BoredWrestlingFan.com

What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW!  No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright?  Why’m I still going to do this review?  No rest for the wicked.

Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW?  And what about Mister Money in the Bank?  Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: Nexus meets Team Cena.>

BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping.  And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas.  Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning.  Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe.  They did it for reasons only they knew.  The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt.  Until last Monday.  RAW finally said they have had enough.  Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam.  You will see that they are not invincible.  It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get.  And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence.  With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman.  Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin.  The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong.  Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing.  Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

I love Jericho… especially in a tux.  Just sayin.

Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team.  The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused.  He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say.  “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.”  All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways.  Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites.  He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company.  Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team.  Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price.  Call them whatever he wants.  He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus.  Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him.  He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho.  Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.

Cena says it ain’t about Jericho.  It’s not about him.  It’s about the damn business.  Nexus has taken over the company.  Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want.  Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it.  Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now?  They have to co-exist.  Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone.  Jericho is essential to the team.  Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again.  Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is.  More than that, he sees the big picture.  Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company.  The other threat is John Cena.  Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks.  He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do.  The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe.  Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena.  He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself.  Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.

You’ve got mail!

Cena threw his hat.  “Cena, Jericho.  Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match.  The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious.  And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight.  Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork.  Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing.  And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”

<COMMERCIAL>

@Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF

@RAWMysteryGM   I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, R-Truth interrupts The Miz’ attempt to cash in Money in the Bank.>

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about.  He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina

Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.

Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy.  Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match.  The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down.  Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it.  Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair.  Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two.  He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out.  The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam.  Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him.  Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO.  He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him.  Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in.  Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.

AWESOME!

Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.

The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.

Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam.  However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali.  Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali?  Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright.  Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her.  Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there.  Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself.  As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.

<COMMERCIAL>

@TKeep123   …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.

@Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.

You’ve got mail!

“I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight.  The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”

I just noticed, the briefcase is dented.  Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Honkytonk Man vs. Ultimate Warrior for the Intercontinental Championship.>

Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him.  Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali.  Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali.  Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now.  Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty.  Edge says fine.  But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.

<COMMERCIAL>

@HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE

@RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE

@Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW

The Great Khali vs. Edge

Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny.  Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight.  I hope Striker comes back on commentary.

Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves.  Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really.  He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle.  Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away.  Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd.  Nexus surrounds the ring.  Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring.  They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp.  Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.

Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus.  However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match.  I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.

<COMMERCIAL>

@BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?

@HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe

Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
Team RAW vs Team Nexus
Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga

Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle.  Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.

Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.

Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel.  Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage.  He then tagged in Lawler.  Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two.  Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.

<COMMERCIAL>

@seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring

@Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW

@SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF

@ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf

Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well.  Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating.  The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith.  Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two.  Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle.  Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.

David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.

Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around.  Slater tags in Otunga.  Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.

Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.

Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him.  Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in.  Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again.  Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in.  Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi.  Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute.  Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline.  Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again.  He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle.  Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.

Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.

Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left.  Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in.  Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.

Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.

Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan.  Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him.  Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.

Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.

Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline.  Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him.  As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.

Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination.  The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose.  Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks.  The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas.  Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team.  Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus.  No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done.  What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus.  And they are unbreakable.  Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight.  They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena.  They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill.  They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery.  And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.

Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up.  Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus.  Miz just stares at him.  Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place.  Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho.  After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring.  After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain…  Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus.  Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room.  Miz looks around and then scoffs.

<COMMERCIAL>

@kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.

@HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe

@Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.

@TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!

@kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf

Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox

Dear God… It’s the Bellas.  Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole.  The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo.  Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!

Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic.  Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing.  She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.

<COMMERCIAL>

@dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf

R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary.  Anyway.

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison

DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives.  Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little.  DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two.  I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him.  DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out.  DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit.  Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison.  Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison.  DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off.  DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face.  DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!

Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho.  Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team.  Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.

<COMMERCIAL>

@KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.

@BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?

@dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.

“Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Team Nexus? Meet Team Cena (Jericho).>

Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…

Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in.  Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.

AWESOME!

United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho

<COMMERCIAL>

@RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE

@kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…

Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match.  I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena.  Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes.  They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock.  Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner.  Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho.  A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy.  Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes.  Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring.  Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.

<COMMERCIAL>

We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline.  Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out.  Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose.  Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho.  Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage.  Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in.  Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref.  Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out.  Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out.  Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again.  Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms.  Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it.  Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope.  Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope.  Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus.  Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron.  Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in.  Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner.  The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.

Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus.  Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks.  Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too.  Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.

The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.

Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them.  Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring.  Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF.  Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them.  Edge then hits a Spear on Khali.  Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in.  Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring.  Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop.  Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.

Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy.  How will Nexus take advantage of this?  Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in?  Later, BWF tweeters.

Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?  I haven’t reviewed a WWE show in weeks.  Hell, I didn’t review anything at all for the past couple of weeks.  I’ve just been burnt out, guys, and for that I apologize.  In any event, I’m here now, parked in front of the TV and ready for SmackDown – so let’s go!

It is with deep sadness that I report that professional wrestling has lost another one of it’s superstars. Sometime last night, Chris “Kanyon” Klucsaritis passed away of an apparent suicide. While most of us remember his work as Kanyon in both WCW and the WWE, it was through his “Mortis” character that I became a true fan of Klucsaritis’ work. We here at boredwrestlingfan.com would like to send our condolences to Chris’s friends and family.

One last time, answer me the question – “Who Betta Than Kanyon?!?”

Welcome all to another edition of Random Randomness.  Happy St. Patrick’s day to all those who celebrate it on Wednesday.  Here in JTland the celebration has already started.  But we’re not here to talk about that this is a wrestling website so lets talk about wrestling:

Hello all.  Hope everyone is doing well and is keeping warm in this nationwide  arctic blast.  It’s actually below 0 farenheit here as the time of this writing.  Well lets get this party started:

Gobble Gobble Gobble.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Match 1:  The Miz vs Santino Marella

On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the comedic hi-jinx provided by Santino as well as the awesomeness of The Miz.  Santino chants echo throughout the arena as this one gets started.  These two  guys are great.  If you don’t like Santino, then something is definitely wrong with you.  He is absolutely hilarious.  How guys keep from busting out laughing while in the ring with him is beyond me.  He is one of the very few “entertainers” I actually watch.  Most others I just fast foward the DVR through.  As for The Miz, I can’t watch Real Word/Road World challenges without wishing for a surprise appearance from Mike Mizanin.  Anyways, The Miz wins this match with the Skull Crushing Finale.

Ask the Divas segment…I am not thankful for this….BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Match 2:  Vladimir Kozlov w/Willaim Regal minus Ezekiel Jackson vs Goldust

I am thankful that Kozlov has quit wearing those plain white trunks and has opted for the red shorts.  I was always afraid I would see a big brown stain on the back of those white ones.  I am also thankful that the Bizarre One is on ECW enhancing the younger talent and not lost on RAW or Smackdown.  Kozlov wins this with the Iron Curtain.  After the match, Regal lands a running knee to an already downed Goldust. 

Main Event:  R-Truth vs Dolph Ziggler

I am thankful that R-Truth is finally being used on a weekly basis in meaningful matches.  I am also thankful that Dolph Ziggler was given a chance on Smackdown and not discarded after his lackluster introductions on RAW.  If these two are main eventers by this time next year, then I will have something else to be thankful for.  Truth hits the Lie Detector for the victory to end the show.  What’s Up?!

Thank you for reading and I’ll see you again next week.  Be safe!!!

Ok, ok, ok.  I’m 2 days late here.  But, better late than never right?  Here are some quick results from this weeks Superstars.

Match 1:  Shelton Benjamin vs Zack Ryder w/Rosa Mendes

Rosa gets a call at ringside and throws the phone to Zack.  She gets into the ring to tell him he has a phone call.  As Ryder is looking at her, Shelton comes at him and Ryder ducks him to get the quick pin.  Very strange sequence.

Ask the Divas segment….zzzzzz….zzzzzz…zzz..zzzzzzzzzz….zzz…..zzzzzz

Match 2:  Eric Escobar w/ Vickie Guerrero vs Jimmy Wang Yang

Vickie distracts JWY and Escobar hits a running jump kick for the win.

Main Event:  Cody Rhodes vs Mark Henry

Why didn’t Legacy make an appearance on RAW this past Monday?  Mark Henry wins this one with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Survivor Series is tonight.  So, here are some quick projections.

Team Kofi vs Team RKO

Winner:  Team Kofi.  Kofi gets the final elimination pin over Randy Orton

Team Miz vs Team Morrison

Winner:  Team Morrison.  Morrison pins Miz after an already eliminated Jack Swagger distracts Miz.

Team Mickie vs Team McCool

Winner:  Team Mickie.  Mickie eliminates Layla and McCool to finish the match.

Rey Mysterio vs Batista

Winner:  Rey gets the win here.  They have to continue this feud somehow.  How’s that going to happen if Batista destroys Mysterio here?

HHH/HBK/John Cena Triple Threat WWE Title Match

Winner:  HBK wins the title.  There’s not many more directions they can go with HHH and John Cena any more, so HBK gets the fresh win here.

Jericho/Big Show/Undertaker

Winner:  Undertaker wins when Jericho and Show can’t work together.

I am back from my one week absence.  Sorry about that, my loyal readers, but my family was in town last weekend and I couldn’t find the time to sit down and write my thoughts on last weeks episode.  With that said…let’s get retarted in here.

Match 1:  Fatt Lardy er…Matt Hardy vs David Hart Smith

I’m not sure if Matt can slap a tornado, but by the looks of things lately, he can probably belly bump one.  This match is very technical at the beginning.  Not to offend anybody…and I sure as hell don’t need GLAAD on my ass…but David Hart Smith looks extremely gay in the pink camo…Matt kinda does too in his purple footie pajamas.  I will say this about DH, however…he is really good with his move set, but he seems to get lost out there at times and doesn’t quite know what to do.   Matt Hardy actually lands a Moonsault, that didn’t quite land, but at least he did it.  Tyson Kidd jumps on the mat to distract Matt and DH lands a big boot.  The ref attempts to send Natalya and Tyson Kidd to the back, and Matt rolls Smith up for the 3-count.  This match was pretty good.  It got a little slow at times, as David Hart Smith seemed to be searching for moves. 

Ask the Divas segment…who cares?!

Match 2:  Zack Ryder w/Rosa Mendes vs Shelton Benjamin

This match is very athletic.  Shelton has the exact opposite problem of DH Smith.  He seems to go to fast at times, which causes him to botch some of his moves.  I think they could have found someone hotter to accompany Zack Ryder to the ring, but that’s not a big deal I guess.  Ryder’s Flying Leg Larriot is awesome.  He will be a future midcard title holder…I don’t see much else from him at this point and time, but maybe.  As the action spills to the outside, Rosa goes to check on Zack.  Ryder doesn’t pay attention to the count and loses by countout.  Shelton hits Pay Dirt when Ryder re-enters the ring for good measure.

Video package for Sheamus.  I definitely like that guy!  He’s gonna be a STAR!!!!

Josh Matthews interviews Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.  They talk some smack about MVP and Mark Henry.  It was a good carryover from Monday. 

Main Event:  MVP vs Ted DiBiase

It’s time to give the ball to MVP and DiBiase.  I think everybody is tired of seeing Cena, Orton, and HHH in the title hunt every month.  I guess the creative team on RAW just doesn’t get it though.  That’s why Smackdown and ECW are the shows to watch right now.  This match was dominated by TD2 for the most part, but MVP gets the comeback victory with a rollup.  This match was nice and physical as both guys have mean streaks. 

That’s it for this week.  Check me out next week for another review of WWE Superstars.  Remember to check back in for the Smackdown review tonight.

Happy Hallloween to all my Peeps!  Let’s get this thing started already.

Match 1: Jack Swagger vs Primo

Jack Swagger has yet to lose since he made the declaration that he would not lose for the rest of the year.  The match starts off with a wrestling exhibition by Swagger.  Primo’s quickness seems to trump Jack’s power, until Swagger catches him. Primo fights back with another quick burst, but Swagger’s strength proves to be too much for the younger Colon.  The All-American American gets the win with the Gutwrench Powerbomb.

Ask the Divas segment….boooooooooo!

Match 2:  Kelly Kelly vs Alicia Fox

Kelly Kelly is hot!  Alicia Fox is not!  That’s really all that is important about this match.  Alicia Fox wins with the Ax Kick.

Backstage:  Hart Dynasty and Mike Knox talking about their gameplan.

Match 3:  Woo Woo Woo!  You know it!!!  Zack Ryder vs Tyler Reks

I know my buddy RDLee hates him, but Zack Ryder is a star!  I originally wasn’t sold on him, but he has slowly grown on me.  He is, however, wearing some God awful silver boots for this match.  Tyler Reks needs to learn how to walk properly.  This was a back and forth match, where both guys got in offense, but Zack Ryder wins with the Zack Attack.

Match 3:  Hart Dynasty and Mike Knox vs Cryme Tyme and R-Truth

Hey WWE, segregate much???  It’s funny how the Hart Dynasty and R-Truth were hugging on Sunday, now they hate each other again.  Oh how brand warfare unites.  Kidd and JTG start things off.  Very even matchup until Knox gets the tag.  Knox then comes in and overpowers JTG.  JTG makes the tag to Shad and things even back up.  Knox tosses Shad to the outside, as they go to commercial.  When the match comes back on the air, Shad is fighting back and Knox makes the tag to David Hart Smith.  DH tags in Kidd for a quick kick to the back and Kidd tags in Knox for a back splash.  Shad makes the tag to Truth and Knox tags in Kidd.  Truth handles his business until Knox lands a big boot.  JTG clotheslines Knox over the ropes, DH gets the big boot on JTG and Truth tosses DH over the ropes.  Truth hits the Lie Detector for the win over Tyson Kidd. WHATS UP?!?!

Have a safe Halloween and I’ll see you next week.  Peace!

Apparently, e-mails from my phone are very selective as to whom they will go out to.  I did try to give Drow some live notes from the show, including Superstars and dark match reviews.  I’m going to give you guys a quick rundown tonight, but I will most definitely be posting a hell of a lot more stuff tomorrow.

WWE Superstars tapings:  Jack Swagger defeated Primo and Alicia Fox defeated Kelly Kelly.

There is going to be a new theme song for RAW next week.  It’s “Burn It To The Ground” by Nickelback.  They had us chant “HEY” during the song for the new open.

The dark main pit John Cena, DX, and Kofi Kingston against Legacy and The Big Show.  The faces won when everybody bailed on Orton, allowing him to take all four faces’ finishers.

I’m gonna watch the show on my DVR and I’ll give you guys more thoughts on it as I go along, but I wanted to get these out to you tonight.