1.  RIP Eddie “Umaga” Fatu. 

2.  The final episode of Monk aired this week and was done well.  Monk was a great show and will be missed. 

3.  What a difference a week makes, we go from the awesomeness of Jesse Ventura hosting the best edition of RAW all year, to Verne Troyer hosting the worst editions of RAW ever.  Did anyone notice how little Verne was even on the show?  And no I’m not making a short joke, but he was barely on there at all.

4.  Speaking of Verne Troyer, he is 32 inches tall, my cat Luther (who says hi to everyone) is 29 inches tall when he stands on his hind legs.

5.  Mark Henry, don’t quit your day job, you can’t rap.

6.  Poetry on ECW???  And on the Abraham Washington Show nonetheless, that was probably the worst 15 minutes of my life.

7.  I’m not really feeling The Dudebusters yet, but I’m giving WWE kudos for trying to bring some new tag teams into the mix.

8.  What is with people playing Smackdown vs. RAW 2010 on All of the programs this week?  Yeah I know it’s a good game, but I don’t need the wrestlers promoting it for me.  Speaking of the game, I just finished the “Road to Wrestlemania” story for my create a wrestler and have to say that I was pretty disappointed.  Well at least for the PS 2 version of the game. (Spoiler alert) When you finally get to Wrestlemania, you wrestle Vince, which I didn’t mind, but when you beat him you make Vince do the chicken dance in a chicken suit.  Lame.  But it still hasn’t stopped me from playing it though.

9.  For some reason I think this whole Ezekial Jackson turning on Regal and Koslov thing is just a setup and Jackson isn’t turning, but I have been wrong in the past and will continue to be wrong in the future, so lets see how this plays out.

10.  I payed no attention this week to iMPACT! and had no desire to.

11.  Don’t tell anybody, but the masked man who attacked the Hurricane this week was Paul Burchill.

12.  Is it just me or does Luke Gallows look smaller than Festus?  I know they are the sape person, but since putting some clothes on, Gallows looks like he shrunk a couple inches.  But that could be because CM Punk is taller than Jesse.

13.  Wait so Eric Escobar is a face now???  Or is he just going back to developmental?  I don’t really know, this story was started and ended way too fast for me.  And for the record Vickie needs a new catchphrase,  EXCUSE ME is getting annoying. 

14.  So we get to see Rey Mysterio get eaten by Batista next week on Smackdown in a street fight!  Yay injury angles.

15.  Just a reminder that I will be hosting the roundtable for the TLC pay per view.  If you want to be a part of it, just send me a PM over on the forums with your picks by no later than next Saturday December 12, 5pm Eastern time.

Well that’s all Ive got for now thanks again for reading and see you all next time.

We actually open with a match in progress! Seriously, when was the last time that that happened?

Match #1: Team 3D vs. Beer Money vs. Booker T and Scott Steiner vs. The British Invasion: Mike Tenay informs us that the fallout from last week in regard to the tag teams has been handled in a tag team gauntlet match. The four tag teams that have been at each others’ throats since last week are facing off, with one man entering at a time, and once all eight men are at the ring, a pin or submission may be used to get the win. James Storm is the last man out, in a spectacular football helmet with beer cans on either side. The crowd is solidly behind Beer Money. Kurt Angle sits in the back, keeping an eye on Booker T and Steiner. Brutus Magnus steals a pin on Scott Steiner after Booker T makes the save for Steiner. Angle and the Main Event Mafia are furious at Magnus, and Booker shoves Magnus around while Doug Williams shouts at him.

Winners: The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams)

To the back! World Elite and the Main Event Mafia explode, with Magnus refusing to back down and saying that he was there to win, Angle shouting that he’ll deal with them later and Booker yelling that The British Invasion are just rookies, man, just some rookies. Uh, yeah, Doug Williams is such a rookie…. 

To the ring! Kurt Angle calls out Matt Morgan. Morgan complies. At least he isn’t wearing that ridiculous DNA cape. Morgan has his own mic. Angle tells Morgan that Morgan has misunderstood his good intentions, and is a bit too immature to understand now, but in time, he will. Morgan is on the cusp of being the newest MEMber. Morgan cuts off Angle with, “Let me guess. There’s just one more little thing I have to do.” Sting’s music plays, and Sting comes to the ring with AJ Styles. Tenay and Taz talk up how Sting “talked AJ off the ledge” in regard to his wrestling career. Sting asks Morgan why he would believe for a second that Angle would have his back in the ppv. Sting and Morgan have a fantastic exchange where Sting gets in Angle’s face, using Morgan’s catchphrases. Sting repeatedly tells Morgan that the MEM needs Morgan, not the other way around. Angle interrupts, saying that AJ was a quitter, and that Sting is just using AJ to get one last shot at glory. At least Angle is honest about his intentions, and is using Morgan to keep the World title. AJ makes Angle repeat that. Morgan explodes verbally on Angle. Jeebus, Morgan is a solid promo! He ends by telling Angle to use him tonight like he means to use him at the ppv. Morgan offers to be in Angle’s corner during Angle’s match against AJ and Daniels later tonight. I never thought I’d gush over Matt Morgan’s mic work. I am!

To the back! Lauren asks Earl Hebner about his call last week concerning Eric Young dressed as Homicide. Hebner yells at Lauren.

To the back! Mick Foley puts Dr. Stevie in a match against Abyss to collect his own bounty.

Match #2: Daffney and Alissa Flash vs. Sarita and Taylor Wilde: This is part of the Knockouts tag team tournament. I’m a huge fan of three of these ladies, so it fall sinto the “sit back and watch” category. Alissa Flash is all power, Sarita is the high-flying queen, and zombie-hot Daffney is just nine shades of awesome. Sarita gets the pin on Alissa Flash after an impressive slam.

Winners: Taylor Wilde and Sarita

To the back! JB tells World Elite that Kurt Angle will be stopping by. Eric Young cuts a very solid promo about World Elite doing what was right, and whatever it takes. As one professional and one leader to another, his door is always open. Come by and have a little chat. World Elite treated Magnus’s win as a great thing. I smell faction issues!

To the back! Lauren interviews Suicide about “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero targeting him. Suicide says that the Dark Savior is coming, and there will be a cleansing next week.

To the ring! It’s the Motor City Machine Guns! They have their own commentary table, and get on headsets. Commentary gold ensues. You just have to hear it.

Match #3: Jay Lethal vs. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero: The Pope is super over! Loud chants of “Pope is pimpin’!” A very athletic match. Lethal hits a beautiful suicide dive through the ropes onto The Pope. Tenay points out that tag team partners are banned from ringside, as per the referee’s new authority. The Pope clotheslines Lethal over the top rope and onto the back of his neck, and it looks bad. The Pope continues to target the neck. Lethal is back in the match , and we’re back to give-and-take. Lethal is more high-flying, The Pope is more power moves, but they mesh very well. The Pope targets the neck again, and hits Lethal with the running double knees to the back for the win. I absolutely LOVE Dinero’s music!

Winner: “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero

The MEM goes to the WE locker room and Angle yells about Brutus Magnus being out of line in pinning Steiner to win the match. Eric Young cuts another brilliant promo refusing to apologize or back down in any way to Angle and the MEM. They shake hands and leave. Steiner is the last to leave. Steiner looks at WE and asks if any of the foreigners have anything to say. Steiner spits on the ground at their feet and says, “That’s what I think of foreigners.” The tension builds!

Match #4: The Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne and Roxxi: The MCMG are still on commentary, and have plenty to say about the entrances of the Beautiful People. Roxxi sports shorts with stars on them, a red halter-ish top, and a brown pageboy haircut. Roxxi shows some fire and some sweet moves, including a Voodoo Drop. Angelina Love pins Madison Rayne, pulling the tights and showing some ass.

Winners: The Beautiful People

To the back! Cody Deaner wants a tune-up match against a Knockout in preparation for his Knockouts title match against ODB.

To the video package! Kevin Nash and Mick Foley.

To the ring! Mick Foley joins Tenay and Taz at the commentary table.

Match #5: Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie: This is a special challenge bounty match where Dr. Stevie can claim his own bounty. Dr. Stevie assaults Abyss before the Monster even gets in the ring. Dr. Stevie goes after Abyss with a barrage of chops and kicks, but Abyss flattens Dr. Stevie with a splash in the corner, followed by a Black Hole Slam. Post-match, Kevin Nash sneaks to the ring and attacks Abyss. Weakly. Dr. Stevie and Nash beat down Abyss, but Foley makes the save.

NOTE: “Slammiversary” was a really good show. I don’t understand how it got a 7,000 buyrate. It was good.

To the ring! Eric Young and the World Elite are out to recruit Hernandez. They want him in their family, to be treated as an equal and given a fair chance. The MCMG play video games at their commentary table. Alex Shelley wears cool shades while playing his game. Eric Young calls out Hernandez to join them. Loud crowd chants of “Shut the hell up!” Hector Guerrero comes out instead, to some vaguely Latin rock music. Old Man Hector channels the spirit of Eddie with the standard “vato loco esse” bit. The crazy googly eyes are a bit much. This promo was just bad. Most Mexicans that I know would not find Hector Guerrero amusing.  Young interrupts, and says that WE didn’t start this. The people did. Young respects the Guerrero name and the accomplishments the family has made in the wrestling business. That’s why Hector is still standing. Young tells Hector to go to the back and tell Hernandez to watch the monitors, because he will give Hernandez a reason to talk to him face to face.

Tara in MMA gear. Hot.

To the video package! Tara, Poison, and general awesomeness.

Match #6: Tara vs. Cody Deaner: This match is fought under MMA rules. Tara looks absolutely smoking in MMA gear. The MCMG are still on commentary, and can actually be heard this time. Further commentary gold ensues. Tara beats the daylights out of Deaner as the MCMG mock him. Tara dodges and Deaner punches the ref by accident. While the ref is out, Awesome Kong rushes the ring, flattens Tara, and plants her with the Implant Buster. Kong bails, and as the ref recovers, he sees a laid-out Tara on the mat. The referee declares Deaner the winner.

Winner: Cody Deaner

To the back! Lauren corners Cody Deaner and questions him about the match he just had. Deaner screams about Mike Tyson, Chuck Norris, Tony Danza, and Carrot Top. The less said about this, the better.

Tenay and Taz run down the ppv lineup for “No Surrender.” We see video footage of Rhino attacking Lashley at Lashley’s gym.

Match #7: AJ Styles and Daniels (w/ Sting) vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe (w/ Matt Morgan): Morgan sits in a chair and watches from a distance. Daniels and Angle start. The action here was fast-paced and very good from all four guys. Joe goes for a chair outside of the ring on the floor. Morgan picks up his chair and gestures at Angle. Angle tries to throw AJ head-first into the chair, but AJ stops the move and throws Angle head-first into the chair instead. AJ pins Angle for a three-count! Post-match, Morgan laughs and apologizes. Angle slaps Morgan. Morgan grabs Angle and plants him with the Hellavator. Morgan leaves.

Winners: AJ Styles and Daniels (w/ Sting)

To the back! World Elite throws Homicide into a wall and prepare to carry him to the ring.

Hernandez rushes the ring and chases World Elite to the floor. Homicide points at the WE members on the apron, and when Hernandez turns around, Homicide hits Hernandez with a chair. The rest of WE beats down Hernandez. Homicide smiles as he shakes hands with WE, drapes a Mexican flag over Hernandez, and is lifted onto the shoulders of WE.

FINAL THOUGHTS: So LAX is dead. I’m really sad that we never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we so should have had. Must a tag team always split up to push the members in singles directions? I really don’t think so. The Knockouts tag team matches have been very strong. I’m not in the slightest bit entertained with Cody Deaner as the Knockouts champion, but it is what it is. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero continues to look great, both in and out of the ring. Why on earth are the MCMG on commentary, at their own table, no less, if we can’t hear them on every match??? Come on! Kurt Angle got pinned by AJ Styles. Brutus Magnus pinned Scott Steiner and World Elite is now in trouble with the Main Event Mafia. Matt Morgan is clearly out to get the World Heavyweight title for himself. It truly seems to be the young lions’ time, and I’m tremendously excited about it. This was a very solid episode of “Impact,” and the build to “No Surrender” has been very good. The bashers and nay-sayers would do well to actually watch for a change, and they would see some truly enjoyable tv.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

1.  I went out and saw the Star Trek remake this week and will go on record as saying that I enjoyed it.  The movie was done well and is well worth it so go see it. (and that from someone who isn’t a Star Trek fan.) 

2.  Get these CD’s now, you wont be disappointed:

1. Unholy- New Life Behind Closed Eyes
2. Walls Of Jericho- The American Dream
3. Earth Crisis- To The Death
4. Green Day- 21st Century Breakdown

3.  The Miz 3, John Cena 0!  Awesome.

4.  It’s good to finally see tag teams going over in handicap marches, even if Cody (zzz) Rhodes is in the tag team.

5.  Who is The Brian Kendrick’s partner gonna be?  I have no clue, but I hope this isn’t gonna be a letdown.

6.  Santina Marella was awesome again this week.

7.  The US title scene is looking really good with William Regal, Matt Hardy, Kofi Kingston & MVP.  Lets hope that WWE writers  and/or injuries don’t mess this up.

8.  Batista vs. Orton, ugh.  It’s as painful to write about this matchup as it was watching it. 

9.  D.H. Smith returns and joins Tyson Kidd &   Natalya.  Does this mean we’ll finally get the Hart Foundation 2.0?  Which would be awesome.

10.  I have to say this right now, I don’t like babyface John Morrison.  As a heel he was great, as a baby face not so good.  Though I do think that his feud with Shelton Benjamin will be good.

 11.  Christian beats Mark Henry clean, without weapons or outside interference.  Now who said that Chrisitan was being punished for going to TNA? 

12.  Hornswoggle vs.  Big Show, the main event on Superstars.  Really?  And Goldust saves Hornswoggle, and even bigger WTF?????

13.  Charlie Haas on TV two weeks in a row?  Here comes the big push!  Well at least if they keep him in tag team action with Shelton Benjamin.

14.  Ricky Ortiz still sucks, even on Smackdown.

15.  The Dolph Ziggler push has now begun, but why did he draw Khali as his first feud?  It doesn’t make sense.  Khali should be feuding with the larger guys or going after the World title, not this.

16.  R-Truth vs. Mike Knox, no complaints there.

17.  And Edge babyface turn????  Maybe, I’ve got no problem with it.

18.  Edge vs. Jericho was a great match, I wish it had more time.

19.  The end of Smackdown was awesome.  The best ending to a WWE program in a LONG time.  It kept me wanting more and actually made me (f0r a second) want to buy Judgement Day. 

20.  Speaking of Judgement Day,  It is confirmed that the end is near, since this week on iMPACT, not only did Kevin Nash not get injured, but we had an entire program without Kurt Angle. 

Alright that’s all I’ve got this week, thanks again for reading and see you all next time.

1. Let me get started by saying that Wrestlemania 25 ended up being a lot better than I expected.  I was expecting a lot worse, and was very surprised.  It wasn’t the best Wrestlemania of all time but it was far from the worst.
 
2. The Tag Team unification match was bumped from the actual broadcast to the pre show.  WTF???  This isn’t Cody zzz Rhodes vs. F@#% Eric Young, but two very talented tag teams who are over with the crowd.  Then after months of Miz & Morrison on all three programs, WWE puts the titles on Primo & Carlito.  Not that they don’t deserve them (nor do I have a problem with it), but to me it looks like a slap in the face to Miz & Morrison.  Unless they get split in the draft, then it makes sense.

3. MITB was it’s usual awesomeness, except I think the need for everyone to to a spot got a little excessive.  Come on, a Hornswoggle tadpole splash on 8 guys 2-3 times his size and they sell it.  (JT shakes head).  However, congrats on CM Punk for winning it for the second year in a row.  I think this was the direction WWE was going to go in, having Jeff Hardy win last year then Punk winning this year, but Hardy has fail a pee test an allow Punk to win it not only last year, but this ear as well.  I still think this will be the year the MITB winner loses.

4. I like Kid Rock and his performance was awesome, but I really didn’t see the point.  Especially since a match was pulled off the card for it.

5. No intros for the 25 Diva Battle Royal, after advertising that past Diva’s would bet in it and then they don’t even get an introduction.  I couldn’t tell who was who, well except for Santina, I pointed her out immediately.  Btw, congrats to Santino’s sister Santina Marella for becoming the first ever “Miss Wrestlemania!”  I couldn’t stop laughing when she won it.  (I know Santina is really Santino, but if it gets me to watch a Diva match-up, more power to it.)  Then again maybe that’s why there were no Diva introductions.

6. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat still has it.  That match-up should’ve been Steamboat vs Jericho.  There was no real point in having Piper or Snuka in it.   

7. Matt vs. Jeff was also awesome.  That is all.

8. JBL loses the IC title in less than 30 seconds, LAME.  Then he quits, EVEN LAMER.

9. HBK vs. Undertaker was definately the match of the night, possibly match of the year.  It blew me away. When Undertaker leapt over the top rope and hit the cameraman, I thought he broke his neck.  I don’t know what more to say, it was that awesome and to think that I didn’t want this match to happen, well I’ll be the first to say it, “I’m sorry. I’m an idiot for not wanting this match to happen!”  Someone should take note (cough: HHH) this is how you put on a main event match-up.

10. The triple threat match was also better than expected.  I marked out when I heard Cena’s old music, I even liked the homage to Eminem with the 100 Cena look alike’s, though it was pointless.  I actually thought at one point that he was gonna pin Big Show while making Edge tap.  But got to give credit where credit is due, if you can life 700 pounds on your back, you should be champion.  

11. That gets me to the “Main Event” HHH vs. Orton.  This was horrible.  HHH, you should not be on the last match of a Wrestlemania card EVER AGAIN for this.  I totally agree with Drowgoddess on this one, and that’s all I have to say about it.

12. The Draft it next Monday, with a special start time of 8pm.  Great another 3+ hour RAW.  And all of the draft results will be forgotten by July anyway.

13. RAW was just filler this week, just to set up the draft, pretty much.

14. Batista returns, great.  How many people will he injure now?

15.  Santina Marella is awesome.

16. So, Vicki is now the RAW General Manager, Theodore Long is now the General Manager of Smackdown, and Tiffany is the Interim General Manager of ECW.  I would prefer Long be GM of RAW, he so deserves it.  I like Tiffany as ECW General Manager, it’s something different.

17.  Great 6 man tag match this week on ECW between Miz, Morrion & Tyson Kidd vs. Primo, Carlito & Evan Bourne.  But then anytime we get the chance to see an Evan Bourne Shooting Star Press, it’s a great thing.

18.  Why are the same guy’s going after the ECW title?  It’s boring.  However I hope WWE does the right thing and make Tommy Dreamer the #1 contender to face Jack Swagger at Backlash. 

19.  I’m not gonna talk about Impact his week, because you can read about it here (cheap plug):  http://www.worldwrestlinginsanity.com/am2/publish/Impact/impact4909.shtml

20.  Santino Marella on Smackdown this week was awesome, so much that he even made The Great Khali entertaining.  Btw it would be great to have him on one program while having “Santina” on the another.  Which is the routw WWE is going with this I think.

21.  Kofi Kingston is awesome, too bad he was stuck against the Big Show this week and got killed.

22.  I have to say it Edge vs. John Cena is a great feud.  After watching them on “The Cutting Edge”  it almost makes me want to see Backlash. 

23.  Primo & Carlito fresh off their WM 25 victory to become the Unified Tag Team Champions, job to Ted DiBiase & Cody zzz Rhodes.  Great booking job WWE.

24.  Holy crap, Matt Hardy beat Jeff Hardy twice in the same week.  I’m wondering though if Jeff is hurt, because it’s way too soon to be pulling the plug on this feud.  It should hang around until at least Summerslam.

25.  Ok so here’s the surprise, last night I went to my first ever Indie show.  It was called 2CW- Living On The Edge. The card featured such wrestlers as Colin Delaney, Claudio Castagnoli, Tammy Lynn Stych (Sunny), Nigel McGuinness, & A.J. Styles.  The show was awesome and for $10 it was very much worth every penny. 

26.  WWE dropped the ball with Colin Delaney.  I hated the puny unederdog  (thought he looked bigger in person).  As a cocky chicken s*it heel, he is at his best.  The crowd chanted “You got fired” his response, “at least I was there!”  He was great.

27.  Sunny still looks hot.  She was the special referee for Portia Perez vs Sara Del Rey match. I kinda payed more attention to Sunny  than the match itself.

28.   A.J. Styles had the biggest pop.  

29.  I’m not gonna pick a match of the night becaues all of the matches were good.  All of the wrestlers worked hard and put on a great show  and  I cant wait to get it on DVD when it comes out.

30.  To find out more this is their web site:  http://www.2cwwrestling.com/

Wow.  This is my biggest article to date.  I don’t think I ever written anything this long before in my life, over 1200 words. Having said all that I’m done for this week, thanks for reading see you next time!!!!!!!!!!

Legend Killer did an utterly bang-up job of real-time results, and by now you all know how the show played out, so there’s little point in rehashing it here. However, as one of the 72,744 attendees, several thoughts seemed worth sharing.

We were way up high in the nosebleed seats, but overlooking the ring was still great because you  don’t have to deal with people standing up in front of you. We were next to the side of the Titantron, so we couldn’t see any entrances as they happened, and had to depend on the monitors. The audio for the video packages was very distorted, and almost impossible to understand. Even the microphones weren’t very clear.

What? They cut the tag team unification match from the main show??? Curse you, you morons! I know that Vince hates tag teams, but Jeebus! The match was good, though. Carlito and Primo were super over. I was really surprised that they got the win, but The Miz and Morrison will get their belts back. You know it.

Why the hell is Skanky McUseless from the Pussycat Dolls mangling “America the Beautiful” in a vain attempt to sing it the “soul” way, when they have the magnificent Lillian Garcia right there? They should just let Lillian sing everything like that because she’s just that good.

Opening the “real” show with the Money in the Bank match? My friend Arthur was quite angry about this match being relegated to curtain jerk status, but Lance Storm says (and he has a good point) that you should open your show with the third-strongest match on your card to get everyone excited and into the show. I hung my “I’m Here for CM Punk” sign over the railing, but it never showed up on camera. Neither did my signs that read “The Triumvirate” and “Aaron Wood Sucks,” but I digress. Kofi Kingston looked great. I really like this guy. Christian! Yay! Oh my god! Punk wins! Punk wins! Sure, people are whining and moaning that he shouldn’t have won because he didn’t need it, and Christian should have won, but I don’t care because Punk wins! Look. Yes, there were some scattered boos, but those were immediately followed up by “Christian” chants. I think Christian is awesome. He was my Number Two choice to win it. However, people saw Christian return and immediately decided that he had to be the one behind Jeff Hardy’s accidents and should be instantly thrown into a program with Edge. There’s more than one way to tell a good story, and Christian will probably get his soon enough. This match was really good, and it’s not a given that Punk will cash in his title shot right away, or that he’ll lose when he does. Chillax, people!

Here is a quote from the real-time report:  

“Highlights of the WWE WM Fan AXXess tour. The tour looks huge! It would be a good event to go to, damn you Drow.”

Yes. Yes, it is.   

Kid Rock performance. I’m still a Kid Rock fan, so I was actually looking forward to this part. The guy did some of the best concerts I’ve attended. It would have been nice to have comprehensible audio, but one could still follow along. I had hoped for a piece of “American Badass,” but it was not to be. Nice segue into the Divas match by having them come out as he finished.

What a waste! They billed this as a 25-Diva battle royale, and made it seem like a significant deal, and we get this. Not one introduction. No one could even tell who was in the match. So much for Divas of past and present. Why bother with Sunny and Molly Holly and Victoria if you don’t even let us know they’re there? Honestly, this came off as a Plan L after their initial idea didn’t work out because all the major Divas turned down the offer to be there. Don’t get me wrong, Santino was priceless, and made it worth watching, but this was not a Wrestlemania moment of which to be proud.

Man, Steamboat can go! This is what retiring and staying retired before your body falls apart can do. I will always have a major soft spot in my heart for Rowdy Roddy Piper, and his entrance got the best reaction, but this was all about the Dragon. Jericho getting the win was a major shocker. I honestly didn’t think that they’d do it. Jericho calling out Mickey Rourke afterwards was cool. Some people have criticized quite heavily the Rourke/Jericho post-match doings, but it played well live. Rourke used to be a boxer, so the idea that Jericho thought Rourke would try to wrestle, and Rourke punched him instead was neat.

Matt Hardy has a good look with the tights. I don’t know how long he’s had that look, but he should definitely keep it. Even by Jeff Hardy standards, that was some odd face paint. Good match, but too heavy on the “trash can and cookie sheet” stuff. Why can’t they realize that “Extreme Rules” matches don’t have to be all about the plunder? This could have been an amazing match instead of a good one, and not required anything beyond the table/ladder/chair combination. Yes! Matt won! Why does everybody think that the babyface has to win at Mania? This story is clearly not over, and Jeff can’t score a decisive win over Matt until it’s ready to end.

IC title match. JBL is in Texas, and no limo? Hmm. Rey! Oh my god! I actually jumped up out of my seat and shouted, “He’s the Joker! Holy shit, Rey is the fucking Joker!” in the middle of a large section of children. And their parents. It wasn’t on purpose, I just reacted first and looked around me later. Aside from CM Punk’s victory and Undertaker’s entrance, I marked out for Rey’s entrance/costume more than anything else the whole night. It may be sad, but your words can’t hurt me. Again, lots of complaining over this match, and there shouldn’t be. JBL repeatedly promised that he would make history at Wrestlemania. He went on to promise the most dominant title match and so on, and that’s exactly what happened. It just wasn’t his victory. Think of it like the prophecy that a great kingdom shall fall. The king asking the oracle didn’t know if it would be his own or his enemy’s. This match was absolutely fine.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Amazing entrances for both guys. HBK’s descent from Heaven in white clothing and light really threw some people at first, but we were all staring intently. Then when “Sexy Boy” kicked in, the place went nuts. Undertaker rising up from Hell, and then doing his traditional entrance, was as spine-tinglingly awesome as ever. Seriously, it never gets old. Match of the night, no question. Taker kept the Streak intact, which was the right thing. HBK did not need to be the guy who ended it, if it gets ended at all.

After this match, lots of people around me got up and left. In several sections. That should tell you something. They didn’t just hit the restrooms or the consession stands, they packed up and LEFT.

The Edge/Big Show/Cena match angered me so very badly. For one thing, Edge entered first. The only champion all night to enter first. I don’t care who your golden boy/face of the company is, the champion should ALWAYS enter last. It didn’t really matter anyway, as this entire thing was “The John Cena Show.” The video package that was played focused entirely on him. You barely knew that Edge was the champion or that Big Show and Edge were serious competitors. It was all Cena. When his old music started and the never-ending lines of Cenabots walked down the ramp, some people did actually boo. Of course, the place exploded when he came out, and there’s no doubt that his popularity is legit, but he was the only one of the three who got a “Wrestlemania” entrance, and that was just wrong. The match itself wasn’t great, and I really felt bad for Edge. He’s better than this. Cena picking up both the Big Show and Edge at the same time for an Attitude Adjustment and actually getting a pin out of it was laughable. Seriously, they may as well have just handed Cena the belt after his entrance. It couldn’t have been more ridiculously obvious.

Hall of Fame inductees come out. Nice touch. Austin’s 4-wheeler rampage and beer bash was expected, to a degree, and pretty much everyone was into it.

HHH and Orton. Jeebus, this match was bad. The pacing was beyond plodding, and the idea that a Wrestlemania main event title match was set up to be reversed on the following RAW is an insult of the highest degree. 50/50 booking is bad enough under regular circumstances, but this? This thing? This thing through which we all had to suffer? No. No, not at all. What should have been Randy Orton’s gloriously shining moment was destroyed, and the McFamily can rot in hell. I’m only watching RAW for CM Punk anyway.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

Seriously. There really is a pay-per-view on Sunday. Tonight’s “Impact” is the go-home show. The question is, is it a home we want to go to? Let’s find out!

A Main Event Mafia promo opens the show. Shocker, that. Mike Tenay and Don West make a huge deal over the fact that Kurt Angle always enters first, the TNA World Heavyweight Champion Sting always enters last, and the rest of the MEM acts as a buffer between them. They have tension, you know. Technically, though, shouldn’t the champion always enter last? Kevin Nash starts off by bragging about his backstage politicking in his career, and how Samoa Joe is the first guy that he has ever wanted gone from a company that managed to stay around. Perhaps this was intended to put over Joe in some way, but it came off as the most back-handed of compliments if that were the case. At least people are booing Nash. However, Nash threatening to “kick Joe’s ass” seems out of place when neither man is booked on the ppv. Are we supposed to want to see ‘Against All Odds” because of the possibility that Joe might turn up and he and Nash will fight? If so, a last-second passing mention is not good enough. Angle then talks to Sting. The World Heavyweight title will stay in the Main Event Mafia no matter what Angle has to do.

To the back! See the rules of the Official TNA “Impact” Drinking Game. Lauren interviews Team 3D, who cut the worst promo of recent memory. Both guys, particularly Brother Ray, are much better than this. Babbling on about Mafia jokes and suddenly supporting Sting and hating on Angle. Whaa? Um, ok. They vow to do what good tag teams do, which is to cut off the ring and keep Angle in the ring for the entire match. They won’t let him tag to Sting. If either member of Team 3D really wanted to win the title, one would think that they would be fine with allowing two of their opponents to destroy each other. Shifting the focus from Brother Ray going after Sting makes sense from the perspective of booking, as Sting is a total babyface despite the MEM association, but in a way, it cheapens the belt that the title match isn’t really about it.

Really nice “Rough Cuts” package on Kiyoshi. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, the Great Muta, Sting, and Kiyoshi himself all spoke. This particular “Rough Cuts” package would have been put to better use airing it BEFORE Kiyoshi turned up. The MCMG spoke very respectfully of both Kiyoshi and the Great Muta, which seemed at odds with the match that followed.

To the back! Lauren interviews Consequences Creed and Black Machismo. They were angry because last week, when the MEM was beating down Petey Williams, they ran out to make the save on Petey, and were beat down themselves. Oh, they aren’t angry with the Main Event Mafia for that. Oh, no. They’re angry with the Motor City Machine Guns. The MCMG did not come out and help them during the beatdown. What, are you five? Lots of other people were in the building that night who did not come help them. Why aren’t Lethal Consequences angry at all those other people also? Suicide, for one. Isn’t he the Savior of the Outnumbered and Unfairly Attacked? If the character is going to be used (and he should not be), why not go for the obvious? Additionally, the short backstage segment that was apparently taped for last week’s “Impact” that actually showed the MCMG telling Lauren that they didn’t leave the locker room to go help because they just couldn’t pull themselves away from the HD tv was cut from the show. I never saw it, and I review every “Impact.” No one else who reviewed the show mentioned it. The spoiler live reports did. So in essence, tonight’s show is all about follow-up to something that the tv audience never actually saw. Cross the line. Black Machismo babbles in near-incoherence. Just take this character out behind the woodshed and shoot it! This team really does nothing for me in terms of ring work, mic work, or general charisma. And THEY are getting a tag team title shot? After they held the belts for all of three days on tv? Nice one.

Match #1: (Black Machismo Jay Lethal and Eric Young [replacing Consequences Creed] defeat the Motor City Machine Guns): Beer Money ran out and attacked Lethal Consequences before they even got to the ring. As the MCMG had entered first (looking rather spiffy in the pea coats that were apparently debuted on the U.K. tour by Alex Shelley), they hung out in the ring and watched. Creed eventually had his left elbow smashed with a chair by Robert Roode. The Guns continued to chill in the ring, with Sabin kicking it on the ropes Eddie Guerro-style. Tenay and West constantly ran down Shelley and Sabin for not getting involved, for only caring about themselves, for apathy, and for generally being the vilest, most wretched, most reprehensible creatures ever to draw breath. At one point, Tenay even claimed that the MCMG should have asked not to have the match at all, in light of the injury to a supposedly fellow Front Line member. Uh, excuse me? Jim Cornette would have a seizure if the talent took it upon themselves to cancel a booked and advertised match. They most certainly should NOT have asked for the match not to happen. That would have been stupid. With all the anti-MCMG ranting going on, the fact that the announcers practically excuse Beer Money for attacking Lethal Consequences before the ppv match nearly slips by. Yeah, it’s understandable why Beer Money would try to incapacitate their opponents before a ppv, and they aren’t associated with the MEM in any way, but they aren’t expected to play nice with the Front Line? Must. Have. Excedrin. In any case it’s a handicap match for a time, and then Eric Young comes running out to tag in. No announcement was made, so apparently Eric Young can interfere in a match for which he is not scheduled, the referee and Jim Cornette (and all the other authority figures) have no issues at all with this, and he can even get the win! Oh, you didn’t see that coming. Eric Cena hit BOTH of the Guns with a Death Valley Driver. Yeah, as in both of them at the same time. Super Eric is alive and well.

TIME OUT!

Rant: This was a case of drastic overkill by the announce team. Tenay and West tried so hard to label the Guns as total villains for not helping out a team that nobody really cares about, and yet, at the same time that all this is going on, loud chants of “Motor City! Motor City!” can be heard from the audience. Look, the Guns would be great heels, I have no problem with that. The problem is that, as overwhelmingly popular as they’ve been with the fans, they’ve never had a proper babyface run in TNA. Interestingly, last year’s “Against All Odds” was where they got completely buried with no explanation after apparently not wanting to blade during a match against Team 3D. They’ve never really gotten past that. There’s a basic saying in theatre, “Don’t tell me, show me.” We’ve seen very little to make us hate the Guns, in terms of serious heel heat. If TNA really wants the viewing audience to jump on the “Hate the MCMG” bandwagon, having the announcers go overly ballistic with real and imagined offenses in a few minutes on the last show before a ppv is not the way to do it! It really came off as “You aren’t reacting how we want you to! Hate these people! Hate them now! They are responsible for the Holocaust, the economy, and Matt Hardy’s heel turn!” The Guns actually did try to help the Front Line, and think of people other than themselves. It didn’t work and they were strongly rebuffed. Not all that long ago, they challenged the leadership of Samoa Joe and AJ Styles, saying that the Front Line should follow their lead and take on the MEM “by any means necessary.” They used the same tactics that the MEM has successfully utilized, and tried to help Jay Lethal win the World Heavyweight title from Sting. This would have been a tremendous moment for the Front Line. Lethal refused their help, and Sting was able to retain the title. Joe and AJ came down to the ring, took issue with the actions of the Guns, and beat them in a tag match the following week. Several weeks later, when Team 3D joined the Front Line and said the exact same thing about “by any means necessary,” Joe and AJ and the rest of the Front Line were only too happy to oblige. No wonder the Guns don’t care about the Front Line. If you tried to help someone, got slapped down, and then saw your advice being taken when it was offered by someone else, you’d keep to yourself too. Why does this make Shelley and Sabin evil?   

TIME IN!

 After the match, Alex Shelley is not happy, and tells Eric Young that if he wants to step up to the king, he had better be ready. He wants Eric in an X-Division title match at “Against All Odds.” Eric responds that he’ll do it if Shelley’s “life partner” isn’t at ringside. The X-Division and Alex Shelley deserve so much better than this sort of throwaway title booking. Aside from not being announced until the last second, there was little, if any, prior build to this. Alex Shelley is usually one of the most articulate, intelligent, and creative promo guys on the roster. His exchange with Eric Young was not so great. Did someone try to script Alex Shelley? You just don’t do that.

To the back! The Kongtourage is in Jim Cornette’s office. Yuppers, all of them. Cornette tellsKong that her title match against ODB at the ppv is a one-on-one matter, and that the rest of the Kongtourage will not be involved in any way. In fact, they’re all banned from ringside. Raisha Saeed yells “Silence!” Cornette cuts her off and tells her he’s sick of hearing that from her. He tells them all off, and Sojourner Bolt gets in his face over it. She calls Borash a cracker, and talks like Borash somehow keeps Cornette from getting a beatdown. Cornette throws the Kongtourage out of his office, and has JB take his blood pressure. No such luck, as Booker T and Sharmell enter. Booker wants to be e referee tonight, particularly in Shane Sewell’s match. Cornette says no.

To the back! The Beautiful people, in all their pre-Palin glory, are seriously unhappy. They intend to destroy Taylor Wilde and Roxxi. Lots of bleeping here. I like it when they mean business. Not in the same way my comrades on the Thursday night threads do, but who cares?

Match #2: Shane Sewell defeats Sheik Abdul Bashir by DQ: Ye gods! Is Sewell a wrestler or a referee or both? How can he even be both, as he got fired for getting physical with wrestlers when he was a referee. Fired as a referee. Hired back as a wrestler. That would have been fine. But hired back as a wrestler who is also a referee sometimes, even though that’s what got him fired in the first place? I need a drink. Too bad “Impact” is on Thursdays so I can’t participate in the Official TNA “Impact” Drinking Game. We have the obligatory ref bump, which gives Booker T a reason to come to the ring with a ref shirt. Two other refs try to make him leave, but he ignores them. He can, after all. Booker kicked Sewell in the head, and the overly-done pull-apart brawl ensues.

To the back! JB asks Sting about his title match involving Kurt Angle. Sting says that if anyone other than he holds the World Heavyweight title, it will be tarnished. JB asks if that includes Angle. Sting won’t answer.

Match #3: The Beautiful People defeat Taylor Wilde and Roxxi: Good. They needed to. There was much brawling and knocking out of Roxxi outside the ring so that Taylor Wilde could be demolished in the ring. Taylor Wilde does nothing for me at all. Sure, for some people, there’s the bangability factor, but in terms of both wrestling and speaking, she’s just not there. Not-Palin makes the save, sans shoes. It goes without saying that she should have been introduced as another name as soon as the “prank” was over, but to still not have an identity for her is absurd. If she can’t be called Daffney, call her something else that has no connection whatever to the words “governor,” “Sarah,” or “Palin.”

Kiyoshi “Rough Cuts” segment, part two. Very well done, but it would have had more effect to use it to actually introduce him.

Match #4: Brutus Magnus defeats Shark Boy: Stone Cold Shark Boy. I had really hoped that gimmick had died. Shark Boy does not perform nearly as well as he did when he was teaming with D-Ray 3000, and that’s a fact. Sad, but fact. Meh. Despite the lousy name, Magnus has a decent look, and a decent voice. Screaming at the end of his first promo didn’t work very well, and the in-ring work was pretty bad. Note to Tenay and West – if you’re going to pimp a new finisher, make sure that the move in question is in fact new (sort of) and is capable of actually finishing a match. Magnus wasn’t done any favors by having a weak finishing move after the announcers built it up.

To the back! Kurt Angle insists that the Main Event Mafia is just fine, and that there is no tension, dissension, or anything else.

Match #5: Matt Morgan defeats Rhino by DQ: Back on jobbing duty already? Harsh. Morgan countered the Gore! Gore! I Voted for Gore! with the Carbon Footprint. On the positive side, Abyss came out with two bags of thumbtacks. He gave Morgan a Black Hole Slam, poured out the thumbtacks, and teased a chokeslam onto the aforementioned thumbtacks. Morgan bailed first. Abyss then gives what could very well be the best promo of his TNA career. He says that his true best friend’s name isn’t Chris, it’s Abyss. He’s endured a great deal, including abusive fathers, shock therapy, and storylines more messed up than Chinese scoliosis. Ok, that last one wasn’t actually mentioned, but we all know that he was thinking it. He punches the thumbtacks, embedding them in his knuckles and bleeding profusely. He says that he’ll prove it’s true that you always hurt the ones you care for most this weekend when he faces Morgan at the ppv. The one thing that would havemade it better would have been if Morgan had shown some kind of uncertainty about a full-on hardcore Monster Abyss coming back. Like when Triple H (I can’t believe that I’m giving credit here, but it’s true) reacted to Mick Foley’s announcement that Cactus Jack would be the one facing him at their match. It was like he had seen a ghost. A big, nasty, horrific ghost. It would have been a nice touch here.

Speaking of Mick Foley, to the back! He basically announces that Jeff Jarrett will be returning to “Impact” next week. Somehow, I think not telling us would have made for a better show. The occasional (good) surprise makes for a “must-see” program.   

Match #6: Team 3D defeats Kurt Angle and Sting by DQ: How many DQ finishes do you really need in one night??? Particularly when you’re trying to make people shell out money for a pay-per-view? Jeebus. Angle refused to tag in Sting, flipping him off twice when he reached out to be tagged. Steiner gets involved first, but the actual DQ results from Booker T’s interference. More MEM infighting as we get a recap of the ppv card.

Final Thoughts: Too many DQ finishes across the board. The announcement of a last-second X-Division title defense and the Abyss promo were the only things that might have made people want to pay for the show if they hadn’t wanted to earlier. Better than last week’s show by far, but so is a monkey with an upset stomach.  

“Against All Odds” Predictions:

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Kurt Angle vs. Brother Ray vs. Brother Devon vs. champion Sting

Angle pins Sting and takes the title. Neither member of Team 3D is going to win it, and if Angle and Jarrett’s final encounter is going to be over the title, Angle has to win it here. Even if that weren’t true, it’s Angle. Do you need to ask? Samoa Joe and/or AJ Styles may make an appearance, and whether Kevin Nash gets involved or not, those appearances may have an effect on this match.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
“Black Machismo” Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed vs. champions Beer Money

If there is any form of god at all, Beer Money retains. I just have a sinking feeling that Lethal Consequences is going to win in an ill-conceived attempt to shake up the tag team division. Please let me be wrong.

TNA X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Eric Young vs. champion Alex Shelley

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
ODB vs. champion Awesome Kong

Kong retains. There’s no reason at all to put the belt on ODB. The entire Knockouts division has been a non-entity, and the title means nothing. If Kong gets a win without her Kongtourage, perhaps she’ll kick them to the curb, make a face turn, and then the abundance of female heels can go up against her. Or something.

Legends Champion Booker T vs. Shane Sewell

Booker wins this one. Sewell beat Bashir, and that was fine, but no way is a referee, even if he was/is a wrestler, going over a Legend and MEM member.

Abyss vs. “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan

Abyss needs the win here. If he’s reverting back to his old Monster ways, getting beaten here won’t help at all. If he loses, he needs to obliterate Morgan post-match. Brutally.

“Maple Leaf Muscle” Petey Williams vs. “Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner

If the Front Line is coming back better, stronger, and faster, Petey has to win here. He needs the vengeance, and the MEM needs some losses. Steiner can barely move. Please let Petey use this as an excuse to change his look!

I’ll be back either Sunday night or Monday evening with my review of “Against All Odds.” Hey, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

1.  Plaxico Burress is a dumbass.  If you need to be carrying a gun on you when going to a nightclub, then it probably isn’t worth going to.  And now you’re suspended for the rest of the season without pay.  As Nelson from The Simpsons would say, “HA, HA!”

2.  Why is Ozzy Osbourne in War of Warcraft commercials?  Does he need money that bad?  I know Sharon likes to spend money, but he shouldn’t be broke yet, should he???

3.  Brother Love was released from the WWE earlier this week.  I didn’t even know he still worked there.

4.  TNA has a pay per view tonight, I’m gonna save $30 and watch The Simpsons instead.

5.  If anyone has a chance, check out Kid Rock’s VH1 Storytellers.  You will not be disappointed.

6.  So, this week we had the privilege of seeing Jack Swagger vs. Ricky Ortiz on ECW this past Tuesday.  Wow what a crap fest that was. It was like being forced to watch two 0-10 NFL teams play each other on Monday Night Football.  The crowd was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.  But at least Swagger (the lesser of 2 evils) won and we don’t have to hear about Ortiz being undefeated no more.

7.  D.J. Gabriel sucks ass!!!

8.  Hornsowggle has a H pin on his suit now, how nice.

9.  I’m not looking forward to tomorrows 3 hour RAW.  I feel bad for those who have to review it.

10.  Speaking of RAW, I kinda like the idea of HBK becoming JBL’s servant,  Santino is still awesome, and let’s hope that CM Punk wins the IC tournament.

11.  And now Smackdown: The Khali kiss cam is horrendously stupid, yet I find myself watching most of it and fast forward thru the really stupid part of it.  Edge is a 6 time champion, not too bad for someone who started his WWE career following a blood spitting vampire.  It was good to see that HHH and Jeff Hardy not bury every tag team on Smackdown.  Speaking of tag teams, good to see that Hawkins & Ryder still work for WWE.  Welcome back Hurricane Helms, I just have to get used to you with long hair.  I totally forgot that Chavo still worked for WWE.  And finally the Steel cage match was great.

12.  Now to Impact, ugh:  First of all, F*** Eric Young.  Yeah, I’m on that bandwagon.  I was actually kinda shocked that Rhino beat Sting (it could’ve been the beer, I was drunk when it happened).  The whole Sarah Palin as part of the beautiful people is lame.  I don’t know, when it comes to my Impact thoughts, I have nothing besides “it sucks!”  Oh and Drowgoddess’ reviews are excellent!

Well I think that’s all for now, have a great week everyone and as always, thanks for reading!