Tag Archive: Shell Shock

  1. RYTMAN’S RAW RECAP/REVIEW – 04/08/2013

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    Let’s do something a little different.  Instead of going segment by segment, I’m going to summarize each storyline in regards to how it was played out on the show, and offer my comments where I feel the need.

    1.) CENA VS. MARK HENRY: THE RISE OF RYBACK – So we kicked off RAW with a word from our new WWE champion, John Cena.  Jersey is NOT part of the CE-Nation, and their response makes it clear.  Cena plays off the crowd’s hostility by joking about all the great things that come with being champ, like the applause.  Cena offers to dance for the crowd, using this as context for teasing a “heel-turn,” and offers a title shot to whoever wants one tonight.  Mark Henry comes out to take him up on it.  Booker T comes out and says Henry has to beat Cena in a match to get a title shot.

    Let’s fast forward to our main event, Cena vs. Henry.  Less than a minute in, it spills out of the ring to the outside.  Both men tease a table spot (which is a whole friggin thing in itself we’ll get to.) Henry sends Cena into the post.  Cena whips Henry into the stairs AND GETS THE WIN BY COUNT OUT.  OUR “MAIN EVENT” BARELY WENT FIVE MINUTES AND MORE THAN THREE SPOTS!!!

    Henry responds to this by laying out Cena (much to the crowds’ delight,) and hoisting the belt up.  Ryback comes out and runs off Henry.  Ryback glares at Cena and the crowd gets excited.  Ryback helps Cena up and the crowd gets less excited.  Ryback gets a “FEED ME MORE,” chant going and CENA TAKES A CLOTHESLINE!  Ryback gives the champ the Shell-shock and holds the belt up to a cheering crowd as RAW ends.

    Rytman Remarks: So, Henry, the only established heel at Wrestlemania who won a singles match, has to beat Cena in a non-title match, to get a title shot?

    Fine

    Booker T, General Manager of Smackdown, can dictate who gets WWE title shots on RAW?

    Fine

    The match itself can’t have more than five spots and go more than five minutes?

    Okay, Fine.

    BUT NOW YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE THE PUSH TO THE GUY YOU BOOKED TO CHOKE IN EVERY BIG MATCH YOU PUT HIM IN?  GIVING HENRY A SHOT WOULD BRING ABOUT THE END OF ALL LIFE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING!?

    I seriously don’t know why I’m still watching this crap.

    2.) ORTON/SHEAMUS BOTH WANT BIG SHOW – Orton, backstage in Vicki’s office w/her and Brad Maddox, demands a match w/Big Show, wanting payback for what happened at Mania.  “Briki” (Brad and Vicki) agrees, reminding Sheamus he’d owe them a big favor for this.

    Later in the show, Randy Orton goes to Booker T, asking HIM for a shot at big show, saying it was his mistake to trust big show, and wants to make good on it.  When Booker tells him Vicki already made the match w/Sheamus, he brown-noses Booker into over-ruling Vicki, on the grounds he’s a GM, and she’s a Managing Supervisor.  Booker decides to make it happen.

    Later, we get a pre-recorded interview from Natalya with Big Show.  Show blames his team-mates for what happened, saying they turned on him by not giving him the hot tag.  Show says from now on, he’s all about the Big Show.

    Later in the show, both Orton and Sheamus came out to the ring and asked the crowd who’d they like to see kick Big Show’s ass.  Cole tells us to use the WWE ACTIVE APP and vote on Twitter for who we want.  One commercial break later, Booker and Vicki come out together on the same page, making a Sheamus vs. Orton match w/the winner getting Big Show, making the Twitter thing totally irrelevant.

    The match itself is hard fought, and both men hit their major spots, but it ends with the Big Show taking matters into his own hands.  He tosses Sheamus away like nothing and BRUTALIZES Randy Orton for about twenty minutes.  Orton is pounded on, and tossed around like a sack of rag-dolls.  Show tosses Orton hard over the announce table into the seats, and then tosses the seats all over the place.  Show leaves Orton broken on the ground, and walks off to a hero’s reception from the crowd. (This crowd was another whole thing we’ll get to.)

    Rytman Remarks: Orton and Randy are fighting over who gets to beat up the guy they didn’t trust in the first place, but teamed up with anyway and then lost the match because they didn’t tag him, and he got mad and punched them out.  Gotcha! 

    The interesting thing is, during the interview with Natalya, Show played hurt by his team not trusting him, like he really wanted to be part of something, and pulled it off pretty damn well.  I actually felt bad for him.    

     3.) ALBERTO DEL RIO VS JACK SWAGGER & ZEB COULTER: YOUR WINNER, DOLPH ZIGGLER! – World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez,) faced Swagger in a handicap match w/Zeb Coulter as Swagger’s partner.  Before the match, Zeb took the mike and actually pleaded with the crowd for their support.  He even got a small “USA” chant going.  The match was primarily Del Rio and Swagger with Zeb hanging back on the outside.  Del Rio managed to win it, but Swagger had worked the ankle/leg the whole match and Del Rio had ringside attendants looking at him.

    Cue Dolph Ziggler.

    Dolph chose that moment to Cash in his MiTB briefcase on Del Rio.  Del Rio managed to muster up enough offense to get Ziggler in the Cross-Arm-Breaker.  Ziggler escaped by working the injured ankle and won with a Zig-Zag for the three.  Later in the show, Ziggler is interviewed, saying it’s “about damn time” this happened.

    Rytman Remarks: during the whole match, the crowd chanted “we want Ziggler,” until he finally came out.  I’m thinking Del Rio and Swagger are both gonna sit out a few shows.

     4.) UNDERTAKER PROMO: IN THE SIGHTS OF THE SHIELD – Undertaker comes out to do a promo.  He talks about dedicating his win to Paul Bearer…

    SIERRA, HOTEL, INDIA, ECHO, LIMA, DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD

    The Shield makes their way towards the Dead-man.  They’ve got Taker surrounded when the pyro goes off and Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) run out to offer back up.  The Shield calls it a night and head off.

    Rytman Remarks: A feud w/the Undertaker to set up a program with the tag team champions?  I like it, which is why it won’t happen.

     5.) FAHHHHN-DAHHHN-GO-OW! – So Fandango got a rematch with Kofi Kingston, from last month when he was supposed to debut on RAW.  The match goes less than ten minutes before Chris Jericho runs out and beats down Fandango, who gets the win by DQ.  After the match, Fandango still has enough in him to take a mike and do the bit with his name.

    Rytman Remark: I’ll give the guy credit for sticking with it, but I’m thinking the last dance is coming up soon.

    6.) “A BAD NIGHT FOR PAUL HEYMAN GUYS.” – Paul Heyman gets interviewed about how bad Wrestlemania went for him.  Heyman points out that Triple H finished the night with a broken (which we saw earlier in an exclusive,) arm and Shawn Michaels got his face smashed in.  He says Lesnar is here and ready to fight, but not for free.  He tells us C.M. Punk will speak for himself… next week, swerving the disappointed crowd.

    Now let’s look at the results from the few “filler” matches…

    BIG E. LANGSTON DEF DANIEL BRYAN – High point was Big E. tossing Bryan over the top rope onto Kane.

    Rytman Remark: Would’ve made sense to book this match BEFORE MANIA!

    WADE BARRETT DEF. THE MIZ – BARRETT NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION

    Rytman Remark: Decent match but I’m not expecting Barrett’s stock to skyrocket.  There was a noticeable “botch” when Miz went for the knee-drop/neck-breaker combo and Barrett dropped too soon. (Michael Cole, at ringside, tried to sell it as a “sit-out” attempt by Barrett.)

    R-TRUTH, RYDER, AND SANTINO MORELLA DEF 3MB

    RR; Went maybe seven minutes and was more of an actual match then the main event.

    TONS OF FUNK/THE FUNKADAYCTALS DEF THE BELLA SISTERS/TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS

    RR; High point was Brie/Nikki giving “Sweet T” a double butt-bump to the head.

    A few other points of interest…

    One guy in the crowd managed to get his “WE WANT PAGE” sign on camera almost all night.  Apparently, we can’t get her jobbing out to AJ and the Bella Sisters fast enough.

    There seemed to be a contract out on the announcers table tonight.  It wound up collateral damage in almost every brawl tonight.  (Big Show’s rampage, Jericho’s payback, maybe during Del Rio Swagger,) In the Main Event, Cena and Henry both teased putting each other through it but never came across.

    And now, we get to the real stars of this show…

    This fucking crowd

    Credit where it’s due, these folks decided they were going to have some kind of fun at this show and they did, to the detriment of the WWE.  Some of their highlights included “singing along” to Fandango’s music and cheering for RVD, Randy Savage, and anyone/thing other than Sheamus or Orton during their match.

    Overall, this was a weird RAW.  It had some high points, but it wasn’t the best follow-up to a lackluster Mania.

    Smackdown, the ball’s in your court.

  3. RYTMAN’S REVIEW: WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW 11/26/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF. TITUS O’NEIL – Total domination by Ryback, until Darien Young interfered by grabbing Ryback’s ankle.  O’Neil hit one inverted Power Bomb for a brief one-count. Still, the match ended the same way all Ryback matches end; power-bomb, shell-shock, three-count.

    After the match, Ryback refused to leave the ring until he got his hands on WWE Heavyweight Champion C.M. Punk, Paul Heyman, or the three men who jumped him two days in a row.  A line of security guards come-out, but Ryback tossed the biggest one first, and the rest scattered.

    RAW Supervisor Vicki Guerro came out to order him out of the ring, Ryback told her to shut up (which won him a ton of new fans,) and demanded revenge.  Vicki gave him a match against Punk at TLC.  Ryback demanded that it be made a TLC match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.) Vicki agreed, and Ryback left the ring.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. THE GREAT KAHLI – This match was set up with a pre-recorded backstage segment, where Rosa Mendes demanded an apology from Hornswoggle, for squirting water in her face, with trick flowers last week.  Hornswoggle called her conceited, and Alberto Del Rio stepped in, offering to beat him up.  Kahli stepped in to scare him off.  Kahli actually dominates most of the match, but a distraction by Roberto Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) sets up Kahli for an attack from behind.  Del Rio hits the arm-bar for a win by submission.

    TAMINA DEF. ALICIA FOX – Basically, Tamina slaps Alicia around and ends this with a splash of the top, for a three-count.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF. TENSAI – Wade Barrett, Kofi’s next challenger, Wade Barrett joins the commentary team at ringside.  Tensai’s size advantage gives him an edge for a good amount of time, but Kofi hits a big kick and a flying body press for the three-count.

    After the match, Barrett walked into the ring, gave Kofi the title belt, and then walked off without incident.

    REY MYSTERIO DEF. WWE TAG-TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN – One of the best matches on TV this year.  Both men relied on their agility and quick last-second escapes and counters to keep the tide turning back and forth.  Bryan focused on beat-downs and wearing down the arm, Mysterio countered with bursts of fast-paced offense.  Match ends with a 619/Dropping a Dime combo by Mysterio for a pin on Bryan.

    JOHN CENA DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER – This match was set up after a segment with Vicki Guerro offering Cena and AJ matching bathrobes (see below.) People, who criticize Cena for his “five moves of doom,” need to acknowledge Ziggler does the same thing (if not everybody in WWE,).  That said, this was a good, solid match.  One point of contention is Cena NO-SELLING the “bad knee,” until a specific spot at the end.  Going for the “five knuckle shuffle,” Cena stumbles out of the ring, the ref and another WWE official check to see if he can continue, while Ziggler exposes a turnbuckle.  AJ runs out to stop him and Vicki runs out to pull AJ off the ring.  The ladies have a stare-down while Ziggler goes after Cena with his MiTB briefcase.  Cena ducks Ziggler’s swing and hooks the “AA,” for a three-count.  Cena celebrates with AJ, FORGETTING ALL ABOUT THE BAD KNEE.

    SHEAMUS DEF. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO – This was a straight up brawl between two big workhorses.  Highlight of the match is Cesaro catching Sheamus and hoisting him up, and dropping him hard.  Picture a combo of Lex Luger’s “torture rack” and Ryback’s “Shell-Shock.” Match ends with Sheamus escaping the “neutralizer” with a back-drop and a Brogue-kick to Cesaro.  Cesaro goes out to the floor and gets counted out.

    World Heavyweight Champion Big Show comes out with a chair.  Sheamus grabs the mike and tells Big Show he will be happy to retire him at TLC, and just how barbaric he can be.  Show responds by destroying the chair with his bare hands.

    DAMIEN SANDOW DEF. ZACK RYDER – Not much more than filler.  Ryder had a decent showing here, but the match ends with Sandow using his neck-breaker variant to get the three-count.

    Side Note: Ring announcer Justin Roberts waited for Zack Ryder to get in the ring before announcing him, Michael Cole slipped back into “heel” mode to give him grief about it.

    WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION C.M. PUNK DEF. KANE – Our Main Event for the evening.  And yes, this did take the show over three hours, again.  There is a weird spot in the match when Punk slides to the outside, and starts favoring his right knee.  Kane was as close to Punk as THESEWORDSARETOEACHOTHER but did NOTHING to him.  Kane let Punk slide back in and pull him neck first into the top rope.  Now here’s the weird thing, the announcers (Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler,) never acknowledged ANY of this, even though Punk was right in front of the camera, limping and acting like he was hurt for real the whole time.  It’s weird because this is, to my understanding, standard procedure when someone gets legit hurt during a match, gloss over it, don’t call it, and keep the show going.  So, I have to wonder if Punk really was hurt.  The match ended when the three NXT talents, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Reigns (now called “The Shield”) came out to distract Kane.  Punk hit the GTS and got the three.

    After the match, the Shield teased going for Punk, but pilled on Kane.  Daniel Bryan tried to make the save, but got beat down.  Ryback charged down and took over on the Shield.  Punk took a cheap shot at Ryback, but Ryback caught him.  Ryback went for a power-bomb, but Reigns took him down with a spear.  Monday Night RAW ends with C.M. Punk holding his belt in the air; and his foot on Ryback’s chest; for the second time in a week.

     

    ANGLES AND SEGMENTS

    1.) RYBACK/VICKI – Our first interview segment would have to be Vicki Guerro trying to talk Ryback out of the ring after his match (setting up his match w/Punk at TLC.) Not a shining moment for either one of them.  Huge gaps between the dialogue and you could tell they didn’t talk over each other when they were supposed to.  Seriously, don’t give Ryback more lines than he needs.

    2.) Backstage: Hornswoggle, Rosa, Del Rio, and KHALI – Basic segment just to set up their match, seemed pretty damn elaborate for a match that wasn’t anything special.

    3.) GM’S OFFICE: VICKI, HEYMAN, PUNK – Punk came in to complain about having to face Ryback, Heyman suggested Vicki was trying to compensate for her bias against Cena and AJ, and Vicki flat out accused Punk of calling in the “Shield” to cover his ass.  Vicki sets up a match between Punk and the winner of a RAW-active Twitter Poll, #WWEKane or #WWEBryan (see above.) Interesting to see Punk get the shaft from a “fellow” heel; it gives Vicki an extra character dimension, and it makes you wonder what it is EVERYBODY hates about Punk.

    4.) THE SHEILD SPEAKS – We see a pre-recorded interview with Michael Cole and the three NXT talents who’ve taken it on themselves to attack Ryback twice, (Ambrose, Rollin, and Reigns.) They deny any affiliation with C.M. Punk, and claim they were acting against injustice.  They accused WWE of being an elaborate popularity contest, and stated that C.M. Punk had every right to celebrate his One Year anniversary as champion, arguing they would’ve done the same thing if Ryback or Cena had been champion and Punk tried to disrupt them.  They declared themselves The Shield and cut the interview short.  Interesting aspect; as the Shield’s mission statement seems to have themes in common with the IWC’s constant complaints about WWE.

    5.)  VICKI, CENA, AJ, AND ZIGGLER – Basically, Cena comes out to address the “kiss” from last week.  Vicki comes out to trash AJ and present Cena with a “gift,” of matching bathrobes and to warn Cena about the inevitable implosion.  She points out AJ’s relationship drama with Punk/Bryan and Kane.  AJ comes out to tell off Vicki and blatantly shoves her attraction to Cena in everyone’s face.  Ziggler comes out to remind everyone that he took out Cena last week in the locker room, and Cena jumped him from behind on Smackdown.  Cena tries to go after him, but Vicki orders him to stop and makes a match between Ziggler and Cena later that night.  The match ends with Cena getting the win. CAN WE END THIS NOW!? I am PRAYING that this is the end of the AJ “scandal,” and I will spend the rest of my life wondering WTF this was supposed to accomplish.

    On paper, this was a good RAW, with a lot more actual wrestling and a lot of solid match-ups, however the angle segments really weighted down the show.

  4. RYTMAN’S REVIEW: RAW 11/19/2012

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    Last night’s RAW was for me, a mixed bag.  There were low-points, painful ones at that, but there were one or two points where I could see a glimmer of hope.

    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF TENSAI – Ryback in the ring, cuts a decent promo demanding WWE champ C.M. Punk and the three NXT talents who jumped him at Survivor Series come out to face him or he tears the place down.  Vicki Guerro, RAW Supervising Manager, came out to berate Ryback for blowing two title shots and warn him not to cause trouble or he would face a fine/suspension.  She sends out Tensai to see “just how big” his appetite is.  Match ends just how you’d expect it.  Ryback puts Tensai down with the Shell-Shock for a pin.

    WADE BARRETT DEF WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON – Before the match, we see Wade Barrett cutting a backstage promo from last night’s survivor series, saying how he’s beaten Kofi for the Intercontinental title before and Kofi holding the title was a disgrace to WWE.  Barrett dominates the match with a combo of holds and brawling, as well as focusing on an eye injury to Kofi.  Kofi gets in a big flurry of offense but Barrett rakes his eye on the rope and ends it with the “Bull-Hammer Elbow.”

    KAITLYN DEF AKSANA – Aksana actually tries actual “wrestling” for once.  She starts by faking a walk-out to lure Kaitlyn into a clothesline and working over the left arm.  Sloppy, but it’s an “improvement.” Kaitlyn gorilla-presses her and drops her stomach first into her knee for a three-count.

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF BRODUS CLAY – Despite R-Truth on commentary and the Funkadactyls at ringside, Cesaro gets the pin with the “Neutralizer.”

    RANDY ORTON DEF ALBERTO DEL RIO (2 FALLS OUT OF 3) – The first fall starts out as a basic “back and forth,” until Orton forces Del Rio outside.  Del Rio pulls Orton, shoulder first into the ring-rope, then into the corner post.  When he refuses to let up the assault on the arm, Orton gets the win by DQ.  The second fall has Orton making the comeback while favoring the left arm, but Del Rio locks in the arm-bar and Orton has to tap out.  Third fall has Del Rio attacking the bad arm, while Orton tries to fight back.  Ricardo Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) gets ejected for grabbing Orton’s ankle, and after missing an inziguri, Orton gets the pin with an RKO out of nowhere.

    GREAT KAHLI DEF PRIMO/EPICO w/ROSA MENDES – Hornswoggle comes out to squirt Rosa in the face with water from a trick bouquet of flowers while Kahli destroys Mo/Co.  I put more effort into that sentence than anybody put into that match.

    THE MIZ DEF DAVID OTUNGA – Very basic, by-the-numbers match; Otunga gets to look good here, dominating Miz with clotheslines and chin-locks, but Miz gets in the “Skull-Crushing-Finale,” for the inevitable three-count.

    SHEAMUS DEF DAMIAN SANDOW – Sheamus comes out with chair in hand.  He cuts a promo recapping his feud with World Heavyweight Champion the Big Show and makes note that he is “not smiling anymore.”  Big Show comes out, and they start shouting over each other.  Show calls Sheamus a “barbarian,” and Sandow makes his entrance.  Match builds from a slow pace, starting out with Sandow trying to avoid Sheamus for the first few minutes.  First high-spot is Sheamus tossing Sandow out by the beard.  Sandow actually dominates the match from that point on, beating Sheamus down and trying to wear him out.  Sandow takes too long setting up the “elbow of distain” and Sheamus hooks in a side-back-breaker.  Sheamus hits a flying shoulder block, the “White Noise,” and the Brogue-kick for a three-count.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO (DANIEL BRYAN AND KANE) VS SINSTERIO (SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO: NO CONTEST – The real story here is the absolute TRAIN WRECK of the Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neal/Darren Young) doing commentary with Cole/Lawler.  Eventually they all give up and settle for entertaining each other with jokes and one-liners.  Ironically, the PTP’s come off as funny and charismatic (which is bad because they’re heels.)  Match ends when the PTP’s rush the ring, and get beat down by both other teams.

     MAJOR STORYLINES

    1. THE AJ “SCANDAL” – So this nonsense begins with Vicki bringing out two people to the ring, one a waitress claiming AJ and Cena were getting “friendly” with each other in a restaurant, and the other was a dude implying he had pics of them “doing it” in the back of a car.  AJ came out to confront her, followed by John Cena, who accused Vicki of harassing people just to get attention.  He decided to show her how it’s done and planted a kiss on AJ.  He turned to Vicki but AJ grabbed him and JUMPED HIM LIKE A FACE HUGGER IN ALIENS!  The kiss went well over a minute while Vicki threw a tantrum. (Why?) Ziggler runs out and jumps Cena.  Cena tries to give Ziggler the “Attitude Adjustment,” Ziggler escapes, and Cena goes after him, twisting his left knee in the process.

    We see Cena get his knee taped up backstage.

    AJ goes to Vicki, asking what she plans to do about it.  Vicki, flanked by Tamina Snuka, says nothing.  AJ says she will.

    AJ heads for the locker room with Layla trying to talk her out of it.  AJ blows her off and goes in to confront Ziggler.  Ziggler gives her a verbal dressing down (VERBAL you pervs,) and AJ goes off on him.  Cena pulls her off and Ziggler jumps him.  The two men go crashing into a toilet stall, and Ziggler wails away on Cena until Titus pulls him off.  Ziggler gets in one last shot to Cena’s bad knee.

    Okay….

    1. Why would Vicki and Ziggler be upset about this?  Didn’t Cena and AJ CONFIRM everything they were being accused of?  And let’s say they did…

    2. SO PHKING WHAT!? What does this prove? Two single, consenting adults have decided to date, WHAT HAS VICKI “WON?”

    Here’s the thing, when Vicki started this crap, it made SOME sense.  AJ was RAW GM; Vicki wanted her out and wanted her job.  AJ QUIT trying to protect John.  VICKI GOT THE JOB (sort off.) WHY IS THIS STILL A THING? Vicki has won.  There is no reason, story-line, OR OTHERWISE for Vicki to keep this up.

    Now before you argue “she wants to drive AJ out of WWE,” let me remind you, AJ WAS ON HER WAY OUT WHEN THIS STARTED! VICKI HIRED HER BACK! Vicki could’ve been free of AJ weeks ago.  You could say Vicki is jealous of AJ, and wants to torture her, AND YOU WOULD BE GIVING HER AN ACTUAL MOTIVE! SOMETHING WWE DID NOT DO!

    Side Note: I don’t know if Cena is legit hurt or it’s just an angle, but it looks like in either scenario, he’s out of the title picture.

    2. THE CELEBRATION OF C.M. PUNK – The storyline with the least attention had the best payoff.  We begin with Heyman at the top of the show holding up a poster of Punk and planning a big celebration for the champ.  Punk comes out to hear his praises.  Matt Stryker tries to get an interview and Punk threatens him.  Heyman tries to smooth things over saying tonight is a celebration and everyone is invited, including Ryback.

    We get short backstage segments featuring Heyman abusing crew members while planning the party, including one where Heyman demands “BALLOONS” manically, and one where he assures Punk nothing will ruin their celebration.

    The final segment of the evening has Heyman in the ring.  He calls the audience on the hypocrisy of chanting “ECW” when they see him, and booing him for his joke at Lawler’s expense last week.  They say they want the Attitude era back, but get all upset when they get a taste of it.  Punk comes out and points out to us that he did something Brett Hart, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, The Undertaker, and The Rock couldn’t do, hold the WWE title for one calendar year. We get a video package of Punk’s year-long reign, followed by Heyman and Punk running down all the great stars that couldn’t beat Punk and congratulating each other.

    Ryback comes out, but gets jumped by NXT talents Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reins.  Ryback tries to fight them off, but they end up putting him through an announce table, just like at Survivor Series.  RAW ends with the champ, cautiously, standing with one foot on Ryback and his title in the air.

    Okay, LOVING IT! This is the first RAW this year that ends with Punk standing tall over a fallen enemy.  I’m hoping this leads to a Punk-led stable of young talent rallying to their hero’s side and becoming a major force in WWE. (Of course, WWE will most likely push this as a bunch of punks trying to get attention and Punk will get written into a feud with Hornswoggle.) Nonetheless, this is the first time in months that WWE has tried to make Punk look “relatively” good on television.  It is a welcome change.

    Overall, if this RAW had dropped the AJ scandal B.S. it would’ve been the strongest RAW in a long time.  We got a LOT of actual wrestling where most people looked strong even in defeat.

    So, while I’m not in LOVE with the product right now, this has been a step in the right direction.

  5. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/29/12

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber.  Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.

    ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown.  Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere.  Orton gets the win.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match.  I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office.  Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.

    WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in.  Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later.  Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d.  R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.

    3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.

    AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…

    BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.

    RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.

    BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS

    We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.

    WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow.  He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match.  Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next.  Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy.  He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago.  He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.

    “THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk

    Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk.  Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match.  Punk and Heyman bail.

    Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ.  Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva.  Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.

    After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki.  Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…

    Recap:

    • Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
    • Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
    • Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
    • Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.

    Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John.  John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.

    After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive.  AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off.  Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone.  AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.

    After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus.  He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE.  He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship.  Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face.  He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…

    “Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus

    Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show.  Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.

    After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night.  Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back.  She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match.  Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH!  Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.

    After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known.  They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.

    After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation.  After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    You know, I gotta admit.  This was something.  For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive.  I give them kudos.

    After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams.  Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio.  Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise.  This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him.  After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.

  6. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/22/12

    3 Comments

    SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO VS RHODES SCHOLARS – Right off the bat, we get into the action. As Rey makes his way out, we’re told by Michael Cole that RAW GM AJ Lee has been called to an emergency meeting at WWE HQ. Sandow and Rhodes win when Sandow blocks the ref from a three count. Sandow and Cara spill outside while Cody hits the crossroads for the three.
    It could just be me, but Cara looked like he was having an off night. The double teams from the masked men seemed awkward, and not as quick or crisp as you’d expect.
    After the match, Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) cut a promo on their new no. 1 contenders and Kane pulled Bryan behind him, grabbing him by the face, followed up by a pyro spot

    We come back from break with a “Tout” by Zack Ryder about working the first ever WWE Egyptian tour. We get a look at pics and videos.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON VS MICHAEL MIGILLICUTTY – The Miz joins the commentary team to scout Kofi; however Cole and J.R. put the focus on his match later tonight with Ryback, and the Egyptian tour. Kofi wins it with “Trouble in Paradise.”

    We go to a recap of last Monday’s contract signing when Cena gave Ryback the title-shot at Hell in the Cell, and Ryback gave Punk the “shell-shock.”

    Back from break and we get a shot of Super Bowl Champions the New York Giants before Cena comes out to “really NOT pro-Cena,” crowd. Cole reminds us to go to WWE.com and help the Susan G. Komen foundation fight breast cancer by buying special John Cena merchandise. (100 % goes to the charity.) He cuts a promo about Ryback and Punk at HitC, putting over Ryback as a no-nonsense ass-kicker, promising a Ryback win.
    C.M. Punk comes out w/Paul Heyman. Punk calls Cena on his predictable pandering to the Giants, saying he prefers the San Francisco brand. Punk says he’s the best in the world and promises he will win at HitC. He compliments Cena on his new role as “cheerleader” for Ryback and credits Cena for realizing he can’t beat him. Cena responds by saying he’s clear to wrestle and challenges Punk to step up/in the ring. Punk walks all the way to the edge of the apron, Heyman begging him not to do it every step, and backs out with the belt.

    We go to break with another mention of AJ Lee tweeting about her emergency meeting with WWE HQ.

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cole mentions how Cesaro said no American can beat him, and how last week he disrespected the Sun Records building, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis. End of the match is Gabriel and Cesaro on the top rope, trading hits until Cesaro falls, and Gabriel hits the 450 splash FOR THE WIN! Cole and J.R. sell this as a huge upset and suggest Gabriel might be getting a shot at the U.S. title.

    Backstage; a limo rolls in and Vince McMahon himself gets out w/RAW GM A.J. Lee in tow. (It looks like a kidnapping.)
    Back from break, Vince has AJ in the ring. Vince tells us about AJ being called in by the Board of Directors, and gives the mike to AJ.  AJ officially resigns as GM based on false allegations of “fraternizing” with a WWE superstar. AJ gives an awesome speech about how grateful she is to the WWE for giving a poor girl who grew up with nothing a chance, and how she went from having nothing to being the boss. Vince gives her a hug.
    Out comes Paul Heyman, ragging on AJ for being a “Jersey Girl,” and complimenting her back-handedly for overcoming he faults. He nominates himself as new GM and gets shot down by Vince. We are introduced to new WWE “managing supervisor,” Vicki Guerro.

    What the hell is a “managing supervisor?”

    After Vicki thanks the WWE for the opportunity, Heyman tries to work his charm on her, and tries to get Punk out of his match with Ryback. Vicki shoots him down and makes tonight’s Main Event a champion vs. champion, lumberjack match with Sheamus against C.M. Punk. Heyman walks off having a conniption while Vicki cuts a promo on AJ, calling her too “immature,” for a position of authority. Vicki tells the crowd she was accused of having an “affair” with a WWE superstar. Vicki tries to dismiss her, but after a few steps, AJ decides to go after her. After a quick cat-fight, Vicki bails, and we go to break.

    So for the record, dating WWE talent is a no-no.
    Marriage, that’s a whole different thing.

    Back from break; with Ryback in the ring, followed by The Miz.

    RYBACK VS THE MIZ – Do you expect me to end this in ANY OTHER WAY than clothesline, followed by Shellshock, Ryback gets the pin?

    After the match, we get a promo of the WWE talking to kids about bullying as part of the “Be a Star” campaign AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHOS GOING TO POINT OUT THE IRONY OF EVE TORRESS DOING THIS AIN’T I?

    We come back from break with Eve backstage dogging AJ on her phone, implying AJ hooked up with Zack Ryder and Primo. Kaitlyn confronts her with a picture taken off her I-pad, and it breaks down into a brawl with Layla getting into it.

    If I knew how, I’d post video of Peter Griffin going “WHO THE HELL CARES?” on constant loop.

    After that, we go to a interview backstage with Josh Mathews and Sheamus, playing with a WWE brawling buddy. Big Show comes in, knocks it away, and warns Sheamus to get serious.

    Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring as we go to break.

    When we come back, we get a pop for WWE.com and a story about Cena getting a special award from the “Make a Wish,” foundation.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – J.R. and Cole speculate about Vicki dropping Dolph and the future of RAW management while Ziggler and Bryan wrestle one of the best matches I’ve seen this year. There’s a LOT of high-spots and big-impact maneuvers, and a scary spot with Ziggler hitting the ring-post head first. Match ends with Kane (Bryan’s partner) distracting Bryan with a “YES!” chant and Ziggler hitting the Zig-Zag.

    Side Note: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY LOSE THE TITLES AND FUED FOR A MONTH ALREADY?

    After the match, Team Hell No argues until Matt Stryker comes out to announce that Kane and Bryan have been ordered by Vicki Guerro to compete in a “therapeutic game show,” against Rhodes Scholars.

    They ain’t thrilled about it either.

    After the break, we get a recap of AJ resigning, Vicki being made “managing supervisor,” and AJ going off on her ass.

    Bryan and Kane are seated for “the Newly Tag” game, and act like they plan to play along. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out, crap all over the segment, and walk. Stryker declares them the winners by forfeit as Bryan has a win-gasim. Bryan and Kane look at Stryker with murderous intent. Stryker bails and from the safety of the stage, smiles villainously and makes it clear he can’t wish them luck in their match on Sunday. Big Show walks up behind him and tosses him across the stage like a bowling ball.

    So anybody gonna explain to me what Stryker did to deserve this bitch-booking? Or whatever happened to that whole “no touching announcers,” rule?

    Back from break, Kane and Big Show have a match in progress.

    BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE – Slow back and forth brawl; with lots of punching and choking with a few high spots. Show wins with the big right hand after Rhodes Scholars comes out with the distraction and double team Bryan into unconsciousness.

    Backstage; Santino tries to comfort AJ. Cena enters the picture and Santino walks. Cena tries to get AJ fight this, AJ reveals Cena was the one they accused her of “fraternizing” with, and she took the hit to protect him. Cena hugs AJ and promises to take care of this.

    Back from break, Miz is Touting about Cairo Egypt, being awesome as part of the world tour.

    Backstage: Cena confronts Vince about the decision to replace AJ with Vick – sort of. Apparently Vince has no say in how his own company is run.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS ZACK RYDER – Okay, what is J.R.’s problem tonight? First he and Cole gripe about Roberto Rodriguez introducing Del Rio, then he says something about hearing people complaining about losing their “spot” for years, then he dumps on Ryder’s “internet champion” gimmick. Del Rio wins with the Arm-breaker, and then cuts a promo on Ryder as if he were Randy Orton while continuing to brutalize him. Del Rio mocks Orton’s posing.

    Backstage; Vicki Guerro is cleaning out AJ’s office when Cena gets all up in her face, Vicki points out Cena asked her out on TV, and they were seen having dinner together. He claims it was a business dinner as friends. Vicki says it doesn’t matter; Cena is still the one who cost her, her job.

    Back from break, we have an interview with Dolph Ziggler. He blames John Cena for the whole mess, and implies AJ should’ve had “better taste.”

    We get a Ryback Video Package showing him destroy people and how much the crowd loves him.

    Someone WILL have to explain this to me.

    Backstage; Heyman tries to comfort C.M. Punk who’s upset about the lumberjack match with Sheamus. Heyman tries to keep his spirits up; reassuring him he will be Champion after this Sunday.

    Back from break; we have a TON of WWE superstars around the ring and C.M. Punk in the ring. Sheamus is out next, and you can hear a faint C.M. Punk chant.

    WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK VS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS – As Sheamus makes his way to the ring, Cole quotes a tweet from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, wishing him luck. Early in the match, Sheamus is tossed out and the lumberjacks give him a huge berth. When Punk is tossed out a minute later, the “jacks” swarm him. We get a solid, if basic match that builds its pace slowly but gets the crowd into it. Two of the lumberjacks run into the ring and each eats a big boot from Sheamus. Sheamus goes for Punk but takes a chokeslam from Big Show allowing Punk to get the pin.

    And no; I don’t know why Punk wasn’t DQ’d when the two guys ran in.

    After the match, Ryback comes out to get a piece of Punk. Whenever Punk tries to run, the face lumberjacks toss him back to Ryback. Ryback tosses punk like a pizza and drops him on a bunch of heels. Punk whimpers in pain as Ryback stands tall.