.

This week on BWFRadio, we talk about the fallout from WWE Survivor Series, including the arrival of Sting, which the crew is split on as far as how big of a deal it actually was.  We discuss the following night on RAW, and our thoughts about the Anonymous RAW General Manager returning next week, despite having been revealed as Hornswoggle a while back.  We praise Lucha Underground as a must-see show for wrestling fans.

In the second half, we talk about what everybody is talking about – CM Punk’s appearance on Colt Cabana’s “Art of Wrestling” podcast.  We try to be objective as we talk about such topics as Punk’s accusations against WWE’s doctor (including a story from 2010 revolving around last week’s guest Charlie Haas), Triple H’s reputation for not putting talent over, and of course Ryback’s botches in matches and spots with Punk.

Also in the news, Yoshi Tatsu is injured at the hands of AJ Styles, Scott Steiner signs with Global Force Wrestling, Jeff Hardy can work Canada (with some restrictions), and Mike Tenay may no longer be doing commentary when IMPACT returns on Destination America in January.  All this and more on BWF Radio!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 154 (MP3, 2:14:50)

This week’s break song was “Going To Hell” by The Pretty Reckless.  Buy it here!

The post BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 154 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

30 minutes home, the rest here, blah blah blah just click the link.

RAW kicks off with The Authority.  Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are more than happy to announce that Daniel Bryan’s doctor has not cleared him to compete for at least the rest of the month, which means that there will be no stretcher match, and your new WWE World Heavyweight Champion is once again Vacant, who will defend in a six-man ladder match at Money In The Bank, which will also include Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton among others.  I’m sure we’ll see all the memes tomorrow.  And another order of business, Seth Rollins adapted, so Triple H expects Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns to perish – especially when they face The Wyatt Family in six man tag team action tonight.  Or maybe it’ll be a handicap match since the Shield probably can’t find a partner.

Syxx!

Sheamus takes on Bad News Barrett in a Money In The Bank qualifying match.  And wins with the Brogue Kick, despite Barrett dominating most of the match.

The Wyatts cut a promo on The Shield and the urges of man.

Sixx!

Lana comes out, babbles about something, introduces Rusev, the usual crap.  The jobber of the week for Rusev is Zack Ryder.  Woo Woo Woo, you’re jobbing.

Six!

RybAxel are in the ring, which is in Minneapolis, which is the home of the Hennigs, which is of course where Curtis Axel comes from.  Their opponents are Goldust, and Cody Rhodes’ chosen partner for him, R-Truth.  Axel pins Goldust with a rollup.

Layla cuts a promo on Summer Rae and Minneapolis while getting her makeup done.  And then Summer Rae pours milk on her and dumps the makeup table over.

Sixth!

3MB are in the house!  Heath Slater says The Shield were supposed to be here to talk.  3MB doesn’t talk…  Sierra.  Hotel.  India.  Echo.  Lima.  Delta.  Shield.  The two members of The Shield head down, and 3MB aren’t running.  In fact, they go after Reigns and Ambrose, and 3MB put up a good fight – but The Shield still dominate.  Slater tries to escape, but he gets speared out of nowhere by Reigns.  Ambrose gets the mic.  He says The Shield were untouchable and will go down as one of the greatest groups ever.  They beat everybody.  Even Evolution.  But they had a cancer inside of them, and it’s name was Seth Rollins.  Everybody knows somebody like Rollins who would sell out.  Ambrose is going to re-arrange the face of Rollins when he gets ahold of him.  The Shield are looking forward to hearing Triple H’s words coming out of Rollins’ mouth later tonight.  They’ll listen to every word, then beat the hell out of him.  Reigns says Rollins committed the most unforgivable sin.  He’s the scum of the earth.  You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t piss in the wind, and you don’t stab your brothers in the back.  Reigns says that Rollins is only part of the problem – the other problems are Orton and Triple H.  Reigns says Orton is the ass of this company.  Then when he gets done with Orton, he’s coming for Triple H.  “We’re going to have our own game of thrones – Believe that!”

Six! Six! Six!

The WWE Tag Team Champions the Usos are in action.  Will the titles be on the line?  Of course not!  Their opponents are Fandango (accompanied by a very upset Layla) and a ribbon dancing Damien Sandow.  Sandow does interpretive dance throughout the match, but it costs him.  One Uso takes out Fandango, the other one hits the Superfly splash, and the Usos pick up another victory.

Pier Six! (Our boy Frankie Feathers works there!)

Xavier Woods (whose Power Rangers t-shirt you can get through our boys at Booker Tees) is no longer using Ernest Miller’s old music, but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t get a TV entrance anyway.  His opponent is Bo Dallas.  I Bo-lieve I’m going to FFW.  Bo says Daniel Bryan has a lot of anger inside, and there’s only one way for Daniel to come back stronger than ever.  The secret is for him to Bolieve!  Bo wins with the Acid Drop Bo Dog.

WrestleMania VI!

Paul Heyman puts over Brock Lesnar, who attended the University of Minnesota and feels that this is the ideal place for a WrestleMania victory party.  It’s Paul’s honor to tell you that your next WWE World Heavyweight Champion wants to celebrate tonight his history making moment at WrestleMania!  Paul Heyman presents to you, the winner of the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania, Cesaro!  Cesaro is taking on RVD in a Money In The Bank qualifying match.  Considering the rumors we’ve heard regarding Cesaro, I don’t think he’s losing this match.  And indeed, he picks up the win with the Neutralizer.

Um… Sicks? I’m running out of ideas!

Michael Cole is in the ring and welcomes Seth Rollins.  Rollins is in a nice all black suit.  Rollins doesn’t see what the controversy is all about.  He created The Shield, and he feels he has the right to destroy it.  He says that Reigns and Abrose are nothing without him.  Cole says that The Shield was about three individuals coming together as one, not just one man.  Rollins says we’ll find out when “the pathetic remnants of The Shield” have their last hurrah against the Wyatt Family.  The Shield conquered the world.  They beat Evolution in a clean sweep.  Rollins learned from Evolution that to be a success in this business, you have to evolve.  You have to adapt.  The fans tell him he sold out.  He says he bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins.  It took guts to do what he did last week, and everybody is fixated on the fact that he stabbed his “brothers” in the back.  To Rollins, they were just business partners, and he severed a business relationship.  For two years he came out and said believe in The Shield.  Every night what he meant was that everybody better start believing in Seth Rollins.  He’s heard Ambrose say that they’d listen to Seth say his piece and then come kick the hell out of him.  Well, he’s said his piece.  It doesn’t take long for Ambrose and Reigns to head to the ring.  Rollins doesn’t back down – the the lights go out and Erick Rowan and Luke Harper are in the ring with the former members of The Shield.  Reigns and Ambrose take out Harper and Rowan, but Bray Wyatt prevents them from getting to Rollins.  The Wyatts pick the bones of The Shield until John Cena comes out to make the save.  Apparently Reigns and Ambrose have their partner for tonight.

Um… Sticks?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – Paige is taking on Alicia Fox in a non-title match.  Except Aksana is with Fox this time.  Paige wins with the PTO – Paige’s Tap Out.  Aksana helps Alicia back to her feet.  Alicia slaps the shit out of Aksana.  Then she steals water and popcorn from fans at ringside, and dumps it all on Aksana.  FWIW, the logo on the popcorn is covered up, so I think it’s safe to say the people she’s taking that stuff from are plants.  She hugs Aksana and says she’s sorry before shoving popcorn down her throat.

Chicks?

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are in the ring.  Zeb’s sign urges us to deport Jack’s opponent, Santino.  No Emma?  Interesting.  But not interesting enough for me to not hit FFW!  Swagger wins with the gutwrench powerbomb after Colter slaps Swagger to get him motivated.

Licks?

Backstage, Cody Rhodes says he’s got the perfect partner for Goldust, somebody who will magnify the magnificence of Goldust, and we’ll apparently find out who that is next week.

Stephanie McMahon is upset about John Cena getting involved in her business over the last couple of weeks.  Triple H says it doesn’t matter, The Shield will end tonight.  Vickie Guerrero comes in and says she’s here to celebrate the fact that there’s no more Daniel Bryan or Brad Maddoxx.  Then she sneezes on the champagne.  Stephanie threatens to fire her again.

Main event time!  But I’m tired and don’t have 20 minutes left in me.  So FFW!  I skip ahead to about 2 minutes left in the show.  Cena gets taken out with Sister Abigail.  Reigns is all alone with the Wyatt Family, but he hits a Superman punch on Wyatt, tosses Rowan out of the ring, but catches a big boot from Harper.  But Harper gets hit with a spear by Reigns moments later to give The Shield and John Cena the victory, much to the chagrin of Triple H and Seth Rollins backstage.

Thoughts:  You mean RAW can end without Triple H standing over fallen opponents?  That’s a thing?!?  Wow!  Better show than last week IMO, but still, 3 hours is far too long.  Add in that I didn’t get this copy of RAW until after 2 AM and you’ve got to figure I wasn’t really up for this show.  Oh well.  Happy birthday BWF!  And we’ll see you Sunday for BWF Radio!

The post WWE RAW 6/9/14 – BWF 6th Birthday Edition! appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

 I’ll be the first to admit that the timing makes absolutely no sense. They were coming off a series of big wins and they were at their absolute highest. They were faces and they were on top. Then Seth had to go and hit them with a chair. He broke the Shield with a chair.

Nevar 4get

I’m not going to try and debate that. I AM going to try and debate that, in the end, Seth was the BEST choice to betray the Shield. Shocking I know. We can all admit that Reigns was definitely the worst guy to turn, but the one we expected to. He’s a jacked dude and basically Batista and Triple H light. Dean Ambrose is the natural heel so he would have been seen as the best choice by many. He’s also going to be someone who would be able to thrive if the Shield died. So is Reigns, obviously.

Seth Rollins is not.

He’s a small guy and they have a history of putting down the small guy. Dean can talk and he can fight. Reigns can just smash things like he’s the Hulk. It’s very easy to say that Triple H scared Seth, and convinced him that no matter what, the Shield would eventually die and he, Triple H, would not. He’s the boss for God’s sake. The Shield put Evolution down twice but it’s not like they stopped them. Trips was about to announce another match with them when Batista quit. Week after week Triple H tried to wear down the Shield, and you can easily say that he succeeded with one of them.

The timing is absolutely God awful, but if you look, the reasoning is there.

No matter what, I can still believe in the Shield. Yes, that is a picture of my actual soap.

The post Seth Had The Most To Lose appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Well, this should be interesting.  Let’s go.

Triple H says Evolution isn’t done with The Shield until there is no more Shield.  But Batista has other plans.  He wants his promised shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship tonight.  Triple H says that’s impossible since the Champion is injured, but after they take care of The Shield, he’ll get what’s coming to him.  Batista says he understands – and he quits.

Ready for Raw tonight. #Bluetista pic.twitter.com/LTAXi7GYv6

— Grant Leat (@GrantLeat) May 19, 2014

Did you download the WWE App?  Because there was some exclusive content that you can only get on the WWE App.  Let’s show it to you now, right here on the USA Network!  Batista says he was lied to since he’s been back and he’s leaving.

WWE United States Champion Sheamus teams with Rob Van Dam to take on WWE Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett and Cesaro.  Paul Heyman is great on commentary, as usual.  Standard tag team match here, until Sheamus tries to Brogue Kick Cesaro.  Heyman pulls his client out of the ring and the duo head to the back, leaving Barrett to fall victim to a Brogue Kick and a Five-Star Frog Splash, giving RVD and Sheamus the win.

That ONE guy had to give a negative review of RVD’s frog splash…

“Lance Stephenson” comes out – and of course that’s Damien Sandow dressed like the Indiana Pacers player of the same name.  He shows off his basketball “skills” and says that LeBron James is the greatest player of all time before The Big Show comes out.  Sandow says the time for trash talking is over and challenges Show to try to score a basket on him.  So, the babyface that he is, Show throws the basketball at Sandow’s crotch, then knocks him out before slam dunking on the comically low net and breaking it.  Yawn.

I don’t follow basketball.  I’m a hockey guy.  But apparently the Miami Heat eliminated the Indiana Pacers.  You know why?  Because they BO-LIEVED!  Well, according to Bo Dallas anyway.  The match is between Bo and Kofi Kingston, a match that was booked for Payback but never happened thanks to Kane destroying Kofi.  Bo wins with the Acid Drop the BoDog.

Sa-BO! Just for you Jorge!

Stephanie McMahon, who wore a black dress instead of one that would show if she pissed herself a-la the one she wore at Payback, says that Daniel Bryan is so selfish that he put himself over everybody, including his wife, when he chose to keep the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.  Then she babbles about Brie slapping her before announcing that the main event at Payback, should Daniel Bryan be cleared to wrestle, will be Bryan defending the title against Kane in a stretcher match (because those never suck, amirite?).  If he’s not cleared to compete, then the Money In The Bank ladder match will be for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.  And if this segment weren’t bad enough, here comes John Cena.  Cena says that Bryan won’t give her the title because she has him fearing he wouldn’t get another chance at it.  Jokes about surgeries and whose had them (yes, Cena alludes to Stephanie’s implants), and long (and I mean long) story short, Stephanie books Cena vs. Kane.  Right now.

Welcome to WWE Peeback!

Kane vs. Cena.  Seen it before.  Couldn’t FFW it this time.  Cena wins by DQ when Kane wouldn’t let him out of the corner before a 5 count.  After the match, Kane tries to tombstone Cena on the steel steps but Cena gets away and takes Kane out by throwing the steps at him.  As Cena leaves, Kane sits up.

Backstage, Randy Orton tells Renee Young that he and Triple H are on the same page, and tonight he’ll face Roman Reigns.

The book Triple H and Randy Orton are on the same page of. “Big…. A… Lit-tle… A…”

Los Matadores take on 3MB, and Hornswoggle has an afro wig on.  Which gets snatched off by El Torito, distracting Heath Slater enough to get rolled up by one of the Matadores for the pinfall.

Literally the topic of conversation throughout the match by the commentators.

Nikki Bella apparently said she wished Brie was around, so Stephanie put her in a handicap match against FoxSana.  Of course Alica Fox and Aksana win, and then after the match they continue to beat down Nikki.

Elsewhere, Luke Harper tells Erick Rowan they have to take up Bray Wyatt’s cause and take out the Usos for interfering.

Good advice for WWE writers. STOP DUPLICATING YOUR STORYLINES.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, Jack Swagger takes on Adam Rose!  Hey, that’s right, that match happened on SmackDown.  With the same result – Adam Rose wins with the Party Foul.

The WWE writers are all wearing this shirt.

The Usos cut a promo saying they’ll do whatever it takes to stop the Wyatts.  Which still wasn’t enough, apparently, because once again Harper and Rowan beat the WWE Tag Team Champions in a non-title match.  What’s that, like 3 times now?

Was this actually an Einstein quote?

Speaking of rematches, we get Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio in a Money In The Bank qualifiying match.  Del Rio wins with the cross armbreaker.

The official theme song of the WWE writing staff. Especially since we just got three consecutive rematches.

Cody Rhodes has found Goldust a new partner to take on RybAxel.  It’s Sin Cara.  Who does the job.  I think I see where this storyline is going, but I don’t give enough of a shit to talk about it here.  Maybe Sunday on BWF Radio.

Never saw this one. I like it!

So at this point it’s like 10:50.  Main event time, right?  Wrong.  Rusev has some kind of stupid ceremony for a fake version of a real award.  Then they play the Russian national anthem.  Where’s Nikolai Volkoff when we need him?

Oh. Right.

11PM.  The Shield make their way out to the ring.  They say they adapted instead of perishing, and they are a unit, while Evolution were just strangers who happened to be on the same side of the ring.  Orton and Triple H come out, but Triple H is brandishing a sledgehammer, prompting Seth Rollins to get a couple of chairs in defense.  Triple H says there’s always a plan b, and this is it – SETH ROLLINS HITS ROMAN REIGNS WITH A CHAIR!  Dean Ambrose looks on, stunned, until Rollins turns his attention toward him and beats him down with the chair as well, culminating with the Blackout on to the chair.  Orton gets in and beats down Reigns with the chair, tearing his shirt off to reveal the bruises from the assault before RKOing Reigns on to the chair.  RAW ends with Triple H, Randy Orton, and Seth Rollins standing over Reigns and Ambrose.

Thoughts:  The only thing worth talking about from this show is the last 15 minutes.  Now you have to tune in to the rest of the shows to find out why Rollins turned on The Shield.  Can’t wait for that explanation.  Oh well, I’m out.  Later folks.

The post WWE RAW 6/2/14: Payback for Payback? appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch 30 minutes, leave, then watch the whole show from the beginning, just so you don’t have to.  Maybe that’s why ratings are slumping?

The Authority kick off RAW and basically reiterate the story so far.  Daniel Bryan is hurt and should do what’s best for business, Evolution is mad at The Shield, blah blah blah.  Triple H says the contract signing for The Shield vs. Evolution elimination match at Payback is scheduled for tonight.  Stephanie calls out Brad Maddox.  Triple H admonishes him for allowing Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns to be on commentary for the Seth Rollins vs. Batista match last week.  Maddox apologizes, Stephanie sics Kane on him, then fires him following a chokeslam and tombstone.

He couldn’t at least get him a DiGiorno?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – Rob Van Dam takes on Cesaro.  Bad News Barrett is at ringside, and he’ll be defending the Intercontinental Championship against RVD at Payback.  We also find out that Cesaro will face Sheamus for the United States Championship.  Barrett distracts RVD and Cesaro steals the win with a bridging German Suplex.  Then Sheamus (the face), jumps Cesaro and hits him with the Brogue Kick, much to the chagrin of Paul Heyman.

Eva Marie (with one of the Bellas, I think it’s Nikki but I’m not paying that much attention) faces Summer Rae, and the crowd goes silent.  So I’m confused.  Both are using heel moves, and both were presented as heels and never really had a face turn… I’m putting too much thought into this.  Fandango and Layla come out and dance on the stage, then kiss.  Eva rolls up Summer and pins her.  Woopity doo.

Cody Rhodes and Goldust tell Randy Orton and Batista that they’re issuing an open challenge to any tag team.  They tell “The Skinny-Jeans Sell Out and RK-Blows” because Triple H isn’t in his office.  When he comes in, he makes the match.  Orton & Batista vs. Cody Rhodes & Goldust.

Drew McIntyre takes on El Torito.  Ugh.  I like the Torito/Hornswoggle matches, but it’s a little ridiculous when this little dude in a bull costume is beating grown men on a regular basis.  Los Matadores distract McIntyre, Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater attack them, but it’s too late – Torito recovers and winds up picking up the win.  After the match, Hornswoggle attacks Torito and rips his tail off.

New meaning to this phrase, I guess.

Los Matadores are with the trainer, who tells them he’s not a veterinarian.

Tennessee – we’re here.  The arena is illuminated with cell phones again, just like last week.  Bray Wyatt is the necessary evil that the world so badly needs.  John Cena is enemy to us all.  At Payback, Wyatt will be the last man standing.  He doesn’t believe Cena should be the only one punished.  Cena’s the king.  Speaking of kings, Jerry Lawler.  He wants a word with Lawler, but Lawler says no.  Harper and Rowan come out after him, Wyatt just wants to have a talk.  JBL tries to play hero and gets assaulted by Harper and Rowan and taken out with Harper’s discus clothesline.  The family escort Lawler to the ring.  Wyatt grills Lawler about putting over Cena over the years.  Then something happens to my feed and the next thing I know Cena is in the ring and getting beaten down while Wyatt holds Lawler in the corner.  Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail on Lawler, which he says is all Cena’s fault, and the Usos make the save.  Cena babbles on about Abraham Lincoln or something.  Blah blah blah last man standing, Payback’s a bitch.

Woo woo woo, you know it?  Zack Ryder is actually on TV – and carrying an American flag, which means he’s jobbing to Rusev.  He gets one half of a sentence out before Lana interrupts him, so yeah, called it.  Blah blah blah, Vladimir Putin, blah blah blah.  Doesn’t take long before Ryder is in the Accolade and tapping out.  Big E comes out to make the save, and actually manages to knock Rusev out of the ring.  He then waves the flag.

Stephanie McMahon is backstage with Alberto Del Rio for whatever reason.

Remember when Ryder had a career? Me neither.

We’re getting skinny jeans sellout and RK-Blows against Goldust and Cody Rhodes next.  Orton drops Rhodes with two RKOs for the win.  Or so we thought – it was an elimination match.  Cody has to leave, so now it’s Orton & Batista against Goldust in a 2-on-1 no-holds-barred match.  And so Boreton and Bootista destroy one of the few entertaining characters left on this show.  Hooray.

The RAW audience at this point in time.

Sin Cara is in the ring.  I’m going to pause my video here.  I want to guess who his opponent is.  Based on the way these shows have been booked, typically a guy who wrestles on SmackDown after we haven’t seen him in a while faces the same opponent on RAW.  So I’m guessing Bo Dallas.  And I’m right.  JBL is back and puts over Harper’s clothesline.  Cole says Bo made his WWE debut this past Friday.  Apparently we forgot about his program with Wade Barrett last year.  He babbles on about somethingorother.  I’m going to share the sentiment of the NXT fans this past Thursday – “BO-LEAVE, BO-LEAVE, BO-LEAVE!”  Sin Hunico puts on a good showing, but this is Bo Dallas’s debut, so of course he wins with the Acid Drop “Bo-Dog.”  Ugh.  He gets the mic and thanks his Bolievers and gives some more motivational speech BS.

LSD! LSD! LSD!

Stephanie McMahon comes back and calls out Daniel Bryan.  She reiterates that she could strip him of the title if she wanted to.  He acknowledges that there is no shame in turning over the belt and recovering at home, but he says that it would negate everything if he did.  So he says a word she’s probably never heard before.  NO!  She says his ego is getting in the way of common sense.  She mentions that Brie shoved her two weeks ago.  She’s going to give Bryan one more chance to do the right thing.  At Payback, he’ll decide if he surrenders the title, or if Stephanie takes action against Brie and makes sure she is fired.

I think Daniel Bryan probably makes enough money for himself and Brie to live comfortably. I’d keep the title.

Alicia Fox is facing Paige at Payback for the WWE Divas Championship, but right now she’s got Emma.  Fox pretends to leave after getting hit with the Emmamite Sandwich, but attacks as Emma tries to go after her.  Eventually Emma wins with a rollup.  Because nothing says credibility for a challenger than losing a match on the go-home show to the PPV.  Fox attacks Emma after the match.  Then she  goes and rings the bell in Jerry Lawler’s ear and keeps screaming “I AM NOT A LOSER.”  Then she starts beating up some of the staff at ringside, giving one poor guy a wedgie.  Then she takes two cans of soda out from under the ring and starts spraying them all over the place and all over herself.  Then she apologizes to the wedgie guy and kisses him.

Go crazy? Don’t mind if I do!

The pre-show match for Payback is announced as a mask vs. hair match between Hornswoggle and El Torito.  Davey Crockett is here.  Well, it’s Damien Sandow dressed as Davey Crockett.  He’s apparently upset because some guy earlier thought he was one of the rosebuds – and it’s party time on RAW!  Oh oh oh oh oh, OH OH OH OH OH!  Adam Rose takes on Davey Crockett.  Rose is rolling, but he’s interrupted by Jack Swagger, who has kidnapped a lemon.  Crockett tries to attack from behind but Rose turns it around into the Party Foul for the victory.  Swagger attacks Rose after the match.  Rose battles back though, and disposes Swagger from the ring.

“This isn’t going to be funny either, the United States Champion Sheamus against Alberto Del Rio, the collision’s next, live on RAW!”  No, that’s not funny.  That’s actually terrible.  How many times do we have to suffer through this match?

PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

You all know how this match goes.  You’ve all seen it.  And since Sheamus attacked Cesaro earlier, you can expect retaliation as well.  Sheamus actually wins with the Brogue Kick, but Paul Heyman takes Justin Roberts’ microphone and insults Sheamus, puts over Brock Lesnar conquering the streak, and tells him this match means nothing because it wasn’t against a Paul Heyman guy – and Cesaro assaults Sheamus.

Our main event of the evening is a contract signing.  Yay.  The Shield come out first and dispose of the table and chairs in the ring.  Triple H babbles on about something.  I’m really not paying attention to the promos tonight, lol.  The Shield sign, then throw the contract to Evolution, who also sign.  Then Evolution gets in the ring and we’ve got a brawl.  The Shield have the upperhand until Triple H gets a shovel sledgehammer.  Evolution take out The Shield, then dismantle the announce table.  They hit a triple powerbomb on Reigns through the announce table.  RAW ends with the Triple H led heel faction standing over the popular babyfaces.  Imagine that.

Thoughts:  RAW is SNORE!  I’ve got nothing.  I really wasn’t paying much attention throughout the show.  Oh well.  Goodnight.

The post WWE RAW 5/26/14 – RAW is Memorial Day appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch 30 minute of RAW then leave for work to watch the rest here and type up what happened, mostly so YOU don’t have to suffer through it yourself.  Aren’t you lucky to know me?

Interesting start – The Wyatt Family cut off the signature open at the start of the show.  Never seen that done before.  The people of London have their lighters out and it makes for an awesome visual.  In our dreams we’re superheroes, but in real life we aren’t, and we cannot fix everything.  This is an awesome opening promo, and he has the crowd, if you’ll pardon the expression, in the palm of his hand.  He is the necessary evil in this world to balance everything out.  He promises at Payback he will be the last man standing, or no one will ever stand again.  Cena (the face in this feud, mind you) sneak attacks Bray Wyatt from behind with an AA and escapes from Luke Harper and Erick Rowan.

He’s got the whole world in his hands… Or at least he’s got all of London in his hands.

Unlike Bray Wyatt, Paul Heyman is having a difficult time to get the crowd to do what he wants – which is to boo him.  They are singing along with him despite his best efforts to heel it up.  His client Cesaro takes on the United States Champion, Sheamus.  It’s actually a pretty decent match, but in the end, Cesaro picks up the win with a bridging German suplex off of a Paul Heyman distraction.  Sheamus applauds Cesaro getting one over on him and offers a handshake.  Cesaro feigns acceptance, but instead he walks right by Sheamus and shakes hands with Heyman outside of the ring instead.

The Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now a no-holds-barred elimination match.

Good story behind this.. pic.twitter.com/0aIdX3IGzq

— Roman Reigns (@WWERomanReigns) May 15, 2014

We have the GERMAN announce table ringside tonight.  Meanwhile, we’re having a beat the clock challenge to determine the number one contender for the Intercontinental Championship at Payback, and it kicks off with Big E taking on Ryback, who has Curtis Axel in his corner.  There’s apparently going to be eight matches in this challenge, I wonder if they’re all going to be on tonight’s show or if it will spread out over a couple of weeks.  We’ll see, I guess.  This match comes up on 5 minutes as the crowd chants “we want Barrett.”    Big E picks up the victory in 5:02 with the Big Ending.

R-Truth comes out with The Funkadactyls.  Fandango and Layla make their way out to the ring as the London fans remind everybody that Fandangoing was a thing.  This is a mixed tag match.  Or at least it’s supposed to be.  Summer Rae storms the ring, then forces a kiss on Fandango before assaulting Layla.  Fandango manages to pull Fandango out of the ring – and apparently Summer Rae is supposed to be a face now.  Or something like that.  Who knows.

Pictured: WWE Booking

Daniel Bryan is here!  YES!  YES!  YES!  A guy that just had neck surgery on…  Oh – it’s Stephanie McMahon mocking his entrance.  She tells us Bryan underwent successful neck surgery.  Daniel Bryan is your champion, and he knows you need an active champion.  Since she knows Bryan is hanging on her every word.  She brings up a clip of Bad News Barrett saying he’s afraid he’s got some bad news – then she gets booed for attempting to imitate it.  She’s thinking of stripping Bryan of the WWE Championship and awarding it to Kane.  Or maybe Bad News Barrett.  Or Batista.  Or Triple H.  But she is not going to strip Bryan of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but she demands Bryan show up at RAW next week and do the right thing – personally surrender the title, because that’s what’s best for business.

^ What I think of when I hear “Stephanie McMahon” and “stripping” in the same sentence.

THE UNION JACKS ARE BACK!  Heath Slater is in action with Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal in his corner.  And their theme music is a knockoff of “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones.  They’re interrupted by Lana’s music.  She puts over Vladimir Putin before introducing Rusev.  Slater tries to attack before the match.  Nope.  The rest of the Union Jacks don’t fare any better.  Once the bell rings, Slater tries to fight Rusev, but his flurry of offense doesn’t last long.  Lana gives the order for Rusev to crush, and it’s only a matter of time before Slater is tapping out in the Accolade.

Nobody’s done this yet?

The Shield think Evolution might be afraid.  Reigns shows off his stitches and asks if that’s all Evolution’s got.  Rollins says that unlike two weeks ago on SmackDown, he won’t make any mistakes in his match against Batista.

Rob Van Dam takes on Alberto Del Rio in a Beat the Clock Challenge.  The time to beat is 5:02.  I know what a match between these two will look like, so I FFW.  Del Rio doesn’t wear kneepads anymore.  He stole Cody Rhodes’ old gimmick.  RVD ducks a kick and rolls up Del Rio for the victory, and now has the new time to beat, 4:15.

Renee Young interviews John Cena about his game plan.  He says it’s the same as last week – invite The Usos.  Then he babbles on for a little while.  Then they all bang on their chests for a little while.  Elsewhere, Evolution says what Orton did to Reigns was just a start.  Triple H says Batista should finish Seth Rollins.  He says he’ll do it all by himself.

That match is right now, actually.  Rollins comes out on his own.  Apparently everybody is banned from ringside.  Triple H’s music hits instead of Batista’s.  The COO comes out to the stage and is announced as the special guest ring announcer.  He adds special guest timekeeper Randy Orton.  I zone out for a few – it’s Snoreton’s fault.  Triple H announces Batista.  Rollins gets a mic and introduces his own special guests – special guest commentators, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns.  It’s implied by Ambrose that they were allowed to be the guest commentators by roughing up RAW GM Brad Maddox.  Evolution, rather than being over by the bell like a timekeeper and ring announcer should be are on the opposite side of the ring from where The Shield are doing commentary.  Rollins sends Batista to the floor with a dropkick and nails the suicide dive to the floor on him afterward.  Orton and Triple H look to get involved, which draws The Shield off of commentary.  Rollins gets hit with a spinebuster in the ring.  Orton and Triple H get involved again, shoving Rollins off the top rope, starting a brawl between the members of both groups that aren’t involved in the match.    Rollins ends up running into a right hand from The Game, and eats a Batista Bomb.  Triple H gets backdropped by Ambrose onto the announce table, but he’s taken off the apron by Batista, who catches a spear from Reigns.  It’s the three members of The Shield in the ring with Batista, but he escapes when Triple H distracts them.

Dean Ambrose. Titty Master.

Speaking of which – it’s a rematch from last week between Paige and Alicia Fox.  In another non-title match.  I’m interested in watching this match because I want to see where this whole Alicia Fox meltdown thing is going.  Alicia Fox actually manages to win the match.  She still flips out afterward, banging on the announce table, stealing Jerry Lawler’s crown and a drink from one of the fans in attendance, then pouring it on herself.

OMG! ALICIA FOX WON A MATCH AND DIDN’T INJURE ANYBODY!

The Wyatts say The Usos are just dominos in a line, one by one, they all fall down.

Mark Henry is up next in the “final beat the clock challenge match.”  That’s weird, I swear he said 8 matches earlier.  Upon further review, he said it was “A series of matches.”  Oh well.  Henry’s opponent is Dolph Ziggler.  Time to beat is 4:15.  Anybody taking Ziggler?  They make mention of the fact that it’s Andre The Giant’s birthday – it’s also Mrs. ThinkSoJoE’s birthday!  Ziggler nails the Zig Zab but doesn’t get the cover until time runs out.  So your number one contender is Rob Van Dam – whose music hits.  He comes out to the stage to celebrate, but he’s attacked from behind by Bad News Barrett with the Bull Hammer.  “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news.  You see Rob, because you beat the clock, that means you have to fight me for the Intercontinental Championship.  But not right now, because right now, we are in London.  My capital city.  And it just so happens that this is the home of Greenwich Mean Time.  Now Rob, you may have set the best time tonight, but it is in fact the English who set the time for the entire world.  And mark my words, Rob, there is no way in the world at Payback this Englishman is going to lose to a bloody yank.  Thank you very much.”

I’m afraid we’ve got some bad news too.

Renee Young welcomes Adam Rose.  The party is in full effect, complete with penguins and bunnies and cheeseburgers!  The people of London are into it.  He tells us the cheeseburger’s name is Ethan and he has sesame seeds on his buns.  The fans are so loud for this guy that Renee can’t get her questions out.  He says that he’s been trying to teach Jack Swagger and “Zebby” how to have fun.  Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger come out and Zeb asks “Raileen” what she’s doing in the ring with them.  Zeb says that Rose and the vermin he hangs out with are the problem with America and that he fits in better with “these freaks” than he does in America.  The fans sing Adam Rose’s theme song again.  Zeb says Rose has embarrassed him for the past two weeks and he doesn’t take embarrassment easily.  He asks Rose to get his people out of the ring and he’ll get Swagger out, and they’ll settle it right now.  Swagger takes a cheap shot on Rose, then threatens the Rose Party.  But he spends too much time doing so, and Rose recovers to take him out.  He tells Renee Young that sometimes you have to fight, but it’s party time ALL THE TIME!

P-A-R-T-Y? Because I GOTTA!

London.  We’re here.  Luke Harper vs. John Cena.  The rest of the Wyatt Family and the WWE Tag Team Champions the Usos are at ringside.  Meanwhile, check out this Definitive Ranking of the Best Celebrity Jorts on BuzzFeed.  Notice what famous jorts wearer doesn’t make the list.  Rowan dominates the match.  At least that’s how I see it from the various points I’ve fast forwarded to.  Cena gets the STF in, Harper gets the rope, Rowan tries to interfere, the Usos take him out, but Wyatt takes out both Usos with Sister Abigail.  Cena disposes of Wyatt, Harper hits a Michinoku Driver for two.  Rowan gets in a shot on Cena causing the disqualification, and despite Cena trying to fight back, Wyatt hits Sister Abigail.  The WWE fans in London sing in unison as Rowan and Harper further assault Cena.  They beat him all the way to the stage, and Wyatt hits Sister Abigail on Cena up there.  Wyatt closes RAW the same way he started it – singing “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands,” but this time, Harper counts to ten with Cena lying unconscious on the stage.

Thoughts:  Not a bad show.  The London ones rarely are – but that’s because the crowds are always awesome.  They like to call Canada “Bizzaro World” because the crowds are usually behind the heels – but the European crowds take the cake with that one.  And I love them for it.  Believe me, I’m sure a ton of them were there the night I still call the “GREATEST NIGHT EVER,” RAW in Jersey after WrestleMania last year.  Let’s see if the momentum continues into SmackDown this Friday night.

The post WWE RAW 5/19/2014 – What do you know about May 19th? appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.  You know my deal by now.  Watch at home, leave before it ends, watch again to review.  Just click the jump.

Sierra.  Hotel.  India.  Echo.  Lima.  Delta.  Dean Ambrose is part of a 20 man battle royal – with his United States Championship on the line!  This was apparently ordered by Triple H.  So let’s see who’s all in here.  Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Ryback, Curis Axel, Fandango, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Damien Sandow, R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Mark Henry, Sheamus, Santino, Heath Slater Titus O’Neil, and Sin Cara.  I think that’s everybody.  Yeah, that adds up.  Since I watched this earlier, FFW!  Ambrose winds up being one of the last two after he eliminates RybAxel and Jack Swagger, but he turns around into a Brogue Kick from Sheamus, who dumps him over the top rope and wins the United States Championship.

Triple H comes out and says The Shield got lucky last night, but their luck has run out because Ambrose lost the US Title and the three of them will face The Wyatt Family later on tonight.

Can you spot the mistake?

Backstage, Sheamus tells Renee Young that he was tired of spinning his wheels, and so he took advantage of the opportunity to win the United States Championship.  When asked what he’d have to say to Dean Ambrose, he says “No hard feelings, fella.”

Elsewhere backstage, Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella are in a room when they’re startled by a loud knock on the door.   It’s Stephanie McMahon, who says they’ll be safe from Kane if they just stay put.  A Kane mask appears on the inside of the door.

In the arena, Rob Van Dam makes his way to the ring for his match, which is NEXT!

Could have been worse. It could have been this Bret Hart mask.

Last night at Extreme Rules, Cesaro defeated Rob Van Dam and Jack Swagger in a three way elimination match, a fact that Paul Heyman says makes him the new King of Extreme.  So now we’ve got RVD vs. Cesaro.  Cesaro winds up getting RVD tied to the proverbial Tree of Woe, but he continuously attacks him while he’s tied up and gets disqualified in the process.  After the bell, he continues the assault, but Heyman finally convinces him to stop.

Albany…  we’re here.  NEXT!

This was the first thing that comes up when you search “King of Extreme” on Google.  I still can’t believe somebody thought it would be a good idea for this dude to front Van Halen.

In the ring, Bray Wyatt says Abigail told him he was born to lead, and that he’d change the world.  The world has wicked ways.  They’ve always referred to Wyatt as a nobody.  But this day is so sweet for him, because last night he became somebody.  Last night, John Cena’s fear was personified by that of a singing child.  Cena says that Wyatt is a monster, and he’s right.  He’d have you believe that Wyatt only wants to watch the world burn.  And he does.  He wishes to watch the world burn so it can be reborn in his image.  Cena thinks Wyatt only does everything for himself, but that is where Cena is dead wrong.  He does it for the children, for the beggars, for the teenage girls who cry because society don’t think they’re beautiful enough to be prom queen.  He does this for each and every one of you.  Cena stands alone, and alone he shall fall.  Stand with Wyatt, and never be alone again.  You won’t remember him as a monster, but for what he truly is – a God.  He’s got the whole world in his hands.

Cody Rhodes, with Goldust, take on Ryback, with Curtis Axel.  Earlier in the battle royal, Cody inadvertently knocked Goldust over the top rope in the battle royal for the US Championship.  Cody catches Ryback with the Disaster Kick, then a dropkick from the top rope.  He goes back to the top, Axel tries to interfere, Goldust tries to prevent him from doing so, but gets rammed into the post, causing Cody to lose his balance and wind up in Shell Shock, leading to a Ryback victory.

Backstage, Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan are in the same room they were in earlier, and the lights go out.  The Kane mask glows.  Bryan and Brie are trying to take off, and Stephanie says she’ll have their car brought up so they can take off, but they need to stay put.

I’ve made this joke before. I know this, because this image from the Google Image results came from one of my RAW reviews from last June.

Los Matadores are having some kind of Cinco De Mayo celebration, in honor of El Torito’s win in the WeeLC match.  They argue over the pronunciation of “universe,” and Torito throws some candy out to the crowd.  3MB come out, and Heath Slater says this party doesn’t happen without “Tres MB.”  Slater says he wants to call a truce.  Jinder Mahal tells one of the Matadores that this is America and he should speak English.  Drew McIntyre says if they don’t accept their offer of peace, they’ll have to ruin their party.  Torito hands Hornswoggle some candy.  Hornswoggle refuses it and punches Torito in the face.  Slater watches the carnage unfold as Diego and Fernando take out McIntyre and Mahal.  He finally realizes he’s alone with the Matadores.  He tries to win them over by yelling “Ole!” but they toss him over the top rope.  Torito pulls a sombrero over Hornswoggle’s head and gores him.

Can we get JBElf, Micro Cole, and Jerry “The King” Smaller back on commentary?

I’m starting to notice a pattern here.  Xavier Woods and R-Truth were destroyed by Alexander Rusev lately, and now he’s facing Kofi Kingston.  But not before Lana puts over Vladimir Putin.  Kofi actually holds his own, but of course it’s Rusev with the submission victory off of the Accolade.  Handsome Squidward watches on from the audience.  Seriously.

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella get in their car and go to take off, when there’s a loud knock at the passenger side window.  It’s Stephanie McMahon again.  She says Bryan can’t leave until after his match, which is right now.  If he doesn’t compete, it’s a breach of contract and he’ll be stripped of the World Heavyweight Championship.

See, there he is!

Bryan’s opponent is Alberto Del Rio.  Michael Cole says that Bryan should try to win as quickly as possible, and JBL points out that Del Rio is no easy win.  Del Rio holds his own, but it’s mostly Bryan early on.  Del Rio turns it around before the break and maintains control when we come back.  It winds up being a heck of a back and forth match before Bryan makes Del Rio tap with the Yes Lock.

Kane’s pyro goes off, and Bryan and Brie try to escape up the ramp, and manage to get out of the arena and in to their waiting car, which, of course, won’t start.  Bryan says there’s a wire unplugged, and he plugs it back in before he realizes Kane is in the back seat going after the horrible acting of Brie Bella.  Kane and Bryan fight on top of the car, Bryan manages to get in and drives off with Kane still on the roof.  Bryan gets out of the car and sees Kane lying on the ground.  He sits up, and Brie screams horribly again.  They peel out before Kane can get back at them.

Nothing like good old vehicular assault!

Big E and Bad News Barrett have their Intercontinental Championship rematch.  Barrett, of course, is afraid he’s got some bad news.  There will be some changes around here.  The deformed slobs in this audience aren’t worthy of a champion like him.  They need some serious cosmetic surgery before that happens.  I’m tired.  FFW.  Big E goes for the Big Ending, but Barrett escapes by raking the eyes, then nails the Bull Hammer for the victory to retain his title.

If you think Bad News is an original name, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news.

Colter says for Real Americans, it’s not Cinco De Mayo, and any American who celebrates just wants to get dog drunk and vomit on theymselves.  What makes Zeb vomit is illegal immigrants, and he has a list of people to deport from WWE.  Cesaro, Paul Heyman, Emma, Santino, Sheamus, and Paige.  His speech is cut off by a party in the aisle.   Adam Rose is here!  It’s party time, all the time!  Anybody who doesn’t dig this, don’t be a lemon – be a Rosebud!  Which is exactly what he says to Zeb.  Swagger goes to attack, but gets dumped over the top rope and to the floor – then the party continues in the ring.

Another victim of Adam Rose’s undefeated streak at Hungry Hungry Hippos.

The Wyatts and The Shield make their unique entrances, and we’re set for our main event!  This match gets a ton of time.  And since I’m tired, FFW.  Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose take out Rowan and Harper, Roman Reigns hits Wyatt with the Superman punch.  They set up for the Triple Powerbomb – but Evolution come down to the ring.  The Shield take out The Wyatts again, then Rollins and Ambrose take out Batista, Randy Orton, Rowan, and Harper again.  Reigns catches Triple H with a Superman punch, but Wyatt catches Reigns from behind with Sister Abigail to pick up the win for the Wyatt Family.  Evolution attack The Shield, dismantling Ambrose and Rollins first, then Triple H goes for a Pedigree on Reigns, but he escapes – only to get hit with an RKO.  Triple H then drops him with the Pedigree.  And to add insult to injury, Orton and Triple H pick Reigns up, and give him to Batista for a triple powerbomb.  Triple H, Batista, and Randy Orton stand over The Shield with their fists together, mocking the Hounds of Justice to end RAW.

Thoughts:  It wasn’t bad.  It wasn’t great either, but I’m not complaining.  I really don’t have much to say about this show.  Not sure why Sheamus was the one to win the US Title either.  There are other guys who could use the title win far more than a former WWE and World Heavyweight Champion.  Oh well.  See you Sunday for BWF Radio!

The post WWE RAW 5/5/14 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch the first two hours at home, drive to work, then have to watch the entire show again because I forgot what happened and didn’t have the foresight to review it live.  It’s irrelevant anyway – you’re more interested in Gregory Iron being our special guest on this Sunday’s BWF Radio.

Triple H kicks off RAW, saying he’s going to end the YES Movement at WrestleMania.  Batista comes out to confront him and ask why he would make the match at WrestleMania a triple threat match.  Randy Orton comes out wondering the same thing, but says he’ll take on Daniel Bryan if Triple H gives him a no DQ match against him later on tonight.  Triple H agrees to that, as Batista and Orton bicker.  Triple H finally tells them that he’s tired of gremlins like Daniel Bryan, of Hollywood movie stars coming back here thinking they can tell him what’s right for this business, and of technically gifted guys who are so screwed up in the head that they can’t win a match without Triple H holding their hand.  Triple H says we’re going to have a triple threat at WrestleMania – because if he beats Bryan, it’ll be Batista, Orton, and Triple H.  Orton RKO’s Batista.

This week’s theme is “Things that come up on Google Images when you search for ‘that was random'”

Backstage, Batista tells Renee Young he’s leaving.

The WWE Tag Team Champions, The Usos, take on The Real Americans, Cesaro and Jack Swagger.  The Usos have been on a roll as of late while the Real Americans seem to be on a path of implosion.  Tonight, however, Swagger sacrifices himself on behalf of Cesaro, taking a side kick and a suicide dive from one of the Usos – but Cesaro takes advantage with a huge European uppercut to the Uso trying to do a suicide dive on him, then drops him with a Neutralizer mid-ring to pick up the victory for the Real Americans over the Tag Team Champions.

We get a look at WWE Slam City, which is some animated series about the WWE Superstars finding day jobs after they all get fired.  Best line in the ad is the character of Kane (none of them are voiced by their actual WWE counterparts) yelling “WHO WANTS DESSERT!?!?” while firing a flamethrower.

They’re on the second page of search results. They’ll never find them.

Kane apologizes to The Shield and informs them that they have a new mission from The Authority, and if they don’t prove themselves to be assets, they’ll be liabilities.  The Shield give him their word that they are united.

Hornswoggle, looking like a mini Chum Lee from Pawn Stars, is tossing St. Patrick’s Day goodies out to the WWE Universe when Bad News Barrett interrupts.  St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland, but the reality is that most people will spend this holiday getting inebriated and vomiting all night, waking up with a hangover, realizing they’ve done shameful things, and then spend the rest of their lives regretting them.  I agree.

Sheamus takes on Titus O’Neil, who comes out dressed up for St. Patrick’s Day, complete with ginger beard.  Christian is on commentary, announcing that he’s in the Andre The Giant Battle Royal at WrestleMania.  Titus tries to do a fireman’s carry throw 0n Hornswoggle a la Razor Ramon, but Sheamus catches ‘Swoggle, tosses him in to O’Neil, then hits the Brogue Kick for the win.  Sheamus cuts a promo about how he beat “Tight Arse O’Neil” and how he’ll win the Andre The Giant battle royal – then Christian once again attacks Sheamus.  Because nobody’s sick of that program yet.

This image is unrealistic. Jorge doesn’t have a six pack.

We get an announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Joe Manganiello of the upcoming film Sabotage are the guest stars on next week’s RAW.  And also, Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine.  So Schwarzenegger and Scooby Doo will be on RAW next week.  Seriously.  This is happening on the road to WrestleMania – Schwarzenegger and Scooby Doo.

John Cena hits the ring and admits he’s afraid of Bray Wyatt because Wyatt is like nothing he’s ever faced before.  Wyatt interrupts on the TitanTron, wearing John Cena merch.  He says children believe in Super Heroes because they want to believe that the world is good.  They don’t understand that everything is a lie. Wyatt has scars that the world gave to him.  He could be like Cena, sign autographs, kiss babies, make sure everybody buys his merchandise.  “I could go home to my plastic girlfriend and my castle.”  He can hide behind laughter and tell jokes to feel better about himself, that’s Cena.  But he’s right, Wyatt’s different than anyone he will ever face, because at WrestleMania, he doesn’t care if he leaves.  He doesn’t care if he dies.  As long as the world sees Cena the way Wyatt does.  Follow The Buzzards.

So true…

Randy Orton faces Daniel Bryan in a no disqualification match to kick off the second hour.  It’s all Orton with a kendo stick, save for a few moments of offense from Bryan, and then he gets a steel chair to do even more damage.  Before he can strike, however, Batista comes in and spears Orton.  Bryan dropkicks Batista out of the ring, then pins Orton.  As Bryan leaves, Batista drops the WWE World Heavyweight Champion with a Batista Bomb, much to the delight of the WWE Universe, who want him to do it one more time.

The announce team show their technical ineptitude as they try to show us the WWE Network sign up process.

I used to have pet rats. This is very true.

Paul Heyman is here, and he tells us that Brock Lesnar has easily conquered several of the Undertaker’s more recent WrestleMania opponents, each of whom The Undertaker barely survived.  He brought a clip.  I’d put it here, but WWE hasn’t put it up on YouTube.  Basically it says that Undertaker is getting old and that Brock Lesnar is a beast.  Heyman says The Undertaker and the streak will rest in peace.

Back in the Authority’s office, Stephanie McMahon questions Triple H wanting to talk to Daniel Bryan tonight, and then what happens when he wins the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and has to go back on the road full time.  She asks if he’s thinking at all.  He says he’s thinking clearly and not to worry about it.  She tells him he better take care of it.

Kaney West has really let himself go.

Fandango with Summer Rae takes on Goldust with Cody Rhodes.  Goldust dances with Cody on the ramp, and Fandango offers the floor to Goldust when the match starts.  Goldust acts all creepy, Summer Rae tries to get involved, she falls off the apron into the arms of Cody Rhodes, who takes a while to put her down.  Fandango misses the top rope legdrop and gets dropped by Goldust, who picks up the victory.

Is Jim Ross in this band?

As the third hour kicks off, Kane comes to the ring and tells Jerry “The King” Lawler to get in the ring, because Kane’s investigation says he’s responsible for Occupy RAW happening last week.  Jerry doesn’t oblige, so The Shield come down to escort him into the ring.  They back Lawler into a corner.  Kane says they’ve known each other for a long time, and Jerry’s not exactly in fighting shape, so Kane won’t enjoy this – well, maybe a little.  He asks if Lawler has anything to say for himself.  Lawler looks around, and Seth Rollins says “Jerry.  I see that look in your eyes.  But I got a good feeling Daniel Bryan is not coming to save you.  Because The Shield always does what’s best for business.”  Rollins drops the mic, and The Shield turn toward Kane.  Lawler gets out of the ring with a big smile on his face.  Kane berates The Shield as they surround him.  He tries to fight them off, but Dean Ambrose breaks up a chokeslam attempt on Rollins, and Roman Reigns spears Kane.  The Hounds of Justice drop Kane with the triple powerbomb and stand united over the fallen Director of Operations.

No longer with the Sabres: Derek Roy (9), Henrik Tallinder (10), and the Buffaslug jerseys.

The Bella Twins are on commentary as The Funkadactyls take on AJ Lee and Tamina.  Naomi is wearing an eye patch, but apparently must be cleared to wrestle.  I left at the start of this match, but I really don’t give enough of a shit about this to sit through it.  So, FFW!  Naomi pins AJ after a split legged moonsault.  Afterward, AJ and Tamina get into it.  AJ blames Tamina for her recent string of losses.  Tamina shoves AJ down.

I plan on shaving this Friday. Maybe this is the style I’ll go with?

Mr. T is announced as the next inductee into the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame, and rightfully so, despite the fact that Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mean Gene Okerlund said he was completely unprofessional to work with on an episode of WWE Legends of Wrestling (it’s the “Renegades & Outlaws” edition, which is on the WWE Network’s On Demand service.  Check it out!)

Well played!

Eight man tag team action happens as Big Show, Mark Henry, Big E, and Dolph Ziggler take on RybAxel, Damien Sandow, and Alberto Del Rio.  All of these guys are apparently in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.  I really don’t care about this – more than the Diva’s match, but still not enough to sit through it.  FFW!  Sandow gets pinned by Big Show after a chokeslam.

Batista confirms that he didn’t quit WWE, and he doesn’t care who is the third man in the match, he’s leaving WrestleMania with what he came for, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

I totally feel like this sometimes.

Kofi Kingston takes on Bray Wyatt, but first, we get a music video package on Bray Wyatt set to the song “Legacy” by Eminem.  Because when I think Bray Wyatt, I think Eminem.  Of course, the WWE video package crew makes it work.  So it’s the dude who is only on WrestleMania to be a spot monkey in the battle royal vs. the guy who is in one of the top matches against one of the WWE’s top stars.  I wonder who is going to win this one.  It doesn’t last long.  Wyatt wins with Sister Abigail.

“After Total Divas” is on WWE Network right now. Apparently somebody forgot to tell Eva Marie this.

Did I mention that Schwarzenegger and Scooby Doo will be on RAW next week?  Because WWE did again.  Or at least that Schwarzenegger and the other dude in his new movie are anyway.

Triple H calls out Daniel Bryan.  He doesn’t have to ask twice.  Triple H has some things to get off his chest, and it’s not a popular decision among his circle.  Triple H says that everything he’s done since SummerSlam he has done because he believes it is best for business.  He says none of this was personal.  He doesn’t expect anybody to understand the burdens of having to make the decisions of what is best for this company.  Last week, Bryan crossed the line, but Triple H will let it be in the past.  It feels like this was supposed to happen, but the fact is that they will step in this ring and fight in three weeks.  Triple H won’t apologize for anything he does, and Bryan shouldn’t apologize to him either.  They will do what they do best at WrestleMania.  But Bryan crossed the line and Triple H has no choice but to end it, because it’s best for business.  He wanted to let Bryan know, no hard feelings and may the best man win.  He extends a hand to Bryan.  Bryan refuses, and Triple H understands.  He does want to let Bryan know one other thing.  He’s dumped a ton on him since SummerSlam.  He’s done everything possible, and yet Bryan is still standing here.  Anybody else would have folded a long time ago, but not Bryan.  Bryan’s got a big set, and if nothing else, he’s earned Triple H’s respect.  Stephanie comes out and questions him.  What Bryan did was illegal, and endangered the lives of the people in the ring, and she’s pressing charges.  He spit in the face of her family, so he will suffer the consequences.  Police officers, who look suspiciously similar to indie wrestlers, come out to arrest Bryan.  Triple H and Stephanie argue on the ramp.  The “officers” surround Bryan, then cuff him and take him down.  Triple H questions them, then smiles at Stephanie.  He says this isn’t what he wants.  Triple H says they’re not even real cops.  Besides, he’s really looking forward to doing this himself.  Triple H starts stomping the shit out of a handcuffed and helpless Bryan.  He tosses Bryan out of the ring and into the steel ring steps.  He bounces Bryan’s head off of the announce table.  Bryan tries to fight back, but to no avail.  Triple H slams Bryan on the announce table.  Triple H continues the assault as Stephanie mocks Bryan.  Bryan once again tries to fight back unsuccessfully.  Triple H holds Bryan for Stephanie to slap him.  Bryan says “YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!”  Triple H puts Bryan in the ring with his head against the post, then nails him with a steel chair.  Unprotected chairshots to the head – it’s what’s best for business.  Triple H drags Bryan to the center of the ring and Pedigrees his unconscious body to the mat.  Stephanie joins him in the ring and mocks the Yes chants.  RAW ends with Triple H saying that this all belongs to them, and there is no “YES Movement.”

Thoughts:  If Bryan doesn’t walk out of WrestleMania as the Champion, what is all of this for?  Is Triple H going to bury Bryan and win the title himself?  It’s now a possibility.  By the way, I watched Talking Dead last night on AMC.  CM Punk was introduced as “Phil Brooks, who you may know as CM Punk.”  At the end of the show, the other people were announced with what they do for a living, but all that was said about Phil Brooks was that you can find him on Twitter at @CMPunk.  Since he wasn’t in the Brock Lesnar/Undertaker video package, I think it’s safe to say he’s done.

The post WWE RAW 3/17/14 – Hornswoggle returns! appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages.  It’s time for the title match we all thought was supposed to happen last week on RAW.  The Usos take on the New Age Outlaws with the titles on the line.  This time, the Outlaws lasted more than a few seconds (that’s what she said), but in the end, one Uso does a suicide dive on Road Dogg on the outside, while tagging the other Uso who splashes Billy Gunn inside the ring, picking up the win, and the first Tag Team Championship for the Usos.  As it turns out, there’s going to be a rematch tomorrow night.  Yes, tomorrow, as in Tuesday.  When WWE presents Main Event, LIVE on the WWE Network.  I can’t help but wonder what ION Television thinks of this.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

And now, a non-title rematch from last week’s RAW.  Intercontinental Champion Big E takes on Cesaro.  Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger are at ringside.  Last week, Swagger jumped in the ring and attacked Big E getting Cesaro disqualified, then Big E dropped Cesaro with the Big Ending.  This week, Swagger jumps in the ring and attacks Big E, getting Cesaro disqualified, then Big E drops Cesaro with the Big Ending.  Hash Tag rerun.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Speaking of Hash Tag Rerun, here’s one worth watching again.  It’s The Shield against the Wyatt Family.  Seth Rollins impresses early on, but gets inadvertently knocked off the top rope by Dean Ambrose, which puts the Family in control.  When Rollins finally gets a chance to tag out, both Ambrose and Roman Reigns are not in the corner, as they’re dealing with Bray Wyatt on the outside.  Later on, when Ambrose looks to tag, Rollins drops off the apron.  He tells Reigns he’s tired of being the glue that holds the group together, and tells Reigns that he and Ambrose can figure it out.  They hold their own, as Reigns takes out Erick Rowan by the announce table, but Luke Harper takes out Reigns, leaving Ambrose to be picked apart by Harper and Bray Wyatt, and The Wyatts pick up the victory as Rollins watches from the ramp.  This match was awesome.  Almost awesome enough to avoid the “We Want Punk” chants.  Almost. Batista tells Renee Young that the Yes Movement is the dumbest thing he’s ever seen.  The fans read too many comics and watch too many movies, and believe that Daniel Bryan will never be a super hero.  Says the dude who’s in Guardians of the Galaxy.  Right.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Fandango & Summer Rae take on Santino & Emma in mixed tag.  Santino and Emma keep high-fiving each other, which count as tags, which frustrate Fandango & Summer.  This match doesn’t avoid CM Punk chants.  The announcers fail to call the DilEmma, and the Emma Sandwich, but call the Emma Lock when it gets locked on Summer Rae, scoring the victory for EmMarella.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Christian faces Sheamus.  The fans shit all over this one (not literally this time), and so do I on twitter (“Sheamus vs. Christian needs a warning label:  may cause drowsiness.  #RAW”).  Some people were saying it was good.  I just don’t give a shit enough about either of these guys to agree.  Sheamus wins with a Brogue Kick from the apron.  A sign in the crowd instructs Sheamus to put some pants on.

Good advice.

Renee Young is talking to Sheamus backstage when Christian brutally assaults him.  He holds up a spotlight and tells Sheamus if he wants Christian’s spotlight, he can come take it.  Then the Bellas face Foxana.  That’s Alicia Fox and Aksana for the uninitiated.  The Bellas win.  Don’t remember how.  Don’t particularly care.  NEXT!

You know when they finally fixed these issues? DURING RAW.

YES!  YES!  YES!  I’m already caught up to where I was when I left for work – two hours into the show with Daniel Bryan!  Bryan says we’re going to hijack RAW.  He’s not leaving until either he’s kicked Batista’s ass or Triple H accepts his challenge for WrestleMania.  Triple H comes out, and the fans chant CM Punk’s name at him.  Triple H seems unfazed.  Stephanie says she’d be embarrassed if she were Bryan after losing at Elimination Chamber.  Bryan says Triple H has done everything to keep Bryan away from the title, but Bryan is unbroken with these people behind him.  Bryan reiterates his challenge.  Triple H says “that’s not gonna happen.”  Triple H says everybody makes excuses for their failures when the truth is that anybody who has failed in WWE did so because they were not good enough.  He says B+ is pretty damned good, but it’s going to take more than a B+ player to get Triple H to lace up his boots at WrestleMania.  The fans chant “asshole.”  Triple H says “they’re saying it’s your turn.”  Bryan says the fans can see through Triple H’s lies.  A huge “YES” chant breaks out.  Bryan says that Triple H doesn’t listen to the fans, and the only way to get that to happen is if Bryan beats the crap out of Triple H at WrestleMania.  Stephanie says they don’t listen because, why would they?  Why listen to a sea of inadequacy?  She says the fans will turn on Bryan, but her and Triple H won’t.  She says without her family, Bryan would have nothing.  She says “we made you.”  Bryan says that she could put on Triple H’s trunks, Triple H can put on her skirt, and Bryan will fight her at WrestleMania while Triple H sits back and watches.  Triple H says he’s 90% sure she’d whip Bryan’s ass too.  Secondly, it’s just not gonna happen.  He says that WrestleMania is the showcase of the immortals, and Bryan just does not measure up.  He orders Bryan out of his ring.  Bryan doesn’t go anywhere.  He says it’s not Triple H’s ring.  It’s the fans’ ring.  Triple H says everything in this arena, including the fans and Bryan, belong to The Authority.  He once again orders Bryan out of the ring.  Bryan asks Triple H to make him.  Stephanie calls for Kane – and Bryan jumps right out on Kane.  Stephanie calls for security.  WWE referees come out, then finally security comes out and pulls Bryan off of Kane.  The fans chant Bryan’s name, and later on tonight he’ll be back to face Batista.

We Want Prog! We Want Prog!

My audio sync is off as they throw to the RAW pre-show panel.  Alberto Del Rio apparently made his entrance before that.  Some music I’ve never heard before hits.  Del Rio doesn’t seem to know who it is either.  Oh, that wasn’t music, that was a car engine.  It’s the dude that’s hosting RAW, Aaron Paul or whatever the fuck his name is, driving Dolph Ziggler into the arena.  The actor dude jumps in on commentary as this match happens.  I’m indifferent.  Dude jumps up on the announce table, distracting Del Rio, allowing Ziggler time to recover from the beating he’d been taking and hit the Zig Zag for the victory.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

The next inductee into the 2014 class of the WWE Hall of Fame is announced, and as expected, it’s the late, great Paul Bearer. Up next is Big E taking on Jack Swagger, which was made by RAW General Manager Brad Maddox on the WWE App earlier in the night after Swagger attacked Big E.  The bell rings, and Cesaro runs in to drop Big E with the Neutralizer to cause the disqualification.  Swagger shoves Cesaro.  Cesaro says they’re even.  Swagger shoves him again, and Cesaro goes for the Cesaro Swing.  Colter tells him not to do it.  Cesaro lets go.  Colter tells him to help his brother up.  Cesaro pulls Swagger to his feet, and the two of them get in each other’s faces.  Colter instructs them to hug it out and put this in the past.  They do, and Colter invites everybody to say “we the people.”  Swagger and Cesaro stare each other down the whole time.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane is on for tomorrow night on Main Event. John Cena limps down to the ring.  The fans chant for CM Punk.  Cena thanks them for the warm Chicago welcome.  Last week he was injured, and he was ordered by doctors to not compete tonight.  The fans chant for CM Punk again.  Cena wanted to come out for the energy and passion of an entire city.  The Allstate Arena is always special for Cena.  He’s competed at WrestleMania, gotten the crap kicked out of him by Brock Lesnar, and had a Money In The Bank PPV match with somebody special there.  Cena respects Chicago.  They may boo him out of the arena, but he hears them, and they’re honest and loud.  He understands that the WWE Universe wants change.  He says change will go through him.  He babbles on for another minute or so, then The Wyatts appear on the TitanTron.  Bray wonders how long Cena thinks he can fend off the Wyatts.  Bray is the reaper, and he is going to put Cena down.  As usual, it’s a great promo from Bray Wyatt.  Find it.  Watch it. Backstage, Batista runs into Randy Orton, who wishes him luck against Daniel Bryan.

We Want Punk! We Want Punk!

Actually, funny Less Than Jake story real quick. My wife and I went to see them with Reel Big Fish, mostly for Reel Big Fish. My wife didn’t know any of LTJ’s songs, so she was pretty bored. They saw her and called us up on stage because of it. Got to watch the rest of the show from the drum riser.

Lana and Alexander Rusev cut a promo, just like the one from SmackDown.  I don’t care.  I didn’t like the dude on NXT, I’m not going to like him on RAW. I’m making awesome time here – there’s 15 minutes left and it’s only 1:30 AM.  They waste some time with clips of Hogan on the Today Show.  Then Randy Orton comes out.  Everybody gets entrances.  By time the bell rings, there’s only 10:35 left in the show.  The “Bootista” chants break out again.  Bryan works over Batista’s leg, and Paul Bearer becomes the number one trend on Twitter.  The fans are solidly behind Bryan, booing the shit out of Batista when he slides out of the ring to avoid some Bryan offense.  The Authority come out as Bryan goes to climb the ropes, distracting Bryan enough to allow Batista to knock him down and take over.  The crowd chants for Punk.  Batista throws Bryan into Orton, who is seated at ringside.  The fans chant “overrated” at Batista.  Bryan kicks Batista in the head, but Orton gets in and attacks Bryan.  He tries to drop Batista with an RKO, but gets shoved into the knee from Bryan.  Bryan takes out Kane, knocking him onto Triple H.  Batista spears Bryan as he tries to go for a suicide dive onto the authority.  Triple H tells Bryan he’s tired of his “little fantasy crap.”  Bryan kicks Triple H in the head.  Batista drops Bryan with the Batista Bomb.  Triple H drops Bryan with the Pedigree.  Stephanie mocks the “Yes” chants.  The fans chant for CM Punk.  RAW ends with Triple H, Kane, and Stephanie standing over a fallen Bryan. Thoughts:  No Punk.  I think it’s safe to say that Punk’s walkout is a shoot.  I’ve always said it was.  But when Josh Mathews mentioned Punk on the pre-show, I thought for sure he’d be there.  Maybe he showed up on Backstage Pass afterward, but I haven’t watched that yet and I highly doubt it.  New Tag Champs, and admittedly deservedly so.  The Shield break up may finally be coming to fruition.  And Bryan may have frustrated Triple H to the point where he’ll get his match.  See you Sunday for BWF Radio!

The post WWE RAW 3/3/14 – We Want Punk. appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I did this a little differently tonight.  I actually decided to drive to work, so I managed to catch the first couple hours of the show.  But there are things I want to go over, so I’m going to watch some of it again as I review.  So, let’s go!

I don’t wanna do this, I wanna watch the WWE Network.  I know it works with Internet Explorer on PCs!  Oh well.

BROTHER!  Hulk Hogan is back to kick off Monday Night RAW!  Well, that, and to host WrestleMania XXX.  Standard Hogan promo – pose, soak up nostalgia, say “brother” a lot, and basically taking 10 minutes to say he’s glad to be back and plug the Network.

BWF BROTHER COUNT:  6

BROTHER!

It’s an Elimination Chamber rematch as Bootista takes on Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio dominates, much like he did last night, and the fans shit all over it, like they did last night.  Randall Keith Orton comes out, and Del Rio rolls up Batista for the victory.  The fans boo, Orton cuts a promo pointing out that fact, and Batista says he doesn’t really give a shit.

Promotional image for the main event of WrestleMania. It’s been used for the past three years.

Big E takes on Cesaro in a battle of guys who have lost names in the past month.  The word about Cesaro was that Vince McMahon felt as though “Antonio” didn’t sound very tough.  Look, this is a dude that regularly swings around 300 pound guys by the legs before uppercutting their teeth out.  His name could be Mary for all I give a shit, he’s still a guy I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with.  It’s actually a really good match, but it ends with Jack Swagger jumping in the ring and locking Big E in the Patriot Lock, causing the disqualification.  Cesaro, who was insanely impressive in this match, looks at Swagger with disdain, then drops Big E with a sick looking Neutralizer, which looked to me like Big E took wrong and got dropped on his head.

It’s ok. If Big E is hurt from that botch, Hunico can fill in for him.

John Cena calls out the Wyatt Family, since they cost him the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber.  The Wyatts arrive, and Bray introduces himself to Cena, and calls Cena a liar.  Cena invites the family to join him in the ring.  They oblige.  Cena appears to legit injure his leg during this segment.  The fact that it doesn’t end with Sister Abigail and The Wyatts came out on top of the fight would indicate something happened, I think.  The fact that after the break they showed Cena being stretchered out adds to my belief that he was legit hurt.  David Fuller agrees with me.

@thinksojoe Yeah too early for a face stretcher angle, in the program. Its legit

— David Fuller (@hXcFuller) February 25, 2014

Sheamus takes on Christian.  The crowd is dead, Twitter is only talking about the skin and hair color of these two guys, and Sheamus winds up winning.  I think.  I don’t give a shit.  This match really dragged the show down.

During a break on the WWE App (yes, we’re still doing that), Daniel Bryan confronted Triple H and demanded to face him at WrestleMania.  Triple H says it’s not going to happen, but he’ll try to find Bryan a spot on the card.

The Shield questions Dean Ambrose on his whereabouts during the end of the match against the Wyatts last night.  Ambrose walks out, the Wyatt Family walk in.  Reigns challenges Wyatt to a match with none of their respective crew at ringside.  Wyatt calls him an interesting creature and accepts.

Bryan takes on Kane, based on the fact that Kane cost Bryan the WWE World Heavyweight Championship last night.  Bryan wins with the MTBJC, then calls Triple H a coward, before leading the crowd in a “YES” chant.

https://twitter.com/prettyheartless/status/438146486439002112

We get another Lana and Alexander Rusev vignette.  Meanwhile, Fandango and Summer Rae are in the ring dancing.  Emma’s music hits, and she heads to the ring accompanied by Santino, as she has her first match on the main roster.  Emma, for what it’s worth, has her match for the NXT Women’s Championship against the Anti-Diva, Paige, this Thursday on NXT ArRIVAL on the WWE Network.  Summer trash talks Santino as she beats down Emma.  Emma winds up picking up the victory with the Emma Lock.

This GIF is for you, Jorge!

The Outlaws and the Usos have a rematch from last night – but it’s a non-title match.  Before Road Dogg can finish his shtick, the Usos boot him in the face, and they take the victory very, very quickly.

Roman Reigns takes on Bray Wyatt.  It’s one on one – Reigns came without The Shield, Wyatt without the Family.  The fans in Green Bay chant “Husky Harris” as Bray controls the early going.  As I watch this, an early episode of ECW Hardcore TV is airing on the WWE Network.  How early?  It’s EASTERN Championship Wrestling.  The Public Enemy are facing a couple of jobbers.  Wyatt gets in trouble in this match, and the Family show up at ringside – but Seth Rollins comes in to take both of them out with a plancha over the top rope.  Wyatt tries to pick up the victory off the distraction but only gets two.  Rowan and Harper attack Rollins on the outside – but Ambrose comes through for the save!  Then all hell breaks loose, and Ambrose costs Reigns the match, apparently, by attacking Bray Wyatt.  The melee ends with The Shield standing tall, apparently united, in the center of the ring.

Backstage, Paul Heyman is begging Brock Lesnar to be professional, meaning he can’t tear anything or anybody apart.

No, not this S.H.I.E.L.D.

Heyman says that Lesnar should be main eventing WrestleMania – and holy shit I’m watching Sabu vs. The Tasmaniac on ECW Hardcore TV on the WWE Network at the same time!  Heyman says it’s become woefully apparent that Orton and Batista should get their match out of the way with the winner facing Lesnar at WrestleMania.  The Authority have offered Lesnar an open contract for WrestleMania – which means he can fight anybody he wants, which is a mere consolation prize for Lesnar not getting his title shot.  Lesnar has conquered all of his goals, but he can’t conquer the goal of winning the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania.  He wants to make history.  Heyman says no thank you to the open contract.  Heyman says Lesnar should have a shot at making history, or he won’t be at WrestleMania.

GONG

The lights go out, and Lesnar is greeted with the bone chilling entrance of The Undertaker.  Undertaker is rocking his Ministry of Darkness goatee.  Awesome!  Taker gets in the ring and stares down Lesnar as the fans chant his name.  Undertaker looks up at the WrestleMania sign, then back at Lesnar.  Lesnar nods, and asks Heyman for the contract.  Lesnar signs, then hands the pen to The Undertaker, shoving it into his chest.  Lesnar holds the contract for Undertaker – who stabs him in the hand with the pen, then chokeslams him through the table.  Taker glances at the WrestleMania sign as the crowd chants “holy shit.”  It’s Undertaker vs. Lesnar at WrestleMania!

Thoughts:  Pretty solid episode of RAW.  The Christian/Sheamus match pretty much dragged down an otherwise great show.  Undertaker emphatically accepting Lesnar’s challenge was a great finish to a decent night.  Wondering what the prognosis is for Cena heading in to WrestleMania.  I honestly don’t believe that Cena would have done a stretcher job if he weren’t legit hurt.  If he’s hurt, there’s always The Shield to face off with the Wyatts again, especially after what happened in the Reigns/Wyatt match tonight.  FWIW, I would have recapped the post show, but I’m enjoying this episode of ECW, which features a cage match between Terry Funk and Jimmy Snuka, with Paul E. Dangerously and Joey Styles on commentary.  Sunday at 2PM Eastern, join us on BWFRadio.com when we have the legendary Black Bart, courtesy of IHWE Wrestling!

The post WWE RAW 2/24/14 – At least the USA Network works! appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch this show, and I often find myself questioning why, now moreso than ever.  What really is best for business?  Not listening to the fans?  I hope half the viewers changed the channel during the main event.  Read on.

First 30 Quick Recap:  RAW is dedicated to the memory of Frank Bullock.  Betty White kicks off RAW, saying she’s going to kick some ass tonight.  The Authority say that they’re reconsidering who the face of the WWE is.  Randy Orton says he wants to be the face.  Daniel Bryan comes out and questions why Kane was sent after him.  The Authority tell him Kane has been reprimanded and sent home for the week.  Bryan wants to know who’s evaluating Stephanie and Triple H’s performance.  They tell him he’s got the night off.

The Wyatts face Goldust, Cody Rhodes, and Rey Mysterio.  The commentators talk about how difficult it will be for a referee to control the match between The Shield and The Wyatts at Elimination Chamber.  What I want to know is, why aren’t we putting this match inside the Elimination Chamber?  Six man tag team elimination, War Games style – how awesome would that be?  This is the ideal time to do it.  The predictable “everybody gets a move in” spot happens, and in the end it’s Bray Wyatt with Sister Abigail on Mysterio for the win.  Wyatt says that the tiny little toy soldiers that are The Shield will fall, right in time for his next game to begin.

As an investigative journalist, I’ve decided to get to the bottom of who Sister Abigail is. Could it be actress Abigail Breslin?

We get a video package of Roman Reigns’ record setting performance at the Royal Rumble.  Renee Young is with The Shield, asking if they have a response for The Wyatts.  They essentially say they will destroy The Wyatts.  She asks why Dean Ambrose hasn’t defended his United States Championship.  Roman Reigns asks what kind of champion Ambrose wants to be.  Ambrose says he’ll defend against anybody who will step up tonight.

The WWE Deevers are with Betty White, and The New Age Outlaws come in and tell Betty White they won’t let the younger generation pull a prank on her.  They invite her for tea.

Did EVERYBODY do a Wrecking Ball parody?

Santino and Emma make their way out to the ring.  They actually made a pretty formidable mixed tag team on NXT against the same folks they’re feuding with now, Fandango and Summer Rae.  This is a one on one match between Santino and Fandingle.  The fans chant for JBL, The Miz comes out, and complains that he’s not on RAW.  Instead we’ve got Twinkletoes and a guy whose act is older than Betty White.  Fandango wins with the legdrop from the top rope.

Byron Saxton has made his way to the main roster – as a backstage interviewer.  He’s with Sheamus.  Sheamus is teaming with Christian tonight, and he wouldn’t mind having a pint with Christian after the show.  Sheamus won’t take the Elimination Chamber match lightly.  He doesn’t care who is in his way, he’ll kick their teeth in and become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

But will he kick their stinkin’ teeth down their throats?

Sheamus and Christiannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…  huh, wha?  Oh, Christian is on.  And he’s got a black eye.  He and Sheamus are wrestling The Real Americans.  So a guy I like teamed with a guy who’s just there taking on two guys I could care less about.  And Zeb doesn’t even have a sign?  FFW!  You know, I wonder who Cesaro was rooting for in the USA vs. Switzerland women’s hockey game in the Olympics earlier today?  Team USA won 9-0.  The fans chant “we the people.”  Very loudly.  Cesaro saves Swagger from the Brogue Kick, Swagger locks the Patriot Lock on Sheamus, Christian takes out both Real Americans, and Sheamus ultimately hits the Brogue Kick on Swagger for the win.

Colin has a much better Brogue than Sheamus. Source: Lisa Simpson

After a bunch of worthless crap highlighting some worthless “talent,” a guy who should be highlighted, Dolph Ziggler, comes out.  He doesn’t even get to the ring before his opponent, Alberto Del Rio’s music hits.  I’m genuinely surprised they let Ziggler keep doing the Famouser after Billy Gunn came back to the active roster.  Del Rio wins with a kick to the face.  After the match, Del Rio puts Ziggler in the cross armbreaker.  Which predictably draws out Batista in a painfully obvious attempt to get Ziggler’s fans to cheer him for saving our guy.  Sorry, it doesn’t work that way anymore.  Batista puts Del Rio through the announce table.

Triple H stops Batista backstage, saying he can’t have him going off like he did on Del Rio.  Triple H is trying to fit Batista in to what’s best for business.  Batista says Del Rio is his business.  Triple H says it’s Batista vs. Del Rio at Elimination Chamber.  Didn’t see that one coming.  HashTagPredictable.

The latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2014 is my all time favorite WWE Diva, LITA!

Betty White is having tea with the Outlaws.  It’s Road Dogg’s own blend.  He puts something in it while Billy is showing off his title.  Betty is too quick for them, asking for lemons and switching cups with Billy while their backs are turned.

It’s quite easy, actually. But if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.

Oh boy, Rybaxel.  The Outlaws are joining in on commentator.  Billy isn’t feeling too well.  Ryback and Curtis Axel are facing the Usos.  If it wasn’t for the curiosity of what’s going on with Billy Gunn, I’d fast forward.  Billy keeps clutching at his stomach.  The fans chant for Randy Savage when Axel is in the ring, and Goldberg when Ryback tags in.  Road Dogg is gold on commentary.  Usos get in a pretty cool spot where Jimmy tags Jey as he’s flying over the top rope on a suicide dive on Ryback.  Jey hits the top rope splash on Axel for the victory.  The Outlaws get up to confront the Usos, and Billy runs out of the arena clutching his ass.  Apparently that was a laxative Road Dogg put in the tea.

WWE App Exclusive

The United States Championship is on the line!  Dean Ambrose will face anybody who will accept his open challenge.  I bet it’s Roman Reigns.  Nope – it’s The World’s Strongest Rick Ross Impersonator, Mark Henry!  The look on Ambrose’s face is priceless.  Championship introductions for this one, which I love.  Makes it feel special.  Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins shout words of encouragement to Ambrose.  It’s all Henry until Ambrose attacks his injured arm.  And then it’s still mostly Henry.  After a break, it’s all CM Punk, at least according to the crowd who are chanting his name.  In reality, Ambrose is in control.  Ambrose goes for his finisher, but Henry shoves him off and gets him with the World’s Strongest Slam, but Reigns and Rollins jump in for the save, giving Henry the win, but not the title.  Henry fights them off on the outside, but Reigns takes him out with the spear.  The Shield, on the surface, appear to be on the same page two weeks before Elimination Chamber.  As The Shield are leaving, the lights go out and the Wyatts make their way to the ring.  The Shield aren’t backing down.  They’re on one side of the ring, the Wyatts on the other.  This is intense.  The Shield get up on the apron.  The Wyatts get up on the apron.  Reigns enters.  Wyatt feigns entering – but calls The Family off.  The Shield stand together in the ring as the Wyatts back up the ramp, never taking their eyes off of their Elimination Chamber opponents, daring them to make a move.

Kinda like this. But in a wrestling ring. And with more guys.

WWE Honors Black History Month with a feature on Bobo Brazil.

Six Diva Tag Clusterfuck – it’s AJ, Aksana, and Alicia Fox with Tamina Snuka against The Bellas and Cameron with Eva Marie in their corner.  Naomi is still recovering from the knee to the face Aksana delivered to her last week.  I hope Aksana drops knees on all the Total Deevers faces.  Cameron wins with what she calls the “Girl Bye” on Aksana.  It’s a fucking DDT.  It’s not “Girl Bye.”  It’s a DDT.  I hope Jake Roberts drops you on your fucking head you twit.

Let the master show you how it’s done

Heh.  Kane is here.  He’s supposed to be on administrative leave.  He accepts that punishment and says he acted on his on volition last week.  Daniel Bryan doesn’t give a crap, he charges to the ring and attacks the WWE DOO.  Kane fights back.  Bryan avoids the chokeslam, sends Kane to the floor, hits a suicide dive, and tees off on the big red corporate monster.  Kane escapes through the crowd as Bryan leads the Staples Center in a YES chant.  #YESMovement.

And as far as I’m concerned, that’s the end of the show.

Thoughts:  Everything with The Shield tonight was great.  Everything else was predictable.  Maybe hire some new writers?  Oh well.  See you Sunday for Midget Torture Bored Wrestling Fan Radio!

Happy birthday, Cliff! #RIP

The post WWE RAW 2/10/14 – Screw this main event! appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

So let’s look at the two biggest guys in the business right now; Cena and Daniel Bryan. Oh and Orton I guess. Things are a bit all over the place because the word was that Cena was going to face Bray at Wrasslemania but right now he’s with Orton. As I said in the Old School RAW podcast it’s pretty easy to move on from this. Cena loses to Randy Orton and doesn’t get the title, and instead moves on to face Bray Wyatt to “avenge” Daniel Bryan. He doesn’t like what Bray has done to him and is going to cut several sexually frustrated promos about how much he loved Bryan. There you go, Wyatt vs Cena is a go.

As for Bryan? Well the rumour is that Taker has requested to work a match with Bryan. If the E actually lets that happen then it’s pretty easy to see how that’ll go down. Bryan is pissed off at the Authority and so he wants to take out Undertaker. They won’t give him a title shot so he’ll go for the one thing that means more than anything in the E; the streak. Or something to that effect. It’s not hard to book Bryan vs Taker at this point and he might be the safest opponent for Taker. As much as we’d love to see it, Brock vs Taker is not going to happen. Taker is too hurt and Brock is too rough.

What does Orton do? He fights BROOOOOOOOOOOCKKKK LESNAARRRRRRRR at Elimination Chamber and loses and the title goes to Lesnar. Lesnar then goes on to face the Royal Rumble winner…Batista. I’m not sure what Orton does at Wrestlemania but frankly I don’t give a damn. Maybe they make it a triple threat match to have a threesome at Triple X Mania. With any luck he’ll have a wellness violation by then and be gone.

How everyone in Chicago feels. Poor bastards.

NEXT! The S.H.I.E.L.D. The plans for Roman Reigns were said to be bigger than anyone could have expected. If it wasn’t for the announcement of Batista I would have figured Reigns won the rumble. If there’s an Elimination Chamber this year then he’ll win that. At the very least he’ll have a damn fine showing in the Rumble. At Wrestlemania itself is where I think you split up the SHIELD. Reigns vs Ambrose and Rollins in a handicap match. He’s beating them both down and then Mason Ryan comes out to save them, aligning himself with the SHIELD to keep them as a three man group. Reigns dies. LOL.

As for what Ryan is doing with the SHIELD? Easy! He was once part of the New Nexus and was Punk’s protoge in that group. Since then he’s been stuck in NXT. He saw the way they were attacking Punk and wanted in. He blames Punk for what happened to him and considers it a huge injustice he wants to correct. The SHIELD need a big man and they get a big man.

Okay so that’s Taker vs Bryan, Wyatt vs Cena, The SHIELD break up and argue over who gets to keep the cameras they found on the ground, Brock Lesnar vs Batista…The only guys left really are Orton, Punk, and of course Triple H. Trips has to insert himself somewhere. Oh, and Big Show I guess. No wait, he’ll be killed by Lesnar at the Royal Rumble. Fuck it, let’s have Orton fight Triple H because Trips set Lesnar on him and Randy is getting real tired of his shit. What does Punk do? Hell if I know. I’d prefer him and Trips but they need Randy to do something.

A message to you, from the WWE.

The fallout of all of this is of course the best thing. Bray loses to Cena and Bryan loses to the Undertaker. Oh and Batista is your champion or something. So anyway, Bryan gets mad at Bray and says that he feels let down and lied to. He wanted Bray to turn him into a monster and he failed, as Bryan failed to beat Taker. He also believed in Bray but now that is gone because Bray lost to Cena. Bray and Bryan start a feud and we all get moist in our panties as we get The Wyatt Family vs Super Cena and The Amazing Goat Beard Man.

Anyway, it’s three in the morning and I have to review Impact in about 9 hours. Enjoy Wrestlemania 30 folks. With luck it’ll be the first good one in a while.

The post Booking Wrestlemania XXX (Not The Chyna Parody) appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I was there! Slammy Award Winner, baby!

Anyways, I digress.  Let’s roll!

I watch 30 minutes of RAW, then leave for work, then review the rest of RAW in real-time as I watch it.  Except for when I fast-forward.  Then it’s not really “real-time,” I guess.  In any event, this review is being written by a Slammy Award Winner.  The SmackDown review can’t say that.  The RAW review can.  So that makes the RAW review better!  Of course, since it’s a popularity contest, I’ll probably lose the BWF Award.  I give them a place to talk wrestling and they like that G guy better than me.  Bastards.  

First 30 quick recap:  Daniel Bryan defeats Fandango.  The Wyatt Family appear on the titantron to invite Bryan to join them – but he says “NO!  NO!  NO!”  The New Age Outlaws introduce the nominees for “LOL Moment of the Year.”  The Rock wins for his stupid Rock Concert back before WrestleMania.  Vickie Guerrero accepts, since she was the one being made fun of in the song.  Damien Sandow defeats Santino Marella.

Triple H peeing his pants was notably not nominated for “LOL Moment of the Year.”

Double Cross of the Year

The Shield, who also won Slammy Awards earlier today, are very sharply dressed in all black suits.  Ambrose says he looks great, but they know nothing about double crosses.  Rollins and Reigns concur.  Ambrose cuts off Reigns.  The nominees are Mark Henry’s fake retirement, Shawn Michaels super kicking Daniel Bryan at Hell In A Cell, Paul Heyman turning on CM Punk at Money In The Bank, and Triple H Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at SummerSlam.  Reigns announces the winner to be Shawn Michaels.  HBK says he can’t talk too long.  He’s been fortunate to win a lot of Slammys, and he finds it ironic that this is the first time he’s ever won Double Cross of the Year, given how many times he’s done it in his career.  The fans start to chant “You sold out,” to which HBK replies “look, pinhead, I sold out a long time ago, that’s why I’m still here.”

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Oh, this again?  FFW!  Miz wins.  Didn’t see how.  Don’t care.  Apparently he hooked the tights.  Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise after the match.

Diva of the Year

Eve Torres is our presenter.  She looks great.  She puts over the Divas.  And our nominees are The Bella Twins, The Funkadactyls, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Eva Marie, and AJ Lee.  That’s a lot of nominees.  Apparently, if you have tits and are on WWE TV, you’re nominated for Diva of the year.  And the winners are The Bella Twins.  Did I miss something?  Did they promise to blow every single person who voted for them or something?  AJ not winning this award after being Divas Champion for the last six months is a travesty.

Probably.

Rey Mysterio, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, and Goldust vs. Ryback, Curtis Axel, Jack Swagger, and Antonio Cesaro (w/ Zeb Colter)

TL;DR.  FFW!  Mysterio wins with a 619 on Axel.

Superstar of the Year – already?!?

Why is this happening this early?  HBK says he should be called Mr. Slammy as he presents the nominees for Superstar of the Year.  He suggests we should change the name of this award to the HBShizzle.  The nominees are Brock Lesnar, CM Punk, The Big Show, Daniel Bryan, Randy Orton, and John Cena.  And the winner is Daniel Bryan!  Bryan and Michaels have a staredown as Bryan takes the award.  He thanks Shawn Michaels for the HBShizzle award.  If it wasn’t for HBK, Bryan probably wouldn’t be here, but then again, if it weren’t for Shawn, he’d be the WWE Champion.  He’s not angry though, the Authority don’t want him to be Superstar of the Year, it’s the people who voted him to be Superstar of the year, and if you thought 2013 was good, 2014 will be even better.  Then he says “Go Seahawks.”  JBL says it for me, “well, he supports a loser, but that’ll be real popular in San Francisco next week.”

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Speaking of San Francisco, my fellow 49ers fan, Alberto Del Rio, is facing Sin Hunico tonight.  Hunico takes over the mask, and he gets new tights.  The idiot fans chant “Seahawks” at a guy whose team beat theirs last night.  Now they’re chanting “Russell Wilson.”  JBL utters the line “This is a new Sin Cara!”  Oh, the subtlety.  The fans finally stop chanting about their football team who lost the other night to pay attention to the match, which they chant “This is Awesome” at.  It’s not terrible, it’s the first match I’m actually watching tonight.  Sin Cara picks up the win with the Swanton.  I only call it that because that’s what Michael Cole called it.  So maybe Hunico is also stealing Jeff Hardy’s gimmick.

Fan Participation Award

If Fandango wins, and I was there when Fandango-ing started, do I call myself a two-time Slammy Award Winner?  The Prime Time Players are here to present this award.  Darren Young is upset they’re not nominated.  The fans chant “Millions of Dollars,” and the PTPs do their dance.  The nominees are, Fandango-ing, YES! YES! YES!, Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks, and What’s Up!.  I hope it’s Fandango-ing!  And the winner is, Daniel Bryan!  I’m not disappointed for not winning this award, Bryan deserved this one.  He’s a bit at a loss as far as what to say, so he’ll just say YES!  YES!  YES!

Brodus Clay (w/ Tensai & The Funkadactyls) vs. Xavier Woods (w/ R-Truth)

I love Xavier Woods!  Brodus easily beats him though, very short match.  Afterward, Clay lays in to Woods, continuing to assault him.  Tensai pulls him off as R-Truth checks on him.  The Funkadactyls don’t know what to think.

Insult of the Year

The Miz is presenting Insult of the Year – which is interesting, because his face turn was an insult.  The nominees are AJ Lee’s first promo against the Total Divas, Zeb Colter (apparently not one specific insult, but just Colter overall), Paul Heyman (again, just Heyman in general), and Stephanie McMahon insulting The Big Show.  And the winner is Stephanie McMahon.  She says all of the fans have finally recognized what’s best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose (w/ Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins)

Cole continuously points out that the rest of The Shield usually head to the back when it’s a 1-on-1 match.  I saw this match on SmackDown – but it was awesome, so I’m watching this.  Ambrose escapes a GTS, and The Shield surround the ring, but Punk doesn’t care, he hits a suicide dive on Ambrose.  Reigns and Rollins stand on either side of him, glaring over, but that’s all they do.  By the time this match comes close to a finish, the fans chant “This Is Awesome,” and this time I agree.  Ambrose tosses Punk to the hounds, who once again only glare at the former WWE Champion.  Ambrose gets in Rollins’ face, and the Shield argue among themselves.  Ambrose sends Rollins and Reigns away, and Punk hits the GTS for the victory.  Rollins distracts Punk, and Reigns drops Punk with a Spear.

Video Package  Former WWE and World Champions.  This aired last week at some point too.  Later on tonight, 20 former WWE and World Champions will take part in an “Ascension Ceremony.”  How awesome would it be if The Ascension from NXT came in and took all 20 of them out?

Extreme Moment of the Year

Mick Foley is the presenter of this one.  Mick does the cheap pop bit.  The nominees are The Shield taking out The Undertaker, Ryback putting Cena through the set at whatever PPV that was, CM Punk caning the shit out of Paul Heyman at Hell In A Cell, and The Wyatt Family assaulting Kane after the match at SummerSlam.  And the winner is CM Punk.  Punk comes out to accept while clutching his ribs.  He feels strange accepting an award while not wearing pants, but he appreciates anybody who voted him.  If you thought that was extreme, tune in Sunday to see what he does to The Shield.

The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan w/ Bray Wyatt) vs. The Usos (Jimmy & Jey)

Bray Wyatt seems to enjoy this match, even when the Usos take out his boys with some high flying moves.  You know, I caught a bit of Total Divas last Sunday, and the one Uso who’s dating the Funkadactyl had to put up with her Dad coming to stay with them for a week or whatever.  He should have invited his Dad over.  That should be an upcoming episode of Total Divas.  Rikishi comes for dinner.  Or some shit.  I don’t know.  Harper nails the discus clothesline and picks up the win for the Wyatts.

Match of the Year

I’m disappointed.  The match of the year in the WWE, in my opinion, was John Cena/CM Punk on RAW the night after Elimination Chamber.  As much shit as we give Cena, when he gets in the ring with a guy like Punk who can make him look good, he’ll put on the match of the year.  Unfortunately the guy who he faced in the match that is nominated isn’t one of those guys.  Bret Hart is the presenter, and the nominees are The Undertaker vs. CM Punk at WrestleMania, Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. The Shield at Battleground (which really was an awesome match), Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar in a cage at Extreme Rules, and John Cena vs. The Rock at WrestleMania.  And the winner is John Cena vs. The Rock.  I think we may have a year where the BWF Awards worst match is the Slammy Awards best match.  We’ll find out on Sunday.  I ignore Cena’s speech entirely just so I can add the category for “Worst Match Of The Year” to our awards list.

Tamina Snuka (w/ AJ Lee) vs. Natalya

Tamina accidentally knocks AJ off the apron with Natalya, who locks in a Sharpshooter off of the distraction and picks up the win.

Ascension Ceremony

Big Show, CM Punk, Rey Mysterio, Daniel Bryan, The Miz, Mark Henry, Great Khali, Booker T, Bret Hart, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Alberto Del Rio, Mick Foley, Jack Swagger, Christian, and Dolph Ziggler are all out there.  Including Cena, Orton, and Triple H, that’s only 19.  They said 20.  Oh well, whatever.   The fans chant for Daniel Bryan so loudly they take over the entire segment.  Triple H says “that’s a lot of family for one building.”  Triple H brings out Randy Orton and John Cena.  They relinquish their championships, which are then hung on a special new hanger as Orton cuts a promo that the fans in Seattle say is boring.  He takes shots at Foley, Michaels, and Hart.  Cena brings Bryan to the forefront, and the fans chant “YES!”  Cena asks his name.  He says “Daniel Bryan.”  Cena asks where he’s from.  Bryan says “Aberdeen, Washington.”  Cena asks if his parents were WWE Superstars.  Bryan says they weren’t.  Cena says the reason they cheer for him is because he works and he earns it.  Orton’s been handed everything.  He’s untouchable because “they liked you.”  He hides behind the Authority, and he has the balls to say he’s better than anybody here?  Cena says Orton wants the titles because he’s selfish.  Cena takes the time to put over several guys in the ring, while putting himself over in the process, promising Bryan that he looks forward to a rematch if he wins on Sunday.  Cena says Sunday will be physical and brutal, and he’ll be at his very best, and he hopes Orton is too, because the last thing anybody wants to deal with is another Randy Orton excuse.  Cena offers a handshake and good luck.  Orton shakes on it, and the titles are raised.  Orton nails Cena, and another brawl happens.  Punk gets shoved by Orton, and Punk goes after Orton.  Triple H pulls Punk off of Orton, and Punk goes after Triple H, but eats Sweet Chin Music from HBK.  Bryan hits the knee on HBShizzle, and Orton goes for an RKO, but gets shoved into Stephanie.  Triple H Pedigrees Orton, and Cena helps Stephanie to her feet along with Triple H and Kane.  Orton comes to and sees Cena standing with The Authority as RAW goes off the air.

Thoughts:  Match of the year?  Really?  I also find it funny that I was in attendance for three of the nominees, including the winner.  If anything, the Punk/Undertaker match was far better than Cena/Rock at WrestleMania.  I think the Rhodes/Shield match should have taken that and would have gotten my vote if I were home to do so.  But alas, I have a chance to hand out some awards of my own this Sunday at 2PM Eastern on BoredWrestlingFan Radio.  Click “PODCAST” up at the top of the site to listen live on Sunday, where our guest panelist will be Hornsby from BotchedSpot.com!

The post WWE RAW 12/10/13 – The Slammy Awards appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Oh this is going to be painful.

The show starts with CM Punk…wait what? Maybe this won’t be so bad. A girl can dream. Most of my dreams involve frosting though. Punk’s been spending the past week trying to work out why he was attacked. He wants to be wrong and brings up how he criticised Trips and implies that was why. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with anyone in the authority so doesn’t want to be right, and then goes on to call Trips dense. They seem to be setting up Trips vs Punk. Guess he’s gotta bury someone. He calls the authority a bunch of names including douchebag which gets censored and causes Stephanie to come out. Stephanie says that her family are big on free speech. Just ask the people who have their signs taken away. She and Trips have matured, but Punk hasn’t and claims The Authority was just as upset when Punk got attacked. They have bigger things to be worried about this week like a contract signing. She directs Punk to the D.O.O if he has any more problems.

I think this is exploitable.

Kane comes out and gives a list of his duties. He basically runs the day to day operations as the title suggests. He’s conducted an investigation and come to the conclusion that The Authority had nothing to do with the attack on Punk, and asks Punk if he has any questions. Punk asks him when he became the Big Red Ass Kisser and pretty much challenges him to a match. Kane starts walking down to the ring and Steph stops him. The Shield’s music hit and Steph looks surprised while Punk grabs some chairs to keep things even. Stephanie actually tells the Shield to stop, and says Punk is to be respected and admired. Kane tells Punk that he’ll be in a handicap match against the Shield at TLC.

They plug the contract signing and Cole actually DID say that it would be a unification match and reads the quote from Trips about how it’s going to a unification match. They even have an app poll on what the champion will be called. Your choices are The Unified Champion, The Undisputed WWE Champion, The Undisputed World Champion, or Super Cena.

Damien Sandow vs Dolph Ziggler to be #1 Contender for the Intercontinental Championship
Before the match, Sandow cuts a promo on something no one cares about; the IC belt. Big E Smalls is sat on commentary. Big E says that he’d rather face Ziggler. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone actually answer that question. The match isn’t bad, it’s just that they had those hardcore matches and now they have to have a normal match. Talk about blowing your load early. Sandow wins with the “You’re Welcome”. I didn’t even know that move had a name. Shows how much attention I pay. Of course, Sandow won’t win the title. It’ll take more than one pasty white guy to beat one giant black man.

I think I could make a joke about black serial killers. I won’t though, I’m not a gaycist

AJ Lee, Tamina, and Summer Rae vs Natalya and The Bellas
AJ skips around the ring for nearly the entire match. The fans chant AJ’s crazy and Natalya tries to get a “Brie” chant going. I guess the WWE Universe aren’t big fans of cheese. Summer uses her ballet prowess to strangle Brie on the ropes and then hits her with her ass. At least she’s getting SOME offense in. AJ gets on the apron and is tagged in when Summer is left on her own. Natalya wins in the end, getting the pinfall on AJ. I think I paid more attention to that match than the WWE have paid to the divas division in a while. AJ perks up and skips backstage.

Turns out Daniel Bryan was found in a car park, he’s facing the Wyatts on his own.

Bad News Barrett time. Barrett is back and he has a podium. The good news is that they’re live on RAW. The bad news is that they’re in an arena full of hillbillies. That was pretty much it. What a great return.

I’m now a fifth of the way through the show. Oh God this is painful.

Quite terrible indeed.

Randall Keith Or-tron is backstage with Brad Maddox. He demands that Brad tells the Authority how awesome he is. He’s bigger than the WWE itself. I remember Vinny Mac saying no one is bigger than the WWE. Subtle hint at a return? Nah, this is the Fed.

Daniel Bryan vs The Wyatt Family
Seriously, it’s amazing how many wrestlers look like my brother, but how little he looks like a wrestler. They actually plug Steve Austin’s podcast, Bryan was on there. Bryan hits quick moves and submissions to wear Rowan down and fails to lock in the Yes Lock. From what I can tell, Rowan looked pretty good. He actually caught Bryan in midair and threw him into the barricade. “IN THE FACE” as one fan felt the need to shout.

Back from commercial and Bryan was still getting taken down by Rowan. I thought Harper was the one they had confidence in. Bryan got sent to the outside by a heck of a clothesline and sent into the steel steps with authority. That’s WITH authority, not BY the authority. That’s a later match. Bryan tried to fight back but never stayed in it for long. He finally reversed a press into a rollup for the victory. The lights go out while he celebrates and Wyatt appears on the big screen. He tells the family to stand down and tells Bryan they won’t hurt him unless he tells them too. Wyatt says that he’s done a lot of bad things, like being Husky Harris, and he’s ready to accept when he’s wrong. He was wrong about Bryan and admits to stalking him. Bray Wyatt honestly mentions Total Divas. Not by name though. He says he saw Bryan get Brie a ring and asks Bryan how long it’ll be until they realise his dirty little feet are soiling their red carpets. Wyatt understands Bryan, but everyone else looks at him like a gorilla in a cage. They can’t love Bryan like he does, and together they can bring the machine down. I’m not sure if Wyatt is a face or a heel.

Bryan walks around backstage nervously and bumps into Kane. Kane congratulates Bryan and says that as he and Punk are friends, they should both face the same challenge. Kane sets up a match for TLC between Bryan and all three Wyatts and walks off mocking the “Yes!” chant.

Even as a Wyatt he would be my role model. My God.

Truth and Consequences vs Tons of Funk
Tons of Funk do their usual entrance. They’re so menacing now they’re heels. I don’t care anymore. I’m not watching. Xavier Woods pins Brodus. Post match Brodus and Tensai tease a breakup. Damn I love Xavier’s afro.

Sin Cara (wait what?) vs Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio cuts a promo on Sin Cara before the match begins. It’s some anti-Mexican stuff about border hoppers. Srsly. You know, I actually like Sin Cara. I enjoy the fast paced and high flying stuff. Sin Cara also has a tattoo now. My guess is he got it to stop them from just putting someone else in his mask. Joe later informed me on Facebook that he had a tattoo because it was Hunico. Del Rio dominates most of the match but Sin Cara manages to get the win. Maybe they are trying to restore Sin Cara after all. Or Hunico. They need a Rey 2. One that preferably has knees.

Renee Young is backstage with Cena. She asks Cena what it would mean to be the undisputed champion. He says some stuff. I tune out. He gets a “woo” in and does an impression of JT Hogan. There’s one WWE, one Universe, and there should only be one champion. To be that champion would mean everything to him.

The Shield are backstage at a Ring Of Honor event. They cut a promo on Punk about how he couldn’t beat even one of them. He’ll be dead going against all three.

This review needs more Bryan. Remember when his beard was that short?

Rhodes Family and Big Show vs The Shield
At this point in the show I actually went on the BWF group and said I don’t think I like wrestling anymore. This show is terrible and drags and drags and drags and drags and drags and FUCKING DRAGS. I’m never going to say anything bad about Joe and the RAW review again. Big Show starts the match and I legitimately do not care. He at least demonstrates some psychology by pulling up Ambrose’s shirt to chop him. JBL is pretty grating on commentary too. I’m seeing visions of Hell. Big Show even overpowers Roman Reigns. So much for that push. Show doesn’t even bother to take off the riot jacket to chop him. Ambrose comes in and is briefly entertaining before Big Show goes back to shitting on everything. I did hear Seth Rollins shout “YOU GOTTA PULL ON HIS BEARD!” though. That was fun. Punk watches backstage as Goldust and Cody isolate Punk Jr, also known as Seth Rollins. Taking the mick out of the show cheered me up a bit and made the show more entertaining. I’m really understanding why the crowd chant for anything other than what’s in the ring.

Goldust comes in at some point. Things go to Hell after that and Reigns gives Big Show a Spear before he can Chokeslam Ambrose. Goldust gives Ambrose a superplex and Rollins gets a quick rollup pin on Goldust for the win. Other than Big Show, that was a pretty good match and I enjoyed the ending. Ring psychology lives in the Shield.

Thank you Wrasslermonkey for this.

Renee is with CM Punk. She wants his reaction the TLC match. He’s pretty happy about it. He even sings about feeling pretty and being gay. Turns out he’s not actually happy though. He knows he’s going to go down, and wonders how many of the Shield he’s going to go down on. I mean, take down with him.

Bad News Barrett is back. The bad news is that the show is still going on.

Kofi Kingston and The Miz vs The Paul Heyman guys.
Don’t care. Don’t care. I DON’T CARE. Ryback gets the win on Kofi. After the match Miz heels on Kofi.

Los Matadores do a WWE Shop ad. I DON’T CARE.

Mark Henry vs Fandango
Typical jobber fare. Mark Henry dominates and wins. Post match Mark Henry does some dancing.

The Real Americans vs Prime Time Players
Zeb Colter asks the fans what kind of man likes to puke on another man. PTP now means Prime Time Pukers and deviant behaviour like that won’t be tolerated. WE THE PEOPLE! I can say that even though I’m British right? Swagger starts things off with Titus and it doesn’t take long for them to isolate Titus in their corner. A fan shouts “THAT’S ASSAULT!” as Swagger assaults Titus. It’s not “assault” it’s an “insult” to your eyes and intelligence. Cesaro goes for the giant swing but Swagger and Colter try to get him to stop. Cesaro doesn’t listen and does it anyway. He’s a total face now. Colter interrupts the swing and Titus teases puking. Darren calls him over and tags in and fights off both racists. Cesaro reverses a top rope move in to one of his sick uppercuts (pardon the pun) and picks up the win.

They reveal the winner of the poll to decide the name of the undisputed champion. The Unified Champion won, so it’s not the Undisputed champion anymore, rendering that last sentence null and void. Cole says the Administration will take that result into consideration meaning that anyone who actually took the time to vote WASTED their time because they weren’t deciding anything. Way to go.

The E trolls along

Contract signing for the championship match
Triple H and Steph come out first. I don’t care. God I don’t care. Trips grabs a mic and talks up the “unification” match. The winner will walk out THE champion. Steph emphasizes that there will be ONE winner, ONE unified champion, and they guarantee it. They then call out Or-Tron. Fast forwarding through his entrance saved me about ten minutes of misery. It was actually about four minutes but that’s still too long. Then Cena comes out. Skipping through him saved me a few more minutes. Triple H talks up both titles and Steph makes a point he held both. They wanted to unify the titles a while ago, but they couldn’t because they wanted to make sure that the two guys in the unification match were worthy of an undisputed championship. Whoever wins this match will basically be a God. If there is a God, he is cruel and bitter. That’s what WWE RAW tonight has taught me. Randy signs the contract first in his own oil. Then Cena signs it. Then Triple H puts both their autographs on eBay and Steph hands the floor over to Or-Tron.

Or-Tron says he’s better than all the other champions, including Triple H. He has something in common with the audience and that’s that they don’t like Cena much and he says he’s the only one who can beat Cena. Orton says he’s spent the last six years destroying the hopes and dreams of other people and shitting in bags. The only dream that Orton ruined is Triple H’s because Trips chose him to be the best and he never lived up to his potential. Cena says that Orton had the potential to be the best, but then he got cocky and lazy. Cena says he’s never been asked to be the face, he’s just been the first to show up and the last to leave. Cena actually cuts a pretty decent promo. He always cuts a good promo when he’s not doing stupid comedy. He gives Or-Tron the choice of leaving, or making a move. He should be careful saying that, Or-Tron is a closet rapist. He threatens Or-Tron and calls him out. A brawl worthy of the go home show breaks out. Talk about blowing their load early. Again. Wonder what they’ll do next week now. Cena dominates until Or-Tron fights back with a ladder and some chair shots. The fans chant for tables and Orton obliges by slowly setting up a table. Cena fights back and shoves Or-Tron into a table set up in the corner and then gives him an AA through the one Or-Tron set up. Cena poses with both belts and the show goes off the air.

I had to go out, got bored, and reused a gif. Sue me.

I actually kind of want to see this match now but for the most part this show was slow and painful to watch. I get the feeling the PPV won’t be any different. Not to mention this wasn’t actually the go home show, no matter how much that last segment would have made a good go home segment. It wasn’t completely and utterly terrible but making jokes about the show was the highlight for me. This stuff really drags and I had no clue how much until I actually had to pay attention to it. Three hours is way too long.

The post WWE RAW 02/12/2013, A British Invasion appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Aces and Eights start the show off, and Taz says that Brooke isn’t skanky. The videos of her twerking on Impact’s website would disagree. Bully cuts a promo about the swerve last week and says that the club is about quality, not quantity. They don’t really have much of that either. He doesn’t need the championship to be the be all and end all, and he’s still that. He cuts a promo on Anderson and accepts his match, saying this time he’ll piledrive him through the stage instead of just on it. Anderson’s music hits and he comes out. He has a microphone so I tune out. Anderson tries to add the stipulation that if he wins, Aces and Eights are disbanded. Bully disagrees so Anderson sweetens the pot. His wife is pregnant and if Bully wins, he’ll leave TNA and go be a dad. Bully says he’d like to piledrive Anderson’s wife and calls Ken crazy. A beatdown starts before Bully can actually accept the new stips. Anderson actually fights them off and challenges any member of Aces and Twos to a fight.

Floating Hedgehogs make everything better.

Anderson vs Knux

We come back from commercial to a match between Knux and Mr Anderson. The commentators confirm that the new stips are now added and if Anderson loses next week, then he’s done. Knux controlled most of the match but in the end Anderson hit a mic check out of nowhere for the win. You might think I didn’t note much down, and that it was because I was eating my lunch, and you’d be right. The match was incredibly slow anyway so it’s not like it matters.

There’s one of their Impact 365 videos with Joseph Park challenging Christopher Daniels to a match. After that there’s a backstage segment with Bad Influence. Daniels has no idea why Park is mad at him and accepts the challenge. Daniels actually references the TV title and says that he’ll find it. The segment ends with an appearance by Bobby Roode. Bad Influence have a new t-shirt. I bet it’s received better than the Dixie Land shirt.

There’s a video package putting over the submission match between Aries and Angle and submission matches in general. That was pretty awesome.

Oh the puns.

Christopher Daniels vs Joseph Park
Park rules the match with his size and power advantage. Daniels asks Park to help him up after a knockdown and Park gives him a clothesline before Daniels can hit the cheap shot. Daniels takes control of the match and Taz is actually entertaining. Park fails with the Ass Splash and I do agree with Taz, I don’t think he’s ever hit that move. Why does he keep trying it? Park hits some strong offense for a two count and actually goes to the top rope. Well, the second rope. Daniels runs into the opposite corner and Park gives him a running splash instead. Daniels demolishes Park with a low blow and gets the win.

Bischoff and Bully are backstage consoling Knux on his loss and telling him it’s okay. Bully reassures them that he’s going to win and get rid of him and they go off to a strip club. Yep. Bully tells them to not tell Brooke about going to a strip club.

I didn’t save many screenshots. Enjoy more puns.

EC3 vs Norv Fernum and Dewey Barnes in a handicap match
Well they gave us a handicap match which is something different. I guess. I still don’t care. I love EC3. I love his physical charisma. I love the poses and the facials (COCK TALK!) but I’m tired of this crap. I’m fast forwarding. Ethan Carter won of course and the commentators argue if he’s 8-0 or 9-0 after beating two guys at once.

Another video package on AJ Styles going down to AAA. Dixie is in the truck asking why it aired. They explained that one last week. Her problem is with Spike TV and their affiliates, I doubt it’s something the boys in the truck are doing.

Video package with Jeff Hardy saying he chipped his tooth last week. He’s going to study whoever wins the match tonight and he’s going to do what it takes to win the title again. He also says that he thinks it’s great that after 16 years he’s still able to have matches like he did last week and he’s proud that he can go out there and still make kids. Make them smile that is. Then he ends it by saying he’s glad he can still touch people. Kinda a bad thing to say after talking about making kids smile. Is he Frankie Feathers?

Jeff Hardy is the devil and he’s ruining wrestling one drug charge at a time.

Dixie Carter comes out to the ring and does the one thing no one wants her to do; She grabs a microphone. She puts over how awesome she is and how right she was to kick AJ off the roster. It proved that no one, other than her, is irreplacable. It’s a business and it’s all about “What have you done for me lately?” All AJ has done lately is steal stuff and defended her title when he’s not the world heavyweight champion. Dixie actually forgot Chris Sabin’s name. I hope that was deliberate. She says that Jeff Hardy beat “someone” in a Full Metal Mayhem match. She then puts over the Free Per View next week and brings out Bobby Roode, James Storm, Samoa Joe, and Magnus. Storm and Roode have a match next week. They really should have put that over more. I had no idea and those two have history they can draw from to make it feel like a big deal.

By the way, Dixie has fans.

Earlier in the day she spun the Wheel of Dixie and Storm and Roode have a bull rope match. Dixie says that Storm needs to step up his game and show her what he’s made of because Roode has beaten Angle not once but twice. Storm grabs a mic and tells Dixie she’s not ready to ride this rodeo and Storm says that it’s time a redneck took over the company. Hey Storm, AJ Styles IS a redneck, and he DID take the title. So fuck you.

Dixie mocks Samoa Joe a little by calling him a TNA original, like his little friend AJ Styles. Joe and Magnus are having a Falls Count Anywhere match. Joe cuts a promo on Dixie and says that they’re just there to cover her bad business and inability to deal with AJ. It’s cool though, because Joe is going to cover for her. As soon as he wins that title he’s going to defend it against the man who never lost it in the first place, no matter if it’s in TNA or anywhere else in the world. That’s AJ Styles of course. Magnus grabs the mic and says that if he wants to be the top dog he has to beat the best. That would be Joe. It’s not easy, but it’s going to happen. Dixie gets the microphone again and reiterates that the tournament is to crown her new champion and that they will be the one true champion. Not bad at all considering it was a segment with Dixie in it.

There’s no particular reason for this.

Anderson and Bischoff have themselves a good old fashioned backstage brawl. I guess Bischoff didn’t go to the strip club. It ends with Anderson handcuffing Bischoff to something and walking off. The cameraman could have just released him.

There’s a video package detailing some of Angle’s TNA career.

Gail Kim comes out and recounts her open challenge. Someone showed up to answer that challenge and that someone is Hannah Blossom.

Gail Kim vs Hannah Blossom
Hannah is one of the Blossom Twins from their British Boot Camp show. Does she really count? I guess so because they aren’t with OVW anymore. Well anyway, Gail Kim just beats the shit out of her of course. Hannah eventually gets some offense in, including a snap suplex, but there was no way it was going to last. Gail hits her Eat De-Feet for the win.

If this wasn’t a taped show, I’d say this was the first time this guy saw a real woman.

Post match Gail cuts a promo saying she’ll continue to prove time and time again that she’s the best. Not a bad start to the open challenge. These things need to build up remember. Those big names you mentioned? They might come in, but it won’t be straight away.

Joseph Park comes out to the ring for some reason. He has a promo to cut. When he came in a year and half ago, he only planned to find his brother Abyss. The support of the fans made him stick around though. Kaz and Daniels are pissing him off. They say he’ll never be as good as Abyss and they’re right because Abyss is a legend and will be a TNA hall of famer. They’ve been asking him where Abyss is but he’s got no clue. Abyss is crazy and there’s no telling when he’ll show up. Park has a solution to the problem and he actually issues an open challenge to Abyss. Has technology evolved enough for them to make that match possible?

Kinda hope not, or we’ll get this match.

Austin Aries vs Kurt Angle in a submission match.
It’s times like this I wish I knew more about technical wrestling or had someone like Tenay to tag out to. I’ll do my best. Before the match can even start they cut backstage. Anderson and Bischoff are still there and Bischoff looks like he’s been raped. Anderson undoes the handcuffs and walks off with Bischoff on his back. Now back to what we care about, Aries and Angle. It starts off slow with them trading submissions and they also both quickly get their signature submissions in. Angle counters an attempted STF and Aries goes back to softening him up. That ends with a powerful tilt-a-whirl backbreaker which is the cue for Roode to come out on to the ramp with a chair. He just plans to sit down on it though. Aries attempts to capitalise on the distraction with a top rope move but Angle catches him and gives him a belly to belly suplex.

We come back from commercial break with Aries in control of the match. Angle takes it back with another Belly to Belly and hits the three German Suplexes. Angle counters not one, but two seperate dropkicks into Ankle Locks and Aries gets out of both of them. Aries hits the Brainbuster and floats over into the Last Chancery. Aries releases the hold for some reason. Taz tries to cover it by saying he could tell that he wasn’t locked in properly and released the hold because of it. Angle hits another three German Suplexes but Aries holds on to the ropes to stop the third one. Aries misses a 450 and counters two Angle Slams. He then slams himself into the corner and Angle wins with the Crossface. That’s Bobby Roode’s hold. Pretty good finish to a pretty good match. I feel a little bad for Aries though. He was just the fuel in the Angle and Roode fire.

A surprising look at the TNA offices.

Anderson comes out with Bischoff’s corpse before the show can go off the air. He hits the piledriver on to the stage to Garret and tears off his Aces and Eights jacket while Angle and Roode watch. After that the show goes off the air.

Not bad at all really. Definitely a step up from last week. There was some very good ring work and the promos were pretty great too. Even Dixie did a good job. I just wish they would do something more with EC3 and maybe not have Aries actually look like he was just a tool to get the Angle and Roode match over.

The post TNA Impact Wrestling 14/11/13 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Hilarious.

Jorge misses another episode, and is portrayed by JT in the various “BoredWrestlingFan Theatre” segments throughout the show.  We have connection problems throughout the show.  We discuss  Night of Champions, RAW, ROH (and Death Before Dishonor), IMPACT, and SmackDown.  Sunny works the dirtsheets, Duke “The Dumpster” Drose gets arrested, and Kevin Nash rips Impact.  What does the future hold for BJ Whitmer?  Why is Triple H comparing WWE to Disney?  Why is Jeff Jarrett taking a more active role backstage with TNA?  Why do I keep asking you?  Find out the answers to most of these by clicking the link below and listening to the show for yourself!  Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 92 (MP3, 2:07:44)

This week’s break song was Middle Means by Cyril Rufus.  Which I can’t seem to find a link to purchase.  So…  Sorry.

A special happy birthday to our friend, Cleveland Browns TE Gary Barnidge, who I’m fairly certain was the guy behind the announcers with his team on RAW this past Monday.  Congrats on beating the Vikings, my friend!

The post BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 92 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

You know the drill by now.  I talk about this show, I show you pictures of Kodos, you go and read the SmackDown review.

First 30:  Triple H brings out Randall Keith Orton, who says Daniel Bryan shouldn’t even get his title shot at Night of Champions.  H-Cubed compares Daniel Bryan to a popular Superstar of the past – Doink The Clown – and says that clowns aren’t what’s best for business.  Bryan comes out and says he’s going to beat Orton because Orton says he can’t.  Triple H books Bryan vs. Big Show for tonight.  Backstage, Cody Rhodes says tonight’s Bryan/Big Show match would be great if nobody gets involved.  He questions whether Orton is scared of Bryan, and Triple H complains that he and Orton didn’t get invitations to Rhode’s wedding, and books Orton vs. Rhodes, implying that Rhodes will be fired if he loses.

Fandango vs. The Miz

Let’s start a program at SummerSlam and have the payoff on Monday Night RAW!  That’s what’s best for business, right?  Fuck it, FFW.  Miz wins with the can’t figure it out four.  Fandango also got his nose broken during the match, according to the announcers.  I call bullshit – it’d be bleeding if it was broken.

Up next on RAW:  Last week’s RAW!

Reruns of Rerun, so What’s Happenin’?

Backstage, Booker T runs in to Daniel Bryan.  Book says Bryan can’t win this fight with the regime.  He tells Bryan he should think about giving up the title match.  Bryan responds “tell me you did not just say that.”  Booker tells him to tread lightly.

Last week:  Paul Heyman beat down CM Punk with a cane.  I think they showed this video on Thunder, or whatever that stupid blue show is called, but I can’t be arsed to find out for sure.

Brad Maddox apparently told Dolph Ziggler he has a match, but didn’t tell him who his opponent is.  Guess we’ll find out when he does.

Booker T watching this show.

Ziggler gets attacked by Dean Ambrose from behind.  After beating down Ziggler, Ambrose says “you’ll learn respect.”  Then Dolph Ziggler’s actual opponent makes his way out – Ryback.

Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “Goldberg” chants are extremely audible this week…  Needless to say, this is all Ryback.  Ziggler shows signs of life, dropkicking Ryback out of the Meathook and wailing away, but it doesn’t last long before Ryback manages to actually hit the Meathook, followed up with the Shell Shocked for the win.

Backstage, Stephanie and Triple H are met by Brad Maddox, who says Big Show refuses to face Daniel Bryan.  Stephanie says she’s going to call Big Show out and take care of it.

Yep, a Benny Camer GIF. From a SmackDown review I did last year.

Los Matadores vignette airs.  Nobody cares.

Stephanie McMahon gives a very kind introduction to The Big Show.  She asks him about not wanting to face Daniel Bryan.  She says he taught her a long time ago that it’s ok to do things you don’t want to do if you’re willing to pay the price.  She says “you’re looking in the eyes of your twelve year old friend.”  Hold up.  Wait.  Big Show joined WWE in 1999.  He most likely didn’t meet Stephanie until then.  When she was 22.  That line didn’t make ANY FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.  I digress.  She says Big Show is broke.  With his high priced, iron clad contract.  She says if he doesn’t perform his duties he’s in breach of his contract.  She says he’d be the World’s Largest Gas Station Attendant if he didn’t work here.  She brings up the fact that giants don’t live as long as normal people.  This is the most nonsensical promo.  And to top it off, the fans chant “Y2J.”

Of course not. It is Monday, after all.

Big Show is crying backstage, and then starts throwing stuff around and breaking things.

3MB are here to save the show!  :plays air guitar:  And they’re here to job to the Prime Time Players!

3MB (Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal w/ Drew McIntyre) vs. The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young)

Heath Slater is fucking awesome.  Even if he is getting his ass beat by Titus.  King says he’s got a tribute band playing at his museum tonight.  “They’re called OC/DC.  They play all the hits, but in alphabetical order.”  3MB actually dominate a good portion of this match, believe it or not.  At least they do until O’Neil gets the hot tag back in.  He hits the Clash of the Titus on Jinder and picks up the win.

These guys are awesome live!

Brad Maddox is on the phone when he’s interrupted by Paul Heyman.  Heyman’s not a big fan of Maddox right now, since Maddox made the Handicap Elimination Match at Night of Champions.  He questions whether that’s what’s best for business.  Then Triple H walks in.  He says he approved that match.  Paul asks why.  Triple H says he’s a huge fan of Heyman, and his ability to weasel out of precarious situations.  He says if Heyman finds a way out, or if he gets his beating by Punk, Triple H is happy because that’s what’s best for business.

Video:  Bray Wyatt addresses the whereabouts of Kane.  “Kane made his bed, and now, he’s burning in it.”

Cody Rhodes is out for his match with Randy Orton – and if he doesn’t win, it’s apparently the last entrance he’ll ever make in WWE.

“Why don’t you do me a favor, Brad?”  No clue what that was all about.  I think it was Cody who said it, but the camera was on the announce team, and they didn’t say anything about it.  Orton makes his way to the ring, and we’re ready for action.  As soon as Randy gets there.  Which will happen eventually.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton (If Cody Loses, he’s Fired)

I’m only watching to see how Cody manages to get out of this.  Somebody will help him, I’m sure.  Either that, or he’s going to lose, only to have somebody re-sign him at some point down the line.  Actual tweet on the screen during this match:  @LiizMarieDiaz: %CnnKp#”Eqog”qp”Eqf{#”%TCY0.  (She later tweeted:  “Alright, who else saw WWE botch my tweet?”  Sin Cara is working the Twitter booth tonight, apparently.)  Cody nails a Disaster Kick but only scores a two count as the fans chant his name.  Either that or “Toledo.”  Orton avoids a Cody moonsault (which looks better every week), and drops him with an elevated DDT.  He calls for the RKO, but Rhodes catches him with the CrossRhodes – but only scores two.  Cody tweaked his knee on a Disaster Kick attempt, and Orton drops him with an RKO for the victory.

Triple H says Cody went all in and fought like his life was on the line.  He fought with heart, and Triple H says he has no idea how much he respects Cody.  But this is a business, and in business, he needs winners, so he can’t let his personal feelings cloud his judgment and do what’s right for everybody in the back.  It’s with deep regret that he has to tell Cody he’s fired.

CM Punk heads to the ring, dragging along a Singapore Cane.  Fuck your Kendo Stick, Michael Cole.  CM Punk says he promises no more empty threats.  Punk is ready to compete, but wrestling is the furthest thing from his mind right now.  He wants a fight.  He wants to fight Paul Heyman, and he’ll fight Curtis Axel to get to him.  Punk addresses his supporters, saying that in 13 days he guarantees he’ll get past Axel and get his hands on Paul Heyman at Night of Champions.  “Last week, he said I broke his heart.  At Night of Champions, I’m gonna break his face.  I promise.”

Big Show comes into Bryan’s locker room and says he didn’t want any part of this match tonight.  Bryan says it doesn’t matter, he’ll deal with whatever obstacles Triple H puts in his way.  Show says this is getting very real after what happened to Cody tonight.  Show says he’s in a no win situation.  Bryan says it is a no-win situation, because he’ll beat Big Show tonight, just like he did for his first World Championship.

RAW Rewind:  #PipeBombShell

Naomi vs. Brie Bella vs. Natalya (winner faces AJ Lee at Night of Champions)

AJ is on commentary.  That’s the only reason to pay any attention to this.  Naomi hits the Rear View on Naomi, but AJ breaks up the pin.  AJ then gets assaulted by all three of them.  It’s the worst 3-on-1 beatdown in wrestling history.  Not in terms of violence, but in terms of acting.

AJ – the one Diva who actually doesn’t sound horrible on commentary.

We get another Los Matadores vignette.  Damien Sandow is in the ring.  Ricardo Rodriguez announces RVD and his rectangular pyro, and we’ve got a re-match from Velocity.  Or whatever that stupid show they have on Fridays is called.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez)

RVD gains control of the match, and Alberto Del Rio comes out to the stage to watch, which distracts RVD and allows Sandow to take over.  During this match, they show a tweet from Edge:  “Comin back home to #Raw and Toronto next Monday. Raw gets Rated R. That’s good for business. See ya next week Edgeheads, bring your earplugs.”  RVD eventually hits the five star for the win.

I’m falling asleep over here.  Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan is still to come, and it’s apparently not next.

Edge returns, NEXT WEEK!

Stephanie McMahon makes the predictable fatal four way for the Divas title at Night of Champions.

Cody Rhodes gets escorted out of the building, but first he stops to talk to Josh Mathews.  He says Orton was the better man.  He’s not surprised they did this to him, the McMahons have hated the Rhodes’ for the last 20 years.  Josh asks about Cody’s fiancee, and Cody walks out.

Speaking of walking out, the WWE Superstars are gathered on the ramp again, just like the last two weeks.  They’ll be watching the main event – NEXT!

Bryan is out first for his match.  Big Show reluctantly follows.  We see a clip from SmackDown, which Michael Cole himself called “excruciating to watch.”  Which explains the review.

Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show is reluctant to actually fight, he tells Bryan to take it easy.  Bryan won’t back down, and he puts the boots to the World’s Largest Athlete.  Finally, he frustrates Show to the point where the big man actually starts to fight back.  He begs Bryan not to make him hurt him.  Bryan won’t stay down and continues kicking away at The Big Show.  Show spears a flying Bryan out of the air.  Show sets up for the knockout punch, but decides to leave instead.  Triple H comes out with The Shield, ordering Big Show back in the ring.  Show starts to walk up the aisle, when The Shield jump in and attack Bryan.  Show gets back in the ring, and Triple H stops him, telling him to think about his family and to do what’s right for himself.  The Shield drop Bryan with another Triple Powerbomb while Big Show looks on helplessly.  Triple H tells Show to ball up the fist and knock Daniel Bryan out.  Show refuses.  He steps out of the ring and begs Triple H to leave him alone.  Stephanie McMahon’s music hits, and people in the crowd yell “don’t listen to her!” and “Punch Stephanie!”  Stay classy, WWE Universe.  She pleads with Show, offering him one last chance.  Show gets back in the ring as Triple H repeats his orders.  Show turns toward Triple H, but Stephanie steps in his way.  Show complies, knocking out Daniel Bryan, crying the whole time.  Triple H and Stephanie tell him he did the right thing as the fans chant “you sold out.”  Orton’s music hits, and the WWE Champion walks down to the ring.  Once again, RAW ends with Randy Orton standing over a fallen Daniel Bryan.

Thoughts:  This is starting to get old.  Bryan and Ziggler need to get some kind of revenge on Triple H and Randy Orton.  Big Show needs to man up.  And where the fuck did that Cody Rhodes shit come from?  I can’t wait to see how Edge gets involved in all of this next week.  Oh well.  I’m done.  Goodnight.  See you Sunday.

The post WWE RAW 9/2/13: Labor on Labor Day. appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave, come to work, watch the rest of the show and writes what I sees.  Since RAW is the “A” show, I rarely have to make stuff up for this review, unlike SOME reviews on this site.

First 30 quick recap:  John Cena kicks off the show, says his football like elbow is from a torn tricep that doctors wanted him to skip SummerSlam to get fixed.  Cena’s a fighting champion, and puts over Daniel Bryan for beating him fair and square at SummerSlam.  He brings out Bryan, but before he can speak, Stephanie McMahon interrupts him.  She says he’s not fit to be the face of the company.  Bryan says the fans disagree.  Stephanie disparages Bryan some more, Bryan calls her trash.  She says she’ll let that slide.  Bryan slaps the mic out of her hand.  She has him removed by security.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes (SummerSlam rematch)

These two actually had a halfway decent match at SummerSlam (workrate!), and we get the rematch tonight.  The announcers say that Damien Sandow was whining backstage all day about losing at SummerSlam, which contradicts the fact that Josh Mathews said that Sandow still says he’s the better man on the WWE App before this match.  Yes, I was that bored I decided to watch with the WWE App while I was home.  Cubito Aequet after the break, but Rhodes battles back.  Rhodes hits the Disaster Kick, but Sandow rolls out of the ring as the Anaheim crowd chants “Where’s Your Mustache?”  Rhodes winds up winning with a sunset flip.  Another good match between the two of them.  Rhodes seems to think he should be the number one contender since he’s beaten Mr. Money In The Bank twice.

Brad Maddox is the GM of Monday Night RAW, and after the events of last night, various individuals gave their opinions on Triple H, including Dolph Ziggler:

“…I wondered what his intentions were.  To be honest, I have never really trusted him since I started working here…“

Maddox says it’s not because of these remarks, but because Ziggler is a show-off.  WWE likes to give Ziggler a chance to show off any chance they can, so tonight he’ll be in a three-on-one handicap match vs. the Shield.

Paul Heyman is walking backstage with one arm in a sling.  He’s up next!

Ronald McDonald takes tips from Daniel Bryan.

Paul Heyman is in the ring to address the WWE Universe.  I read somewhere that he’s already picked his new client and it may be a Paul Heyman Girl.  Anywho, Heyman has a life lesson for everybody.  Punk had to fly away from the next and prove his self worth.  Heyman will admit that Punk gave Brock Lesnar all he could handle at SummerSlam.  But where do we go from here?  Paul says it’s time to end this family feud.  He’s been more of a father to Punk than his real father.  So when big brother Lesnar slapped sense into Punk’s head, Heyman realized that this is a time for forgiveness, and he forgives CM Punk.  Heyman says when Punk apologizes, he’ll take him back.  Punk is far better with Heyman than without him, and together, they’ll achieve heights greater than before.  Heyman says he still loves Punk.  He’s willing to put this behind them and Heyman will guide Punk to the WWE Championship and the main event of WrestleMania, and together they will be the best in the world.

Backstage, the Funkadactyls and the Bellas have an interaction – the Bellas wish them luck because they’re representing Total Divas.  Oh boy.

Still to come, Randy Orton’s WWE Championship coronation.  Oh boy.

It’ll never top this coronation.

The Funkadactyls head to the ring.  They’re apparently from Planet Funk now, even though they clearly live on Earth on Total Divas.  I wonder if Cameron’s fake boobs will fall out?  Their opponents can actually wrestle and aren’t featured on some shitty E! reality show – Layla and AJ.

AJ & Layla vs. The Funkadactyls

AJ and Layla attack The Funkadactyls before the bell rings, and dominate the early going.  I’d FFW – but much like WrasslorMonkey at WrestlingWithText, I’m an AJ mark.  In fact, she’s playing an awesome heel here – holding one of the Funkadactyls by the hair and taunting the other one – but when AJ tags in Layla, she gets rolled up and the Funkadactyls win.  Oh boy.

Dolph Ziggler’s walking backstage, he’s facing The Shield all by himself, next!

AJ’s got nothing on Homer.

Dolph Zigger vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, & Seth Rollins)

Why did they stop making Sobe bottles glass?  And when?  I stopped drinking it for a while and started up again recently.  That has nothing to do with this match, but I was thirsty and took a sip of my drink.  The Shield have to tag in and out here, and kick things off with United States Champion Dean Ambrose.  Hell, Ziggler puts up a hell of a fight until Roman Reigns gets tagged in.  That’s when the numbers game starts to get the better of him.  Ambrose takes Ziggler down in the opposite corner, and Reigns takes his time getting over to him off of the tag, which allows Ziggler time to recover.  He takes out all three members of The Shield, including the legal Reigns with a DDT, but the pin is broken up by Rollins.  Ziggler disposes Rollins, then charges at Reigns, only to be taken out with a spear.  Victory for The Shield.  After the match, they hit Ziggler with the triple powerbomb.

This cat must be looking at the horror that is the BWF SmackDown review.

Alberto Del Snore-o is on his way to the ring, and he’s still the World Heavyweight Champion.  Which, I guess, is the lesser of two evils.  His face looks better tonight too.  Barely.  He’s facing Sin Cara, who stole one of AJ Styles’ vest hoodies.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

No stupid Sin Cara lights in this one, but we do get miniature Mexican flags on the ringposts.  It’s always something.  Sin Cara apparently hurt his wrist, and Del Rio won’t let the doctor get to him, so the referee has to stop the match.  Afterward, Del Rio grabs the microphone, and says at SummerSlam he proved why he’s the best World Heavyweight Champion in history.  He proved to all the Latino community that finally they have someone to cheer for.  I don’t like where this is going.  He says he’ll do everything in his power to represent them.  Ricardo Rodriguez shows up on the ramp.  He says Del Rio is no hero.  Ricardo confesses that he’s very happy that he doesn’t have to represent Del Rio anymore.  In fact, he’s proud to represent somebody new.  Somebody that, unlike Del Rio, will stand for people.  He is Rob Van Dam!  That’s not who I was expecting!  Holy shit!  RVD goes after ADR, and Van Dam gets Del Rio set up for the 5-Star, but Del Rio bails.

Still to come, it’s CM Punk!

Weeeeeeeee!

The Real Americans are in the ring, and Zeb Colter says a good headline would be that Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger are real Americans.  They’re pure, unlike the people of Anaheim.  Colter complains about illegals at Disney Land.  Happiness to them is being on a plane out of California.  “We The People.”  Their opponents are The Prime Time Players, who are apparently faces now.  I wonder why?

The Prime Time Players (Darren Young & Titus O’Neil) vs. The Real Americans (Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro)

Well, this is our first time seeing Mr. No Days Off since his big announcement over the weekend.  Other than the fact that they’re playing the face role tonight, it doesn’t seem to have effected the PTPs at all – so far.  Real Americans get Titus trapped in their corner, so we haven’t really seen D-Young at this point.  Swagger hits the Vader Bomb, tags Cesaro, who leapfrogs Swagger to stomp on O’Neil.  Cool spot!  Titus finally gets the tag to Young, who takes out both Real Americans, scoring a two count on Cesaro before everything else breaks down, then Young hits the “Gut Check” on Cesaro.  Yes, that’s the name of his finisher.  And the PTPs win, with nary a mention of D-Young coming out last week.

Renee Young is with The Big Show.  She wants to know if he’s going to team up with with Mark Henry to face The Shield.  Show says it’s true.  Brad Maddox takes over.  He mentions that Big Show made some remarks about Triple H.  Big Show says it’s freedom of speech.  Maddox wants Show to express himself in a different way – in a handicap match against The Shield.  And all three members of The Shield are allowed to be in the ring at the same time.  Show asks if he’s sure he wants to do that to The Shield.

Titus O’Neil’s side job. Terry Crews lookalike. I know I said that last week, but it’s still funny, dammit!

Backstage, Zack Ryder gets some SSSIIICCCKKK sneakers from Foot Locker, who are giving away a trip to a WWE event and a gift card to foot locker.  Fandango and Summer Rae dance their way in.  The Foot Locker employee tries to give Fandango a pair of sneakers.  Fandango likes them, but asks if he can dance in them.  The Foot Locker guy approves.

We get SummerSlam highlights.

Backstage, Ryback is picking on a couple of local guys who are changing in the locker room.  He corners one of them in the shower.  I’m getting a real Heidenreich vibe from this.  Ryback makes the guy turn the water on and fill up his bag.

At least Ryback didn’t get THIS far with that random guy backstage… Yet.

The Big Show vs. The Shield

This isn’t fair, The Shield already wrestled tonight.  Show dominates the early going.  Reigns is taken out.  Rollins and Ambrose try to work together to take out Big Show, but it doesn’t quite work.  Show disposes of Rollins, so it’s down to Big Show vs. Ambrose.  Show calls for the chokeslam, but Rollins clips Show’s knee.  Rollins nails the knee from the top rope, and Ambrose only scores a two.  They try a double suplex, but Show reverses it, Reigns gets back in and nails the spear.  They hit Show with the triple powerbomb (as I pointed out last week, they’ve done it before), and pick up the victory.

Up next, it’s CM Punk!

WWE needs The Green Men. They can hang out with the clown, the sign guy, and the mark out dude.

CM Punk limps his way down to the ring after the brutal match he had last night with Brock Lesnar.  Punk doesn’t really know what to say right now, but he knows Heyman was out here earlier with a lot of personal things to say.  Punk turns his attention to a guy in the crowd – “Sir, you paid your ticket, you want to boo that’s fine, but I dare you to step in between these ropes, and you’ll never boo again, because I will render you a toothless, crying heap of a man.  I am pissed off and I wanna fight, so if you have the balls, I dare you, fatso, to step up and be a man, and fight CM Punk!  Come on, son, come on!  Come on!  I will render you to tears!  Be a man or shut your [expletive deleted] mouth!”  Heyman says he can get Punk the WWE title and the WrestleMania main event, and that’s what Punk wants.  If Paul wants an apology, if an apology gets him all those things, then he can come out and maybe he’ll get what he wants.  Heyman enters the arena with Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel in tow.  Punk says the doctor says he can’t compete, but he’s in his gear because it’s all he knows.  Punk says the truth is he’s sorry – sorry he took his eyes off of Lesnar for a split second to get revenge on Heyman, and he’s sorry that revenge wasn’t enough.  He’s sorry he didn’t take Heyman’s arm home with him.  He’s sorry he didn’t break Heyman’s face, and he’s sorry the next time he gets his hands on Heyman, he will take him out and take his arm home with him.  Punk will get his hands on Heyman, and he says let’s do it right now.  He tells Heyman to “have the guts that this fat guy over here doesn’t have.”  Heyman says an apology is due, but it’s from him.  Heyman says he’s sorry.  Sorry for what is about to happen to him.  He tells Axel to tape up his hands for a fight.  Punk has pushed Heyman too far one time too often.  He’s not the fat guy in the front row, he can be the worst nightmare Punk has ever encountered in his entire life, and Heyman says if Punk is still in the ring when we come back from commercial, Curtis Axel will be sent down to that ring by Paul Heyman, and he’ll finish the job that Brock Lesnar started at SummerSlam.

Come on, fatso, jump in the ring with your little coat and face CM Punk! (Tommy Boy is an awesomely funny movie, BTW)

Punk is sitting in a chair in the ring, awaiting Curtis Axel, who is here with his fists taped up.  Punk attacks as soon as Axel gets in the ring and wastes no time in using the chair to assault Axel.  This isn’t a match, BTW, it’s a fight.  Axel chops Punk, who no-sells it.  Axel gains the upper hand, and Heyman meanders closer to the ring.  Punk dumps Axel over the guardrail, and stalks Heyman.  Axel starts to get up, but Punk sees him stirring and nails him with anything not nailed down at ringside.  Punk goes for a GTS, but Axel wiggles out and chops out the bad leg.  The bad leg “that hit the announce table” at SummerSlam.  I loved that.  They showed the replay, his legs were nowhere near the table.  Axel goes after Punk’s knee with the chair as Paul Heyman wanders back down to ringside.  Axel nails his finisher on Punk, and tries to Pillmanize Punk, but Punk moves out of the way.  A one legged Punk turns the tide and starts assaulting Axel with the chair, as Heyman wanders back up the aisle.  Punk tosses Axel into the steel steps, then drops him with a GTS – face first into the steps.  Punk glares at Heyman, but Heyman retreats.

Finally, a Fred The Fish reference on BWF!

Ugh.  Why is R-Truth rapping still a thing?  You’ll remember a few weeks ago that The Wyatt Family assaulted R-Truth, so that’s why we’ve got Bray Wyatt’s RAW debut, facing R-Truth.

“We’re Here”

Bray Wyatt (w/ Luke Harper & Erick Rowan) vs. R-Truth

Bray Wyatt beat Kane last night.  You really think he’s jobbing to R-Truth.  The Family get involved, distracting Truth.  A splash in the corner, followed by Sister Abigail, and this one is over.

Follow The Buzzards.

There’s a promo for bullfighting, for some reason.  Is El Matador coming back?  It’s two masked dudes, called, get this, Los Matadores.  I hear they’re played by Primo & Epico.  Because that worked out SO well for Tito Santana.  Speaking of horrible gimmicks, The Usos are here to take on 3MB.  I mean the Usos gimmick, not the 3MB gimmick – that’s just awesome.

The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) vs. 3MB (Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater w/ Drew McIntyre)

So, they’re pushing the tag team division like they have one again.  I mean, Los Matadores need to feud with someone, right?  They mention that The Miz is facing Wade Barrett after this.  Fuck this.  FFW!  The Usos win.  Surprise.

It’s been done.

Last night at SummerSlam, The Miz hit Fandango for no reason.  And now he expects me to watch him wrestle.  Nope.

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

FFW!  Miz locks in the Miz-Can’t-Figure-It-Out-Four, but he gets legdropped by an incoming Fandango.  Fandango & Summer Rae dance over the fallen corpse of The Miz.

Brad Maddox is walking backstage when he runs into Stephanie McMahon and informs her that Daniel Bryan is back in the building.  She says good and thanks him for the update before walking into Mr. McMahon’s office.

I think I might be IN this GIF.

Triple H has all of the Superstars out on the ramp, and have The Shield working security at the end of the aisle.  Stephanie and Vince McMahon welcome The Game to the ring.  Vince says it’s a momentous occasion.  The coronation of a champion we can all be proud of.  Vince says Triple H did the right thing.  He saw the light.  They embrace.  Triple H says it always makes him laugh how short sighted the WWE fans are, how they can never see the bigger picture.  He did what he did last night to ensure the future of the WWE.  Triple H didn’t want to do that to Daniel Bryan, he considers him a friend and likes what he does in the ring.  He deserved to win last night, but face of the WWE?  The fans deserve better than that.  You deserve A+.  And that’s what he gave us last night.  Bryan has a personal problem with that?  That’s a sacrifice Triple H is willing to make.  Triple H didn’t like doing what he did to Bryan, or doing it with Orton, but he did it for the fans.  This reeeaaaallllyyyyy drags on.  Eventually, Triple H brings out Randall Keith Orton. Stephanie hugs Orton.  Orton says “I told you so.”  Orton says he owes all of this to Triple H.  Orton asks the fans to give Triple H a standing ovation.  Triple H says he knows Bryan is in the building, and invites him down to discuss his personal issue.  He asks The Shield to move to the side so Bryan won’t be scared to come to the ring, and anybody on the stage touches Bryan, there will be problems.  Triple H gets the crowd to chant yes, has his music play, and Bryan eventually comes out, but he’s attacked by The Shield as he tries to get in the ring – and he nearly takes them out in an effort to get at Orton – and he eventually does!  Bryan heads back toward the ring, but catches a spear from Roman Reigns, and the Hounds of Justice assault Bryan.  They go for the Triple Powerbomb on the floor, but Triple H stops them and once again invites Bryan to come say what he’s got to say.  Bryan finally manages to get back in the ring but catches an RKO from Orton.  The McMahons raise the hand of the WWE Champion as RAW goes off the air.

Thoughts:  Fuck, man.  I hated that last segment.  Alas, that’s the point.  You’re supposed to root for the face and hate the heels, and right now that’s true for most people.  The money is in the chase – will we buy Night of Champions to see if Bryan can get the title back?  Fuck yeah we will.  Will Jorge be angry at the outcome for a third straight PPV?  It’s quite possible.  Only time will tell.  And I love it because I hate it.  See you Sunday at 2!

Follow The Buzzards.

The post WWE RAW 8/19/13: I hear voices. They’re telling me to change the channel. appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Does that mean when Triple H comes out in the WrestleMania 21 arena, Lemmy will forget the words to his theme music?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25OLvFonj8[/youtube]

I mean.. at least he somewhat remembered the words four years earlier at WrestleMania X-Seven..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_0pTuYCJD0[/youtube]

Cue The Intro..

The latest installment of the WWE game franchise, and the first to be made by 2K Sports, had the major part of it’s roster announced at SummerSlam Axxess: The following people were the latest to be announced to be playable on WWE 2K14, available October 29 in North America:

Alberto Del Rio, Batista, Big Show, Big Show (Retro), Bret Hart, Brock Lesnar, Brock Lesnar (Retro), Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho (Retro), CM Punk, Diesel, Edge, Goldberg, John Cena (Retro), Kane (Retro), King Kong Bundy, Mick Foley, Randy Orton, Razor Ramon, Ric Flair, Ric Flair (Retro), Ricky Steamboat, Sgt. Slaughter, Shawn Michaels (Retro), ‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase, The Miz, Triple H, Triple H (Retro), Ultimate Warrior, Undertaker (Retro), and Yokozuna.

All of the previous will be playable in the ’30 Years of WrestleMania’ game mode. They will join those already announced:

Andre The Giant, Daniel Bryan, Darren Young, Dolph Ziggler, Hulk Hogan, ‘Hollywood’ Hulk Hogan, JBL, John Cena, ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage, Rey Mysterio, The Rock, The Rock (Retro), Ryback, Shawn Michaels, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin, Ultimate Warrior, Undertaker and ‘American Bad Ass’ Undertaker as playable characters on the game.

Now, some that were already announced, will also be playable in the 30 Years of WrestleMania mode, leaving people to work out, just which WrestleMania matches have made the cut, and be playable in the game mode. Already shown are pictures from Hogan/Andre from WrestleMania III, Hogan/Rock from WrestleMania X-8 and Rock/Cena from one of the last two WrestleManias.. I dunno which, I stopped watching when Shawn Michaels left for the last time.

Bruno Sammartino has also been ‘confirmed’ but not officially announced, as well as ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper being rumoured to be on the game. Also rumoured thanks to the WWE 2K14 cover art contest include: AJ Lee, Antonio Cesaro, Brie Bella, Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, David Otunga, Heath Slater, Jack Swagger, Jinder Mahal, Justin Gabriel, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Layla, Mark Henry, Natalya, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Sheamus, Tensai, the Great Khali, Wade Barrett and Zack Ryder.

WWE 2K14 comes out October 29th in North America and Internationally November 1st yada yada yada.

But life isn’t all about video games and fantasy, because sometimes that bitch known as real-life just has to take over. This week, WWE Superstar Darren Young, announced to the world of all places, that he is a gay. A homosexual if you will. Now, everyone that is anyone, congratulated, and applauded this like he just landed on the moon, whilst singing the greatest song known to man, whilst marrying the Queen and becoming President of the United States all at the same time. My question to you is, the viewing public.. why is this news? Why are we meant to care so damn much about someone’s sexuality? I don’t mean that in a bad way, but it seems that being gay is some kind of achievement, when in fact, it shouldn’t be. In all honesty, and this blogger’s opinion, it should be just part of everyday life. Is it really that big of a celebration that one male has said he enjoys the company of other males in a sexual manner?

Who cares if Darren Young is openly gay? So what? Why would anyone look at him differently because of it? Why does he suddenly need to be applauded and congratulated and handed medals and paraded around the city just because he announced this, when if he hadn’t of said anything, everyone would still be oblivious to the fact. Society is a mess, no.. it’s completely destroyed. It shouldn’t matter if someone is gay, black, hispanic or asian (Although someone who was all four.. imagine), it SHOULD be how the person acts/behaves/etc., but sadly, in this society.. if you are different than causcian and straight.. you’re treated with either respect and applauded, or disgust and rejected.

Also, I wonder if Chris Kanyon would’ve gotten the same reaction if he announced he was gay during his WWE tenure. His sexuality preferences unfortunately played a part in Kanyon losing his life, and now we applaud because someone is gay? Double standards much..

The post The War On.. 2K, Not Two Thousand And Why Society These Days Is Completely Destroyed appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Texas Wrestling Hall of Fame founder David Fuller and inductees James Beard and Black Bart join us via the phone lines to pay tribute to their fallen friend, “Maniac” Matt Borne.  Doc Knight of Original Stampede Wrestling drops in to say a few words as well.  The BWF Radio crew sit quietly at the learning tree as these legends of professional wrestling talk about the business and share Matt Borne stories.  Joe gives a recap of Traditional Championship Wrestling’s television show, Jorge gushes over the imminent arrival of the Wyatt Family, and the crew give a rare rave review to this week’s episode of IMPACT Wrestling.  In the news, find out who no longer is employed by TNA, hear why Daniel Bryan didn’t get in any trouble over yelling at Triple H, and why the Blackhawks may have gotten CM Punk in a bit of trouble with WWE management.  Plus, an update on the ROH World Title situation.  All this and much more on this week’s episode of BoredWrestlingFan Radio!  Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio episode 81 (MP3, 2:07:39)

This week’s break song was Naïveté in Black by Black Sabbath.  Apparently, you can only buy this track at Best Buy.

The post BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 81 – Matt Borne Tribute appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, avoid spoilers like (and from) the plague, and then watch the entire show when I get here.  That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.  Also, I play by my own rules.  Screw you, SmackDown review!

First 30 quick recap:  We recap the McMahon family saga to kick things off, and we’re set to go with Triple H vs. Curtis Axel!  Vince McMahon stops the match and awards it to Axel via disqualification.  Triple H restarts the match.  McMahon stops it and awards it to Axel via forfeit.  Triple H restarts it as a 60 minute iron man match.  McMahon orders Axel and Paul Heyman to leave, then takes Justin Roberts’ microphone and Mark Yeaton’s bell.  Stephanie then pleads with Triple H backstage not to beat the crap out of Vince.  Then we’re set for singles action as the WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose takes on Kane…

Dean Ambrose vs. Kane

Ambrose is not joined by the other members of The Shield, nor is Kane joined by Bryan or Orton.  Though, if you watch the WWE App, you can watch Bryan and Orton watch this match.  Doesn’t that sound like fun, kids?!?  Kane starts rolling, but Ambrose avoids a chokeslam.  Kane is assaulted by Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, but is rescued by Bryan and Orton.  Kane apparently wins by DQ.

Michael Cole tells us to watch the Payback kickoff, which will feature Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow this Sunday.

You can vote now on whether Daniel Bryan faces Seth Rollins or Roman Reigns.  The loser will face Orton.  Get on your WWE App right now and vote!

Vote Kodos!

I voted for Kodos.  Who did everybody else vote for?  Seth Rollins.  66% vs. 34% for Reigns.  The matches happen later.  If I had to pick one, I’d have voted for Rollins too.  That should be awesome.

Last Friday on SmackDown, Daniel Bryan dropkicked Randy Orton, and then caught an RKO.  Backstage, Bryan and Orton are arguing.  Kane says it’s not a fight Bryan wants to pick.  Both of them are facing members of The Shield tonight, so the last thing they need to do is to be ordering… fish… meals.  Vickie Guerrero has made it official.  Bryan and Orton are facing Rollins and Reigns for the WWE Tag Team Championship, much to Kane’s chagrin.  Vickie is giving him a US Title match against Dean Ambrose.  Kane says he always did like Vickie, and gives her a big hug.

Oh great.  It’s The Miz.  Breaking news when we come back as pertains to the Intercontinental Championship match this Sunday at Payback.

18 year old Miz made this happen, dammit!

Wade Barrett is on commentary, and we found out that Fandango suffered a concussion, and therefore he won’t be in the Intercontinental Championship match this Sunday.  So, once again, it’ll be The Miz vs. Wade Barrett for the title.

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Do I really have to cover this?  We know who’s going to win.  For some ungodly reason, Miz gets pushed while Cody gets jobbed out.  FFW.  Miz-Can’t-Figure-It-Out-For-The-Life-Of-Him for the victory.  Barrett goes to attack, but he’s interrupted by… Paul Heyman?

Vickie Guerrero authorized him to inform them that even though Fandango cannot compete this Sunday, there will be a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Championship.  The other challenger will be the man who has beaten Jericho, Cena, and Triple H, Curtis Axel!  Axel says that the perfect ending to the match this Sunday will be Curtis Axel the new Intercontinental Champion.

Next week on RAW, we could be returning to the Hall of Pain, because Mark Henry is apparently coming back.

We’ll hear from Chris Jericho, NEXT!

This was tweeted yesterday…

Short Attention Span theater:  Vince McMahon stole the bell so Triple H couldn’t restart his match.

Stephanie is trying to get Vince’s attention.  Vince doesn’t care.  Vince says Triple H made Stephanie cry.  She says Vince made her cry.  They both care about WWE, and business comes first.  Vince says that she should keep Triple H away from him.  She asks if Vince will talk to him.  Vince reiterates Triple H’s comments that he wouldn’t like what he says or the way he says it.  Now if you’ll excuse him, he has a show to run into the ground.

Jericho finally finds the entrance and makes his way to the ring.  Last Friday on SmackDown Jericho got distracted by CM Punk’s music, allowing Curtis Axel to pin him.  Jericho says his best opponent is CM Punk.  Jericho wants Punk’s best, and either way neither one of them will EVER be the same again.  Then he’s interrupted by the World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler.  He almost had his title taken from him due to a concussion, but he earned it.  At Payback, he’ll prove that Del Rio is outclassed by Ziggler in every possible way.  Jericho says Sunday is a long way away, since it’s Monday.  Jericho offers him a tune-up match to shake off a little ring rust.  Ziggler says if Jericho wants a match, he’s got it – against Big E Langston.

Consecutive appearances by Kodos in BWF RAW reviews: 4. Consecutive appearances by Fresh Prince characters: 2.

Chris Jericho vs. Big E Langston

The match is on when we get back.  It started on the app, where Jericho hurt his knee.  That app is dangerous!  Screw this, I found a superball.  It bounces really high!  Weeeee!  Langston goes for the Big Ending, but Del Rio attacks Ziggler from behind, distracting Big E, and Jericho nails the Codebreaker for the victory.

Am I really only halfway through this show?  I really don’t feel like sitting here any longer.  Especially now that they’re shilling their magazine app that doesn’t work on Android.  And then I’m reminded that Bryan will face Rollins.

Bryan vs. Rollins. A reason to keep watching!

And a reason to tune out – Sin Cara is in the ring.  Zeb Colter is on commentary.  Antonio Cesaro is on his way to the ring, so once again I have reason to stay tuned.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Sin Cara

Cesaro isn’t wearing his leg wraps.  Colter insists that Sin Cara snuck across the border wearing his mask.  Whereas Cesaro came here legally.  Colter says WWE Management is to blame for Swagger’s injury.  Then he rants about T-Mobile.  I’m not making this up.  Sin Cara hits a sick looking sunset flip powerbomb.  Cesaro takes control, and a Neutralizer puts Sin Cara down for the count.

WYATT FAMILY VIGNETTE!  Seems like the same one from last week.

Later tonight, Ryback and Cena go face to face.

Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox are eating Hardees and chatting with Vince McMahon.  McMahon doesn’t want the Ryback/Cena face to face thing to happen, but since it’s advertised it has to happen.  Maddox suggests having the lumberjacks out there to keep them apart.  McMahon says it’s a good idea, and for Vickie to share her burger with Maddox.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton comes out first, and then Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring, doing his old “YES” gimmick.  Reigns is flanked by Rollins, so the odds are even to kick things off.  FFW!  Orton hits the elevated DDT, but as Orton sets up for the RKO, Rollins attacks Bryan and then goes after Orton.  Orton goes for an elevated DDT on Rollins, who escapes with Reigns’ help, and Bryan hits a suicide dive on both of them.  The bell rings, and the match is ruled a no contest.  Orton and Reigns get out of the ring and…

Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins

This should be awesome.  So, fuck you, review, I’m sitting back and watching this shit while vomiting rainbows.  Wow!  What a match this one was!  Counter after counter, hold after hold, and Bryan finally scores the win with a rollup.  Awesome match!  Afterward, Orton drops Rollins with an RKO.

Short attention span theater:  FFW!

Up next, we find out who Kaitlyn’s secret admirer is – and despite the Simpsons references in recent articles, it’s not me.

I dedicate this ad break image to my wife.

Special Olympics video.  FFW.

Kaitlyn is in the ring, and she invites her secret admirer to show himself.  This is a PG show, Kaitlyn.  Big E Langston’s music hits, and he comes out with a bouquet of flowers.  Kaitlyn looks skeptical.  What’s to worry about, the guy who reveals himself as your secret admirer is the bodyguard of the girl who wants to steal your title.  He gives her the flowers and takes the mic.  He says he knows it’s unexpected, and it’s hard for him, especially after what happened earlier.  People only see him as a big bad tough guy, but honestly he cares about more than that.  He cares about Kaitlyn.  He says she’s all he can think of.  He embraces her, leans in to kiss her, and tosses her to the canvas.  AJ’s music hits, and the number one contender for the Diva’s Championship makes her way to the ring.  She asks Kaitlyn how she’s feeling.  Worthless?  Alone?  Broken?  That’s how AJ felt when Kaitlyn abandoned her.  She’s let men hurt her for the last year of her life, and where was her best friend?  Chasing the Diva’s Title.  Shattered glass can cut you pretty deep if you handle it wrong.  Kaitlyn says AJ is crazy.  AJ says she’s smart.  Maybe Kaitlyn can beat her in the ring, but AJ can beat her mentally.  AJ says Kaitlyn is trash and has no one.  The only thing she has worth anything is the Divas title, and she won’t even have that come Sunday.  Kaitlyn finally has enough and assaults AJ.  You can read these words here, but AJ was great in this promo, it’s worth checking out for yourself.

Yes, but we’ll never forget your crazy gimmick, Mickie!

WYATT FAMILY VIGNETTE!!!  A NEW ONE!!!  Can’t wait for Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan to debut on RAW!  Might make this show watchable for more than the 20 minutes Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins are on.

Damien Sandow is out for this next match, which is brought to us by Hardees.  Damien Sandow has been winning a battle of wits with Sheamus, and this Sunday he will prove he is Sheamus’ physical superior as well, by annihilating him the same way he’ll annihilate his opponent tonight.  His opponent is R-Truth.  Where the hell has this dude been?  And why do they keep giving the dude that had the heart attack the greasy fried food?!?

Damien Sandow vs. R-Truth

Well, the longer this goes, the shorter the Cena/Ryback thing will be.  On the other hand, Sandow needs a win here, so a quick one might regain him some credibility.  Sandow hits The Silencer to pick up the win.

Sheamus makes his way out to congratulate Sandow on his victory, but more importantly, he came out because Sandow got his attention on SmackDown.  He threatens to kick Sandow’s head off at the Payback Kickoff.

Stephanie McMahon sends somebody to find Vince for her because she wants to talk business with him in their office.  She tells another guy to find Triple H about personal business in their office.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REojIUxX4rw[/youtube]

Kofi Kingston will be out up to 8 weeks, thanks to Ryback.  Who’s highlight package I’m not sitting through.  FFW.

The Lumberjacks for Sunday’s three stages of hell match are out to keep the peace between Cena and Ryback.  There’s a ton of them.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vI0UcUxzrQ[/youtube]

Vince McMahon and Triple H are arguing when we get back.  Stephanie yells at them to work it out.  Vince tells Trips to do the right thing, and that he’s bigger than a match with Curtis Axel.  Vince says that just to show he’s the bigger man, he’s giving Triple H the match with Curtis Axel next week.  Triple H says that Vince is right, he doesn’t want the match with Curtis Axel.  Vince says he’d like to see the match.  Triple H says he doesn’t want the match.  Stephanie suggests a group hug.  They reluctantly agree.  Where’s Dr. Shelby when we need him?

Back in the ring – you know, that place where this show is supposed to take place – The Lumberjacks have surrounded the ring and John Cena makes his way out for his face to face with Ryback.  Ryback, of course, comes out in the Ambulance as he has since  the RAW after Extreme Rules.  Ryback stops in the aisle and backs up.  Cena questions Ryback’s understanding of the concept of face-to-face.  This is boring.  Ryback complains about getting screwed out of the WWE title three times.  Cena babbles back about the Champ being here.  Cena says Payback’s a bitch and tries to go after Ryback, but the Lumberjacks keep him in the ring.  Ryback charges down, but Cena tosses him out.  The Lumberjacks get in the ring and pull them apart as best they can, but it’s not good enough.  They seem to finally have the peace when RAW goes off the air.

Thoughts:  Three hours is FAR TOO LONG for this show.  I’m done.  Good night.  Slam Jam uploaded tomorrow, Derrick Bateman interview uploads Wednesday!

The post WWE RAW 6/10/13 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, avoid spoilers like (and from) the plague, and then watch the entire show when I get here.  That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.  Also, I play by my own rules.  Screw you, SmackDown review!

First 30 quick recap:  Since I watched the first half hour at home, I’ll tell you the gist of what happened.  It’s announced that Triple H is cleared to wrestle and gets a rematch with Curtis Axel.  This brings out Stephanie McMahon who says that she’s made an executive decision that Triple H can’t wrestle tonight.  The crowd boos, which draws out Vince McMahon, who tells us not to boo Stephanie, and that he agrees that Triple H shouldn’t wrestle.  He also says WWE isn’t a bloodsport, which draws boos as well.  The Shield come down, and after a break, we find out that Vince and Stephanie left without incident, and that we’re opening with a six man tag.

The Shield vs. Randy Orton and Team Hell No

Fuck.  I actually have to tune in because this match was still going on when I left.  Let’s see here, Daniel Bryan with the no lock on Ambrose, broken up by the Shield, Kane gets speared by Roman Reigns, Orton RKOs Seth Rollins, but gets shoved into Bryan by Reigns, sending Orton out of the ring and Bryan to get hit with Dean Ambrose’s finisher.  Shield win.  According to the replay, Bryan was all over The Shield in this one.  He seems upset with himself that he took the pinfall.

Oh.  You have got to be fucking kidding me.  Later tonight it’s Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E Langston. Plus, a contract signing for the Jericho/Punk match at Payback.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Bryan is complaining to Orton backstage.  Orton says to drop it.  Bryan complains to Kane that it wasn’t a good apology.  Bryan thinks it’s because Orton thinks he’s the weak link.  Bryan says they don’t respect him.  Kane says he’s lost touch with reality.  Bryan says the reality is that he’s the weak link.  He says one match could have earned him everybody’s respect, and that didn’t happen.  He says he’ll find another way to do it.  He’s going to have another match and beat the respect out of somebody else.

Triple H walks in the door and asks where Vince’s office is.  He barges in, and says he’s wrestling tonight.  Stephanie says he’s not.  This goes back and forth for a while.  Vince says Axel is good and for Triple H to keep his ego out of it.  Triple H says he’s going out and wrestling Curtis Axel.  Vince says he’s not.  H-cube asks who’s going to stop him.  Vince tells him not to do anything he’s going to regret and hands him some papers.  No, Jack Swagger, not those kind of papers.

Holy shit, the Usos still work here?  Apparently they do, and they wear face paint now.  Michael Cole will explain.  Next.

I wonder if they used one of these. I used it to paint my face like Ultimate Warrior one Halloween.

The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players.

FFW!  Actually, I want to hear about the face paint.  Except Cole is yapping about Triple H instead.  Apparently they said on the app that it “gives them an edge.”  Sure it does.  Nothing about the Usos intimidates me.  Especially not blue and yellow makeup.  Now FFW.  The Usos win with the Superfly Splash.

Up next, it’s Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E Langston.

Reruns of Rerun, so What’s Happening?

Athletes from the Special Olympics are in the front row, as part of WWE’s partnership with the Special Olympics.

Ricardo Rodriguez announces the arrival of Albertooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Del Rioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  Big E Langston claps his powder and we re-live SmackDown where Big E defeats Del Rio for the second time in two weeks.  Del Rio has two wins over Langston over the past two weeks too.  Which means this is the FIFTH TIME IN TWO WEEKS we’re seeing this match.

Alberto Del Rio (w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Big E Langston (w/ AJ Lee)

FFW!  Zeb Colter is babbling about something on the app.  You have the app, don’t you?  Get the app.  Del Rio can’t keep Langston locked in the cross armbreaker, so he hooks his leg and pins him instead.  Except you can’t tell if Langston’s shoulders were down.  He doesn’t seem to think so.

Sheamus is walking.  He’s facing Cody Rhodes next.

Thanks,Heelbook.

Last Friday, Damien Sandow outsmarted Sheamus again.  And then ate a Brogue Kick, because Sheamus is a STAR.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

FFW!  Damien Sandow is on commentary, but as much as I love the guy, I’d rather not sit here until 5AM.  Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick.

Sheamus asks Sandow for a handshake.  Sandow refuses so Sheamus punches him.  Because he’s a STAR.

Still to come, Punk/Jericho contract signing.

Also courtesy of Heelbook.

Triple H is still arguing with Stephanie.  He says he’s leaving, so that he doesn’t have to beat his kids’ grandfather’s ass on live TV.  He says next Monday he’ll be wrestling Curtis Axel when we go on the air.

Ryback destroyed Kofi Kingston on Friday.  FFW!

Daniel Bryan is storming through the backstage area, where he runs into Ryback.  Ryback tells him to watch what he’s doing.  He says his throwup is bigger than Bryan.  Bryan says he’s not afraid of Ryback.  Ryback challenges him to a match.  Bryan says to underestimate him and see what happens.  Ryback calls him the weak link, and says he’ll be the missing link after their match tonight.

Paul Heyman is backstage with Curtis Axel and Vince McMahon.  McMahon puts over Axel, but says we’re not going to see the match with Triple H.  Paul says he’ll see Vince Friday on SmackDown.  Vince stops him and says that Axel will face John Cena tonight in a No DQ match.

Fandango and Summer Rae are walking backstage, they’re up NEXT!

So D-Bry is going to paint his face up like this and be managed by Bobby “The Brain” Heenan when Ryback gets through with him? I’m ok with that!

Oh god.  MizTV with Orton and Team Hell No on SmackDown.  Great.

Da-da, da-da-da-da-dadadadada.  Fandango!  Last week, Fandango beat Barrett and Summer Rae beat Fandango, all thanks to The Miz.  All of the little flare things come on this time.  Last month, Fandango had a dance off with The Great Khali.  Guess what match we’re getting…

Fandango (w/ Summer Rae) vs. The Great Khali (w/ Natalya & Hornswoggle)

FFW!  I fast forwarded too far and was in the next match.  RW!  Miz tries to stop Fandango from walking out on the match, but eats a Bull Hammer from Wade Barrett.  Apparently the match is over.

Fandangoing. Started April 8, 2013 in East Rutherford, NJ. I was there.

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Seen it.  In fact, I seen it live two nights in a row.  FFW!  Fandango and Summer Rae come back to the stage and dance, distracting Barrett, who gets caught in the Miz-can’t-FIGURE-it-out-FOR-the-life-of-him and taps out.

Still to come, Daniel Bryan vs. Ryback, but up next it’s the Punk/Jericho contract signing.

This show so far. Also, a former place of employment of mine.

Earlier tonight, blah blah blah blah blah.  FFW.

Contract signing.  These always end well.  Jericho comes out first, representing himself.  Paul Heyman comes out as the representative of CM Punk.  Both have seen the contracts, all they have to do is sign.  Heyman says they could’ve just signed it in the back, but he’d like to tell Jericho that when he shows up in Chicago to face CM Punk – but Jericho interrupts him. Heyman says that Jericho will be stepping in to a biased crowd that will be clearly behind Punk.  Jericho suggests moving the match to SummerSlam in Los Angeles.  Heyman says no.  MSG?  No.  Here in Hartford?  No.  Jericho says he guesses we’ll have to have it in Chicago.  Jericho knows that wherever you are, if you act like a jackass, you get treated like one.  Then he ponders where to file the contract.  He says he has an idea.  He steps around the table and demands that Heyman stands up.  Because much like Sheamus, Jericho is a STAR.  He demands Paul unbutton his jacket.  He knows right where the contract needs to be filed – then he stuffs it down Heyman’s pants.  WTF was the point of that?

D-Bry vs. Ryback still to come, as is John Cena vs. Curtis Axel.

Why did Jericho stuff the contract down Heyman’s pants? How does that make any sense???

Wednesday, Sheamus face Antonio Cesaro.  Hey JT, wanna switch shows with me?

“This is a six Diva tag team match…”  Fuck you, I’m out.

The Bellas & AJ Lee vs. The Funkadactyls & Kaitlyn

No.  FFW.  Kaitlyn won.  AJ refuses to tag in and Kaitlyn spears and pins one of the Bellas.  Don’t know which.  Don’t care which.

Still to come, D-Bry vs. Ryback.

This is the entirety of that last Divas match.

Hollywood Undead did the theme song for Payback.  Good for them.  Daniel Bryan bumps in to Kane, who tells him he shouldn’t face Ryback tonight.  Because wrestlers shouldn’t wrestle.  That’s the theme of tonight’s show.  Kane tells Bryan he doesn’t have anything to prove.  Bryan says he’s wrong.  He tells Kane to stay away from him tonight.  Kane says he’s out of here and for Bryan to call him when he finds his mind.

Michael Cole talks about the Wyatt Family video from last week, and we get another one!!!!!  WYATT FAMILY IS COMING!

Daniel Bryan!  They always follow up the Wyatt Family videos with things I actually want to watch.  Like Rhodes Scholars last week, and Daniel Bryan tonight.  He’s in action NEXT!

This awesomeness is coming to RAW! (image borrowed from Civil Disguise on Tumblr.

3:30 in the morning.  Not a soul in sight.  The city’s looking like a ghost town on a moonless summer night.  And I still have 30 minutes of RAW to get through.  Fun.

Scott Steiner’s music hits.  Ok, not really.  It’s Ryback coming into the arena in the ambulance again.  BotchedSpot has a comic about that.  I’ll post it at the next ad break.

Ryback vs. Daniel Bryan

FFW because it’s late.  Bryan has Ryback down and dives across the ring with the flying goat-butt, but Ryback kicks out at two.  Ryback blocks a kick and reverses it into a powerbomb.  He goes for another one but Bryan locks in the No Lock.  Ryback manages to crawl to the ropes.  He falls to the floor, and Bryan goes for the suicide dive but Ryback bats him away into the announce table.  He rams Bryan into the post, spine first, a few times, then grabs a table.  He sets it up in the middle of the ring, and powerbombs Bryan through it, causing a disqualification victory for Bryan.

After the match, Ryback pulls another table out from under the ring and sets it up against the guardrail on the outside.  He heads back toward the ring, but Cena comes to Bryan’s rescue.  Ryback hops up on the apron, but before he can get in the ring, Curtis Axel comes out for his match with Cena.

We miss your regular updates, Botched Spot

Curtis Axel (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. John Cena – No Disqualification Match

This is in progress when we come back, and Heyman trips Cena, which is legal.  Cena blocks a chairshot and delivers one of his own.  The match spills to the floor, where Cena tosses Axel over the announce table.  The referee counts, because count-outs apparently count in no-disqualification matches.  You can hit your opponent with anything you want, as long as you do it inside the ring, apparently.  Cena avoids another chair shot.   And another one.  It’s a game of cat and mouse.  Axel is the cat, and Cena is the sadistic mouse who torments him endlessly.  I get up to close the window, and Axel is in control when I come back.  By this point I’m thinking about food.  Food starts with F.  So does FFW.  So that’s what I do.  Cena sets up for an AA through the table Ryback set up earlier, but Heyman stops him.  Ryback attacks Cena from behind and spears him through said table.  Axel gets back in the ring and Cena gets counted out again.  Another wacky victory by Curtis Axel!

Ryback tells Cena to get up, and then says that at Payback, Ryback Rules.

Thoughts:  I hope my computer restarts after this update.  The end.  Actually not much to talk about here.  The Triple H storyline we all knew was coming started tonight.  The Wyatt Family vignette was once again the highlight of the show, and nothing really much else to talk about.  BWF Anniversary celebration, this Sunday at 2PM Eastern on Ustream!

Because it’s the rules, fuckers!

The post RAW is APP, 6/3/13 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

This is the last RAW before Wrestle-Mania this weekend, and WWE’s last chance to sell us on the Big Show. (Not the one in the six-man, although technically…) No, I mean the ENTIRE EVENT!  Will they convince us to shell out $60-70 bucks in our respective areas this year?

Personally, I doubt it.

From WWE.com;  “The Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, WWE Champion The Rock, John Cena, Triple H and CM Punk will all be at tonight’s Raw in Washington. What will unfold with Wrestle-Mania just days away?”

We’re getting a rundown of what to expect at Mania and what to look forward to tonight.  Shawn Michaels will be here tonight for Triple H.  John Cena responds to the Rock’s shot last week. Punk, Taker, Lesnar and… more stuff.

Cena’s out first and this is NOT a Cena crowd, here in DC.  Jerry Lawler doesn’t even bother selling it as a “mixed” reaction.  Lawler has Michael Cole and JBL with him at ringside.

“I stand in the middle of a house divided.” – John Cena

Rytman Remark: No you don’t John.  They hate you.

John refers to everyone here tonight as “Cena-crats” and “Rock-publicans.” He gives Rock credit for conquering everything in his path and even goes so far as to call him the greatest WWE champion of all time.  He talks about the pain of his loss last year and how the Rock will lose his custom-made WWE  title in his first defense (of that specific belt.) He will happily keep the new belt just so the Rock will have to live with knowing every time someone brings up WWE, he’ll have to live with knowing someone else is defending that belt every night.

Cole asks us who we think will win Rock/Cena 2 and invites us all to “Tout” about it on line.  He talks Jerry into posting a “Tout” about who he thinks will win Rock/Cena 2.  Lawler goes with history and chooses Rock.

3MB is in the ring as Randy Orton, Sheamus, and the Big Show make their entrances.  We get a look at last week’s Smackdown where they were able to fight off an attack by the Shield.

RANDY ORTON/SHEAMUS/BIG SHOW VS. 3MB (HEATH SLATER/JINDER MAHAL/DREW MCINTYRE)

Match starts with the faces bouncing around Slater.  McIntyre tags in and takes over with a missile drop-kick.  Sheamus gets triple-teamed for a few moments but the match ends just the way you expected.  RKO, Brogue-Kick, and Big K.O. on Mahal for the three-count.

After the match, the Shield comes out, cutting a promo from the crowd.  The Shield congratulates our three heroes on their huge win, and convincing themselves they’re a team.  But the Shield knows the truth; they are phonies and at Mania, everyone will believe in the Shield.

We come back to the announcement of Zeb Coulter getting in the ring tonight against World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio.  We go to Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger cutting a promo in front of our Nation’s Capital.  Our country is broken because we all are weak. If we don’t like Swagger as World Heavyweight Champion, then we don’t deserve to be Americans.

Current WHC Alberto Del Rio responds in an interview segment.  One of the great things about America is freedom of speech, and if Del Rio doesn’t like what Zeb says, he can do something about it.  He will tonight, in the ring.

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN (W/KANE) VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/AJ & BIG E.)

This is a fast-paced back/forth with Ziggler on the defensive.  AJ skips around Kane, setting him up for a charge from Big E.  Bryan takes the E down with a flying kick to the head and Ziggler gets the three-count on Bryan w/a handfull of tights.  Big E. nails Bryan and Kane tries to make the save.  Big E. powers out of the choke-slam and lays out Kane with his drop across the shoulder.

Back from break, we get  a look back at last August when Brock Lesnar took out Shawn Michaels.

Mr. Wrestle-Mania, HOFamer, and the Heart-Break Kid, SHAWN MICHAELS is here.  He hits the ring as we get a look back at the Lesnar/Triple H feud of last year, with Lesnar breaking Trip’s arm in April, and winning their match at Summer-Slam.

“You didn’t think we’d have Wrestle-Mania without MR. Wrestle-Mania did you?” – Shawn Michaels

Shawn is out here to talk about Mania.  He runs down the card, bringing our attention to one particular match, because he and his arm are part of the history in that match.  Triple H comes out to reassure Shawn he knows what he’s doing, and he understands that Shawn was in the same spot Trips was in when Shawn retired.  Shawn says their perdicaments couldn’t be more different.  When Shawn lost his career-match, his opponent was just as heartbroken as him, because they had respect for each other.  Brock Lesnar respects nothing.  Triple H asks Shawn if he’s trying to talk him out of it.  Shawn tells him he’d better kick Lesnar’s ass.  Shawn will be in Triple H’s corner to make sure he does.  They get ready to give the crowd the “suck it,” chant, when Lesnar comes out w/Heyman.  Heyman lays it on the line.  Triple H had better get used to dissapointment.  At Mania, he will disapoint the fans, his best friend, his father-in-law, the board of directors and his wife…

“…But she’s probably used to that.” – Paul Heyman

Shawn and Hunter make the mistake of fighting from emotion, and that’s why Shawn had to retire, and that’s why Triple H will lose at Mania.

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS. ZACK RYDER

Miz joins the announce team at ringside.  Ryder starts off strong, but Barrett takes control and beats him down.  On the outside, Barrett jaw-jacks w/Miz, giving Ryder an opening.  Ryder hits the “brosky-boot” for two, but Barrett takes over and ends this with the Bell-Hammer Elbow.

Rytman Remark: Announce team spent the whole match trying to hard sell Miz as a threat to Barrett.  Came off pretty desperate.  Maybe Barrett might retain.

Backstage: RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Gurerro and her assistant Brad Maddox are talking when Santino Morella walks in, telling them Vince McMahon is here tonight and he’s P-O’d about them.  “Bricki” get freaked, until Santino reveals it was just an “April Fools” joke.  Vicki orders Santino into the ring, as Maddox says we’ll see who the fool is.

SANTINO MORELLA VS. MARK HENRY AND DO I EVEN HAVE TO BOTHER TYPING ANYTHING?

We get a look at last week’s Smackdown when Henry attacked Ryback during their weight-lifting challenge.  Cole tells us this did not violate their “no-contact” clause because Henry never touched Ryback, he just tried to shove a set of weights into his throat.

Rytman Remark: Are you fucking kidding me?

Mark grabs Santino.  Santino threatens to bring out the Cobr-World’s Strongest Slam, three-count.

“FEED ME MORE!”

Ryback is out and in the ring.  Henry reminds him of the no-contact clause, and walks off with a smile.  Ryback responds by picking up Santino AND RAMMING HIM INTO HENRY.  He checks if Santino is okay, THEN HOISTS HIM UP AND GORILLA PRESS-SLAMS HIM ON TO HENRY.  BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THE “GOOD GUY” DOES!

We go to break with Jack Swagger giving Zeb a pep-talk before his match with Del Rio

We come back to Matt Striker asking C.M. Punk if he’s disrespecting Paul Bearer’s memory…

“A better question is DO I GIVE A DAMN?” – C.M. Punk

Rytman Remark: I’ve been asking myself the same question.

Punk actually shocks me for a second with a remark about Paul Bearer’s streak of waking up every morning, which has been broken.   He warns Taker that if he loses his temper, Punk will win by DQ.  If he takes his eyes off the prise, he just might get choked out.  If he loses focus, he just might be down one second too long.  Punk makes it clear all he wants is to win, and he will spit in faces and walk on graves to do it, so that whenever anyone thinks of Wrestle-Mania, the grandest stage of all, they will think of C.M. Punk.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. ZEB COULTER

Before the break, we saw Swagger breaking the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez, making this personal.  Ricardo intros ADR and Del Rio sends him to the back to be safe.  Just as the match is starting, Ricardo comes back out, refusing to leave.  Zeb hangs back, close to the ropes as Swagger stalks Ricardo.  Ricardo raises a crutch, but Zeb swipes it.  Swagger goes after the bad ankle, Del Rio kicks him down and saves Ricardo.  Zeb wails on Del Rio with the Crutch when Del Rio rolls back in.  Ref calls for the DQ as Swagger and Zeb beat down ADR with Ricardo’s crutches.  Ricardo tries to get involved but Swagger swats him down.

Back from break, IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……

The Rock is out to make his big speech to the DC crowd.  Rock’s new movie, G.I. JOE: RETALLIATION is no.1 in the wold this week.  We’re reminded to “Tout” our opinions on who will win at Mania.

Rock’s connection with the people is the only reason he’s standing in the middle of the ring right now.  This Sunday isn’t about redemption, it’s about the will of the people, specifically the will of the people to see John Cena get curb-stomped.  The will of the people can change the world, and maybe if the people will it, the Rock would have to live in this town, in the big white house up the road, and maybe…

“We go from President Barack to President Rock!” – The Rock

Rytman Remark: If that happens, I’m surrendering to China.

The Rock makes it very clear that the only way Cena will get the Rock’s title, is if the Rock rolls it up into a ball, lights it on fire, and shoves it up Cena’s candy ass.

Back from break, we get another look at Fandango attacking Jericho last week.

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS. CHRIS JERICHO

Seriously, you can tell they’re just going throught the motions until Fandango comes out.  It’s a basic back and forth with Jericho taking over with a hurra-con-rana off the top rope.  Cue Fandango and partner comming out.  The match comes to a dead stop as we go to break.

Apparently, during the break, Fandango actually gave Jericho a “two” with a score-card.  Cesaro takes conrtol and spends a lot of time working the neck.  Cesaro dominates Jericho with brute force, but Jericho’s agility turns the tide.  Fandango walks to the ring, giving Jericho a “three.” Cesaro counters Jericho into the gut wrench, but Jericho comes back with high flying offense and takes out Fandango with a flying kick.  Jericho wins this with the “Walls Of Jericho” but Fandango attacks from behind.  He finishes Jericho off with the flying leg drop and gives us all the proper pronounciation of his name.

“FAHN-DAHN-GOH!” – Fandango

Jericho is left laying as Fandango and partner dance off.

Up next is OUR MAIN EVENT…

A promo…

From THE UNDERTAKER!

We come back to Touts.

Rytman Remark: That’s pretty much all I have to say about it.

The Funkadactyls are out w/Brodus and “Sweet T” for a Divas tag team match.  They do the entrance and go to break.

Rytman Remark: You couldn’t just finish the commercials then start the match?

THE FUNKADACTYLS (w/BRODUS/TENSAI) VS. THE BELLA TWINS  SISTERS (w/TEAM RHODES SCHOLLARS)

And yes, we will get an eight-person mixed tag at Mania, Brodus, Sweet T, and the Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhodes Schollars and the Bellas.

Naomi is the star of this match, carrying the workrate and spending most of it getting double-teamed.  The match is not as bad as it should be, but the Bellas are showing the ring rust.  The match consists of botched-spots and really should’ve been booked quicker.  Cameron tags in and comes off as the most capable of the girls.  The Bellas take it with a reversed roll-up as we go to break.

The Undertaker is out.  Punk’s WWE title reign lasted over 400 days, but the pain he’s facing will last for eternity.  Taker realizes the streak may come to an end, but Punk won’t live to talk about it.  Suddenly, a group of torch-bearing, chanting druids enter.  Taker looks on in confusion.

OH YES!!!

PAUL HEYMAN STANDS ON TOP OF THE STAGE DRESSED AS PAUL BEARER!

An enraged Undertaker goes after Heyman, then stops, realizing he’s been lead into a trap.  Taker unloads on the druids, but gets taken down from behind by the one he was looking for, C.M. Punk.  Punk beats down the Taker.  Taker reaches for the urn, but Punk has it, and uses it to beat the deadman down.

Punk stands over the Taker, holding the urn.  He opens the urn… and pours the ashes inside all over the Taker.  He lets them spill through his fingers and throws them in Takers face.  RAW ends with C.M. Punk mocking the Undertakers classic pose, as the Taker lies beaten on the ramp.

Rytman Remarks: Wow, I mean wow.  I was going to say this RAW was another auto-pilot show coasting into Mania until the end. 

Now look, I know those weren’t Paul Bearer’s actual ashes.  I know it was part of the act.  It’s just… I think it was too much.  It just took me somewhere really uncomfortable.

To be fair, they HAD to do something to get this show some momentum, but still, it just seems desperate. 

I really do hope it pays off.

The post RYTMAN’S RAW (REAL TIME-ISH, MAYBE?) REPORT appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

TONIGHT! I! ROBERT! RYTMAN! WILL! – Okay I’m sorry.  Tonight I will attempt to bring you a real-time(ish) report on tonight’s Monday Night RAW.   I got Triple H and Lesnar, I got Punk on Taker, and I got an upset stomach.

Here we go!

We’re opening with a tribute video to Paul Bearer, featuring a montage of his moments with Taker and a cavalcade of co-stars.

And here comes the Undertaker.

Side Note; I will be following WWE on Twitter to keep up with anything I miss, and most likely will be quoting directly from their Twitter feed.

Taker is in the ring with a small silver urn on a stand.  He does the pose as William Moody’s memorial pic comes up on the tron AND C.M. PUNK JUST INTERUPTED IT!

Punk is out smiling in a gray hoodie, with a mike.

@WWEUniverse – We salute #PaulBearer 1954-2013 …. and the bell tolls … #Undertaker #RAW

Punk is out here to pay his respects to the Undertaker, and apollogize to Taker… for his loss at Wrestlemania.  The one silver lining in all this is, to Paul Bearer, the Taker will always be perfect, but next week won’t be any heart-felt tributes to Paul Bearer.  Next week will be a tribute to Punk breaking the streak.

Next up, Big Show v.s. Rollins.

During the break, Kane – upset with Punk’s disrespectful interuption, attempted to choke-slam him off the stage.  Punk escapes and Kane rampages backstage, taking out anyone in his way.

Big Show is in the ring, and we’re recaping Show taking a Shield-Bomb from last week.

Seth Rollins makes his way to the ring through the crowd, with the Shield in tow.

The Shield‏@TheShieldWWE Sierra Hotel India Echo Lima Delta … @TheShieldWWE is LIVE on #RAW!! #BelieveInTheShield … Big Show soon will! #HoundsOfJustice

BIG SHOW VS SETH ROLLINS (W/THE SHIELD)

At first, Show tosses his enimes around like toys, but he’s overwhelmed by the numbers.  The Shield attacks getting Show the DQ.  Show fights back but the Shield leaves the Big Show lying in the ring after the triple-power bomb.

WINNER BY DQ: BIG SHOW

Backstage, C.M. Punk complains to Vicki (and Brad, her assistant,) demanding she “put a leash” on Kane’s little brother.  Vicki responds by booking him in a No DQ match with Kane.

“May God have mercy on your soul.” – Vicki Gurero.

Daniel Bryan is out next for his match with Dolph Ziggler.  We get a recap of last Friday when AJ Lee tried to give Bryan grief about losing the World Championship in 18 seconds.

“With Dolph Ziggler, you should be used to things lasting 18 seconds.” – Daniel Bryan

Back from break, we get a “Remembering Paul Bearer Segment,” featuring his first appearence on WWE tv, on the “Brother Love Show,” with the Undertaker. 02/16/1991

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN VS DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/AJ LEE & BIG E.)

As the match gets underway, Cole and Lawler at ringside, mention Bryan’s “Beard Battle” on Twitter w/@joshreddick16.  Bryan is in control as Lawler compares AJ to the Wicked Witch of The West from “The Wizard of Oz,” refrencing her taking a bucket of water to the face on Smackdown last Friday.  Bryan has Ziggler on the floor but Big E. steps in front of a dive attempt by Bryan as we go to break…

@WWE – Send us your tribute to the late Paul Bearer via @TOUT with the tag #PaulBearer, and we’ll use the best on-air tonight during #RAW!

We come back with Ziggler in control but not for long.  Bryan is dominating Ziggler with his speed, agility, and kicks.  Bryan tries a belly-to-back off the top rope, but Ziggler twists in mid-air and gets a two-count, landing on top of Bryan.  Ziggler hits a hot-shot and the “fame-asser,” for two.  Bryan gets in the no-lock but AJ distracts the Ref while Big E. pulls Ziggler into the ropes.  Bryan has to break.  After an exchange of missed shots and counter-holds, Ziggler gets the three-count with the Zig-Zag.

WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER

Rytman Remark: Nice to see AJ/Big E. finally figured out how the whole “distract the ref thing” works.

@BigELangston – Never trust a man with two first names…or miss an opportunity to leave him laying. @WWEDanielBryan #RAW

Ziggler gets a kiss from AJ and Big E. gets to batter Bryan with a Big E. beat-down.

@JustinRoberts – I was always a fan of Paul Bearer & everything He did @ ringside-later on,outside the ring.Thank U Friend #PaulBearer

We get a recap of the Triple H/Brock Lesnar feud going over everything leading up to Triple H’s challenge last week.  Lesnar will be here tonight to answer the challenge.

‏@ezekielwwe – Am I allowed to admit that I was scared yet intrigued by #PaulBearer #RIPPaulBearer

WWE Slam Of The Week – Honky Tonk Man’s guitar shot on Heath Slater last week.

Brodus Clay and “Sweet T” (Tensai) are out with the Funkadactyls.  Ring announcer Justin Roberts introduces Fandango, but he no-shows.  Tensai grabs the mike and demands Fandango get out here.

A sexy ballroom dancer comes out, followed by AND I AM NOT DOING THE STUPID PRONOUNCIATION BIT Fandango.  He calls Tensai an “abomination” and an embarrassment to everyone, even here in the Midwest, where we no nothing about the arts.  He demands his name be spoken by the “sensual lips,” of Funkadactyl Naomi, saying she’s the only one with any rhythm, and she’s “better than this.” Tensai steps in and Fandango says thanks to him, we don’t get to see his debut.

Rytman Remark: So, we care about Naomi now?

Side Note: Was Naomi the one girl on the all-Diva edition of NXT that seemed to know what she was doing?

We get a trailer for the new G.I. Joe movie staring the Rock and go to break, with THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS going up against Team Rhodes Scholars after the break.

Remembering Paul Bearer – Wrestlemania XX – 2004, Paul Bearer leads Undertaker to the ring.

In the ring, we have Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes doing a parody of the NAO’s entrance in Sandow’s own signature style,

“The folowing interpritation, is brought to you by taste and good form…” – Damien Sandow

“Derh-nuh-nuh-nuh…” – Cody Rhodes

“Oh, you were not aware of this?” – Damien Sandow

“Derh-nuh-nuh-nuh…” – Cody Rhodes

“Your posterior better contact someone at once!” – Damien Sandow

“Ladies and Getlemen, young people of all genders and ages, taste and decency proudly present to you, the re-united future tag team champions and best friends, the essence of mustachioed magnificence, the intellectual savior of the masses, TEAM RHODES SCHOLLARS!” – Cody Rhodes

“And if your not… down with that, we’ve got two words for you…” – Damien Sandow

“YOU’RE WELCOME!” – Team Rhodes Scholars

The NAO come out, plaining to show them how it’s done…

“Lord have mercy, this one’s for you Percy.” – Road Dogg Jessie James

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, De-Generation – X, proudly presents to you, the five time WWE…TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!  THE ROAD DOGG JESSIE JAMES!  THE BADASS BILLY GUN! THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS!” – Road Dogg Jessie James

“And if you’re not down with that, well we just got two words for ya!” – Badass Billy Gun

“SUCK IT!” – The New Age Outlaws and WWE universe.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS VS THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS

And just as I typed that – HERE COMES THE PAIN!

Brock Lesnar is out and F-5’s both NAO’s.

NO CONTEST

Heyman has the mike.

“Brock Lesnar doesn’t play games, he hurts people.” – Paul Heyman

Heyman runs down the list of people important to Triple H that Lesnar has hurt, including Shawn Michales, Vince McMahon, and now the NAO.  Lesnar will face Triple H at Mania – IF he agrees to let Brock/Heyman name the stipulations AFTER he blindly signs the contract.

“And if you’re not down with that, I got two words for ya, BRRRRRROCK LESNAR!”

We’re reminded of Punk vs Kane later tonight as we go to break.

KOFI KINGSTON VS MARK HENRY

Almost a complete job by Kingston.  Henry boots Kofi out of the ring with a kick.  Kofi Komes back by side-steping Henry into the post and hits the Superman punch off the steel steps.  Kofi gets HUGE AIR with a body-press attempt, but get caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the three.

WINNER: MARK HENRY

Backstage – Cody is flirting with Divas Champ Kaitlyn, when Sandow interupts, followed by THE BELLA TWINS! Apparently they’re back and Sandow has a double date set-up with them for himself and Cody.  Kaitlyn bails while a Bella grabs Cody’s ATTENTION (you pervs.) Vicki walks in and tells them the date has to wait.  Since their scheduled match was scratched, they’re getting a new one, against Sheamus and Randy Orton.

“You’re welcome.” – Vicki Gurerro

Ryback hits the ring as we go to break.

Rytman Remark: Do I have to blow somebody to get Page on the main roster?  And the Bellas?  Nice to have boyfriends in good graces with HR.

RYBACK VS HEATH SLATER

Henry comes to ringside to glare as –

WINNER: RYBACK

Rytman Remark: Seriously?  Do you need anymore than that?

Drew McIntyre jumps Ryback and takes the Shell-shock as Henry storms the ring.  McIntyre becomes the prop in a one-up contest as Henry/Ryback take turns bouncing him around.  Henry leaves with no more than some words being exchanged.

Later tonight, Rhodes Scholars vs Orton/Sheamus, Punk vs Kane, and Alberto Del Rio vs Antonio Cesaro next!

We come back to a preview of “THE CALL,” a new WWE films release staring Halle Berry and WWE superstar David Otunga.

Cesaro is in the ring, and Ricardo is out to intro ADR.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO W/RICARDO VS. WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO

As Del Rio walks to the ring, we get a PIP promo from the World’s Champ.

“I was born in Mexico, but I was made in America.” – Alberto Del Rio

Cesaro is on the defensive until he yanks Del Rio off the ropes by the ankles.  Cesaro beats ADR down but misses a charge into the corner, and Del Rio hits a flurry of offense including a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker and a Back-Stabber with Cesaro hung on the middle rope.  Cesaro takes over, meeting ADR in mid air with the European Upper-cut, but Alberto gets the submission by countering a German suplex into the cross-arm-breaker.

WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO

Backstage, Kane is being interviewed about how tough things have been for him.  Kane says nothing.  He holds up the urn from Taker’s tribute, and walks off.

“SAY SOMETHING!” – A**Hole in the crowd.

Rytman Remarks: I know Kane is not Paul Bearer’s son.  I know that’s an angle.  I STILL SAY THE JERK IN THE CROWD WAS BEING A DICK!

We’ll get a preview of ROCK/CENA at Wrestlemania next.

Remembering Paul Bearer – 1997, Bearer introduces Kane to the WWE.

Video Package tracing the Rock vs Cena timeline going back to last year’s Wrestlemania, highlighting Cena’s and Rock’s wins at the Royal Rumble.

Orton makes his entrance as we go to break.

We come back with a recap of Lesnar attacking the NAO, setting up the tag match w/Orton and Sheamus for team Rhodes Scholars.

RANDY ORTON/SHEAMUS VS TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS

The Rhodes Scholars are in the ring and Sheamus makes his entrance.  Sheamus starts out strong until Sandow pulls the top rope down, letting Sheamus spill out.  Sandow and Rohdes double team Sheamus until Orton tags in and takes over.  Sandow saves Rhodes from a mid-rope DDT.  Orton clocks Sandow, Rhodes sends Randy into the post, and Cody takes over.  Orton turns the tide with a superplex and Sheamus makes the hot tag.  Rhodes takes an RKO, Sandow takes the Brouge Kick, and the “Celtic Vipers,” (as named by a fan on Twitter,) get the three-count.

WINNERS: ORTON/SHEAMUS

When we come back, Miz and Wade Barrett on “The Highlight Reel” with Chris Jericho.

During the break, Sheamus and Orton get beaten down by the Shield.  Orton takes a flying knee and Sheamus takes the spear.

We get some fans on “Tout,” sharing memories of Paul Bearer.

Jericho is out for the Highlight Reel, in the sparkly jacket.

“Is this jacket working? They’re very tempremental.” – Jericho

Apparently, there was something wrong with the “Jeri-tron.”

“Did you see my magic trick?  I made my Jeri-tron dissapear.” Jericho

Miz is the first guest out.  Miz says it’s great to be a guest for a change.  Jericho mentions his lack of furniture.  Jericho plays up Miz’s success with “Marine 3,” showing a clip, when Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett comes out, with a clip of “Dead Man Down,” his feature film with Colin Firth.  Barrett says THAT is a feature film.  Miz does an imperssion of Barrett.  Barrett insults Miz’s acting range.  Miz mentions Barrett not winning match in weeks.  We get into the “really” bit until Jericho chimes in with his own take.

“Ruh-hehehehehehehehe-ly.” – Jericho 

“How bad is this?” – Michael Cole

Barrett threatens to drop Jericho, Jericho takes off the sparkly jacket and reminds Barrett that he help him make it through NXT and has held the Intercontinental championship a record nine-times, and threatens to make it ten.  Brad Maddox comes out on behalf of the Super Hero Management team of “Briki,” (him/Vicki,) and orders Barrett to defend his title next week against the winner of a match between Jericho and Miz.  Brad then asks that someone come out to clear the ring, that didn’t have anything in it.

“This could be the worst segment in RAW history.” Michael Cole.

Rytman Remarks: BURYING THE BIT DOESN’T HELP YOU JACKASS!  Seriously, Cole bitches over Maddox’s lines so much you almost miss the announcement.  Side Note: Is Maddox being a space cadet supposed to be a rib on someone specificly?  Cause it’s a looooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng list of candidates.

JERICHO VS MIZ

We come back from break to the match.  It’s kind of a rushed back and forth, that ends with Jericho side stepping Miz into Barrett, who joined the announce table.  Barrett goes after both men, and gets his butt-kicked.  This ends with Barrett taking the Skull-Crushing-Finale and the Code Breaker.

NO CONTEST

From there, we go to Ricardo and ADR doing a parody of Jeb Coulter and Jack Swagger’s YouTube videos.  Backstage, Swagger is pissed.

Remembering Paul Bearer- 1995 – We get a bit with Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji being grilled by one of the detectives from “NYPD Blue,” while wearing a dress.  Taker’s music hits, the lights go out, and Fuji’s in the dress when they come back on.

Jack Swagger is out with Jeb Coulter.  Coulter has the mike and is not in a good mood.  Sin Cara is in the ring.  Coulter turns his attention to Sin Cara.  He accuses the WWE universe of being “programmed” to like Sin Cara and calls Cara a “Mexican jumping bean” and a “thief,” saying there’s little Sin Cara’s sneaking into our country 365 days a year.  He blames us for letting it happen and says he and Swagger will speak for us if we’re too afraid too.

JACK SWAGGER VS SIN CARA 

Quick match that Sin Cara actually dominates w/his fast-paced high-flying style, until he dives into a boot by Swagger.  Swagger works the leg and ankle of the luchador legend and gets the win with the “Patriot Act” submission.

WINNER: JACK SWAGGER

We go to a promo for “The Call.” Halle Berry is doing press when David Otunga interrupts her with a phone call, warning her that a co-worker of his got her number after threatening him.  Her next call is from KANE!  He goes derpy fan-boy on her until she hangs up on him.  From the interview, Halle sets off Kane’s pyro with her frustration.

“Does that mean we aren’t going on that picnic?” – Kane

We come back from break to a rewind of Kane going after Punk for interrupting Taker’s tribute.

Punk is out, followed by Kane, as we’re told Ryback will face Mark Henry on Smackdown this Friday.

C.M. PUNK VS KANE

Kane carries the Urn that was part of the act for so long.  Punk scores a charging drop-kick to the outside, and goes after Kane with stomps and kicks and-

Well hello Blond in front row, black t-shirt.

MATCH! RIGHT! It’s a brawl on the outside.  They hit each other with whatever they can grab.  Kane throws Punk back in the ring.  Punk fights off a super-plex attempt and hits and elbow off the top rope.  Kane comes back and hurls Punk over the ropes.

We go to break.

We come back to the chaos.  Punk slips out of Kane’s grasp and scores a hit.  Kane reverses a whip and sends Punk into a chair wedged into the corner.  Kane unloads on Punk with  high-impact moves, and proceeds to tear the place apart, peppering the ring with chairs.  Punk reverses a choke-slam attempt into a DDT on a chair and takes over.  The match goes back/forth until the Taker’s bell tolls.  A distracted Punk takes a choke-slam and Kane gets the three-count!

WINNER: KANE

After the match, Punk nails Kane from behind with the urn.  Taker comes to the ring and runs Punk off.

Up on the stage, Punk has the urn and mocks the Takers classic pose.

Punk has the urn, Taker has a vendetta, and RAW comes to an end.

The post RYTMANS RAW RECAP – REAL TIME! (I HOPE) appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 64 (MP3, 2:10:05)

This week’s break song is “Sell Out” by Reel Big Fish.  Buy it here!

The post BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 64 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

This is great.

We break stuff and complain because The Rock beat CM Punk at the Royal Rumble. That’s worse than having your eye shot out, apparently. Jorge’s herpes flare up. The crew is joined by Brian Muller once again, and in a shocking twist ending, Jorge joins twitter. We talk Royal Rumble, RAW, SmackDown, Main Event, ROH, and IMPACT. We talk about the news, including Sunny’s recent SIXTH arrest, Bret Hart’s interview where he gives Triple H’s last ‘Mania match a “4 out of 10,” and of course, the man whose stolen all our hearts, James Dotterer, including a great Joe rant about how CM Punk is the real People’s Champion. Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 60 (MP3, 2:16:17)

The post BWF Radio Episode 60 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Shamrock’s latest victim

Once again we’re back!  ThinkSoJoE, JT, G of the Internet, and returning to BWF Radio, our special guest Wrasslor Monkey discuss this week in professional wrestling!  Did Triple H retire on RAW?  Did the Gut Check Challenge competitor get his contract on IMPACT?  Did Damien Sandow avoid a physical confrontation with Sheamus?  (Answer:  No.)  Who is this man in the picture on the right side of this article (It’s a woman that Ken Shamrock beat up)?  What does Mark Out Man do outside of going to WWE shows?  Why did Kofi Kingston want to be called “Joey?”  The Cameron’s job death watch is on!  Who will be a part of the new unauthorized ECW DVD?  All this stuff and much more here on Bored Wrestling Fan Radio Episode 38!  (You can find our guest co-host, Wrasslor Monkey, at Wrestling With Text).

Also, please stick around after the actual BWF Radio podcast and listen as Professor Salmon and Zwan bring us the Slam Jam!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 38 (MP3, 2:30:36)

Mark Out Man, as seen on RAW (also known as the Brock Lesnar Superfan) is on Twitter here.

The Video Game Project, Pro Wrestling X: Uprising on can be found here.

Finally, but not least, check out Al Creed’s latest 8-bit wrestling creation:

Last Sunday marked the 1 year anniversary of Super Domino vs Great Power Uti in Nigeria! We didn’t talk about this on the show, but it’s still good to know. G and Pintnoir’s pick for best wrestling story of 2011

The post BWF Radio 38 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

1. John Cena (NR)

The win over Brock Lesnar despite an injured arm is enough to catapult John Cena back into the Power Poll and knock Brock out of the number one position.

2. Brock Lesnar (1)

The pain has arrived in the WWE as Lesnar injures Cena and Triple H in back to back nights, but have we seen the last of Lesnar?

3. CM Punk (2)

The WWE Champion once again proves that he’s the best in the world by defeating Chris Jericho at Extreme Rules, but his Over The Limit opponent may have a claim to that title as well.

4. Sheamus (6)

A grueling two out of three falls match at Extreme Rules with Daniel Bryan allowed the Celtic Warrior to prove that his WrestleMania win was no fluke.

5. Daniel Bryan (NR)

Despite not regaining his World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules, will the answer to the question, “Is Daniel Bryan the next WWE Champion” be “YES!?”

6. Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (NR)

While the WWE might be holding off on making the t-shirts after the Air Boom fiasco, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth walked out of RAW with the WWE Tag Team Championships.

7. Randy Orton (8)

After defeating the monster in a falls count anywhere match at Extreme Rules, has Orton gotten rid of his Kane nightmare for good?

8. Cody Rhodes (NR)

It wasn’t the prettiest victory, but Cody Rhodes took back his Intercontinental Championship in a tables match at Extreme Rules to jump back into the Power Poll.

9. Ryback (9)

Two may be better than one, but nine is equal to nine, and that’s where Ryback winds up once again this week.

10. Layla (NR)

Were you expecting somebody else?  Layla returns at Extreme Rules to take the Divas Championship from Nikki Bella, then beats BOTH Bellas the next night on RAW, showing the twins the door in the process.

Fallen Out Of The Top 10:

Chris Jericho, Edge, Lord Tensai, Big Show, Nikki Bella

(Last week’s Position)

The post Power Poll 5/5/12 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA983t3Rdzs[/youtube]

What’s that? You didn’t want Madonna? You had enough of her during the NFL’s Half-Time show? You want some wrestling related Half-Time show shenanigans? How about our first match then.. A WWF Championship match between Mankind and Triple H from August 1999.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pEF9CAB87g[/youtube]

and now, for our Half-Time commercials, and we start with a commercial for WWF SmackDown! 2: Know Your Role

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6ZAl1EfBq8[/youtube]

Keeping with the commercials, as they seem to be a big thing during half-time, with a commercial for WrestleMania. 2000. The Video Game.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl1w8ZwSsyY[/youtube]

Back to the action.. or rather the build up to our Main Event with the RAW Rebound, highlights of the past week, leading up to our Main Event.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcxMPpZsJgY[/youtube]

How about the WWF commercial played during half-time during 1999s event?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi7RgBU1nlE[/youtube]

and now, to our Main Event. We don’t need Madonna. We have a WWF Championship match. The Rock and Mankind faced each other during the 1999 edition of NFL’s main attraction, in an Empty Arena match.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bdSgWF37Lw[/youtube]

Thank You for joining us for our Half-Time festivities, enjoy the rest of the game. Or if you’re reading this after the game. Enjoy ESPN’s fourteen week coverage from the game.

The post BWF’s Half-Time Show appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

This vote does not refer to Triple H’s leadership, any particular COO, or any particular superstar. While this opinion may be a minority one, it refers to the WWE in general, and my complete lack of confidence in its ability to entertain me as a wrestling  or “sports entertainment” fan. The dominant angle of “the Walk-Out” and the bulk of the lesser stories as they are currently portrayed do nothing for me as a wrestling fan, and without inciting any sort of personal animosity, I would like to explain why.

First of all, let’s make one thing crystal clear. Some people really like “the Walk-Out” angle, and are totally into it. That’s great. I’m genuinely glad that someone is enjoying it. It’s not that I “don’t get it.” I do get it. The visual of even the cameramen laying down their equipment and walking out, leaving JR as the last person to exit, was completely unexpected, and certainly powerful. This is also not an issue of bashing Triple H for hijacking a hot angle from CM Punk and centering it around himself. I’m not a Triple H-hater, nor do I believe that Punk can do no wrong. Sure, Punk entertains me, both on the ring and on the mic, more on his worst day than Triple H on his best, but that’s as may be. That’s purely personal opinion, and is neither right nor wrong. Wrestling used to have options for all personal opinions, and one simply liked what one liked. The issue is bigger than that.

The issue is that, however the story is dressed up, it’s simply a variant of the “struggle for power” angle that has been going on since the first round of Austin/McMahon. Who has the power? Who runs the show? Who is in charge? Who cares??? The story is so overused and worn out that it doesn’t matter. When the “power struggle” story is in play, title belts, established feuds between wrestlers, and the competition in general that should be at the heart of every wrestling promotion’s existence, cease to matter. Why should Wrestler A concern himself with defeating Wrestler B when authority figures with hiring and firing capabilities are at each other’s throats? This is a story that does still have a place, but not right now. Not for a good seven years, really. Once upon a time, a power struggle for control of a wrestling promotion was a huge deal because you rarely saw it. Much like Hell in a Cell matches, it was saved for a truly grand occasion. Now, repetition has rendered it impotent as a storytelling device. Truthfully, who calls the shots in a company is boring when compared to a lengthy title chase for an underdog babyface who is cheated and thwarted at every turn, but ultimately wins his just reward at a ppv.

Speaking of which, another reason for lack of confidence in WWE at the moment is the bizarre face/heel dynamic. All jokes about Vince Russo’s demotion aside, one would swear that the man had jumped ship again to WWE, considering the recent actions of several top babyface wrestlers. Kelly Kelly attacks Beth Phoenix from behind, throwing a screaming tantrum like a spoiled five-year-old, and repeatedly shrieking, “Give me back my belt!” That’s not fire from  a wronged babyface, that’s a bratty crybaby. Watching her was even more embarrassing than usual. John Cena enters the cage after Alberto Del Rio pins CM Punk and wins the World title, and beats Del Rio down like he owes him money. The match was a Hell in a Cell match, where anything goes. Did Cena not understand that he hadn’t actually been screwed, just outsmarted? Cena’s assaults of Ricardo Rodriguez have not always been with merit, either. Sure, Rodriguez interferes with matches, and sometimes deserves what he gets. However, when Cena gives a non-wrestler character an Attitude Adjustment or otherwise beats him down with no real provocation (which has happened several times), that’s not babyface behavior. Randy Orton, aside from being boring enough to bring people OUT of comas so that they can change the channel, is cheered for punting people in the head (or at least attempting to) after already soundly defeating them. What Orton did to Cody Rhodes, when he bashed him in the head with the ring bell and caused injuries requiring stitches, was not an Austin-esque move. Despite a few notable exceptions, most of Austin’s worst behavior was against the vilest heels who really deserved it. What has Cody Rhodes really done to deserve possible brain damage? Are paper bags truly that hateful? The point is that while there is always room for experimentation with character, anti-heroes, and something other than the traditional black-and-white division of babyfaces and heels, WWE is asking for too much suspension of disbelief without enough good reason.

Finally, the motivation for “the Walk-Out” lacks any sense of urgency or clarity. Heels like Christian, Alberto Del Rio, Wade Barrett, Vickie Guerrero and her stable, and David Otunga SHOULD be obviously lying about an unsafe work environment and chaos. That’s the whole point. The real problem lies with everyone else. No babyface has yet given a coherent reason as to why they voted “no confidence” and walked out. Lawler gave the closest thing to an explanation so far, but made himself look weak and silly by walking out after insisting that it wasn’t Triple H’s fault. No one can explain why they did it. Daniel Bryan didn’t. Air Boom didn’t. The fact that both Mark Henry and the Big Show, not to mention Randy Orton, have done more to create unsafe working environments for everyone, and are never acknowledged as doing so, is pathetic. The concept of “the Walk-Out” isn’t inherently flawed, but the justifications for it certainly are. Is asking for a solid reason for actions so drastic honestly too much?

Many writers from other sites have pointed out that having the entire roster walk out on Triple H was a last-minute Vince McMahon decision. It shows. Keeping the top babyfaces in the back so that fans didn’t boo them along with the mid-card and undercard babyfaces was one of many nonsensical choices made. Why not at least have a brief backstage segment where said top babyfaces were approached by other wrestlers, and then had to make a decision? Whether or not one buys into the assertion made in several camps that Vince’s megalomania demands a televised story that proves once and for all that Triple H is a less effective leader than he is, that “union” members are cowards hiding behind legal counsel, and that only Vince McMahon can save the day, one definitely has to wonder how the pipe bomb promo of the Summer of Punk II transformed into this.

The post No Confidence appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

For those of you who have no idea who Mr. Peppermint is, click here. His show, Peppermint Palace, was on every Saturday morning on ABC at 6 (or 5, I don’t remember). His show meant Saturday morning cartoons were going to start. And that was back when you didn’t have Nick Jr. or Cartoon Network. This was the highlight of your week. So a moment of silence and respect to Mr. Peppermint.

We have some questions from last week’s Raw. What will come of “on-fire” Alberto del Rio? What of Miz and Truth being fired? What injury will Tony Romo suffer? What indy promotion do I want to get next and do a review on? (I’m thinking Chikara.)

We start off with Triple H. I look at upcoming Chikara and AAW shows. My AIW show is on its way. Triple H was interrupted by Vickie Guerrero. And yet, people still booed her. Ziggler sounded really good. Ziggler and Triple H played off each other really well. Then Cody Rhodes interrupted. And then Christian interrupted. Christian gets lots of matches. Ziggler fights Zack Ryder. Cody Rhodes gets a Battle Royal.

This was a pretty good fast Battle Royal. Cody Rhodes retained.

After the break, Super Dave Osborne is talking to “Not-so-Super” David Otunga. Apparently, he is still a lawyer even if he’s not practicing. Oh, the stupid… It burns.

We got a tag match. Nattie/Beth vs. Eve/Kelly. We got a Kelly Kelly video package. We need more of these. The crowd actually seemed to care about this match. Beth pinned the champion. Hopefully we get Beth winning more. Her and Nattie are a really good duo.

Mark Henry took apart Great Khali. It was an awesome image and added credibility to his tear of destruction.

John Cena cut a promo. Kansas City thought he was the Chiefs because there were some cheers, but a lot more boos. Then Del Rio came out ringside. Del Rio was doing commentary with his wrestling tights on. Then Punk came out with his announcer’s jacket. This match ended in a DQ. This was the best way to do this. Christian didn’t lose.

We got Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler. We got to plug Hugh Jackman’s film. Ziggler looked really good in this match. Due to some outside interference by Jack Swagger, we got a tainted Ziggler victory. Air Boom came to Ryder’s rescue.

Teddy Long made a match: AirBoom/Ryder vs. Swagger/Ziggler in a handicap match. This was a fun match. The crowd was really into it. Vickie went out and found a soon-to-be-suspended Mason Ryan, affectionately known as “Matista.” He’s a heel still. As soon as Mason Ryan was tagged it, he was a heel no more. He took out Team Vickie. Why did he do that? Interesting question.

Not-so-Super David Otunga is talking to the boys in the locker room. He’s creating a lawsuit. I like this. It’s creating an interesting storyline.

Our main event was ADR vs. CM Punk. This was a really decent match. Punk won. Then the cage lowered. Punk and Cena destroyed Ricardo Rodriguez and then ADR destroyed the other two with a chair.

This was a pretty good Raw, but then again, I DVR’d it so I didn’t have to sit through the stuff I didn’t want to see. But a lot of questions are raised. And I’m really digging the build-up for Hell in a Cell.

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The post Raw Is Dedicated to Mr. Peppermint 9-26-11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Whilst travelling through the depths of the Attitude era, I noticed something that proves that one of the biggest wrestlers of the modern era, has been living a lie for several years. For those new to the game, Triple H has called himself the King Of Kings for years. He was calling himself that when I was a fan, and I’m quite positive he still does, (I’m sure someone will tell me if he doesn’t these days). However, Triple H is in fact NOT the King Of Kings.

On the June 29, 1998 edition of WWF Raw Is War, a special ‘King Of Kings’ match, between former King Of The Ring winners Triple H and Owen Hart, and current King Of The Ring Ken Shamrock, took place.

As the following video proof shows (It’s just at the start of the Warzone, 7:30 into the first video to get there exactly), it was Ken Shamrock, not Triple H, who won the match. Thus proving that Triple H is not the King Of Kings, and has been living a lie since whichever WrestleMania he was, where he faced John Cena.

And that’s a random wrestling fact that you wouldn’t of known about.

The post The War On.. And Now, A Random Wrestling Fact That You Wouldn’t Of Known About appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Highlights:  CM Punk pinned John Cena while Cena’s foot was on the bottom rope, Kevin Nash jackknifed Punk, and Alberto Del Rio cashed in.

I hear Chad Kroeger.  He tells me to burn things.

The pyro lights up the arena, and we are LIVE in San Diego!  Perhaps we’re going to get some answers early on, because according to Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead, “It’s time to play The Game!”  Triple H says it’s understandable that people are upset.  He wants to apologize to the WWE Universe, and more importantly, to John Cena.  He’ll make no excuses, after watching the replay, he knows John Cena’s foot was clearly on the bottom rope as he counted him down.  Later on tonight, he’ll look John Cena in the eye, and he’ll tell him exactly that.  CM Punk and Cena were having a hell of a match, it was incredible, and if Hunter hadn’t screwed it up, he’s not sure who would have won.  But things happened the way they happened, and he had no problem raising the hands of the new Undisputed WWE Champion, CM Punk.  As for what happened after that, a lot of people are speculating about Hunter’s involvement.  He assures everybody he had nothing to do with any of it.  Yes, he’s friends with Kevin Nash and has been for years.  He called Hunter and asked for a couple of tickets, and that’s the last he’s spoken to Kevin Nash.  He didn’t know he’d jump the rail and attack CM Punk.  He hasn’t spoken to Nash but he invited him via text to come to San Diego and explain himself.  Nash says that as long as he’s allowed to tell the truth, he’ll be here tonight.  As far as Alberto Del Rio cashing in Money In The Bank, Triple H didn’t know anything about it, but that’s the way Money In the Bank works.  Triple H promised everybody that when SummerSlam was over, that there would no longer be two champions, only one Undisputed WWE Champion, and here he is.

The WWE Champion, Alberto Del Rio makes his way out, sans Ricardo Rodriguez.  I’m trying to get a good look at the belt – I want to see if it’s Cena’s or Punk’s belt (you can tell the difference – Punk’s was missing a “C” on the word “Champion” on the plate to the right of the main plate).  Alberto says that he is the WWE Champion, but you, you already knew that.  It’s Punk’s belt, BTW.  He’s been saying for weeks that it was his destiny to be WWE Champion.  He’ll be honest with us, because he loves us.  It wasn’t his intention to cash in at SummerSlam.  Destiny does whatever it wants.  Plus, after what Kevin Nash did, he couldn’t resist.  What can he say?  Some people are just born to be great, and we know that Alberto Del Rio is the greatest of the great, our Undisputed WWE Champion.  As our Champion, he wants to represent every single one of us with respect, with honesty, with passion.  The fans start chanting “619.”  Del Rio just wants to be our Champion.  Tonight, he’ll be in the lobby signing autographs for all of the fans in attendance.  He’ll take pictures with all the kids.  That’s the Champion he’s going to be.  A Champion for us, his people.  Tonight, for his very first title defense, he’s going to face the former WWE Champion, Rey Mysterio!  Yes, let’s cheer Rey!  When they told him he’d face Mysterio for his first defense, he was happy, because we all love Rey Mysterio.  Del Rio love Rey Mysterio, he’s a Mexican icon.  El Grand Luchador.  Del Rio encourages the 619 chants.  Del Rio loves Rey Mysterio.  He love beating Rey Mysterio.  He started his WWE career by beating Rey Mysterio.  Every morning when he wakes up, he asks himself what he wants to do today – “I feel like beating Rey Mysterio!”  That’s exactly what he’ll do tonight in San Diego.  Tonight, he’ll beat that little chihuahua, Rey Mysterio.  The people better go and change their area code.  No more 619, because after tonight, they’ll have a new hero.  A true hero.  The Undisputed WWE Champion, Alberto Del Rio!

And yes, indeed, still to come tonight is Rey Mysterio challenging Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship!

Triple H walks into John Cena’s locker room…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

R-Truth has new music – it’s a rock remix of the beat from “What’s Up.”  This is a falls count anywhere match coming up, between R-Truth and John Morrison.  If I were Truth, I’d run really really fast and attack him during the slo-mo so it looks like I’m moving in regular speed.  Anyways, Morrison said earlier that he’s going to take Truth down on his terms.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

These guys were extremely impressive last night at SummerSlam in their six man tag match.  Morrison knocks Truth out of the ring and hits a corkscrew suicide dive for a two count.  Morrison is in firm control outside of the ring.  Morrison hits a Flying Chuck off of the barricade for another two count.  Morrison tries to suplex Truth, but Truth blocks each attempt, then plants Morrison face first onto the concrete floor, scoring himself a two count.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Truth has control and gets a two count when we come back.  During the break, he’d dumped Morrison off the top rope and to the floor.  Truth is assaulting Morrison outside of the ring, then charges in and sandwiches Morrison’s head between the barricade and his knee.  Truth scores a couple of two counts.  A “Little Jimmy” chant breaks out, which freaks Truth out, then he snaps and continues to assault Morrison.  He crotches Morrison on the barricade, then clotheslines him into the crowd.  Truth scores a two in the middle of the crowd.  BTW, I hate the way Scott Armstrong makes his pin counts.  It just looks weird.  Truth dumps Morrison back over the barricade, but wastes too much time coming back over himself and gets a roundhouse for his trouble, scoring Morrison a two.  Truth grabs an office chair, but Morrison clothelines him before he manages to find a use for it.  Morrison suplexes Truth into the chair, then knees him off of it, picking up the pinfall victory!

Winner:  John Morrison via pinfall

That’s it.  These guys are now officially banned from OfficeMax for playing with the chairs.

CM Punk is in the building, and he doesn’t look happy!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Clip:  Rey Mysterio wins his first World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 22.  He’ll have a chance to recapture the WWE Championship tonight!

AWEEESOOMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEE!

The Most Must See WWE Champion of All Time, The Miz is here!  He’s dressed in a suit, which means that Alex Riley will probably come out and rip it off of him.  Riley hates it when The Miz wears suits.  I know, we’re past that feud.  Miz has been asked by somebody to say hello to somebody in the audience.   That person is Jared from Subway.  The Miz only decided to do it because he knows Jared is a Mizfit.  Miz isn’t a fan of Jared’s.  He thinks he can do Jared’s job better than he could.  He could be a better spokesperson for Subway than Jared ever could be.  In fact, he’ll show us.  Miz snatches the sub out of Jared’s hands as a “Subway sucks” chant breaks out (Mrs. ThinkSoJoE and I would join in on that chant if we were at the show).  Miz cuts a promo for the new oven crisp chicken sandwich.  He does a pretty darn good job.  He says it’s better than anything Jared’s ever done.  The only reason oven crisp chicken sandwich is trending is because of The Miz.  He’s the star, and if you’ve heard anything, he wants you to hear this – he WILL be a Champion again, because he’s The Miz, and he’s…  AWWWWEEEEESSSOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEE!  Miz takes a huge bite of his stolen sub, as I ponder how much money Subway pays WWE to devote entire segments of RAW to their product, having been subjected to one of those in the past myself.

A limo is rolling up in the back.  Out steps Big Daddy Cool, Kevin Nash!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We’re reminded that Triple H, CM Punk, and Kevin Nash are all here, and then we’re shown Trace Adkins sitting in the crowd.

Holla, holla, holla

Eve and Kelly Kelly make their way to the ring.  I haven’t read spoilers, but I think it’s safe to say they’re taking on Beth Phoenix and Natalya.  I was wrong.  They’re taking on the Bella Twins.  I’ll put money on Beth and Natalya having something to do with this.

Kelly Kelly & Eve vs. The Bella Twins

I simply do not care.  Seriously.  FFW.  Kelly takes out one of the Bellas while Eve moonsaults the other one and it’s mercifully over.

Winners:  Kelly Kelly & Eve via pinfall

Ah, there’s Beth’s music.  And indeed, Natalya is with her.  Yes, the Divas of Doom.  Kevin Sullivan is very amused somewhere.

Up next, it’s Kevin Nash!  Seriously – Beth and Natalya came out, looked at Kelly and Eve, and we cut to a shot of Nash jackknifing Punk last night.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Justin Roberts puts over Kevin Nash’s accomplishments as he introduces him.  Nash comes out to no music, despite the fact that he HAS music.  Nash gets his mic, and we’re kicking off hour two just like hour one – with a promo!  He thanks Triple H for giving him the chance to explain.  He and Triple H have been close friends for close to 20 years.  H is the godfather to Nash’s son.  Last night, Nash asked if he could attend SummerSlam, and H left the tickets at will call.  Nash got a text right before the main event.  The text read “Hey big man, could you do me a favor.  No matter what happens in the main event, stick the winner for me.”  When a friend asks Nash to do something, he’ll do it.  It’s been a long time since he’d been in the ring, and he missed it.  The thrill he got at the Rumble, he’ll never forget.  Last night was business, pure and simple.  He got here tonight and found out that Triple H says he knew nothing about it.  Nash thinks he and Triple H need to get on the same page.  It’s just business.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R2vVZ0n-14[/youtube]

“Unfinished business,” ponders Good Ol’ JR.  Nash doesn’t look amused as CM Punk comes out to the stage.  Punk asks if Nash expects him to believe any of that.  Nash and Triple H are best friends.  Triple H is going to do what’s right for business, and Nash is just going to do whatever Triple H asks him to do.  He tells Nash that this is a rhetorical question: “If Triple H asked you to jump off of a bridge, would you?”  Punk thinks that would be good for business.  The fans apparently think so too.  Punk always had a suspicion  that Triple H doesn’t know what’s good for business, and he’s always heard that Kevin Nash doesn’t know what’s good for business, and the proof is here.  Nash has no idea what’s good business.  Nash retorts that this is the first time he and Punk have spoke, and Punk needs to watch his mouth.  Punk needs to watch his mouth?  Nash needs to watch the show, Punk does and says whatever he wants.  Nash said Punk’s world just changed.  The story Nash just told clearly points out that Triple H is a liar, but maybe Triple H is telling the truth.  Maybe Nash is the liar.  Nash asks if Punk would like to see the text message.  Punk asks if Nash would like to see the text his little sister Selene sent him last night.  “OMG Kevin Nash, WTF, thought he was dead LOL.”  The funny thing is, Selene is normally wrong, and here’s Nash live and in living color (not to be confused with Living Colour, of course).  It’s just Nash’s career that’s dead.  Nash being out here doesn’t so much piss Punk off, but what Nash did last night pissed him off.  Punk is pointing a lot of fingers and pissed off at a lot of people, but surprisingly, Alberto Del Rio is not one of them.  What he did, Punk’s done before.  What this all represents is that Triple H is the new COO.  He’s run amok and now he’s bringing his cronies back.  All Triple H did was shake things up around here, says Nash.  Punk says he’s the guy who shook things up around here.  Nash says that all Punk is, is a little “indyriffic,” little wannabe.  Punk’s been here 5 years?  He’s been in two main events?  Really?  He’s had the belt three times in 20 days?  Punk says that really hurts, coming from somebody who knows so much about being a main eventer.  The guy who said the legendary Eddie Guerrero was a “vanilla midget.”  What does Nash know about main event talent?  It’s 2011, not 1994.  Nash says that if you wanna go to 1996, he changed the business with Scott Hall and made sure that everybody, including guys like Punk, got guaranteed money.  Punk should be saying “thank you, Mr. Nash,” because as far as Nash is concerned, if this is where the business is right now, where some guy who looks like a short order cook from a Waffle House is a Champion, take a shower, hit the weights, get a clue.  Punk says he likes Waffle House.  He doesn’t know what Nash has against Waffle House, or against Punk, but last night Nash did something he shouldn’t have done.  It’s not good for business.  He put his hands on Punk.  Punk may look like a short order cook, and Nash may think he needs to hit the weights, but he’d rather walk into this company as CM Punk, and leave CM Punk than to show up somewhere as Oz or Vinnie Vegas, or Big Daddy Cool Diesel.  Enough talking, enough snarky comments, last night showed Punk that Nash wants a fight, and trust Punk, he’s not scared of a fight.  Does Nash wanna fight?  They can fight right now in San Diego.  Security blocks Punk’s path.  Nash smirks, and Punk is not surprised that the COO has deemed Nash untouchable.  It’s not Punk that put these security guards out here to stop Punk from kicking Nash’s ass.  If they’re watching Nash’s back, then Triple H is back there with nobody watching his, which means that maybe Punk will go find out from the COO himself.

Flashback:  June 20, 2010:  Rey Mysterio wins his second World Heavyweight Championship at Fatal Four Way.

Still to come, it’s Rey Mysterio challenging Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Nash knocks on Triple H’s door, but Hunter is nowhere to be found.  John Laurinaitis walks in and tells Nash if he’s looking for Hunter, he’s in a meeting with CM Punk.  Nash asks if Laurinaitis can believe the nerve of that kid.  Johnny Ace says that the way Punk spoke to him last night, or the way he spoke to Nash tonight, totally unacceptable.  Who does he think he is?  Ace says “it’s good to see you, Kevin.”  He’d like to talk to Nash about something important.  He wants to go somewhere more private to talk.  That was kinda creepy, Johnny Ace.  The way he said “It’s good to see you, Kevin,” there is no way I’d be following that guy anywhere.  Unless, I guess, I were Kevin Nash’s size.

Last Monday:  Alex Riley insults Vickie Guerrero, who interjects herself in the match and gets Dolph Ziggler punched into her.  Then she left without him.

Dolph and Vickie are bickering on commentary as Alex Riley makes his way to the ring for action.  His opponent tonight is The All-American American Jack Swagger.

Alex Riley vs. Jack Swagger

This match is more about Vickie and Dolph’s interaction on commentary than the actual match.  Ziggler is dressed like Don Johnson, BTW.  I actually can’t pay much attention to this match because these two are so distracting on commentary.   Riley hits a spinebuster after being on defense for most of the early part of the match.  Riley starts getting fired up, and Vickie steals JR’s hat.  She puts the hat on and A-Ry goes out after her.  Because he can’t stand when people where other people’s cowboy hats.  He covers Swagger in the ring, but Vickie distracts the referee by putting JR’s hat on his head.  Swagger hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb for the pinfall victory.  JR asks if his hat gets a payday.

Winner:  Jack Swagger by pinfall

Dolph stomps on JR’s hat after the match.  He says he thought Dolph was classier than that.  King says that Ziggler’s classy, but it’s all low.

Flashback:  Rey Mysterio defeated The Miz last month on RAW to become the WWE Champion

Still to come, Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie Guerrero is walking backstage, when Jack Swagger interrupts her.  He thanks her for her help.  She says she was just trying to prove to Dolph – Swagger cuts her off and says she doesn’t have to prove anything to Dolph.  She’s Vickie Guerrero.  She’s managed WWE and World Heavyweight Champions.  Edge was nothing without her, and Dolph would be nothing without her.  He says she looks tremendous.  She looks great, she’s a great manager.  Swagger says to look at the great managers of the past – Bobby Heenan (get well soon, Brain, we love you here at BWF), Freddy Blassie – they all had multiple clientele.  He’s just saying that maybe Vickie should think about expanding her roster.

Video:  SummerSlam Axxess

CM Punk walks into Triple H’s office, and Stephanie McMahon is in there.  She says she’s sorry about how he lost the title last night, even though he didn’t technically win.  She says that in the end, people always get what they deserve.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kofi Kingston is excited as he nearly leaps from the stage directly into the ring.  That’s how high he jumped during his entrance.  He’s in tag team action – and his partner could probably jump higher if he wanted to, because it’s Evan “Air” Bourne.  Their opponents are the WWE Tag Team Champions, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty.  As the champs make their entrance, Michael Cole reads a tweet from Shawn Michaels, which says “He got a text!! Dang, everything is technology now. I’m gonna text me a beatdown too somebody at RAW!!” (via @ShawnMichaels_), and ponders whether or not CM Punk was right about Triple H getting his buddies in on the action.

Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty

You can tell how important this match is.  The announcers can’t stop talking – about the CM Punk/John Cena/Triple H/Kevin Nash/Stephanie McMahon thing.  New rule for my reviews.  I’m not going to talk about the match until somebody on commentary does.  When they finally do, Otunga and McGillicutty are firmly in control of Evan Bourne.  They’ve cut the ring in half – Gorilla Monsoon would be proud.  Jerry Lawler is waiting for Otunga and McGillicutty to do something big.  King says it’s like the bland leading the bland, and I have to agree.  These guys have sucked the life out of the last two shows I’ve seen them on – and they’re facing two of the most exciting guys on the roster.  Bourne finally gets the tag to Kofi, and Kofi finally livens up this match.  Kingston gets a two count before Otunga breaks it up.  Kofi disposes of Otunga, McGillicutty dropkicks Kingston, who gets the blind tag in to Bourne, and within mere moments, Bourne nails the Shooting Star Press and picks up the victory for his team!

Winners:  Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston via pinfall

It was better than the match they had on SmackDown a couple weeks back, but I still think somebody needs to get these guys some personalities.

Rey Mysterio is putting his mask on, and his match is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Can we just go back to calling it the WWE Championship?  Please?

Ricardo Rodriguez!

Este es el hombre que ganó el 2011 WWE Royal Rumble. Él es el hombre que ganó el dinero RAW 2011 En el partido del Banco. Él es el hombre que la introducción deconfundir a la mierda siempre viva de Google Translate, cuando las escribo. Y, por supuesto, él es el imbécil que golpeaba a mi favorita estrella de la WWE anoche para el Campeonato de la WWE. Este hombre es de San Luis Potosí, México. Este hombre pesa 263 libras. Este hombre es el Campeón de la WWE. Este hombre es …Alberto Del Rio!

Del Rio is in another Ferrari.  Sweet looking car.  He milks the living hell out of his entrance, which is to be expected, considering where they are and who his challenger is…

Booyakah booyakah – whatever that means!

He’s dressed in blue and gold – San Diego Chargers colors, of course.  I’d say “what a suckup,” but CM Punk has worn Chicago Cubs inspired tights on several occasions in Chicago, so I guess it’s cool.

Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship

Should be another great match between these two.  There’s a couple of dynamics to think of going into this match, both of which have been pointed out by the announce team – the first is that Rey has the home field advantage, so to speak.  The second is that Rey was preparing for either CM Punk or John Cena, so how could that effect his strategy going in?  Mysterio nearly gets an early 619 in, but Del Rio bails and regroups on the ramp as we go to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Del Rio is trying to rip Rey’s mask off as he’s got him locked into a body scissors.  Rey turns the tide and gets Del Rio down in the corner.  Rey hobbles his way over to dropkick Del Rio in the face, but it doesn’t take long for Del Rio to turn the tide back.  Mysterio manages to cause more separation by hitting a tornado DDT out of the corner.  Mysterio picks up the pace – but his leg still seems to be bothering him.  Rey scores back to back near falls, but Del Rio takes control right back.  Del Rio goes back to the body scissors, and once again goes for the mask.  Rey fights out, and ducks out of the way of a charging Del Rio, who goes flying out of the ring.  Mysterio hits a dropkick to Del Rio through the ropes, then hits an Asai Moonsault.  Yes, I just used the proper name for a springboard moonsault to the floor.  Props to Ultimo Dragon!  Rey brings Del Rio back into the ring, then goes to the top rope.  He nails a seated senton, gets Del Rio set up for a 619, but Del Rio clotheslines Mysterio as he’s coming in for it.  Del Rio the aggressor, he charges in but catches a boot to the face.  Mysterio charges back but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Del Rio’s back to being the aggressor.  Del Rio hits a huge enziguri as Rey is sitting on the top rope, but only scores a two.  Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker, but Mysterio reverses it and grabs a two count.  Del Rio tries again, but Mysterio reverses it again, and manages to hit the 619!  Mysterio goes to the top rope, but Del Rio gets his knees up and manages to roll Mysterio up for the three count!

Winner and still WWE Champion:  Alberto Del Rio via pinfall

That was a pretty good match!  After the match, Del Rio kicks Mysterio.  He snaps Mysterio’s arm over the bottom rope, then slams it against the announce table.  He tosses Mysterio back into the ring and locks in the cross armbreaker.  John Cena runs to the ring and breaks it up.  Cena says he’s coming off one hell of a weekend.  Whoever saw SummerSlam knows that Cena’s got a bunch of reasons to be pissed off.  Could be Triple H, but no.  He’s pissed off at a scumbag like Alberto Del Rio.  After two guys left everything in the ring to give every single bit of integrity to the WWE Championship, what does Del Rio do?  He goes into business for himself.  He’s walking around with a big smile on his face and acting like he’s some sort of champion.  Del Rio is not a champion, he’s a target.  That gold Del Rio’s got his hands on, he’ll realize that holding on to that makes every single person he knows his enemy.  A guy like CM Punk earned the right to be called Champion.  Del Rio cashed in a briefcase and got lucky.  Here’s where he wakes up.  He’s going to have to eventually defend the WWE Championship, and if it’s against Cena, he ain’t gonna be so lucky.  He’s about to find out that his destiny is John Cena whipping his ass.

Post show thoughts & observations:

First thing I’ve noticed over the last two days is that the WWE Superstars are really stepping up their in ring game.  Well, for the most part.  Could it be because of the threat of ROH looming on the horizon?

Now, on to the Nash/Punk/Triple H thing.  Is it not painfully obvious that Stephanie McMahon got hold of Triple H’s phone and texted Nash during SummerSlam?  Or am I the only one who sees it?  I hang out with my wife as much as I’m able to, and my phone is usually readily accessible to her if she so chose to use it.  So what’s to stop Stephanie from getting Triple H’s phone and texting Kevin Nash with it?

Maybe I’m reading too much into this.  Oh well, whatever.  Another solid show from the E, so let’s see if the trend continues this Friday on SmackDown!

The post WWE RAW results 8/15/11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

SmackDown is taped in some city with a crappy hockey team.  Yes, Justin, I’m talking about the Flyers.  Triple H is here.  I know this because Tony Chimel just told me to welcome him.  Hunter does the Vince McMahon walk for a second, and my wife keeps talking to me, so let’s count how many times I’ll have to rewind to hear what he has to say.

Hunter is popular in Philly, the fans are chanting his name.  He’s had this job for about two weeks.  He’s in charge of the day-to-day operations of the WWE, and the more you try to fix things, the more screwed up they get.  A wise man once said you start at the top and work your way down, so we’re starting with the World Championship and the WWE Championship.  There’s two Champions on RAW, and they can both legitimately claim to be WWE Champion.  Hunter confirms that he’s got CM Punk resigned as of Monday night.  Which leads him to the World Championship…

GO!

Christian interrupts the new COO of the WWE and he’s still World Heavyweight Champion after a couple of weeks this time around.  Triple H doesn’t look happy about the interruption.  Christian wanted to come out as the face of SmackDown and congratulate Hunter on his new position.  Words can’t express how excited Christian is that HHH is in charge after the turmoil he’s dealt with from Teddy Long.  Christian babbles on about how bad Teddy Long is and how he didn’t want to get his lawyers involved but he had to.  Christian presumes that as the champion, Triple H would like to have a close working relationship with him.  Triple H says he doesn’t.  Vince McMahon encouraged people to interrupt him, but Vince has the patience of a Saint.  Triple H doesn’t.  Interrupting him, he’ll take as a slap in the face, and Christian knows that if you slap Triple H in the face, he’ll slap you back, and he can slap a lot harder than Christian can.  If there’s one thing he’s learned in the last 10 days it’s that he doesn’t like negotiations, meetings, and lawyers.  Triple H will tell Christian the way it is right now.  Orton gets his rematch at SummerSlam, and so Christian can’t complain about the officiating, there will be no disqualifications.  Christian vs. Orton in a no holds barred match.  Christian protests, but he’s interrupted by… R-Truth?!?

He’s back home, he likes home cooking.  He wants to pick up where he left off with Mr. H.  Everybody’s talking about titles, Triple H knows there’s a conspiracy against R-Truth.  He just wants to axe a question.  Triple H says to axe away.  Truth says he’s not axing nothing.  He’s telling Triple H that on Monday, the conspiracy better be straightened out.  Triple H says “What?”  Then he says that Truth will be in action tonight on SmackDown when he goes one on one with Randy Orton.  Christian offers advice, but Triple H has news for him too.  He brought somebody with him from RAW.  His name is John Morrison, and Christian will face him tonight.  Next, actually.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H is backstage walking with Teddy Long, and they run into Zack Ryder.  He’s got an idea.  Triple H cuts him off.  Triple H has to take a call, but he’s got an idea of his own.  Zack Ryder is Teddy Long’s new assistant.  Woo Woo Woo!

Christian vs. John Morrison

John Morrison is finally back!  I’m excited, I miss the guy’s unique Parkour inspired offense.  R-Truth is backstage watching on a monitor.  Morrison sends Christian reeling to the outside, but once Captain Charisma gets back in, he takes over.  He sends Morrison to the outside, but misses a suicide dive attempt.  Morrison hits one of his own, and we go to another…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Christian is in control when we come back.  He’s working over the injured neck of Morrison as the announcers ponder whether or not Morrison came back too soon.  He goes for a tornado DDT but Morrison shoves him off and starts to build momentum.  He goes for a slam but can’t get Christian up.  Morrison seems to have lost a step after not being in the ring for a couple months, a little ring rust.  Christian misses his outside of the ring punch thing, and Morrison hits some kind of flippy move that I’ve seen before but can’t place the name of.  Christian hits a spear and gains a two count.  Christian climbs the ropes but Morrison catches him.  Morrison backdrops Christian to the canvas, but Christian avoids Starship Pain.  Christian takes advantage, hitting the Killswitch for the victory!

Winner by pinfall:  Christian

Jinder Mahal is in a skybox watching the show with The Great Khali.  Whoopity Doo.

Later on tonight, Randy Orton takes on R-Truth

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Wade Barrett is already in the ring.  He wanted to come out and talk to us about why he left England to become a WWE Superstar.  He certainly didn’t do it to entertain people like you.  He wanted to make himself a lot of money.  Unfortunately, he’s lost track of that in the past 12 months.  That changed last week thanks to Daniel Bryan.  Bryan was strutting around with what should’ve been Barrett’s Money In The Bank briefcase.  The paycheck Bryan will get for wrestling in the main event at WrestleMania should’ve been his too.  Greed is terribly underrated.  Barrett says it doesn’t matter how far in over your head you might be…

KILL THE WABBIT, KILL THE WABBIT, KILL THE WABBIT!

Bryan says that originality isn’t Barrett’s strong suit.  Heath Slater said the same thing last week before Barrett made him tap out.  Barrett says there’s no comparison between him and Heath Slater.  Barrett is the one who brought the NXT Season 1 misfits to revolutionize RAW.  Bryan says that Barrett made Bryan disappear when he sensed a thread.  Bryan says he’ll main event WrestleMania.  Barrett punches him in the face.  He taunts him with the Money In The Bank briefcase, but Bryan uses the opportunity to lock in the Lebelle Lock, forcing Barrett to tap out.

Teddy Long and Zack Ryder are backstage, when Mark Henry comes to ask if Long took care of “that thing” he asked for.  Long says nobody wants to deal with Henry.  Ryder says he’ll find an opponent for Mark Henry.  Henry tells Long to thank his assistant.

Later tonight, the WWE Tag Team Championship is on the line as the Usos challenge the New Nexus!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Video:  Justin Gabriel’s South Africa homecoming.

Kaitlyn, AJ, and Natalya are already in the ring.  They’ll be facing Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, and Tamina.  Wait, when did Tamina turn heel again?

AJ, Kaitlyn, and Natalya vs. Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, and Tamina

Tamina and Natalya kick things off.  It’s a battle of power, a rare sight in a Diva’s match.  Tamina takes down Natalya and tags in the Rihanna look-alike Alicia Fox.  Natalya uses her power to stop Fox’s offense, and she tags in AJ.  AJ hits a headscissor takedown and a bunch of other Cruiserweight style moves.  Then the other Divas take each other out, AJ misses a splash, and Fox botches a Scissor Kick for the victory.

Winners by pinfall:  Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, and Tamina

Video:  Mark Henry takes out Big Show at Money In The Bank, then Kane on SmackDown.  If this were 5 years ago, he would’ve put the chair around their necks.

Mark Henry in action, next!

<COMMERICAL BREAK>

The World’s Strongest Man is on his way to the ring.  Who will his opponent be?  The suspense is killing me!  Ok, not really.  His opponent is…  not coming out.  He must be scared.  Oh wait, there’s some guy from Philadelphia.  Philadelphia?  Kill him Mark!  The guy’s name is Bobby Howard.  He turns to run away, but Ryder tells him it’s his big chance, that he’s got this.  This kid’s smaller than ESW Champion Brandon Thurston – and that dude’s smaller than I am, so that says a lot.

Mark Henry vs. Bobby Howard

Henry dwarfs this guy.  He grabs him by the throat and drops him to the canvas.  World’s Strongest Slam.  Twice.  Three times.  Mercifully, Henry pins him.

Winner by pinfall:  Mark Henry

Henry drags the kid over to the corner, then grabs a chair.  Just like he’s done to Big Show and Kane over the last couple of weeks.  Teddy Long’s music hits, and he tells Henry to stop.  Long can’t let him compete anymore.  Nobody wants to face him, and this isn’t helping.  Long doesn’t want another lawsuit…

TOO MANY LIMES!  TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus shows up, and he says that if Teddy Long is looking for a fella to fight Henry, Sheamus will do it.  Henry’s just big, and as he said, bigger isn’t better.  Sheamus tells an old Irish tale about somebody turning somebody into a 400 pound bag of crap, as he points at Mark Henry.  Henry says Sheamus talks too much.  Sheamus says SLAP!  Henry goes after Sheamus, who low bridges him and chases him away with the chair that Henry brought into the ring.  Sheamus dares him to get back into the ring.  Henry decides that discretion is the better part of valor.

Still to come, Randy Orton takes on R-Truth!

Up next, however, the Nexus defend the WWE Tag Team Championships against the Usos!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Two weeks ago, the Usos beat the New Nexus on Superstars.  Internet matches count?

The Usos are still knocking off Godsmack’s logo and Samoa Joe’s dancing shtick.  The Nexus have a new theme song, and they’re still being called the New Nexus for some reason.

David Otunga & Michael McGuillicutty vs. The Usos

The Usos take the early advantage.  Otunga doesn’t let that last long.  McGuillicutty gets a cheap shot in.  Man, this is not all that exciting, for a championship match.  Jey Uso picks up the pace when he gets tagged in.  He goes for a big splash, but Otunga points out Jimmy in the ring, causing the distraction for Jey for some reason.  Weird finish.

Winners by pinfall:  The New Nexus

Zack Ryder’s made another match for tonight.  Ezekiel Jackson vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.

Still to come, it’s Orton vs. Truth.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

RAW Rebound:   Rey Mysterio wins the WWE Championship.  Then he loses it to John Cena.  Then the real WWE Champion CM Punk shows up anyway, making the entire thing pointless.  Love the way they did the end of this package for Punk’s return though.

We’re reminded that CM Punk has resigned and that both he and Cena have a valid claim to being the WWE Champion.

Matt Striker is with R-Truth.  He asks about the match with Orton.  Truth says he feels good.  A good R-Truth is a bad R-Truth.  He’ll be like a bunch of eagles going after a snake.  He’ll step on Orton’s head and pull the Viper’s skin off.  The Viper gon’ get got.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  Already?

Two weeks ago, Ezekiel Jackson beat Ted DiBiase.  The Intercontinental Champion is here.  Wasn’t that the one title that Ahmed Johnson won when he was in WWE?  I’m just sayin’.  Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and the baggers are all here.  I want a bag to put over my head!  Booker T got one, but he’s not putting it on, despite Cole trying to convince him to do so.

Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson

This is one of those handicap matches where the team has to tag in and out.  Anybody remember when Cody Rhodes was Tyler Durden for a week there?  I’m still a little burnt out from that tag match earlier.  It just sucked all the energy out of this show.  Zeke gets Rhodes alone in the ring and puts him in a very poorly executed Torture Rack.  Rhodes goes for CrossRhodes but Jackson escapes.  The first time, anyway, as Rhodes hits it a few moments later for the win.

Winners by pinfall:  Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

Jinder Mahal babbles on about something from his luxury box.  You’re in America, idiot – even if it is Philadelphia  – speak American!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Truth shall set you free…

Get some music, dammit!

I hear voices in my head…

Wait a minute.  Isn’t that Truth’s gimmick?  Randy, give Truth your music.  You can have that old Mercy Drive song back.  “Voices” fits Truth’s gimmick better right now.  Speaking of which, Rev Theory was playing about 30 miles from here tonight.  I didn’t get to go.

R-Truth vs. Randy Orton

I had a long conversation on twitter last night with @robbyfischer, a BWF reader (and occasional contributor), and we talked about R-Truth very briefly.  I compared Truth’s current gimmick to Chris Jericho in WCW.  Which means that I don’t think he’s winning this match.  To my surprise, however, Truth controls this early.  I guess it’s the setup for Orton’s variation of the five moves of doom.  He tried one of them – the elevated DDT, but Truth broke that one up.  Truth is rolling into a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Orton is mounting a comeback as we call up, but Truth hits the Lie Detector for a two count.  Truth gets caught leaping from the top rope.  Orton hits a scoop powerslam (move 3), then the elevated DDT (4).  Orton goes out of the ring after Truth, who slams him back first into the apron.  He then thwacks Orton with a water bottle as Christian distracts the referee.  I dose off from this boring match, and Orton grabs a chair to nail Truth with.

Winner via disqualification:  R-Truth

Orton dismantles the announce table.  He nails Truth with the monitor.  Then he RKOs him on the table.  Orton teases Christian, but goes back after Truth instead, and drops him with another RKO on the announce table.

No offense to Orton and Truth.  They’re talented WWE Superstars and I always enjoy watching both of them.  It’s late, it’s hot, and I’m burnt from the tag match and Divas match.  Pretty decent show.  Goodnight kids.

The post SmackDown 7/29/11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Let the fallout from WrestleMania XXVII begin!  I know for a fact that Steve Austin and The Rock are confirmed for the show, and that Daniel Bryan will challenge Sheamus for the WWE United States Championship, unless they decide to bump it again.  I hear we’re supposed to go until 11:15 or later, so let’s get this review on the road – the road to WrestleMania XXVIII!

Wow – we’re killing time with the opening video tonight?  I’m surprised!  Opening pyro, too!  JR’s voice opens RAW!  Tonight we’ll see John Cena call out The Rock.  Jerry Lawler is alongside JR, and they’re just as excited as I am!

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H obviously didn’t die trying last night, so he’s here to kick things off on Monday Night RAW!  I’m using a lot of exclamation points tonight.  Can you tell I’m excited?!?  Good to see that a couple of the signs from ‘Mania survived and are in the house for RAW tonight.   The Game milks his time for all it’s worth before finally saying that this is the most tired and beat up he’s ever been in his life.  Last night, 71,000 fans in the Georgia Dome saw Triple H stand in the ring at WrestleMania against The Undertaker and his streak.  Triple H has gotta tell us, he’s never been a nervous or emotional guy, but he stood in that ring last night, and when that gong hit, and Undertaker came to the ring, Trips almost hyperventilated.  He’s never been that nervous.  He’s wrestled The Undertaker before, hell, even at WrestleMania, but never like this.  That undefeated streak has become everything to The Undertaker, and he’s willing to destroy himself to keep it in tact.  He hit Undertaker harder than he’s ever hit anybody.  He beat on him like no man he’s ever beat on in his entire life, and Undertaker kept getting up.  They both left everything they had in the ring last night.  Apparently it wasn’t good enough for Triple H.  He hears people talking about the match.  Call Undertaker what you want, but nobody’s ever been like The Undertaker.  What Triple H saw getting carried out on a stretcher was a man.  A man that is willing to destroy himself to keep that streak in tact.  A lot of people are talking about the fact that Undertaker got carted out, and that he is just a man, that he’ll never be the same.  A lot of people are saying he’s done, and he won’t be back.  If that’s the case, then Triple H wanted to come out and say one thing – Thank you, Dead Man.  Thank you.  Undertaker gave him the fight of his life, thank you.  Here’s the thing.  Triple H doesn’t believe Undertaker won’t be back, and when he’s back, The Game will be waiting.  Great opening promo from Triple H tonight.

JR hears that Michael Cole is going to challenge Jerry “The King” Lawler to a rematch.  King has his gear on just in case.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@JohnHexLives This show is going to be 75% talking. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin will be on RAW!

JR asks King about his match last night.  King was excited about wrestling…

Michael Cole is in his terrible orange singlet, and wants our attention.  Despite overwhelming odds, history was made at WrestleMania.  Despite biased refereeing from Steve Austin, Team Cole emerged victorious.  He overcame every obstacle to defeat Jerry Lawler.  When it was over, nobody was talking about The Rock, the streak, they were talking about Michael Cole.  The WWE Universe told him how he stole the show, and is now 1-0, undefeated at WrestleMania.  With Shawn Michaels inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, the WWE Universe will forever call Michael Cole “Mr. WrestleMania.”  King wants Cole’s attention.  He tells Cole to shut his piehole.  First of all, he didn’t beat anything, a computer beat Jerry Lawler.  Lawler made Cole tap out, and he was crying like a little girl.  In Cole’s record book, he may be the winner, but he’ll forever be known as a worthless jackass.  Cole says that’s cute.  He tells Lawler to get over it, he beat him.  Stone Cold manhandled Cole, and Lawler took advantage of it.  Cole says he’s the better man, and to prove it, he’s got a proposition for him.  How about Lawler have a rematch tonight.  Lawler can prove to the world that he’s still The King.  King says Cole’s on, let’s do it right now.  King takes his t-shirt off, and Cole saunters down to the ring.  Cole forgot one thing.  He’s not talking about a WrestleMania rematch – Cole’s already beaten The King.  He’s talking about a rematch from last Monday against Jack Swagger.

Swagger and Cole do pushups in the aisle, and we’re set for one on one action!

Jerry “The King” Lawler def. Jack Swagger via disqualification

Swagger backs King into the corner and starts throwing fists, but King reverses and gets Swagger in the corner.  King ducks a clothesline, and decks Swagger.  Swagger gets Lawler in the corner again and starts ramming him, but when he tries to do the same in the other corner, King moves out of the way.  The fans chant for Lawler, but Swagger takes over with a scoop slam.  He misses with a legdrop, however, and King throws a right hand.  The tide turns back into Swagger’s favor with a huge clothesline.  Swagger misses the Vader Bomb in the corner (I refuse to call it the Swagger Bomb), and Lawler takes back over, even hitting a vintage Lawler dropkick.  He climbs the ropes for the fist drop, but then opts to chase after Cole, whom he catches and starts wailing away on, only to find himself locked in the ankle lock by Swagger, forcing him to tap out.  Swagger refuses to release the hold, and the referee reverses his decision – Jack Swagger is disqualified!

Cole asks JR if he thinks it’s funny.  JR asks whose laughing.  Cole goes into the reconstructed Cole Mine, and finds JR’s Barbecue Sauce, which he squirts all over JR.  JR, pissed off now, chases Cole out of the arena.

Up next, it’s Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio to take on CM Punk and Cody Rhodes!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@willhernandez if this keeps up with michael cole i will give up on watching wrestling, this is annoying. #bwf #wwe #raw

Cole tells us that JR just got what he deserved for sitting in his seat.  Cole is in the Cole Mine, and we’re stuck with Josh Matthews and Booker T joining him on commentary.  If I wanted to watch SmackDown, I’d tune in on Friday Nights.

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD…

Dude, you might want to get that checked out…

BOOYAKAH BOOYAKAH!

What does that even mean?  Anybody?  Also, why didn’t Cody Rhodes try to take Rey Mysterio’s mask, like he said he was going to do?

Cody Rhodes’ “GROTESQUE” and “DISFIGURED” headline background follows Rhodes to RAW.  I like it.  Of course, with the introduction of his partner, IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!  CM Punk’s got a new New Nexus shirt on, so I guess we haven’t seen the last of them.

Randy Orton & Rey Mysterio def. Cody Rhodes & CM Punk

Rhodes and Orton start things off for their respective teams.  Orton takes advantage and wails away on Rhodes, but as Michael Cole points out, the shots can’t be that effective with Rhodes’ protective mask on.  Mysterio gets the tag, but Rhodes takes him down and starts trying to pull of his mask.  Mysterio regroups and takes Rhodes down, and returns the favor, trying to pull Rhodes’ mask off of him.  Cody scrambles to the outside, which makes this a perfect time for a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@JohnHexLives Cody Rhodes on tonight? And I thought this #RAW wouldn’t be entertaining. #WWE #BWF #PhantomofTheRing

Orton and Rhodes are legal when we come back.  Orton drops a knee – the injured knee – on Rhodes, but only gets a two.  He brings Rhodes back to the corner and allows Mysterio to tag in.  Mysterio drops the dime, but Rhodes kicks out.  Rhodes jaw jacks Mysterio, then tags in Punk, who looks at Orton while Rhodes does more damage.  A quick tag back out and Rhodes and Mysterio are legal again.  Orton gets the tag back in, and he and Rhodes battle back and forth.  Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, then allows himself to get distracted by Punk, which allows Rhodes to take over.  Punk goes after the injured knee of Orton, who kicks Punk off, only to get chop blocked by Rhodes.  Punk gets the tag back in, and he capitalizes on the injured leg.  Punk gets Orton up, but the Viper slithers out of the GTS.  Orton goes for the RKO, but Punk escapes and chop blocks Orton’s injured leg.  The advantage right now is for Rhodes and Punk, can they maintain it?  We’ll find out when we come back!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@JRosz78 #InPunkWeTrust #OneNationUnderPunk #RAW #BWF #MNBW (TSJ note – I think this is the first time we’ve ever used an all hashtag tweet in our reviews!)

Good to see these guys getting some time for this tag match.  Punk’s got Orton in a submission hold when we come back, but Orton starts to battle back.  Orton tries to get the tag, but Punk holds him off – momentarily.  Mysterio comes in and turns the tide right into his team’s favor with his high speed, high flying offense.  Mysterio goes for a kick to the face, but Punk ducked, and took control right back.  Mysterio gets caught up in the wrong corner, but Orton knocks Rhodes down on the apron.  Mysterio gets Punk set up, but before he can hit the 619, Rhodes hits a springboard knee to the face.  Punk tags Rhodes in, and Rhodes takes over, punishing Mysterio.  Punk and Rhodes double team Mysterio, who desperately needs to get a tag.  Mysterio manages to cause some separation on Punk, and he gets the tag to Orton, who takes over on Rhodes, who’d just been tagged in by Punk.  He nails the elevated DDT, and sets up for the RKO – but then he turns his attention to Punk.  Orton hits the Angle Slam, but only gets two before Punk breaks up the count.  Mysterio manages to get Punk out of the ring, Orton gets Rhodes set up in 619 position, Mysterio hits the 619, and Orton follows with an RKO, picking up the victory!

Still to come, John Cena calls out The Rock!

Stone Cold Steve Austin is walking backstage, when he’s met by Triple H.  Austin says he doesn’t know if it’ll ever happen again, but if it does, he’ll be there.  It was a helluva match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@willhernandez The Nexus is still a thing? It was only good with Wade Barrett. Now its just dull #BWF #WWE #RAW

Promo: Sin Cara is coming to the WWE – I thought he was supposed to debut tonight, but I guess I was wrong.

The glass shatters, and the Texas Rattlesnake makes his way to the ring as Michael Cole complains about him.  Cole says he thinks he might challenge The Undertaker next year.  Maybe Austin can referee that one too.  Stone Cold says “Oh hell yeah!”  We got Tough Enough premiering following RAW tonight.  If you’re ready for Tough Enough, give him a “Hell Yeah!”  He’s going to bring the Tough Enough kids out right now.  Booker T puts over “Miss USA.”  He says he doesn’t know about the kid with the afro though.   Austin asks how they’re all doing.  He’s got 14 men and women here, and they’ll put them through the paces with Bill DeMott, Booker T, and Trish Stratus.  They’ll open up a can of whoop-ass on these kids.  When Austin’s through with them, there will only be one.  He’s going to toss the mic around and let them introduce themselves.

First up is Ryan, he’s 23 from Louisville.

Next is Christina, and she’s a future WWE Diva.

Andy from Tampa

AJ was born to do this.

Ariana is the next WWE Diva.

Luke is from Auburn Maine, a future legend.

Jeremiah from Mississippi, representing the Dirty South.

Rima is Miss USA 2010 from Deerborne, MI

Michael says ain’t nobody tougher than him.

The blonde is from Puerto Rico to give the WWE fans what they want.  Apparently we don’t want to know your name.

Eric is from Southern California.

Matt is from Cleveland, OH.

Michelle is from North Carolina and says she’s good looking enough to be a Diva.

Martin is from Salt Lake City, and can’t wait to wrestle in front of the WWE Universe.

A “Stun them all” chant starts.

AWESOME! The WWE Champion, The Miz is here to save this segment!  He says that Austin is right.  Back when Miz was on Tough Enough, all he heard was “Go back to the Real World,” but after last night, nobody will ever tell The Miz where to go again.  Wanna talk about being tough enough?  Valor and determination?  Look at this.

Video: Miz suffers a concussion in his match with John Cena.

Last night, not only did Miz continue, he went on to retain the WWE Championship.  The fourteen of them can always dream – but The Miz just headlined WrestleMania and beat John Cena.  He’s the most must-see WWE Champion in history.  He’s the new face of the WWE.  Get a good hard look, soak it in, because this is the closest they’ll get to a WWE Championship.  Miz asks Austin if he wants to hold the WWE Championship too?  Is Austin thinking what Miz is thinking?  Does Austin have one more run?  Miz bets Austin thinks he’s tough enough.  The fans chant “one more match” – having been at Austin’s last match, I don’t like that idea.  Miz suggests we do that right now.  Austin looks at the belt, and he says to clear the ring.  The Tough Enough cast bails, and Miz takes a cheap shot, allowing A-Ry to get the jump on Austin.  Miz watches from the aisle as Austin turns the tide and stomps a mudhole in Riley.  Riley takes over, but gets hit with a Lou Thesz Press!  Austin drops the elbow, and waits for Riley to get up – STUNNER!  Austin gets beer from Mark Yeaton, and tosses them to the Tough Enough cast.  Austin toasts them all, and Tough Enough premieres tonight, immediately after RAW!  Austin goes over to the Cole Mine, and pours beer all over Michael Cole.

Still to come, John Cena calls out The Rock!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@TKeep123 Stone Cold with the Snookie-Press!!! Oh, wait….. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Justin Roberts introduces Ricardo Rodriguez, who in turn introduces Alberto Del Rio, who is walking into the Philips Arena tonight.  No expensive cars tonight.  Evan Bourne just magically appears in the ring, and is Del Rio’s opponent.

Alberto Del Rio def. Evan Bourne

It’s all Del Rio in the early going.  I wonder who is going to win this one – could it be the guy who actually got an entrance and has two guys (Brodus Clay came out after him) in his corner?  I bet it will be!  Del Rio is taking his frustrations out on Bourne.  Bourne manages to score a two count on a unique rollup, and another unique pinning combination scores him a second two count.  Bourne manages to flip himself to the top rope, but Del Rio managed to kick him down.  Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker and picks up the submission victory (despite the fact that Bourne was clearly close enough to get a foot on the ropes).

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@TKeep123 Evan Bourne up next against ADR, but he better fear…..Bordus Clay! #WWE #RAW #BWF

We’re still live in Atlanta, as the WWE has been for the past week.

Video: WrestleMania week

Michael Cole announces that he’s going to give Jerry Lawler his WrestleMania rematch in the art show during WrestleMania week next year.

“EXCUSE ME!”

Vickie Guerrero tells us that Snooki beat LayCool last night.  It’s all LayCool’s fault.  Dolph Ziggler had nothing to do with it, because he’s full of perfection.  For some reason, they bleeped “perfection.”  Guess that statement doesn’t apply to WWE censors as well as Ziggler.  Dolph congratulates John Morrison on his first big WrestleMania win.  Or maybe he should congratulate Snooki.  Dolph challenges Morrison and Trish Stratus to a match with himself and Vickie Guerrero.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Apparently, nobody has anything to tweet – at least not with our hashtag #BWF about this)

Looks like the challenge is accepted, because right after the break, John Morrison slo-mo’s his way to the ring.  Trish Stratus makes her entrance, and we’re set for mixed tag action!

John Morrison & Trish Stratus def. Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero

The men kick things off, but when Morrison took over, Ziggler tagged Vickie.  Trish has to come in, per the rules of the match.  Vickie fails at a cartwheel and winds up getting taken over for a two count.  Trish Matrixes out of the way of a Guerrero attack, and gets rolled up for two again.  Ziggler distracts the referee, and Guerrero takes advantage by pulling Trish’s hair.  Vickie misses with a legdrop, and Morrison gets tagged in.  Morrison gets the edge right away, but misses a springboard move.  Ziggler hits an impressive belly to back suplex.  Trish breaks up the pin attempt and slaps Ziggler, allowing Morrison to hit a Flying Chuck.  Morrison connects with Starship Pain, and Morrison and Stratus win for a second straight night.

Still to come, John Cena calls out The Rock.  I feel like I’ve typed that before.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

…

This bout, set for one fall, is for the United States Championship!

Sheamus has modified his ring gear to red white and blue – because he’s the Champion of the United States of America.  Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring, and we’re ready for a match we were supposed to have on WrestleMania but instead got a pointless promo from The Rock.

Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan to retain the United States Championship

It’s weird not seeing Sheamus in green, but it works for the gimmick he’s working right now.  He had gold when he won the WWE Championship, so why not red white and blue for the United States Championship?  Sheamus is dominating.  I mean that.  It’s all Sheamus.  Bryan hasn’t gotten any offense in at this point.  Sheamus locks in a submission hold, but Bryan counters.  He can’t capitalize, because when he tries to, Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker for two.  Bryan starts to fight back, and manages to score with a pair of kicks and a pair of clotheslines.  Bryan scores a two count off of a jumping kick – not a dropkick, mind you, he kind of jumped up and kicked Sheamus.  Bryan goes for the LeBelle Lock, but Sheamus escapes.  A Brogue Kick later, and Sheamus is still the United States Champion.

After the match, Sheamus assaults Bryan.  The lights go out and a new theme hits – IT’S SIN CARA!  He points at Sheamus, then charges down to the ring, diving over the top rope from the floor, then taking Sheamus down with a Hurricanrana, a dropkick, a kick to the head, and an extraordinary cross body from the top rope to the floor – you absolutely HAVE to see what I just saw!  I’m freakin’ impressed!  What’s this dude’s vertical leap?!?

John Cena calls out The Rock – NEXT!!!!!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@JohnHexLives Oh my God. Everyone has a Captain America suit. #Sheamus #WWE #RAW #BWF

@JohnHexLives Oh crap, Sin Cara is here. #WWE #RAW #BWF

John Cena, in his bright ass red shirt and his new video wall graphics that look like a Confederate flag, runs down to the ring.  I didn’t notice that last night, but after Justin Ruff pointed it out a couple articles ago, it’s impossible to miss it.  Cena gets the mic, and he says that there are a lot of people who are upset about a certain someone’s actions last night.  Cena would have to be pretty naive to have not expected it, because that someone put on their Twitter that they were coming to WrestleMania to whip some candy ass.  He didn’t think that this someone would decide the winner of the main event at WrestleMania, but if he didn’t the final moment of WrestleMania would’ve been a draw, and “that would’ve sucked donkeys.”  Cena won’t complain, he’ll congratulate The Miz.  It doesn’t matter how he did it – he walked in as the WWE Champion, and walked out the same.  He says Miz is still the most annoying person on the face of the earth, but he’s earned Cena’s respect.  Anyways, back to that “certain someone.”  After hearing him speak for so long, it’s obvious Cena hasn’t earned his respect, and that he doesn’t like Cena very much.  That someone is hear tonight.  He was supposed to be the guest host of WrestleMania but became involved in John Cena’s business, which means that they now have business of their own to settle right now.

IF YA SMELL… WHAT THE ROCK… IS COOKIN!

The Rock is here!  He’s in the same ring with John Cena!  This could get interesting!  The Rock wants to be direct with John Cena.  What did Cena think was going to happen?  He knew payback was coming.  Did The Rock talk trash about Cena?  Of course, it’s what he does.  Cena’s wrong about respect.  The Rock respects Cena, and knows what he’s done.  The Rock knows all about Cena, that he lives and breathes the WWE.  The Rock knows that.  He knows that it’s because of that drive that he’s become one of the greatest WWE Superstars of all time.  It doesn’t change the fact that The Rock doesn’t like him.  They’re completely opposite.  They look, talk, and fight different.  But they have one thing in common – they always want to do what they do better than anybody, period.  They’re very similar, except when they go shopping.  Rock shops at department stores, Cena obviously shops at Baby Gap.  Cena says “what do you know, fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy.”  Cena says that the time for talk is over.  Rock’s the People’s Champ, and to listen to the people.  People are standing to the ceiling, not to hear them talk, but to see them wrestle.  Not just a match.  A match where generations collide.  Only in the WWE would you be able to see Muhammed Ali and Mike Tyson in their primes.  Only in the WWE would you be able to see Michael Jordan one on one with Lebron James.  The match the fans want is John Cena vs. The Rock.  It’s obvious that it’s what they should do.  Does Rock wanna talk about it, or does he want to bring it?  Cena takes his shirt off and tosses it to the crowd.  Rock says that Cena has no idea what he just asked for.  The Rock will bring it – But they make history – they make the biggest matchup of all time.  On the Grandest Stage in the World – WrestleMania XXVIII – John Cena vs. The Rock.  It’s not just any matchup.  It’s gonna be The Rock, The People’s Champ, with the millions of the Rock’s fans.  John Cena vs. the People’s Champion – the People’s WrestleMania, if ya smell what The Rock is cookin’.  Rock extends a hand.  Cena accepts it.  We’ve got our main event for next year’s WrestleMania!

The Corre surround the ring, and they attack.  Gabriel and Barrett attack The Rock, Jackson and Slater attack Cena.  The Rock battles back, as does Cena.  Cena hits a 5 Knuckle Shuffle on Slater, and The Rock hits a spinebuster and drops the People’s Elbow on Wade Barrett.  Who did The Corre piss off to have the last two nights happen?  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Slater.  Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Barrett.  It’s a classic show of one-upsmanship.  Rock and Cena shake hands, and Cena heads backstage.  Rock, Cena, WrestleMania 28!

@Whovian_23 Your not a Marine Cena, you just played one in a shitty movie. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TKeep123 Amazing……#WWE cranks up the hype-machine for 2012 #Wrestlemania 28 nearly 1 FULL YEAR in ADVANCE ! RAW #BWF

My Thoughts: I’m not going to say anything about Cena/Rock right now other than the fact that there will be a special “A Minute With ThinkSoJoE” based solely on this.  Whether I record that tonight or tomorrow, well, I’m not sure just quite yet.  The one thing I’m taking away from tonight’s RAW outside of that is this:  Holy shit, what took them so long to sign Sin Cara?!?  That dude is amazing, and I just saw him for the first time for about a minute.

The post WWE RAW results – 4/4/11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Good:

-In their defense, the WWE had one purpose last night-Sell Wrestlemania. That part, I believe they did very well. I was ok with the Cole/Lawler build-up (and by the way, I love Cole’s Fortress). I do not like Grandmaster Sexay (or the Man Who Ate Brian Christopher or Ken Anderson’s fatter older brother or whoever that was), and I will pay the WWE money to never have him appear on my tv again. (I have the same agreement with them on Sean Waltman, Ashley Massaro and Hardcore Holly.) But they are selling the PPV. Cole and Lawler will be a nice chance to pop the crowd and let them settle down after seeing a major match like Triple-H/Taker or Edge/Del Rio. Plus, Lawler deserves his Wrestlemania match and putting him against Cole doesn’t hurt anybody. Also, when Austin gives his 9,000 stunners, it’ll be against Cole and maybe a few on Swagger. Austin won’t bury Swagger because he’s Austin. Austin will stun all kinds of people. He’s not beating them. That’s what the crowd wants to see.

I also liked the build-up for the Cena-Miz match AFTER a certain point. If you thought Cena was actually broadcasting from his home, I have some nice ocean-front property in Las Vegas for you. The room looked like a room in an arena backstage. Also, usually, they’ll say “Via satellite: [City he’s in].” That’s what makes it so dumb to actually think he wasn’t at the arena. It was so cheesy and so transparent, and Cena got to talk about how much better he was than The Rock because HE showed up at the arena. (And I don’t see what all the debate is over who paved the way into Hollywood. We all know it was Tor Johnson.) A lot of people hated the Miz turning the WWE logo upside down. I was ok with it. The part I liked the most was the fire that John Cena showed by attacking Alex Riley. Cena is going to put on an intense, focused face. I’ll take that John Cena. Just don’t give me SuperCena who makes poop jokes.

And then there was the Triple-H/Undertaker video package. That was (I think) the greatest video package I have ever seen the WWE do. They interviewed Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race (He looked like he lost a lot of weight. I said that to my wife, and she responded, “Yeah, he does.” My wife recognized Harley freakin’ Race. That is perhaps the sexiest thing she’s ever done.) and anybody who was anybody in the WWE. I got to see Arn Anderson, who is one of my all-time favorites, if not THE favorite. Any time I get to see Double-A, it’s automatically the greatest Raw ever. Plus, I forgot how good on the mic he was about cutting the cool, collective promo. I marked out for him, to be honest. I cannot echo enough times how good that video package was. I’ve never thought a non-title match should be a main event at Wrestlemania. Until now…

-So I’ve watched around 4 Raws in a row since giving it a try again. Used to if one was good in a 4-week period, we were happy. But I received 3 really solid Raws in a row. I’d forgotten how much I loved it. I’m even watching Smackdown! again. I’m beginning to have faith in the WWE again, which at one point, I had lost all faith in them.

Not-so-good:

-What’s up with Triple-H burying people? Did he go back to the Katie Vick era and say, “Yeah, that seemed to work?” He squashed Sheamus like bug and obliterated Ted DiBiase Jr. The only way this will work is for Ted Jr. to attack him during the WM27 match and cause Hunter to lose. The writing looks to be “on the wall” for Sheamus. I’m pretty sure he’ll be pinning AJ Styles or Doug Williams on Impact! in a matter of months.

-How does Abdullah the Butcher not get a video package? I know he didn’t wrestle for the WWF/E, but surely we can go through some old WCW libraries and find SOMETHING!!!!!!!! He has something to plug (his rib place in Atlanta). Give the man his true due.

For my complete blog where I talk about wrestling, MMA and anything else I’m inspired to, click here. To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

The post A Ruff State of the WWE 3-22-11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Note: The use of animated gifs will possibly take a minute or so to load in order to see the animations within.

1. Charlie Sheen (NR)

Ha ha… obviously not. This was too easy. Tiger blood and stuff. Best heel in Hollywood? Tweener?

Ok, for real this time. HAXOR!

Are you ready?

I said…

…. fuck that.

1. The Miz (2)

Really? I guess the fact that he lost Alex Riley in a steel cage match versus John Cena, and he looked strong over Cena to finish RAW was a significant shift in his character. His promo work was almost as good enough as well. Whether he gets to the level of the other two in the program, remains to be seen. I am shocked he made top spot, to be honest with you.

2. The Rock (NR)

I share TSJ’s annoyance that he didn’t show up in Buffalo this week, rather opting for the pretaped promo that aired on RAW. It was a good segment, and I did really enjoy it. Whether or not it was as good as his debut or not, I guess is debatable. However, the contrast between this and Cena’s retorts are miles apart. And, the way the Rock called him out for “rapping” at him… the disdain and emotion in his voice as he said this… wow!

3. Triple H (NR)

While I wasn’t thrilled with HHH throwing the entire roster and youth movement under the bus when he noted he was at a level beyond them all… nothing left to do. Yes, there is a kind of truth to that… but as Ron Simmons would say…
Regardless, HHH cut a promo that did help solidify the staredown between himself and the Deadman. Also, he managed to point to the WrestleMania sign at least three times during his promo!

4. John Cena (3)

Whether or not for the right reasons, or not… Cena remains very relevant in the plans for bringing in the buyrates for the WWE. His program with the Rock is likely the most talked about thing in professional wrestling. Last week’s RAW was quite a let down from the previous week, as Cena sunk back into his so-called usual PG self…. And had a steel cage match where he essentially sent A-Ri/A-Ry back to developmental.

5. Edge (1)

Edge holds tight in the poll due to his good work in all areas. As champion, he eliminated his biggest adversity in Vickie by having her fired due to Drew McIntyre’s loss to him on Smackdown. Now all he has to do is worry about Del Rio…?

6. CM Punk (5)

How the mighty have fallen! But realistically, Punk’s microphone skills were top notch on Monday. Other than that, he’s on simmer mode in his program with Orton and Nexus. He’s not going anywhere too soon, and in a place where he can rest a bit and yet further his storyline simultaneously.

7. Alberto Del Rio (4)

Del Rio is where he needs to be to stay strong after declaration of going after Edge.

8. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (NR)

The feud between Rhodes and Rey took a massive step two Smackdowns ago. Rhode’s dad, the son of a plumber, Dusty, helped his son take out Mysterio. Even more importantly, Cody demasked the lucha hero to children everywhere. Heeltastic!

9. Randall Keith Orton (NR)

When not punting skulls, Orton spends a lot of time redefining the role of heel/face. He’s finally made our list after a long absence with his role in the feud with CM Punk and the Nexus, beginning a series of matches where he will face each member of the Nexus to determine if any of them will be present at WrestleMania.

10. Jack Swagger (NR)

Swagger should be happy to be used after his abysmal plummet from the top to the bottom. Now as Michael Cole’s personal trainer, he adds the necessary punch to the Lawler/Cole program.

Fallen Out of Top 10 From Last Week (which equals no animated gif’s.):
John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, Drew McIntyre, Jeff Hardy, Christian

(last weeks standings)
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wonderful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, Smarks Anonymous, The Superplex, Wonderpod-Online, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com, Wrestling Nuggets and Wrestlespective. Follow the Power Poll voters on Twitter.

Interested In Becoming a Voter? Email DXDONMEGA@Gmail.com

I smoked some Charlie Sheen once…

The post Power Poll for the Week Ending: 03/02/11 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

1.  Firings, firings, firings.  First Dolph Ziggler, then Vickie Guerrero, now Alex Riley.  While they are only storyline fired, this just feels weird to have these guys just be taken off TV so close to Wrestlemania.

2.  Also gone, Michael McGuillicuty, who was punted back to developmental this week.  Man I guess it isn’t too good to be a season 2 NXT rookie.

3.  Why do I have a feeling that Nexus will be done after Wrestlemania?  With Randy Orton facing all of the other membersof Nexus in one on one matches where if they lost they are banned from ringside in the CM Punk vs. Randy Orton Match.  It just feels that after this is all said and done, Punk will be left standing alone.

4.  Number of time Wrestlemania was said during RAW this week: 75

5.  Michael Cole is being trained by Jack Swagger.  Well at least Swagger will have something to do for Wrestlemania.  However if Jerry Lawler taps out to Michael Cole’s ankle lock, I quit wrestling forever, I am done.  Also for that match is that Cole gets to pick a special referee, who it is I don’t know.  All I’ve heard is that it’ll be someone who has nothing to do with the feud itself.

6.  Triple H says that h’e gonna end Undertaker’s streak, Undertaker says that his streak will never end.  I guarantee you that one of these men is right though I am apt to believe that history will repeat itself.

7.  Cody Rhodes unmasked Rey Mysterio!  Awesome!   While I know Rey has like 8 million masks and probably won’t miss that one, it was still cool to see him be unmasked.  Plus Cody’s new psycho heel gimmick is pretty damn cool.

8.  I’ve never seen Mistico in action yet so I won’t have any opinions on him yet.

9.  Welcome back Evan Bourne even though it was at the expense of King Sheamus.

10.  Chris Jericho will be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars.  Um yeah, I ‘m not gonna watch.

11.  Finally The Rock has come back, to his living room.  No surprise that he cut a promo from his home in Los Angeles instead of being at RAW live.  He is only scheduled to for like 3 live RAW appearances and since he’s already been at one  and so much time left before Wrestlemania, this just makes sense (sorry JoE).

12.  Christian’s back!  Always good to see this.  If both him and Edge stay healthy, maybe we could see Edge vs. Christian for the World title after Wrestlemania.

Alright that’s all I’ve got for now, thanks again for reading and see you all next time.

The post Random Randomness appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Drowgoddess: Tyler Black? You mean ROH World Heavyweight Champion Tyler Black? He’s a good wrestler and all, but why would Vince sign him? He’s just not the sort that WWE even likes. He’s tall by indy standards, but he isn’t a big guy. He has never been known for talking, he’s actually pretty bad on the mic. He hasn’t got legions and legions of fans that will follow him everywhere, and even if he did, WWE disdains them. He’s a pro wrestler, not a sports entertainer. Why is Vince even looking at him, let alone signing him? Is it just because he’s the ROH champ, and Vince gets off on stealing another company’s champion? Seriously, why is Tyler Black being signed by WWE?

Drowgoddess’s Brother: Well, Vince really doesn’t have much of a choice. JR and Jim Cornette both kept saying for years that WWE really needed to focus on recruiting solid talent and actually positioning them to be future main eventers. It’s WWE, so they never really did, and now they’ve been caught with their pants down. Most of the main eventers they have are going to be done soon, whether they want to be or not. Who do they have to replace them? They’ve pushed some guys, yeah, but they really haven’t got anyone who has been presented to fans as a legit main event contender to guys like Orton and Cena. There’s a huge difference in pushing a guy and making him look like a true main eventer. Vince has to scramble to sign whoever he can now.

That last bit sparked a thought train. Whether you agree with the above statements or not, let’s look at the big main event WWE players now.

Edge: Has publicly stated that he wants to retire in two years or so, as well he should.

Chris Jericho: Has lots of non-wrestling options, and very well may decide to take them when his contract expires.

Undertaker: Does not have much left in the tank. Age gets us all in the end, and as iconic as The Dead Man is, he’ll be hanging up the boots sooner rather than later.

Kane: Has given the best mic work of his career, but he’s another one not getting any younger.

Triple H: Despite the fact that we all know that he will be doing what he wants in the ring for as long as he wants, the man recently had surgery and became a father for the third time. He’s in his 40s now, and even The Game’s body won’t last forever. He seems smart enough to get out while he’s on top.

Shawn Michaels: Retired, and rightly so.

Rey Mysterio: Is physically a shell of his former self. Sure, he’s hugely popular with kids and the Hispanic markets, but his battery is running out of juice.

The old guard just can’t realistically keep going forever. What will the new one look like? The next list covers “new” wrestlers who at some point in the recent past have gotten main event pushes, but for one reason or another, have simply not been presented as credible main eventers.

Sheamus: How and why Sheamus got in the main event scene doesn’t matter. He proved himself an absolute beast in the ring, and has gotten much better on the mic. “Fella” may be my new favorite catchphrase. He has also been one of the weakest champions ever. A guy who looks like Sheamus should not be the chickenshit heel. He doesn’t need to. Destroying guys like Jamie Noble was all well and good, but Sheamus needed victories that decisive over bigger-named stars. Clean victories over John Cena when Sheamus was first going for the World title would have made everything great. Apparently, that was not allowed. Why is Sheamus the only one visibly terrified of Nexus? The entire roster should react to Nexus as Sheamus did the other week when Wade Barrett told him that the truce was off. Sheamus has never looked credible as a main eventer, and it is not at all his fault.

Jack Swagger: His victory in the Money in the Bank match was completely out of nowhere. His run as champion was fantastic. He loses the title in a completely clean match against Rey Mysterio. Why? What good did that do? Supposedly, Rey wanted time off to deal with nagging injuries, and WWE essentially put the title on him so that he couldn’t have time off. Swagger was doing amazing work as the heel champ who knew how good he was, and proved in in the ring. His title run needed to be longer, with solid wins over bigger names, before a clean loss. Swagger was basically kicked back to square one.

CM Punk: We’ve all had this discussion before. Punk comes off a white-hot feud with Jeff Hardy, forcing one of the most popular stars in the business out of the company and holding on to the title. Then, out of nowhere and for no real reason, Undertaker shows up, makes Punk his bitch, and takes the title with no trouble. Had this feud been drawn out over a longer time period, it may have worked out well, but Punk lost the title on the second match. Ever since then, he has been nothing. Oh, but the Straight Edge Society is great, I hear you cry. Yes. Yes, it should be. The SES should be doing what Nexus is doing, and be in that position. Punk was the single most hated man on the WWE roster. Orton and Jericho and Edge get all the credit from most wrestling websites for being the greatest heels in the company, but they were never as reviled and despised as Punk. Had Punk been the guy leading the group trying to take over the company, awesomene3ss could have ensued. Instead, no one buys CM Punk as a legit main eventer.

MVP: His stop-start push killed any momentum that he had. While the original MVP persona was a complete heel, the babyface version could still have been something, as his popularity is tremendous.

Drew McIntyre: Little on this list is more outrageous than the destruction of Drew McIntyre’s push. The guy has everything: a great look, decent-to-good talking skills, an absolutely brutal moveset, and a sly ring psychology that no one else employs. That he was personally signed by Vince McMahon was great. That he referred to himself as “the Chosen One” and “Your future World Heavyweight Champion” was great. What was NOT at all great was when a monster like McIntyre was completely neutered by having Vince steal his heat. When McIntyre started going to Vince to get his match losses overturned, that was bad. When McIntyre started bringing notes from Vince to force Teddy Long to do his bidding (insert your own “Welcome Back Kotter” joke here), that was bad. Instead of letting McIntyre be a monster heel main eventer on his own and get his own heat by destroying popular babyfaces (a method which usually works very well), Vince decided that he wanted to be the real bad guy. People weren’t booing McIntyre for being a horrible person. They were booing Vince for helping McIntyre break the rules. What was the payoff here supposed to be? If McIntyre had been left alone, he would have been fine. Now, he’s viewed as nothing more than a Vince proxy.

Kofi Kingston: Kofi gets better all the time, but he won’t be allowed anywhere near the top title picture. The Intercontinental title is probably as high as he’ll climb. Much has been made of the idea that Vince needed a black babyface champion holding the second-highest title in the company in order to draw the black audience, and that may well be true. Kofi’s feud with Randy Orton, which should have rocketed him to main event status, was cut short because Orton had another tantrum about someone not him ruining a match by being slightly out of position for the RKO, and Kofi was done. Kofi could have been a true contender, but Orton, and through him, Vince, have seen to it that he won’t be.

John Morrison: Oh, John Morrison, what has happened to you? He seemed on the cusp of main eventer status several times, but hasn’t gotten there yet. His persona is better suited to being a heel, but popularity is popularity. Morrison is another one on whom the ball seems to have been dropped for no real reason. He almost reaches the point where he could get some clean wins over big names and enter the world title picture, and then someone in power says, “Oh, never mind.”

Wade Barrett (and anyone else in Nexus): Nexus has been made to look like complete losers ever since the initial beatdown. Super Cena is in large part responsible for this. When seven guys can’t get a clean win over one, that helps nobody. When one guy mocks and belittles a group of seven guys with no fear of retaliation, that helps nobody. I personally wanted to see the Nexus beatdowns consist of all seven guys hitting their finishers on a victim, and generally more than stomping. The pathetic ways in which the Nexus won their singles matches in previous weeks did not help them look legit at all. Much like Sheamus, this group does not need to be portrayed as chickenshit heels. If they are that green that they can’t wrestle convincing clean wins over big names, then they never should have been on tv in the first place. No one respects Nexus now. Thanks, Cena.

Who does that leave? The Miz? Everything seems to be going well for him, but if he does the same thing that everybody else has done with cashing in the Money in the Bank title shot, he’s going to fall flat. Alberto Del Rio? He just came in, and it’s too soon to tell. Dolph Ziggler? Not with the Vickie Guerrero angle holding him back. Clearly, WWE needs to create new main eventers in whom fans can actually believe, and soon. I’m fairly certain that Tyler Black will not be one of them.

Thoughts? Opinions? Comments? Complaints? Death threats? Worshipful adoration? Let’s hear ’em!

The post What Makes a Champion? appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Shawn Michaels was THE guy for me. Not Hulk Hogan. Not Ric Flair. Not even Steve Austin. But Shawn Michaels. He was that one guy growing up, that I knew would be my favourite, and that every time I heard ‘Sexy Boy’, I knew something fun and exciting was about to happen. Whether he was with Diesel, or D-Generation X. I was always entertained, and amazed, by HBK.

My…worship, of Shawn Michaels didnt just resort to the television. There were two video games in particular. WWF Steel Cage Challenge for the SEGA Master System, and WWF Royal Rumble for the Genesis. I don’t know how many times Shawn Michaels won the WWF Championship on these games, and it didn’t matter who else was on them, I was always the one character.

Everyone has that one person in the world that they idolize, that they worship. Whether it’s a family member, or a sportsman, or maybe someone in your favored profession? For me, besides family. There is only one idol. Shawn Michaels in my eyes, was someone who could do no wrong, even when he was the baddest. There was nothing he couldn’t do, in and out of the ring. He was brash, cocky, always so confident in his own ability, that he didnt even think of how good the other person was. In DX, he was cool. With Triple H, D-Generation X single-handedly fueled my love for the wrestling business. Partly for their attitude and behaviour towards everyone, but mostly, because Shawn Michaels was involved.

To this day, I still get giddy inside, whenever I see Shawn Michaels, or hear that ‘Sexy Boy’ theme. To watch his last match in 1998, before taking four years off. To that speech in 1997 about losing his smile. With all the returns and great moments that Shawn Michaels has had, nothing… nothing, has given me the same feeling that the end of WrestleMania XXVI gave me. I found it hard to move, hard to type, hard to do anything. It was like Pittsburgh fans watching Mario Lemieux’s last game, or Chicago Bulls fans watching Michael Jordan sink that final shot. You hoped it would never end, and when it did, you just didn’t know how to react. That’s how I felt about Shawn Michaels.

In my opinion, he will always be the greatest performer, and the greatest superstar in the history of wrestling. There will be no-one, who comes close to Shawn Michaels. There will be no-one, who comes close to winning me over, and making me a fan for life. The business may not be the same as it was, but I will always the great matches, and memories, that Shawn Michaels gave me. Thank You Shawn. You made this little wrestling fan who he is today.

The post What Shawn Michaels meant to me… appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Tune in, after the turn, for LIVE, unedited, uncensored, and Pro-HBK coverage of WrestleMania XXVI. Oh, and a quick note for Jack Korpela. Why do you have a job?

In the Pre-Show I get here, we have Jack Korpela and Scott Stanford. I have no idea who Stanford is, and Korpela is the usual Pre-Show host for Pay-Per-View events in these parts. The Pre-Match was a Battle Royal, containing Superstars that do not have a match on the card. The participants were: Yoshi Tatsu, Mark Henry, Cryme Tyme, Goldust, Santino Marella, Primo, Funaki, Jimmy Yang, Slam Master J, Chris Masters , Kozlov, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zach Ryder, Vance Archer, Mike Knox, Croft and Baretta, The Hart Dynasty and the Great Khali.

Yoshi Tatsu came out victorious.

In the words of Michael Buffer… Are You Ready? In the words of Triple H… I said, Are You Ready?

Welcome to WrestleMania XXVI, LIVE from the University of Phoenix Stadium, in Phoenix, Arizona. As some fighter jets fly by, Fantasia sings ‘America The Beautiful’. Fantasia? She looks nothing like Mickey Mouse.

The promo video for WrestleMania XXVI plays. Great video. Ah yes, good old Slim Jim, sponsoring another WWE Pay-Per-View. A touch of old school in that.

Michael Cole,Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler and Matt Striker provide commentary for the event. Sad to see J.R. not announce. Plus our good old Spanish buddies, Hugo and Savinovich and Carlos Cabrera.

MATCH#1: UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP

ShoMiz (Big Show/The Miz) (c) vs. John Morrison/R-Truth

Two former World Champions and two future World Champions to start us off.

Romania get WrestleMania LIVE for the first time… Aren’t they poor in Romania?

I predict ShoMiz to retain, as Morrison and Miz start off. The challengers gain control, until Big Show gets the tag into the match. Show heads to the ropes, looking for a splash, but Morrison knocks him down with a spin kick from the apron. Miz and Morrison back in, as JohnBoy gains the advantage, but misses with Starship Pain, and Show pulls his partner out of the ring, then sends R-Truth to the ring post. Miz looks for the Skull Crushing Finale, but is countered by Morrison into a rollup for a near fall. Big Show makes a blind tag, and KO’s Morrison with that right hand, to gain the victory.

YOUR WINNERS: Big Show and the Miz (1-0 prediction)

The announcers plug the events of the week leading up to WrestleMania, including Fan Axxess, an Art Show, a Reading challenge and a Pro-Am golf tournament.

MATCH#2: Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Cody’s music is very… generic. The crowd, and one particular friend of mine, goes nuts for Randy Orton. Orton to win here.

It looks to be 2-on-Orton at the early going, and RKO seems to be holding his own, sending Rhodes to the outside. But DiBiase soon gains control, and the Legacy beatdown begins. Is it just me, or does Cody Rhodes look skinnier than usual? The Randall beatdown continues, until a whip to the corner, triggers a fight back. This lasts all of five seconds, when a DiBiase clothesline knocks the Viper down. Here’s where the handicap aspect goes down, as a pinfall attempt by DiBiase, is broken up by Rhodes. Cody then goes for the pin himself, and DiBiase breaks it up. The two Legacy members start brawling, as Randy gets to his feet, and gains total momentum. Powerslam on DiBiase, Back Breaker to Rhodes. The crowd wants an RKO, but DiBiase grabs Orton’s legs, and sends him to the outside. Rhodes looks for an attack, but Orton moves, and Cody lands on Teddy.

DiBiase tries to enter the ring. Rhodes tries to enter the ring. Both are stopped by Randy, who hits his mid-rope DDT on both opponents at the same time. Ortn looks to RKO Rhodes, but backs away and hesitates. This leads to Randy Orton Scott Norwood-ing Cody’s head. DiBiase from behind, and locks in Dream Street, but Orton counters into the RKO, and gets the three.

YOUR WINNER: Randy Orton (2-0 Prediction)

WWE Superstars tell us to Don’t Try This At Home… They’re talking about Real-Timing WrestleMania

Josh Matthews builds it up like he’s interviewing Shawn Michaels, but instead it’s Vickie Guerrero and her team or two-dollar skanks. The twenty dollars is for Maryse. I expect change from the rest. Jillian Hall does her best Tina Turner, and everyone leaves, only for Santino Marella to arrive and plug Slim Jim, where anything can happen if you bite into one. He takes a bite, and Jillian turns into Mae Young. A second bite, and it’s ‘Mean’ Gene in a dress… a third bite, gets Santino Melina, and he seems happy. Happy with a Jack O’ Melina? Beggars can’t be choosers.

MATCH#3: MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger (in his best Kurt Angle get-up) vs. Shelton Benjamin (the only man to compete in every MITB match so far) vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler (wait, Mark Wahlberg’s in this match?) vs. Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre (coming out to Ziggler’s music for some reason) vs. Kane (I wish the lights would go out for Kane’s entrance again) vs. Christian (Has competed in three different types of Ladder matches at WrestleMania. Triangle Ladder, TLC, MITBx3)

My prediction… Christian. Why not?

This match has the potential to be one big clusterfuck, with all these people in the ring.

McIntyre goes a-climbing, only to be sent off by Hardy. Everyone tries to climb the ladder, and it ends with Kane giving Bourne a chokeslam, and Kingston knocking Hardy and Swagger off the ladder. Christian starts to climb, but it’s Ziggler who sends him off. Dolph Lundgren starts to climb, but MVP stops that.MVP, Shelton and Kofi try to take out Kane with the ladder, but it’s an MVP Big Boot that does the job. Shelton his PayDirt on MVP, and sends Kofi out, leaving him as the only one in the ring. Swagger pokes him off a ladder, with another ladder. Bourne comes flying at Swagger, as Christian and Hardy sandwich Swagger between one ladder, with two other ladders, as three men start to climb. Christian looks to deliver the Unprettier to Bourne, but Evan counters, and hits Air Bourne on Christian.

Bourne and Hardy now on the ladder. Matt hip tosses Evan off the top, and Swagger joins Hardy. The All-American American back drops the Hardy over one ladder, and onto another one, as Swagger crashes into a ladder as well. MVP and Shelton in the ring now. MVP looks for a Powerbomb, but Benjamin hurricanrana’s MVP over the top rope. Kane now the only man standing, but Ziggler climbs over Kane, to try and get the briefcase, but that doesnt work. Kane takes down Kofi, who tries to enter with a ladder. Then plays Pac-Man with the ladder, with Ziggler as the Pac-Dot. Kingston enters the ring, and hits Trouble In Paradise on Kane, as he picks up the now un-hinged ladder, and uses them as stilts, to climb up. McIntyre comes in, and ruins Kofi’s fun, as he sets up a ladder. Drew gets close, but Matt stops him. Hardy pushes the ladder over, and McIntyre wishbones himself on the top rope.

Matt Hardy goes up, but Kane has another ladder, and Christian uses it to climb up to Hardy’s ladder. Matt and Christian on one side of the two ladders, and Kane on the other. They send the Big Red Machine down, and brawl themselves, with Hardy connecting a Twist Of Fate on Christian off the ladder, and onto the floor. Christian however, is back up, and Swagger tries to stop him. He does this by sending the briefcase into Christian’s face, and after several seconds of trying to unhook it, he finally does meaning Swagger wins.

YOUR WINNER: Jack Swagger (2-1 Prediction)

A promo for the next Pay-Per-View event, Extreme Rules is shown.

Jerry Lawler wants Betty Wagner, Gorgeous George’s wife. She’s way too old for him.

A replay of the Hall Of Fame ceremony is shown. When Ted DiBiase let’s money rain, all is good. But when Pacman Jones does it, he gets in trouble?

Howard ‘the Fink’ Finkel introduces the Hall Of Fame class of 2010. The Hart Family (accepting for Stu Hart), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Betty Wagner (representing Gorgeous George) and ‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase

Kevin Rudolf’s ‘I Made It’ is one of the songs for WMXXVI.

A promo video for Sheamus/Triple H plays.

MATCH#4: Sheamus vs. Triple H

The commentators say that no-one has had a first year like Sheamus. Umm… did they forget Kurt Angle’s first year?

Trips gets the typical Trips pop. The entrance gets a huge pop, everything else, not so much.

My prediction… I cannot pick against Triple H. I just cannot, it’s not in my blood to pick against him.

Sheamus with nowhere near enough baby oil on, versus Triple H, the man with way too much baby oil on. The Game tries to catch Sheamus off guard with a Pedigree, but Sheamus is able to escape. Hunter with a suplex, followed by a crotch chop and a knee, bringing him a near fall. Helmsley with a chop block, which leads into the Figure Four Leg Lock, but it’s too close to the ropes, and Sheamus is able to get there without too much hassle. Sheamus rolls to the outside, and baits Hunter, sending the Game into the steps. This allows Sheamus to gain control, with an elbow, followed by a backbreaker… actually, make that two. The Celtic Warrior with knees to the head of the game, and takes control.

Triple H tries to fight back, but Sheamus connects with an Ax Handle, and gets a near fall. Sheamus with several punches to the head, and it brings another near fall. The Irishman connects with a PowerSlam, and a third near fall, before applying an arm lock, then switching to a Sleeper hold. HHH counters the hold into a back drop, and the sides look even once again. Helmsley with a few kicks in the corner, then counters Sheamus into a DDT. Hunter with punches, but ducks the head. Sheamus looks to counter, but he runs into a High Knee. Trips with a Facebuster, bringing him a near fall. The Game looks for the Pedigree, and Sheamus counters, so Helmsley counters a Sheamus attack into a neck breaker for a near fall.

Trips with punches in the corner, but Sheamus counters into the Razor’s Edghe, but Hunter counters into a Pedigree, and Sheamus counters that into the Big Boot, and Helmsley kicks out!! Sheamus channels Razor Ramon again, but HHH counters into a SpineBuster for a near fall. Sheamus connects with two boots to the head of the Game, and Sheamus thinks he has control, but The Game is playing possum, and hits the Pedigree for the victory.

YOUR WINNER: Triple H (3-1 Prediction)

Helmsley gets an ovation from the crowd, and an Edge Slim Jim commercial plays.

A promo video for CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

MATCH#5: CM Punk w/Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows/Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio

If Rey Mysterio loses, he must join the Straight Edge Society.

Rey wins, he isn’t joining the SES.

Punk cuts another golden promo, saying the 70,000+ in attendance take hallucinogenic drugs, and think that Rey Mysterio is a super hero.

Rey Rey takes a moment to enter, and his attire makes him look like he has a beak.

Mysterio heads up top, but Punk sends him in the Tree Of Woe. Punk looks for a baseball slide, but Mysterio moves up, and Punk wishbones himself on the tunbuckle post. Rey looks to jump on Punk from the apron, but CM Punk sends him to the ring steps instead. Punk with an assault, bringing a near fall, before applying a rest hold. Mysterio counters, nailing a seated senton, but Punk counters the Cross Body, and gets a two count. Punk goes for a Sunset Flip, but Mysterio rolls out and goes for a kick, but Punk ducks and goes for a roll-up and gets a near fall.

CM Punk goes for several pin attempts, and Mysterio kicks out of each one. Rey Rey gets a Springboard attack in out of nowhere, and Punk barely kicks out. Mysterio looks for 619, but Punk grabs him and goes for the GTS. Mysterio tries to escape, only for Punk to go for it again. Rey blocks a second time, and heads up top to channel Eddie Guerrero. Mysterio misses with the Frog Splash, and it leads to a near fall by Punk. CM Punk with a high knee in the corner, and then looks to attack, but Rey counters into an Arm Drag, setting Punk up for the 619. Serena gets in the way and stops the move. Gallows gets up on the other side, distracting Rey Rey, and Punk looks for the GTS. Mysterio counters with a Hurracanrana, and Punk crashes into Gallows, sending him flying, and allowing Mysterio to hit the 619 on Punk, and get the fall.

YOUR WINNER: Rey Mysterio (4-1 predcition)

We go straight to the promo video for Hart/McMahon.

MATCH#6: NO HOLDS BARRED

Vince McMahon vs. Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart

I wonder who’s gonna win… Bret. Easily.

Hart’s last two WM Matches, was the epic Submission match against Steve Austin at WrestleMania 13, and the Iron Man match against Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XII. No pressure or anything, Hitman.

Enter the McMahon. Vince McMahon. Notice how I didn’t write Mr. McMahon? That’s because I don’t want to. Vinnie Mac is on the mic. Vince says that Bret deserves a WrestleMania-sized screwing. Vinnie bought himself some Lumberjacks. The Hart Dynasty? The entire Hart family are now Lumberjacks for this match. I think Vince has spent his money a little too rashly. Striker loves this, Cole does not.Bruce Hart is Special Referee for this one.

Bret wonders if they all agreed to help Vince screw Bret. Bret Hart sees a double cross. Bret Hart knows a double cross. The Harts rang Bret and told him what was going on. The match finally begins.

Hart with right hands, before raking Vince against the ropes. Hitman stomps a mudhole in Vince in the corner, and McMahon rolls outside, right to the Hart Dynasty, who continue the beatdown on the outside.

“Best luck in your future endeavors, Natalya” – Matt Striker

DH and Tyson Kidd connect with the Hart Attack on the outside, with Kidd flying off the top rope. Bret now has Vince back in the ring, and the Hitman works on the leg of the Chairman. Vince tries to escape under the ring, but that doesn’t work, as the LumberHarts send Vinnie Mac back into the ring. Vince tries to strike Hart with a crowbar, but it ends up backfiring, as Bret introduces Vince to it. This match is as slow as I expected, as the Hitman looks to apply the Sharpshooter, but instead, Bret grabs the crowbar off of Tyson Kidd, and continues the attack.

Vince begs for mercy, as Bret teases the Sharpshooter again, before delivering a Low Blow. Hart lays the boots into Vince, as DH Smith hands the Hitman a chair. He decides to sit down, and take a time out, and let Vince get to his feet. Bret uses the chair, and full-on creams Vince with the chair, on two separate occasions. Hart just swings that chair as hard as he can, decimating McMahon with every blow. Hart then becomes more precise with the chair, working on the legs, weakening them for the Sharpshooter. The LumberHarts bang on the apron, cheering, for the Sharpshooter, and the Hitman locks it in, and Vince taps very, very quickly.

YOUR WINNER: Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart (5-1 Prediction)

“After 13 long years, Bret Hart spits in the face of Montreal.” – Michael Cole. He seriously said that.

The Hart Family celebrates in the ring together, as referees come to check on Vince.

Cole, Lawler and Striker reveal the location for WrestleMania XXVII… April 3, 2011, will be held in… Atlanta, GA. Whether or not it’s Badstreet, Atlanta, GA, has not been revealed yet.

ATTENDANCE: 72,219

The promo video, for the World Heavyweight Championship match plays.

MATCH#7: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge

Prediction.. Jerrrriccchhhoooo. I can’t stand Edge. Seriously, I cant.

Champion entrances. Always a good thing.

Both men grapple to gain the upper hand, and both men with a shoulder knockdown on the other. Edge with a face plant, and looking for the Spear, but Jericho avoids and heads outside. Edge sends Y2J in, but gets kicked as he tries to enter the ring. Jericho taunts in the ring, as Edge suffers on the outside. Jericho with a Gullotine on the Rated R superstar, and a knock down, brings Jericho a near fall.

“WrestleManian”? – WTF?? Michael Cole, seriously.

Jericho in full control, with shoulder attacks to the mid section of Edge, but ends up with his shoulder in the ring post. Edge with a spinning wheel kick on the Ayatollah of Rock ‘N Rollah, but Chris is able to regain momentum, with a suplex, hanging Edge on the top rope. Edge faceplants Jericho into the announce table, before coming off the apron and attacking the Champion.

Edge in control, countering Jericho, then heads up top and nail a Cross Body for a near fall. Jericho now looks for the Walls,  but Edge escapes. Edge to the second rope, nails a sunset flip for a near fall, and Jericho counters into a near fall of his own. Jericho looks for the CodeBreaker, but Edge blocks the hold. Edge looks for the Spear again, and counters it into the Walls Of Jericho. The Rated R superstar escapes the hold.

Both men try to gain the advantage again, until Jericho nails Edge with a boot, gaining a near fall. Jericho looks for momentum, but Edge counters into a DDT for a near fall. Jericho from the second rope, nailing Edge in the back of the head from the second rope. Jericho gets the smile on his face, and looks for the Spear? Edge counters, dropping Jericho with a Big Boot. Edge decides that he’ll go for the Spear, but Jericho counters it into the Code Breaker! Chris Jericho crawls over, and Edge barely kicks out at 2!! Jericho tries again, but only gets another two count.

Jericho takes a shot, kicking the Achilles of Edge, the same Achilles Edge  was out injured with. Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho again, and Edge is struggling. Jericho pulls Edge away from the ropes, and applies a Single Leg Crab. Lance Storm would be proud. Edge somehow makes it to the ropes, and counters for a near fall. Both men end up on the outside, with Jericho up first, and title hunting. Edge looks for a suplex from the apron, but Jericho hangs Edge up on the ropes, hitting the referee as well, and that allows Jericho to use the title belt as a weapon. Jericho looks for the cover again, and Edge kicks out!!

Jericho gets another CodeBreaker in, and finally gets the fall.

YOUR WINNER: Chris Jericho (6-1 Prediction)

Jericho is not done, as a post-match beatdown breaks out. Jericho looks to injure Edge again, but the Rated R superstar wants none of it. Edge strips down both announce tables, then runs from one to the other, and spears Jericho off the table, and through the barricade.

A recap of the Pre-Show Battle Royal shows, before our next match…groan.

MATCH#8: TEN DIVA TAG TEAM MATCH

Prediction…Vickie Guerrero. You really think she’ll lose?

Womens Champion Michelle McCool, Divas Champion Maryse Alicia Fox, Layla andVickie Guerrero vs. Eve Torres, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim and Beth Phoenix

Vickie is starting..?? She bullies Gail Kim, before the tag to Beth Phoenix is made. The face team take turns on attacking Vickie in their corner. Vickie screams at Kelly Kelly, but receives a boot and a nice Leg Drop for her troubles. the match is starting to fall apart. Mickie with a DDT on Michelle, and Maryse with the French Kiss are the highlights. It ends with Phoenix nailing Layla, leaving Guerrero and Beth in the ring. McCool nails Phoenix, then gives a pep talk to Guerrero. Michelle and Layla help up top and nail Kelly Kelly with a splash from the top, and after a clusterfuck of a pin, Vickie gets the fall.

YOUR WINNERS: Michelle McCool, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Layla and Vickie Guerrero (7-1 Prediction)

‘Be Yourself’ by Audioslave is one of the songs for WMXXVI

Promo video for the WWE Championship match

MATCH#9: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP

Batista (c) vs. John Cena

Soldiers stand on the entrance way, twirl their guns around, and march, and salute the fans. Cena’s music hits, the crowd goes nuts, and I go.. BOOOOOO!

Prediction… Batista. I hate John Cena with an absolute passion. Which probably means he’ll win now.

Here we go… WWE Championship. Crowd boo, as Batista wins the test of strength. Cena with mat wrestling? What the hell? Batista finally gains control, with a shot to the back of the head. Batista with stomps in the corner, followed by a facewash on Cena. Big Dave starts to work on the neck, but gets a suplex countered by Cena. Cena with a bulldog, and gets a near fall. Cena looks for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista counters it with a Gorilla Press, and gets a near fall. Dave with a kick to the face, gaining another near fall, then locks in a body scissors sleeper. John Cena powers up, and tries to escape. It looks like they’re dancing, as the two men trade blows. Batista ends the shots with a neck breaker, for another two count.

Batista with another sleeper hold, working on the neck that Cena broke in a match against Batista at SummerSlam of 2008. Cena tries to fight back, dropping Batista with a flying shoulder block, followed by a spinning powerbomb. John Cena looks for the 5-knuckle shuffle, but Batista counters into a Spine Buster. John Cena counters Batista, and locks in another shoddy STF. Batista makes the ropes, then spears Cena for a near fall. Batista looking for a superplex off the top rope, but Cena breaks out, and a test of strength occurs on the turnbuckle. John Cena punches Batista off onto the mat, and nails the five-knuckle shuffle off the top. Cena looks for the Attitude Adjustment, but Batista counters into the Batista Bomb! 1….2…. KICKOUT! John Cena kicks out!

Both men counter the other, until Cena finally hits the Attitude Adjustment! 1….2…KICKOUT! Batista kicks out. John Cena heads to the top rope again, but Batista gets countered into a Sit-Down Powerbomb. Batista went looking for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters it into the STF. Batista tries to power out, but taps out. See, I told you he’d win didn’t I?

YOUR WINNER: John Cena (7-2 Prediction)

The crowd cheers. Cena celebrates. I sit in disgust.

Another promo for Extreme Rules plays… and coming up… Main Event time. The match we all want to see.

Promo video plays for our Maaaaaaain Event.

MAIN EVENT: STREAK vs. CAREER

WIN BY PINFALL OR SUBMISSION ONLY

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The stipulation means that anything can happen, and anything goes. Will it be as big as last year’s masterpiece? Stay tuned, to find out!!

Prediction… I picked him last year, and I’ll do it again. Shawn Michaels. The young wrestling fan inside fan, won’t allow me to go any other way.

The Undertaker’s entrance… WOW! Just WOW! Rising up from the entrance way, wearing what could be described, as a modern look at what he used to wear, with the hood, the whole thing.

Let the match begin…

Undertaker goes the quick attack, but Michaels avoids it. This match is fast paced early. Michaels does his patented flip on the turnbuckle, and Taker hits snake eyes. Undertaker tries to go Old School, but HBK blocks it. Taker tries again, and connects with it this time. Shawn counters a chokeslam attempt, but the Undertaker still has control. Taker looking for a Tombstone, but HBK gets out of the hold, and tries to work on the arm and shoulder. Michaels gets out of an Undertaker attack, and looks for Sweet Chin Music, but the Deadman avoids it.

Michaels begins work on the knee of the Undertaker. The Deadman gets out, and clotheslines Michaels over the top. Back in the ring, and Shawn delivers a block to the knee, before looking for the Figure Four. Taker powers out, and sends HBK to the outside. Undertaker introduces the back of the Heartbreak Kid to the ring post, then hangs Michaels’ over the apron, then delivers a Leg Drop. ‘Taker enters the ring, and Michaels tackles him down, and applies the Figure Four. Undertaker is almost pinned, and this triggers a burst of power, turning the hold over, and putting the pressure on HBK, even if it was for just a second.

The two men trade shots, until HBK is able to get in his flying elbow. Michaels’ kips up, right into a chokeslam by the Undertaker, and it brings the Phenom a near fall. Shanw counters the Undertaker, and locks in the Ankle Lock, in the exact same way Kurt Angle locks it in. Undertaker kicks out of the hold, as both men struggle to their feet. Michaels clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope, then attempts a springboard splash, but Undertaker catches him, and delivers a Tombstone on the outside!

The doctors come to check on HBK, but Undertaker won’ allow them, and rolls him back into the ring, for a near fall. The Deadman looks to send Shawn Michaels on his Last Ride, and it looks like Michaels counters, and gets a near fall. Shawn to the top rope, and the Undertaker gets his knees up at the Macho Man elbow attempt. Both men down again, and Undertaker applies Hell’s Gate, only for HBK to counter it into a pin attempt and a near fall.

Shawn Michaels, from absolutely nowhere, nails Undertaker with Sweet Chin Music!! 1…..2…..KICKOUT!!! Undertaker kicks out!! Shawn looks for Sweet Chin Music again, but Undertaker blocks it, and nails the Last Ride!! 1…..2…KICKOUT!! Michaels kicks out. The Deadman thrown HBK outside, as Undertaker strips apart the Spanish announce table. How more old school can you get? Undertaker looks to Last Ride Michaels through the table, but Michaels counters it into Sweet Chin Music. Shawn now heads up to the top rope, with the Phenom laid out on the table. Michaels with a moonsault through the table, taking the Undertaker with him.

Michaels sends the Undertaker back in the ring, as both men pull themselves up. Michaels nails Sweet Chin Music once again. This has got to be over. 1…….2……WHAT? KICKOUT!!! Undertaker somehow, someway kicks out! Shawn Michaels does not know what to do, he tunes up the band and looks to connect for a fourth time, but Undertaker counters it into a chokeslam! Undertaker looks to finish off HBK with a Tombstone Piledriver, and he connects! 1…….2…..KICKOUT!!! Oh My God!! Shawn Michaels just kicked out of the Tombstone.

Undertaker drops the straps, looking for one last Tombstone Piledriver. He goes to cut the throat, but hesitates, as Michaels pulls himself up. Undertaker tells him to stay down, but Shawn cuts his throat, intimidating the Undertaker, then he slaps him in the face! Undertaker then delivers a jumping Tombstone Piledriver, and gets the three.

YOUR WINNER: The Undertaker (7-3 prediction)

In all honestly, as Undertaker makes it 18-0 at WrestleMania, my body has just gone into a state of shock. I grew up a Shawn Michaels fan. If it wasnt for Shawn Michaels, I dont know if’ I’d be a wrestling fan, and to sit here, and watch and recap Shawn Michaels’ last match, if it is indeed his last match, then… I can’t describe it, I’m still in shock. I’ll try and recover myself to finish off this recap.

Post-Match, Undertaker picks Shawn Michaels up, the crowd chants ‘Thank You, Shawn’, and the Undertaker shakes his hand. The Deadman leaves the ring, allowing Shawn Michaels to have the moment. Shawn salutes, and thanks the fans by blowing kisses. He thanks the Lord, and continues to thank the fans, shaking hands as he walks up the ramp way. The crowd do nothing but applaud, as Shawn Michaels signals to the heavens one last time.

OVERALL: Being able to watch Shawn Michaels’ last match, is something that will stay with me as long as I am a wrestling fan. In wrestling terms, Shawn Michaels was it. Not Hogan, Not Flair, Not Austin. But Shawn. The Main Event alone, is worth the money. But, Batista and John Cena put on a very good match. Otherwise, it just seemed to slow for the majority.

Thanks to all who watched, read, or will read in the future. I’ll be back…

The post WrestleMania XXVI – LIVE and in living colour. appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

SHABADOOO!

John Cena is curtain jerking tonight, as he’s the first person out for this match – which means he’ll be in one of these chambers awaiting his turn for at least five minutes.  WWE is going with the white ropes for this evening’s event, likely to contrast with the black Elimination Chamber structure.

It’s a new day…

Ted DiBiase will also be waiting his turn trapped in one of the bulletproof chambers.  He’s locked in, and..

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton enters the arena, staring a hole through Ted DiBiase, his Legacy protege, as he enters the ring and heads for his chamber.

It’s time to play the game…

Triple H will be the last man to be locked in a chamber to start the match.  He’s 4-for-5 in Elimination Chamber matches – can he make it 5-for-6?

SOS – I hear them shoutin’…

Kofi Kingston will start this match.  He looks over his shoulder on his way in – as you’ll recall, Edge jumped him as he entered the Elimination Chamber last year and took his spot in the match.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

The WWE Champion will join Kofi Kingston in starting off this matchup, putting the odds against Sheamus retaining.  He holds his belt over his head, and then in the face of all four men trapped in the chambers.  He hands the belt to referee Scott Armstrong, who shows off the prize at hand in this match.  The door is locked by the referees on the outside, and we’re set to go.

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match

Sheamus takes a shot at the Pump Kick right at the start of the match, but Kingston moves out of the way and takes control.  Kingston, for what it’s worth, has finally dropped the Jamaican colors and is rocking some new red tights.  Sheamus wrests control of this match away from Kingston, and the crowd starts to chant “RKO, RKO.”  Sheamus tries to toss Kingston onto the steel floor that surrounds the ring, but Kofi lands on his feet, then nails a slingshot cross body for a two.  The two men continue to battle, Sheamus getting the majority of the offense.  Sheamus is firmly in control when the randomizer goes off, releasing…

Entrant #3:  Triple H

The fans chant The Game’s name as he stands face to face with Sheamus.  The battle begins, and it doesn’t take long for Triple H to go on the offensive.  The Cerebral Assassin tosses Sheamus to the steel floor and tries to toss him face first into the steel chain wall, but Sheamus blocks.  His attempt to do the same to Triple H is subsequently blocked, and the two wind up back in the ring, exchanging counters until Triple H drops Sheamus with a DDT for a two count.  Kofi gets back into the fray, dropping Sheamus with a top rope clothesline, then Triple H with a normal clothesline.  Kingston gets on a roll, and hits a slingshot Boom Drop on Triple H out on the steel perimeter.  When he gets up, Sheamus clotheslines him down, scoring a two count.  Sheamus is again in control of the match when the randomizer begins again, releasing…

Entrant #4:  Randy Orton

Orton immediately takes control of this one, hitting anything that moves.  He scores a two count on Sheamus following a knee drop.  He dumps the Champion out of the ring, and slams him face first into the wall of chain three times, followed by three for The Game.  Orton continues to work on Sheamus and Triple H until Kingston nails all three from the top rope.  He tries to springboard back into the ring, but gets caught with an Orton dropkick, giving the Viper a two count.  He starts stomping away on Kingston until Triple H comes back in and takes the offense momentarily.  Orton catches Triple H with a powerslam as the fans once again chant “RKO, RKO.”  The Viper coils, going for the RKO, he’s shoved off into a Trouble in Paradise attempt, which he ducked, then tried for an RKO on Kingston, who shoves him into a Pedigree attempt by Triple H.  Orton backdrops his way out of it, and all four men are left lying when the countdown begins, releasing…

Entrant #5:  Ted DiBiase

DiBiase goes after Sheamus, then Kingston, then Triple H.  He glances at Randy Orton for a moment, then stomps Triple H before walking over to his mentor.  He helps Orton up, and the Legacy members go after Triple H and double team him.  They then turn their attention to Sheamus.  After taking Sheamus down, they stick Kingston’s head through the chain wall and choke him on it.  While his head is still stuck, DiBiase locks in a Boston Crab while Orton stomps away.  The pair then turn their attention once again to Triple H.  Orton hits his elevated DDT on Triple H on the steel floor, and Orton and DiBiase walk to the door of John Cena’s chamber, just as the countdown begins…

Entrant #6:  John Cena

Cena doesn’t let them get to him, taking them both down, hitting Orton with  the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, then DiBiase with the Throwback and the top rope rocker dropper.  He goes for the Attitude Adjustment on DiBiase, whom he uses to hit Orton, then drops DiBiase with the Attitude Adjustment right over the top rope and to the steel floor.  Orton tries to take control back, but Cena doesn’t let that last long.  He locks in the STF on DiBiase, who is saved by Randy Orton.  Orton gets ready to hit the RKO, but Cody Rhodes brings out a lead pipe, distracting Orton momentarily.  Orton goes for the RKO, but Cena reverses it into an Attitude Adjustment attempt.  DiBiase hit Orton with the lead pipe while he was up in the fireman’s carry position, then hits Cena with it.  DiBiase looks at both men, then covers Orton, pinning him.

Elimination:  Randy Orton by Ted DiBiase

Kingston hits the Trouble In Paradise on DiBiase, eliminating him.

Elimination:  Ted DiBiase by Kofi Kingston

Kingston gets hit with a Pump Kick by Sheamus, who then drops him with the Celtic Cross and pins him.

Elimination:  Kofi Kingston by Sheamus

Sheamus turns his attention to John Cena, hitting a running knee.  Sheamus tries to grab Cena, but Cena gets him up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus escapes, hitting a Uranage backbreaker on Cena for a two.  He ties Cena to the proverbial Tree of Woe, then starts driving his knee into the prone Cena.  He sits Cena up on the top rope and goes for the Celtic Cross, but Triple H comes back in and hits a low blow.  He nails The WWE Champion with a Pedigree, and gets the three count.

Elimination:  Sheamus by Triple H

Notice a pattern developing?  Every eliminator was the next to be eliminated.  If this trend continues, John Cena should win this match.  He sure as hell tries, locking in the STF on The Game.  Triple H tries to fight but it seems as though Cena is wearing him down.  The Game taps out!!

Elimination:  Triple H by John Cena

Winner and new WWE Champion:  John Cena

No chance…

The boss is here, look busy!  Mr. McMahon congratulates John Cena on going to WrestleMania – just as long as he can defend his title right now against this man…

I walk for miles inside this pit of danger…

The Animal, Batista, has grown himself a nice little beard over the last two days, and he’s got himself a WWE Championship match!

Batista def. John Cena to become the New WWE Champion

Batista told Cena he’d be in the ring with him again, just didn’t think it’d be this soon.  Cena takes a shot, but it just serves to anger The Animal, who drops Cena with a Spear and a Batista Bomb to win the WWE Championship and send Cena once again to the list of the shortest WWE Championship reigns.

Cena looks up at the WrestleMania XXVI sign in disbelief as Batista leaves with his newly won WWE Championship.  Cena looks frustrated as he leaves, continuing to look up at the WrestleMania sign, still shocked that his spot on the biggest WWE show of the year is possibly just a distant memory.

Video: WrestleMania XXVI

Recap: Bret Hart tries to walk away, but gets his leg broken.  Oh wait, I made that joke Friday night, didn’t I?

The following contest is for the Intercontinental Championship!  Tradition be damned, Drew McIntyre and his cool new entrance is out first for his title defense.  Kane makes his way to the ring, and we’ve got ourselves our third title match of the night.

Drew McIntyre def. Kane to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Kane starts off throwing punches, taking the offense early over the Intercontinental Champion.  McIntyre’s attempts at gaining any momentum prove to be futile, until he ducks a clothesline and starts going to work on Kane.  He goes after Kane’s knee first, and gaining the advantage, he goes after his arm.  As Matt Striker points out, if you take the knee out, he can’t fly off the top rope, and if you take out the arm, he can’t chokeslam you.  Kane causes some separation by powering McIntyre over the top rope and to the floor.  He telegraphs a backdrop, however, and McIntyre turns the tide right back into his favor.  McIntyre goes for the FutureShock, but Kane battles out via backdrop, and the pendulum of momentum begins to swing again.  Kane scores a two count off of a right hand to the face, followed by another two count off of a side slam.  Kane flies, nailing the top rope clothesline, then signals for the chokeslam.  McIntire avoids it, but Kane continues his offense as the action spills to the outside.  Kane gets McIntyre back in at 6 this time around, but the Intercontinental Champion seems to decide to leave.  Kane catches him up the aisle, and when the action gets back into the ring, McIntyre thumbs Kane in the eye out of view of the referee, then hits the FutureShock for the victory.

Backstage, Maryse runs into Gail Kim, and says something in French to her.  She says it means she’s looking forward to their match, and unlike the SmackDown Divas, they’re sexy, beautiful, and they’re smart.  Gail responds in French, telling Maryse that she knows she’d been trash talking her in French for the past few weeks.  Also, she’s going to beat her.

Video: Please, DO NOT Try this at home.

The following is the finals of the WWE Divas Championship Tournament.  Maryse is out first for this match.  Gail Kim heads down to the ring, and we’re all set to get to the end of this Divas Championship tournament.

EXCUSE ME!

Vickie Guerrero is tired of the RAW Divas comments about the SmackDown Divas.  Being the Diva that Vickie is, she knows that the most beautiful and competitive Divas are on SmackDown.  The crowd starts to get on her case.  Since she’s the only Diva with authority in this building, she’s postponing the Divas Championship match to a tag team match.  Gail and Maryse will team up to face SmackDown’s top two Divas, Michelle McCool and Layla.

Michelle McCool & Layla def. Gail Kim & Maryse

The story here, essentially, is that Maryse refuses to tag in.  Gail manages to hold her own, until Michelle McCool boots her off of the ropes and to the floor.  Layla tags in Michelle, and they hit a double baseball slide on Gail, McCool scoring a two count after rolling Gail Kim back in.  Michelle shows an aggressive side, but Gail Kim finally starts battling back.  Maryse calls for the tag, but then pie-faces Gail when she gets to the corner.  A Styles Clash Faith Breaker earns the victory for the Blue team.

After the match, Maryse gets in Gail Kim’s face, then hits her with the French Kiss, leaving her future opponent lying unconscious.

Video: WWE NXT starts This Tuesday!

Josh Matthews is still a tool, and he looks even more like a tool as he asks The Miz what he thinks of Daniel Bryan.  Miz brags about all the gold he’s holding, saying he’s the only person who can show Danial Bryan how to make it in the WWE.  He says that Bryan is a loser, just like the St. Louis Rams, but when Miz gets through with him, he’ll be a star.  MVP interrupts.  MVP agrees that personality does wonders for being a WWE Superstar.  He then brags about winning the tag match this past Monday on RAW.  That earned him a shot at the United States Championship – which is happening tonight!

William Regal is here, and he may go to RAW as a free agent, according to Michael Cole.  He says that this Tuesday, we’ll see the new evolution in WWE Television.  It will feature 8 rookies paired with 8 WWE pros, and he, as a man with a wealth of knowledge and experience, has been chosen to be one of the pros.  He’s got the most experience and tenure in the ring, and because of that he demands to be treated with respect.  He’s the model of professionalism, and each of those men can learn something from him.  In fact, so could all of us…

You think you know me…

The Rated R Superstar interrupts.  He gets in the ring, and says that he’s sorry, but he was back there listening to Regal drone on, and it’s like watching paint dry.  He thought he’d come out here and tell the WWE Universe something they may want to hear.  Three weeks ago he won the Royal Rumble.  He can choose to face either the WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion, and tomorrow night on RAW, he’ll make that decision.  But tonight, he’s here to do something else.  He then proceeds to spear Regal.

Promo video: WrestleMania XXVI is 35 days away!

The following contest is for the United States Championship – damn there’s a lot of title matches tonight!  Once again, damning tradition, the Champion, The Miz, is out first, and he’s accompanied by his tag team partner, The Big Show.   His opponent, MVP, is accompanied by the Kool-Aid Man… er… Mark Henry.

The Miz def. MVP to retain the WWE United States Championship

MVP is in control in the early going.  Miz mounts a comeback and hits a… well, an awesome move, sort of a reverse codebreaker, with MVP landing gut first across The Miz’s knees.  MVP manages to catch Miz in a small package for a two count.  MVP almost manages to steal a victory the same way he did on RAW, and then The Miz’s aggressive side comes out.  So much so, in fact, that the plug from my keyboard came out of the back of my computer.  Miz continues to maintain the offense, despite MVP’s attempts to mount a comeback.  Miz winds up crotched on the top rope, and this could be the turning point.  Miz avoids the superplex, but MVP springs back up and hits a belly to belly superplex.  Miz is busted open at this point.  Let’s see if he gets stitched up or not.  Apparently not – the pace quickens and MVP goes on the offense.  MVP hits the Ballin’ Elbow for a two count.  Big Show pulls The Miz out of the ring, out of harms way, but MVP goes after him.  Show sends Mark Henry charging through the security wall.  Back in the ring, Miz takes advantage of MVP missing a kick, and as the referee tries to pull The Miz off, Big Show hits the big right on MVP.  Miz quickly makes the cover and picks up the victory.

As soon as the match is over, the trainers hit the ring and stitch up The Miz, as The Big Show shows off Miz’s United States Championship.  Trainers start checking out MVP, as The Miz stands over him and gloats.

Earlier Tonight: Triple H tapped out to the STF, then Batista  beat Cena moments later to win the WWE Championship.

The sadistic structure known as the Elimination Chamber lowers, and we’re set for our final match of the evening.

Booyakah Booyakah, 619…

Rey Mysterio is the smallest guy in the match, but he has the advantage of being able to relax in one of the four chambers for at least a few moments before having to jump in and compete.

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…

John Morrison is walking quite alright for a guy with a bum ankle.  He’ll get a chance to rest that ankle for a few extra minutes while awaiting his turn to enter the fray.

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

No stranger to an Elimination Chamber, Chris Jericho is 0-for-5 in his appearances in the structure.

BONG… BONG… (and not the RVD kind)…

The Undertaker is on fire – literally.  His hat and jacket supposedly caught on fire on his way to the ring, but he threw them down and rushed to the ring.

All I ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled…

CM Punk is accompanied by the Straight Edge Society and a microphone.  He says that he hopes the symbolism isn’t lost on the four men in the chamber.  Here’s four extremely weak individuals who are locked every day inside a prison of addiction like most of the audience.  And now, the four of them are locked inside the Elimination Chamber with him.  Be sure, it’s not him locked in there with them, it’s them locked in there with him.  Tomorrow, when they’re nursing the pain and wounds that the Chamber and Punk have caused them, he wants to remind them that when their pod door opened, and he defeated them, don’t think of it as failure, think of it as Punks saving them, setting them free.  When they drown themselves in a pod of alcohol and prescription medication…

WHAT’S UP!

R-Truth will start this match off with CM Punk, but first, he’s going waste as much time as possible singing his stupid song.  The referee shows off the World Heavyweight Championship, and we’re set for our second Elimination Chamber matchup of the evening.

World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match

Truth and Punk battle back and forth, with Truth getting to show off his athleticism.  The Chamber comes into play as Truth slingshots Punk face first into it, and then face first into Rey Mysterio’s pod.  Truth climbs to the top rope and hits a rolling Senton off the top rope onto Punk.  Truth whips Punk into the Chamber wall twice more before getting back inside the perimeter of the ring.  Punk tries to mount a comeback, and ducks out of the way of a Truth Corkscrew.  He kicks Truth in the face, and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the pinfall…

Elimination: R-Truth by CM Punk

Punk gets the microphone and tells The Undertaker that he’d better pray his pod door opens last, or Punk will make him tap out again.  He tells Morrison that his decadent rock star life is wrong.  He invites us to place our hands on the screen and let CM Punk flow through you.  The countdown begins, and the randomizer chooses…

Entrant #3:  Rey Mysterio

Mysterio uses his quickness straight out of the box, attempting to get revenge on Punk for his Straight Edge Society’s brutal beatdown.  Punk avoids a 619, but when Punk goes for the Go 2 Sleep, Mysterio reverses into a Hurricanrana pin for a two.  Punk rolls to the outside, and Mysterio follows, Punk catches him trying to hit another hurricanrana, and swings him like a baseball bat into the wall of the Chamber.  Back within the ring ropes, Punk scores a two count.  Punk tosses Mysterio head first into the wall of the cell he’d come out of moments ago, but only scores a two.  Punk attempts a superplex, but Mysterio knocks him down and climbs to the top of his former cell.  Punk realizes Mysterio’s intent, and climbs up after him, setting him up for  top rope Go 2 Sleep, but Mysterio escapes and manages to crotch Punk on the top rope.  He hits a hurricanrana from the top rope, sending Punk crashing down on the steel floor.  Punk rolls back into the ring and Mysterio nails a slingshot splash for a pinfall…

Elimination:  CM Punk by Rey Mysterio

Entrant #4:  Chris Jericho

Jericho starts off strong against Mysterio.  He doesn’t follow up on his offense, and Mysterio takes advantage.  He hits a 619, but Jericho rolls out of the ring.  Mysterio clings to the wall like SpiderMan, but Jericho plays the Venom role and slams Mysterio face first into the steel floor.  Jericho uses the Chamber as a weapon, slamming Mysterio’s face into the wall.  Jericho beats down Mysterio, and takes a moment to tap on the glass of The Undertaker’s cell.  Jericho locks in a submission hold on Mysterio, who valiantly battles back.  The pace quickens, which works in Mysterio’s favor.  Mysterio locks in what Matt Striker calls a Dragon Sleeper, though it was kind of reversed.  Jericho gets out and locks Mysterio in the Walls of Jericho as the countdown starts…

Entrant #5:  John Morrison

Morrison knocks Jericho off of the Walls of Jericho, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t attack Mysterio as well.  Morrison rolls early on, but Jericho turns the tide.  Morrison climbs to the top, looking to take down Jericho, but Mysterio shoves him back first into the cell.  Jericho takes over, working on Mysterio.  Morrison takes them both down from the top rope and hits Mysterio with a standing moonsault for two.  Mysterio gets Morrison in line for the 619, but Jericho catches him with a torture rack style backbreaker and covers him for a two.  Jericho and Mysterio go back and forth, until Morrison nails Jericho.  Mysterio starts to go after Morrison, but when he goes for a top rope hurricanrana, Morrison hangs on, allowing Mysterio to crash and burn.  Morrison hits Starship Pain and scores the pinfall…

Elimination:  Rey Mysterio by John Morrison

Morrison loses his focus and finds himself locked in the Walls of Jericho as the countdown clock begins again, much to the delight of…

Entrant #6:  The Undertaker

The World Heavyweight Champion wastes no time wasting both of his opponents.  Undertaker goes for a chokeslam on Jericho, and then it becomes a double chokeslam attempt, which Jericho and Morrison break up.  The pair team up and go after the deadman, but once ‘Taker ends up outside of the ring ropes, Jericho goes for the running enziguri, but Morrison ducks.  He can’t maintain the advantage though, as Jericho backdrops him onto the steel floor.  Jericho goes and paintbrushes The Undertaker, which serves to anger the Champion.  Jericho tries to hide in one of the pods, but ‘Taker nearly rips it off the hinges and assaults Jericho.  As Jericho sits in the cell, Undertaker goes off on Morrision, but Morrison manages to nail a huge kick on The Undertaker, hurting his own ankle again in the process.  Morrison goes for Starship Pain, but ‘Taker gets his knees up.  Suddenly, Jericho is the only one on his feet, but The Undertaker sat up.  Jericho once again closes himself into a pod, and allows a groggy Undertaker to attack John Morrison.  Undertaker throws Morrison at the door that Jericho is hiding behind as the crowd chants “one more time.”  Undertaker goes for a Last Ride on Morrison on the steel floor, but Jericho attacks.  Morrison clings to the cage wall, and Jericho sends Undertaker crashing into one of the glass pods.  Morrison manages to pick up a two count on Jericho, but as he goes for a springboard move, The Undertaker grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him on the steel that surrounds the ring, which is enough to put the Shaman of Sexy away…

Elimination:  John Morrison by The Undertaker

The straps come down as The Undertaker glares across the ring at Chris Jericho, the only man standing between him and retaining his title.  Jericho runs right into a right hand by The Undertaker, who takes control until Jericho ducks out of the way of a charging Phenom.  Jericho nails a superplex, scoring a two count.  Jericho charges directly into a chokeslam attempt by The Undertaker, but he reverses it into the Walls of Jericho.  Undertaker attempts to reverse into the Hell’s Gate, but Jericho prevented the reversal and cinches in the hold.  Taker manages to escape the WAll,s and goes for the Hell’s Gate, but Jericho fights like hell to get to the ropes and out of the ring.  Taker sits up, and Jericho turns around into a Tombstone attempt – but he gets out and nails the Codebreaker!  Jericho crawls over to make the cover, and he gets a two count.  Jericho yells at The Undertaker to stay down before going back to work on the World Heavyweight Champion.  Undertaker catches Jericho with a Last Ride, but he collapses after delivering the move.  He finally gets back to his feet and calls for the Tombstone, when out from under the steel floor, Shawn Michaels appears and hits Sweet Chin Music on The Undertaker, watching as Jericho covers the Deadman for the victory.

Winner and New World Heavyweight Champion:  Chris Jericho

Shawn Michaels stands over a fallen Undertaker as the 2010 Elimination Chamber event comes to an end.

The post WWE Elimination Chamber 2010 results appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Yessir, we promised you a great main event tonight…

I don’t think “Burn It To The Ground” is an appropriate theme song for a show that features this much pyro.  King says that both Roday and Hill are guest hosting tonight.

Are you ready…

I'M READY!

The Unified Tag Team Champions, DX, are in action tonight!  Last week, Triple H said he was going to win the Royal Rumble.  That’s a bunch of crap – I’m going to win the Royal Rumble, dammit!

Triple H starts his spiel, but stops to ask where Hornswoggle is.  HBK says he sent him home, that this is serious.  Triple H asks if we’re going to go over this again.  HBK says if he goes to the Rumble and wins, he’s got a shot at The Undertaker.  Triple H knows how much it means to him, and HBK wants him to just once see things from his position.  He wants to end the streak.  Is that too much to ask?  Triple H says that the thing is, it is too much to ask.  It’s the Royal Rumble.  It’s serious.  DX have been running around telling jokes – but that’s all over now.  It’s about getting a shot at the title at WrestleMania.  If that’s not somebody’s goal, they shouldn’t be here.  Triple H knows how much HBK wants The Undertaker, but Triple H wants the title shot, and the main event at ‘Mania.  DX can throw 28 other guys over the top rope, but then it’s Triple H vs. HBK – and Triple H is letting him know that they’re friends, but if he has to step on HBK’s dreams to get to his, that’s what he’ll do.  HBK says he understands.

It’s a new day!

Legacy don’t get 10 minutes of mic time tonight, but they do get to be the opponents for DX tonight.

DX  def. Legacy

Triple H tries for the Pedigree early to no avail.  We’ve got breaking news about our RAW co-hosts coming up after this…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (Cody Rhodes is popular edition)>

@natty316 i have a feeling i’m going to sleep through Raw again lol

@WellYoureWrong It’s #TeamCody featuring Ted #wwe

@cjmyers86 #wwe ITS CODY!!! i want one for christmas…

@NiKiharu DAMN YOU CODY! STOP BEING SO CUTE!

Guess what the big news about our guest hosts is?  Did you say “James Roday isn’t here?”  Congratulations, you’ve been paying more attention than Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.  They actually have no idea why he’s not here, apparently.  Anyways, HBK is rolling, but DiBiase distracts him from the outside, allowing Rhodes to hit a surprise neckbreaker and get the tag in to Ted.  Legacy take control.  HBK gets the tag in to Triple H, and after a bit of infighting between the two DX members, HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on DiBiase for the victory.

DX high five after the match, though they don’t look happy about it.  This Friday, they’ll be on SmackDown to defend their tag titles against CM Punk and Luke Gallows.

This Thursday, John Cena will be on USA’s Psych.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@xsmootx #RAW  Hey, Jerry Lawler, you have a computer at ringside. LOOK IT UP! God, the home audience is more informed than the announcers. #BWF

@B_alpha_male  I really wish somebody NEW would win the rumble this year, #wwe #raw #bwf

@CT_FOX I wouldn’t be surprised if Punk/Gallows win Unified TagTeam belts on #Smackdown from #DX. It will accumulate their breakup #wwe #wrestling

@robbyfischer  CM Punk has a Disiciple now? Like Hogan did back in the day? No wonder Rock wants to clean this up! #bwf

@joep82 if there was a barber shop window near, i bet HHH would get thrown right through it! #raw #wwe  #bwf

Last Week: The Big Show knocked out MVP on behalf of The Miz.

MVP is here, and I kinda miss his tunnel entrance.  That was cool and fit his character.  MVP says that he needs to tell The Miz that he’s the United States Champion, and the problem is that MVP is the number one contender.  Miz can hide behind guest hosts, behind the Big Show, but he can’t keep running away.  Eventually he’ll have to defend the title against MVP, who will take it from him and become a 3 time US Champion, because he’s straight up ballin’!

The Miz has heard enough.  Straight up ballin’ huh?  What is that?  A euphemism for some unspeakable act MVP picked up during his time in jail?  Miz finds it shocking that MVP has been incarcerated and all these people accept him, but can’t stand Miz.  Miz is treated like an outcast, but while MVP was taking mugshots, Miz was a reality TV star.  While MVP was making license plates, Miz was becoming a bigger star than anybody in this building.  Maybe that’s why everybody hates him.  MVP says they don’t like him because he’s a jackass.  MVP says Miz wouldn’t be disliked in prison.  Everybody would like him and fight over him.  What kind of friendship do Miz and Big Show have?  Miz would love to come and have a US Title match right now.  MVP asks why he doesn’t.  Miz has a friend that wants to make a statement, since the Rumble match is in 6 days.  MVP should enjoy his match with The Big Show, while Miz enjoys being the United States Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

Well…. It’s the Big Show!

The Big Show makes his way to the ring, and we’ve got ourselves a match.

The Big Show def. MVP

Big Show makes short work of MVP – so short in fact, that I blinked and missed it.

Still to come: Mr. McMahon makes a decision on Bret Hart’s WWE future.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@AlyKat_730 Miz

@Saiyavenger  YAY HOMOPHOBIA~! God, I hope Miz beats the living hell out of him. #BWF

@Graelam Ballin’? I’m not a jackass, but I don’t get it either MVP… Maybe ur just an asshole #BWF

Backstage, Legacy are arguing with one another.  Randy Orton comes in and says the three of them get on the same page but then Ted and Cody lose to DX.  Not only that, where were they when Sheamus attacked him last week?  Maybe it’s because the Rumble is coming up.  Only one man can win the Rumble, and at the Rumble, Orton is going to win against Sheamus with, or without Legacy.

John Cena is backstage with Dule Hill.  Cena plugs his appearance on Psyche this week before wondering where Roday is.  Hill tells him – guess what – that Roday had an emergency appendectomy.  Cena says he’d call it a nothing operation, but he’s had one and feels for the guy.  Cena leaves and The Miz comes on.  He can’t believe that Cena got on the show and not him.  Hill tries to give him an excuse, but Miz tells him that he’s more famous than Hill and Roday put together.  Hill says he’s putting Miz in a match.  Miz says “really.”  Hill tells him that he’s not into doing two year old SNL bits (yeah. Screw NBC!).

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (Miz is Controversial edition)>

@SadieandSAFE  Ok, @MiketheMiz  is now a complete ass..not just an ass. BORING!!! #WWE  #BWF

@PrincessXtyne  so legacy was incredibly smexy tonight…so is the Miz…very nice fashion sense too!

@TCBWR MVP has gone to jail and we love him. Miz is Miz and he’s a loser.

@Jas0nVelez  Miz is awesome.

@Saiyavenger  Did Cena just say use “skulduggery” in a promo? This almost makes up for him being a total tool! #BWF

Maryse is here, and this is a semi-final match in the Divas Championship tournament.  Maryse says that for the other Divas, they’re wasting their time.  Her promo is interrupted by Dule Hill playing with the pyro.  She protests, and he says it was an accident.  She says she doesn’t accept his apology, he’s a loser.  Maryse then goes off on Hill in French.  Eve interrupts the argument, as she’ll be Maryse’s opponent tonight.http://boredwrestlingfan.com/wp-admin/post-new.php

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

Maryse dominates and picks up the victory with the French Kiss DDT to advance to the finals of the tournament.

Up Next: Mr. McMahon addresses Bret Hart

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@Freakofmmh press 1 for english

@kickoutblog CAUTION: Raw Divas wrestling

The boss is here!  Look busy!

Mr. McMahon gives us an economics lesson – you buy low, and you sell high.  He says that he sold Bret Hart down the river to WCW, and he was never seen nor heard from again.  He ponders if there’s a reason to bring Bret back.  The fans chant “We Want Bret.”  McMahon says to be careful what you ask for.  Bret Hart will never again appear in the WWE.  He’s a businessman.  He does what’s right for business.  The fans disagree.  McMahon says they must know more about business than he does, which must mean we’re in a building full of billionaires.  McMahon takes his case to the people.  One guy tells him that Bret will beat his ass.  Another kid says that he’s awesome.  McMahon says he wants a good business reason to bring him back.  He hasn’t heard one.  He’s built an empire.  There is no reason to bring Bret Hart back – he’s a part of the past.  Mr. McMahon is concerned with the present and the future, not the past.  He thanks the fans for their consideration and kindness – but he’s interrupted as he tries to leave.

SHABADOOOOOOOO!

John Cena makes his way down to the ring with a mic in hand.  Cena says he’s not here to change McMahon’s mind.  Cena never had a problem with McMahon until recently.  He called Bret Hart a flavorless piece of gum.  A few weeks ago at MSG, he treated Roddy Piper like garbage.  Cena says that McMahon’s successful and has an ugly jacket.  McMahon says it’s better than the orange crap Cena wears.  Cena says wardrobe aside, his problem is that McMahon only sees the Superstars as commodities, who as soon as they pass their prime, they’re gone.  Is that what he thinks of HBK?  The Undertaker?  Cena himself?  McMahon doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Cena says the only thing McMahon cares about is stuffing his pockets and feeding his ego.  He brought Bret back just to make sure everybody watching would see him kick Bret in the gut.  McMahon’s not a coward, he’s pathetic.  Cena says that next week, McMahon will invite Bret Hart to RAW.  He deserves a chance to confront McMahon.  If he doesn’t, he’ll prove to everybody that they’re nothing more than a commodity to line McMahon’s wallet, and feed his ego.  Cena says that on McMahon’s 90th birthday, he’ll lift him out of his wheelchair and knock his false teeth down his throat.  Cena’s not out here to change McMahon’s mind – it’s a situation where McMahon has to do the right thing.  Cena leaves, and McMahon stops him.  He says that he’ll invite Bret Hart back right here next week.  If he has the guts, he can step in the ring, and Mr. McMahon won’t even flinch.  Since Cena wants his presence to be felt tonight, he’ll be in action.  He’ll be facing a man who’s humbled him.  The WWE Champion, Sheamus!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@_MFS_ cena you already are a chewed up piece of bubblegum that’s lost it’s flavor, what are you talking about? #WWE #RAW  #BWF

@R_Swinny Vince is wearing a new suit?! I thought he only had one. Or a collection of the same suits, at least.

@vickylandry i like vinces suit

@TheHouseShow Heel vince > #wwe #raw roster

@Miss_Dani_Baby  I thought only @the_ironsheik did the humblings around these parts

The United States Champion is here – and he’s AWESOME!  He came to play, according to his new theme song, which is available on Amazon this Thursday.  His opponent tonight is – kind of surprisingly – Kofi Kingston!  An interesting note, I looked up at my screen, where I have the Sabres/Canucks game on in picture-in-picture, and for a second it looked like Thomas Vanek was on Kingston’s titantron video wall dealie.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz is rolling in this match, but MVP’s music hits, causing the distraction and allowing Kingston to pick up the victory.

Carlito takes Dule Hill into the production truck.  Carlito tells him that he should’ve found him in the first place, so that he could’ve shown him around.  Hill asks what all the buttons do.  The production guy tells him that it will put a graphic up for the matchups.  Hill has him bring up Carlito’s graphic.  He asks if he just punched in a random code if somebody else’s graphic would come up.  The production guy says it would.  Hill decides that he’ll put Carlito in a match – next – against whoever comes up.  Carlito protests, until Hill punches in a code and reveals Carlito’s opponent to be… Kelly Kelly!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@cutiebeeo6 Aww, poor carlito is about to get squashed by Kelly Kelly. You know your career is ending when…..

@stevenamoney That was an interesting way to make a match. Kinda different. #WWE #RAW

@prettyheartless Isn’t the random graphic generator how they always book matches for Raw?

Carlito is already in the ring.  Kelly Kelly looks nervous about the match, when Santino’s music interrupts.  He tells her not to worry.  He’s got the best of RAW 2009 DVD, which he looks stupid in a lot.  He’s going to make things different this year.  He’s going to take Kelly’s place, he’s going to defeat Carlito, and he’s going to win the Royal Rumble.  Jack Swagger attacks Santino from behind, and Carlito gets out of the ring as Swagger and Santino enter.  Swagger dumps Santino over the top rope and celebrates like he’d just won the Royal Rumble.  Swagger’s not done yet though, he slams Santino face first into the ring post, knocking him unconscious.

Still to come tonight, John Cena takes on Sheamus.

Well folks, it’s 10:30 PM, and that means it’s time for me to get ready for my real job.  Taking over tonight as BWF RAW guest host is a frequent contributor and huge fan of The Miz, @AlyKat_730!

Look who ya just can’t seem to get rid of! I’m back again with tonight’s RAW Review. Thanks for letting me back!

We come back from the commercial break with Jerry Lawler saying that Santino had to do something… Carried out of ringside, I believe, but I was listening to Fozzy’s Martyr No More in the background.  Insert a Royal Rumble package telling us about the Royal Rumble.  Go figure, right??

That package ends with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler talking about it to Skillet’s Hero.  I like both songs for the Royal Rumble this year.  They’re pretty good.  Anyway, Cole and Lawler tell us the rundown: The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship, and Sheamus vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.

John Cena and Dulé Hill are talking about the upcoming Psych episode and Cena’s upcoming match.  They’re talking about James Roday, and Cena called him on the phone apparently.  James Roday says that he’s upset he’s not there.  He makes a joke about Cena’s finisher and about Sheamus.  Then, Alicia Fox comes up, and says that Dulé is psychic.  She asks who is going to win the match tonight.  He says that he sees a Fox standing victorious and he’s going to be ringside for her match.  She says that’s good, because if he’s wrong… and then walks away.  Then they talk about what she could mean by that.  Dulé doesn’t seem to like the idea of Mark Henry removing his appendix “the hard way”.  And, another commercial.

We come back to Dulé Hill sitting ringside with Cole and Lawler.  Next up? The Diva’s Championship Tournament… The other semi-final match!! It’s Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox.  I’m not sure what happened in the match, because Gail’s outfit was very shiny, and I like shiny things, but I do know that Alicia’s fluffy hair is starting to come back and she and Dulé were makin faces at each other the entire time.  Dulé is afraid of what might happen, apparently… Anyway, Gail wins, with… some vicious-looking move.  So, it’ll be Gail Kim vs. Maryse for the Diva’s Championship.  Alicia gets mad, asking what happened to her victory, and stops in front of Dulé.  He tells her he’s just an actor and she slaps the hell out of him before storming away. At least Jerry was there to help Dulé to his feet.  They finally stop playing Alicia’s obnoxious music to tell us that, still to come is the WWE Champion Sheamus against John Cena!!

We come back to be reminded that next week, Bret Hart will be back on RAW to confront Vince McMahon, and William Shatner is the special guest host next week!! Not only did he induct Jerry Lawler into the Hall of Fame, but he’s famous for movie rolls… and Star Trek.

Anyway, here comes the Main Event!! Sheamus makes his way to the ring, as we’re reminded that he’s the first Irish-born WWE Champion and that he’s going against Randy Orton on Sunday.  Sheamus stands there, blinding us all, for a few minutes as the sound crew gets their gear together and actually plays Cena’s entrance.  We’re reminded, yet again, about Cena getting “emotional” for the return of Bret Hart.

The two lock up and just push each other back and forth for a minute or so before Sheamus gets Cena in the corner.  They stare at each other for a minute, then Cena gets Sheamus in the corner.  Both of them play to the crowd once they get out of the corner.  Sheamus goes for a clothesline, but Cena counters and hits Sheamus with a running bulldog.  He went for a cover, but Sheamus kicked out.  Sheamus got John down, dropped a knee on the back of his head, and cornered Cena again, beating him until the ref forces him off.  A suplex from Cena, then another cover, but Sheamus kicks out again.  Cena Irish-whips Sheamus, who Irish-whips him back and knocks him down.  Then Sheamus hits him with a suplex, and goes for the cover.  Cena kicks out at two.  Sheamus steps on Cena’s hand, then ‘punches’ him in the face.  Cena’s in the corner, and Sheamus punches him again.  He then Irish-whips Cena across the ring into the opposite turn buckle.  Sheamus goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two again.  Cena rolls to the apron for a break, but Sheamus is there, putting his boot in Cen’a face and pushing him down, moving at a two-count from the ref.  Cena gets between the top and middle rope, and Sheamus runs at him, his knee hitting Cena in the face.  Cena falls outside the ring, and the ref starts a 10-count.  Cena gets on the apron at six, and Sheamus tries the running knee again, but Cena blocks, then gets back in and goes for an Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters and hits Cena with a DDT, only for Cena to kick out.  Sheamus then lifts Cena and drops him, then puts him in a submission hold.  Cena starts to power out, pulling Sheamus’ arms out, then tries to hit the STF, but Sheamus kicks him out of the ring.  Sheamus climbs out as well, grabbing Cena and punching him before throwing him into the steel steps.  The ref tries to get Sheamus to come back in the ring, but Sheamus ignores him in favor of yelling at Cena to ‘stay down’.  Sheamus then climbs back in the ring and the ref begins the count.  Cena doesn’t start moving until 8, and gets into the ring right before the 10 count ends.  Sheamus looks pretty shocked.  He drops an elbow on Cena, but Sheamus hurt his elbow.  They start going back and forth again, with Cena gaining the momentum.  He gets set up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and hits it with success.  Sheamus comes up, and grabs him in the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters.  Sheamus goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out.

Just because that block paragraph probably is killing you, we’ll start another one here.  Sheamus glares at Cena, the crowd cheers for Cena.  Then, Sheamus goes for the kick, but apparently it didn’t quite catch him.  Cnea got Sheamus in the STF, but Sheamus grabbed the rope and rolled out when Cena let go.  Cena climbs out, and Sheamus hits him with the boot.  Sheamus rolls back in, and the count out starts again.  At nine, Randy Orton comes into the ring and hits Sheamus with the RKO.  Randy then stares at Sheamus, and Jerry mentions that it’s an obvious disqualification, but Randy’s being all twitchy and staring at Sheamus, so no one really cares what Jerry’s saying.  Cena’s struggling to get back in the ring, and manages to get between the top and middle rope.  Randy tries to get him, but Cena wiggles out and delivers the Attitude Adjustment to Randy Orton.  We’re shown a replay of ‘where John Cena took it’ from Sheamus, and then Orton’s RKO, and then Cena’s Attitude Adjustment… as if we hadn’t just seen it for ourselves.

Anyway, that’s it for RAW this week.  Thanks for letting me guest host, BWF!! It was loads of fun!

The post RAW results – 1/25/10 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Chris Jericho kicks things off, explaining WWE Bragging Rights, explaining that the main event will be a 7 on 7 tag match between RAW and SmackDown.  Jericho says he can choose whichever side he wants since he’s a Unified Tag Team Champion, but he’s been named the SmackDown team captain and plans to put together a great team.  Guest Host Nancy O’Dell interrupts and tells him that we don’t start RAW with him, we start it with DX.

BREAK IT DOWN!

Shawn Michaels and Triple H make their way out to the ring.  Or at least, Triple H does. Mark Eaton, the timekeeper, gets in the ring and does the running around Triple H bit.  The Game says we’re doing things differently tonight.  Are you ready?

For the thousands in attendance, the millions watching at home, and Shawn Michaels who’s not here.  He says he got a call from HBK, with whom he was going to set up the RAW team for Bragging Rights.  He could go ahead and make the team, but instead he’s going to be a true friend and call HBK at home and badger him.  HBK’s voicemail is a parody of his theme music.  HBK picks up.  Triple H and the DX Army want to know where he is.  He says his daughter got sick and he had to stay home.  He just put her to sleep and finished reading her a bedtime story.  Triple H asks if it was from the Unauthorized History of DX that’s on sale now, would he?  He says he wouldn’t read his daughter that crap… um… he means… he means that of course he read it!  Triple H says he reads it to his kids all the time.  HBK says goodbye to Indianapolis, and Triple H is then interrupted by Chris Jericho and The Big Show.  Jericho puts over SmackDown.  Triple H says SmackDown is a good show.  A very good show with a spineless GM that does whatever Vince says, it features a grumpy little troll who runs his mouth all the time (that’s Jericho), and it features great, great, wrestling.  Y’know, like The Great Khali.  Triple H says it’s nowhere near the league of RAW (Editor Note: He’s right.  It’s in a much much better league).  Jericho says that he’s going to take The Big Show for the SmackDown team despite the fact that he’s a RAW Superstar.  Triple H says that Jericho’s the boss, then makes a couple of gay jokes.  Show says that he and Jericho are equals, and Big Show carries the team.  Jericho asks him what he just said.  Show says he’s not the one who got pinned last week.  Jericho says he’s not the one who was the laughing stock of Sportscenter after being humiliated by Shaquille O’Neil.  Show says that at least he didn’t get punked out by a 200 Year Old fossil named Bob Barker.  Jericho says he’d face Barker anywhere in the world.  Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does, and he’s made The Big Show a champion.  He’s no longer known as the guy who got knocked out at WrlestleMania 24 by Floyd Mayweather.  Big Show tells Triple H he’s changed his mind and wants to be on the RAW team at Bragging Rights.  Triple H says it’s the greatest news he’s heard, but unfortunately they don’t have any spaces open.  He says he’ll do him a favor though.  He’s been given the authority to earn his slot on the RAW team.  All he’s got to do is win his match tonight.  Show says he can do it.  His opponent tonight is Chris Jericho.  Oh yeah, and that match is now.  The Tag Team Champions don’t look happy as Triple H leaves.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From some of our friends on Twitter:

@fozzyfan: They ruined a perfect opening of Raw by interrupting @IAmJericho for Triple Nose? Thumbs DOWN

@IAmJHPunk: How did HHH already talk to the guest host & get permission 2 make the match when he barely found out that Show wants 2 switch? #wwerawfail

The Big Show def. Chris Jericho

Big Show tries to calm Jericho down, but Jericho keeps slapping him.  Show slaps him off the top rope, and Jericho falls to the floor clutching his knee.  Show goes to help him up, and Jericho tries to sneak back into the ring before the 10 count.  Show prevents that from happening and gets back in the ring himself for the count out victory.

Maria Menudos is standing by with Legacy.  She asks how they’re doing and if they should be on team RAW at Bragging Rights.  They both think they should be.  There will be a triple threat match later tonight, and the winner will be on Team RAW.  It’s Rhodes vs. DiBiase vs. Cena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From the Twitterverse:

@leomc2: what a waste of 30 minutes that was #wwe #raw

@dasharpshooters: John Cena wants to qualify? dude is in a IRON MAN MATCH. #supercena #wwe #raw

The Indiana Pacers are in the house.  And The Diva’s Champion is here – out first for a title defense.  Tradition be damned.  Apparently, Mickie James’ challenger is Jillian.  How the hell did that happen?

Jillian Hall def. Mickie James to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion?!?

Um.  What?  Jillian just beat Mickie James to become the Diva’s Champion?  Mickie had her foot on the ropes, but I guess it counts.

From Twitter:  @SanzJohnson: since jill the new champ, hopefully she can get a new theme, outfit, and face! #WWE #RAW

Jillian decides to sing Lady GuyGuy’s song “Paparazzi.”  She’s interrupted by the sounds of Lenny Kravitz’ version of “American Woman,” which brings out Nancy O’Dell.  She made a major Diva’s trade over the weekend.  Jillian is still on RAW.  The bad news for her is that she has to defend her Diva’s Championship against RAW’s newest Diva right now.  She knows a thing or two about paparazzi… MELINA IS BACK ON RAW!  Jillian scrambles to put her belt around her waist before Melina gets to the ring.

Melina def. Jillian Hall to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion

Well, thanks for coming, Jillian.  I wonder why Mickie dropped the title?

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From Twitter: @BigD923: Thank you Melina, Jillian as Divas Champions would of sucked!!! #WWE #RAW

@steverechtman: Between Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menunos, this is some of the best mic work that the #WWE had had in a very long time. #Raw

Snoop Dogg is the guest host for next week’s RAW.

Triple H is talking to a cardboard cutout of HBK.  Actually, he’s talking to him on speaker phone.  Shawn’s music starts playing, and Hornswoggle comes out dressed like HBK!  Shawn says he’s not watching and he’s going into the living room to see what’s going on.  Triple H says it’s gimmick infringement, and Hornswoggle hits sweet shin music on the HBK cutout.  Triple H tries to save him, but Hornswoggle knocks The Game down and gives him a crotch chop.

Full details of the Diva trade will be available on WWE.com after RAW tonight

Santino is with Nancy O’Dell, who is the Sexy Superfan of the Month from WWE Magazine.  Santino does his best anchor work when Beth Phoenix comes in and shoves him out of the way.  She says that she heard she’s been traded to SmackDown.  Phoenix pretty much says she’ll kick O’Dell and Menoudos’ asses.  Santino says that Maria isn’t scared, she’d compete against Phoenix in some kind of match tonight.  Santino says it’s official while O’Dell tries to tell him it’s a bad idea.  Santino says he faked every “organism” with Beth Phoenix in the past.

Last Week: An Iron Man Match was made for Bragging Rights

From Twitter:  @DCsPeoplesChamp: Why do they keep Hornswaggle around?  #midgetfail

@WellYoureWrong: Okay, how drunk and or high do you have to be to sit through Cena Vs Orton for an Hour? #wwe

@ANDaniloTheRef: Beth to SD!? I can only imagine the Matches she could have against Natalya but, the Matches ain’t gonna happen. Damn Bikini Models! #WWE

WrestleMania 26 Tickets go on sale in 26 days.

Legacy make their way out for their triple threat match.  John Cena comes out and we’re ready for action.

John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase

The idea here is that Legacy are going to try and soften up Cena for his Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights, but they still want to win and get onto team RAW for Bragging Rights.  Orton came out and distracted Cena while he had DiBiase in an STF, and Rhodes rolled DiBiase up for the pinfall.

DiBiase isn’t thrilled with being pinned, and Orton tries to get them to calm down, and Nancy O’Dell makes a match for later tonight – Legacy vs. John Cena and Randy Orton.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From Twitter:

@HandsomeGenius: #Raw – The they could team Rhodes with Chavo Geurrero and keep the Legacy gimmick alive.  (This tweet is far-fetched.)

@johnnyz4282: So that was our first real match of the evening. Time, 10:13pm #wwe

@WellYoureWrong: I’m not a big Legacy fan but Cena didn’t win so, I approve.

The Indianapolis Colts are here, and we’ve got a Bragging Rights qualifying match set for one fall.  First, it’s the All-American American Jack Swagger, who has guaranteed he won’t lose a match for the rest of the year.  His opponent tonight is a former United States Champion, MVP!

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Swagger actually won this one pretty easily.  Impressive victory for the All-American American.

So far, team RAW is DX, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, and Jack Swagger.

Legacy are still arguing backstage.  Orton says he won’t team with Cena and he won’t let O’Dell tell him what to do.  He’s not going to let himself get tagged in, so it’ll be a handicapped match.  DiBiase says that Rhodes is thinking what it would mean to pin both DiBiase and Orton in one night.  Rhodes says that DiBiase is thinking that he can redeem himself by pinning Orton tonight.  Orton says if that’s what they’re thinking, they’d better keep thinking.

Kofi Kingston makes his way out for a Bragging Rights qualifier.  His opponent tonight is the high flying Evan Bourne.

Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From the Twitterverse:

@aemckay: Kofi Kingston vs Evan Bourne? Wow. This is going to be awesome.

@NekoEyes: Evan Bourne’s theme music is KA!

@MigotoShiShi: Evan Bourne looks like Cody Rhodes and The Miz’s love child…

Back from break, the match is underway.  A hard fought match, but Bourne gets caught with a Trouble In Paradise kick, giving Kofi the victory, and qualifiying him for Bragging Rights.

The RAW team is now Big Show, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, and Kofi Kingston.  Mark Henry and Chris Masters will have the final qualifier this Thursday on Superstars.

Triple H is still talking to Shawn Michaels when Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menoudos come in, shill the book, and ask if Maria is ready for her match tonight.  Chavo comes in and asks what’s up with Triple H and Hornswoggle.  He thinks it’s a conspiracy.  Triple H says he doesn’t like the troll anymore than Chavo does.  Chavo says he should be the captain of the RAW team.  Triple H has Menoudos kick him in the balls.  HBK says if you’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for you.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

From twitter:

@SanzJohnson: chavo isnt a stuntman anymore..he’s on crash test dummy level #WWE #RAW

@WellYoureWrong: If you wearing the PPV T-Shirt, You’re not going to be on said PPV. #wwe

@BradMilner: Poor Chavo … he’d give anything to be opening on Nitro again

It’s time for 6 Diva tag team action.  Beth Phoenix and her team (Alicia Fox and Roza Mendez) are already in the ring.  Their opponents are Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria Menoudos.  Before the match we get a sneak peek at Menoudos’ new movie, “Serial Buddies.”

Maria Menoudos, Kelly Kell, and Gail Kim def. Beth Phoenix, Alica Fox, and Rosa Mendez.

I stopped paying attention for a second and I missed the end of the match, but I know the faces won.

Later tonight, it’s Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase against Randy Orton and John Cena!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

As is customary on Monday Nights, I’ve got to take off and won’t be able to watch the RAW main event.  I’ll turn it over to this week’s BWF guest host, Drowgoddess.  Take it away, Drow!

Hi!

We get a recap of The Miz (and he’s awesome!) winning the US title from Kofi Kingston. Then we actually get The Miz, title and mic in hand. He tells us to show some respect to the new United States Champion. He asks if he’s bragging too much, and says to get used to it. At “Bragging Rights,” The US Champ from RAW faces the Intercontinental Champ from Smackdown, John Morrison. John Morrison was nothing more than a hairdo with abs. The Miz was the talent of their tag team. Morrison is the new Richard Simmons, who will wear bedazzled tank tops and hang out with 400-pound women while the Miz is the face of the biggest company in the world. Any promo by The Miz is, of course, AWESOME!

Cole and Lawler run down the matches from Smackdown that will be on the ppv card, then push the Cena/Orton 60-minute Iron man match.

Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Legacy: Orton enters first. We go to commercial. When we return, Legacy is already in the ring. Orton has the mic, and says that he just got off the phone with Snoop Dogg, next week’s guest host. Snoop agreed that since it may be Cena’s last RAW, Cena will compete in one of the biggest matches of his career next Monday night. Cena enters, and the roof is blown off. Orton jumps down off the apron and stares at Cena. Legacy bicker in their corner before DiBiase and Cena lock up. Actual mat grappling for a bit. DiBiase drives Cena into the corner with kicks and punches, and Rhodes wrenches Cena’s neck. Legacy double-teams Cena. DiBiase and Cena again. Punches fly. Rhodes locks in a variation of the Camel Clutch on Cena. After this match, we will learn who Cena’s opponent next week is. Rhodes works the submission holds, but Cena stands and plants Rhodes. Cena tags Orton in when Orton glances down, and Cena stays far away from Orton. Orton has to wrestle Rhodes, and Rhodes tries to pin Orton! Cena loves it, and Orton is surprised. DiBiase tags in and tries to pin Orton repeatedly. Orton tags Cena in, and they make constipated faces at each other. Cena lays out DiBiase, and prepares for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton tags in right then. DiBiase tags in, and pins Orton! Orton is livid and stunned. Cena waits for Orton, and hits him with the Attitude Adjustment when he finally turns around.

Winners: Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. pinned Randy Orton)

The huge announcement of John Cena’s opponent for his possible last match ever on RAW? Triple H. No, really, it is.

Peace out!

(P.S. from ThinkSoJoE – thanks to all of you from the Twitterverse who kept me entertained through this show!)

The post RAW review 10/12/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Lillian kicks off the show by introducing Mr. McMahon, who comes out to the stage with a microphone in hand.  If Trump still owned RAW, we’d be commercial free, and the fans would get a refund.  He’s wondering if they want him to do the same thing.  As far as the commercial free stuff, he can’t do that, he’s gotta make some money.  As far as giving the fans money back tonight, he can do that – but he’s not.  Blame Donald Trump for all that crap.  Trump has also done a 15 superstar trade between SmackDown, ECW, and RAW.   There’s also going to be a weekly guest host who has the authority of a general manager.  It could be anybody.  Mr. McMahon has decided who tonight’s host will be.  He’ll shake things up VKM style – the guest host tonight is… THE ANIMAL, BATISTA!

Batista comes out in a suit with his arm braced up.  He says he’s excited and we’ll have some fun tonight.  We’ll have a four man Night of Champions tournament to see who faces Orton for the WWE Championship at Night of Champions.  The men in the match are The Miz, John Cena, MVP, and Triple H.  Batista wasn’t going to do the guest host thing at first, because he’s not a guest host, he’s a fighter.

I hear voices in my head…

Legacy stand at the top of the stage, and Orton tells Batista he shouldn’t have come back.  What exactly is stopping them from coming to the ring and tearing the rest of him apart.  Batista says nothing, except that if he even looks at Batista the wrong way, he’ll fire all three of them.  Anyways, he didn’t want to come back until he was ready to fight, but Vince told him he’d have unlimited power.  He could do anything he wants, which means he can make Orton’s life a living nightmare.  Orton reminds Batista that his life already is a nightmare.  He barely survived Three Stages of Hell last night.  He got hit with a sledgehammer and can barely walk.   Batista’s not going to make Orton defend the title, but he does need to worry about that trade that Mr. McMahon alluded to earlier.  RAW acquired five new superstars, but Orton’s only got to face three of them in a 3 on 1 gauntlet match.  Batista knows how much Orton loves 3 on 1 fights.  It’s about time Orton finds out how it feels to be on the recieving end of one.

Up next, it’s the first match in the Night of Champions tournament, Triple H vs. MVP.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H is out first for his match.  MVP comes out next, and we’re treated to a quick clip of MVP out with Sherri Sheppard at the BET Awards last night.  I actually saw them on CNN this morning.

Triple H def. MVP

• Triple H tries to use his injured leg early and MVP notices that he hurt himself.
• MVP tries to capitalize on the injury, while Triple H tries to prevent him from doing so.
• MVP uses the Figure Four to do damage to the injured leg.
• Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but MVP attacks the leg, takes The Game down and hits the Ballin’ Elbow for a two count.
• MVP misses a kick, Triple H goes for a Pedigree, but MVP backdrops him out of it, then boots him in the face for another two count.
• MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Triple H reverses into the Pedigree, picking up the victory

Up next, it’s Unified Tag Team Title action as new champions Chris Jericho and Edge defend against former champions Carlito and Primo.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The new WWE Unified Tag Team Champions are out first for their match – much like last night, tradition be damned.  Jericho says that by virtue of his massive talent, he once again finds himself in front of all the hypocrites in the RAW audience.  The only reason he is still here… Edge interrupts and says it’s because he approached Jericho last night and said they needed to unite to save themselves from inept management, and now they’re the unified tag team champions, which means they can appear on any show in the WWE, unfortunately including RAW.  The difference between the champs and all the fans is that they take matters into their own hands.  They’re winners, as opposed to the fans, who are all losers…

I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool

Primo and Carlito hit the ring, and we’re ready for action!

Edge & Chris Jericho def. Primo & Carlito

• Jericho & Primo kick things off, and Primo uses his quickness to take the early advantage.  He manages to toss both Edge and Jericho out of the ring.
• After a commercial break, Jericho is in control.
• Carlito gets a tag in and takes over.
• Edge gets the tag in, but Primo causes him to miss the Spear on Carlito, leading to a Backstabber, but the count was broken up by Jericho.
• Jericho shoves Primo into the ring apron on the outside, causing him to knock Carlito out of a springboard move, leading to a spear from Edge on Carlito, and the pinfall!

Primo and Carlito argue for a moment following the match.

Still to come, The Miz vs. John Cena and Randy Orton in a 3 on 1 Gauntlet Match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Orton ponders to Legacy, a Three Stages of Hell last night, a Gauntlet Match tonight, who does Batista think he is?  Batista steps in the room and says that if Rhodes or DiBiase get involved in the gauntlet match, they’ll be fired on the spot.

Video Package:  The same one they showed at The Bash last night about Cena and The Miz

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

John Cena is out first for his match, for some reason.  The Miz hits the ring, and we’re set for Night of Champions Tournament action!

John Cena def. The Miz

• Miz gets the early offense in.
• Cena tries to get in his running bulldog, but Miz tosses him aside.
• Miz is still dominating after a commercial break.
• Cena went for an Attitude Adjustment, but The Miz reversed it.
• Cena goes for the STF, but the Miz reversed it.
• Cena starts to battle back, hitting shoulderblocks and a Protobomb, followed by a 5 Knuckle Shuffle and a Throwback.
• Cena locks in the STF, and The Miz taps out

Good job creating new stars, WWE.

Still to come, Randy Orton in a 3 on 1 gauntlet match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Cody Rhodes is giving Randy Orton a pep talk backstage.  Ted DiBiase comes in and tells him everything is going to be alright.  He just talked to his dad, and that’s who is going to be the guest host next week on Monday Night RAW.  Orton wants to know how that helps him tonight.

The winner of this next match will face Maryse at Night of Champions for the WWE Divas Championship.  Kelly Kelly makes her way out first, followed by Mickie James.  Maryse makes her way to ringside to get a close up view.  We’ll find out who the other two participants in this fatal four way are after the…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez apparently came to the ring during the commercial break as the match has started.

Mickie James def. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendez, and Kelly Kelly

• Hooray.  Another multi-Diva clusterf^*$
• Kelly gets hit with Beth’s version of the Implant Buster, but the pin is broken up by Mickie James.
• Mickie James picks up the victory with a pinfall on Rosa Mendez after a MickieDT

After the match, Maryse tells Mickie to talk to the hand.  Mickie walks up to the Diva’s Champion and blows her a kiss.

The Big Show is walking backstage.  Apparently, we’ll find out where he’s going, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Video Package:  WWE is sponsoring the SummerSlam Reading Jam.

The Big Show is on his way to the ring.  I told you we’d figure out where he was going.  His opponent tonight is the United States Champion, Kofi Kingston

The Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston

• Kofi starts off the match by lifting The Big Show high over his head and tossing him into the third row.  Oh wait, no he didn’t.  He started it off by getting his ass kicked all over the ring.  I’m just bored.
• Kofi moves out of the way of a Big Show elbow drop and starts hitting Show with various strikes.
• Kofi hits a missile dropkick from the top rope and a legdrop for a two count.
• Kofi gets some offense in, but Big Show still dominates.
• The action spills out of the ring, and neither man makes it back in before the ref counts to ten.

Big Show angrily walks away.

Up next, it’s Randy Orton in a 3-on-1 gauntlet match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Next week’s guest host for Monday Night RAW will be The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase!

We’re finally set for our main event.  The WWE Champion makes his way to the ring, and we still don’t know who his opponents are.  I’m guessing two jobbers and an upper mid-carder set to get a push.  His first opponent is…  EVAN BOURNE!  EVAN BOURNE IS A RAW SUPERSTAR!!

Gauntlet match part 1:  Randy Orton def. Evan Bourne

• Bourne uses his quickness to his advantage early on, but Orton holds his own.
• Bourne hits a lot of high flying moves, but in the end, Orton hits an RKO for the pin

Gauntlet match part 2:  Randy Orton def. Jack Swagger

• Swagger steps out onto the ring apron, folds his arms, and the referee counts him out.

Swagger explains that he’s always liked and respected Orton, and wanted to leave a lasting impression.  He shakes Orton’s hand, and it’s time for the third match.  Orton’s third opponent is…  The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry!  Henry says he’s always liked Orton himself, and also has a lot of respect for him, and just like Swagger, he came here to make an impression, and it’s gonna be a good one.

Gauntlet match part 3:  Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

• Henry shoves Orton to the canvas, but steps out onto the apron just like Jack Swagger did.  The referee attempts to talk him into getting back in the ring, and starts counting.  Henry wags his finger at Orton and steps back in the ring.
• Orton begs Henry for mercy.  Henry responds by pulling him up to his feet by the throat.
• Henry lobs Orton across the ring and goes after him.
• Henry drops Orton with the World’s Strongest Slam for the victory!

Batista comes out on the stage, happy with the results of his booking.  Mark Henry applaunds Batista.  Next week on RAW, it’s John Cena vs. Triple H with guest host The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.

My Thoughts:

Despite popular opinion, ECW was not just completely raped of their talent.  They still have Christian, The Hurricane, and The Hart Dynasty, and I’m sure they’ll have some talent coming in that will be able to get themselves over on the program.

A face Mark Henry?  Really?  Is the world ready for that yet?  And what’s to become of Tony Atlas?  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Why oh why won’t WWE let The Miz steal a victory from John Cena.  The Miz was kicking Cena’s ass tonight and still lost.

Whatever, if it weren’t for Evan Bourne and Jack Swagger coming over, I’d say I’m done with this show.  See you tomorrow for ECW on SciFi!

The post WWE RAW results 6/29/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

We’ve got the opening pyro going, and the official theme song – “whyyawannabringmedown” by Aranda – playing over the PA.

Our opening contest is the ECW Championship Scramble.  Christian is the first participant tonight, and he’ll be spending the first two minutes in the ring with Jack Swagger.

Tommy Dreamer wins an ECW Championship Scramble

• Swagger is impressive in the early going, using a combination of power moves and submissions to wear down Christian.
• Nobody scores a fall in the early going, and Finlay makes his way out as the third entrant.
• Finlay uses a barrage of strikes to take his opponents down, but Christian holds his own.
• Jack Swagger scores a pinfall on Finlay to become the “current” ECW Champion.
• With Jack Swagger as the “current” champion, the official ECW Champion, Tommy Dreamer enters the fray.
• Dreamer uses power moves to put Swagger and Christian down, but he can’t score a quick pinfall.
• Finlay hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger and becomes the “current” ECW Champion.
• With Finlay still the “current” ECW Champion, the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry enters the match.  In five minutes, we’ll know who is going home with the title.
• Henry uses his power to dominate his opponents in this matchup, dropping Dreamer with the World’s Strongest Slam to become the “current” ECW Champion.
• Swagger, Finlay, and Christian gang up on Henry to get him out of the ring.
• Henry gets back in and tries to climb the ropes, but is caught by Swagger, who hits a Vader Bomb for a three count to become the “current” ECW Champion.
• Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger, but Dreamer breaks up the pin, DDTing Christian and scoring a pinfall of his own with 1:20 to go to become the “current” ECW Champion.
• Time runs out with complete chaos in the ring – but it’s Tommy Dreamer who walks out of The Bash with the ECW Championship still in hand!

Teddy Long gets a visit from Edge, who reminds him that he’s on probation.  Edge thinks Long should think outside the box and make a triple threat match for the World Heavyweight Championship.  After all, he pinned Jeff Hardy two nights ago.  The fact that he’s not on a PPV while he’s healthy is a crime.  Long says too bad Vickie’s not around, she could help Edge.  Edge says that if Long doesn’t put him on the show, Long will be just like Vickie – out of a job.

Rey Mysterio is dressed like a zebra and on his way to the ring.  He seriously looks like he raided Lex Luger’s Zubaz closet.  Ok, maybe it’s not that extreme.  Tonight could be Rey’s last night wearing his mask, if he can’t beat Chris Jericho.  We’re shown the recent history between Jericho and Mysterio, and the Intercontinental Champion makes his way to the ring.

Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Title vs. Mask

Jericho goes after Mysterio’s mask early on, which is pretty pointless if you think about it.  Focus on winning the match and you won’t have to rip the mask off of his face if you’re successful.  And this guy’s supposed to be intelligent.  Jericho catches Rey Mysterio on the outside and swings him head first into the guardrail in a holy sh!t moment.  JR says that his understanding is that if Mysterio doesn’t win the Intercontinental Title, he must remove his mask.  If that’s the case, I’d get myself DQed or Counted Out if I were Jericho and say “you didn’t win the title, you have to unmask.”  But of course, he goes after the mask again.  When he’s not going after the mask, Jericho is dominant.  Any little burst of offense from Mysterio is cut short quickly.  Mysterio surprises Jericho with a moonsault and scores a two count, but his next move attempt is reversed into a Walls of Jericho in the center of the ring.  Mysterio inches his way to the bottom rope, forcing Jericho to release the hold.  Jericho ducks a 619 attempt and clotheslines Mysterio to the canvas.  I lost my feed here, but I picked one up to see Mysterio hitting a 619 but having the West Coast Pop reversed into a Walls of Jericho.  Mysterio managed to pull Mysterio’s mask off – but Mysterio was wearing a second one underneath!  Mysterio manages to hit a 619 and drops the dime to become the NEW Intercontinental Champion!

This past Monday, Mr. McMahon was outsmarted by Donald Trump, and in his bad mood, he made Randy Orton vs. Triple H in a Three Stages of Hell match.

Triple H is getting his leg taped up backstage, as Michael Cole reminds us that Triple has one the two previous Three Stages of Hell matches.

Jericho demands a rematch from Teddy Long, who reminds him that he’s the longest running GM in WWE History.  He didn’t survive five years by giving in to every obnoxious Superstar who walks into his office.  Jericho says he won’t make it five more minutes if he doesn’t change his mind about not giving Jericho his rematch.

Video package detailing Dolph Ziggler’s feud with The Great Khali.

Khali is out first with the Sultan of Sideburns, Ranjin Singh.  JR ponders why the translator has to accompany Khali to the ring, and Dolph Ziggler heads to the ring for this No Disqualification match.

Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali – No Disqualification match.

Despite Ziggler’s best efforts, Khali is dominant early.  Khali leans Ziggler against the ringpost and tries to chop him, but Ziggler moves, causing Khali to chop the steel instead, which phases Khali for a second or two, but he chops Ziggler across the chest a moment later anyway.  Ziggler tries to go after the legs of Khali, draping one over the top rope.  Ziggler grabs a chair, but Khali swats it away.  Ziggler goes right back to the leg, and hits a Rocker Dropper on Khali for a two count.  Khali knocks Ziggler down, but the pyro goes off, and the Big Red Machine Kane makes his way to the ring.  Ziggler attacks Khali with the chair off the distraction, and leaves the ring when Kane enters.  Kane takes the chair and wails away on The Great Khali.  Kane leaves, and the opportunistic Ziggler crawls into the ring and scores the pinfall!

Teddy Long is greeted by Mr. McMahon back in his office.  He came to apologize.  He was a little harsh on Teddy when he put him on probation, but then he heard what he said to Jericho earlier, about being the longest running GM in WWE history, and he’s accomplished absolutely nothing.  Bischoff, Heyman, Regal, even Adamle have done more than he has.  If McMahon and Long were in a foxhole together, out of sheer boredom, Mr. McMahon would shoot himself.  The only thing Long’s got going is the little dance thing he does, and even then, he doesn’t have a sense of rhythm.  He’s still on probation.

12 Rounds is coming out on DVD on Tuesday.  It’s like The Marine, except he’s a cop.

The Unified WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito are out first, for some reason.  Tradition be damned, apparently.  Priceless make their way out, and Teddy Long interrupts the proceedings.  He’s going to make this a Triple Threat.  The third team in is Edge and Chris Jericho!

Chris Jericho & Edge def. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes and Primo & Carlito – Unified WWE Tag Team Championship

I’ve run into some technical difficulties early on in this match, but the general story from what I can tell is that neither DiBiase & Rhodes nor Primo & Carlito want to tag in Edge or Jericho.  Edge made a blind tag, Carlito hit a Backstabber on Cody Rhodes, and was then nailed with a Spear.  Edge makes the cover, and we’ve got new Unified Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho and Edge!  What a shocker!

Randy Orton is backstage waiting for Legacy.  He tells them not to worry about it, the important thing is helping him keep his title.  DiBiase says they were this close to winning.  Orton says he doesn’t care if DiBiase and Rhodes are Tag Team Champions or not.  DiBiase complains about being a henchman.  Orton tells him that maybe he made a mistake.  DiBiase says good luck with Triple H.

This contest, set for one fall, is for the WWE Women’s Championship!  Great, why couldn’t I have difficulties with this match?  And of course, no sooner do I say that then I have technical difficulties again.  Anyways, Melina is out first – again, tradition be damned.  Michelle McCool hits the ring, flanked by Alicia Fox.

Michelle McCool def. Melina – WWE Women’s Championship

Michelle goes for the jaw early on.  Melina battles back, however, as Todd Grisham tells us that Melina won the Women’s title back at the Royal Rumble in January by defeating Beth Phoenix.  Michelle starts going after Melina’s leg.  She stretches Melina in ways that would make Hart Dungeon grads cringe.  Michelle goes for the Faith Breaker, but Melina fights out of it.  Melina manages to pull off some offense, hurting her own knee in the process.  Alicia Fox gets involved, but gets kicked in the face for her troubles.  Michelle boots Melina in the head and scores a two count.  Michelle gets Melina up for the Faith Breaker, and hits it this time.  Michelle McCool makes history by becoming the first woman to ever have held both the Diva’s Championship and the Women’s Championship!

Video Package:  The rivalry between Jeff Hardy and World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk.

Once again, tradition be damned, as the World Heavyweight Champion is the first one down to the ring.  Punk says “somebody’s going to sleep – it’s nap time.”  Jeff Hardy, sans facepaint, makes his way out, and we’re set for our SmackDown main event.

Jeff Hardy def. CM Punk via disqualification (Punk retains the title) – World Heavyweight Championship

Big fight feel here.  I say from time to time in the TV reviews that sometimes words can’t describe it, you just have to sit back and watch.  This is going to be one of those matches.  At one point, Punk takes Hardy down, and smiles as he soaks in a few boos from the crowd.  He goes for the GTS, but Hardy reverses into a Twist of Fate attempt, which Punk then reverses himself.  Punk goes for poetry in motion off the steps on the outside, but Punk moves out of the way, sending Hardy crashing into the barricade.  Once Hardy finally gets back into the ring, Punk tries to wear him down with submission holds.  Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind and covers Punk, but only gets two.  The pace starts to quicken, as Jeff Hardy takes over.  Punk turns things back into his favor, scoring with a roundhouse kick, followed by the kneelift/bulldog combination and getting a two count.  Punk starts to score with various strikes, but is caught with a Twist of Fate out of nowhere!  Hardy goes for the Swanton but the Champion moves out of the way, leaving Hardy to crash and burn.  Punk says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He pulls Hardy up, but Hardy rulls Punk up with an inside cradle for a two count!  Punk hits a roundhouse on Hardy and goes for the GTS again.  Hardy fights out and hits the Twist of Fate.  Hardy climbs the ropes again, and he hits the Swanton!  He covers Punk, and gets the three!  Your new World Heavywe… or so you thought.  Punk’s foot was under the bottom rope, and was noticed by referee Scott Armstrong, who immediately waves off his three count.  The fans boo, and Hardy can’t believe it as Punk pulls himself up to his feet.  Hardy goes for another Twist of Fate, reversed into a GTS attempt.  Hardy battles out and inadvertantly elbows Punk in the eye.  The referee checks on Punk – and then gets roundhoused in the back, earning Punk a disqualification.  So Jeff Hardy wins the match – but NOT the World Heavyweight Championship!

The crowd chants bullshit as Punk grabs and clutches his World Heavyweight Championship.  As Punk leaves, Hardy comes out after him.  He spins Punk around and accuses Punk of kicking the referee on purpose.  He then attacks Punk, rolling him back in the ring and pounding away at the World Champion.  The referee calls for reinforcements, and a gang of officials come to the ring to pull Hardy off of Punk – momentarily.  Hardy takes Punk back down, and Punk rolls out of the ring, still clutching at his eye.  JR debates whether or not Punk knew he was hitting the referee or if it was impared vision that caused him to kick the referee.

Primo and Carlito complain to Teddy Long about being screwed out of the tag team titles.

Backstage, Orton calls Rhodes, leaving a voicemail to ask where he and DiBiase are.

Video package detailing The Miz’s continual trash talking of John Cena

Rev Theory and Adelita’s Way performed outside before the Bash, and now both bands are inside watching the show.  Rev Theory are cool guys if you ever get the chance to meet them.  I met them last year at WrestleMania Fan Axxess before WM24

The Miz is out first.  Cena hits the ring wearing his stupid John Deere outfit.  I’m cool, my new t-shirt is a knockoff of a lawnmower company logo.

John Cena def. The Miz

What did I say this morning in ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts?  I said that The Miz needs the win after Cena verbally buried him on Monday.  And now Cena is pretty much no-selling everything like he’s early 90’s Undertaker.  Of course, just as I typed that, The Miz actually gets some effective offense in.  Of course, it doesn’t last too long before Cena starts to get in his usual offense, including the Attitude Adjustment and the STF, making The Miz tap out.  WTF WWE, way to make new stars.

Video package detailing the recent history of Triple H and Randy Orton

As per the new WWE tradition, apparently, The Champion makes his way to the ring first, minus Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.  The Game’s music rings out, and Triple H makes his way to the ring for this Three Stages of Hell match.

Randy Orton def. Triple H- Three Stages of Hell match

Orton dominates the early going of the first fall.  Triple H blasts Orton with a steel chair, earning himself a disqualification!  Orton leads 1 – 0!

It doesn’t matter though, because Triple H is going ballistic with the steel chair, slamming it against Orton’s back, arms, and neck.  Orton rolls to the outside, where Triple H covers him and scores a three count.  Tied at 1.

The stretcher is wheeled down to the ring and the line is taped down at the top of the stage.  Triple H grabs Orton and puts him atop the stretcher.  He wheels the stretcher up the ramp, but Orton gets off of it just before it goes across the line.  He chop blocks Triple H’s leg out from under him.  The match spills to the floor with Orton dominating.  Triple H battles back and tosses Orton over the barricade and back to the ringside area.  Orton pulls the protective padding off of the barricade and backdrops Triple H’s back right across it.  Orton tosses the steel steps into the ring, but Triple H manages to cause him to fall face first into them.  Another blast from the steps, and Triple H drags Orton onto the stretcher.  Triple H starts to push the stretcher up the ramp, but Orton kicks Triple H, causing The Game to fall ontop of the stretcher as well, and the stretcher rolls down the ramp with both men on it.  Orton takes the worst of the resulting spill, but he springs back to life and slams Triple H’s head off of the stretcher, and then does his elevated DDT, using the stretcher instead of the ropes, and the steel ramp instead of the canvas.  Orton goes to punt Triple H, but The Game moved, causing Orton to kick the stretcher instead.  Triple H goes for a Pedigree on the floor but instead gets backdropped onto the stretcher.  Orton makes an attempt to wheel The Game over the line, but Triple H rolls off at the last possible second.  Orton kicks him, and slaps his hands down on the stretcher in frustration.  The viper-like Orton coils in wait, but his RKO attempt is reversed, and he’s shoved into the set.  Triple H nails a pedigree at the top of the ramp.  The Game drags Orton to the stretcher and places him on top of it, but Cody Rhodes comes out to make the save before The Game can push it across the line.  Rhodes gets shoved into the Bash set for his toubles, but as The Game tries to pull Orton across the line, he’s attacked by Ted DiBiase.  DiBiase and Rhodes attempt to put The Game up on the stretcher, but he battles back, but the numbers become too much for him.  Rhodes and DiBiase help Orton up, but The Game grabs his sledgehammer and takes out Orton’s Legacy brothers.  Orton kicks Triple H before he can hit him with the sledgehammer, then nails him with a piece of the stage.  The game lands on the stretcher, and Orton pulls it across the line, picking up the victory.

Triple H gets up after the match, and sneaks up on Orton, who is showing off his championship.  Orton turns around and gets blasted in the jaw by The Game’s sledgehammer.  Triple H stands tall (and delivers a crotch chop) as The Bash comes to an end, but does so without the WWE Championship.

My thoughts

Just the other night, with Edge in the main event of SmackDown, I said to myself, “isn’t it weird that Edge isn’t on The Bash card?  He’s always on PPV if he’s healthy.”  Sure enough, he managed to get on the show, and in a big way, teaming with Chris Jericho to add yet another tag team championship to an already impressive resume.  And here I thought The Hart Dynasty were the next Canadians to win tag team gold.

Drowgoddess asked me about the finish of the CM Punk/Jeff Hardy match earlier tonight.  She wanted to know if it was really the way to go in what should have been the match of the night.  I feel it was.  A finish that leaves you wondering whether Punk knew what he was doing when he got himself disqualified at this point is actually a good idea. The fact that the match was the unquestionable match of the night is irrelevant.

The Miz was made to look like John Cena’s bitch.  Randy Orton won his match, but he and Legacy came out looking like Triple H’s whipping boys.  This is WWE booking for you.  Join me tomorrow night for RAW, perhaps in real-time, depending on my mood.

The post WWE The Bash 2009 Results appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Last Monday, Randy Orton won the WWE Championship for the 5th time, Donald Trump “bought” RAW, and Triple H won a battle royal for the number one contendership.

The RAW opening video has been changed to include Donald Trump at the beginning.  There’s still WWE branding on the stage, but there’s also a lot of TRUMP branding as Michael Cole welcomes us to the commercial-free RAW that is the start of the Donald Trump era.  Tonight, it’s Last Man Standing, Triple H vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.

Lillian Garcia introduces and welcomes the new owner of Monday Night RAW, Donald Trump, who is accompanied by Kelly Kelly out to the stage.  He welcomes everybody to Monday Night RAW.  Even though he owns RAW and he loves it, it’s not his show, it’s our show.  Tonight, RAW is commercial free to prove it.  More importantly, for the people in the arena, they’re getting World Championship Matches, better than Vince would’ve given us, Donald’s a giver, so after the show is over, he’s giving everybody a full refund!  Now that’s how to excite an audience.  $245,000 he’s giving back.  Only Trump would do that, enjoy the show.

John Cena is out first with a knockoff of the John Deere logo that says “ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT” on it.  He says to stop the presses.  First things first, his hat is off to The Donald.  Tonight we’re all part of a WWE Championship match between Triple H and Randy Orton, and on top of that, The Donald says we’re going commercial free.  Tonight he even put Cena in a match with The Big Show.  Cena’s most proud of the fact that if you hold on to your ticket stubs, when the show is over you’ll get free money.  Trump’s been here two minutes and already knows how to make a statement.  Speaking of making a statement, watch this.

A video package airs of The Miz mocking Cena.  Because he’s THE MIZ…. and he’s… AWESOME!

Cena says The Miz always has something interesting to say.  I bet he’s got something to say this week, so let’s bring him out.  The Miz appears on the top of the ramp, mic in hand.  Cena wants to know what Miz has to say?  Miz has said everything to him and he’s done nothing, because he’s a coward.  Cena says it’s a strange word choice, when Cena is in the ring and Miz is all the way up the ramp.  Miz starts walking down to the ring, and steps into it.  He walks right up to John Cena and he says “you’re a coward.”  Cena says that normally, this is the portion of the show where The Miz starts to pick up his own teeth, but since we had a good start, just for coming to the ring, he’s going to give Miz what he wanted.  Miz wants to be the highlight of Monday Night RAW, well, congratulations, you’ve got your chance.  The good news is, for the first time ever, The Miz will main event a PPV this Sunday at The Bash when he has a match with John Cena.  That’s also the bad news.  For two months, Miz has come out to run his mouth about Cena.  Does he know who he’s dealing with.  He put his life on the line in the Hammerstein Ballroom, was booed out of the Hall of Fame ceremony and had 80,000 people telling him he can’t wrestle at WrestleMania, but he’s still here.  Cena says The Miz has 6 more days before he realizes that The Real World has been cancelled.  6 more days before he realizes he’s not a reality show has-been, he’s a WWE never-was.  This is the part of the show where he puts his tail between his legs, heads to the locker room, and prays that on Sunday he makes it out in one piece.  The Miz decks Cena and runs back up the entrance.

Earlier today, Mr. McMahon was having limo troubles.  The limo driver suggests Mr. McMahon head to the gas station, but he’s never been in a gas station in his life, what’s another plan?  The driver suggests they walk, since the arena isn’t too far away.  McMahon says they are going to walk.  He jumps on the limo driver’s back and orders him to walk.  The driver falls over and McMahon kicks him while he’s down, telling him to call his boss and tell him that Mr. McMahon is going to the arena in a limo, and he’s not going to be the one to drive him.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!  Todd Grisham and Jim Ross are eating Kentucky Grilled Chicken and they’re here because Donald Trump asked SmackDown to have a presense.  Later tonight is Mr. McMahon’s farewell address, but up first, it’s Jeff Hardy!

Hardy almost falls at the top of the stage, and we’re set for tag action, apparently.  Jeff’s first partner is The Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!  They’re teaming with Rey Mysterio.  Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring first for his team.  He’s followed by Dolph Ziggler and then by Edge. CM Punk joins JR and Todd Grisham on commentary and we’re set for action!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and The Great Khali def. Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, and Edge

• Khali starts the match off tossing all three opponents to the floor.  Jeff Hardy hits a suicide dive on all three of them, followed by Rey Mysterio diving off of Khali’s shoulders onto them.
• Khali starts to climb the the ropes but is stopped short by Chris Jericho.
• CM Punk asks if he can have some chicken.
• Edge catches Hardy with the spear.  Jericho tries a codebreaker on Khali, which is followed by a spear from Edge.  Mysterio hits a 619 on Edge.  Jeff Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and a Swanton on Dolph Ziggler to pick up the win for his team.

CM Punk leaves the broadcast table, saying that a win like that deserves a face to face congratulations.  Punk raises Hardy’s arm before Hardy realizes who was in the ring with him.  He swats Punk’s arm away and leaves with Rey Mysterio.

Mr. McMahon has arrived at the building and is locked out of Donald Trump’s office.  He’s met by Santina Marella, who is excited to finally have the chance to meet him.  She puts her hand out for him to kiss, which he slaps away.   Santina suggests Mr. McMahon and The Donald share an office.  They can call it McDonalds.  The Donald comes out of the office, he tells Mr. McMahon that it’s not his office anymore, his office is down the hall.  Santina introduces himself to Mr. Trump, who says he’s doing the same thing to her tonight that he did to Miss California.  She’s fired!  Santino runs in and realizes his sister has been fired.  He thinks there must be something he can do, before realizing she had a good run.

Apparently, the Kentucky Grilled Chicken belongs to The King, who realizes JR stole a piece.

Primo is in singles competition tonight.  That’s what I get for eating an apple before RAW.  Primo says that he thinks Pricele$$ are cool, because they get to hang out with the WWE Champion.  Carlito agrees, they get to drive Randy around and they all go to the beach together, and that Ted rubs oil on Orton’s body like nobody else.  Primo says that’s not cool, and that after the Bash, they’ll still be unified WWE Tag Team Champions.  Priceless’s new music hits, and it’s Cody Rhodes set to take on Primo in this upcoming matchup.

Cody Rhodes def. Primo

• Cody Rhodes picks up the win after rolling through a Primo cross body from the top rope and hooking the tights.

Mr. McMahon is in the RAW locker room, and he’s greeted by Goldust and Hornswoggle.  Goldust says his wig looked so good on Goldberg he was thinking of giving it to Donald Trump.  He puts it on Mr McMahon’s head to see what it looks like on a billionaire.  Mr. McMahon tosses the wig down before Goldust tells him where his office is – it’s a toilet stall.  McMahon says he just wants one shred of dignity tonight.  Then the toilet flushes.  Festus comes out of Mr. McMahon’s “office” and hands him a copy of the Wall Street Journal.

Video package detailing the recent history between Triple H and Randy Orton

“The following is the Last Man Standing match, and it is for the WWE Championship. Now in this match there are no pinfalls, disqualifications, submissions, or countouts.  The only way to win this match is to incapacitate your opponent until he can no longer answer the referee’s count of ten.”

-Lillian Garcia

Triple H makes his way out first, followed by the WWE Champion Randy Orton, and we’re set for main event action – before the first hour even ends!

Randy Orton vs. Triple H in a Last Man Standing Match ended in a draw.

• This is the third Last Man Standing match between these guys.  Orton won his second WWE Championship (in one night!) in the first one, and Triple H broke Orton’s collarbone to take the title back in the second.
• Championship introductions here, as per usual
• It doesn’t take long for the match to spill out to the floor and into the crowd, where Orton gets counted to four.
• Orton knocks Triple H down with the steel steps, earning himself a four count.
• Orton continues to work on the leg of Triple H.
• Orton scores an 8 count off of a chair shot.
• Orton reverses a Pedigree into an RKO onto the announce table to get a 9 count
• Triple H scores an 8 count off of a back body drop onto the table.
• Triple H hits Orton with the monitor, but Orton gets right back up – albeit dazed.
• Triple H hits a spinebuster on the entrance ramp, earning a 9 count.
• Orton reverses a Pedigree into a backdrop onto the entrance ramp, keeping The Game down for 7
• Triple H tosses Orton over the guardrail and gets an 8 count
• Triple H attempts to hit Orton with a ladder, but Orton ducks and a member of the WWE Staff gets hit with it instead.
• Orton uses the ladder on Triple H’s leg, and then hits him in the face with it.  He sandwiches Triple H’s leg between it and stomps away at it.
• Orton sets up the ladder on the top of the stage, grabs Triple H’s neck and starts climbing.  The Game doesn’t allow him to hit the RKO, however.
• Triple H hits a Pedigree on the top of the stage, but as he hurt his knee on the way down as well, neither man answers the 10 count, allowing Orton to retain.

Triple H gets a last shot in on Randy Orton as he leaves, but Orton is still the WWE Champion.

The Miz meets up with Maryse backstage.  She tells him again not to waste his time until he does something impressive to John Cena.  He asks if she means like what he did to him earlier in the night.  She says that one cheap shot doesn’t mean anything.  Miz says that he proved that Cena can’t rattle him.  In 6 days, he’ll prove he belongs here, because he’s the Miz, and he’s… cut off by Maryse who tells him again to do something impressive.

This Friday, Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio will face Edge and Chris Jericho in a steel cage.

The new owner of Monday Night RAW, Donald Trump makes his way back out to the ring, accompanied by Maria and Eve.  Earlier today he had a press conference, accompanied by all of the Divas.  The Donald says that earlier tonight he told the fans they’re all getting their money back.  For all of us watching television, no commericals.  Never happened before.  The new General Manager that Vince wanted to appoint?  Trump isn’t going to appoint one.  He’s going to appoint a celebrity host every week.  Oh boy.  It could be an actor, a great looking actress, a WWE Champion, but every week it will be somebody different, because The Donald doesn’t believe in general managers.  We’re going to run things properly, and The Donald is going to be working from us, and we’ll get lots of freebies from Donald Trump.  The greatest thing to happen is going to be WrestleMania 26, which will be fantastic.

The Donald is interrupted by Mr. McMahon.  Mr. McMahon says he didn’t know he was going to do a commerical free RAW.  He didn’t know The Donald was going to give the people in Green Bay their money back.  Mr. McMahon doesn’t believe they deserve their money back.  Mr. McMahon says he can’t do this every week.  If he did that, Mr. McMahon would be bankrupt.   Trump says this is peanuts.  He paid a big price for RAW and can do whatever the hell he wants.  Mr. McMahon says it’s not fair.  Trump says that a lot of people want to buy RAW from him, and he could double what he paid for it any time.  Mr. McMahon realized that Trump played him.  It’s a well orchestrated plan.  They’ll drive him into bankruptcy and…  Mr. McMahon admits that Trump is smarter than him.  Mr. McMahon wants to buy RAW back for the same amount of money Trump paid him.  Trump has no interest whatsoever.  Mr. McMahon offers what he was paid plus 25%.  Trump says no, he likes the people and likes giving them free admission.  McMahon offers 50% more than what Trump paid.  Trump says no deal.  McMahon says 75%.  Trump says no.  He’d better get his numbers up.  McMahon offers double.  Trump asks the fans, who boo the idea.  Trump tells him he’s got a deal.  McMahon says that if Trump ever crosses his path again, he’ll knock him on his billionaire butt.  McMahon tells Trump “YOU’RE FIRED!”  The fans chant “Donald Trump,” as the now former owner of RAW slaps Mr. McMahon.  Trump waves to the fans as he leaves, and they cheer him.

Michael Cole says he’s hungry, and The King offers to sell him his Kentucky Grilled Chicken for twice what he paid for them.

Video package detailing the recent rivalry between John Cena and The Big Show.

Randy Orton is being attended to by trainers.  McMahon sends Pricele$$ out of the building.  He tells Orton that if he thinks he’s in pain now, wait until the Bash this Sunday.  Orton says he can’t even stand, let alone fight.  If McMahon has any decency…  McMahon says that he’ll show him decency.  This Sunday he’s facing Triple H again, but this time it’s two out of three falls.  The first fall is a regular match, second fall is falls count anywhere, and if necessary, the third fall is a stretcher match.  God I hate stretcher matches.  McMahon tells him to enjoy his hurt, because he will.

Mickie James and The Bella Twins def. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendez, and Maryse

• Who needs commercials?  We’ve got Diva matches!
• Mickie James hits a superkick on Rosa Mendez to pick up the win.

Did you know?

WWE likes to stroke its own ego and masturbate its giant imaginary wang raw with more self-promoting half-truths and obvious lines than the New York Yankees, Dallas Cowboys, Los Angeles Lakes, Duke University Basketball, and Notre Dame Football combined.  (Thanks for this interesting fact, GreenTeabagger!)

Video package detailing that the Chicago Cubs are John Cena fans.  Apparently because Alfonso Soriano does the “You Can’t See Me” hand gesture.

Cole and The King get in the ring and run down the card for The Bash.

The Big Show def. John Cena

• Thanks to JT for covering the main event, as per usual.
• They keep promoting the Kentucky Grilled Chicken (hey I thought this was supposed to be commercial free?)
• Oh yeah if you’re reading this you missed the special look at the new Transformers movie.  (Unless, of course, you saw it and are just reading for the BWF take on things.)
• Middle of the ring face to face
• Cena controls early
• Big Show catches Cena mid air and slams him, then spears him and stands on his neck, goes for the pin, 2 count.
• SHHHHH, Big Show slap on Cena
• Show tries again but misses, Cena gains control, then loses it to a Show powerbomb and rolls outside of the ring.
• Cena gets back in the ring, tries for some offense, but it is ineffective
• Show dominates
• Cena goes for a headlock, Show then suplexes him, goes for a pin, 2 count.
• Show continues to dominate.
• Leg drop, attempt another pin, 2 count.
• Show stands over Cena with a big grin on his face.
• Cena gains control, hits leg drop off the ropes.
• U can’t see me, 5 knuckle shuffle, then Show hits a chokeslam, pin, 2 count.
• Show to 2nd rope, splat on Cena, then Show gets up.
• Show goes for the Camel Clutch, but Cena counters to the STFU
• Show almost taps out, until The Miz comes out
• Cena then goes for the F-u Attitude Adjuster, then Miz interferes causing Show to knock Cena down for the 1,2,3. Big Show wins!

The Miz stands over John Cena, while Big Show’s music plays.

To the back- Orton is leaving, but is then attacked by HHH.  We fade to black with HHH telling Orton that “This Sunday, you’re going to hell!”

My Thoughts:

So much for the Sanitna Marella and Donald Trump storylines.  Though it would look as though we may wind up with another Battle of the Billionaires out of this.

For a few moments, it was bugging me that Vince was so concerned about Trump’s giving away RAW for free, since it’s Trump’s show, but then I realized, despite being owned by Donald Trump, RAW is still operated under franchise to the WWE, meaning it’s still a concern for Mr. McMahon.  I’ll admit, tonight’s show didn’t drag nearly as much as recent episodes.  Whether it’s because of the lack of commercials or because the quality of the show was higher is debatable.  Really, it could have been the energy of the crowd, who were buzzing all night because they were told they were getting their money back – and I’m sure they will be, despite the twist in the storyline that might suggest otherwise.

I hate stretcher matches, and I hate the fact that I may have to see one on Sunday.  I’m not thrilled about that, but whatever.  Speaking of Pay Per Views, I know this is the WWE RAW review, but I’ve got to recommend “calling your local cable provider and ordering the replay” of TNA’s Slammiversary.  It was actually that good.

Nothing really stands out about tonight’s episode, but that doesn’t mean it was bad.  It was an interesting show to watch, in a good way.  It still won’t likely hold a candle to ECW tomorrow night (I’ll be here again to do the real-time!) or SmackDown on Friday,  but it was an entertaining two hours nonetheless.

The post RAW Results 6/22/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Tonight, it’s the WWE Three For All – all three World Championships are on the line tonight as RAW brings us three hours of action from Charlotte, North Carolina!

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announce that Mr. McMahon is here and expected to name a new GM.  Well, Cole does, Lawler says McMahon may be here for something else.

Last week, Legacy broke Batista’s arm, and Triple H broke Orton’s credibility by beating the crap out of him for what seemed like an hour or so.

RAW still wants to be loved.  Maybe if it was more entertaining.

• Jericho says that RAW’s gone to hell without him – the GM quit and the title is vacant.
• Mysterio’s mask will be his downfall, and only Jericho can be his savior and set him free
• Mysterio is out next, still wearing a mask
• There’s a timer counting down to the WWE Championship match.  Yet this match has no time limit.  Hooray for suspension of disbelief!
• Jericho continues to go for Mysterio’s mask.
• Mysterio builds momentum
• Jericho ducks a 619 and considered doing one himself, but got caught with a moonsault instead.
• Mysterio nails a second 619 attempt.
• Jericho catches Mysterio out of a West Coast Pop and goes for the mask.  Mysterio fights to keep it on but catches a Codebreaker for his troubles.  Jericho retains.

Mr. McMahon is up next.

Josh Matthews asks Randy Orton about Triple H.  Orton says triple H knows that he can’t get to Orton without a sledgehammer.  He plans on taking back the WWE Championship tonight.  John Cena interrupts the interview.  He says the WWE Universe always talks about Randy Orton.  They want to know why a superstar with so much talent continues to be such a spineless coward.  He reminds Orton that it’s not just him and Triple H involved in the WWE Championship match tonight.

Last week, Vickie Guerrero quit.  Mr. McMahon is standing by.  Cole asks who the new GM is.  McMahon says he’s here to make that announcement.  After much deliberation, he’s not going to announce the new GM, he’s going to allow someone else to do that.  When opportunity knocks, you’ve gotta walk through the door and sieze the moment.  When someone gives you an offer you can’t refuse, don’t refuse it.  With mixed emotion, his announcement is that he’s selling Monday Night RAW.  To who?!?  He’ll make the announcement after they clear up the WWE Championship situation.  Right after the match.  If someone would’ve said that he’d be announcing this person as the new owner of Monday Night RAW, he would have told him then, there’s no chance in hell.

• Christian hits the ring first, followed by ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer
• Pretty basic match here.  Still pretty decent though.
• Christian reverses a DDT attempt into a Killswitch attempt.
• Dreamer picks up the win via rollup pin.

The Bellas and Kelly Kelly are wondering if they still have jobs, and ponder if it’s Oprah, Paris Hilton, or Barack Obama who bought the show.  Who read my Friday Night SmackDown results last week and stole my Oprah thunder?

Batista got surgery last Tuesday.  Let’s watch a slideshow!

• Randy Orton is out first, followed by The Big Show, then John Cena and lastly, Triple H
• Big fight style introductions for this one.
• As expected, Cena and Big Show went after each other early, as did Orton and Triple H
• Cena and Triple H work together to knock Big Show out of the ring.
• Cena hits the Protobomb, but gets Spinebustered out of a 5 knuckle shuffle attempt before Big Show takes them both down.  Show goes after Cena while Orton attacks Triple H.
• Orton goes for the punt on The Big Show, who easily caught his leg.
• Show hits a Vader Bomb on Cena, but Orton breaks up the pinfall.
• Show spears Triple H for a two.
• Orton gets thrown off of an RKO attempt on Big Show.
• Triple H pedigrees Big Show.
• Cena Attitude Adjusts Triple H, gets a two on Big Show.
• Cena Attitude Adjusts Big Show, gets two before Orton breaks it up
• Orton tosses Cena aside and RKO’s Big Show for the win and the Championship!

Mr. McMahon makes his way to the ring.  He comes to us with a heavy heart, and he’s done a lot of soul searching.  He’s had conversations with family, friends, and financial advisors, and he’s got no doubt that he’s made the right decision to sell Monday Night RAW.  It will be independantly owned an operated by a man Mr. McMahon has a history with.  He’s been compensated in overwhelming fashion.  Via Satellite, the new owner of Monday Night RAW…

IT’S MY F*(#ING HERO, DONALD J TRUMP!

The Donald is now the sole owner of Monday Night RAW, and he vows to do stuff that’s never been seen before.  The people deserve something special.  Vince made a lot of money off of these people.  Mr. McMahon wants the WWE Universe to give back to him, since he’s given so much to them.  The Donald’s first act as owner is to do something unheard of, something Mr. McMahon was too cheap to do himself.  Next week, RAW will be live without commercials!  Mr. McMahon doesn’t think he’s serious.  The Donald says he’s serious.  No commercials.  None.  It’s because of Donald Trump.  Vince thinks The Donald has lost his marbles.  Trump will personally be on RAW next week to run things the right way.  He tells Mr. McMahon to not get in his way, and that he looked better bald after Trump shaved his head.  Mr. McMahon cuts off the new owner and wants to give his farewell address.  Mr McMahon is in charge until next week, and tonight we’ll find out who will face Randy Orton at the Bash, via a 10 man over-the-top battle royal.  Mr. McMahon is going to do something that Mr. Trump doesn’t believe in, he’s going to take us to commercial.

• Mickie James hits the ring first.
• Her opponent is Rosa Mendez, who convinces Beth Phoenix to let her go to the ring by herself.
• WWE Divas Champion Maryse comes down to ringside.
• The crowd is pretty much dead here.  Mickie picks up the win with the DDT, Maryse takes off.

Goldust and Hornswoggle are shooting t-shirts out to the crowd.  The crowd is more interested in free t-shirts than WWE Divas.  They’re interrupted by The Miz, who is now 7 and 0 against John Cena.  He’s also got a message for Donald Trump.  If Trump is really ready to take the show to the next level, then the new face of RAW is THE MIZ!  He told everybody last week that he’d back up what he’d been saying about John Cena – and then he left him unconscious in the middle of the ring.   Tonight, he’s going to toss Cena over the top rope and then win the WWE Championship at The Bash.  Miz wants the endorsements and the movie deals and everthing.  He then realizes that Hornswoggle and Goldust are still in the ring, and tells them to get out.  Goldust says he’s disappointed by Miz’s attempt at playing mind games.  He wants to know where Miz’s creativity is.  He once gave Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth to get in his head, Miz just runs his mouth.  Goldust thinks he should change his name from The Miz to the Whiz, because when he starts talking that’s what everybody gets up to take.  Miz isn’t amused.  H calls Goldust a circus act.  Hornswoggle told Goldust to tell Miz that the real reality check is that he’s a loser.  Goldust is in no position to talk to Miz about how to succeed.  This is his fourth or fifth go-round in the WWE, every time hoping to re-capture a little bit of the magic.  In 1999 Goldust was cool, but now he’s a t-shirt shooting joke.  Goldust is a waste of The Miz’s time.  Instead, he’s going to show Donald Trump that he’s not afraid to take risks.  Miz then cheap-shots Goldust with the microphone, and slams Hornswoggle to the canvas before grabbing the t-shirt gun.  He backs Hornswoggle into the corner with the t-shirt gun and shoots him in the midsection.

Josh Matthews wanted to know if CM Punk (who has “MISAWA” written on his wrist tape) has any regrets about cashing in the Money In The Bank.  Punk says that last year nobody asked him about regrets, and he if Edge had won the ladder match, he’d probably be here as the conquering hero.  Matt Hardy tells Punk he should have no regrets, because it’s exactly what Matt would have done.  Punk says Matt Hardy wouldn’t know, because he’s never won Money In The Bank or a World Championship.  Punk says that he’s earned everything he’s won in the WWE.

• Edge heads to the ring first, followed first by Jeff Hardy and then by World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk
• “Big Fight” introductions, as has become the case with World Title matches in WWE.
• The North Carolina crowd is firmly behind the Cameron, NC native Jeff Hardy.
• Punk went for a doomsday device when Edge had Hardy up for an Electric Chair, but Hardy rolled up Edge before the impact for two.
• Punk goes for GTS on Jeff Hardy, but Edge chopblocked him out of it.
• Edge locks in the sharpshooter on Punk, but Hardy locked in a sleeper on Edge.
• Edge goes for a spear on Punk, who leapfrogs it into a Sunset Flip for a one before it’s broken up by Hardy.
• Hardy goes for the Swanton on Punk, but Edge shoves him off the top.
• Edge goes for another spear on Punk, but gets powerslammed out of it.
• Punk goes for GTS on Edge, who shoves him into a Twist of Fate attempt by Hardy, which is reversed into a GTS attempt by Hardy, who gets out of it in time to get speared by Edge for a two count.
• Punk was shoved off of the top rope and landed knee first on the steel steps.  The trainer immediately goes to Punk’s aid on the outside.
• Hardy hits a Whisper In The Wind on Edge, but Punk manages to break it up.  Hardy goes after Punk’s injured leg on the outside.
• Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Edge, followed by a Swanton.  He gets two before Punk pulls him out of the ring.
• Punk rolls back into the ring and pins Edge to retain the title!

Teddy Long comes out onto the stage to congratulate CM Punk.  He’ll be defending at The Bash against Jeff Hardy in a one on one match.

• Priceless are guest commentators for the next match
• The Hart Dynasty make their way out first.  They’re set to take on Primo and Carlito in a non-title match.
• Priceless are facing Primo and Carlito for the Unified Tag Team Championship at The Bash
• Ted DiBiase continually calls the next PPV “The Great American Bash.”
• Carlito hits the Backstabber on David Hart Smith, but Legacy attack before he can get the pinfall.  DiBiase and Rhodes stand tall in the ring when it’s over.

WWE toured Europe last week.  They did a show at an actual colosseum – how awesome is that?

Santino is backstage with Mr. McMahon.  He wanted to be clear that even though there’s a new owner, he still has a job.  Right?  I mean, what if a certain Superstar had a twin sister who everybody thought was really him because she has no cleavage, a five o’ clock shadow, and what appears to be “testiclees.”  Mr. McMahon says Trump may like Santino’s sister.  His phone then rings (his ringtone is No Chance in Hell).  It was Donald Trump, who wants to make an announcement later on tonight.  He tells Santino that he hates billionaires with big egos.  Santino says he must hate himself then.  McMahon asks Santino what he said.  Santino says he compared to Donald Trump he’s to even rich, which angers McMahon even more.  Santino suggests Mr. McMahon spend more time with the grandkids since he’s pushing 70.  60?  Not a day over 50.  Hell, Vince is younger than Santino – who excuses himself after that.

• The Battle Royal participants in order of entrance:  Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, Matt Hardy, William Regal, US Champion Kofi Kingston, The Miz, The Big Show, Triple H and John Cena.
• (Before the match starts, it’s announced that CM Punk will take on Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy will battle Chris Jericho this Friday Night on SmackDown)
• WWE Champion Randy Orton watches on from the ramp.
• Matt Hardy eliminated by The Big Show
• MVP eliminated by The Big Show
• Big Show eliminated by everybody else.
• (Thanks to JT for covering the last 10-15 minutes of the show as follows)
• They’re claiming there’s only 6 left but don’t mention the Miz being eliminated (he went out the bottom rope before the break)
• Legacy eliminates Kofi Kingston
• Legacy eliminates William Regal
• Cena eliminates Dibiase
• HHH eliminates Rhodes
• HHH pedigrees Cena
• Legacy attacks HHH
• The Miz returns
• HHH & Cena eliminate The Miz
• HHH eliminates Cena
• Your winner- HHH

Trump’s music plays.   He congrats HHH & announces that the title match won’t be at the Bash, but on RAW next week in a Last Man Standing match.

My Thoughts: Donald Trump is my hero.  I mean that, I really do.  The only problem I have is that The Donald isn’t all that great as a wrestling character, and now he owns the show.  On the bright side, Trump doesn’t have to be a wrestling character, he has to play a business man looking out for his customers, and that’s a role Donald doesn’t have to play, because he lives it every day.  The other thing is, The Donald is a busy, busy man and won’t likely be taking a hell of a lot of time out of his schedule to devote to his RAW role – and he doesn’t have to.  He can come out next week, say “I’m a very busy man, and so I’ve hired a General Manager that I can trust to handle things here on Monday Night RAW,” and then show up on the show on occasion.  The only thing I’m hoping is that this doesn’t mean McMahons overrunning SmackDown now.

Randy Orton once again wins back the WWE Championship, and all is once again right with the world.  He’s got Triple H next week on RAW in a Last Man Standing match.  Another one.  They’ve had two so far, with Orton winning the first and Triple H taking the second (and injuring Orton’s collarbone in the process).

I hate how the announcers and the other wrestlers try to make it seem like The Miz is annoying and nobody likes him.  The problem with that logic is that The Miz is the most entertaining character on the entire RAW roster – yes, even trumping you, Santino.  Believe him when he says it, because it’s absolutely 100% true – he’s The Miz… and he’s… AWESOME!

WWE must be reading BoredWrestlingFan.  Remember on Friday, I mentioned Oprah Winfrey and hoped that I’d get search engine hits for “Oprah Winfrey WWE?”  Well, they tried to steal my thunder by having Kelly Kelly or one of the Bellas ponder aloud if the new “owner” of Monday Night RAW would be Oprah.  Damn you, WWE. Damn you.

That’s it for RAW, join me later on tonight as I bring you, for the first time in months, ECW in Real Time!

The post WWE RAW Results 6/15/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

WWE

My opinions of Extreme Rules has already been expressed. So I’m going to comment on other things.

Umaga was released. A case of a guy who was pushed, then nothing. Pushed, then nothing. He had just recently come back and into the feud with CM Punk. The release comes as a bit of a shock but it isnt a surprise. He was getting pushed and pushed, and yet he wasnt getting the crowd reaction of a main event guy. Maybe he could do better in TNA. Speaking of which, guess where Mr. Kennedy’s going in September?

Vickie Guerrero quits as General Manager of RAW. Rumour has it, that she is leaving for good, to spend more time with her kids. Good for Vickie for wanting to spend time with your kids. No offence, but it seems, for the most part, you tarnished your late husband somewhat.

Greatest Race Ever! Find the race on YouTube, theres 12 parts to it, but it’s all worth it, I promise.

Triple H returns. Yes, the Game, the King of Kings returned on RAW to attack Legacy. Now, as we talked about during our Extreme Rules coverage, Hunter wasnt out for that long at all after the Scott Norwood kick. Shawn Michaels was out months, it ended the WWE career of RVD, and yet both Vince McMahon and Triple H were both out for about a month and a half. Those McMahons must have super powers or something.

TNA

To be honest, I missed iMPACT this week. due to my cable being down. Let’s see what I missed.

It doesnt look like much at all. The MMG and Lethal Consequences were named as Suicide’s opponents for the first ever X-Division King Of The Mountain. That isnt a shock at all. i’m sure I’ll have more next week.

I thought I might just put this here.

I’m gonna finish this column with a reminder to Ricardo Rosset and Taki Inoue. Poor Taki needs to watch for cars, as for Ricardo. Well, thanks for making my night a whole lot better.

Peace out, or whatever, tune in next week, and read all the columns. Oh, and avoid the beer bottles, we just turned one, so we’re breaking it in. Well I am anyways, by drinking the place dry.

The post Less than three days later … appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Who’s going where?  RAW results and my thoughts after the jump!

Batista, Shane McMahon, and Triple H all argue about who gets to beat up Orton.  Somehow this ends up leading to a match later on tonight with the three of them taking on Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.  Apparently, if I heard right when I finally ended up getting home, if DiBiase and Rhodes won, whoever they pinned would be in a 3-0n-1 handicapped match against Legacy, but if Batista, Shane, and Triple H won, whoever scored the pinfall would get Orton next week.

In a match I’m sure I’m going to enjoy when I fire up the DVR tomorrow, RAW’s Rey Mysterio went for a draft pick against ECW’s Evan Bourne.   The WWE Intercontinental Champion picks up the win and the draft pick.

DRAFT PICK:  WWE United States Champion MVP to RAW

Remember a couple years ago when Bobby Lashley was forced to give up the ECW Championship when he got drafted to RAW?  Yeah, me neither.

Next up, SmackDown looks for redemption as the blue brand’s The Brian Kendrick takes on RAW’s  Big Red Machine Kane!  I’m sure you can guess how this one went.  The Big Red Monster picks up a draft pick for the red brand.

DRAFT PICK:  THE BIG SHOW to RAW

Two for RAW, none for anybody else.  It’s almost like a Kit-Kat commercial!

Time to give the Divas something to do.  Another six Diva tag team match sees WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Natalya representing SmackDown to take on RAW’s WWE Women’s Champion Melina, Mickie James, and Kelly Kelly.  The SmackDown Divas finally pick up a draft pick for their show with their victory here.

DRAFT PICK:  WWE Women’s Champion MELINA to SMACKDOWN

For many years, the secondary and Women’s Championships have stayed on their respective brands through the drafts, but now we’ve seen two of those change hands in the course of one night.  More to come?

It’s Champion vs. Champion for two draft picks!  Normally, that would mean the WWE Champion taking on the World Heavyweight Champion, but since Triple H is busy tonight, the WWE will actually acknowledge the ECW Championship and it’s current holder, Jack Swagger, as he shoots for two picks for ECW against RAW’s World Heavyweight Champion John Cena.  Of course, Cena can’t be seen losing to a guy on the C show, so chalk up two more picks for the flagship show, Monday Night RAW!

DRAFT PICK:  MATT HARDY to RAW

DRAFT PICK:  WWE Champion TRIPLE H to RAW

My one actual prediction turned out to be a good one, as the WWE Championship is coming back to the Red brand.  If I was forced to make a prediction earlier I probably would have said “one of the Hardys to RAW,” but I’d actually have been leaning more towards Jeff.

With a little urging from Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez, there’s more on the line in the next match than a draft pick.  If RAW’s Santino Marella can’t score a draft pick from SmackDown’s The Great Khali, then Khali will score not only a draft pick, but a kiss from Santino’s twin sister Santina on an episode of Khali’s Kiss Cam.  Needless to say, Santino couldn’t secure the victory and SmackDown gets another pick.

DRAFT PICK:  CM PUNK to SMACKDOWN

With both World Champions (no offense, Jack Swagger) on RAW, it looks like Mr. Money in the Bank will have to save a brand from being without a World Champion for the second straight year if Cena doesn’t get drafted and Edge doesn’t take the title from him.

Looking to get ECW it’s first draft pick of the night, The Miz takes on RAW’s Kofi Kingston. Unfortunately for The Miz, John Morrison inadvertantly got him disqualified, earning RAW yet another pick.

DRAFT PICK:  THE MIZ to RAW

Just like that, the Bro-mance is over.  The duo embraced in the ring one last time before Miz decided to prove that it’s over by dropping Morrison with the Reality Check.  It may be the end of The Dirt Sheet era, but perhaps it’s the start of something bigger for the former Real World star?

Last year, Edge won two draft picks for SmackDown in a 15 man tri-branded battle royal.  This year, he’s once again a part of team SmackDown, along with Chavo Guerrero, Primo, Carlito, and R-Truth.  The RAW team is showing off some new acquisitions, with The Big Show and MVP joining Mike Knox and Cryme Tyme.  ECW is represented by Finlay, Mark Henry, Tyson Kidd, Paul Burchill, and Ricky Ortiz.  It came down to Edge, Big Show, and Henry in the ring.  Show eliminated Henry, but Edge managed to cause the giant to eliminate himself, earning, for the second straight year, two picks for SmackDown.

DRAFT PICK:  KANE to SMACKDOWN

DRAFT PICK:  CHRIS JERICHO to SMACKDOWN

Wow, they’re not sure what they want to do with Kane.  Nevertheless, he and Jericho will both find new opponents to work with on Friday Nights, which will do both of them some good.

ECW has another chance to finally score a pick for their brand, and it rests on te shoulders of Christian, who faces SmackDown’s Shelton Benjamin.  A pretty decent match for what little time they had to work with, but in the end Christian brings home a draft pick!

DRAFT PICK:  VLADIMIR KOZLOV to ECW

I certainly didn’t see that one coming, but to be honest, it should have been expected.  Kozlov hasn’t been seen much on SmackDown, but he’ll be a dominant force on Tuesday nights.

Newly appointed RAW Superstar Matt Hardy looks to bring another superstar with him to the red brand, but standing in his way is one of SmackDown’s latest acquisition, CM Punk.  A pretty decent match between these guys gave RAW another pick when Jeff Hardy attacked brother Matt in mid match.

DRAFT PICK:  WWE Diva’s Champion MARYSE to RAW

The Women’s Championships both switched brands tonight, as did the United States Championship and the WWE Championship.  Perhaps another belt will change hands later on in the show?

Chris Jericho looks to help out his new brand by scoring them a draft pick, but to do so, he’ll have to get through ECW’s Tommy Dreamer, which he does, earning RAW one more pick.

WWE DRAFT:  WWE Intercontinental Champion REY MYSTERIO to SMACKDOWN

With his victory here, Chris Jericho brings with him to SmackDown not only the WWE Intercontinental Championshp and it’s holder, Rey Mysterio, bu t also a large part of the Hispanic audience.

In a match with absolutely zero Draft implications, Triple H picked up the pinfall as he, Batista, and Shane McMahon took on Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.  The Game will face Randy Orton one on one in a non title match next week on RAW!

Sounds like I didn’t really miss a whole lot by missing the show, but still, being the Draft episode for the year, it was probably worth watching.  There wil lb e a supplemental draft on Wednesday at noon EDT, and I’ll be here covering it, right here on BoredWrestlingFan!

The post Who’s going where? RAW, 4/13/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Welcome lads, lasses and haemaphs. It’s me once again, on yet another Wednesday, fresh off Real-Time for WrestleMania XXV. For those who didnt catch it, then read the thread, situated just a couple of posts down. For those that did, then let’s continue.

If you remember, my head and my heart gave their predictions for WMXXV. Well the results are in! My head picked a grand total of … 2! Undertaker, and the 25th Diva, Santina Marella. My heart on the other hand, didnt get all 9, but still beat my head. My heart picked 4. Triple H, Chris Jericho, Santina Marella and Matt Hardy. These results leave one question. Is it better to pick with your head, or your heart? When it came to WMXXV? Your heart was the one you should’ve went for.

Onto non-Wrestlemania news. Batista is back.

Onto news that people will care about, Tank Johnson has signed a 1-year deal with the Bengals. The same Tank Johnson who, well I’ll let his Wikipedia page tell you. The link is the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_Johnson.

With Lockdown less than two weeks away, the only match I care about, is of course the Tag Title match between Team 3D and the one and only, Beer Money Inc. The rest of the card can go to hell. Anything that involves Kurt Angle, I’m trying to ignore him, in an attempt he goes away. It hasnt worked so far, but these things don’t happen overnight.

Finally, in conjuction with vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com, I am starting a competition. It’s based on this commercial for Roses chocolates Commercial. In it, it says that by thanking someone, you give them a box of Roses chocolates. For example, Thank you very much for watering my garden, and you give them chocolates. What this competititon is, well, it’s simple. What’s the most inapproapriate thing you can think of, yet be thanked with Roses chocolates?

Thank you very much for … then you add the rest.

For those who dont understand, I’ll give you a few examples. Thank you very much for … killing my family. Thank you very much for … making me sit through a Kurt Angle match. Now, those examples cant be used, but surely you can come up with better ones than that. The competiton ends soon, so get a-creating.

Thats all for this Wednesday, I have been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, asking you,  Would you like some knives?

or

Maybe you’d like these knives?

The post W is for Wednesday, Wrestlemania and … appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

WWE Champion Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Trips wins. As if there’s any doubt. This was a storyline that really could have gone places. It did, but all the wrong places. Randy Orton was hotter than he had ever been, and people were absolutely into him. This whole story just got dragged out too long, and should have been left alone earlier. I’ll probably get slammed majorly for this, but the last thing that I wanted to see was the McMahon family stepping up to the Legacy at the end of RAW. This could have been THE moment for Orton and the Legacy. It won’t.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show (Triple Threat Match)

John Cena wins. Again, it’s not necessarily the best idea, but no way is this guy losing at Mania. I like a comedy love triangle story as much as anyone, but this one really hasn’t clicked well. Wrestlemania should be about the titles and major feuds, and throwing the “Who will Win Vickie Guerrero?” aspect into the match really cheapens it. A World Heavyweight Championship Title match does not need that type of extra flavor.

Intercontinental Champion JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

This match screams “Oh crap! We forgot to put the guy who single-handedly draws the Hispanic demographic on the show!” The IC title should be a major reward, not a consolation prize, which is what it looks like by having JBL win it and Rey challenging for it. With all of JBL’s promises to do something legendary at Mania, look for him to retain the IC title, retire it, and take his rightful place at the announce table.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy (Extreme Rules Match)

This looks to be really good. Matt versus Jeff couldn’t really have happened before this year and actually worked, and I’m hoping to see an absolutely unbridled vicious side of Matt Hardy in this match. Matt has pushed and pushed Jeff, but this story isn’t ready to end at Mania. It really hasn’t played out long enough. There’s still more to come, and with that thought in mind, Matt wins after using his more grounded technical skills and savage brutality to take out the more daredevil Jeff. Jeff really shouldn’t win until the feud is ready to end, and it shouldn’t yet. I’m all for things beginning and ending at Mania, but this story just doesn’t feel complete.

WWE Tag Team Champions [Carlito and Primo Colon] vs. World Tag Team Champions [The Miz and John Morrison] (Unified Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match)

The Miz and John Morrison win, and unify the tag team belts. Please don’t let this match come down to the interference of the feuding and still interchangeable Bella twins! Please? The fact that there’s as much focus on these two twits as there is on the actual tag teams and belts causes concern. No title unification match at Wrestlemania should hang on the interference of irrelevant valets. Period.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Undertaker wins, and the Streak (insert Ray Stevens song here) remains intact. This match will be great. Probably the match of the night. And well should it be, considering the two guys involved. The fact that Mania is in Texas, and both Michaels and Taker are from Texas, will kick this match off the chart. However, the very idea that Shawn Michaels should be the one to end Undertaker’s Mania win streak is incomprehensible. The Streak is almost as legendary as the man who holds it. The person who ends it, if anyone ever does (and it might not ought to be ended at all), would be catapulted to the highest level and be forever remembered in the annals of pro wrestling as the guy who ended a legendary winning streak. Michaels doesn’t need that. He’s already a legend in his own right, and, in a sense, ending Taker’s streak would be wasted on him. It’s not as if he suddenly needs to get over after a lengthy absence. If someone is going to finally defeat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, it should not be Shawn Michaels.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match (Mark Henry, Finley, CM Punk, Kane, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, MVP [US Champion], Christian)

I would love to see CM Punk win this because CM Punk rules. He’s my favorite guy in the match, and I’m totally biased in his favor. The fact that he has already won it once, though, makes it unlikely. As much as I love Punk, he really shouldn’t even be in this match. Previous winners shouldn’t be in it again, and if they must, it should be quite a while. Several years, possibly. Punk should be in a one-on-one Mania match, which is described below. Christian winning the MITB would be amazing, because he would then be in a position to insert himself in angles involving Edge or the Hardys afterwards. He’s certainly the most experienced “ladder match” guy of the lot. However, Vince doesn’t see him as a star, and the MITB isn’t just a ladder match. It’s a guaranteed title shot, and I don’t see Christian being allowed that at this point. Therefore, with my first choice (CM Punk) and my second choice (Christian) being highly unlikely, I’m calling MVP to win it. He has the US title, which means that he’ll probably have to lose it to someone before cashing in his title shot. This could be the start of a major angle for MVP if he wins.

25-Diva Battle Royal for title of “Miss WrestleMania”

Ugh. This is a complete waste, but not for the reasons one might assume. Lance Storm was completely right when he said that this match was a good idea because it gave more of the women a piece of the big Mania payday, which they would not otherwise get. That much is absolutely fair. Unfortunately for them, a 25-person over-the-top-rope elimination battle royal is going to be a giant mess no matter who is in it. That’s just too many people in one ring at a time, and all of them can’t even wrestle to begin with. Candice Michelle and Ashley Massaro won’t be involved, so the chances of serious injury for everyone else in the match just went down. Some of the truly important former Divas aren’t going to be involved, and it really doesn’t feel significant. Sunny will be there, as will Victoria, Torrie Wilson, Jackie Gayda-Haas, and Molly Holly, but let’s look at the list of those who will not. Wendy Richter turned them down, supposedly. Sable and Dawn Marie are both pregnant, and won’t be there. Lita won’t be there, and after how she was treated at the end of her tenure, one can’t blame her at all. The Fabulous Moolah is no longer with us, not that she should have won such a thing, but come on, it’s Moolah. Mae Young won’t be involved in the match itself, but, to be fair, she IS almost 90 years old now. Amy Weber and Joy Giovanni don’t count as major contributors, but they won’t be there. Christy Hemme and Jacqueline (the original Jackie) obviously weren’t asked, as they currently work for TNA. Gail Kim is there. Terri Runnels isn’t. Debra won’t be there. I don’t personally know about Chyna (unlikely) or Jazz. There may not even be 25 women to put in the match by the time it’s all done. With some of the truly legendary Divas not being involved in this match, the original point seems to have been lost. Even so, I call Trish Stratus to win, as she deserves the title of “Miss Wrestlemania” (such as it is) more than anyone, past or present.

Chris Jericho vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat & Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka (w/ Ric Flair)

This is terrible. Chris Jericho wrestling three old guys who can barely move, bona fide legends though they may be, is a very bad decision. Sure, this could all be a swerve and Stone Cold comes out at the actual show to defend the honor of legends everywhere, and it’s really a one-on-one match. The entire angle also could have and should have served the purpose of elevating someone who stepped up to fight on behalf of the legends who inspired him to get into wrestling in the first place. Someone like CM Punk would have been perfect for this, despite the fact that Punk has already been World Champion once. Imagine the absolute GOLD that a promo war between Jericho and Punk would have been! Jericho takes out legend after legend, then Punk steps up and announces that he’s had enough of the disrespect, and that if Jericho wants to bully someone, he can try to bully him. Part of Punk’s appeal to the masses is that he’s one of us, a regular guy who was a fan, and who just happened to have the talent and drive to realize his wrestling dream. Inspiration from legends such as these three is almost built in to the story. This would have been a great Mania match. At least the match of Jericho/Punk wouldn’t have given away the winner. It could have gone either way. No such luck here. Jericho loses at Mania, no matter who and how many he faces in the ring. Aside from the fact that he has already succeeded in beating up the legends, no way is the feel-good vibe of Mania being sullied by evil Jericho winning. Jericho will not only lose, he’ll do so in utterly humiliating fashion. Jericho and the fans deserve better than this.

Let’s see what happens!

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

The post More Mania Thoughts and Predictions appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Full RAW results, after the jump!

A casket is pulls into the arena to start the show.

RAW just wants to be loved, and so do the WWE Divas, apparently, as there’s NINE of them heading to the ring.  I’m not even going to bother putting the time and effort into naming them all, especially since there’s NINE MORE in the ring.

Nine wastes of tv time Divas def. Nine other wastes of tv time Divas

This was a huge clusterf*@k right from the start and it’s all to build up to the 25 Diva battle royal at WrestleMania.  In the end it was some blonde pinning some brunette.  Let’s say it was ECW’s Tiffany pinning ECW’s Katie Lea.

After the match, Santino Marella comes to the ring and proclaims he wants equal rights.  He says that he’s not going to beat up the Divas in the ring, but he is going to beat their brains in – in a swimsuit competition!  Santino reveals a Borat style man-kini before the Divas toss him from the ring.  Beth tries to cover him up as they head to the back.

Hey, remember last week when Randy Orton handcuffed Triple H to the ropes, then DDTed Stephanie and kissed her in front of The Game?!?  You do?  Well too bad, you’re going to watch it again anyway.

Later tonight, Randy Orton’s WrestleMania Address.  But up next, Jerry “The King” Lawler takes on Chris Jericho!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Hey, remember last week when Chris Jericho beat the crap out of Ric Flair and broke his watch?  Yeah, so do I.  Let’s watch it again!

Chris Jericho def. Jerry “The King” Lawler

Lawler is still convincing in the ring.  Even though I know better, when Jerry Lawler steps in the ring, I always feel like there’s a chance he’s going to win.  He didn’t get completely annihilated here, but he still wound up tapping out in the Walls of Jericho.

After the match, Jericho tries slapping The King around, but Lawler decks Jericho with a right.  Jericho retreats, taking a microphone with him.  Lawler invites Jericho back in the ring, but Jericho says forget it.  He already beat Lawler.  It’s not a question about how he’s going to beat Snuka, Steamboat, and Piper at ‘Mania, it’s a matter of how badly he’s going to beat them.  He wants to remind us that he didn’t start it, Mickey Rourke did.  Because he called out Jericho and didn’t follow through, his three friends will meet their demise at the hands of Chris Jericho.

John Cena had a new movie come out this past Friday.  Did you see it?  No?  Well, don’t worry, nobody else did either.

Later on tonight, John Cena takes on The Big Show

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Two weeks ago, John Cena got knocked the f*#k out by The Big Show.  One week ago, Edge got knocked the f*#k out by The Big Show.   This week, Todd Grisham is backstage with John Cena.

Before Grisham can ask a question, Edge walks into the room with his big shiny gold belt.  He says Cena’s got no chance at ‘Mania.  Show knocked both of them out over the last two weeks.  If they work together though, they can take him out and fight each other for the World Heavyweight Championship.  If they don’t do that, they’re sitting ducks.  Cena agrees, but he doesn’t care.  He doesn’t like Edge and he doesn’t trust him.  He’d rather lose on his own than win with his help.  He’s not worried about that though, he’s going to WrestleMania to take the World Heavyweight Championship.

Michael Cole is all by himself, and he tells us that later on, Orton is going to deliver his WrestleMania address.  What is he going to say?  Let’s ask Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase.  They give us some vague talk about the WWE changing forever.

We see the hearse again, and this time they take a casket out of it.  They open it up, and Shawn Michaels, with a huge booger in his nose, says…  well, we can’t hear him.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Some skank from some skank band is going to be at WrestleMania.  Aren’t you excited!?!

Before the break, HBK asked if we were expecting someone else in the casket.  Apparently The Undertaker was going to have a funeral for HBK, but HBK turned the tables.

Jerry Lawler comes back to the announce table, and a midget in a Rey Mysterio mask follows him out.  Oh wait – that’s really Rey Mysterio, who takes on JBL at WrestleMania.  And also, he takes him on right now.  JBL explains that he’s trying to get into Rey’s head by beating him tonight.  Guess what happens.  Go on, guess.

Rey Mysterio def. JBL

That’s right.  JBL wanted to prove a point to Rey Rey, but a 619 later and Mysterio may have just proven a point to JBL instead.

Up next, it’s John Cena vs. The Big Show.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania XI:  Bam Bam Bigelow was somehow defeated by Lawrence Taylor.

The Dallas Cowboys are in the audience.  Lawler asks where T.O. is.  Cole reminds him that TO is in “Upstate New York.”  You know what, Michael Cole?  As much as I hate T.O. and the rest of the Buffalo Bills, it’s “WESTERN” New York, you stupid shit.

John Cena heads down to the ring.  He’s got some aggression to get out of his system, because his movie bombed Big Show knocked him out two weeks ago.  The Big Show’s got some aggression to get out, too, simply because Captain Insano shows no mercy!

Big Show def. John Cena

Show looks dominant going in to WrestleMania.  Hell, he just beat John Cena cleanly with a Chokeslam!

After the match, Edge comes in through the crowd and beats the crap out of John Cena.  Edge looks back at The Big Show with a crazy look in his eyes.

Later tonight, Randy Orton’s WrestleMania address.  Right now though, let’s watch HBK’s promo – and subsequent escape from The Undertaker – this past Friday on SmackDown.  Speaking of HBK, he’s leading a progression of pallbearers – not to be confused with Paul Bearer – toward the arena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Remember before the break when The Big Show beat John Cena?  Well, pretend you don’t, because we get to see it again.

The Undertaker’s music is playing, the blue lights are on, and a casket is in the ring.  The music turns to that of Shawn Michaels, who makes his way down to the faux wake in the ring.  Next to the casket are pictures of a triumphant HBK standing over The Undertaker on different occasions.  The music switches back to that of The Undertaker’s.  HBK is a man unafraid.  The whole procession, it’s not for him, it’s for The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak.  HBK’s never lost to The Undertaker.  Taker’s done a lot, but he’s never managed to beat HBK.  Over the past several weeks, HBK’s Superkicked The Undertaker, he’s treaded on the hallowed grounds of his victim’s graves, and this past Friday, he showed how his light will forever outshine Undertaker’s darkness, and he’s done it without the slightest bit of concequence.  Not a hint of retribution.  HBK flings open the casket to show us that Taker isn’t in it.  There will be no retribution.  Taker says he uses ‘Mania to show the world what he represents.  HBK takes the fact that Undertaker doesn’t think he can end the undefeated streak as a personal insult.  Every moment over the past 24 years will pale in comparison to what HBK achieves.  The next day, they’ll talk about the world title, the WWE Championship, they’ll speak of legends and ladders and 70,000 people, but the one moment that will last forever will be when Shawn Michaels pins The Undertaker.   The bell tolls and the lights go out.  When they come back on, it’s Undertaker in the ring, but Shawn Michaels is nowhere to be found.  Taker destroys the props around the casket, then realizes that HBK must be inside of it.  He raises the lid, poised to strike, but alas, no HBK.  When Taker turns around in frustration, HBK crawls out from underneath and nails Undertaker with Sweet Chin Music!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Before the break… ah, you can look up above the break.  You’re not stupid.

This Saturday night at 10PM on USA, it’s the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.  Also this Saturday night, JT’s and my favorite band of all time, Metallica, will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

We get a rundown of the WrestleMania card.

Backstage, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are confering with security.

In the arena, the Money In The Bank briefcase is hanging above the ring.  You know what that means – another 8 man clusterf*#k.  Sure enough, one by one, the MitB participants head to the ring for an 8 man battle royal.  Which is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

I hate reviewing battle royals.  It’s hard to keep up sometimes.  Finlay gets eliminated first by Mark Henry, who was distracted by Hornswoggle long enough to get dumped out by everybody else himself.  Kane took out MVP and Shelton Benjamin who were battling on the apron.  CM Punk eliminated Kofi Kingston.  Kane then tosses Punk at Christian, who is standing on the apron, sending both men crashing to the floor to win.

After the match, Kane climbs the ladder and grabs the briefcase, symbolizing that he thinks he’s going to win at ‘Mania.

Backstage, Orton and Rhodes knock on Goldberg’s Orton’s door.  Orton’s WrestleMania address is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kid Rock is performing at WrestleMania 25 for some reason.

Randy Orton hears voices in his head.  They’re apparently telling him which way the ring is, because that’s where he’s heading.  Somebody gives him a microphone, and he says that at the age of 24 he became the youngest World Champion in the history of the WWE.  It was the greatest moment in his life, but it was short lived.  The next night on RAW, the man he thought was his friend turned on him in a fit of jealous rage.  Let’s go to the videotape!  That night, everything started to fall into place.  The Game ruined his life, and he decided to ruin Triple H’s.  He had to wait.  He had to form a group, he had to find something Triple H cared about more than the WWE Championship.  His quest began in January when he eliminated Triple H to win the Royal Rumble.  He earned the right to face Triple H and take his title at WrestleMania, but it wasn’t enough.  He had to raise the stakes.  He had to take everything away from Triple H that he cared about, so he chose his family – the most powerful family in the WWE, the McMahons.  Vince, Shane, and Triple H’s wife Stephanie.  Back to the videotape!  Almost five years after Triple H turned on Orton, he RKO’d his wife.  He wants to make something clear – he knew exactly what he was doing the entire time.  I.E.D.?  Nope.  He knew what he was doing the entire time.   He knew Triple H would retaliate.  He did, he took a sledgehammer to Rhodes and DiBiase, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to take to make Triple H feel confident so he’d let his guard down, which would allow Orton to handcuff Triple H to the ropes and DDT Stephanie before planting a kiss on her.  Let’s go to the videotape – again!  Every time Triple H and Orton lock up, every time Triple H tries to throw a punch, he’ll see the man who DDTed his wife and kissed her.  If he brings a sledgehammer, well, too bad.  It will be an automatic disqualification, and interim GM Vickie Guerrero says that the title will change hands on a countout or disqualification in this match.  When Orton takes the WWE Championship, the landscape of the WWE  will change.  A limo pulls into the arena, and Orton asks for the lights to be turned on and calls for his Legacy brothers and the security guards to come to the ring.  Backstage, the limo doors are open and nobody is in it.  Orton calls out Triple H, saying that if it’s him, he’ll take him out tonight…

No chance….

Mr. McMahon is here and he means business!  He takes off his tie, rolls up his sleeve, and…

Here comes the money….

Shane McMahon joins him on the stage!  Vince points toward the entrance, and…

It’s time to play the game…

Triple H joins his Father-In-Law and Brother-In-Law.  A look of terror washes over Orton’s face.  The McMahons and the WWE Champion easily dispose of the security guards, then hit the ring to face off with Legacy.  Legacy try to cut them off, but it’s the McMahons and Triple H that have the upper hand!  Orton and Triple H stumble into the ring and brawl as RAW goes off the air!

My thoughts: Well, apparently we’re going to have to watch ECW to catch the end of the Triple H/Randy Orton brawl.  Orton’s promo was great, but the return of Vince and Shane McMahon was a complete surprise.  The good kind of surprise.

Speaking of good kinds of surprises, HBK completely getting the best of The Undertaker throughout this whole feud has been a nice surprise.  They stole the show again tonight, much like they’ll do on Sunday.

Paint Fingers says she’s going to be scarred for life at the thought of Santino in a Man-kini.  I’m sure a lot of people will.

I seriously just can’t wait for Sunday!

The post WWE RAW Review – 3/30/09 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

How different?  Find out after the jump!

In life, there are winners and there are losers…

You can’t mess with perfection. There are a few things that have happened on WWE television leading up to WrestleMania that I completely agree with and would not change. One such instance is the match pitting the WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito, against the World Heavyweight Champions, The Miz and John Morrison. The only things I would change are the involvement of the Bella Twins (it’s unnecessary) and the Lumberjack stipulation. Other than that, you’ve got two very talented tag teams, both with tag team gold around their waists, battling it out to see who truly is the greatest tag team in wrestling today. I’m very much for the unification of the tag team championships, so we’ll leave this one alone.

Sometimes, it’s hell getting to heaven…

Once again, another storyline I would have booked very similarly to how WWE has done it. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker have a very storied history, and given the fact that both men are synonymous with WrestleMania, a match between the two makes perfect sense. While I did think the JBL/HBK storyline ended pretty abruptly, there wasn’t anywhere else for it to really go as far as using it to set up Undertaker/HBK at ‘Mania. At least not anything that would let HBK have the freedom to do the kind of things that he’s been doing to get under the dead man’s skin. Again, we’ll leave this one alone.

Swaggertime!

Matt Hardy will go on a completely different career path starting with the Royal Rumble. He will still lose his championship to Jack Swagger and fail to recapture it at the Rumble. Instead of taking it out on brother Jeff, Christian would instead return to cost Jeff the WWE Championship in his Rumble match with Edge. Matt then qualifies for Money in the Bank. As far as Swagger, we’ll come back to him later on.

The Rated R Champion

After winning back his WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble with help from his brother Christian, Edge successfully retains his title in the SmackDown Elimination Chamber at No Way Out. Christian, a participant in the match, chooses to sacrifice his own title aspirations to help his brother retain the WWE Championship. We’ll come back to those two later on.

The Champ is STILL here!

Edge isn’t the only champion to crush his challengers’ championship dreams. John Cena survives RAW’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out to walk out the same way he walked in – the World Heavyweight Champion. Little does Cena know, he’s about to become a part of the biggest main event in WrestleMania history…

The true dominant Diva

After a confrontation on RAW, WWE Divas Champion Maryse and WWE Womens Champion Melina start a heated rivalry, with Divas from not only those two brands, but also Divas from ECW and past WWE Divas getting involved. This inevitably leads to a 25 Diva battle royal – not for the title of “Miss WrestleMania,” but for the title of Unified WWE Divas Champion!

History in the making

John “Bradshaw” Layfield is determined to make history in his home state of Texas at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania. To guarantee himself a spot on the card, he defeats CM Punk for the Intercontinental Championship. Two weeks later on SmackDown, MVP defeats Shelton Benjamin for the United States Championship, only to turn around into a Clothesline from Hell. The gauntlet has been thrown down, and MVP, who is on a roll, decides to accept the challenge in a unification match for the Intercontinental and United States Championships.

Laughing all the way to the bank

Matt Hardy, as mentioned earlier, becomes the first to qualify for Money in the Bank. His brother Jeff also qualifies, as does Christian. CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Hurricane Helms, Evan Bourne, and Rey Mysterio qualify soon after, and our match is set.

You’re not a Wrestler, but you play one in a movie

Mickey Rourke starts making the media rounds again after failing to win an Oscar for his role as Randy “The Ram” in his film The Wrestler. He blames Chris Jericho for the loss and claims that he will show up at WrestleMania and make Jericho pay. Jericho, unafraid, tells Rourke that if he bothers to show up at WrestleMania, Jericho will show him what it’s like to actually be a wrestler. What Jericho doesn’t know is that Rourke is in training with Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, and Jimmy Snuka, all of whom will be in his corner come WrestleMania as he takes on Chris Jericho.

If Scott Norwood were Randy Orton, the Bills would’ve won the Super Bowl in 1991

Randy Orton’s story will remain relatively unchanged. He takes out the McMahons one by one until Triple H reveals himself to be Stephanie’s husband. He asks to get Orton in the ring at WrestleMania, but the threat of a lawsuit from Orton if he’s denied his title shot prevents his request from being granted.

The best wrestler on the face of the planet

One night removed from retaining his World Heavyweight Championship in a grueling Elimination Chamber, John Cena hits the ring on Monday Night RAW with his belt in tow. He cuts a promo, pointing towards the belt draped over his shoulder and telling us that “This belt symbolizes that I am the best wrestler alive today.” This doesn’t sit well with Jack Swagger. The next night on ECW, the ECW Champion addresses Cena, saying that Cena may have the World Heavyweight Championship, but that he’s a two time All American American and the ECW Champion, which means that he’s the best wrestler alive today. By Friday, WWE Champion Edge decides he’s heard enough. There’s no question about who the best wrestler in the world is – it’s Edge. He suggests that if Swagger and Cena think they can prove that they’re better, they should face him in a triple threat winner take all match, and that he’ll be on RAW Monday to get their answer. True to his word, the WWE Champion brings his belt with him to RAW. John Cena and Jack Swagger meet him in the ring. Both are intrigued by the opportunity to unify their titles with the others and prove that they truly are the best wrestler alive, and they agree to the match. Randy Orton interrupts the proceedings with his attorney, and reminds everybody that as the Royal Rumble winner, he is entitled to a shot at the champion of his choosing. He makes his decision – since all three Champions want at each other, why not make it a fatal four way match? Interim RAW General Manager Vickie Guerrero appears on the ramp and says that it sounds like a great idea to her, so a fatal four way it will be. Linda McMahon appears on the TitanTron, and says she has an announcement. The WWE Board of Directors has been following the situation closely and has determined that there is not going to be a fatal four way match to unify the championships of the three brands. Instead, there is going to be a five man elimination match to unify the titles. The participants will be WWE Champion Edge, ECW Champion Jack Swagger, World Heavyweight Champion John Cena, Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton, and the fifth man will be… TRIPLE H!

ThinkSoJoE’s final WrestleMania card

Unified United States/Intercontinental Championship: WWE Intercontinental Champion JBL vs. WWE United States Champion MVP

Unified WWE World Tag Team Championship: World Tag Team Champions Miz & Morrison vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Primo & Carlito

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Christian vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Hurricane Helms vs. Evan Bourne vs. CM Punk

Chris Jericho vs. Mickey Rourke w/ Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper, and Jimmy Snuka

Unified WWE Divas Championship: 25 Diva Battle Royal

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

5 way elimination match for the Unified WWE World Championship: WWE Champion Edge vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. ECW Champion Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H

What do you think?

The post How I would have booked WrestleMania 25 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Speaking of Blue, I haven’t watched SmackDown from this past Friday yet, but here are the results for your reading pleasure:

Triple H says he’s the cure for the disease that is Randy Orton. Then he beat Vladimir Kozlov.

MVP recaptured the United States Championship, defeating Shelton Benjamin.

Shawn Michaels defeated Kane

Jeff Hardy beat The Brian Kendrick in an extreme rules match. We find out that Jeff’s match with brother Matt at WrestleMania will also be extreme rules.

The Von Erich family is being inducted into the hall of fame by Michael P.S. Hayes

The Undertaker defeated JBL

Vickie Guerrero announced that the winner of the triple threat at WrestleMania will win her heart. This led to an altercation between Edge, The Big Show, and John Cena that left Vickie victimized by an accidental spear from Edge. Big Show carried Vickie off.

The post New Skin: BlueMania 25 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

First, there was the attack the night before Survivor Series. Jeff is out of action, he can’t compete in the WWE Championship match, and Edge swoops in to win the title. The following Friday on SmackDown, Jeff competed in a “Beat the Clock Challenge.” Jeff’s match was first, where he set the pace. Matt was the opponent of Vladimir Kozlov in the challenge, and he did everything in his power to prevent Kozlov from beating Jeff’s time. This shows Matt as being supportive of his brother, rather than trying to harm him. Ultimately, Jeff tied with Triple H in the challenge and went on to a Triple Threat match at Armageddon.

Triple H had the WWE Championship won at Armageddon when Vladimir Kozlov interfered and prevented him from getting the pinfall on Edge. Matt came out and attacked Kozlov. Matt’s attack on Kozlov would make no sense if he were working with Edge, because Edge was the one Kozlov saved. Jeff went on to win the match and the WWE Championship.

In the weeks that followed, the Hardys worked together, competing in tag team matches and supporting each other as a part of the “Hardy Party,” which saw both men as World Champions. A few weeks later, mysterious things started to happen to Jeff.

First, there was the hit-and-run accident. If you watch the “police video,” the policeman asked Jeff if he know the person who hit him. Jeff said that he’d never seen him before in his life. I’m pretty sure that Jeff would have recognized his own brother, even if he didn’t know the vehicle.

Over the course of the next week, Matt loses the ECW Championship to Jack Swagger, and Jeff returns to SmackDown, only to be blown up when the pyrotechnics were tampered with. This is the only thing that’s happened to Jeff that the storyline will allow me to believe could have been done by Matt. Matt was in the building, Matt was upset because he lost his title, and perhaps he was jealous because Jeff still had his. Not to mention that Matt was the last person to come out and check on his little brother as he was being rolled away on a stretcher.

The attack at the Royal Rumble shouldn’t have been that surprising, and maybe things look suspicious, but if you look at the facts presented here, it’s clearly not Matt who did all those crazy things to Jeff…

The post A look at the Hardys storyline appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Full results and thoughts after the jump!

Time to play the game… TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
Triple H, who was virtually a non-factor last week, is here with a sledgehammer in hand.  Later on tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on The Big Show in one on one competition, but for now, Triple H is ready for action.  He’s also got something to say.   He says that you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, spit in the wind, pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, and you don’t do this.  Do what?  Well, the video from Armageddon shows that “this” is screwing the Game out of the WWE Championship and throwing him into the steel steps a la Vladimir Kozlov.  The Game says Kozlov has a price to pay, and he’ll collect with his sledgehammer.  It almost happened last week, but Kozlov escaped.  Almost doesn’t work for H-cubed, he wants Kozlov and he wants him now.

Ooooh, Chavo!

Chavo Guerrero must’ve screwed up Vickie’s coffee again, because she sent him out here to inform The Game that she’s not happy about The Game’s interference last week.  If he ever does that again, he won’t be in the Royal Rumble, and he’ll never get another WWE Championship match.  This isn’t RAW, Triple H doesn’t call the shots.  Vickie does.  Trips said that he wishes Vickie would’ve come out herself, but she probably couldn’t fit through the big door over there.  Chavo says she’s on a diet, she can fit.  Trips says it’s not that big of a door.  The Game says that unlike Vickie, Chavo truly is a Guerrero, but he’s become an errand boy.  He goes and gets coffee and donuts and stuff like that – he’s a gopher.  The Guerrero’s that Trips knew would have the guts to come out and tell him anything they needed to say to his face.  Chavo starts toward the ring, but then thinks better of it and heads up the ramp.  Vickie comes out, Chavo puts his arm around her, and the crowd won’t let her talk until Triple H asks them to show some respect.  She says Triple H can’t insult her nephew.  Chavo’s learned from the very best, and he’s going to prove it right now.  She calls for a referee, it’s going to be Triple H vs. Chavo Guerrero, right now!

Triple H dumps the sledgehammer outside the ring, and we’re underway!

Triple H def. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo goes straight after The Cereberal Assassin, taking the early advantage in the match.  He pulls the padding off of the top turnbuckle, then grabs a steel chair from ringside.  While the referee goes to fix the buckle, Chavo throws the chair to Triple H and lies down.  Triple H throws the chair out of the ring.  Chavo tries to tell the ref that Triple H hit him with a chair, but the ref doesn’t believe him.  One Pedigree later, Triple H has the victory.

After the match, The Game goes out and gets his sledgehammer.  He looks up the aisle at Vickie Guerrero, then nails Chavito right in the sternum with his weapon of choice as Vickie looks on with disdain.

Later tonight – Maryse challenges Michelle McCool for the Diva’s Championship, but up next, it’s Hurricane Helms going for gold himself as he challenges Shelton Benjamin for the United States Championship!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to a vingette for Kizarny, who is debuting next week on SmackDown.  Apparently Smizack Dizown izis abizout tizo gizit strizange.

Shelton Benjamin is already in the ring, and he grabs a mic.  He is the United States Champion, and he has been since he beat Matt Hardy at the Great American Bash.

LISTEN…  IT’S TIME!

Well, Benjamin beat a North Carolinian for the title, and he’s defending it against another one tonight in Hurricane Helms.

Shelton Benjamin def. Hurricane Helms to retain the WWE United States Championship

Ricky Steamboat defeated Ric Flair the only time the United States Championship changed hands in Canada.  Can Hurricane Helms becomes the second?  A great athletic matchup between these guys, as you’d expect.  At one point, Hurricane stops, strikes a superhero-like pose, and yells “WASSUPWITDAT!”  Helms takes over from there, hitting high flying offensive moves on the Gold Standard, until Benjamin caught him in midair and powerbombed him onto the turnbuckle for a two count, sending us to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Benjamin has Helms in a submission hold when we get back from the break.  After relinquishing the hold, he goes to work on Helms’ surgically repaired neck.  Helms starts to battle back, but has a suplex reversed into a neckbreaker, allowing Benjamin to retain the offensive.  When Helms finally does manage to battle back, he goes for the Shining Wizard, but Benjamin ducked. Helms then scored a few two counts, including one off of The Nightmare on Helms Street.  Benjamin counters another Shining Wizard, and gets hurricanrana’d for his troubles.  Helms finally hits the Shining Wizard, but Benjamin kicks out at two.  Helms goes for a move called “The Underdog” but gets reversed into a boot to the back of the head by Benjamin, who then hits Pay Dirt for the victory!

We revisit Armageddon, where Jeff Hardy finally won the WWE Championship!  We then get a trippy Jeff Hardy promo, where he says he’s not so different.  He laughs, he cries, he screams at the top of his lungs when he feels the need.  Is he really a screwup, or is Vickie covering something up.  He’s found his following, and tonight, the Big Show drowns in the screams of Jeff Hardy, WWE Champion!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Brian Kendrick is set for action.  Backstage, Carlito and Primo meet up with the Bella Twins.  Primo asks Carlito if he’s going to win this time.  Carlito says he wins every time.  Primo asks him about last time.  Carlito says to focus.  The WWE Tag Team Champions, Carlito & Primo make their way out with the Bella Twins.  Carlito is in singles competition tonight against The Brian Kendrick.

Carlito def. The Brian Kendrick

A back and forth matchup, with Carlito getting a majority of the offense in.  Kendrick gets dumped to the outside, where Ezekiel Jackson gets attacked by Primo.  Jackson takes Primo down.  Back in the ring, Carlito drops Kendrick with the Backstabber for the victory.

We revisit the Tribute to the Troops show from last Saturday night.  I see where JT is coming from in this week’s Random Randomness about it being a way for WWE to pat themselves on the back, but at the same time, it really brings a smile to the troops’ faces, and it’s something really special for them.  The show was really all about the troops, and the wrestling was secondary to them.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back in Vickie’s officie, Edge tells Vickie that people are begging him to regain the WWE Championship so that he can represent the company with dignity and morality.  Big Show comes in, and says it’s awkward.  While Edge was gone, his relationship with Vickie was strictly business.  Edge says he hopes Show takes care of business tonight.  Show says he’ll wrap Jeff up like a nice little gift.  If he does it though, he wants his own shot at the WWE Championship.  Vickie says he’s got it.  Edge complains, and Show says it’s strictly business.

Elsewhere backstage, Maria is dressed up like a referee, and Michelle is trying to butter her up, asking if they’re cool.  Besides, nobody wants to see Maryse as the Diva’s Champion.  Maria says she’ll call it down the middle.  Michelle asks Maria not to mess up her Championship reign like she’s messed up a bunch of other stuff lately.  It’s Maryse vs. Michelle with Maria as the ref, WWE Diva’s Championship is on the line, next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Maryse def. Michelle McCool to become the WWE Diva’s Champion

These two Divas are just as good of atheletes as Hurricane Helms and Shelton Benjamin are, and this Diva’s Championship match shows that off in the early going, much like we saw in the US Championship match earlier.  The crowd, at least the ones that care about this match, are firmly behind their fellow Canadian, Maryse.  It’s a back and forth matchup, with both ladies countering each other several times.  Michelle starts to build momentum, and it’s so quiet in the Air Canada Center that you can hear a pin drop – or a pin count, as Michelle gets two on a cover attempt.  Michelle argues with Maria about a two count, and Maryse attacks her from behind, dropping her long enough to get the cover and the three count!  New Diva’s Champion!

After the match, Maryse takes off with her new title, and Maria helps Michelle up.  They hug, and as Maria turns to leave, Michelle attacks her from behind, brutally beating her as the crowd finally wakes up from their Diva-induced nap to chant “you suck” at the former Diva’s Champion.  She tosses Maria out of the ring and starts ramming her head against the floor and tossing her against the barricade.   You know, if this was two guys going at it like this outside of a match, the referees would be all over it.  Michelle tosses Maria shoulder first into the ringpost, then kicks her once more for good measure before finally leaving.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Umaga is returning soon.  Look out!

Later on, Jeff Hardy is taking on The Big Show.  Right now, MVP is in the ring.  There’s a sign that says “More Victories Please.”  His opponent has a new theme song – and he is the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!

The Great Khali def. MVP

There’s actually a “Khali” chant going on – I guess JT and I are the only people who hate the Kiss Cam.  This match is all Khali early on, but MVP moves out of the way of a big boot and tries to take advantage of Khali straddling himself over the top rope.  Doesn’t work for too long though, as Khali knocks him right back down.  MVP drapes Khali over the top rope, and then hits the Driveby kick in the corner.  Again, his offense is short lived, as the Punjabi Playboy hits the newly-christened Punjabi Plunge for the victory.

KENNEDY!

Mr. Kennedy comes out and he gets his trademark microphone.  He asks Justin Roberts to give MVP a microphone.  MVP is unconscious, so a lot of good that does him.  Kennedy says that if MVP could talk, he’d say that he got beat, but he’s still better than you – but also that the important message is that Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia comes out on January 6th.  Kennedy says that he wants to dedicate this portion of the broadcast to MVP – and it’s brought to you by MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Vladimir Kozlov is angry and on his way to the ring.  He’s in action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK> (JT got the new Edge: A Decade of Decadence DVD for Christmas.  I’m jealous.)

Once again, we’re reminded that Smizack Dizown izis about to gizet strizange.  Yes, kids, it’s Showtime next week!

Jimmy Wang Yang is in the ring.  Guess what – he’s about to die.  His opponent is the Moscow Mauler, Vladimir Kozlov.

Vladimir Kozlov destroyed Jimmy Wang Yang

I know this may seem like a cop-out sometimes, but seriously, picture a match between Vladimir Kozlov and Jimmy Wang Yang.  Congratulations, you just saw this match without watching it.  Kozlov got the win in about a minute.

After the match, Kozlov gets the mic and says that everybody on RAW, SmackDown, and ECW better be watching, because what just happened is what’s going to happen at the Royal Rumble.  He says that he’s going to win the Rumble, go to WrestleMania, and become the Champion.

Big Show is gearing up for his match backstage.  Edge comes in and says that he wanted to wish Show luck tonight.  Show says that Edge doesn’t want to wish him luck.  He’s full of Canadian Crack.  Show’s going to win tonight, and guarantee himself a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants Edge to watch, because he wants Edge to see Show do what he can’t do.  By the way, how’s the marital relations with Vickie going?

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

RAW REBOUND: HBK, JBL, the former Y2J, and RKO all qualified for next week’s Fatal Four Way match to determine the number one contender to John Cena’s World Heavyweight Championship.

It’s peanut butter jelly Vader Main Event time!  The Big Show makes his way to the ring, and we go to a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  (Meanwhile, I enjoy my cheesecake!)

The guy who looks like Barney the Dinosaur with his purple hair and green face paint, WWE Champion Jeff Hardy(~!) makes his way to the ring.  Back in Vickie’s office, Edge asks if Big Show is the number one contender if he wins tonight.  Vickie says that if he wins tonight, he’ll face Edge next week for the number one contendership.  It’s all business, relax.  Anyways, the belt looks great on Jeff – though I noticed when I finally watched last week’s SmackDown that it’s still go tthe Monday Night RAW plate on it instead of the SmackDown plate…  I digress, we’ve got a match going on!

Jeff Hardy def. The Big Show by count out

Damn, does the Big Show look impressive to start off here – he rips Hardy’s wifebeater right off his chest to deliver a massive chop.  Show dominates the early part of the match, and does his cobra clutch toss, sending Hardy out of the ring and us to yet another…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

When we come back, Show is still dominating the WWE Champion, Jeff Hardy.  I don’t think Hardy’s gotten a single move, either offensive or defensive in.  He started throwing punches when I typed that, but it didn’t help one bit against The Big Show.  That’s like a three year old punching a brick wall.  Show goes for an elbow after an eternity of offense, but Hardy rolls out of the way.  The Extreme Enigma starts throwing punches again, again with no effect, and winds up jumping right into a bearhug.  Hardy battles out of it, and hits a pair of Whispers in the Wind.  He goes up and nails the Swanton!  He covers The Big Show, but Show powers out at two.  Show goes for a chokeslam but Hardy reversed it into a DDT, then dropkicks the big man out of the ring.   He pendulum dropkicks Show into the announcers’ table.  The ref begins a count, but Hardy dives back into the ring.  Show can’t recover in time, and Jeff Hardy has defeated The Big Show via count out!

Jeff heads back up the ramp, and the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy meets him up at the top.  Backstage, Edge says he doesn’t have to face the Big Show now.  Vickie says he won’t be facing him, but since the Hardys seem to be reunited, it’s going to be Matt and Jeff taking on The Big Show and Edge.  The end.

My thoughts: None, really.  I liked the show, I liked the destruction of Maria by Michelle after Michelle mistakenly accused Maria of costing her the Diva’s Championship.  I liked Jeff Hardy’s promo, and his victory over The Big Show by count out.  There was nothing really outstanding about the broadcast, but it’s definitely better than anything else in the pro wrestling world right now.  As I said at the top of the review, I’ve pretty much got no excuse to not do these reviews at the moment, so you should definitely see a RAW review after tomorrow night’s show…

The post SmackDown on DVR review – 12/26/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Full results after the jump!The show hasn’t even started yet, but Jeff Hardy and Triple H are brawling in the aisle.  Vickie Guerrero sends Chavo down to help break them up, but he gets knocked down for his trouble.  Finally, several officials, including Dean Malenko, come to separate them.  That doesn’t last long, they break free, knocking Vickie down in the process as Chavo laughs.  When she gets back up, the two are separated again.  She yells at them that this is her show and to save it for the main event.  They go after each other one more time before finally being separated.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

So, for the benefit of those with short attention spaaaaans: We get a recap of the chaos before the break.

MVP is in the ring and set for action.  R-Truth comes through the crowd performing his Slammy Award Winning hit, “What’s Up?”  He’s even carrying his Slammy around to prove it.

R-Truth def. MVP

MVP holds the advantage for a while early on.  JR mentions that MVP is ahead on points, but unfortunately, that doesn’t win you wrestling matches.  Tazz theorizes that if they were nominated, he and JR would have beaten Edge and Vickie for Couple of the Year at the Slammys.  Anyways, MVP dominates this match, but he gets caught in a rollup by R-Truth, giving the Slammy Award Winner a victory.

MVP asks the crowd if they think it’s funny.  They yell “yeah!”  He went from being the highest paid wrestler in SmackDown history, the longest reigning US Champion in WWE history, to almost nothing.  He’s still got his pride, and more money than any of us.  He’s still MVP and is still better than you.

KENNEDY!

The star of WWE Films’ straight to DVD movie “Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia,” Mr. Kennedy is here.  They cut of MVP’s mic, and Kennedy says that he’s disappointed in MVP.  MVP should be filled with holiday cheer.  Kennedy wishes he could do something for MVP.  Oh wait, there is!  His new movie is a gift that keeps on giving.  This message of holiday cheer is from MISTERRRRRRR KENNEDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Later tonight, the Cutting Edge with special guest, Matt Hardy.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Recap of the Slammy Awards on Monday, and the chaotic ending of the John Cena/Edge match.

Vignette for some jackass named… well, I didn’t catch his name.  I don’t really care either.

The Bella Twins are backstage and approached by The Brian Kendrick.  Carlito and Primo confrton him.  Kendrick backs off and opens the dressing room door, and Ezikiel Jackson came out and asked if there was a problem.  Primo says “if you’re feeling froggy, jump.”  Kendrick and Jackson walk away, and Carlito calls Primo on his cheesy line.  Primo says Carlito didn’t say anything.  Carlito says he was going to smack the big guy, but he didn’t want to in front of the ladies out of respect to them.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Recap of Miz and Morrison winning Tag Team of the Year on Monday.

Carlito and Primo are in the ring as The Brian Kendrick and Ezikiel Jackson come to the ring.  Kendrick and Primo are in singles competition

The Brian Kendrick def. Primo

It’s a pretty back and forth match, with Primo getting  the upper hand in the early parts of the match, and Kendrick getting the upper hand later on.   Primo starts to battle back after a bit of extended offence by Kendrick, and uses some amazing athleticism to stay one step ahead.  He goes to climb the ropes, Ezekiel comes around to distract him, but Carlito came to stop him, getting shoved into the ring steps for his troubles.  This distracts Primo enough for Kendrick to capitalize on the situation, rolling Primo up for the victory.

In case you missed it: Jeff Hardy and Triple H brawled to start off the show.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

DX is shilling their new hoody and t-shirt.  HBK says the Triple H stuffed bear is from the Connan the Bar-bear-ian collection.  Triple H says HBK’s bear is from the Villiage People collection, and if you push a button in the back, all the hair falls out.

Hurricane Helms is in the ring and ready for action.  His opponent is the WWE United States Champion, Shelton Benjamin.

Hurricane Helms def. Shelton Benjamin

The Gold Standard starts off on the offense, but it doesn’t last long before Helms starts to battle back.  It’s back and forth early, but Benjamin starts to go on a ruthless attack, trying to work over Hurricane’s neck.  Helms starts to battle back, even going for the Shining Wizard, but Benjamin ducks and manages to take the offense back, momentarily.  Helms gains the momentum back, nailing Benjamin with a cross body off the top rope and manages to pin Benjamin!

Tazz congratulates Hurricane Helms, and asks him how it feels to be back on SmackDown.  Helms says it’s about time – time for a new United States Champion.  He’s not sayin’ – he’s just sayin!

Up next, The Cutting Edge with special guest, Matt Hardy!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The WWE Champion is here to host The Cutting Edge.  He says his two opponents at Armageddon are trying to tear each other’s heads off.  There’s a long, volitaile history between Jeff Hardy and Triple H.  Which is why Triple H attacked Jeff Hardy in his hotel.  Despite the overwhelming facts, it seems like everybody is pointing fingers at Edge.  Everybody, including his guest tonight, the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy.

Matt says that no matter what spin Edge puts on the situation, Triple H wasn’t the guy who took out Jeff, it was Edge.  Edge says he didn’t do it.  He just stepped in to take Jeff’s place because he wanted to help out his wife.  Matt says he blames Edge because he knows Edge will do whatever it takes to get ahead.  Edge says to take the blinders off, it wasn’t Edge.  A lot of people want Hardy gone.  Randy Orton on RAW, Miz and Morrison, The Undertaker, and Triple H all have reasons to get rid of Jeff.  Matt says all the facts point to Edge.  Matt came out here to get the truth.  Edge says that the truth is that the only reason Matt’s getting involved is because nobody cares about him.  Jeff’s problems thrust him into the spotlight.  Matt’s the ECW Champion, but if what happened to Jeff happened to him, nobody would care.  Matt looks visibly upset before decking the WWE Champion.  Before he can do any more damage, Vladimir Kozlov comes down to the ring.  Edge attacks Hardy from behind, and Kozlov takes over, decimating the ECW Champion.  Kozlov and Hardy will square off in a non-title match, this Sunday at Armageddon.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Recap of The Great Khali winning “DAMN!” Moment of the Year on the Slammys.  He’s in the ring and ready for a handicapped match against the former WWE Tag Team Champions, Kurt Hawkins and Zack Ryder.

The Great Khali def. Hawkins & Ryder

Close your eyes and imagine what a handicapped match with Hawkins & Ryder taking on The Great Khali.  That’s how this one went.  Khali won by Tree Bombing Hawkins on to Ryder.

Eve is standing by with Triple H.  What does he think about the allegations that he attacked Hardy in Boston?  Triple H says that Edge isn’t the only one believing that theory.  Jeff Hardy believes it too.  Triple H says that Jeff was never a big enough blimp on his radar to warrant an attack.  Trips doesn’t care who jumped Jeff.  He says that Hardy put himself in Triple H’s path, and therefore The Game has to run him down.  Whether Jeff shows up Sunday or not, The Game is walking out WWE Champion.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

In case you missed it, part 2: Vladimir Kozlov destroyed Matt Hardy on The Cutting Edge earlier.

The Bella Twins make their way to the ring for tag team action.  Their opponents are Natalya and Maryse.  That’s actually kind of surprising, Natalya usually teams up with Victoria.  Ah well, whatever.

The Bella Twins vs. Maryse and Natalya

The Bella Twins take the early advantage, but Maryse and Natalya battle back.  They trap one of the twins in their corner and utilize quick tags to their advantage.  I wonder if they developed that strategy by watching old tapes of Natalya’s father and uncle back in the day.  The other Bella got the tag in (Tazz said it’s Nikki), starting off strong.  A quick double-team behind the referee’s back while he’s being distracted by Maryse, and The Bella’s picked up the victory!

Eve asks Vladimir Kozlov his thoughts on Armageddon.  He’ll destroy Matt at Armageddon and then will come for the Champion, no matter who it is.  He’s lost his tolerance.  Everyone must fall.

Up next, Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get a run-down of the Armageddon card, and I’m getting tired of them repeatedly mentioning that the PPV is in Buffalo, since I’m ultimately not able to go.

Once again they show us the brawl at the beginning of the show.  And finally, after all these recaps…

It’s time to play the game…  TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H makes his way to the ring.  Jeff Hardy doesn’t jump him this time.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back, and Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring.

Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H ends in a No Contest

Jeff goes on the attack early, striking with kicks and punches, taking The Game outside and slamming his face off of the security wall.  Even the bit of offense Triple H got in was all strikes.  This isn’t a match, it’s a war.  Both men are down in the ring as we head to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H is in control when we return, but Jeff battles back.  These guys are hell bent on destroying each other tonight.  It’s actually highly entertaining.  Both men take each other down, staying down for a 5 count, but then the pace picks right back up.  Jeff keeps control until he walks right into a spinebuster from The Game, who only got a two count off of the move.  Triple H reverses a Twist of Fate, going for a Pedigree, but Jeff breaks out and goes for the Whisper in the Wind, hitting it for two.  Hardy hits the sitout facebuster, then climbs the ropes, but gets caught.  The battle continues.  Triple H goes for a Pedigree, Jeff backdrops him out, goes for a Swanton, and Triple H moves out of the way.  That’s when Edge comes out and spears both of them, standing tall with his WWE Championship as we go off the air just two days before Armageddon.

My thoughts: A lot of wrestling, not a lot of talking.  That’s my kind of show.  It was a pretty solid show, advancing numerous storylines, particularly the WWE Championship match, adding a lot of fuel to an already hot match.    I really enjoyed it, and still say that RAW and ECW, and especially TNA could learn a thing or two from the blue brand.

The post SmackDown on DVR review – 12/12/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

SmackDown review and thoughts (finally), after the jump!

In case you missed it: Video package detailing the events of last week, where Jeff Hardy and Triple H finished their respective Beat The Clock Challenge matches in the exact same amount of time.  Vickie Guerrero makes the announcement a few days later that both men will face Edge in a triple threat match at Armageddon.

WWE SmackDown opening video plays.  Again, it’s aired in the right spot, unlike the one on RAW.  Either do the damned thing at the beginning of the show (as was the case here), or don’t do one at all.

JR reminds us once again that the WWE Championship will be defended in a triple threat match at Armageddon.

You think you know me…

Edge and Vickie make their way to the ring, as the WWE Champion is in action to kick off the broadcast.  His opponent this evening is the one and only Kung Fu Naki!

Edge def. Kung Fu Naki

Believe it or not, Naki controls this match from the very beginning, even getting a few near falls on the champion.  In shock from Edge kicking out of the crane kick, Naki gets a boot to the face from Edge, followed by a spear and a victory for the Rated R Superstar.

After the match, Vickie says that Edge delivered a masterful performance and asks for a round of applause for Edge (I’m clapping!).  She’s proud of Edge, and it’s good to have him back on SmackDown.  Since he had to compete tonight, she thinks it’s only fair that Jeff Hardy and Triple H will team up in a tag team gauntlet match.  The two will have to wrestle one team after another until they finally lose.  Vickie cackles and hugs Edge.

Later on tonight, The Undertaker takes on The Big Show inside a steel cage.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

In case you missed it, part two: Last week on SmackDown, Michelle McCool blamed the Bella Twins (rightfully) for a tag team loss, then shoved Maria to the canvas when she came out to play peacemaker.

Maria def. Michelle McCool

Joey Styles would be screaming “catfight.  CATFIGHT!” if he were calling the early parts of this match.  The catfight, however, degenerates into a wrestling match, with Michelle mostly in control.  An interesting spot during the match saw Maria choking Michelle with her foot in the corner, but Michelle powering out of it and dropping Maria into a split position.  Michelle keeps control of the match until the very end, where Maria ducked out of the way of a roundhouse kick from Michelle, rolling up the Divas Champion for a non-title victory!

Later tonight:  Jeff Hardy and Triple H team up in a tag team gauntlet match!  Can they co-exist?  We’ll find out later!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK> (The Slammys are Monday, and I’ll likely be posting thoughts on all of the categories between now and then)

Backstage, Maria is celebrating with the Bella Twins, who are hanging out with Primo and Carlito.  Michelle shows up and boots Maria in the midsection.  The Bellas ask if she’s ok, and Carlito remarks “that’s gonna leave a stain.”  Seriously?  A stain?  A bruise, maybe, but a stain?  The worst part is, he wasn’t on camera when he said it, they could have had him overdub something that made sence.  They had two freakin’ weeks to do it!

Mr. Kennedy is in a straight to DVD movie.  After The Marine and The Condemned, nobody really cares.

Big Show is here to remind The Undertaker that, even though ‘Taker locked him in a casket at the PPV, Show’s here and ready to destroy him in a steel cage.  He’s even got a handy video package of him knocking out The Undertaker.  Show says that ‘Taker’s powers are useless against him tonight  (ThinkSoJoE note:  Why are ‘Taker’s powers useless?  Is the cage to The Undertaker’s powers as a butterfly net to Cosmo and Wanda’s magic on The Fairly Odd Parents?  Yes, I did just make a Fairly Odd Parents reference.  I have a four year old, I can get away with it!).  The only things in that cage will be ‘Taker, Show, and Show’s fist.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

MVP is in the ring when we come back, and he’s got something on his mind.  He didn’t get his incentive bonus, so he can’t buy those really nice gifts for his family and friends that he wanted to get.  They took away his cool entrance tunnel and his pyro.  What they can’t take away, is what makes him MVP.  He’s going to give himself a little gift to boost his holiday spirit.  He’s going to pop that little pop-up sucka in his mouth.

Listen – IT’S TIME!

Making his return to the WWE, it’s Hurricane Helms!  While he’s not in full blown super-hero mode, he does have The Hurricane’s symbol on his pants.  He’s also got long hair again and a giant tattoo that says “HELMS” on his back.  He also gets a “welcome back” chant from the fans.  Neither John Cena nor Edge got one of those at Survivor Series.

Hurricane Helms def. MVP

Helms looks pretty good from an athletic standpoint in this match.  He’s got a little gut now, but I guess that’s to be expected after being out as long as he’s been.  MVP is in charge through the majority of the match, with some flurries of offense from Helms.  MVP goes for a Playmaker, but much like he was on Tuesday against Matt Hardy, it was thwarted, and Hurricane Helms dropped him with kind of a reverse unprettier.  Helms then hits the Shining Wizard for the victory.

Jeff Hardy is walking backstage, where he runs into Triple H.  Hunter says that if Jeff gets in his way, he won’t make it to Armageddon.  Hardy says he’s sick of The Game and that he’ll see him out there.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

In case you missed it, rewound: Jeff Hardy and Triple H finished their respective matches in 12 minutes and 13 seconds last week.

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H makes his way to the ring, followed out by Jeff Hardy.  Their first opponents here are former WWE Tag Team Champions, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder.

Triple H & Jeff Hardy in a Tag Team Gauntlet match

Match 1:  Triple H & Jeff Hardy def. Hawkins & Ryder

Hawkins and Ryder?  I almost forgot about those guys since they lost the titles to Carlito and Primo a few months back.  In any event, this wasn’t about Hawkins and Ryder, it’s about dissention between Hardy and Hunter.  Triple H drops Ryder with a Pedigree, and Hardy climbs the ropes, looking to Swanton Triple H, but Triple H moves off of the cover and it connects with Ryder instead.  Triple H pins Ryder, and then the two men start shoving each other, until the sound of John Morrison’s music presented another pair of former WWE Tag Team Champions.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Match 2:  John Morrison & The Miz def. Triple H & Jeff Hardy via count out.

Again, this was more about the dissension between the two challengers for Edge’s WWE Championship than it was about Miz and Morrison.  For a few fleeting moments, it seemed as though Hardy and Triple H were going to work together, but it didn’t last long.  The two men would tag in and out by pretty much chopping each other.  Miz and Morrison showed a bit of offense, beating up The Game in their corner and trying to wear him down.  Hardy, on the apron, gives a thumbs down, and the crowd boos, and then unenthusiastically encourages the fans to rally behind The Cerebral Assassin.  The Game finally causes some separation from The Miz, and Hardy tags himself in.  Hardy hits some of his usual spots, and then the match degenerates into chaos.  With Miz, Morrison, and The Game outside of the ring, Hardy hits a plancha on all three men.  He grabs The Miz and rolls him back into the ring, but as he tries to get in himself, Triple H grabs him, and the two men start battling away on the outside of the ring.  Referees come out to try and separate them as Lil’ Naitch, Charles Robinson, counts the two of them out.

The two men battle for a few more moments, before WWE officials finally get them separated.

Later tonight, Big Show faces The Undertaker in a cage!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

So, for the benefit of those with short attention spaaaaans!: Before the break, Jeff Hardy and Triple H tried to destroy each other.

Back in Vickie Guerrero’s office, Edge is enjoying the fact that his Armageddon opponents are tearing each other apart.  To make Edge even happier, Vickie’s scheduled Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H for next week.  As the two reconcile their marriage, Jeff Hardy barges in.  Apparently Edge and Vickie wanted to see him.  Edge said that he was tired of being blamed for taking Jeff out in his hotel before Survivor Series.  He tells Jeff to think about it – who had the most to gain and the least to lose (ThinkSoJoE note:  Vladimir Kozlov did.)?  It was Triple H, that’s who!  As if on cue, Triple H comes in, because apparently Vickie and Edge wanted to see him.  Jeff attacks The Game, and they start brawling again.  WWE  officials finally break them up again, and Edge makes out with his wife.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

OH YEAH!

It’s Hardy night here on WWE SmackDown, apparently, because Matt is on his way to the ring.  Last week, he avoided Vladimir Kozlov long enough to knock him out of the WWE Championship picture.

Oooh, Chavo!

Vickie Guerrero’s nephew is Matt’s opponent tonight, as JR seems to imply that this match has something to do with Jeff Hardy.

Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero ended in a no-contest

This is the match you’d expect out of these guys, back and forth, counter after counter.  Both guys look good here, as they normally do, but the match ends when Vladimir Kozlov comes out and assaults The ECW Champion.

Kozlov tied up Matt Hardy in the ropes and started putting the boots to him.  He gets in Hardy’s face and yells “you cost me title!”  Kozlov leaves as officials assist Matt in getting out of the ring ropes.  Matt is lying on the canvas and heaving.

The Great Khali is primping himself in the mirror and gargling mouth wash.  The Khali kiss cam is next.  Oh joy.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The DX ad from RAW where they shill the Elimination Chamber airs again.  I skipped it this time.

The Great Khali, wearing the world’s biggest Santa hat, and Ranjin Singh, wearing an elf cap, make their way to the ring.  Which reminds me, I just saw the 2005 remake of “The Longest Yard” yesterday.  Khali is great in his role in the film (though, in all fairness, Kevin Nash stole the show).

Anyways, The Kiss Cam has a mistletoe graphic and it starts with the original format of the Kiss Cam.  After a few couples kiss, they search for a woman for Khali to kiss.  After showing a bunch of women, some attractive, some not so attractive, some old, some yong, Ranjin asks that they stop the music.  In the spirit of giving, Ranjin asks for “Santa’s Little Helper.”  Eve comes out in a little Mrs. Claus outfit, and Ranjin explains that it’s his gift to The Great Khali.  Khali holds up the mistletoe and plants a great big kiss on a very excited Eve.

Coming up next, two more big guys, The Undertaker and The Big Show step into the steel cage!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Wellllllll…  Well it’s The Big Show!

Show makes his way out to the cage first.  When he gets in, he’s almost tall enough to look over the top of it.  The Undertaker takes his sweet ass time getting to the ring, so for the first time tonight, other than commercials, I hit the Fast Forward button.

The Undertaker def. The Big Show

The two big men lock up, and Show uses his power to take an early advantage over the dead man.  Rights, lefts, and headbutts are Show’s M.O.  He makes no early attempts to get out of the cage, and he goes for a Vader Bomb, but ‘Taker rolls out of the way – but Show still caught him with his lower body.  Taker starts to mount a comeback, using the ropes and the cage to his advantage.  He went to the well once too often, as Gorilla Monsoon would say, and Show catches him with an elbow.  Show throws ‘Taker face first into the cage, and sends us to a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Show is back to throwing punches when we come back, and once again sends ‘Taker face first into the cage, this time going for a cover, getting a two.  Show continues to dominate, taking a moment to smile about his handy work.  ‘Taker won’t stay down, though.  He starts to battle back against the World’s Largest Athlete.  ‘Taker keeps control until he goes for Old-School.  Show stops him, and hits a superplex, though the ring didn’t collapse like it did when Show and current UFC Champion Brock Lesnar did a superplex spot a few years back.  Anyways, Show keeps control for a bit, knocking ‘Taker down then climbing the ropes.  Instead of trying to escape, Show acts like he’s going to go for a top rope move, but ‘Taker sits up and comes after him.  The two men fight on the top rope, and ‘Taker wins the battle, sending Big Show crashing to the canvas.  Undertaker goes to climb out, but he stops on the top of the cage.  He gives the throat-slitting motion, and climbs back down onto the ropes, going for a top-rope legdrop, but Show moves out of the way.  Both men get back up around the same time, and ‘Taker counters a chokeslam attempt with a DDT, getting a two count.  ‘Taker goes for a chokeslam of his own, but Big Show counters it into a chokeslam of his own.  He goes for the cover, and only gets a two count.  After a battle of fists, Show hits his knockout punch, but before he can escape, ‘Taker sits up.  Show grabs the dead man by the throat, but The Undertaker counters into the Hell’s Gate chokehold.  With nowhere to go, Show has no choice but to tap out.

Undertaker poses in the ring as the show goes off the air.

My Thoughts: Ah, the steel cage match.  Once the epitome of feud ending matches, now an extremely overused gimmick.  Over the course of the last two and a half months, I’ve seen three steel cage matches in WWE alone.  It’s bad enough that TNA has a Pay-Per-View that focuses solely on steel cage matches, now the WWE is doing them on a regular basis.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed tonight’s match between the Big Show and The Undertaker.  I just don’t want to see another regular steel cage match until the next TNA Lockdown PPV.  I won’t complain about a Hell in the Cell match or an Elimination Chamber, I just don’t want to see another normal steel cage match for a while.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that, since the WWE only has a handful of referees who now work all three brands, they’ve been wearing the traditional striped shirts that the RAW referees have been wearing for years.  It’s not a huge deal, but it’s another thing that blurs the line of the brand extension.  First they started using the same sets for all three brands, and now this.  I think it’s better to give each brand it’s own identity, especially ECW, but whatever, just a thought.

Good to see Hurricane Helms back.  It’s been way too long, and I’m glad to see him as a face and embracing his WWE legacy as The Hurricane.  Will the super-hero return?  I hope so!

What did you think of SmackDown?  Leave a comment and let me know; and look for a new BWF skin to be available in the next couple of days!

The post WWE SmackDown on DVR review – 12/4/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Anyways, Survivor Series picks after the jump!

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho (C) – World Heavyweight Championship

– Cena is back after a career threatening injury, and he’s going for Jericho’s World Championship in his own hometown.  I’d hate to say it, I don’t want to even think it, but it looks to me like John Cena is the huge favorite though.  Your Bored Wrestling Fan is going against the grain on this one though, envisioning Jericho retaining by hook or by crook in an effort by WWE to make Jericho even more hated.

Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Triple H (C) – WWE Championship

– While your Bored Wrestling Fan is pulling for Jeff Hardy, especially if he’s in full blown “Extreme” mode as he’s been the past few weeks, I’m afraid that Hardy being put in the match is serving two purposes – allowing Vladimir Kozlov to not be pinned, but also to not win the title.  My pick is Triple H to retain.
UPDATE: It’s come to my attention that Jeff Hardy was supposedly involved in some sort of “incident” that may render him unable to compete tonight.  In light of these new developments, I am not changing my call.  I’m just now more convinced that Triple H will pin Hardy to retain.

Undertaker vs. Big Show – Casket Match

– Does ‘Taker need some time off?  If not, it’s pretty much a lock for the dead man to pick up the win here.  Alternatively, Edge could come back and attack Undertaker (wouldn’t be the first Survivor Series to have that happen), and costing him the match.  Given current posibilities for Edge, I’m giving the nod to Undertaker in this one.

Team RAW vs Team SmackDown – Diva’s traditional Survivor Series match

– The RAW Divas assaulted one of the SmackDown Divas on RAW this past Monday night, so I’ll go with the logical choice and give a win to Team SmackDown.  Who will survive?   Who knows!?

Team HBK vs. Team JBL – traditional Survivor Series match

– Well, whatever happens, we can pretty much be sure that MVP will be eliminated at some point.  Other than that, Miz and Morrison are hot right now, and HBK can still look strong in losing tonight.  I’m going with Team JBL on this one.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista – traditional Survivor Series match

– Wow, this is a tough call here.  Both sides are packing championships, with ECW Champion Matt Hardy and RAW World Tag Team Champions, CM Punk and Kofi Kingston on one side, and US Champion Shelton Benjamin and Intercontinental Champion William Regal on the other.  Looking at it though, it seems as though Batista has the stronger team, and will probably get along better given the problems between Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes.  Team Batista’s going to take this one.

How well will I do this time around?  We’ll find out at 8PM EST tonight as World Wrestling Entertainment presents Survivor Series, live on Pay Per View!

The post Survivor Series predictions appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

In any event, my thoughts on this week’s SmackDown as I watch it on DVR are after the jump!

Last time, on Friday Night SmackDown: Jeff Hardy blows our minds by hitting people with chairs.

Tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on The Undertaker in an EXTREME RULES MATCH!  (ThinkSoJoE note:  AWESOME!)

A casket is in the ring.  Somebody needs to move that thing out of there, these people came to Manchester to see wrestling matches!  Untertaker does a voiceover as we get various shots of the casket, mostly talking about what it’ll be like for The Big Show at Survivor Series should he lose their casket match.  The lid opens and The Undertaker sits up.  He’s interrupted by Jeff Hardy, who is wearing AWESOME makeup!  He says ‘Taker should be concerned about him, not The Big Show.  Jeff’s tired of being sorry.  He doesn’t see things in black and white, he lives in a world of grey, which allows him to do things others just can’t do.  He says he rage will be what beats The Undertaker tonight, because he’s got nothing to lose.  ‘Taker says that Jeff will rest in peace.  They showed another shot of Hardy on the titan tron, and holy crap does he look creepy – in the good way.

Speaking of Hardys, Jeff’s brother, the ECW Champion Matt Hardy, will be taking on US Champion Shelton Benjamin, next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

There’s a contract signing between Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov, and a WWE Diva’s Championship match between Maria and Michelle later on tonight.  Up first, it’s Champion vs. Champion in a non-title match!

HURRAPOP! Hurricane Helms says that Shelton looks like the love child of Gary Coleman and “Hacksaw” Butch Reed.  He’s just saying.

Matt Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin

Since I caught a little bit of this match earlier, I’m gonna kinda fast forward through it.  Not that it’s a bad match, but I watched a bit of it earlier and don’t feel like watching it again.  I have a rat cage to clean, y’know.   In the end, Matt reversed a Gold Rush into a Twist of Fate and picked up the victory.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get a preview of Jeff Hardy vs. The Undertaker via SmackDown vs. RAW 2009, a game which has consumed my existence since it’s release last Sunday morning.

The Brian Kendrick is accompanied by Ezekiel Jackson, as he’s set for singles action.  His opponent is one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions.  You know, the half with the big afro – Carlito.  The Brian Kendrick points and laughs at Carlito.  Then the bell rings

The Brian Kendrick def. Carlito

This match actually starts off a lot slower than I expected.  While I’m waiting for something interesting to happen, I’d like to point out that if I’m not mistaken, the last time The Brian Kendrick was on a European tour with WWE, he and Paul London won – and subsequently lost – the World Tag Team Championship from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch.  Guess what?  Three of those guys aren’t a part of the WWE anymore.  The one that is has had a gimmick overhaul and gotten a major push, which actually, depsite not actually counting towards the lineage of the title, led to him being the “current” WWE Champion for a few fleeting moments in the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven.  Anyways, I digress.  Ezikiel Jackson attacked Primo on the outside of the ring, distracting Carloto long enough for The Brian Kendrick to hit The Kendrick for the victory!  BTW, it wasn’t that bad of a match, it just ended before I finished typing my thoughts about Kendrick.

Up next:  Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov sign their names on a piece of a paper!  Hooray!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kizarny is grossly misusing the letter Z, and hanging out with that dude that hammers nails into his nostril at the carnival.

Hey, I bet you’ll never guess who’s coming back at Survivor Series!  That’s right, it’s John Cena; how’d you know!?!  Oh that’s right, the WWE is cramming him down our throats already.  I saw this damned video on Monday, I don’t want to see it again.

Vickie Guerrero asks that there’s no physicality during the WWE Championship match contract signing.  Guess what?  That damned John Cena thing was so long that we have to wait until after the break for Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov to sign the damned contract!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie’s still in the ring when we come back, and not yet joined by Kozlov and H-Cubed.  You’d think they could at least have those two come down to the ring during the break.  Hunter says being in the ring is special, it’s like the UN, you’ve got a rep from Russia (Kozlov), a rep from Mexico (Chavo), and a rep from Fatlavia (Vickie).  No wait, she’s from Bulge-geria.  No no no, she’s from Chunky-Slovakia.  I laughed my ass off when he said that last one.  Kozlov signs the contract.  How exciting.  Then he babbles in Russian as the crowd chants “WHAT?”  Hunter has no idea what he said either.  HHH then says that the 50,000 people in the arena didn’t understand a word he said.  He tells Kozlov that he’s main evented a PPV with the WWE Championship on the line, but Kozlov hasn’t.  Jeff Hardy and his creepy ass makeup comes out of the crowd and clotheslines Kozlov through a table from the top rope, and tears up the contract!  AWESOME!

Still to come, Crazy Makeup Dude takes on Aging Dead Dude in an EXTREME RULES MATCH!  (AWESOME!)

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

So, for the benefit of those with short attention spaaaaaans: Three minutes ago, Jeff Hardy jumped off the top rope and clotheslined Vladimir Kozlov through a table.

One, two, you hear the BoredWrestlingFan typing “def. MVP.”  MVP will be a participant on Team JBL at Survivor Series.  Oh man, maybe I should delete that “def. MVP.”  He’s taking on Kung Fu Naki.  Tazz sings along with Kung Fu Naki’s theme song.

Kung Fu Naki def. MVP

Naki (it’s weird not calling him Funaki anymore) starts on offence, MVP takes over, and The Great Khali’s music hits.  Khali and “The Sultan of Sideburns” Ranjin Singh make their way to the ring and distract MVP long enough for Kung Fu Naki to hit a karate kick on him for the victory!?!

After the match, Khali chops MVP, and Ranjin starts up the Khali Kiss Cam.  They find a fat, ugly girl and invite her to the ring, as Khali chops MVP again.  Yawn.  I was about to fast forward, but then the fat chick tripped trying to climb the ring steps.  MVP starts to stand up before Khali kisses the woman, but he gets a Tree Bomb for his trouble, and Khali kisses the woman.  This is one of the highest rated segments on this show?!?  Khali has the fat chick kiss MVP, who is still unconscious on the mat.  Like Sleeping Beauty before him, the kiss wakes MVP up, and he jets as Khali stands triumphant.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

In case you missed it last month: Maria won a dice on a pole match (what is this, Russo and Ferrara era WCW?) to earn a shot at the WWE Diva’s Championship.

Maria makes her way to the ring, followed by the Diva’s Champion, Michelle McCool.

HURRAPOP: Diva time!  Yeah!  He’s just sayin’!

Michelle McCool def. Maria to retain the WWE Diva’s Championship

Jesse and Festus make their way to the ring, Festus is carrying a stuffed… well, Tazz thinks it’s an aardvark, but JR more accurately says that it’s a teddy bear.  Meanwhile, We’ve got an ok match going on for the Women’s title.  It’s an ok match because it’s short, with Michelle retaining with the Brazillian Heel Hook.

After the match, the bell rings and Festus rushes into the ring, sending Michelle scurrying.  Jesse calms Festus down, and he gives Maria the teddy bear.  Jesse and Festus escort Maria from the ring.

Up next!  Jeff Hardy takes on The Undertaker in an EXTREME RULES MATCH!  (AWESOME!)

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

RAW REBOUND: Jericho beat HBK in a Last Man Standing match, thanks to a little help from JBL

We then get a rundown of the Survivor Series card as it currently stands

Jeff Hardy and his awesome creepy makeup make their way to the ring  for this EXTREME RULES MATCH!  (AWESOME!)  We then see the re-replay of Hardy attacking Kozlov earlier and tearing up the WWE Championship Match contract.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

‘Taker takes so long to get to the ring, we get a re-replay of Jeff Hardy attacking Vladimir Kozlov and The Undertaker with a chair at the end of SmackDown last week.  When ‘Taker gets to the ring, Jeff looks at him in awe.  I’m gonna just kick back and watch this match, and I’ll give you the details when it’s over…

Jeff Hardy def. The Undertaker in an EXTREME RULES MATCH!  (AWESOME!)

WOW!  I remember now why I love EXTREME RULES MATCHES (AWESOME!) featuring Jeff Hardy.  The guy will take a lot of abuse, not only from his opponent, but from himself as well.  Some highlights include ‘Taker giving Hardy a Guillotine Legdrop with a chair draped across his chest, Jeff hitting a Poetry in Motion, using the ring steps instead of his brother as a springboard and Jeff’s sheer elevation on a Whisper in the Wind in this match.  In the end, The Big Show came out, tossing Hardy out of the ring and going after The Undertaker.  Hardy saved ‘Taker from the knockout punch, holding Show against the ropes for ‘Taker to level him with a chair.  In the chaos, Jeff grabbed a chair of his own, cracked The Undertaker in the skull with it, and then did the ladder leapfrog legdrop thing to pick up the victory!

Backstage, Vickie tells Jeff that she didn’t give him the same deal she gave Kozlov, but if he wants to make a deal, if he can beat Triple H next week, it’ll be a Triple Threat match at Survivor Series.  Jeff says he’ll beat Triple H, and if Vickie doesn’t give him the match, he might just go EXTREME on her!

The post SmackDown thoughts – 11/14/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Hello again everyone, I’m back to give you my thoughts on this week’s edition of Smackdown.  Yeah, I know it’s Sunday, but going out Friday and Saturday nights causes me watch it on Sunday mornings.  So you wanna know I what thought?  You don’t, too bad I’m gonna tell you any way:

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero in a Casket Match.  Really?????? For some reason I thought it was supposed to be Big Show, so when I heard Chavo’s name I said WTF????

Jim Ross dresssed as a sailor- LOL funny  

Tazz dressed as a soldier- Cool

Miz & Morrison- put them on either ECW, RAW or Smackdown and keep them there.  I’m sick of seeing them every time I turn on WWE programming.

Some lame magic segment featuring Jessis and Festus.  Like I said, it was lame. 

Jimmy Wang Yang won a match.  Yay!  So what if it was by DQ, a win is a win! 

Kung Fu Naki is lame, nuff said.

Khali Kiss cam is even lamer.

Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Kane, Mark Henry & MVP- Good to see some Smackdown guys involved.  This match should be on the big 3 hour RAW tomorrow, not the Smackdown before, because god forbid you have a 6-man tag featuring all Smackdown guys.

Vladimir Kozlov  wants double double e title shot (which he does deserve).  Triple H comes out and makes this a US vs. Russia thing and than I stopped listening because I can’t stand Triple H. (pointless JT fact- Triple H kinda looks like my younger brother, except my younger brother is fat and lazy)

Some John Cena is coming back segment came on, I push the fast forward button on my remote.

Divas match, fast forward button.

Undertaker wins the Casket match- Shocker  (Undertaker is awesome, nuff said)

Then we find out as the DVR cuts it off (damn DVR) that next week, it’ll be Vladimir Kozlov vs The Undertaker and if Kozlov wins, he gets a title shot.  Sounds good to me. 

I know is may sound like I thought the show was horrible, but it wasn’t.  The wrestling part of the show was good.

Well that’s all for now, see you all soon and those in the United States, go out and vote on Tuesday!

The post Thoughts On Smackdown 10/31/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Friday Night SmackDown is on the air RIGHT NOW on MyNetwork TV!

Maryse & Natalya def. Michelle McCool & Maria when Maryse pinned Michelle as Maria was distracted by Festus.

Carlito & Primo def. Bam Neely & Chavo Guerrero when Carlito pinned Bam after Bam was distracted by an argument with Chavo.

Kung Fu Naki & R-Truth def. MVP & Shelton Benjamin when Naki pinned MVP.

The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy via pinfall.

Triple H vs. The Undertaker ended in a no contest when The Big Show attacked.

Full details after the jump!

SmackDown is airing right now on MyNetwork TV, keep hitting “refresh” for the latest results!

Tonight’s episode is dedicated to the memory of The Rock’s grandmother, Leah Maivia, who passed away a couple days ago.

JR welcomes us to Laredo, TX, and we’ll be seeing Triple H take on The Undertaker right here tonight!

Speaking of Triple H, He’s on his way to the ring, and considering that they’re playing “King of Kings” instead of “The Game,” I’d venture to say that the WWE Champion is here to talk.  He tells us he’s sick of Vickie Guerrero.  It’s not the voice, it’s not the wheelchair, and it’s not the fact that she’s an annoying hag.  It’s gotta do with the fact that she thinks she can come out and tell everybody what to do.  It only really bothers Hunter when she tells him what to do.  He says Vickie’s not going to come out to shut him up because a big Twinkie truck just pulled up, so Vickie’s busy grazing.  As such, Hunter’s going to bitch about having to wrestle The Undertaker just 48 hours before Cyber Sunday, since it benefits Vickie Guerrero.  Vickie knows that Hunter’s gotta try to destroy The Undertaker tonight, because if he doesn’t, then ‘Taker might make sure that Trips doesn’t make it to Cyber Sunday.  And if Hunter doesn’t make it, then all of your votes would be for nothing, and he just can’t let that happen…

Hunter is interrupted by the band Endeverafter.  Well, one of their songs anyway; you know the one:  “so you see the writing on the wall, you’re in way over your head, with all those things that you said.”  Yeah, the Jeff Hardy theme song.  The younger, and currently beltless Hardy is here and he tells HHH that he knows the audience better than The Game does.  He feels like he’s got a great chance to get voted in.  He also thinks he’s walking out of Cyber Sunday as the new WWE Champion…

Jeff is interrupted by some generic Rammstein knockoff music.  Vladimir Kozlov says that he’ll beat Triple H like he did to Jeff Hardy last week.  We can only delay it momentarily, but Vladimir Kozlov will be champion.  Triple H says that he didn’t understand a word Vladimir said, but either way, here’s what’s going to happen at Cyber Sunday:  He drops Jeff Hardy with the Pedigree.

We’re reminded of how to vote for our choice in the WWE Championship match at Cyber Sunday.  Since I care about you guys, I’m not going to tell you how to do it, because there’s no point of you guys wasting a buck per vote.

Hunter got backstage pretty quickly, and he runs into The Undertaker.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE REWIND:  Maria wins herself a shot at Michelle McCool’s WWE Diva’s Championship when she pulls a pair of fuzzy dice off of a pole.

Speaking of Maria and Michelle McCool, they’re tag team partners tonight, and interestingly came to the ring together to Maria’s music.  Later on tonight, The Great Khali will be once again hosting the Kiss Cam.  Maria and Michelle’s opponents are Maryse and Natalya.

Maryse & Natalya def. Michelle McCool & Maria

We get a “HURRIPOP” just before the bell rings.  Gregory Helms says “Divas – Giggidy!”  Michelle and Maryse kick things off here, with Michelle taking control early but allowing herself to get distracted by Natalya, giving Maryse the opportunity to take control for her team.  As the match progresses, some Mariachi music starts, and Festus is apparently the leader of the band.  He comes out and hands Maria a flower.  Michelle went to tag Maria, but she was distracted by Festus.  Maryse rolled up Michelle to pick up the victory.

After the bell rang to end the match, Festus went through his transition and chased the Mariachi band out of the arena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Still to come, Triple H vs. The Undertaker.  But first, it’s Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely in tag team action!

Primo & Carlito def. Chavo Guerrero & Bam Neely

Chavito starts things off with Carlito, which is a back and forth encounter.  Carlito gets the tag in to Primo and the Colons start taking control of this match.  Chavito tags in Bam, and Primo keeps control of the match, using his quickness to counteract the power of the much larger Neely.  Bam winds up hitting a brutal clotheseline, and as Bam whips Primo into the ropse, Carlito makes the tag.  The brothers make uses of double team manuvers, but Bam winds up getting the tag in to Chavo.  Guerrero holds control momentarily until Primo allows himself to be distracted by Neely.  Chavo and Bam argue before Guerrero tags Neely in.  Bam misses a clotheline on Primo and tages Chavo down instead.  Primo gets the tag to Carlito, who uses his speed, much like Primo did earlier, to his advantage.  Bam and Chavo argue some more, leading to Bam slapping Chavo in the face, and Bam getting caught with a Backstabber, allowing Carlito and Primo to pick up the win!

After the match, Chavo yells to Bam in the ring “I made you!”  In the “Hurrapop,” Helms says he’s not sure if he could bear a break up between Chavo and Bam.

We then get a promo for Kizarny, who I have fond memories of watching back in his NSPW days when he performed as “The Original SiNN”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WrestleMania tickets go on sale November 8th!  I won’t be attending this time around, I don’t think.

We get a promo about John Cena for some reason.  Why are we getting this on SmackDown when he’s a RAW Superstar Entertainer?

Backstage, Maria is confronted by Michelle.  Maria says that she’s going to check on her friend Festus.  Michelle says that they’re going to talk right now.  Maria blows her off and goes looking for Festus.

Meanwhile, Primo is trying to hook up with Brie Bella when Carlito comes by and wonders what they’re talking about.  She says she’s got a photo shoot to go to and leaves.  As Primo and Carlito discuss who’s fault that was, the Mariachi band runs by, being chased by Festus, who is being chased by Maria.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  (Already?!?)

WWE Smack of the Week (even though it happened two weeks ago):  Ron Killings decides to find out what Funaki’s first name is.  It’s Kung.  And Funaki is actually his middle name (Fu) and his last name (Naki).  Then Killings sings about it to the tune of “Kung Fu Fighting.”

Speaking of Ron Killings, he’s rapping through the crowd on his way to the ring.  GET ROWDY! WHAT’S UP!  There’s a generic version of “Kung Fu Fighting” playing afterwards as Kung Fu Naki is making his way to the ring.  Fu Naki comes out dressed like a karate blackbelt.

As MVP’s music starts, we get another “Hurrapop,” and Gregory Helms ponders where MVP’s tunnel is, and assumes he lost that too.  MVP’s partner is the United States Champion, Shelton Benjamin.  Shelton doesn’t get a match on the Pay Per View, he gets the pre-show match on WWE.com, where we can pick either MVP, R-Truth, or Festus as his opponent.

R-Truth & Kung Fu Naki def. MVP & Shelton Benjamin

Naki starts the match off with MVP, and the man in the Karate Gi uses his Kung Fu to send MVP scurrying for the tag.  He gets a few karate moves on the US Champion before tagging in R-Truth.  That was a mistake, because MVP and Benjamin take over.  Truth finally gets some separation from MVP and tags in Naki.  Naki utilizes the Crane fighting style and kicks MVP in the face to pick up the victory!

Backstage, Carlito & Primo are arguing over who gets first dibs on Brie Bella.  Carlito obliges.  Primo walks up and puts his arms around Brie, who asks what he’s doing.  He says he was saying hi.  She asks if he says hi to everybody like that, and she walks away.  Primo is confronted by The Great Khali.  Ranjin Singh explains that The Great Khali says that Primo’s got no game, and to pay attention because the Khali Kiss Cam is up next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Tazz is rocking some 3D glasses and reading the new 3D edition of WWE Magazine.

The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh are making their way to the ring.  Ranjin is carrying a sack.  Last week, The Great Khali confronted The Big Show.  Khali takes the mic and speaks in Indian.  Ranjin dumps the sack out in the middle of the ring and we see it’s filled with mail for The Great Khali.  Apparently he’s recieved thousands of love letters from women all over the world who wanted to kiss Khali.  Ranjin reads two letters he selected at random.  The first one is from somebody who had a crush on John Cena, but now has a crush on The Great Khali.  The second one is from somebody who loves Khali’s body and would love to show him a real good time.  It’s from Bruce in San Fransisco.  Khali says that’s just wrong.  Anyways, forget the love letters, here’s the kiss cam!  Who wants to kiss The Great Khali?  The show a bunch of not half bad looking girls, they pick one of them.  Tazz escorts her into the ring.  Ranjin decides to pick a second volunteer as well.  The show a bunch of not half bad looking girls again, and pick a big fat plant girl.  Ranjin brings the first girl to Khali, and as he leans in to kiss her, Ranjin stops him.  He tells Khali that anybody can kiss “that one,” but it takes a giant to kiss the other one.  Ranjin asks for some encouragement from the fans in Laredo, and gets a “Khali” chant going.   He leans in and plants a big kiss right on the girl’s lips.  Let’s hear it for The Great Khali!

Still to come, Triple H takes on The Undertaker.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to another vignette for Kizarny

We get a rundown of the Cyber Sunday card and how you can vote in the various matches.

Undertaker says that The Big Show and Vickie Guerrero haven’t sealed his fate, he’s sealed theirs.  As far as Triple H, Hunter walks with him into the darkness tonight, and whether Trips leaves the darkness is a question they both must answer.

Triple H takes on The Undertaker later on tonight.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>(again, already?!?)

The Brian Kendrick is feeling better this week, and will be in action tonight!  Hooray!  Super Crazy actually gets an entrance this week, and I relize that his highlights in his Titan Tron video are from an old ECW match against Little Guido.

The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy

Crazy starts off on offense.  Seriously.  Shocking, I know, but I’m not lying to you.  Crazy lets himself get distracted, and The Kendrick kicks him in the face over the referee’s head.  The referee argues with The Brian Kendrick, who yells “I’m sorry!” and nails Super Crazy with The Kendrick, and picks up the win.

After the match, Ezekiel nails Crazy with a Rock Bottom sort of move.

Up next, it’s The Undertaker vs. Triple H!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get a video package highlighting SmackDown and ECW’s trip to Mexico.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening, and it is scheduled for ONE FALL!

Time to play the gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

Triple H makes his way to the ring, prepared for action against The Phenom of the WWE.  Undertaker takes forever to get to the ring (like five minutes.  Seriously!) and we head to a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H vs. The Undertaker

Apparently these guys have been standing here for the past three minutes, because we come back and the bell rings.  The match starts off slowly, with the deadman getting the upper hand of a majority of the exchanges.  That’s not to say that The Game doesn’t get in his share.  It’s a pretty back and forth match for the first few minutes.  Taker tries to dropkick Triple H in the corner or something along those lines, but the WWE Champion moves, and Taker tangles himself up in the ropes.   Trips takes advantage momentarily but then we get back to back and forth action.  Hunter winds up getting ‘Taker set up for a Pedigree, but ‘Taker got out of it, catapulting Trips into the buckle.  The match continues to go back and forth, with a few near falls added in.  It’s not as thrilling as it sounds.  If I weren’t reviewing this, I probably would’ve changed the channel and came back in 10 minutes for the finish.  Taker goes for The Last Ride.  Hunter counters with a neckbreaker for two.  Taker goes for a chokeslam.  Hunter counters with an Irish whip and a Spinebuster, but only gets two.   Hunter counters another chokeslam going for the Pedigree, but ‘Taker counters, going for a Tombstone, but that’s countered as well.  Taker finally drops The Game with a Last Ride, but ‘Taker can’t capitalze because he’s exhausted.  This leads the way for The Big Show to come out and attack, causing the match to end in a no contest.

The Game tries to take Show out with a chair, but Show turns around and chokeslams him.  He then uses the chair to work over The Undertaker.  Show stands tall in the ring over The Undertaker and Triple H, then leaves.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>(seriously?)

We come back to a recap of what happened before the break as The Game still struggles to get up.  Taker’s already out of the ring, and as Trips gets to his feet, Vladimir Kozlov comes to the ring and attacks him.  Kozlov drops Triple H with three clutch headbutts.  The Game gets back up, and Kozlov drops him with another headbutt, followed by a reverse DDT.  Kozlov stands tall over the WWE Champion as we fade to black.

My Thoughts: Meh, it was ok.  Certainly better than the live iMPACT last night.  That’s all I really have to say about it.  JT will be along with an article on Cyber Sunday sometime over the weekend, so stay tuned for that!

The post SmackDown in REAL-TIME! 10/24/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

SmackDown is on MyNetwork TV right now!  Check your local listings to find out where you can watch in your area, and keep refreshing every few minutes for the latest updates!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Finlay, & Batista def. MVP, JBL, The Brian Kendrick, & Kane when Hardy pinned MVP.

Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella def United States Champion Shelton Benjamin by pinfall after a distraction from R-Truth.

Mark Henry & The Great Khali def. Chavo Guerrero via submission when Khali locked in the vice grip.

CM Punk& The Colons def. Team Priceless when Punk pinned Ted DiBiase.

WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix def. WWE Diva’s Champion Michelle McCool via pinfall after The Glam Slam.

WWE Champion Triple H def. World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. ECW Champion Matt Hardy by pinning Hardy in a triple threat match.

Detailed results after the jump!

Keep clicking refresh for the latest updates!

SmackDown kicks off with it’s new opening video, the pyro goes off, and we are ready to go on MyNetwork TV from Green Bay, WI!  All the champions in the WWE are in the house, every major superstar, and tonight’s main event features Triple H taking on Chris Jericho and Matt Hardy in a Triple Threat Match!

Speaking of Hardys, the first superstar to make his entrance on MyNetwork TV is the number one contender for the WWE Championship, Jeff Hardy!  He’s seconded by Rey Mysterio, followed by Finlay, and then RAW’s Animal, Batista.  They’re in 8 man tag action, if I heard Justin Roberts’ match introduction correctly.  MVP makes his way out and we get our first “Pop-Up Hurricane” of the night, saying that MVP is the highest paid superstar on the SmackDown roster, and that Helms wants a raise.  MVP’s followed out by JBL, The Brian Kendrick, and The Big Red Monster, Kane.

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Finlay, & Batista def. MVP, JBL, The Brian Kendrick, & Kane

Finlay and The Brian Kendrick start things off here, and leave it to the WWE to throw me a match that’s going to be fast paced and chaotic to kick off a real-time review.  Finlay takes control and tags in Batista, who gets a huge pop as he comes in to work over the much smaller Kendrick.  Finlay gets tagged back in and maintains control, manhandling Kendrick.  MVP tries to come to Kendrick’s aid on the outside but is cut off by a Hornswoggle clothesline from the apron, which sends us to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to Finlay clotheslining Kendrick to the canvas and tagging in the high-flying Rey Mysterio, who works over Kendrick for a second before taking a moment to glare at Kane.  Jeff Hardy gets tagged in and continues the all out assault on The Brian Kendrick.  When Jeff tags Finlay back in, Kendrick starts to mount a comeback.  He starts to show off, but Hornswoggle distracts him by taking his jacket and mocking Kendrick.  Finlay clotheslines Kendrick when he chases Hornswoggle, and then Finlay caught a clothesline from Ezekiel Jackson on the outside.  JBL rolls Finlay back into the ring and then accepts a tag from The Brian Kendrick.  He takes control over Finlay, and then tags in Kane, who continues the offense.  The heel team cuts Finlay off from his teammates and start to use quick tags, as MVP comes in and starts to work over the Fighting Irishman.  JBL gets the tag in, continuing the assault, and Kane dishes out a few cheap shots behind the referee’s back for good measure.  JBL telegraphs a backdrop, and gets DDT’d for his trouble.  Finlay crawls over to his corner, and Batista gets the tag in as JBL tags MVP.  The Animal starts cleaning house, even breaking a Kane chokeslam attempt.  He drops MVP with a spinebuster and sets of up for the Batista Bomb, but it’s broken up by Kendrick, who gets a backdrop for his trouble.  Batista tags in Rey Mysterio, allows him to climb on his shoulders and jump off onto MVP.  Mysterio sets Kendrick up for the 619, but MVP is the legal man.  He then gets MVP set up right next to Kendrick, and as he bounces off the ropes to go for the 619, he’s pulled out of the ring by Kane, which sends us to another…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kane takes Mysterio down as we come back, then locks him in a chinlock.  The commentators talk about the stipulation in Rey and Kane’s upcoming match as if Rey had never been unmasked before, which we all know isn’t true.  Anyways, Kane tags Kendrick, who locks in a Camel Clutch on Mysterio before tagging in JBL, who continues working over Rey, hitting a fallaway slam, getting a one count before Batista broke up the pin attempt.  JBL tags MVP, who continues the beating of Rey Mysterio before tagging in The Brian Kendrick, who stomps Mysterio from the top rope, only getting a two count.  Rey finally starts to battle back, taking Kendrick over with a headscizzors.  Rey tags in Jeff Hardy, who goes for a Twist of Fate, which is reversed, but Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind.   All hell starts to break loose, as predicted, and in the chaos, Mysterio drops MVP with a 619, which is followed up by a Swanton Bomb from Hardy, who picks up the victory for his team!

We get a recap of the events that have taken place since Unforgiven surrounding The Undertaker, The Big Show, and Vickie Guerrero.  Guerrero is apparently not here tonight according to JR.

Speaking of The Big Show, he’s walking backstage!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Mike Adamle is in the back with Teddy Long and Tiffany.  Big Show wants to know why they’re in Vickie’s office.  They’re here to represent their respective brands.  Tiffany asks how Vickie is.  Show tells them to get out of his office.  Chavo comes in and says he made it and that his back is killing him from what ‘Taker did to him last week.  He says they need a plan to stop The Undertaker from getting him again.  Show tells him to shut up, he’s in charge and everything will be fine.  Chavo says that because he’s a Guerrero, he should be in charge.  Show says screw that.  Chavo’s got a match.  Chavo calls shenanigans.  Show says that if Chavo doesn’t wrestle in his match, he’ll have a match with The Big Show.  Chavo backs down and says it’s cool.

Santino Marella makes his way down to the ring with The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix.  We get another “Pop-Up Hurricane,” and Helms says that if Honky Tonk Man saw Santino, he’d be turning in his grave.  Wait, he’s not dead?  Oh.  Helms is just saying.  Anyways, Santino says it’s great to be here as a part of SmackDown’s all-star kickoff.  If you didn’t know, he’s the Intercontinental Champion and the most feared man in the WWE.  He’s got numbers to back it up.  He calls for the Honk-A-Meter.  Honky Tonk Man was champion for 64 weeks, and Santino has been champion for 6.71 weeks.  Tonight he’s going to beat Goldylocks, who is only champion of the United States.  Santino is the champion of all the continents, which makes him champion of planet Earth!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Shelton calls Santino “Beth Phoenix’s Girlfriend.”  He tells us not to blink because… I don’t know, he’s going to win pretty quick or something.

Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella def. United States Champion Shelton Benjamin

The two men start off comparing championship gold.  Marella hooks in a headlock, but Benjamin powers out of it and kicks Marella in his face.  From there, Benjamin goes on the offense.  He drops Marella with Pay Dirt as R-Truth’s music starts.  He’s up in the crowd rapping his theme song.  Benjamin takes a moment to stomp Santino before turning his attention to Truth.  He tosses Marella into the buckle for good measure before durning his back to Marella and allowing himself to be powerbombed and pinned by the Intercontinental Champion!

Truth dances his way back up the aisle as Shelton sits fuming in the ring.  Truth looks back at him from the stage and simply says “What’s Up!”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Weelllllllllllllllllllllllllllll it’s The Big Show!

The Big Show is angry and marching down to the ring.  Show says he wants Vickie to rest easy, he’s got it all under control on SmackDown.  Everybody knows why Chavo is going to be in action.  Show’s arranged for a very special match to make Vickie feel better.

Oooooooooooooh, Chavo!

Chavo makes his way to the ring, looking confused as to what Show could possibly mean.  It turns to a look of disgust when his opponent is announced… Mark Henry.

Oh yeah, and his tag team partner, The Great Khali!

Mark Henry & The Great Khali def. Chavo Guerrero

Henry and Khali argue about who’s going to start.  Apparently Henry won the argument.  Big Show is standing ringside as The World’s Strongest Man takes Chavito down.  He tags in the Punjabi Giant, The Great Khali, who hits a move before tagging Henry back in.  Henry drops Chavo with a World’s Strongest Slam, then tags Khali back in.  Khali locks in the vice grip as The Big Show applauds.  The referee calls for the bell, and Chavo has lost this match.

Khali throws Chavo out to the floor and at the feet of The Big Show, who picks Chavo up and nails him with a huge right hand.  Show calls for the microphone.  He says that he hopes The Undertaker is watching, because he could easily do what he just did to Chavo to The Undertaker.  Big Show will show No Mercy at No Mercy (get it?).  The bell tolls, the lights go out, and The Big Show exits the ring and heads up the ramp.  When the lights come back on, ‘Taker is standing in the ring looking up the aisle at his No Mercy opponent.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Team Priceless is in the ring, and they get the Picture in Picture treatment, saying that RAW is the best brand in sports entertainment.  Wrestling is a treasured legacy for the World Tag Team Champions and their pal Manu.

The WWE Tag Team Champions make their way out to the ring, and they’re dressing the same now, with Primo adopting Carlito’s long pants with his name down the leg.  Carlito says that instead of going two on two tonight and leaving Manu to look like more of an idiot than he usually does, let’s make it a six man tag.  Team Priceless agrees, and Primo says “That’s cool,”  much to the dismay of his brother Carlitio.  Anywho, their tag team partner is the former World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk.

CM Punk & The Colons def. Team Priceless

Punk walks across the ring and slaps Cody Rhodes as soon as he steps in the ring.  Kicking off the match, however, are Primo and Ted DiBiase.  The chaos starts early as both sets of Tag champions end up in the ring at the same time.  When things calm down, it’s Team Priceless who get control, at least until CM Punk gets tagged in.  When all hell breaks loose in this one and the dust settles, it’s CM Punk hitting the GTS on Ted DiBiase for the victory.

Jesse and Festus get a thank you from JR who says that they helped them move.

The Divas are on their way to the ring, where WWE Diva’s Champion.Michelle McCool will take on Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix in a lumberjack match!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoneix def. Diva’s Champion Michelle McCool in a Lumberjill match.

You’ll have to forgive me, I didn’t get much sleep last night and dozed off at the start of this one.  When I woke up, Beth lured Michelle to the outside, where she was tripped up by Maryse.  Back in the ring though, McCool, starts trying to use kicks to beat down The Glamazon, but Beth winds up catching her with the Glam Slam to pick up the victory.

Still to come, WWE Champion Triple H vs. World Champion Chris Jericho vs. ECW Champion Matt Hardy.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  (you know, it doesn’t help that a commercial for a video game has a soothing voice singing “Twinkle, Twinkle” while I’m trying to stay awake)

We get a video package detailing the recent history between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, starting with Unforgiven.

JR and Tazz run down the No Mercy card.

It’s main event time!

The ECW Champion, Matt Hardy,  makes his way to the ring first….

It’s time to play the game… TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

The WWE Champion, Triple H makes his way out next.  Speaking of which, that’s when this match is going to start!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Rewind:  Degeneration X assaults Lance Cade on RAW

The World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, heads to the ring, and we’re ready to go!

WWE Champion Triple H def. World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho vs. ECW Champion Matt Hardy in a triple threat match.

The three men are hesitant to start things off in this one, as nobody is sure who’s going to do what.  Jericho slaps Hardy in the face, which prompts Hardy to go after him.  Triple H joins in and they take turns beating up RAW’s representative in this match.  Hardy sends Jericho shoulder first into the steel post and turns around into a Game DDT.  The Game suplexes Jericho and goes for a cover, but only gets two.  Jericho takes a turn on offense against the Cereberal Assasin, but after Triple H turns the tide back into his favor, Matt Hardy attacks H-cubed and goes on the offense.  Jericho winds up taking control as both of his opponents battle on the apron, as he sends them crashing to the floor with a dropkick, and us crashing into…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Matt Hardy drops a middle rope elbow on Jericho as we come back.  As Matt goes to bounce off the ropes, Triple H pulls the ring ropes down, sending Hardy once again crashing to the floor.  Meanwhile, Jericho takes control of the match until The Game drops him with a spinebuster.  He goes for the Pedigree but he’s distracted by Matt Hardy climbing the ropes.  Jericho sends Triple H crashing into the turnbuckle, which winds up crotching Hardy on the top rope.  Jericho dumps The Game to the outside before turning his attention to Hardy, going for a superplex.  The Game came in with the assist, powerbombing Jericho down as he superplexes Hardy.  The Game is the first to his feet, and he slaps a sleeper onto Jericho.  Jericho reverses into a back suplex.  Jericho misses the Lionsault but lands on his feet, perhaps jamming his knee.  As Trips goes to capitalize, he decides to knock Hardy off the apron, which allows Jericho enough of a distraction to slap on the Walls of Jericho.  Triple H fights but he can’t get to the ropes.  He’s finally saved when Hardy comes running in.  Jericho goes for the Walls on Hardy, but Hardy reverses it into a rollup for two.  He blocks Jericho’s bulldog attempt and takes control of the match.  Jericho goes for a surprise Codebreaker, but Hardy avoids it and again only gets a two count.  He drops Jericho with the Side Effect, but the opportunistic WWE Champion drops the ECW Champion with a Pedigree and picks up the victory.

After the match, Jericho drops Triple H with a Codebreaker.  He goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder.  He rams the ladder into Matt Hardy’s face, then sandwiches him between the sides of the ladder.  Matt’s brother Jeff comes out and makes the save, clotheslining the man formerly known as Y2J out of the ring.  Triple H gets up and sees his No Mercy opponent.  Jeff Hardy quickly drops him with a Twist of Fate, then climbs the ladder.  Vladimir Kozlov comes out, and headbutts Jeff Hardy out of midair before dropping Triple H with his finisher.  The Moscow Mauler stands tall to end an impressive first showing of the WWE’s Friday night program on MyNetwork TV!

My Thoughts:

I was tired coming into my viewing of the show, and I dosed off during a commercial.  I only missed a little bit of one match, and that’s not to knock that match – it was pretty decent.  I got to watch this show in HD, which is going to be my usual Friday Night viewing habit from now on.  Interestingly enough, as of Midnight this morning, my cable provider’s CW affiliate (as well as our CBS affiliate) pulled their programming from the provider’s lineup.  I’m siding with the cable company on this one.

I still get a news show after SmackDown, but I like the presentation a bit better because they don’t immediately start their broadcast with shocking news like murders or fatal car crashes.  Actually, one of the stories they’re promoting for tonight is how Bills fans can catch the team’s game this Sunday since it was supposed to air on our local CBS affiliate, which a lot of the people in our area don’t currently get.

Anyways, I digress.  I enjoyed tonight’s show, and I’m going to make an attempt to watch No Mercy this weekend, but not doing real-time.  I’ll try to get in a quick No Mercy preview with predictions before Sunday’s show.  Have a good night, guys!

The post SmackDown in MyRealTime; 10/3/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Teddy Long announces Miz, Morrison, and Mark Henry vs.  Ricky Ortiz, Evan Bourne, and Matt Hardy for later tonight.

Jack Swagger def. Lenny Lane

Mike Knox def. Tommy Dreamer

Mark Henry, The Miz, & John Morrison def. Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, & Ricky Ortiz

Full details, after the jump!

ECW kicks off with Tiffany in the ring introducing GM Theodore Long.  She then introduces the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy!  Matt comes to the ring, and Tiffany introduces Matt’s No Mercy opponent, Mark Henry, who is accompanied by Tony Atlas.  Long reminds them that we’re just five days away from No Mercy.  Long said he wanted to bring them together face to face one last time for any final comments before the match.  Henry says that Matt’s got a bad week ahead of him.  Not just No Mercy, but Friday, he’s wrestling Triple H and Chris Jericho in a championship triple-threat.  He says that Long wishes Henry was still ECW Champion so that ECW would win that match, as opposed to Matt, who will suck.  Matt says he’ll represent ECW proudly and he’ll do just fine.  Henry says that’s the problem.  Matt shouldn’t be in the match.  Matt didn’t beat him for the title, nobody did.  On Sunday though, he’ll right all the wrongs.  Matt says it’s a big week for him, the kind of week he knew he’d face as ECW Champion.  It’s the kind of week he likes.  He loves the challenge.  He realizes that the title isn’t all about him, it’s about representing all the ECW Superstars and fans.  It’s not about feeding your ego or getting a Hall of Famer to carry your bags.  It’s not about puffing out your chest and saying “I’m the World’s Strongest Champion.”  Nope, it’s about being the ECW Champion, and on Sunday he’ll prove it once and for all.  Henry says to say that to his face.  Long says he doesn’t want it to break out into a fight, this is not the place.  John Morrison’s music hits.  Miz says that if Long wants action, like the action they gave last week against each other?  Morrison says it was the match of the year until Ricky Ortiz ruined it.  Morrison says they want Ortiz and Evan Bourne in the ring right now.  They call them nerds and start chanting “nerds.”  Long says that since Henry and Hardy want action too, it’s going to be Miz, Morrison, and Mark Henry taking on Ricky Ortiz, Evan Bourne, and Matt Hardy.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back from break, The All-American American Jack Swagger is making his way to the ring.  He’ll be taking on… HOLY CRAP!  IT’S LENNY LANE!

Jack Swagger def. LENNY FREAKIN’ LANE!

I almost didn’t recognize Lenny.  I almost called him “some jobber” before I saw his name on the screen.  Swagger dominated and squashed the former WCW Superstar before hitting the Red White and Blue Thunderbomb for the win.

After the match, Swagger hit Lane with a neckbreaker, prompting Tommy Dreamer to run to his aid, chasing Swagger away.  Dreamer will be in action, next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Mike Knox def. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer’s already in the ring when we come back, and Mike Knox makes his way out.  Knox starts off on offense, but the “O.G. of Extreme,” Tommy Dreamer holds his own.  That’s not to say that Dreamer is getting a heck of a lot of offense in, just that he’s managing to defend himself well.  That said, Dreamer starts to build some momentum, taking Knox down and getting a two count.  He maintains his offense by drop-toeholding Knox into the middle turnbuckle, but he misses when he goes to charge in.  Knox capitalizes and hits his finisher on Dreamer for the victory.

After the match, Jack Swagger makes his way back out to the ring.  He attacks a defenseless Dreamer, dropping him with the Red White and Blue Thunderbomb.

Still to come, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, and Ricky Ortiz to take on Miz, Morrison, and Mark Henry!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Metallica is thanked for the theme for No Mercy, “All Nightmare Long” from Death Magnetic.

We get a WrestleMania video package, hyping up this Thursday’s airing of WrestleMania on MyNetwork TV.  That’s on for one hour at 8PM, so you iMPACT viewers can still catch TNA’s program.

Then we get a rundown of the No Mercy card.  No Mercy is this Sunday night at 8PM on Pay Per View.

Miz’s music hits, and he and John Morrison make their way to the ring for 6 man tag team action.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The rest of the competitors make their way out to the ring when we get back, and we’re set for our ECW main event…

Mark Henry, The Miz, & John Morrison def. Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy & Ricky Ortiz

Bourne kicks things off with The Miz.  The Chick Magnet backs Air Bourne into the corner, and goes on the attack.  When the referee forces a break, Bourne takes advantage and goes on the offense.  He gets the tag in to Ricky Ortiz, who continues the offense for his team.  Morrison gets tagged in, and gets a bit of offense in before Ortiz takes back over.  He tags Bourne back in, and Bourne gets tripped up by The Miz on the outside, giving Morrison the opportunity to go on the offense.  Morrison keeps control and tags in The Miz, who continues working over Bourne.  Bourne manages to escape and get the hot tag in to ECW Champion Matt Hardy, who goes on the offensive, dropping Miz with the side effect, and taking care of an interfering Morrison as well.  When Hardy takes out the former WWE Tag Team Champions by himself, Mark Henry enters the ring, and he’s confronted by all three of his opponents as we go to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back from break, Hardy is in control of Morrison.  He tags in Ricky Ortiz, who maintains control for his team.  The team of Bourne, Ortiz, and Hardy utilize quick tags to keep Morrison in their corner and keep a fresh man in the ring.  When Morrison finally makes it to his own corner, it’s bad news for the faces – he gets the tag in to Mark Henry, who proceeds to work over Ortiz.  Henry back Ortiz into the corner, where The Miz tags in and works over Ortiz.  Apparently at some point there was a “King Mabel” reference from Matt Striker, but I missed it.  Grisham told him to keep it more current.  Anyways, I digress.  Now it’s the heels utilizing the quick tags/cut off the ring strategy.   Hardy and Bourne try to will on Ortiz, and it seems to work, as he picks Morrison up and drops him.  As Ortiz reaches for the tag, Morrison tags in The Miz, who stops him from getting there.   Matt Striker says that Ortiz is in quite a quagmire then says “giggity giggity.”  Ortiz gets the tag in to Bourne, who starts to take it to John Morrison.  He hits the top rope and takes Morrison down with flying knees.  This is when all hell starts to break loose.  In the confusion, Henry gets tagged in and starts manhandling Evan Bourne, putting him down with the World’s Strongest Slam for the victory!

And that’s it.  That’s the end of the show.

My Thoughts:

An hour long commercial for No Mercy and SmackDown’s move to MyNetworkTV.  Yup, that’s what it was.  Not necessarily a bad show, in fact it was pretty decent for what it was.  I enjoyed it, and I’ll see you guys Friday morning with TNA iMPACT coverage!

The post ECW in REAL-TIME! 9/30/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

You know how it works by now; quick results up here and full results after the jump!  This page will be updated throughout the night so keep your finger on that “refresh” button!

Triple H & Jeff Hardy def. MVP & The Brian Kendrick via pinfall.

Maria & Brie Bella def. Victoria & Natalya via pinfall.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Great Khali went to a no contest when Triple H and Jeff Hardy got involved.

Chavo Guerrero def. Jimmy Wang Yang via pinfall.

Carlito & Primo def. Ryder and Hawkins to win the WWE Tag Team Championship!

Undertaker gets to Vickie after taking out Chavo and luring away The Big Show.  He drops her with a Tombstone, leaving the last image of SmackDown’s tenure on the CW Network as The Undertaker standing over a fallen Vickie Guerrero.

Full details after the jump!

SmackDown kicks off with a video package showing Vladimir Kozlov’s assaults on both Jeff Hardy and Triple H.

The pyro goes off and JR welcomes us to the show.

We cut backstage to Vickie Guerrero’s office where she’s with Chavo and asking what The Undertaker told him.  Chavo says that ‘Taker’s hands were around his neck and getting tighter and tighter, and that he couldn’t breathe.  He thought his head was going to pop.  He thought he would pass out, but ‘Taker let go because he wanted Chavo to be a messenger.  He wanted Chavo to tell Vickie that tonight, he’s coming for her.  She sends Chavo to get The Big Show.  Chavo leaves and Jeff Hardy is there.  He says he doesn’t care when, he wants a match with Vladimir Kozlov.  She tells him that she told Triple H earlier that the two of them need to focus on their match at No Mercy and their tag team match later tonight.  Jeff goes to leave, and The Big Show is in the office.

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

The WWE Champion is out and dressed to compete, so it looks like we’re kicking things off with tag team action tonight.  Jeff Hardy’s music pretty much confirms it as the Charismatic Enigma makes his way to the ring…

Triple H & Jeff Hardy def. MVP & The Brian Kendrick

Hardy and MVP start off, and take turns wrenching each others arms before Hardy tags in Triple H, who works over the arm a bit more.  The two No Mercy opponents work well early on, cutting MVP off from The Brian Kendrick and making quick tags.  MVP takes Hardy down and gets to his corner for the tag, and the back and forth nature of this match continues.  MVP gets a tag in, Hardy takes him down and tags Triple H, who sends MVP out of the ring and us to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back with MVP and Triple H still legal, but MVP on the advantage, as Big Zeke distracted Triple H on the outside, allowing for The Brian Kendrick to strike.  MVP tags in Kendrick, who works over Triple H, attempting to wear him down with a submission move.  Hunter fights out and takes Kendrick down long enough to get the tag to Jeff Hardy, who picks up the pace and takes control of the match.  He drops Kendrick with a Twist of Fate, but his attempt to climb the ropes is thwarted by Ezekiel, sending Hardy crashing and burning to the mat.  Kendrick only managed a two count though, and he tags in MVP.  MVP bounces Hardy around the ring, and cuts the ring in half.  He tags in Kendrick, who continues the assault on the number one contender.  He locks in a Camel Clutch.  While he has it locked in, he tags MVP, who comes in and continues the offense and locks in a submission hold of his own.  Hardy fights back to his feet and tries to tag Triple H, but MVP cut him off, getting a cheap shot in on Triple H for good measure.  MVP tags in The Brian Kendrick, who maintains the offense and keeps Hardy away from his corner, at least until Jeff hit a Whisper in the Wind.  Both men manage to make tags at the same time.  Triple H takes control over MVP, hitting a facebuster and a big clothesline for a two count.  He drops MVP with a spinebuster, followed by one for Kendrick.  He goes for the Pedigree, but Kendrick kicks him in the face.  Hardy clotheslines Kendrick out of the ring.  MVP misses a driveby kick on Triple H, who then hits the Pedigree for the victory!

After the match, Jeff hands Triple H the WWE Championship and shakes his hand.

We then go to a video package detailing the destructive force of The Great Khali.

Still to come, Khali takes on Vladimir Kozlov

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

it appears there’s been a bit of a hiccup with our web server, so I’m actually typing this in Notepad right now.  Hopefully our down time won’t last too long…

JR thanks the CW Network for the privilidge of airing the WWE’s programming for the last nine years, and they wish the CW Network the best in the future.

WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand:  Hulk Hogan & Roddy Piper took on Sid Justice & Ric Flair.

AIN’T NO STOPPIN ME NOW!

The WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin makes his way to the ring.  He’s got a microphone, and reminds us that he’s US Champion and SmackDown’s Gold Standard.  They call him that because he’s set a new standard of excellence in the WWE with his athletic ability, his attitude, and his lifestyle.  There are others on the roster who live by no standards at all.  Like, for example, R-Truth.  He’s got no business in the WWE.  Singing and dancing?  It’s a joke.  Smoke and Mirrors.  R-Truth is nothing but a street urchin.  What kills Shelton is that the fans are so blind that they join him in that ridiculous “What’s up” chant.  Shelton’ll tell us what’s up.  R-Truth…

WHAT’S UP!

Truth comes out through the crowd singing his theme song, and apparently we’re back online!  That’s What’s Up!  Now it’s time to get rowdy!  In the ring, R-Truth asks Shelton Benjamin, “WHAT’S UP?”  Benjamin drops his mic and leaves to the boos of the crowd.  Truth’s music starts up again and he starts rapping and dancing in the ring.

Next week, The WWE Intercontinental Champion takes on Shelton Benjamin on the SmackDown on MyNetwork TV All-Star Kickoff!

Up next, Maria & Brie Bella in action.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  – the SmackDown Mobile Slam game asked me if I thought Triple H’s real name is Hagen Horatio Hardy.  Seriously.

JR thanks Metallica for the theme for No Mercy, “All Nightmare Long.”  (Death Magnetic is in stores now, and highly recommended by yours truly).

Maria & Brie Bella def. Victoria & Natalya

Maria and Victoria lock up to start things off.  Victoria uses her power to her advantage early, but Maria uses her quickness to roll Victoria up for a two count.  Maria tags in Brie Bella, who holds her own for about 10 seconds before the power game of Victoria took over and allowed her to tag Natalya, who uses her power and experience to her advantage.  Brie, like Maria earlier, uses her quickness to pull some defensive moves, but Natalya is just too powerful.  She drops Brie in her team’s corner and tags in Victoria who maintains control in the match, even knocking Maria off the apron for good measure.  Victoria catches Brie trying to for a headscizzor and tosses her out of the ring.  Brie escapes under the ring and just as quickly comes out refreshed.  She tags in Maria, who drops Victoria with a flying cross body off the top rope for the victory.

We get a video package detailing the awesome power of Vladimir Kozlov.  He’ll take on The Great Khali, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Great Khali

Kozlov demanded competition, well, he’s sure as hell got it.  Khali towers over him by about a foot from my estimates based on how it looks on my TV.  Kozlov tries for some power moves early, but that’s obviously not going to work.  Kozlov fights out of a Tree Slam, but gets hit with a big tomahawk chop and a big boot, sending Kozlov out of the ring.  He pulls Khali out with him by the ankles, but Khali regains composure and tries to charge at Kozlov, who moves out of the ring, sending Khali into the post…

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H’s music hits and he heads down to the ring.  He goes to get in the ring with Kozlov.  He steps in and Kozlov steps out.  Khali tries to attack the WWE Champion from behind, but gets caught.  Triple H can’t fight off both big men though, Kozlov and Khali assault The Game, until Jeff Hardy comes out ot make the save.  He gets dropped by Khali, and then he becomes the victim of the two big men.  Triple H grabs a sledgehammer.  Kozlov bails, but Khali eats sledgehammer.  Kozlov wants competition, but not with a sledgehammer.  Trips drops it, and Kozlov approaches the ring, then hesitates, pointing at the hammer and waving his finger “no.”  He leaves as the fans boo, while Triple H and Jeff Hardy stand tall in the ring for the second time tonight.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get a rundown of the No Mercy card

Back in Vickie Guerrero’s office, she’s with The Big Show and Chavo, and they’re discussing The Undertaker.  Chavo says he thinks that The Undertaker might get to Vickie tonight.  Show says not to worry because Big Show can beat up The Undertaker.  Hell, here, let’s watch it again.

Big Show punching The Undertaker at No Mercy is the new Chris Jericho punching Rebecca Michaels at Summerslam.

Show says ‘Taker might get to Chavo, but he’s not getting to Vickie.  If he tries, Show will take him out of action.  Hey, speaking of action, Vickie says Chavo has a match, and it’s next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Ooooooooooooooooooooh Chavo!

We get a pop-up Hurricane, who ponders why Chavo is here when the Undertaker is after him.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

I thought Jimmy Wang Yang got released for some reason.  Probably because Shannon Moore, Yang’s tag team partner, was released.  Yang knocks Guerrero out of the ring, and Chavo freaks when the fans touch him, expecting The Undertaker.  Back in the ring, Yang goes for a move off the top ropes, and Guerrero dropkicks him out of mid air.  Firmly in control, Guerrero works over Yang in the corner, all the while looking over his shoulder for The Undertaker.  He cinches in an armbar, but Yang battles out of it, dropping Chavo with an enziguiri.  Chavo sends Yang out of the ring, chases him out, kicks him, and rolls him right back in.  He goes right back to the armbar.  Yang again battles out, and gets a longer big of offense this time around, scoring a couple of near falls on Guerrero.  He climbs the ropes, but Chavo shoves him, crotching him on the turnbuckle.  Yang fights Guerrero off, but misses a moonsault, fortunately landing on his feet.  Guerrero goes for the Three Amigos, but Yang rolls Guerrero up for another two count.  Guerrero picks up the victory with a flipping kick.

After the match, the lights go off for a moment and Guerrero hightails it out of the arena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the WWE Tag Team Championship!

I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL…

As Carlito and Primo make their way to the ring, we’re reminded of what happened last week on Carlito’s Cabana.

Carlito & Primo def. Hawkins & Ryder for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Primo starts things off with Curt Hawkins.  It looks to be a back and forth battle, but it doesn’t take long for Primo’s quickness to allow him to take over.  He tags in Carlito who maintains the offense.  The Colon Brothers use quick tags and cut off Hawkins from his partner, until a distraction from Ryder allows Hawkins to ram Carlito’s shoulder into the ringpost.  The champions use the old misdirection play to bring some underhanded tactics into play.  Carlito manages to fight back, albeit momentarily.  Hawkins and Ryder begin to cut Carlito off from Primo while utilizing quick tags.  The champions continue to bore the hell out of me in this match and they toss Carlito out of the ring and into a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back, and Hawkins is still working over Carlito, but this time as Ryder gets tagged in, Carlito shoves him into Hawkins, and manages to tag Primo and the pace of the match picks up. He hits a monkey flip and a superb missle dropkick on Ryder, but the pin attempt was broken up by Hawkins.  Primo tags Carlito back in with a blind tag that Ryder missed.  Carlito drops him with the backstabber and we’ve got NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

After the match, the MyMoving Company van is backed into the arena.

We cut backstage to Vickie’s office, where Chavo is freaked about what happened earlier and wants to know what’s going to happen.  Vickie says they’re going to the ring.  Chavo says he doesn’t want to go.  Vickie says he’s either coming with them or staying in her office alone.  Chavo follows behind.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

During the break, Jesse and Festus started moving things, and we find out that Ryan Braddock and Kenny Dykstra are still wrapped in bubble wrap in the back of the moving van.

JR and Tazz speculate on the whereabouts of Vickie Guerrero, The Big Show, and Chavo Guerrero, because they thought they’d be out to the ring by now.  As if on cue, Show’s music hits and the three of them make their way to the ring.  Vickie gets on the mic and says that they’re waiting for The Undertaker.  Where is he?  She shouldn’t have reinstated him to begin with.  He physically and mentally oblitherated her husband Edge.  He swore he’d take her soul (she actually flubbed this line and said that he swore he’d never take her soul), but he didn’t take anything.  Take a look.

Footage of Chris Jericho punching Rebecca Michaels at Summerslam Footage of Big Show knocking out The Undertaker at Unforgiven.

She wonders if The Undertaker is having second thoughts.  Chavo says it’s not a good idea.  Big Show says that everybody is waiting for ‘Taker to come out and save the day.  It’s not gonna happen, because The Undertaker lost his nerve.  He’s been humble.  Show has destroyed the myth of The Undertaker.

GONG!

The lights go out.  When they come back on, Chavo is gone.  He’s being strangled backstage by The Undertaker.  Big Show runs towards the back to try and save Vickie’s nephew-in-law.  The video on the titan tron cuts out.  Tazz sets his headset down and says he’s going to go find out what’s going on from Vickie.  The gong tolls again, and this time when the lights come back on, Vickie is all alone with The Undertaker.  He stalks her around the ring and traps her in the corner.  His eyes roll back into his skull, and he grabs the SmackDown GM by the throat.  She screams for mercy, but The Undertaker picks her up and plants her to the mat with a Tombstone.  The last sight we’ll ever see of SmackDown’s tenure on the CW is The Undertaker standing over a fallen Vickie Guerrero.

My Thoughts:

It was a pretty decent show.  Congrats to Carlito and Primo on their tag title win, and thanks to the CW Network for providing us with the priviledge to watch WWE SmackDown since the network’s inception, and even further back to the days on UPN.  I’m extremely excited that SmackDown is coming to MyNetwork TV, mainly because I’ll finally have an HD channel that carries WWE programming.  I’ve got nothing really left to say tonight, so I’ll see you guys Tuesday morning for RAW coverage.

The post SmackDown in Real-Time, 9/26/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Michelle McCool def. Maryse to retain the WWE Divas Championship.

Festus vs. Ryan Braddock ended in a no contest when Jesse and Festus wrapped Braddock in duct tape and bubble wrap and wheeled him out of the arena.

R-Truth def. Shelton Benjamin.

Jeff Hardy def. The Brian Kendrick.  After the match, Vladimir Kozlov lays Hardy out at the top of the ramp.

Carlito’s Cabana with special guest Primo.  They challenge Hawkins and Ryder to a tag title match, which is accepted for next week.

The Great Khali destroyed Scotty Goldman.

Triple H def. MVP.

Full details after the jump!

The show starts with a recap of Jeff Hardy winning the fatal four way to face Triple H at No Mercy, and the subsequent beatdown of said Hardy by Vladimir Kozlov.

The video plays and the pyro goes off, as JR welcomes us to Nashville, TN!  Tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on The Brian Kendrick, and Triple H faces off against MVP.  That’s later on though.  Right now we got deevers..

Michelle McCool def. Maryse to retain the WWE Diva’s Championship

JR points out that this is the first time that the WWE Diva’s Championship has been defended on SmackDown.  Which means that Michelle isn’t exactly a fighting champion, now is she?  Anyways, both women take turns applying submission holds, and 30 seconds in it’s a better match than Candice Michelle has had since she’s come back from her injury.  Maryse pulls Michelle down by the hair as JR laments that he’s never been called “the sexiest of the sexy” like Maryse has, but his grandmother thought he was cute when he was in third grade.  Maryse gets dropkicked in the face and rolls out of the ring as Michelle mocks her.  Maryse trips Michelle up, then boots her in the side of the head.  She gets back in the ring and hits a swinging dropkick, but only gets a one count.  Maryse spends a lot of time taunting the Diva’s Champion, then starts wailing away on her.  She gets carried away and winds up in a sunset flip for two.  Maryse takes Michelle down again and locks in a Camel Clutch.  Michelle manages to fight her way up, but Maryse takes her down again.  Maryse starts wailing away again on Michelle, but McCool makes a comeback, taking Maryse down with a clothesline and a dropkick, followed by a running neckbreaker, which nets her a two count.  Michelle hits a double underhook X-Factor style facebuster, and picks up the victory.

There was an ad right before this show came on saying that my cable company might be losing CBS and CW as of October 2nd.  I don’t care, because the only show on CW that I watch is moving the same day!  I’ll miss the Price is Right, but that’s replaceable with Rock Band 2 or sleep or something.  I say this because they remind us that on October 2nd, there will be a special airing of WrestleMania 24 on MyNetwork TV, followed by SmackDown’s season premiere on October 3rd.

Vickie is backstage with the Big Show, when Eve comes in and asks her if she thinks the Undertaker is here and if he’s going to seek redemption tonight?  Vickie passes on that question.  Eve then asks about competing, since she’s been working hard.  Show tells her to sit down so he can show her why her first question was irrelevant.  We then get a video package of Show destroying ‘Taker at Unforgiven.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to a promotion for the Red Cross in this time of need for the victims of Hurricane Ike.  You can make a donation by calling 1-800-REDCROSS

There’s a band playing next door at a bar in Nashville.  Even Tazz is smiling because they’re having such a great time in Nashville.

BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

Jesse and Festus are out in their MyMoving Co. outfits, and we get a recap of them moving Kenny Dykstra to some undisclosed location.

Festus vs. Ryan Braddock

The bell rings, and Festus starts the beatdown.  He goes for a splash in the corner and Braddock moves out of the way, causing Festus to crash and burn.  Braddock takes control, hitting a nice looking dropkick among other moves, but when he rams the back of Festus’ head into the turnbuckle, it has no effect other than to wake up the corn-fed Colossus.  Festus takes control for a moment, but Braddock takes it back, locking Festus in a chinlock.  Festus picks him up and drops him to escape, then hits a big boot.  He hits a modified version of the old Avalanche move that Earthquake used to do then plants Braddock face first into the canvas.  Jesse sends in the duct tape, and the referee calls for the bell.

Jesse starts to wrap Braddock up in duct tape, as JR ponders that they may be helping the WWE move to MyNetwork TV.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

When we come back, Braddock is taped to the dolly and wrapped in bubble wrap as Jesse puts a piece of duct tape over his mouth while Festus wheels him out.

Carlito’s Cabana returns tonight!

Backstage, Big Show asks Vickie what she’s going to do if The Undertaker does show up tonight?  She says she’s going to make him get on his knees and apologize.  Show says he’s going to humble him (not the Iron Sheik way, I hope) and beat him down like he did at Unforgiven.  Then he presses play on the VCR again and we see the same footage of him beating down the Undertaker as we did earlier.

Shelton Benjamin reminds us that he’s the gold standard, and unlike his opponent, he makes good decisions.  His opponent made a bad decision and ended up in prison for 13 months.

R-Truth def. Shelton Benjamin

Truth does his rapping thing again.  GET ROWDY! WHAT’S UP!  Benjamin is not amused.  Now that I think about it, wasn’t Shelton in jail briefly?  Anywho, this match starts off slowly.  Benjamin backs Truth into the corner, then turns around and walks away.  When he goes back after Truth, he attacks aggressively.  Truth won’t let Shelton keep the offense for long, he hits a corkscrew flying forearm, taking Benjamin down.  His advantage doesn’t last long either, as Benjamin fights back.  It’s actually a pretty decent match thusfar, going back and forth.  Shelton ducks a clothesline and reverses it into a T-Bone suplex, which JR mentions was invented by Tazz.  Benjamin hits Truth with a backbreaker, turning it into a submission hold.  JR says that if you were to design a superstar on Friday Night SmackDown, Shelton Benjamin would be a good prototype.  Of course, if you want Shelton in SVR08, you have to design him yourself.  Luckily he’ll be in SVR09.  Anyways, Shelton keeps working over Truth’s back, locking him in a unique chinlock/stretch combo as Truth makes some silly faces.  Truth fights out of it and starts pounding away on the United States Champion, but Benjamin connects with a knee to the midsection and then makes Truth make silly faces again.  Truth once again fights out of the submission hold, but gets caught in a sleeper hold, but Truth drops down and turns it into a jawbreaker.  He misses the axe kick, but blocks Benjamin’s next move, rolling him up for a three count!

Hurricane Helms is back with a news flash – apparently the price of gold just went down.   How Punny, Shane.  And welcome back!

Next, it’s Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Slam of the Week:  Jeff Hardy wins the number one contendership on last week’s SmackDown.  Then he gets beat up by Vladimir Kozlov.

Jeff Hardy makes his way out for action tonight against The Brian Kendrick.  He takes the microphone, and he says that he’s been in the WWE off and on for about 10 years.  The journey hasn’t been a smooth one.  He’s a risk taker.  Wreckless.  Crazy.  Extreme.  He is your charismatic enigma!  Normally he’s not bothered by negative feelings towards him, but last week, Triple H said that he always misses that brass ring when he gets close to it.  That bothered him.  First he was angry, but he realized that Triple H was trying to motivate him, trying to make him better.  Congrats, Trips.  You have motivated Jeff, fired him up, and made him better.  He’s not going to be reaching for the brass ring at No Mercy, he’s going to be reaching for your WWE Championship.  On to Vladimir Kozlov.  He’s always craving competition, but then he jumped Jeff from behind instead of facing him like a man.  If he’s craving so much competition…

Jeff is cut off by his opponent for the evening.  The Brian Kendrick says that Jeff is forgetting about somebody.  Tonight he’s gotta worry about The Brian Kendrick.  Jeff says it’s The Brian Kendrick that he beat in The fatal four way to become “The” number one contender?  Spanky says that was a chaotic environment.  Tonight is one on one, unless of course, Jeff has some extracurricular activities to do.  Funny enough, this show was taped just before Jeff supposedly got trashed and denied boarding on his flight.

Jeff Hardy def. The Brian Kendrick

Jeff is aggressive tonight.  He has the advantage until Kendrick backdrops him and then clotheslines him out of the ring and into…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kendrick has Hardy in a single-leg Boston crab when we come back, but Hardy manages to get to the ropes.  Kendrick starts stomping away on the number one contender, hitting a ground dropkick for a two count.  He then goes back to the single leg crab.  BTW, since the graphic just reminded me, WrestleMania tickets now go on sale on November 8th, so make the necessary changes to your calendar.  Hardy gets to the ropes, then takes Kendrick down and hits his pendulum dropkick in the corner.  He hits the suplex-into-facebuster combo and gets a two count.  He goes to climb the ropes, but Kendrick clutches on to his leg to prevent him from doing so.  He then boots Hardy in the face, taking him down.  He goes to Irish whip Jeff into the buckle.  Jeff was going to go for a Whisper in the Wind, but was distracted by Big Zeke.  Kendrick tried to take advantage and hit The Kendrick, but Hardy reversed it into a backslide for the three count!

As Hardy is making his way to the back, he’s greeted by the big boot of Vladimir Kozlov, who for the second week in a row leaves SmackDown’s number one contender lying unconscious.

Backstage, Big Show barges into Vickie’s office and tells her that The Undertaker is here.  When the door opens, Show is waiting.  We get a first person view.  Vickie tells the mystery camera person to get on his knees and apologize.  The voice sounds like The Undertaker’s when it says “Vickie, I’m sorry.”  She tells him it’s not good enough and that he needs to kiss her feet.  The “Undertaker” obliges, and the camera pans back to reveal that it wasn’t really The Undertaker, it was Chavo Guerrero dressed up like The Undertaker.  He says it’s his Halloween costume.  Big Show plays the video from Unforgiven again.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  – I wonder if they’re going to show that Playboy Divas Lumberjack match that was so boring that even the lighting rig fell asleep when they show WrestleMania on MyNetwork TV on October 2nd?

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana.  Apparently Carlito couldn’t hear himself at first.  After a quick mic check, he welcomes us to Carlito’s Cabana.  His guest tonight is his baby brother Primo.  How did it feel for Primo to score his first victory on SmackDown?  Well, he was surprised because it was so easy.  If all the competition is like that, it’s only a matter of time before the two Colon’s become tag champions.  That’s cool.  Carlito tells him not to steal his lines.  Primo argues that he’s co-hosting.  Carlito tells him that he’s the special guest.  The WWE Tag Team Champions come to the ring, and we get another pop-up Hurricane.  He says the Champions names are Curt and Zack… but maybe they should be called Curtain Jerkers.  Primo asks Carlito who these guys are, then the Puerto Rican siblings laugh at them when they explain that they’re the tag team champions.  Carlito says they should put the titles on the line right now.  Hawkins and Ryder disagree.  They said people know who they are, they were in La Familia.  Primo says he didn’t know they spoke Spanish.  The basic idea here is that Primo and Carlito have convinced Hawkins and Ryder to give them a title shot next week.  Carlito then asks for somebody to come and help move the Cabana set out of the ring.  Jesse and Festus come down with their moving gear.  Hawkins and Ryder attack the Colons from behind, but Jesse and Festus make the save.  Primo rings the bell, and Festus chases the champions out of the ring with a palm tree.  Seriously.  Primo and Carlito start throwing apples out to the audience.

Later on tonight, it’s Triple H taking on MVP

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Backstage, Maria is designing an outfit when Brie Bella comes by and asks her about her outfit designs, and if maybe Maria can make one for her.  She might need an extra one, exactly the same.  Victoria and Natalia come in and tell Brie that they know her secret – she’s having an affair with Hornswoggle.  They said that next week Brie can take on Natalya and Victoria, and she can bring Maria with her too.

Scotty Goldman is in the ring, and he gets one of those Picture in Picture promos.  He babbles incoherently before holding up a paper bag puppet version of Ranjin Singh, to translate that Khali doesn’t want to have to face somebody as talented and good looking as Scotty Goldman.  He then babbles more and bites the paper bag puppet.  Seriously.

The Great Khali def. Scotty Goldman

This one was pretty much over before I could stop laughing at Goldman’s promo.  Khali just beat the crap out of him for a couple of minutes before dropping him with the Tree Slam for the victory.

Next week, it’s going to be The Great Khali taking on Vladimir Kozlov.  I guess he’s got his competition now.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

RAW Rebound:  Chris Jericho wins a cage match against CM Punk, but finds out a couple hours later that he’ll be facing HBK in a ladder match at No Mercy.

La Familia are hanging out in Vickie’s dressing room, minus Vickie.  Chavo dismisses them, and hits play to watch Big Show’s assault on The Undertaker from Unforgiven.  Again.  The video gets all weird on Chavo’s TV and he sees The Undertaker’s face on the screen.  The bell tolls, the TV Undertaker’s eyes roll back into his skull, and Chavo turns around into the first person grasp of The Undertaker, who chokes him out.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

It’s time to play the game!  The WWE Champion makes his way to the ring.  He’s in action tonight against The King of Bling, MVP.  Both men get their full entrances, which is always a good way to kill 10 minutes when it comes to Triple H and MVP.

Triple H def. MVP

The bell rings and we’re finally underway here in our main event of the evening.  MVP backs Triple H into the corner, then steps back and taunts him.  He then locks The Game in a headlock.  H battles out but gets taken down again.  MVP gets Irish whipped into the ropes, Triple H goes for a hiptoss, but it’s blocked and reversed.  They try for the same spot again, but Triple H blocked the counter and clotheslined MVP before giving him a crotch chop.  He takes MVP down with a right hand, and MVP begs off.  The Game grabs him by the nose, and then punches him right in the schnozz.  He then hits a drop toehold and MVP falls flat on his face.  The Game locks on a headlock to send us to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back, and MVP is working over the left arm of H-Cubed.  The Game starts to fight back though, using his right arm to strike MVP.  MVP goes right back to work on the arm though.  Triple H battles back to his feet while in a high key lock, but MVP drops him again with a knee and locks in a hammerlock.  It goes on like this for a few minutes.  MVP sets Trips up in the corner and goes to run in with one of those driveby kicks, but Triple H was playing possum and drops MVP with a high knee, turning the tide.  The Game starts to make a big comeback, taking MVP down with a facebuster and a wicked clothesline for two, then a spinebuster.  MVP rolls to the outside and H-Cubed goes out after him.  MVP slams his head into the announce table, rolls Triple H back into the ring, then climbs the ropes, but he gets caught with a kick to the midsection on his way down, then Triple H hits the Pedigree for the victory.

As Triple H stands victorious, Vladimir Kozlov’s music hits.  Triple H motions for him to bring it.  Kozlov comes to the ring and enters slowly.  The Game seems ready for him.  MVP distracts HHH from behind, and Kozlov attacks.  The two men brawl for a moment, but Kozlov backs Triple H into the corner and rams him a couple of times with his shoulders.  Hunter hits the facebuster, but when he bounces off the ropes, Kozlov drops him with a headbutt to the sternum.  For the second straight week, SmackDown ends with Vladimir Kozlov standing tall.

My Thoughts:

I absolutely loved the “Pop-Up Hurricane” segments.  I absolutely hate the fact that the news is on after this show.  I’ll spare you the details of the news story, because this is a wrestling site.  Anyways, I really enjoyed tonight’s show, but the only thought I really want to express here is that I get the feeling that Kozlov/Khali next week is going to end in a no contest thanks to interference from Jeff Hardy and Triple H.  In fact, I wouldn’t doubt that it’ll turn into a tag team match featuring Kozlov and Khali taking on Hardy and H.  I guess we’ll see next week.  I’m out guys, I’ll see you Tuesday morning for RAW!

The post SmackDown in Real Time, 9/19/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

You know how it works by now, quick results up here and detailed results after the jump.  BTW, I’m sorry this is starting late, somebody called me at 8PM.  Who the hell calls a wrestling fan on Friday night at 8PM?

Anyways, here goes:

Triple H says that Jeff Hardy will never win the big one.

Brie Bella, Maria & Michelle def Victoria, Natalya & Maryse

R-Truth def. Chavo Guerrero via DQ

Jesse & Festus wrapped Kenny Dykstra in duct tape and wheeled him out of the arena on a dolly.

Big Show says he beat up The Undertaker for not following the rules.  Seriously, that’s what he said.

Vladimir Kozlov def. Funaki & Scotty Goldman

Carlito & Primo Colon def. Hawkins & Ryder

Jeff Hardy def. The Brian Kendrick, MVP, & Shelton Benjamin

Detailed results after the jump!

The show kicks off with an Unforgiven highlight package.

JR and Tazz welcome us to Milwaukee, WI and announce the fatal four way later on tonight, and that we’ll find out why The Big Show attacked the Undertaker.

But first…

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H makes his way to the ring with his big shiny belt that he defied the odds to keep.  He says if you didn’t see Unforgiven, you need to, because the Championship Scramble matches are worth buying the DVD – partly because Hunter gets residuals, but mostly because it’s awesome.  He exaggerates the number of pinfalls, says Punk got punked out by Orton leaving Jericho to sneak in and win, Matt Hardy finally won the big one, a giant cheated death, and Rey Mysterio came out with the craziest mohawk you’d ever see, but only one man walked out with his title in tow.  Psh, 80% chance of losing?  Not for the Game.  You see his name on the card, bet on it.  The Championship Scramble was difficult, but Trips found a way to win, with just one tiny little second left…

The man who was one second away from winning the match, Jeff Hardy interrupts The Game.  He says congratulations to Triple H and calls him the man.  He admits that Hunter won fair and square.  Jeff did everything he could but Trips is still champ.  He’s awesome.  Everybody looks up to him and respects him, including Jeff Hardy, who incites a round of applause for Hunter.  Jeff says Hunter is like a god.  H Cubed appreciates the heartfelt praise, he sarcastically says he respects Jeff too.  He admires his passion for the business, and his desire, and the fact he puts his body on the line more than any other superstar in history.  Trips respects the fact that Jeff is an individual.  More importantly than everything else, he respects the fact that Jeff comes out night after night and reaches out trying to grab that brass ring, but he’s always just one second away.  Jeff hangs his head for a second, and Hunter asks if it’s the story of his life.  Jeff says that maybe Hunter’s right.  He may be one step away.  Or maybe he never had the right people to push him along.  Maybe he never had the Cliq.  Maybe he never had DX.  Maybe he didn’t have the family.  Ouch.  If Jeff did, he might just have what Hunter has.  Hunter says that maybe it’s true, although his brother Matt beat him to a World Championship.  Jeff was never better than Matt, Jeff just had him around to keep him focused.  Since Jeff’s been away, he hasn’t been able to keep his extracurricular activities from preventing him to get what he wants the most.  Trips doesn’t want to get into an argument.  It doesn’t do either of them any good.  The fact is that Triple H does respect Jeff and everything he’s done in the business.  Jeff’s got another shot at the brass ring tonight in a Fatal Four Way match.  Triple H hopes Jeff wins and proves him wrong.  No matter what happens tonight, when he gets to No Mercy, he’ll prove him right.

Brie Bella, Maria & Michelle def. Victoria, Natalya & Maryse

Michelle and Natalya kick things off in this one.  It’s what you’d expect between them to kick it off.  Michelle brings Natalya to her corner and tags Maria.  Maria holds her own and tags in Brie Bella, who holds her own for a bit until she goes for a second monkey flip and gets caught with a huge power move by Natalya.  Maryse gets tagged in and keeps control over Brie.  Maryse tags in Victoria, who misses a splash as soon as she gets in the ring.  Brie rolls out of the ring and heads under the ring.  Victoria drags her back out and tosses her back into the ring, but Brie rolls her up and gets the pinfall for her team!

Still to come, why did the Big Show attack The Undertaker at Unforgiven?

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to R-Truth rapping his theme song as he comes through the crowd.  GET ROWDY… er.. I mean… WHAT’S UP!  Interestingly enough, I got a DVD with the TNA iMPACT video game that has R-Truth on there performing as K-Krush in the early days of TNA.

R-Truth def. Chavo Guerrero

Truth gets the crowd chanting “WHAT’S UP” as the bell rings to star this one.  Truth locks in an armbar to start, and the match starts to pick up when Chavo kicks his way out of it.  Truth takes Chavo down with a hip toss and locks in another armbar, then drops Chavo with a spinning kick.  Chavo responded with a rolling kick of his own.  Truth takes Chavo down with a couple of clotheslines and a back elbow.  He hits a powerslam and does a dance move before nearly kicking Chavo’s head off for a two count.  Truth misses the Booker T style axe kick, and Chavo hits the Three Amigos to a chorus of Boos.  Chavo climbs the ropes but takes too much time, as Truth climbs the ropes and goes for a superplex, but Bam Neely shoves him off, earning a DQ for Chavo, who says he had Truth where he wanted him.

Chavo shoves Bam and tells him he’s not getting paid today.  Bam shoves Chavo to the canvas and tells him not to put his hands on him.  Truth catches Bam with a kick to the midsection and an Axe Kick.  Chavo attacks Truth, but Truth fights him off.

Shelton Benjamin tells Eve that nobody can beat the Gold Standard as Triple H walks up.  He wonders if he’s got a shot with Eve, and Trips tells Shelton that he’s the only one who didn’t get pinned on Sunday, so he thinks that Shelton shouldn’t even have to go through this Fatal Four Way tonight.  Trips tells him that Jeff Hardy says that he’s going to win the match.  Shelton tells Hunter that he doesn’t have to worry about Jeff Hardy.  Shelton doesn’t reach for brass rings; he’s reaching for Hunter’s gold title.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

Jesse and Festus are dressed as movers and heading down to the ring with a dolly and a moving company box.  Promo for SmackDown’s move to MyTV, perhaps?  Well, it says “MyMoving Co.” on the back of their shirts.  Kenny Dykstra says he could be an all star in any sport right now, and he’s got more potential than anybody else in this company.  Yet he still doesn’t get the respect he deserves, dress like a garbage man?  He’s going to take the garbage out right now.  He decks Festus, then shoves Jesse out of the ring.  The match hasn’t officially started yet, so the bell hadn’t rung.  Jesse goes out and rings it for us, though I don’t think that makes the match official.  Festus explodes on Dykstra and hits a flapjack, then he and Jesse wrap Kenny in duct tape.  They put him on the dolly, and we head to commercial break.  Good news, I’ve finally caught up to real-time!  When we come back, Festus and Jesse have Dykstra wrapped in bubble wrap and put a piece of duct tape over his mouth to shut him up as they wheel him up the ramp and to the backstage area.

JR’s been informed that Vickie Guerrero & The Big Show will be out here shortly as we get a recap of what happened to The Undertaker at Unforgiven

Vickie comes to the ring, and she’s got so much heat I can barely hear her over the crowd.  Undertaker threatened her before Unforgiven, threatening to send her to hell.  As everybody witnessed, that didn’t happen at Unforgiven.  He couldn’t take her soul – heck, he couldn’t even take her job.  She’s still the GM of SmackDown.  Taker threatened her, and she literally spit in his face.  She didn’t do it alone though.  Please welcome the guy who beat the crap out of The Undertaker, The Big Show!  Show says that after The Undertaker destroyed Edge and Vickie’s family abandoned her, she came to him for help.  Show didn’t want to do it at first.  Then he realized that The Undertaker is supposed to abide by the rules of SmackDown.  Show showed him that if he had to follow the rules, so did Show.  He showed The Undertaker who the boss is on SmackDown.  It’s a good deal for Show, because Vickie can help him get to the WWE Championship.  First, he’s got to get her an apology from The Undertaker.  Show says that if Taker’s not sorry now, he’ll make sure that he will be.

Still to come, a Fatal Four Way for the number one contendership

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vladimir Kozlov def. Scotty Goldman & Funaki

JR ponders that Funaki and Goldman sounds like a law firm, as Kozlov beats the holy hell out of both of them.  He drops an airborn Funaki with a headbutt and pins him.  It pretty much lasted as long as it took you to read this recap of the match.

Kozlov takes the mic and says he wants SmackDown to give him a better challenge.  If nobody gives him one, he’ll find one himself.

Ezekiel Jackson is reading the 300 Greatest whatever magazine that the WWE recently put out as Triple H pops in behind him.  The Brian Kendrick asks what Hunter’s doing there.  Hunter came to wish him luck.  Kendrick says he shouldn’t have to wrestle tonight to win the number one contendership.  After all, he was the longest reigning champion in any of the scramble matches at Unforgiven.  Hunter knows.  He was rooting for Kendrick to get the next shot the whole time.  Out of all the losers there were at Unforgiven, Hunter thinks that Spanky was the biggest.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The WWE Tag Team Champions, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder are in non title action.  They’re taking on the Colons, Primo and Carlito.  They get a Superstars-esque promo, which basically says that Carlito & Primo on SmackDown is cool.

Carlito & Primo def. Hawkins & Ryder

Carlito has new wrestling gear; he’s rocking those Rey Mysterio style tights now.  He kicks things off with Ryder, and with quick tags between himself and his brother, the Colons take over this match, until Carlito allows himself to be distracted by Hawkins.  Ryder takes Carlito down with a kick and tags Hawkins in.  Hawkins slows the pace down, locking Carlito in a chinlock.  The champions take over the match, utilizing quick tags and the five count to their advantage.  Carlito tries to fight back but misses a dropkick.  Ryder tags Hawkins, then takes Carlito over in a backslide, allowing Hawkins to come in and stomp on the afro’d man from the Carribean.  Carlito finally causes some separation, rolling out of the way of a Hawkins splash in the corner and tagging in his brother Primo.  Primo unloads on the WWE Tag Team Champions, and he gets a two count off of a splash from the top rope before Ryder broke it up.  Carlito gets the tag in, and hits the backstabber on Hawkins to pick up the victory.

MVP runs into Triple H backstage.  Triple H is surprised to learn that MVP is in the fatal four way match.  He says that the other night, MVP didn’t do so well.  MVP says he’s in there because he’s the man that’s going to take the WWE Title at No Mercy.  Hunter says he hope MVP doesn’t choke like he did on Sunday night.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand:  November 24, 1983.  NWA Starcade – Ric Flair wins the NWA World Championship in a steel cage.

Apparently Flair didn’t leave on bad terms, because they’re promoting the hell out of Forever Flair on WWE 24/7.

Jeff Hardy def. MVP, Shelton Benjamin, & The Brian Kendrick in a Fatal Four Way Match

The Brian Kendrick exits the ring at the start, leaving the other three to battle each other.  Hardy holds his own against MVP and Shelton Benjamin, but they wind up working together to take down the Charismatic Enigma, but they stop to wrestle each other when they realize that they were both going for the pin.  Benjamin drops MVP with a right hand as The Brian Kendrick sneaks in and tries to pin Jeff Hardy behind his back, to no avail.  He sneaks in again as MVP and Jeff Hardy are battling to attempt to hit The Kendrick on Shelton Benjamin, only to be stopped by MVP.  Jeff catches Benjamin with a Whisper in the Wind on Benjamin, who kicks out at two before we go to a commercial break.  When we come back, MVP has Shelton Benjamin in a rear chinlock.  During the break, Benjamin dropped Hardy over the top rope and to the floor, and Jeff hit his leg on the steel steps on the way down.  The Brian Kendrick is lurking on the outside waiting for an opportunity to strike.  Benjamin takes down MVP but allows himself to get distracted by Ezekiel as Kendrick dropkicks him from behind.  Kendrick hits another dropkick on Benjamin and gets a two count before locking in a Camel Clutch while Ezekiel tosses Jeff Hardy into the guardrail on the outside.  Benjamin picks Kendrick up and backs him into a corner to break the Camel Clutch, but Kendrick won’t let go, he locks in a sleeper.  Benjamin finally breaks away from him by dropping him flat on his back.  MVP sneaks in and dropkicks Benjamin in the head as Kendrick rolls out of the ring again.  Benjamin and MVP go at it tooth and nail, each determined to win and become the number one contender to Triple H’s WWE Championship.  Jeff Hardy manages to get back in the ring, but MVP tosses him right back out, over the top rope and to the floor.  If this were a battle royal, Jeff would’ve lost like 5 times already.  MVP and Benjamin continue to battle in the ring as Kendrick kicks Hardy while he’s down.  He sneaks back in the ring and tries to steal a pinfall.  He tries to escape again, but MVP catches him, though Kendrick manages to escape anyway.  Jeff comes back in as MVP gets tossed out, and once again gets thrown over the top rope and to the floor.  As MVP and Benjamin battle in the ring, Hardy tosses The Brian Kendrick into the guardrail.  He comes back in the ring and unloads on Shelton Benjamin, hitting his swinging dropkick move for a two count.  He heads up the turnbuckle, but MVP pulls Benjamin out of the way of the Swanton.  MVP and Kendrick appear to work together but MVP lets Hardy go and clotheslines Kendrick out of his boots.  Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind on MVP, and gets a two count before Benjamin breaks it up.  He tosses Jeff through the ropes to the outside.  MVP goes for the driveby kick but Benjamin moved out of the way and hit Paydirt on MVP.  Kendrick came in and hit The Kendrick on Benjamin, but Hardy got back in the ring, took out Ezekiel for good measure, and hit a Swanton on Kendrick and Benjamin, pinning The Brian Kendrick for the victory!

After the match, Vladimir Kozlov’s music hits and he marches down to the ring.  He walks right up to Jeff Hardy and tries for a clothesline, which Jeff ducks, but it didn’t matter much, because Kozlov caught Jeff with a headbutt as he bounced off the ropes.  He hits a big boot and starts to pummel Hardy in the corner.  He finishes his assault up with an inverted DDT, leaving the number one contender lying in a heap on the canvas as we end the show.

My Thoughts:

That main event completely exceeded my expectations.  It was a great match with a clean finish, which is something I haven’t seen in a long long time.  It was a very entertaining show tonight, with Triple H instigating and trying to light a fire under all of his potential challengers.  Vladimir Kozlov attacking at the end of the show was great and unexpected, though it was foreshadowed earlier in the day.  I’m interested to see where it goes because it’s leaving me with the feeling of Jeff Hardy losing the number one contender spot to Vladimir Kozlov, though I have nothing really to base that on.  That’s it for me tonight, I’ll catch you guys on Sunday with TNA No Surrender predictions.

The post SmackDown in sort-of Real Time, 9/12/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

First of all, congratulations to Matt Hardy – it may be the ECW Championship, but you’ve finally won the big one.  Unfortunately, your brother was just one second away from upstaging you and winning the World Heavyweight Championship, but instead of lunging over to break up Triple H’s pin attempt, he ran over into his own pin attempt on Shelton Benjamin.

Speaking of which, Jeff Hardy bugged the hell out of me last night (and later on in the night, so did Kane).  Jeff was the current WWE Champion at one point, and a couple of times while he was the current champion, he went for a pinfall.  Tell me, what good would it have done for Jeff Hardy, while being the current champion in the match, to pin somebody?  He’s already achieved the only thing you get when you pin somebody, so what is the point of pinning somebody else since a pin doesn’t really benefit you.  Kane, as current World Heavyweight Champion, made a pin attempt on Batista in RAW’s Scramble Match.  It makes no sense to me.

Speaking of the RAW match, it really bothers me that CM Punk, the reigning World Heavyweight Champion, was written out of the match.  If they really wanted Jericho to win, they could have had Kane attack Mysterio backstage, have Jericho replace Mysterio and have Orton come out to the ring to cost Punk the World Championship.  I think it’s complete BS that Punk wasn’t even in the match that he lost the title in.

The beating HBK gave Jericho last night was not as bad as they’re going to make it out to be, though Jericho did come out of the match in pretty rough shape.  You could see how badly he was beaten up as he made his way to the ring for the Championship Scramble.  That match had a pretty good finish, with Jericho stealing the victory without getting in a single move throughout the time he was in the match.

What I’m going to take away from Unforgiven is the fact that The Brian Kendrick is eventually going to win the WWE Championship if he stays clean and doesn’t do anything stupid.  That said, the same statement will apply to Jeff Hardy, albeit much sooner than it will apply to Kendrick.

The Big Show heel turn was piss poor.  Normally the guy arguing with whoever the Undertaker is feuding with will leave before the druids come out.  Show stood there and laughed at Vickie.  Sure, he pretended to be mad at her, but you could tell that he was turning heel the moment the camera got a shot of Show and Guerrero in the ring together.

You guys all know that I’m normally against name changes – especially when the guy has his old name on his tights – but I think it’s a good thing they changed Afa Jr.’s name to Manu.  WWE doesn’t like to use “Junior” at the end of names (Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and most recently and most baffling, Ted DiBiase).  People remember Afa, so calling this kid Afa isn’t going to make a lot of sense (again, see DiBiase, Ted).  Calling him Manu and telling everybody that he’s Afa’s son is a good move.

I’m really glad that I probably won’t ever have to see that Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels video package again.  Hopefully, Shawn’s promo at Unforgiven stating that for Jericho, the worst is still yet to come doesn’t mean that he’s going to find himself in the World Title hunt.

That’s it for me, I’ll see you guys in the morning with a RAW review!

The post Unforgiven thoughts… appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Triple H promo erupts into a brawl featuring all five WWE Championship Scramble competitors and Ezekiel Jackson.  Triple H and Jeff Hardy stand tall.

R-Truth def. Bam Neely via pinfall.

Undertaker says he’ll send Vickie to hell to reunite with Edge.

Shelton Benjamin def. MVP via pinfall.

Maryse insults Maria backstage.

Maryse def. Maria via pinfall.

The Brian Kendrick def. Jeff Hardy via pinfall.

Super Crazy def. Ryan Braddock via pinfall.

Big Show challenges Vladimir Kozlov to a match, but it’s ordered to not happen by Vickie Guerrero.

Vickie demands that The Undertaker apologize to her at Unforgiven.

Brie Bella def. Victoria via pinfall.

Triple H def. The Great Khali via pinfall in a Lumberjack Match.

After the match, Jeff Hardy drops Triple H with a Twist of Fate and stands tall over the Champion as the show goes off the air.

Detailed results after the jump!

JR and Tazz welcome us to St. Louis, MO and mentions a lumberjack match between The Great Khali and Triple H tonight, where the lumberjacks will be the WWE Championship Scramble participants.

Speaking of the game, he’s on his way to the ring, but since he’s coming to the ring to “King of Kings,” I think it’s safe to assume he’s here to talk, not wrestle.  He says that he’ll defend the title in the first ever Championship Scramble match, which he says sounds like something you order at 3AM at Denny’s.  It’s going to be a tough challenge because he’s only got a 20% chance of retaining the WWE Championship on Sunday.  He’s interrupted by Shelton Benjamin, who tells the champion that it’s not about him, it’s a crap shoot for everybody involved.  You need a little luck and a lot of talent to win, and when it comes to that, he’s the gold standard.  As such, he’s planning on adding a little more gold to his collection.  Since Hunter probably doubts him, Benjamin reminds The Game who dropped Jeff Hardy, MVP, and Triple H himself last week.  Hunter tells him it’s really cool, but he left out the part where he beat Shelton last week.  It makes Benjamin an excellent cheap shot artist.  Since he’s so good at dropping people, why doesn’t he come try and drop The Game face to face.  Benjamin starts to walk toward the ring, but MVP calls for a time out.  Neither Shelton nor Triple H are leaving Unforgiven with the WWE Title, because the King of Blings is better than The King of Kings, The Charasmatic Enigma, The Brian Kendrick, and The Gold Standard.  Benjamin says him dropping MVP with Pay Dirt was payback from getting hit with the driveby kick a couple weeks back.  Triple H cools things down before it erupts between the two of them.  Hunter says it works like this – Hunter talks about defending the title, it’s called a promo. At that point, while he’s cutting his promo, those guys interrupt him and talk a bunch of trash they can’t back up.  Hunter then takes the mic and proceeds to insult them and maybe their families or something until they get upset and try to beat him up, but The Game sends them packing.  It’s a simple formula.  It’s not ringing a bell for Benjamin or MVP.  Hunter says he’ll “be champion for like the next century.”  The Brian Kendrick tries to attack Triple H from behind but is taken out quickly.  As Hunter is staring down Ezekiel Jackson, Kendrick attacks from behind, leaving the game prey for MVP, Benjamin, Jackson, and Kendrick until Jeff Hardy makes the save, hitting a Twist of Fate on Benjamin, going up for a Swanton, but getting pulled down by Ezekiel Jackson.  Jackson goes after Hardy, but Triple H hits him in the back with a chair, which only serves to anger The Brian Kendrick’s associate.  Kendrick pulls ‘Zeke away before this thing explodes, and it’s Jeff Hardy and Triple H left standing.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The following contest is scheduled for one fall…

K-Kwik R-Truth is rapping in the crowd on his way to the ring.  GET ROWDY! WHAT’S UP!

Ooooooooh, Chavo!  Wait, what?  Bam Neely’s wrestling?  Then shouldn’t it say “Oooooooh, Bam!?”

R-Truth def. Bam Neely

Truth starts off on the offense, but Bam takes him down with a wicked clothesline and yells “WHAT’S UP?,”  which is apparently R-Truth’s theme song – and also written on the back of Truth’s pants.  Bam’s offense doesn’t last long, as Truth battles back with some unique offense.  He hits a dropkick from the top followed by Booker T’s Scizzor Kick, and picks up the victory.  GET ROWDY!  Um, I mean, WHAT’S UP!?!

Vickie Guerrero is probably not in the building tonight, which is good, because The Undertaker is in the building.

Still to come, Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick for the first time ever, and MVP takes on Shelton Benjamin, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Well, apparently that match wasn’t next, as the graphic stated, because The Undertaker is in the ring.  He says the anticipation of death is far worse than the death itself.  He says he’ll let Vickie decide, because at Unforgiven, he’s coming for her soul.  So until Sunday, he wants to leave her with a few things to think about.  Those things are his hand squeezing her throat until the strength leaves her body; her cold, lifeless body being confined to a Mahogany prison that is her coffin; and that as she lies there gasping for air, he waill set that coffin ablaze.  That, is when her lungs will begin to fill with the acrid stench of her own burning flesh.  That earthly inferno will send her to hell where she can rejoin her husband, Edge.  He promises, Vickie, in her agony, an eternity in hell.  The lights go out, and when they come back on, ‘Taker’s gone.

One, two, you hear the clock tickin’…

MVP makes his way out to the ring, kinda looking over his shoulder for The Undertaker.  It’s so bad that even his own pyro freaks him out momentarily.

Shelton says gold is both precious and pure, and there is no athlete more pure, and no talent so precious than he is.

AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!

Shelton Benjamin also looks a little paranoid on his way to the ring for the match after the freaky disappearance of The Undertaker.

Shelton Benjamin def. MVP

The paranoia goes away when the bell rings, and these two men begin the incredible match you’d expect out of them.  Both men aggressively attack one another, but when Benjamin gets the better of an exchange, MVP tries to leave.  Benjamin comes out after him, and gets taken down by the crafty MVP.  MVP starts to work over Benjamin back in the ring with a variety of submission holds, but the Gold Standard won’t give up.  He battles out and hits a backbreaker on MVP. There’s a sign in the third row that says “I’m sitting here because I’m rich.”  Bullcrap – I’ll be somewhere around there at Armageddon in December, hopefully.  Anyways, in the time it took me to type that last sentence, Benjamin dropped MVP for the second straight week with Pay Dirt.

Backstage, Maria gets her makeup done, and Maryse bumps into her and tells her watch where she’s going.  She says that Maria’s outfits are made of cheap material, and the stitching isn’t that great.  She says she’ll go easier on her in the ring so she doesn’t have a wardrobe malfunction.  She says her clothes are from Paris, and she’d give Maria one of her outfits, but she thinks she’s a little too big for the pants and a little too small for the top.

Still to come, Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick, and Triple H vs. The Great Khali in a lumberjack match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Thanks to Motorhead for their song “Rock Out,” the official theme song of WWE Unforgiven.

Maryse def. Maria

It’s confirmed that at Unforgiven, Maryse will be challenging Michelle for the WWE Diva’s Championship.  Maria takes down Maryse earlier and starts aggressively attacking her.  Maryse gets out of the ring, and as Maria comes after her, she hits a clothesline.  Maria won’t let that stop her though, she attacks Maryse as she gets in the ring.  Maryse doesn’t let Maria’s offense last long though, taking her down and hits a variety of stylish and impactful moves, including a rolling Camel Clutch.  Maryse shows her aggressive side for a moment, but Maria fights back, taking Maryse down with a headscizzors and a clothesline.  Maryse ducks a cross body from the top, and plants Maria with a DDT for the victory.

Michelle is at the top of the ramp to meet her Unforgiven opponent on her way back to the locker room, but Maryse, after stopping to face off with the Diva’s Champion, just walks away.

Jeff Hardy takes on The Brian Kendrick, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Later tonight, it’s Triple H vs. The Great Khali in a lumberjack match.

Speaking of those lumberjacks…

The Brian Kendrick def. Jeff Hardy

Kendrick confers with Ezekiel after the bell rings, and Jeff Hardy takes off on the early offense.  He goes for the inverted enzeguri, but Kendrick manages to avoid it, then hits an AJ Stylesesque Pele kick on Hardy for two.  Kendrick locks in a modified Camel Clutch for a moment, then decides on other methods of offense, including a great dropkick before trying the Camel Clutch again.  Kendrick maintains his offense until he misses a splash in the corner and gets hit with Jeff’s turnbuckle swinging dropkick dealie.  Hardy goes for a jawjacker, but Kendrick reverses it into a facebuster, but Hardy hits him after that with a clothesline, before using his rare size advantage to hit some high impact moves on The Brian Kendrick.  Kendrick avoids a Twist of Fate, going to the outside, but Hardy comes right out after him.  He rolls Kendrick back into the ring, but as the referee is distracted with Kendrick, ‘Zeke rams Hardy’s back into the guardrail and tosses him in to The Brian Kendrick, who hits The Kendrick for the victory.

Vickie Guerrero is in the building, and tells the wheelchair guy to go the hell away, because she don’t need it!  The tells the parking attendant to get the cars out of there, as she walks into the arena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Super Crazy def. Ryan Braddock

Since this is pretty much a throwaway match, I’m going to try and win that SmackDown phone trivia thing while reviewing it.  Braddock starts off on offense, and it pretty much goes back and forth.  Crazy knocks Braddock down and hits a moonsault for the victory.

Vladimir Kozlov comes to the ring and dismisses Super Crazy with a punch to the face because he’s “not competition.”  Kozlov says no more games, he demands a better challenge.

WELLLLLLLLLLL, IT’S THE BIG SHOW!

Show smiles his happy ass to the ring and confronts Kozlov, saying that the lack of competition for Kozlov is probably “just an oversight,” given the management on this show.  Show says it’s ok, he’s feeling competitive too, so let’s go at it right now!  Kozlov puts his mic down, as does The Big Show, and they prepare to fight.

Then a voice rings out over the PA… it’s that of Vickie Guerrero.  She tells Kozlov to get out of her ring.  Kozlov still wants to fight Big Show, but Vickie gets in Kozlov’s face and screams at him to get out, to which he reluctantly obliges.  She tells The Big Show that he’s interfered with her show for the last time.  Not one more distraction or she’ll show him the true meaning of unfair.  She’s got business to take care of in the ring, so Show needs to get out and go home.  She suggests he follows her advice or she’ll fine him, and suspend him indefinitely – and she guarantees that it’s not an oversite.  Show storms off angrily.  Vickie says that she has an announcement for The Undertaker.  She re-instated him, she poured her heart out to him and apologized for her sins, yet he responds by threatening her life.  She’s the GM of this show.  She won’t be intimidated, she won’t be scared, and she’ll no longer live her life in fear of him.  Go ahead and send her to hell, where she’ll join Edge.  That doesn’t bother her, she’s been places that make hell look like a vacation.  She’ll no longer be a victim of his psychopathic blood lust and his perverse fantasies at revenge.  At Unforgiven, she’ll get what she wants.  An apology from The Undertaker.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Victoria ain’t the lady to mess with.  She got beaten by Brie Bella last week and lost – so this week she’s going to get a rematch and the chance to prove her theme song right.

Brie Bella def. Victoria

Victoria starts off with a headlock on Brie, wearing the newcomer down early.  Brie won’t quit though, she reverses it and applies a wicked looking surfboard style move.  Brie knocks Victoria out of the ring, and Brie goes out after her, hitting a clothesline off the apron.  Victoria picks her up and rams her back into the ring apron.  She locks in an overhead backbreaker, but Brie escapes.  Victoria tosses her out of the ring, and Brie crawls underneath, leaving JR to ponder if Hornswoggle’s under there.  Suddenly, Brie appears outside of the ring on the other side, refreshed enough to catch Victoria charging in, then picking up the victory with a rollup for her second straight win over Victoria.

Mickie James, Mr. Kennedy (Kennedy), and Josh Matthews are at the Republican National Convention.  Rather than putting over the Republican party, they put over the SmackDown your Vote program and urge viewers to vote.

Triple H takes on The Great Khali in a lumberjack match, later on tonight!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

RAW REBOUND:  Do I even have to tell you what it is at this point?  Of course it’s a recap of HBK and Chris Jericho’s feud leading into their unsanctioned match at SummerSlam.  Unfortunately, the litter box is already clean this time around.

JR and Tazz run down the Unforgiven card.

Eve asks Triple H about his greatest concern.  He says it’s global warming, or maybe the economy.  Otherwise, it’s just another day at the office.  He needs to overcome obstacles until the next obstacle comes along and stares you right in the face.  He turns around to see Jeff Hardy staring in his face.  Hunter asks Eve if it’s possible for anybody to finish a thought on this show.  Jeff says he didn’t mean to interrupt Hunter’s “promo,” but Hunter’s biggest problem at Unforgiven is Jeff Hardy.  Triple H says Jeff knows all about trouble.  He’s got two strikes.  The old saying goes, three strikes, and you’re out of the game.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Rewind:  The Great Khali distracts Triple H long enough to allow him to be attacked from behind by Shelton Benjamin before attacking the WWE Champion himself.

Triple H def. The Great Khali in a Lumberjack Match.

Triple H takes his time getting to the ring, ensuring that this match will start with only 12 minutes left in the show.  Khali starts off tossing the WWE Champion into the corner, but Triple H fights his way back out.  Khali keeps on the offense though, and he literally kicks Triple H out of the ring, where the lumberjacks all gang up on him before tossing him back in to the Punjabi Giant as we go to a commercial break.  Khali has The Game in a nerve hold when we come back.  He begins to methodically pick apart Triple H, but The Game moves out of the way of a Khali punch.  Doesn’t matter, he catches a boot to the face, and gets clotheslined over the top rope and out to the lumberjacks, who start to beat him down until Jeff Hardy rescued him again – only to get tossed headfirst into the guardrail by MVP and Shelton Benjamin while Ezekiel Jackson continues to work over The Game before tossing him back in to Khali, who continues to work him over.  Khali makes the mistake of putting his head down and gets caught with the Triple H facebuster.  Trips takes Khali down with a middle rope shoulderblock, but his pin attempt is broken up by the lumberjacks.  As they start to beat him up on the outside, Jeff Hardy dives onto all of them.  Kendrick tries to whip The Game into the steel steps, but it’s reversed, and Triple H snaps Khali over the top rope.  He gets back in and takes over on offense, but when he goes for the Pedigree, he gets backdropped instead.  Khali locks in the vice grip, bringing Hunter down to his knees.  The Game tries to fight back, and manages to pry apart the hands of Khali.  He ducks away from the clutches of the big man, then nails a pedigree for the victory!

Jeff Hardy enters the ring and applauds the champion.  He follows that up with a Twist of Fate, and the last SmackDown before Unforgiven ends with Jeff Hardy standing tall over the WWE Champion!

My thoughts:

Things went by pretty quickly tonight, but the show was so packed with action that it didn’t really matter.  For Jeff Hardy to be the one standing tall at the end of the night after a loss to The Brian Kendrick speaks volumes.  I’m starting to think that Jeff could win this thing.  I’m looking forward to a potential match between The Big Show and Vladimir Kozlov, and I can’t wait to see what will happen between Vickie Guerrero and The Undertaker this Sunday at Armageddon.  I’ll be here Sunday with my predictions, so I’ll see you guys then!

The post SmackDown in Real-Time: 9/5/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Kowalski, who is a legend in the sport and has trained major names such as Chyna, Kaz, and of course, WWE Champion Triple H, passed away this morning after suffering a heart attack back on August 8th.  Kowalski refused to go quietly, as his vital signs remained strong even after he was taken off of life support twelve days ago.

Kowalski was an inductee of the WWE Hall of Fame (Class of 1996), the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame (class of 2003), and the National Polish-American Sports Hall of Fame (Class of 2007).

BoredWrestlingFan.com would like to offer our condolences to the Kowalski family and friends.

The post Killer Kowalski passes away at age 81 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Undertaker tells Vickie Guerrero she’ll burn in hell.

K-Kwik R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra via pinfall.

Maryse & Natalya def. Maria & Michelle via pinfall.

Jeff Hardy def. MVP via pinfall.  After the match, both men were hit with Pay Dirt by Shelton Benjamin.

Hawkins & Ryder vs. Jesse & Festus went to a no contest when The Big Show beat up both teams.

Brie Bella def. Victoria via pinfall.

Triple H def. Shelton Benjamin via pinfall.

The Undertaker makes his way to the ring to kick off the broadcast.  He says that Vickie Guerrero will be Unforgiven for all of her sins, since he’s not the forgiving kind.  He’ll be coming for her and her soul, and once he takes it, she’ll burn in hell.  He does his down on one knee pose (grunting in pain, apparently as he knelt) as flames burst out of the ring posts.  La Familia abandons Vickie in her office, and she can’t escape as the door somehow managed to lock itself shut.  The Undertaker heads towards the back…

Later tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on MVP in a SummerSlam rematch, and US Champion Shelton Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H in a non-title match.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get an R-Truth promo… wasn’t he supposed to debut this week?

R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra

That answers that question.  Let’s get ROWDY!  But first – Kenny’s bitching about the company not caring about him.  He says Truth is nothing but a convict.  Kenny didn’t get any promos, he can barely get on SmackDown.  WWE needs to focus on building around Kenny Dykstra, not people like R-Truth.  Now that is the truth (Dykstra’s words, not mine).  Anyways, I’m sure you can guess that this is the part where Kenny is going to do the J-O-B to the new guy.  Not that Dykstra isn’t holding his own.  R-Truth makes some funny faces when he’s on the defensive.  Luckily he doesn’t stay on the defensive very long.  He steals Booker T’s scizzors kick and picks up the victory over Kenny.

Maryse interrupts a Michelle McCool photo shoot, and tells her that the WWE Diva’s Championship will look better around her waist than Michelle’s.  Michelle says it won’t happen, because Maryse doesn’t have talent.  Maryse says Michelle doesn’t have her looks, and soon, she won’t have her title either.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Rewind:  Natalya destroys Maria last week off of a distraction by Maryse, who beats the crap out of Maria, who gets saved by Michelle McCool.

Maryse & Natalya def. Michelle McCool & Maria

Michelle and Natalya kick things off, and it’s a back and forth affair.  Michelle gets the tag to Maria, who manages to hold her own against the much stronger Natalya.  Maryse gets tagged in, and things are pretty even until Natalya kicks Maria in the back as she’s running off the ropes, distracting her long enough for  Maryse to nail a DDT to pickup the victory.

After the match, Maryse and Michelle have themselves a good ol’ fashioned catfight before Natalya comes in to assist Maryse, who decks McCool with a right hand.

Later tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on MVP.  We get a video package of their rivalry.

Backstage, Eve is with Jeff Hardy.  He says that MVP is just another obstacle in his way to become WWE Champion, and come Unforgiven, there’s nothing MVP can do to stop him.  Tonight, it’s going to be MVP looking up at the lights.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to a rundown of the ridiculously inane Championship Scramble rules.

Still to come, Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin.

Vickie Guerrero is still trapped by herself in her office, and apparently her phone is dead.

Jeff Hardy def. MVP

For the second straight week, MVP gets his full entrance.  The match starts off as a shoving match, but Hardy quickly locks in a headlock, and MVP can’t seem to break out of it.  When he finally does, Hardy takes him down with a couple shoulder blocks, and Jeff completely dominates the opening part of this matchup, frustrating MVP, who rolls out of the ring for a breather.  Back inside, he finds himself back in a headlock.  Jeff maintains control of this one – he’s not overly dominating, but he’s keeping MVP out of his game nonetheless.  Hardy starts to focus on the left arm of MVP, wrenching it, ramming it into the ringpost, jumping on it.  MVP heads back outside to regroup, but gets caught with a high risk move from the apron, which sends us to a commercial break.  We’re back in the ring when we come back, and MVP is still getting his arm destroyed by Jeff Hardy.  He manages to create some separation by pulling Hardy face-first into the turnbuckle.  MVP wastes no time taking advantage, using kicks to send Hardy to the outside, then dropping him across the guardrail.  He gets Hardy back in the ring, and continues his offense, even getting a couple of two counts before locking in a submission.  In a rare showing of strength from the younger Hardy, he picks MVP up and slams him to the canvas to break the hold.  Jeff connects with his dropkick to the corner thing, followed by his sitout suplex.  He goes for the Swanton, but MVP gets his knees up.  MVP starts working over Hardy again, once again getting a two count off of some aggressive offense.  He continues to use high impact moves, and takes some time to taunt Hardy before locking in a Camel Clutch.  Jeff manages to get to the ropes, but MVP stays on the offense.  MVP starts getting frustrated by not being able to put Hardy away, which allows Hardy to start fighting back – though it didn’t last long, as MVP took Hardy over with his own momentum.  Jeff does start to battle back, but gets chop blocked off the turnbuckle on a Whisper in the Wind attempt, which sends him crashing head first into the match in a scary looking spot.  MVP got a two count, then tried for a back superplex, which Jeff managed to erverse into a cross body of sorts, getting two.  MVP goes for the driveby kick, but Hardy catches him with a clothesline.  Hardy finally nails the Whisper in the Wind, follwed by the Swanton Bomb, and finally gets the three.  What a match!

After the match, Shelton Benjamin comes down and drops Hardy with Pay Dirt.  As MVP is standing around congratulating him, Benjamin drops him with Pay Dirt as well.  After a great match between Jeff Hardy and MVP, it’s The Gold Standard, The US Champion Shelton Benjamin standing tall.  Will that be the case later on tonight when Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H?  Stay tuned!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Pittsburgh Steelers are in the front row.  Meanwhile, Candice & Josh Matthews are still at the DNC, even though it’s over.

BISCUITS AND GRAVY!

Jesse & Festus vs. Hawkins & Ryder in a non-title match went to a no-contest.

JR helpfully reminds me that Kurt Hawkins is the one in the short tights as they get tossed from the ring by Festus.  Didn’t matter though, The Big Show came down and decimated three of the four men.  Festus just kinda stood outside after the bell rang.

Show says “Hi!”  He says there’s some confusion, since Vickie Guerrero has been under a lot of pressure and overlooking certain superstars.  Show says he’ll never be overlooked again.  As far as what just happened, “my bad.  Oops!  Let’s just call it… an oversight.”  Show smiles and slaps hands with the fans on his way back to the locker room.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie is still trapped in her office when we come back.  She’s kinda just standing there looking around.  Seriously.  That’s it.

Brie Bella def. Victoria

Brie Bella is one half of FCW’s Bella Twins.  Tazz makes sure to note that she’s very HD friendly.  This is a slow paced matchup to start, but it goes back and forth, with Bella getting the the better of more of the exchanges.  Victoria gets a two count off of a backbreaker, and then starts to go after the back of the newcomer.  She hits a standing moonsault for about a 1 1/2 count.  Victoria kicks Bella out of the ring, and Bella tries to hide under the ring.  Victoria drags her out, and rolls her back into the ring, but when she tries for a pin, Brie rolls her up for the victory!

RAW Rebound:  John Cena’s injured, Rey Mysterio is taking his place at Unforgiven.

Still to come:  US Champion Shelton Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Brian Kendrick says that last week he won the biggest match of his career so far.  This week, The Brian Kendrick isn’t going to wrestle – he’s going to let his Unforgiven opponents beat the holy hell out of each other.  He’s studying “The Art of War.”  He says it’s about the war, not the battles – There’s a fine line between genius and insanity, and if you can walk that line, you’ve got the advantage.  Or something like that.

JR and Tazz tell us that they doubled NASCAR’s audience last week.  Boy, I bet that was hard.  They then run down the Unforgiven card so far.

In the words of JT, “it’s Game time, bitches!”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Slam of the Week:  Jeff Hardy beats The Great Khali thanks to a distraction and chairshot by Triple H.

Shelton Benjamin says he’s the most precious commodity in the WWE.  After all of that, he finally makes his way to the ring for this match.  Then we get a replay of him taking out MVP and Jeff Hardy earlier.

WWE Champion Triple H def. US Champion Shelton Benjamin via pinfall

An eternity after Triple H made his way to the ring, this match starts.  It starts off slowly.  It’s a back and forth battle, believe it or not, and as the pace starts to pick up, it starts to favor The Gold Standard.  The Game doesn’t back down, however.  He starts to mount a comeback.  The pace slows down and Triple H takes over.  The pace picks back up, and Benjamin takes over.  Yes, it’s that entertaining.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree at one point, but Benjamin escapes, sending us into a commercial break.  When we come back, Triple H is down on the outside, and Benjamin is aggressively attacking the WWE Champion.  Utilizing submission holds, Benjamin stays on the offense.  Finally, Triple H breaks out of one of Benjamin’s holds, and as Benjamin rushed in on Triple H in the corner, he caught a boot to the face.  Didn’t take long for Benjamin to come back, though, hitting a Stinger Splash in the corner, but he misses on a second attempt, giving The Game a second to recover.  Both men get up at the same time, and Triple H comes to life, taking Benjamin down with a high knee and a powerslam for two.  Benjamin goes for the dragon whip kick, but Triple H ducks, hitting a DDT for a damned close two count.  Triple H ducks a Benjamin clothesline, and Benjamin kicks him in the face.  The Game manages to survive though, hitting a spinebuster before going for a Pedigree, which Benjamin again escapes, turning it into a wicked backbreaker for a two count.  Benjamin whips Triple H into the ropes, and gets hit with a facebuster for his troubles.  That’s when The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh make their way down the aisle.  Benjamin tries to take advantage and hit Pay Dirt, but The Game Cereberally Assasinates that idea, reversing into a Pedigree for the win.

After the match, as Triple H is staring down the approaching Khali, Shelton Benjamin takes out the WWE Champion with the United States Championship Belt.  He celebrates in the ring and leaves Triple H lying as easy prey for The Great Khali.  Khali gets in the ring, and Tree Slams Triple H.

Backstage, Vickie is still trapped in her office, and is still standing around terrified.  The lights go out and she screams in terror as we go off the air.

My thoughts:

R-Truth?  Meh.  Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin?  Their matches a few years back were much better.  By far the best match on the show was MVP vs. Jeff Hardy.  It was an alright show, but by the end I was looking at the clock every couple of minutes.  If anybody knows anything about Brie Bella, and her twin sister down in FCW, they’ll see where that whole angle is going.

You guys know that James Curtis guy that was wrestling on ECW for a while?  There’s a guy named James Curtis who got arrested in my hometown of Niagara Falls for posting a sign on a water fountain that said “Whites Only.”  Classy.

Anyways, it was an okay show, nothing special.  We’ll see how things go next week.  If The Brian Kendrick wrestles on next week’s show, it’ll completely defeat the purpose of his promo this week.  Let’s see where it goes from here.

The post SmackDown in Real-Time, 8/29/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

Vickie Guerrero announces that SmackDown will also have a Championship Scramble match at Unforgiven.

Maria def. Natalya via disqualification when Maryse interfered

Big Show finds out he’s been overlooked as far as the Championship Scramble is concerned

The Brian Kendrick wins a 10 man battle royal to qualify for the Championship Scramble – thanks to The Big Show.

MVP def. Festus via countout to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

Shelton Benjamin def. Finlay to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

Jeff Hardy def. The Great Khali to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

Detailed results after the jump.

SmackDown kicks off with a recap of the SmackDown side of SummerSlam

Vickie Guerrero is here via video package, letting us know that we haven’t been seeing the real Vickie – Edge was the real problem, the person who corrupted her as a person.  No more of that crap though, we’re going to get the old Vickie back, because Edge is residing in hell.  She’s ready to feel good about herself again.  She wants everybody to give The Undertaker a standing ovation when he gets here tonight.  Anywho, SmackDown has themselves a Championship Scramble, just like RAW.  We know Triple H is in it, who else is?  We’ll find out tonight, as there will be qualifying matches.  Oh yes, there will be qualifying matches.

JR and Tazz welcome us to a show that’s been on for five minutes.

Maria makes her way to the ring.  She’s in action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Later on, Jeff Hardy takes on The Great Khali in a Championship Scramble Qualifying Match.  Festus takes on MVP in another one of those.

Maria def. Natalya

Maria’s ready to go, and holds her own early on in the match.  Actually, that’s an understatement, she takes control of this one, but Natalya finally catches her with a single leg takedown, which messes up Maria’s leg, and The Anvil’s daughter takes full advantage of it.  Maria shows her toughness and battles back, hitting a bronco buster on Natalya before spearing her off the apron.  As Maria goes out after her, Maryse makes her way out, distracting Maria.  Natalya attacks Maria while she’s distracted, followed by a kick by Maryse that draws the DQ.

After the match, Maryse continues to attack Maria, when Michelle McCool makes the save.

Backstage, Chavo, Bam, and Vickie run into The Big Show backstage, he wants to know who his opponent is in his qualifying match.  Vickie forgot to book him.  It was an oversight.  Show says he understands, it’s ok.  He walks away, and up next, a 10 Man qualifying battle royal!

Wait a second… Here comes the Big Show!  Show grabs a chair and takes a seat at ringside for the upcoming battle royal.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Brian Kendrick won a Battle Royal to qualify for the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven

Armando Estrada,  Scotty Goldman, Ryan Braddick, Funaki, Vladimir Kozlov, Jimmy Wang Yang, Hawkins and Ryder, Super Crazy, and The Brian Kendrick are your participants in this one.  It’s hard to call a battle royal, as I’ve said before, so I’ll just be updating you on eliminations.  Vladimir Kozlov goes first, eliminated by five or six guys.  Scotty Goldman is dumped out next by the WWE Tag Team Champions.  Big Show jumps into the ring and eliminates Ryan Braddick, then Hawkins, Ryder, and Super Crazy at the same time!  He then dumps out Armando Estrada, followed by Funaki.  He tries to dump out The Brian Kendrick, but Ezekiel saves him from elimination.  Jimmy Wang Yang wasn’t lucky enough to have a bodyguard to catch him.  The Big Show leaves as his music plays, but it’s The Brian Kendrick who has qualified for the Championship Scramble!

Later on tonight, The Undertaker returns to SmackDown!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK> – There was an ad for SmackDown trivia if you call this toll free number.  I called, and one of the answer choices was “The Edge.”  Sorry dude, the guy from U2 wasn’t on SmackDown last week.  Of course, he meant Edge, not The Edge, unless Edge is starting a stable with The Brian Kendrick that I don’t know about…  Anyways…

Back from break we get a replay of The Brian Kendrick winning the Battle Royal before the break.  And then we get our last cheesy R-Truth video, as he’s making his debut next week on Friday Night SmackDown.  Get rowdy!

MVP def. Festus via countout to qualify for the Championship Scramble

MVP actually got his full entrance for this one.  Haven’t seen that in a while.  After his SummerSlam match, he told Eve that Jeff Hardy beat himself at SummerSlam, and the WWE Championship is next on MVP’s agenda.  I really don’t expect Festus to win here, it’ll be interesting to see how MVP pulls off the victory though.  He starts off using his quickness to his advantage, but after getting warned by the referee to let Festus out of the corner, MVP catches a shot to the jaw, and Festus takes over.  MVP manages to make a comeback, and starts working over the arm of the Corn-Fed Colossus.  Festus manages to hit a couple headbutts on MVP, but MVP goes right back after the arm.  Festus takes back the upper hand in the match, and hits almost an Earthquake-style move.  MVP goes after the arm again, but Festus hits him with a big boot.  MVP rolls out to get a breather, and Festus comes out after him.  When the referee’s count gets to nine, MVP runs towards Jesse and hits the Driveby kick.  Festus stopped to check on Jesse as MVP rolled back into the ring in time to beat the 10 count.  MVP wins by countout to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

After the match, MVP boots the now sedate Festus out of the ring.

Up next, Shelton Benjamin battles Finlay in a qualifying match for the Championship Scramble.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand: The same one that aired on RAW.

Shelton Benjamin says that he’s obsessed with championships and winning.  He’s obsessed with gold.  Turn on any news channel, they’re talking about Michael Phelps, and they’re calling him “the new gold standard.”  Sorry Mike, Shelton Benjamin is the only Gold Standard.

Shelton Benjamin def. Finlay to qualify for the Championship Scramble

This match starts off pretty evenly.  Benjamin has really improved in recent weeks.  I’m impressed, let’s hope the WWE brass is impressed as well.  This match quickly degenerates into a brawl.  The two competitors spill to the outside and stare each other down face to face.  They keep their eyes on each other as they slide into the ring.  Back inside, they go back to wrestling each other, and again they stay evenly matched – they even have submission holds on each other at the same time, momentarily.  Finlay gets the better of that exchange, again, momentarily, as Benjamin starts to battle out of Finlay’s leg hold.  Doesn’t do him much good, he winds up in a harder to counter hold, but luckily he was close enough to the ropes.  Finlay charges in at Benjamin in the corner, but Benjamin moves, causing Finlay to bash his own shoulder into the ringpost.  Shelton shows his aggressive side again, going to work on the newly injured shoulder of the fighting Irishman.  It gets to the point where the referee is asking if Finlay wants to continue.  When he says no, Benjamin tries to convince him otherwise, but then makes the mistake of trying a baseball slide on Finlay, who catches him in the ring apron and pounds away on him.  Back inside, Shelton tries for a superplex, but gets shoved off the ropes.  Using his quickness, however, Benjamin knocks Finlay off the ropes and to the floor, with such impact that it sends us into a commercial break.  When we come back, Benjamin has Finlay in a chinlock.  Finlay fights out of it by kicking Benjamin in the head.  Benjamin wins the kicking match though, and shows that aggressive side once again.  Finlay catches him with a jawjacker, but only gets two on a pin attempt.  Benjamin continues to maintain the advantage in the match, though Finlay shows his tougness while fighting back.  Benjamin hits a dragon whip kick for two.  He goes for Paydirt, but Finlay blocks it and battles back.  He goes for the Celtic Cross, but Mike Knox comes out and grabs Hornswoggle, distracting Finlay long enough for Shelton Benjamin to hit Paydirt and qualify for the Championship Scramble!

After the match, Mike Knox decimates Finlay

The Undertaker returns, later on tonight!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Recap of Rebecca Michaels getting punched in the face by Chris Jericho.

Chavo says it would be pretty cool if Vickie put him in a qualifying match.  You know what, why hasn’t the Undertaker shown up yet?  Maybe he’s the kind of guy that would hold a grudge.  Chavo knows Vickie didn’t make those decisions against him, but does The Undertaker?  Vickie should apologize.  Not now though, because now…

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Triple H makes his way to the ring to join Tazz and JR on commentary.

Jeff Hardy vs. The Great Khali is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Jeff Hardy def. The Great Khali to qualify for the Championship Scramble

Jeff starts off using his quickness to confuse the Punjabi Giant.  Doesn’t work too well, because he ran into a Khali clothesline.  Khali pretty much dominates, but Hardy will not back down.  Triple H took out an interfering Ranjin Singh, then nails Khali with a chair behind the referee’s back.  Hardy nails a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb for the win!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H is in the ring when we come back, and runs down the list of his opponents for the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven.  Then he tells us the rules, and tells us the odds are against him.  Don’t go celebrating yet, boys, because the fifth guy in there is a twelve-time World Champion.  He’s been in every match the WWE has to offer, and has come out on top.  The fifth guy is known as The Game, the King of Kings, and there is only one.  He’s interrupted by Kenny Dykstra.  Dykstra complains that he’s not even considered for the Championship Scramble.  Triple H feels so bad that he gives him a Pedigree so he doesn’t lose sleep over it.  What a nice guy.  He says “Good to see ya, Kenny” before he leaves.

Hawkins comes in and lets the GM know that “he’s here.”  Vickie is going to the ring to apologize, and she’s taking her family with her.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie Guerrero says she’s a great woman who is not afraid to apologize for her actions.  A great woman who eventually always does the right thing.  She’s here to apologize to The Undertaker.  She wants everybody to please join her in a standing ovation for The Undertaker.  Does that include me?  I kinda like to sit down when I’m typing.  The Undertaker’s music hits and he makes his way out through fire and smoke and heads towards the ring, where La Familia are waiting for him.  Taker means business – when he gets in the ring, he takes off his coat and hat.  Vickie tells him that she delivered Edge to him inside Hell in the Cell, and gave him the means to exact his revenge.  All she wants is an opportunity to earn forgiveness.  If he needs more time, they can talk about it next week.  She asks if he’ll accept her apology.  She’s really, really, really sorry! Pretty please, Undertaker?  She even gets up out of her wheelchair and gets on her knees to ask for forgiveness.  How bad do you want that apology, Vickie?  This show’s rated PG now, you know.  Taker tells her to look at him.  He didn’t come here for an apology.  He came for her soul.  La Familia surround The Undertaker, and he takes out all four of them easily, until Bam gets back in the ring and takes Taker down with a shoulderblock and the family pounce.  Chavo grabs a chair as the other three guys hold Taker back – but Taker boots Chavo in the head, then once again, easily takes out all four men.  When he turns around to look for Vickie, she’s already up the ramp.  He does the throat slitting motion, and we fade to black.

My Thoughts:

It was a pretty good edition of SmackDown, and it was interesting to see how some of the matches were won.  I’m excited for The Brian Kendrick, who will be getting his first WWE Championship shot, only a month after re-debuting on the blue brand.

What I do hate, however, is that the news is on our CW affiliate after SmackDown.  After a good episode of WWE’s Friday Night show, I don’t want to hear about two 17 year old twin brothers crashing their car into a tree and dying or somebody getting shot.  Oh well, less than two months before moving day to MyNetwork TV (which also has a news program at 10PM here, but it’s in HD!).  See you guys Monday!

The post SmackDown in real-time, 8/22/08 appeared first on BoredWrestlingFan.com.

The results and analysis, after the jump!

RAW starts with a recap of John Cena and Batista’s recent history.

John Cena makes his way out to the ring.  He says that two weeks ago, Mike Adamle made a match between himself and Batista at SummerSlam.  John’s never had a personal problem with Batista, but out of thin air, he has a match – and then last week, they won the Tag Team Championship!  It’s Adamle’s way of spicing things up.  Adamle is all about spicing things up.  He called Cena over today, and asked what they could do to hype the match up more.  Cena explained to him that he doesn’t know what he’s done.  He’s put John Cena and Dave Batista in a match for the first time ever!  We don’t need to hype the match anymore than it is.  John Cena and The Animal in this very ring is all the hype you need – RIGHT NOW!

Batista makes his way to the ring.  Later on tonight, these guys are in tag action together, defendint their newly won titles against the former champions, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.  Batista tells Cena, “you wanted me?  Here I am.”  Yep, Cena wanted him out there – he tells us that they’re the World Tag Team Champions, and they’ll be getting their rematch.  If they don’t work together, they’ll taste defeat – but at SummerSlam, they’ll be enemies.  Everybody knows it’s a match that’s 6 years in the making.  Cena’s been watching Batista for 6 years.  Batista was groomed by Ric Flair and Triple H, and was put into a position where he was taught everything the business would throw at him.  Cena didn’t have that opportunity, but every week he turned critics into believers.  Every Monday he stands before a nation that goes to battle with him.  Now it’s time to answer the question – between Cena and Batista, who’s better?  Batista’s seen Cena get standing ovations, and he’s seen him get booed out of the building, but Cena never changed who he was and Batista respects that – even though he wouldn’t be caught dead doing some of the things Cena does.  He can see why most of the people over the age of 15 want to see Batista senseless.  Batista likes to beat people senseless.  This Sunday, we’ll get the answer to that question of “who’s better.”  According to Batista, the answer is Batista.  The Tag Champions have a standoff in the middle of the ring before Cena extends his hand.  Batista accepts the handshake, and Cena leaves.

WWE Mobile Poll:  Who is the Bigger Star?  John Cena or Batista.

Still to come:  Cena & Batista defend against Rhodes and DiBiase.

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Apparently WWE has won a pair of awards for excellence in Television Productions.  The first award was for WrestleMania 24 (I was there, you’re welcome, Mr. McMahon!), and the second award was for the WWE Tribute To The Troops.

Time for scrawny bitch theater on USA – Kelly Kelly’s got herself a match tonight.

Beth Phoenix def. Kelly Kelly

Santino joined Michael Cole and The King on commentary.  Beth backs Kelly into the corner, but showing she’s not intimidated, Kelly slaps Beth.  She actually manages to hold her own against The Glamazon.  Beth doesn’t let that last very long, however, and she womanhandles Kelly Squared.  She picks up the victory after her facebuster finisher.

Santino gets in the ring and asks Beth to do him a favor and send a message to Mickie James and Kofi Kingston by doing that move Santino likes.  Beth is happy to oblige, but Kelly is saved by Kofi and Mickie.  Santino challenges Kofi to a match RIGHT NOW!  Santino wasn’t talking to him though, he was talking to Mickie James.  If he’s got to wrestle a woman this Sunday, he needs practice, so he can figure out where and where not to put his hands.  Besides, it’s Mickie’s hometown, and her parents are here.  Kofi says no, if Santino’s going to have a match, it’s going to be against him – Mickie snatches the mic and says she accepts.  Santino says he’s going to put her back in the kitchen, where she belongs.

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Santino Marella def. Mickie James

Back from break, the match is starting.  Santino goes after Mickie but she evades him.  Apparently during the break, Santino berated Mickie’s parents, and they’re frantically working to put it up on WWE.com.  Remember when they used to show what was going on live during the breaks on WWE.com?  Anyways, Mickie holds her own for the most part, and manages to evade Santino’s attacks.  Santino turns his attention to Kofi, which distracts the referee long enough for Beth Phoenix to ram Mickie’s shoulder into the ring post.  Santino rolls Mickie up for the pin.

After the match, Santino jumps into Beth’s arms as they celebrate while heading back up the ramp.  Winner take all inter-gender tag match at SummerSlam for the IC and Women’s Championships!

Adamle says he’d like to take the Regan approach to GM – let the superstars do what they want, and only intervene when necessary.  Kane bursts in, and Adamle tells him that it’s going to be Kane vs. Chris Jericho.  Kane says it’s ok, if that’s all he has planned.  Adamle says that after the match, Kane has to hand over his bag.  Kane says that Adamle doesn’t want to do that.  Adamle says that the last thing we need is little boys and girls going back to school, mimicking Kane, and carrying burlap bags and scaring their fellow students and teachers – we can avoid controversy and Kane can hand over the bag right now.  Kane says that Adamle is making a huge mistake, and storms out of the office.

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WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand:  October 22, 1979 – The Valiant Brothers lose the WWF Tag Team Championship to Tito Santana & Ivan Putski at Madison Square Garden.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase weren’t even born when that happened – but they respect the history.  Putski and Santana acted as a team.  Which John Cena and Batista aren’t.  They despise each other.  That’s why Rhodes and DiBiase are envoking their rematch clause tonight.  Their careers are further along than any Hall of Famer’s were by their age.  Next year, it could easily be Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes at SummerSlam next year – but tonight they’re going to earn everybody’s respect when they win back their titles.

Later tonight, Y2J vs. Kane, and JBL has a challenge for CM Punk, that Punk apparently can’t win.

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Cryme Tyme vs. The Highlanders

The Highlanders are still around after the recent cuts by WWE?  Especially after the one guy got caught on camera at the live TNA iMPACT taping the Thursday before WrestleMania?  They might as well have been fired though – despite a bit of offense by the TNA loving Scots, Cryme Tyme picked up a convincing and quick victory.

Up next, a challenge that CM Punk apparently can’t win!

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Randy Orton was re-injured last night in a motorcycle accident, re-injuring his shoulder.  Because I totally believe everything I read on WWE.com.

The challenge is set up in the ring, and JBL is on his way there.  Punk makes his way out next.  Before JBL beats Punk at this contest, he wants to tell Punk how happy he is that Punk’s pathetic title run…  Punk tells him to shut up.  Punk’s been listening to the same old argument ever since he won the title.  Punk is going to say it one more time – the World Championship is around his waist because he earned it.  So for all you haters, think about this – we’re one week away from the Biggest Blockbuster of the Summer.  The 20th anniversary of a PPV Punk’s seen every installment of.  It’s going to be the crowning achievement of his career by walking in to SummerSlam, defeating JBL, and walking out World Heavyweight Champion.  Punk says he’ll prove that he’s the man.  JBL babbles for a few minutes, then uncovers a bottle of Jack Daniels.  JBL challenges Punk to a drinking contest.  He pours a shot for Punk.  JBL says if Punk will drink that one drink, JBL will concede to Punk that he’s won this contest.   Punk picks it up.  JBL says that he wants Punk to show that morals don’t matter, and that he’ll do anything to win.  So Punk drinks this, and what then?  He’s just like JBL?  JBL doesn’t get it – Punk’s not JBL, he’s CM Punk.  He’s willing to check his body at the door, but he’s not willing to compromise his beliefs, because they’ve gotten him this far, they’ve made him successful.  And he won’t let some bully shoehorn him into his ideal of a championship persona.  Thanks, but no thanks.  JBL says he didn’t know Punk brought his soap box.  He thought Punk’d say that.  Here’s a toast to Punk, and to the end of the footnote that has been called his pathetic World Championship run.  Punk has had a change of heart.  JBL changed his mind.  If anybody’s doing a toast, it’s the champ.  So here’s to you, JBL, sometimes it’s what you don’t do that makes you who you are.  Punk throws the shot glass full of Jack at JBL and leaves the challenger writhing around with alcohol burning his eyes in the middle of the ring.

Up next:  Kane vs. Chris Jericho

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We get a recap of HBK announcing he’ll be at SummerSlam to announce whether or not he’ll be able to continue wrestling or if he’ll retire.

Chris Jericho def. Kane

Lance Cade is back, accompanying Jericho to the ring.  Apparently we’re not supposed to call him Y2J anymore.  Anyways, not Y2J started off on the offense, but that didn’t last very long.  Kane took control early, until Cade distracted Cane, allowing for Jericho to hit a springboard dropkick on the Big Red Machine and taking control of the match.  Kane powered out of a Jericho bulldog, and this back and forth match swings into the favor of Kane.  Kane hits a clothesline from the top, and the ring becomes surrounded by security guards and GM Mike Adamle.  Kane clutches at the burlap bag, and catches a Codebreaker, giving Y2J the win.

Kane is still clutching to the bag after the match.  Adamle says that he knows it’s difficult for Kane, but they need to resolve this, and Adamle is here to help.  He knows what’s inside the bag.  He knows who he’s referring to when he asks “is he alive, or is he dead?”  “He,” is Kane.  Kane has tried to be a normal person, but he can’t do it.  Deep down inside, Kane is struggling.  When Kane made the declaration that “he” is dead, he’s proven that he can excorsize his demons and lead a normal life.  Yes he can.  He can lead that normal life by giving Adamle the bag.  Adamle knows what’s inside, and the people deserve to know as well.  It’s time to stop fooling around.  We need to get to the bottom of it, right now.  Adamle promises that Kane can have a normal life, and if he opens the contents of the bag, his life will be much better for it.  Kane walks up to him, takes his microphone, and he says,  “There is a mask in this bag.  And the man who wore it has been scarred and tortured and damaged beyond all human recognition.  The problem is, it’s not my mask.”  Kane opens the bag…  He pulls out – REY MYSTERIO’S MASK!  Kane confirms as much and gives an evil laugh as he makes his exit.

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Back from break and Jamie Noble is in the ring – and we get a recap of him attacking William Regal last week, which can only mean one thing…

William Regal def. Jamie Noble

Regal starts off on the offense, using quick strikes to work over Noble.  Noble makes some separation and uses some unique offense to his advantage.  Regal turns the tide back in his favor, and picks up a quick win with a knee to the head.

SmackDown Rebound:  Edge sets takes out all of La Familia, and tells Vickie that he’s taking her to hell with him.

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Rundown of the SummerSlam card.

73% of fans who voted say that Cena is a bigger star than Batista.  Speaking of Cena, he’s on his way to the ring for tag team action – and that match is NEXT!

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Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. John Cena & Batista to win the World Tag Team Championship

Rhodes and DiBiase are in the ring when we come back, as Cena and Batista argue over who’s going to start the match.  Batista gets the nod, and before I could type my next thought, he blind tagged himself into the ring, and the former champions take advantage of the situation.  Cena starts to take control, setting up for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle on Rhodes, but instead of telling Rhodes that he can’t see him, he walks straight to his own corner and does the “You can’t see me” motion to Batista before dropping the fist on Rhodes.  Cena shows off to Batista as we go to break.  When we come back, DiBiase has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock.  Cena manages to battle back and gets the tag to Batista, who comes in and takes over.  He catches DiBiase with a spinebuster and gives Cena the thumbs down, but Cena comes in and rescues DiBiase from a Batista Bomb.  DiBiase gets the tag to Rhodes, and the challengers go back on the offense, working over Batista’s knee.  Batista powerslams Rhodes, and then tags Cena in with a slap to the face.  Cena enters the ring, and is shoved into Batista and rolled up by DiBiase, picking up the win – and the Tag Team Championship – for his team.

After the match, Batista and Cena face off in the ring, but catch the attacking Rhodes and DiBiase coming in.  After disposing of the tag champs, Cena heads back up the ramp, but Batista challenges him to come back to the ring.  Cena obliges, and the two are separated by Mike Adamle’s security guards as the crowd chants “Let them go.”  GM Adamle checks on Cody Rhodes before Cena bursts through the security and attacks Batista.  The Security forces and WWE officials can barely tear the two SummerSlam opponents apart, and RAW goes off the air with Batista and Cena brawling despite the best efforts of security.

My thoughts: