ppv. He probably won’t, but he should. Doug Williams reminded everyone just how good he really is. Joe and Daniels built beautifully to their ppv match. Matt Morgan’s interaction with Kurt Angle was great. This was a very solid “Impact,” and I’m stoked about ordering the ppv, as well as next week’s show.

Check back with us at BWF for all your wrestling goodness!

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

I’ve been neglecting my duties as host of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts as of late, but I’m going to make a quick go at it this week.

We just launched all new forums here at BoredWrestlingFan (and I will fix any remaining links to the old forums soon), and we kicked them off in grand fashion with a discussion of this past Thursday’s iMPACT!  Big things are brewing in TNA, with Jeff Jarrett being sent home by Dixie Carter and a couple of his buddies being sent to the unemployment line.  This could be the spark that sets off the powder keg that is professional wrestling.  A hot angle from a fresh writing staff can be the catalyst TNA needs to make themselves truly look like a credible threat to the WWE – which, in turn, will cause WWE to fight back.  That’s what started the Attitude Era, competition from WCW.

Speaking of WCW, Kevin Nash used to work there.  So did Rey Mysterio.  Now they work for TNA and WWE, respectively.  Mysterio mentioned Nash by name last night on SmackDown.  Now, if I were Mr. McMahon, even if I am friends with Nash, I’m not going to let Mysterio mention Nash by name when he works for TNA, no matter how minuscule of a threat I thought they were.  People who aren’t aware of the TNA product could hear Nash’s name, remember him from WCW (or even his last WWE run), think, “I wonder what ever happened to that guy,” look him up on the internet, and see that he’s working in TNA, as part of a group with other well known wrestling names like Booker T, Scott Steiner, and Kurt Angle, and decide to tune in next Thursday night.  Then again, maybe Mr. McMahon wants to help the competition, maybe he thinks what I think – that strong competition will inspire the WWE product to become much better.

This is the last time these names will be typed by me here on BWF – Jeremy Piven & Dr. Ken.  I wish I had one of those Men In Black style mind wipe devices and could erase this past Monday’s RAW from my memory.  If this week’s show sucks nearly as bad as the last one, I might have to stop watching RAW entirely.

One of these days I’ll start watching ECW again.  It’s not that it’s a bad show, I just don’t get around to watching it.  This past Tuesday I forgot to set my DVR when I went to see “Funny People” starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen.  A lot of dick and fart jokes, but it wasn’t bad.

WWE MSG Classics used to be a good show, but then they started showing the same 6 episodes over and over and over again.

I got nothing else, really.  Stay tuned, somebody might do a Random Randomness at some point (maybe), and tharvey1′s WWE Superstars review will be up sometime tomorrow-ish (he’s running a bit late this week, but we forgive him.)

It’s line-crossing time!