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RAW 6.28.10

June 29, 2010 12:21 am 1 Comment

Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week. I had some computer troubles. But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business. For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet. This week, Rob Zombie hosts!! Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon? What about this new GM? Who the hell is he… or she?!

Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.

We start off RAW with no theme music. We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight. Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not. The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...

Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted. He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here. Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship. He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots. No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd. Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again. Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that. He came out here to ask for help. Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight. Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now. They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.

However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email. He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail! Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated. However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”

Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager. He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude. Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy. Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!

The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email. None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means. This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.

Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking. Sorry to disappoint some of you). He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription. He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org. He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it. The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time. You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania. He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate. Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there. In the ring, the cage starts to lower. The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.

Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs

As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out. They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals. He says not to fire them because that’s too easy. He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper. And that’s the Truth.

Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner

Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring. Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.

Vladimir Kozlov Wins!

Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down. He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino. Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal. Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus. Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him. If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.

Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!

Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie! He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host! Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank. He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.

Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme. Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight. He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it. He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it. Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?

Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.

The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match! Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.

Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus

WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after. The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him. Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT. He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two. Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover. Henry kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner. As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one. Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope. Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.

Sheamus wins!

Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus. He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling. Tarver says it goes both ways. They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus. Besides, Nexus can still make an impact. To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him. Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.

Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out. Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.

Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something. Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career. They all say some really graet things about Ricky. When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out. They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.

Reminder! Nexus just attacked the legends! Another reminder! The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends! Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres

Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews. Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah… I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!

Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

Reminder! Last week, Nexus attacked Vince! Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers! Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.

Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!

You think you know me…

Break the walls down!!

AWESOME! I came to play!

It’s a new day! It’s a new generation!!

What’s up?… What’s up?

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

*Airplane noises*

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

DiBiase and Morrison start it off. DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down. He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.

Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring. A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet. Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.

Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two. He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face. Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two. Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face. Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne. Miz tags in Jericho.

Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next. Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in. Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.

Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine. He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock. Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.

Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out. Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out. He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.

During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury. Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase. Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison. Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.

Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times. Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner. Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.

DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in. When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after. DiBiase then tags in Edge.

Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face. He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way. Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head. Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.

Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks. He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two. Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him. Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down. Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker. Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy. Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win

After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind. He also brings in a ladder. Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well. John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring. Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho. Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale. With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it. Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes. Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.

Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it. Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.

Smackdown 6/25/10

June 26, 2010 2:44 am 1 Comment

Smackdown

There was a PPV last week, and Smackdown’s new champion is Rey Mysterio… Kane is still hunting for his brother’s attacker… and that’s more or less what will be addressed tonight. Hmm… let’s see if it was worth watching sinec it’s SUFFERING time! CAPSLOCK!!! (Note: This is being edited live, since I mistakenly hit the publish button while drunk and watching…) (more…)

Smackdown 06/18/10

June 19, 2010 1:23 am Leave a Comment

Smackdown

Alright, let’s get this Smackdown review going… I’ve got to admit, I’m not sure what we have to look forward to tonight, since I’ve forgotten what in tarnation happened last week… I’m sure the highlight videos will air (I’ll fast forward through them) would remind me… oh yeah, Kane is hunting people. So that should be, umm, entertaining? Hold on tight folks, it’s SUFFERING time…
(more…)

Smackdown: 06/11/10

June 12, 2010 2:19 am 1 Comment

Smackdown

Before the show starts, we are “treated” to a clip package of last week, focusing on the death of the dead man and Kane’s search to find the killer. Turns out it was… a broken orbital bone, and he’s on the shelf. They had a battle royale to determine who would replace him in the Fatal Fourway PPV, and low and behold, the guy who put him on the shelf (Rey Mysterio) won. BUT, the big question is whether or the NXT invasion on RAW will cross over to Smackdown, but whatever… let’s suffer through some SmackDown, shall we?

Logo
MAIN PAGE ANIMATED GIF. And seriously, we ALL want to do this.

(more…)

RAW 6/7/10

June 8, 2010 12:42 am 7 Comments

Alright, this is my first time posting this myself, so forgive me if it comes out looking a little weird or anything!!

So, I had to start about a half hour late, due to class and trying to eat. However, my friend, @Niki_Sushi covered me on what happened, though I didn’t miss that much.

Apparently, Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long and RAW General Manager, Bret Hart, have asked the Miami audience to vote on what match should happen later on. I don’t know what the choices were, but the result is Edge vs Randy Orton in match, where Edge will have one hand tied behind his back.

Next, the fans vote between a bodyslam match, a submission match, or an Over the Top Rope match for Big Show and Chris Jericho. They chose a BodySlam match.

Big Show vs Chris Jericho in BodySlam Match

Show hit him in a submission, and then threw him over the top rope anyway.

Big Show wins.

Who will face the Hart Dynasty? The Usos, The DudeBusters, or Hornswoggle and The Great Khali? Vote now!

@TKeep123 For tonight’s #RAW I’m actually going to try and believe that internet voting really counts! :} #WWE #BWF

We come back to RAW to see the Hart Dynasty in the ring. Matt Striker tells us that The Great Khali and Hornswoggle will be facing the Hart Dynasty.

Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Great Khali and Hornswoggle

Not sure what happened, but it was a quick match.

Hart Dynasty wins.

The Usos attack, but Hart Dynasty finally managed to gain the upper hand and kick the Usos out of the ring. As Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are talking, Jerry starts looking around, and then says that they have a problem, and then walks off.

SMACKDOWN REPLAY: Kane found Taker in a vegitative state over Memorial Day weekened. I have no idea what happened here, because I wasn’t here. Either way, just sounds like what was on Smackdown. Up next, the cast of The A-Team arrives!!

@Bruce412 Is King going to go get JR to save this damn show? #WWE #BWF

Justin Roberts introduces the cast of The A-Team, but only Bradley Cooper comes out. He says that he’s not sure where the others are, but The A-Team opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, and he says that he’s excited to host RAW tonight. The screen moves, and we see Jerry Lawler walking around backstage. People stop him, but he claims he’s looking for someone. The other two cast members from The A-Team show up and King says that someone stole his crown. Rampage says that he thinks he knows who has it, and they leave. However, the Bella Whores I MEAN TWINS start talking and talking, and I don’t know what they said, becuse I don’t like them!!

Next up, Santino comes up, and we’re told that the choices for this match are either an actual match, an arm-wrestling competition, or a dance-off. Three guesses what this one’s gonna be…

Vladimir Kozlov comes out and gets in the ring, and then Matt Striker tells us that the fans voted on a dance-off. Surprise. Surprise.

Santino Marella vs Vladimir Kozlov in a Dace-Off

Santino starts first and it’s surprisingly not that bad. I mean, it’s not that great, but it’s not that bad. He does the running man, I believe, turned his Cobra move into a dance move, a Chippendale type thing, and then ended it with his Cobra again. Now, it’s Vlaidimir’s turn. The Moscow Mauler shows that he actually does have some kind of rthym, and manages to win. Oh, and Cole, it’s not vintage if he’s never done it before. Shut up.

Vladimir Kozlov wins dance-off

He does some weird ass belly roll thing and then dances with Santino, and leaves the ring. Whatever. Next up, you vote on the Diva’s action!! Either a six-on-six Diva Tag Match, a Diva Battle Royal, or a Champion vs Champion match!!

All the Divas come out to the ring to Eve’s music, and Jerry’s in the ring. He says that you all voted, and the Diva’s match will be a Diva’s Battle Royal!

Divas Battle Royal

I hate trying to cover Battle Royals, because my ADD kicks in. Anyway, here’s the order of eliminations: Rosa Mendes, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Nikki or Brie Bella, Brie or Nikki Bella, Layla, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres and Jillian Hall.

Winner: Maryse

Later on tonight, Edge takes on Randy Orton, with one arm tied behind his back.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring (I assume), and is stopped by Kane, who says that just because Sheamus is on RAW and not on Smackdown doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook. Sheamus took out Triple H to make a name for himself, and Kane says that Sheamus would do the same to The Undertaker. Sheamus says that he wouldn’t be shy about it, and he’d do it out in the open. Sheamus goes on to say that he doesn’t take kindly to false accusations, and Kane says he doesn’t take kindly to liars.

Next up, yu choose who Sheamus should face: Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne.

@steveaustinweb Natalya couldn’t be in this one!? #RAW

@alisha225 SHEAMUS A. GETS A TAN B. GETS COLORED IN C. DISAPPEARS

@ThingsColeSays If Kane set Sheamus’ hair on fire, would anybody even notice?

We come back to Sheamus in the ring, and a flashback to last week. You know, where Evan Bourne teamed up with John Cena to actually be in a main event? That they won? AGAINST SHEAMUS AND EDGE?! That one. Matt Striker then says who the opponent is, and OMG MARK HENRY GOT RID OF THE KOOL-AID MAN GEAR!

Sheamus vs Kane

Holy condiment man, Batman!! Sheamus looked freaked out, which made me happy, because it was just like the old days! You know, when Kane didn’t lose every other match to guys like Dolph Ziggler. Anyway, the match begins, and Kane immediatly gets the upper hand and hurls Sheamus over the top rope. He follows Sheamus out of the ring, beating on his arm for a bit before thowing him back in the ring. Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Sheamus knocks his leg out from under him, and hits him with some forearms. Sheamus then hits a running powerslam, though it looked more like a waddling powerslam to me, and goes for a cover. Kane kicks out at two, and Sheamus dominates going into the commercial.

We come back to see Sheamus going for a cover, but Kane kicks out a two. So, Sheamus tries his luck at a submission, but Kane powers out and pushes Sheamus into the ropes, dropping a big boot on Sheamus’ head. The two exchange slaps for a minute before Kane gains the upper hand, Irish Whipping Sheamus, then clotheslining him. He hits a sidewalk slam, then his usual dropkick to the mouth, and goes for a cover. Sheamus kicks out at two. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline on Sheamus. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks Kane in the gut. Sheamus misses with an Axe Handle, and Kane goes for a chokeslam. Sheamus gets out and counters with a backbreaker on Kane. Sheamus then goes for his big boot, but Kane goes for a chokeslam, and simply shoves Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus gets back in and goes for another boot to the face, but Kane counters with the chokeslam. Sheamus rolls out of the ring, and doesn’t get back in.

Kane wins via Count Out.

Later on, WWE Champion John Cena will fight World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk

@Niki_Sushi gotta admit it. I love the photo-shopped sling on Randy.

Congratulations to Wade Barrett for winning NXT! The NXT ring announcer, Savannah, greets and congratulates Wade for his win. She asks what it’s like to win, and he tells her that asking him that is like asking a genius how it feels to pass a school exam. He says not to ask him that until after he makes history later.

Ted and Virgil are talking about Viewer’s Choice, and Ted says he should be running the show. Rampage and Murdoch (I know I’m mixing names here, but I don’t care) show up and say that they know that Ted has Jerry’s crown. Ted says he could buy whatever he wants, and the last thing he wants is Jerry’s crown. Murdoch says that he’s going to bring out the lie detector, and Ted says they don’t work. Rampage gets nose-to-nose with Virgil and says that it’s not that kind of lie detector. IRS shows up, wearing Jerry’s crown, and says that since Jerry never paid backtaxes on the jewels, it’s his. Ted then says that he knows who they are and that the crown was only bait. Smoke fills the room, and Murdoch passes out as Ted, Virgil, and IRS grab Rampage.

Next up, R-Truth and The Miz have a tag team match!! You vote on their tag team partners. For Truth, you can choose Christian, MVP, or John Morrison. For Miz, you can choose Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.

R-Truth comes out and says that the WWE Universe had the power tonight to pick his tag-team pertner, and he wants to know who it is. So, the poll comes up and it was John Morrison!! Next, The Miz comes out, saying that the WWE Universe obviously doesn’t know what they’re doing. They chose John Morrison, after they chose Khali and Hornswoggle to face the Hart Dynasty, and then chose Vladimir to do a dance-off, so Miz doesn’t care who his partner is. All that matters is that Miz wins tonight so that he can go about getting his United States Championship back.

United States Champion R-Truth and John Morrison vs The Miz and Zack Ryder

Miz and R-Truth start it out, and Miz gets the upperhand. Truth manages to avoid Miz, and hip tosses Miz. He then tags in Morrison. They Irish Whipped him at the same time, and hip tossed him together. Morrison grabs Miz and tags Truth back in, the two double slam, and then Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz kicks Truth in the face and tags in Zack Ryder. Ryder hits Truth with a neck breaker, and then goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at one. Ryder moves and tags Miz back in, and Miz kicks Truth in the gut. He punches Truth in the face, kicks him in the head, and then bounces off the rope to kick Truth in the face. He then covers Truth, only for Truth to kick out at two. Miz gets Truth in a headlock, and Truth tosses Miz behind him, and they’re both down. Truth goes to tag Morrison, and Miz grabs his ankle, only ending up in pulling off his shoe as Morrison is tagged in. Morrison hits Miz with a clothesline, then an Irish Whip into a flying chuck. Morrison then knocks Ryder off the apron, and hits Miz with a knee to the face. Morrison goes to cover Miz, but Ryder breaks it up. Truth comes in, smacking Ryder around, until Miz grabs Truth. Truth then slaps Miz, Ryder shoves Truth out of the ring, and Morrison kicks Ryder out. He then turns his attention to Miz, who moves so that Morrison’s shoulder meets the ring post. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale, goes for the cover and wins with a three count.

The Miz and Zack Ryder win.

Edge and Bret are talking backstage, and Edge says that it’s not fair. Bret says that, fair or not, it’s going to happen. Edge walks off, and Bret starts to walk away, only for Kane to come out and call Bret out. Kane says that if he finds out it was Bret, then he will be in a vegetative state, just like the Undertaker is.

@jenrae73 My 50yr old alcoholic Aunt has the same shirt R-Truth is wearing 2nite. #Raw #WWE #BWF

Edge vs Randy Orton with Edge’s hand tied behind his back

Edge comes out, and there is a flashback to last week, when Randy RKO’d Edge in the ring, and Edge retaliated by slamming the door shut on Randy’s shoulder. Randy comes out afterward in a sling. The ref ties Edge’s arm behind his back, and then the match begins. Edge goes for a clothesline, but Randy ducks it. Edge goes for a kick, but Randy ducks and retaliates with a clothesline of his own, and proceeds to stop on Edge. Randy went for a left-handed RKO, but missed, and Edge knocked him down. Edge manages to get his arm free and goes at Randy’s shoulder before the ref pulls him away. Edge breaks away from the ref and does it again, before the ref calls for the bell.

Randy wins via DQ

Edge moves to the opposite corner and prepares for the spear. He goes for it, but Randy kicks at Edge and then kicks him right out of the ring. He then follows Edge, but Edge had a chair and hits Randy’s shoulder with it. When Randy goes down, Edge hits him again with it. As Edge walks backstage, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole tries to figure out if Edge knocked Randy’s shoulder out of socket.

We come back to Evan and John talking to each other about last week. Savannah comes up after Evan walks away and asks Cena how he feels about not knowing his opponent tonight. He says that he feels better about this match that he does about Fatal 4Way, since he has to face three different men. At least in this match, it’s just one. Besides, he feels that the decision is left up to the most able-bodied decision makers on the show: The WWE Universe.

The camera goes to the locker room where Murdoch was, and Mean Gene is talking to him, saying that he has a chance to surpass the previous A-Team, and he hopes that Murdoch will do a better job of it then Josh Matthews did of replacing him. Murdoch seems to get an idea and takes off.

Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring, and Teddy Long comes on, saying that the choices for Drew’s opponent are Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, or a Mystery Man!!

<COMMERCIAL>

Drew McIntyre vs Mystery Man… Matt Hardy!

Obviously not surprising, the Mystery Man is Matt Hardy. When Matt comes out, Drew grabs a mic and says that this match isn’t happening because Matt is suspended. Teddy comes out and says that, unfortunately for Drew, Matt’s only suspended from Smackdown, not from RAW, so the match is taking place. Drew starts to say something, but before he can say anything else, Matt smacks him and then tackles Drew. Matt hits a clothesline and throws Drew out of the ring, bouncing his head off the announce table, and then throwing him right into Michael Cole. Matt then hurls him into the barricade, a ring post, then headbutts him before getting Drew back in the ring. Drew manages to retaliate with a kick, but they’re both down. Drew runs at Matt, and Matt moves, sending Drew right into the pole. Matt hits the Twist of Fate for the win.

Matt Hardy wins

Matt continues to assault Drew after the match, throwing the ref away when he tries to stop Matt. Matt ends up yanking out a pretty nice sized chunk of Drew’s hair.

The camera shows Rampage chained to a chair and he asks Ted what he wants with him. Ted says that it’s not important right now. Right now, they’re going to the ring.

Ted, Virgil, and IRS handcuff Rampage to the ring ropes, and hold him back. Ted says that he’s doing this because everyone has a price, even him. Someone said they wanted Ramapge delivered to them on a silver patter, and Ted said to name their price. So, it was paid, and now Rampage was all theirs. The person that comes out to claim Rampage would be none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper says that at Wrestlemania I, he shut everyone up who kept saying that The A-Team was te hottest show on television, and he silenced the old Mr. T. Now, he says he has to silence another “Mr. T”, and he’s not going to see The A-Team. Piper pities the fool who mess with Hot Rod.

However, Dusty Rhodes, Mean Gene, and Murdoch make their way to the ring. Rampage shoves IRS and Virgil away, and pulls his hand free from the handcuff. IRS goes for a clothesline on Rhodes, and Rhodes dodges, elbowing him in the head instead. Virgil and Piper just stand there, looking at Rampage and Rhodes. Rampage slams Virgil, and Piper leaves the ring. Gene asks how they did it, and Murdoch says he remembered where he was and that he needed to call Dusty for help.

Voting is open, so you can now choose whether WWE Champion John Cena faces World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk.

Next week’s guest host is USA Network’s Original Series Royal Pains Star, Mark Feuerstien, and I’m pretty sure I heard that Big Show is going to be hosting with him! Josh Matthews shows up with Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, and the Straight Edge Society, and asks them all why they should be competing against Cena tonight. Rey says that in order to get to the top, you have to go after whoever is on top. Swagger bascially just says that it’ll be Champion vs Champion, and Punk says that he can make Cena a better person.

Brrrrrr LEATHER SHOES!!!

Cena makes his way out to the ring, and Matt Striker lets us know who the pick was for Cena’s opponent tonight.

WWE Champion John Cena vs CM Punk with Straight Edge Society

As soon as the bell rings, Cena goes for the mask, and Punk rolls right out of the ring. It looks to me like CM Punk met up with the Bellas backstage and totally jacked their ring gear. Anyway, Punk gets the upperhand when he gets back in and puts Cena in a headlock. Cena counters with a shoulder block and flips Punk, putting him in a headlock. Punk reverses, then Cena counters, and goes for the mask again. Punk rolls out. When he gets back in, he goes for a lockup, but knees Cena in the gut, followed by his shoulder. He flips Cena, drops a dropkick to the back of Cena’s head, and goes for a cover. Cena kicks out at two. Punk gets Cena in a submission hold, but Cena powers out and goes for the STF, but Punk grabs the ropes. Punk misses a clothesline, and Cena Irish Whips him across the ring, hitting a bulldog. He goes for another move, but Luke Gallows grabs his ankles, sending him to the mat, rolling around.

@TKeep123 CM Punk is looking like an Amish Luchador! #WWE #RAW #BWF

We return to Punk holding Cena in a headlock. Cena counters to a fireman’s carry, but Punk counters it. Punk goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Cena ends up outside the ring, and Serena kicks Cena. Cena is then kicked by Punk and put back in the ring. Cena starts to fight back, then goes to Irish Whip Punk, just for Punk to reverse it. Cena ducks a clothesline, then hits Punk with two shoulder tackles, and a takedown. Cena pauses as he sees Wade Barrett begin making his way down the ramp. Cena ignores him for a minute, and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and lifts Punk up to a fireman’s carry. But, he drops Punk and tells Barrett to make his move.

Okay, here is about where I got too confused to keep up with the show, unfortunately.

The Season One NXT Rookies appeared from frigging nowhere and started to tear everything apart. They took apart the ring, the barricades, announce table, beat the hell out of Cena, stripped Justin Roberts, choked him with his own tie, beat the hell out of Jerry Lawler… I don’t know what happened, to be honest. I think they were spending too much time alone with Sheamus in a room with nothing but black lights and all that fluorescent finally got to their heads…

Anyway, I don’t know what that was all about, and hopefully the WWE will explain it next week! And with that, I’ll see you next week!

Smackdown: 6/4/10. Who does Kane think he is? HHH?

June 5, 2010 2:26 am Leave a Comment

Smackdown

What’s up PW/BWF IWC brother dude brothers? It’s suffering time! Without much further ado…

– We’re told that during the Memorial weekend, the Undertaker was found by Kane in a vegetative state. Hence, he’s hurt and will be off TV for some time. He broke his orbital bone…. not a good thing to sustain. Thanks Teddy Long!… and away we go!

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Smackdown 05/29/10: We lost a great Little Big Man today…

May 29, 2010 3:08 am Leave a Comment

Smackdown

The first thing I notice as the camera pans through the crowd, is a guy with a “Bring Back Heat!” sign. I miss Stevie Night Heat… plus some of the fantastic matches that were allowed to occur on that program. Jimmy Yang and Paul London had some stellar bouts…. probably my favorites of all. And, the pregame show to PPV’s were great too…. ahh, but we can’t live in the past Mr. Guy in the Crowd, can we? We need to live in the present, as in tonight’s rendition of Smackdown!
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Smackdown: May 21, 2010.

May 22, 2010 3:42 am 4 Comments

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Smackdown

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The Over the Limit PPV is this Sunday, and this is the last show before the WWE expects you to pay your hard earned money ~~to pay for broadband internet to access pirate stream~~s to ante up for the show! Will it suck? Only one way to find out!
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Random Randomness

April 25, 2010 8:35 am 2 Comments

How is everybody this week? Well as the world turns and the days get longer and we get closer to our inevitable end, I realized something. I have another article to write. Well without further ado, here it is: (more…)

WWE RAW results 3/29/2010

March 30, 2010 1:39 am 1 Comment

John Cena walked out of WrestleMania the WWE Champion, MizShow walked out as Unified Tag Team Champions, Jack Swagger walked out as Mr. Money In The Bank, and HBK walked out and headed for the unemployment line. What’s going to happen tonight on RAW? We’ll find out!

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