To the back! Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich argue over making up with Madison Rayne. Rayne shows up, and argues with Sky. Sky finally agrees to make up, but isn’t happy about it. Usually The Beautiful People are great fun on the mic, but this whole segment felt off. The content was confusing, and it really wasn’t Sky or Rayne’s fault.

Sarita vs. Angelina Love (#1 Contender’s match): A Number One Contender’s match should be treated as something important. This was not. Apparently just being allowed on tv at all entitles a Knockout to a title shot. Considering that HHHogan and Bischoff ruined the division by scaling back their presence because The Orange One claims that none of them can work, the fact that a Number One Contender’s match is even happening is surprising. As much as I had wanted to see Angelina Love and Sarita tear it up, this match was not as good as it should have been. Both women have the ability to really go, but something wasn’t clicking tonight. Love hits the Botox Injection bicycle kick on Sarita for the pin. It’s Love versus Rayne, which surprises no one.

Winner (and #1 Contender to the Knockouts Championship title): Angelina Love

To the back! Orlando Jordan and Eric Young are tagging tonight. Young acts like the goofy comedy act that he used to be. Jordan is annoyed with this. So are the rest of us. Please, merciful Jeebus, do NOT bring back Super Eric!

To the video recap! Eric Young’s head injury at the hands (or feet, really) of Suicide on “X-plosion” is apparently the cause of a complete personality change. Oh, joy.

Ink, Inc. vs. Orlando Jordan and Eric Young: Jordan enters and tries to put his chewed gum into the mouth of SoCal Val. She objects. Young enters carrying a mannequin draped in feather boas. Really? REALLY? Young sets up the mannequin, his “back-up,” in the corner with the tag rope. He actually throws the mannequin into the ring at Ink, Inc. at one point. I wish I were making up all of this. Ink, Inc. gets the win. Post-match, Young actually checks on the broken mannequin and throws up the sign for an actual injury. Whether this was supposed to be funny or offensive doesn’t matter, as it was neither. Mike Tenay’s comments about Jordan’s sexuality did not need to be made. Can’t the guy just be a wrestler for once, and leave his personal life alone?

Winners: Ink, Inc.

To the ring! Ric Flair brings AJ Styles, Kazarian, and Beer Money with him, and introduces them as the Fortune stable. After all the fuss, the only members of the group are the ones who were with Flair all along. Great storytelling there, TNA. Honestly, Fortune would feel much more important as a stable if the slightest effort had been made by anyone other than Mike Tenay to point out who would be good additions to the group. Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, Douglas Williams, even Jay Lethal himself (eventually) would have been good possibilities. At least they could have made us ponder the outcome by considering guys like that. But no. Sigh. Flair goes on to say that he has a rematch clause in every contract that he signs, and that next week, he’ll be facing Jay Lethal in a street fight. Yes, Flair will wrestle Lethal again, in a street fight, on free tv. For no real reason. Up yours, retirement! TNA just had a street fight between Beer Money and the Motor City Machine Guns. A standard wrestling match is now a rarity. Kazarian trashes Nexus (not by name, of course) as a group of unknown rookies, and points out that THEIR group consists of seasoned veterans. Yes. Whom HHHogan, Bischoff, and Dixie feel need Mumm-Ra the Everliving in order to get over. AJ announces that the Global title is now the Television title. If Rob Terry can beat Kazarian tonight, Terry gets the first shot at AJ’s title. Fortune prepares to leave, but the arrival of Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle prevents them. Angle tells AJ that it’s great that AJ is going to honor the new title belt. Angle, however, must honor the commitment that HE made to defeat all of the top ten contenders to the World Heavyweight Championship, and AJ is next in line.

Time out. It’s great that TNA has another title belt, particularly one designated as the Television title that will be defended on every program. That type of secondary title has definite uses. However, TNA’s track record with secondary titles is terrible. Look at the X-Division title. There really is no X-Division anymore. The title and all of the wrestlers in the division have been so devalued by TNA management that even serious TNA fans don’t really care about it anymore. We want to, but we can’t because it barely shows up on tv, and a guy who has never had a match in TNA gets repeated title shots for it? No. Just no.

Beer Money vs. the Motor City Machine Guns: This was the third match in the “best of five” series, and it was a cage match, no less. AARGH!!! Would it really have hurt anyone to have the first three matches be standard WRESTLING matches, have the winner of the third match choose the stipulation for the fourth match, and the winner of that match choose the stipulation for the fifth and final match for the titles at the ppv? It’s basic dramatic structure, for heaven’s sake! In any case, this match was more awesome than Awesome McAwesometon from Awesomeville, USA! I sat back and enjoyed it, and so should you, if you missed it. Beer Money stayed in the ring from the previous segment, and the MCMG music kicked in. Nothing happened. The Guns ran from the audience, climbed the cage, and started beating the daylights out of Beer Money. YES!!! Robert Roode got busted open early, and it was Crimson Mask time. Both Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin ended up with a lot of his blood on them. Fast-paced action with reversals, double-teams, reversals of double-teams, and mad ninja skill of all kinds. Storm tries to smash the beer bottle over Shelley’s head, but Shelley made his dodge roll and Storm hit Roode instead. The Guns hit their double-team finisher that is not the Made in Detroit, and the MCMG get the win! They retain the titles, and the series will continue to match #4.

Winners (and STILL Tag Team Champions): the Motor City Machine Guns

To the ramp! Mr. Anderson’s music plays, but it’s Matt Morgan who enters. Funny, but the best version of this by far was when CM Punk entered dressed as Jeff Hardy on the show after Punk “retired” Hardy for good. If you haven’t seen that one, you MUST! Morgan tries to make the mic come down after he gets to the ring, but the mic does not like this new man, and has to be threatened into cooperating. Anderson enters, and demonstrates just how simple it is to use said mic. Anderson goes to the ring, and Morgan tries to goad Anderson into punching him. Anderson kicks Morgan in the groin. They fight. Morgan chokes Anderson with a microphone cord. Oh, look at us, we’re so edgy and different from that other PG-rated show! Could you please try to be less obviously pathetic, TNA? Jeff HArdy makes the save for his “A-hole” friend, and security breaks them up. The two very large and muscley security guys beat down Hardy and Anderson until road agents Al Snow, D-lo Brown, and Pat Kenney run down and berate them. Um, ok….

To the back! Christy Hemme asks Anderson and Hardy about what just happened. Anderson says that the two security guys were trying to get in to the wrestling business, and they could make their debut tonight against himself and Hardy. Bring Morgan with you. So it’s three-on-two, then?

Kazarian vs. Rob Terry: Terry squashed Kazarian in less than thirty seconds. So not kidding. Rob Terry is a Welsh HHHogan without the orange glow. That is both an insult and the reason for his push.

Winner: Rob Terry

Matt Morgan, Gunner, and Murphy vs. Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy: Morgan tagged himself in at the start of the match, and demanded that Anderson face him. Anderson stepped in, and Morgan tagged out. The security guy tagged in by Morgan quickly tagged in his partner. That part was funny. That was about all that was entertaining. Morgan walks out on the match, leaving Anderson to hit the Mic Check, followed by a Hardy Swanton Bomb, for the pin.

Winners: Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy

To the back! Christy Hemme asks HHHogan what the big announcement from Bischoff concerns. He has to leave. Go, just go.

To the ring! Bischoff kisses up to Dixie in a very embarrassing manner, then pulls a pen from Miss Tessmacher’s ample cleavage to illustrate his order that everyone get a pen and write down what he has to say. On August 12, the “Impact” following the “Hardcore Justice” ppv will be a ppv-quality show. In a way, Bischoff just announced that his own show is crap. He tries to announce the main event of said “Impact,” but Abyss enters again, armed with “his girl, Janice.” Like a girl Friday, but with more nails. “They” apparently want the main event of that “Impact” to be a no-DQ ladder match with Janice hanging above the ring between Abyss and Rob Van Dam. Behaving surprisingly monster-y, Abyss intimidates Bischoff into making the match. Abyss starts to leave, but says that Janice wants revenge for Bischoff’s slapping of Abyss in previous weeks. Abyss attacks Bischoff with Janice, but RVD makes the save. They fight until Abyss dodges an RVD plancha, and the World Heavyweight Champion smashes into the guard rail. Abyss goes after Dixie, who flees, and the agents see to RVD.

Abyss vs. Tommy Dreamer: Agent Al Snow handed Janice to Dreamer. Nice touch. Dreamer should not wear tights. He’s definitely a pants wrestler. Trashcan wrestling here. Didn’t care for it much in the original ECW, don’t care for it much now. Lots of trash cans, cookie sheets, kendo sticks, the classics. Dreamer pulls a sheet of plywood festooned with barbed wire from beneath the ring. As the Ten Commandments of Pro Wrestling state, if you set it up, you go through it. Abyss chokeslams Dreamer onto the barbed wire for the pin. Post-match, Abyss tries to use Janice on Dreamer, but Raven makes the save. Raven then DDTs Dreamer. Because that’s what Raven does. He leans over Dreamer, licking his face and asking him how he likes that as the show fades to black.

Does ECW really have to be the entire show? Where was “The Pope?” Samoa Joe? Desmond Wolfe? Daffney? Hamada? A one-night nostalgia show for a company dead nine years will NOT give TNA its own identity, nor will it make TNA relevant to 2010 audiences. I had to chuckle to myself about one thing. Do all the kids in the audience chanting “ECW! ECW!” and the parents who encourage them, have any idea that the same Brother Ray whom they so vigorously cheered when he asked about setting someone on fire is the same man who proclaimed that “if God were a heel, he’d be the Dudleys” after gang-raping a broken-necked Beulah McGillicutty in her hospital bed? Just wondering. It’s amazing what can become nostalgic.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

According to the commercial that came on about five minutes before RAW did, Eve has invoked her rematch clause for the Diva’s Championship against Alicia Fox, and tonight, we’ll find out what the mystery General Manager has in store for Nexus.

We start of RAW with Nexus (and Wade Barrett this week) standing in a line in the ring.  Wade says attacking Vince McMahon was just part of a bigger picture.  Sheffield says that they attacked Ricky Steamboat and the Legends just for fun, which wasn’t why they attacked the others.    An email from the GM says that he’s decided on a punishment for Nexus for their attack on Vince: None of the Nexus can compete for a WWE Title until further notice.  Furthermore, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch WWE Superstars and vice-versa has been lifted.  Cena comes out, followed by Randy, Truth, Evan, John Morrison, and the Hart Dynasty.  the Superstars are attacked by Sheamus, Uso’s, Ted, Jericho, Miz, and Edge.  Nexus has disappeared.  The faces are left standing in the ring.  Sheamus says that the heels don’t want to help him.  Randy says that he and Cena will never be friends unless they have to, and says that they should finish what they started with the seven heels.  An email from the GM says that if they want action, they’ll get it.  All eight members of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match will be against one another in singles competition.  Cena will face Barrett tonight, but it won’t be a match.  The GM want Cena and Barrett to call a truce.  Cena says that instead of calling a truce, how about he knocks Barrett’s teeth out.  GM says he needs Cena to be the bigger man and he trusts Cena to do the right thing, or else his  actions will be met with the appropriate consequences, and… that’s the bottom line, because the GM said so.

<COMMERCIAL>

John Morrison vs Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Maryse sits ringside and calls Cole out for calling her a gold digger.  I’m actually a little amused by her, especially that she answered the phone during the match, and just insults Cole.  It makes me laugh.  Anyway, she jacks Morrison’s jacket and distracts him so that Ted can get a cheap shot… or four?  DiBiase hits Dream Street for the win.

Ted DiBiase wins by pinfall.

Santino and Vladimir Kozlov make their way to the ring (“Italia and Russia together again! Like World War 2! Except this time, no Nazis.” – Santino Marealla), and later, John Cena and Wade Barrett are supposed to call a truce… yeah right.

<COMMERCIAL>

Slam of the Week: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Santino Marella and then beats up William Regal after Regal attacks Santino.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and The Great Khali

Regal calls them oxygen thieves before the match even starts and makes me laugh.  Regal calls Khali a monster, which makes me roll my eyes… At any rate, Kozlov demolishes Regal, then tags Santino in, almost getting in trouble, Santino gets demolished by Regal, and Kozlov pins Regal.

Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella win via pinfall.

After the match, Khali climbs in the ring, and tells Santino and Vladimir to stand Regal up, and just knocks him in the head.  Khali and Santino, and Ranjin, dance, and Vladimir wonders where his days of glory went off to.

Later on tonight, Edge brings Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne to The Cutting Edge, as well as information on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and the other Legends after last week’s assault.

<COMMERCIAL>

Arn Anderson says that Ricky’s attack was serious.  Sheamus shows up and mocks Anderson, essentially, calling him a pathetic old man.  Anderson says that they have to get out of the way of their egos and work on Nexus, or the company, and their careers, are going to go up in flames.

<COMMERCIAL>

United States Champion The Miz vs R-Truth

Miz come sout to Truth’s theme and is rapping, which made me die… It was hilarious.  Before the match even starts, he starts beating on Truth, while I’m still laughing my ass off…  Anyway, Miz just goes off on Truth’s arm.  The bell never officially rang, but for my ego’s sake…

The United States Champion The Miz wins… by ass-kicking.

<COMMERCIAL>

The Cutting Edge: Money In the Bank Pay-Per-View Edition

Edge makes his way to the ring, set up with ladders, and the Money in the Bank briefcase.  He says that he’s smarter than Randy and everyone else there.  Why make seven enemies, when he can make seven powerful allies?  They just need leadership, which he can provide.  He goes to call out Evan Bourne, but Jericho comes out instead.

Jericho says he doesn’t take a back seat to anyone, and that Edge is shamelessly pandering to Nexus.  He was Wade Barrett’s pro, and that helped him win the season.  Chris told Barrett to make an impact, do something never done before.   Edge rubs the loss to Evan Bourne in, and Jericho rubs Edge’s loss at Wrestlemania in.   Edge starts to give Jericho a history lesson, but Edge just wants to be Jericho, according to Jericho.  Edge gets sick of Jericho and attacks him.  Jericho attacks back and puts Edge in the walls of Jericho, but Evan comes out and hits Jericho.  Then, he jumps over a Spear, ducks under both of them, and flips right out of hte ring.  Then the GM sends an email.

The GM says if the audience want to see some action, give him a HELL YEAH.  So, they’re clearing the ring of The Cutting Edge stuff, and the following is going to take place.

<COMMERCIAL>

Edge and Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Starts off with Orton and Bourne getting some really good momentum, and then Jericho turns it around right before the commercial break.  When we come back, Edge still has the momentum over Bourne, mostly thanks to Jericho beating Bourne during the break.  Randy almost had Jericho set up for the RKO, but Edge interfered and Jericho manage to hit the insigari.  Bourne gets tagged in, and Jericho starts to yell and berate Edge, so Edge spears him.  Bourne hits the Air Bourne for the win.

Randy Orton and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Afterward, Randy hits an RKO on Evan, and smirks toward the ramp.

<COMMERCIAL>

Randy walks backstage, and Nexus stops him.  Otunga says that nothing was against Randy, but the WWE Championship match at Fatal 4Way was just to make a statement.  They’re trying to apologize, and they won’t interfere in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but they can’t promise anything for the steel cage match.  Otunga says he wants Randy to think about hit next time Cena tries to recruit him.  Randy says he’s heard what they have to say, now get out of his face.

During the previous commercial break, the GM emailed and said that the Hart Dynasty would defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against The Uso’s.  The Uso’s and Tamina tell Josh Matthews that this is the opportunity of the lifetime.  They say they’ll be the new Tag Team Champions, and next week, everyone will know what the Uso’s and Tamina are all about.  Alicia seems upset that she hasn’t been interviewed once since she became the Diva’s Champion.  She asks if it’s because she’s not important, or because he doesn’t care what she has to say, and the WWE Universe says that, yeah, she’s pretty much right.  Anyway, next is the Diva’s Championship match.

<COMMERCIAL>

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres for the Diva’s Championship

Pretty standard Diva’s match, with Alicia faking an ankle injury to get Eve off guard to retain.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox retains via pinfall.

<COMMERCIAL>

The GM says that next week, Edge and Randy Orton will go one on one.

Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we get back from the commercial break.  Wade says that he wants Cena to come out so they can shake hands like men.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER FOOD!!!!

Cena comes out and starts checking for Nexus.  He gets in the ring, still looking for Nexus.  Wade says that Cena is not in Nexus’ future plans, regardless of what they’ve done.  Barrett wants to put everything in the past behind them so that they can move on.  The simple fact is that the Nexus Seven are going to be there for a long time and can make his life easy, or a lot harder than it has been.  The choice is Cena’s.

Cena asks, if they shake hands, it stops?  No more looking over his shoulder?  Cena says that the anonymous GM wanted to do this truce, but Cena needs to know if Barrett does, and he needs Barrett’s word.  If they shake hands, this stops.   Cena holds his hand out, and Barrett goes to shake it, but Cena pulls his hand away and asks why stop when they’re having so much fun?!  Cena says take your truces, handshakes, future plans, blah blah blah, crumple them, and stuff them up your Nexus.  The future is that Cena takes down Nexus, whether he does it himself, has help, he gets to every single one of them.

Barrett says that the fact that Cena is even capable of standing in the ring is a testament to, basically, how it isn’t about him.  Barrett is warning Cena: Shake his hand, or Cena will face some very, very severe consequences.  Cena grabs his hand, then starts to get him in an Attitude Adjustment.  The Nexus Seven come out, but then dso does Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Khali, Goldust, Kozlov, Santino, the Hart Dynasty, Yoshi Tatsu… and I think that was all…  it got hard to tell.  Sorry.  Basically, Nexus is then shoved out of the ring, except Darren Young, who got bitch slapped by Mark Henry.

The GM sends an email: I wanted peace, so if things don’t stop now, there will be consequences.  Cena puts Young in the STF.  The GM sends another email: Cena, because of your actions, you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a seven-on-one handicapped match.  Cena then begins hammering away on Darren Young again.  Cena then throws the “steel” ring steps at Darren Young’s head, throws Young over the announce table, and then shoves the announce table over on Young.

Next week, I guess we’ll see more of the Nexus.  Until then, seeya around.

The first thing I notice as the camera pans through the crowd, is a guy with a “Bring Back Heat!” sign. I miss Stevie Night Heat… plus some of the fantastic matches that were allowed to occur on that program. Jimmy Yang and Paul London had some stellar bouts…. probably my favorites of all. And, the pregame show to PPV’s were great too…. ahh, but we can’t live in the past Mr. Guy in the Crowd, can we? We need to live in the present, as in tonight’s rendition of Smackdown!

- Teddy Long comes out to announce some matches, but is interrupted by the Scottish boy toy of Vince McMahon, Drew McIntyre. “Right now, I should still be the Intercontinental Champion…” he begins as he whines about the match at the Over the Limit PPV where Kofi Kingston won the title. Long more or less tells him to bugger off, to which Drew responds, “I’m the chosen one.” Huh…. then Drew pulls a note out of his knee pad.

Mr. Kotter, I’ve got a note…

- Vince McMahon demands the letter is read out loud by Long. Vince’s orders is that Matt Hardy is suspended without pay due to him attacking McIntyre post match last Sunday. This is followed by Hardy coming out, pissed off naturally. Security guards (why do they always look like independent wrestlers!?!? Ha ha!!) restrain him, as Long warns “They’re going to make me fire you.”

- While I enjoyed this bit, you know it makes Drew look weak. He comes across as unable to actually win without help from Vinnie-Mac. I won’t shit on this for now, but certainly they need to advance the storyline soon. And at some point, having Drew fall out of the good graces of McMahon would be a fantastic way to play this out until Summerslam (or at least build towards it).

Can’t wait!!

- Heels abound! As we return, Drew is joined by his tag partner, Jack Swagger, who comes out and reminds us multiple times that he is still the World Heavy Weight Champion. Four times in a row in fact. He should have just recorded and looped that audio sample… Out comes Kofi Kingston and his partner the Big Show… well, three out of four ain’t bad! I rip on Show, he will never be Andre, but when used right, he does play a great giant. Certainly not as the Mediocre Khali who generally stinks up the place. Literally.

- Things start off great as Kofi and McIntyre show some great chemistry. They had a damn fine match at the PPV, and this continues here. KEEP THE FEUD GOING! Since the match is great, WWE naturally cuts away to commercials… When we come back Show’s domination of Drew ends as he tags in the former Jamaican. This match is pretty damn good! Show plays his role as he should, allowing for Kofi to show off against the two heels the majority of the time, flying all over the place. After a nice long match, Show snags a hot tag and just destroys McIntyre. Swagger kind of watches like a deer caught in the headlights from outside the ring as Show chokeslams the Scotsman and takes the match with a decisive pin… I wonder who might have a note turning over the decision?

Oh! Oh! Mr. Kotter! Oh! Oh!

G@ Horshack: “Hush child, I’m done with 1970′s television references for the night. You’re teacher turned into a ravaged gambling addict by the way. FYI.”

- We return to Luke Gallows and Serena comforting a camera-hidden CM Punk who had his head shaved on Sunday. They keep it a big secret as Punk still manages to be hidden under a towel. Toss to Vickie talking to a variety of guys backstage in a fairly generic portion of the show. The only relevant part, I guess, is Vickie making the moves on Dolph “Ziggy” Ziggler for helping her out… Vickie has set up a match with him and Chavo against Christian and Hornswoggle. And we zoom in on a necklace Vickie’s wearing that says “Cougar.” MAKE THIS END! Eddie dies again. Seriously, not cool.

- Punk and his SES come out to address the crowd while Punk remains under a towel for the big reveal. Ok, time to eat crow dude. Ha ha!!! That’s awesome! Punk reveals he is wearing a lucha libre mask (black with SES over the bridge of the nose). Screw Ted Dibiase, that’s priceless!

I couldn’t find a picture of it, so I’ll just remind everybody why certain wrestlers should STAY masked. Right Rey?

- I love how he looks sad in that picture, likely as he agrees with me.

- Kane is out to battle CM Punk Mysterio. I’m loving this angle! We’ve seen the head shaving being hidden before in a hilarious way (see Kurt Angle’s wig), but this is so appropriately unique, it might be the best of all time. Discuss.

- This match is alright, not great, to start. However, we do get some good psychology as Punk works Kane’s left knee. He also plays the outside count out well. Submission leg move continues to sell bringing the big man down. That, my smarks, is how to tell a story… even if it’s a TV match up.

MEANWHILE…

Al Creed of RAW REFLECTIONS over at Project Wonderboy fills me in on this saddening news:

I lied, one more 1970′s television reference… RIP Gary Coleman.

- Although I was somewhat distracted during this… it was turned out to be a pretty good match. Yes, Kane was actually in it too… seriously. Punk picked up the win.

- Fucking weird how I started this review with the seventies theme, and somehow it was interconnected to one of the era’s biggest stars passing away.

- Next up is our Christian/Hornswoggle versus Chavo/Ziggler match. It’s pretty lame at anytime Christian is not in the ring. Chavo attempts a frogsplash only to miss and allowing Christian to land a Kill-Switch for the win! Post match Dolph puts his sleeper hold throwback on Christian, and it’s lights out for the Canadian.

Too early?

JJ Walker@ G: “You’re a dick, G.”
G@ JJ Walker: How’s the rehab going?

- Josh Matthews interviews McCool and Layla who both hold the WWE Women’s championship in a bastardization of the Freebird rule. This is so retarded. They try to explain that since the win was a handi-cap match, therefore that means that two titles now exist. Wow, way to take something that had very little value left in it in the first place and kill… it… dead. Good job WWE! Way to destroy the legacy of the women who gave so much over the years! Stupid.

- MVP is set to face Luke Gallows in a “Time Killer Match.” Not sure what the point of this is. Let’s find out as I suffer through this. Damn I wish Gallows would relapse at least one time when the bell rings… It’s pretty much a paint-by-the-numbers match up, with the only notable aspect being the mystery SES member coming out from under the ring and costing MVP the match, and allowing Gallows to pick up the win. I’m still pulling for the mystery guy to be Darren Young of NXT at this point. Who else could it be that would make any sense? It sure ain’t Hornswoggle…

Too early?

Under the bed, in the closet, whatever… it sure ain’t Marty Wright either way…

- The Undertaker versus Rey Mysterio is our main event. It’s a fatal fourway match to decide who faces Jack Swagger at the June PPV. Taker takes his sweet time down to the ring, eating up valuable match time as if he is under contract with TNA. I’m not excited about this match at all. In fact, I’ll be surprised if it is even worth watching… At least Mysterio hits a nice 360 splash onto the Undertaker before we hit the last commercial break of the evening!

- Matt Striker tries to tell us that the Undertaker is moving faster and better than ever before. Mmm-hmm…. no.

Too early?

Merit Badge awarded.

- Taker ultimately plays the typical giant in the Mysterio small guy formula. This match was not much more… until the finish. After Take dominates forever, Rey gets his face pop. Just when it looks like he is in control, Rey goes for a 180 springboard splash, only to be caught in midair by the Undertaker. He immediately tombstones Rey and grabs the pin. That was cool… but…

- The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out. Later.

————————————————————————

Random Morphine Reference:

————————————————————————

Project Wonderboy Appreciation Week continues until Sunday. Smiley Face!

———————————————————-

Shameless Plugs!

———————————————————–

Bored Wrestling Fan

Project Wonderboy

Morphine Nation

G might be the mastermind behind this project… maybe. Could be a clone version though…
LarG Productions

My brother in arms, ThinkSoJoE kicks ass and takes names with the band ThinkSoBrain:
Thinksobrain

Alright, I don’t want to talk too much (this is the RAW review, not the iMPACT review, y’know!), so let’s get started!

Last week, Mr. McMahon pinned John Cena with a little help from his friends.

This week, we’re going to Burn It To The Ground, which has got to be the most whored out song since Saliva released “Ladies and Gentlemen” a few weeks back.

We’ve got a vintage show here tonight – literally!  Chris Jericho will face Shawn Michaels, and Triple H will face Randy Orton in WrestleMania rematches.  Our guest host is even a former RAW General Manager…

(glass shatters…)

Stone Cold Steve Austin is arguably the greatest wrestler of all time, and he’s in charge here tonight!  Austin wants to open up a can of whoopass – which is bleeped out.  Austin thinks he’s out of shape, because walking the short length down the ramp made him pretty thirsty.  He gets a couple of beers, and he talks about the importance of WrestleMania and puts over his WrestleMania 13 match with Bret Hart.  Bret says he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be, and Austin agrees that Bret’s a hell of a wrestler.  Mr. McMahon’s not a wrestler, but he’s one of the meanest individuals Austin had ever been in the ring with.  Tonight, we’ll be signing the contract.  Vince is always trying to screw everybody he does business with, so Austin will be overseeing the contract signing, so we can get to WrestleMania without a hitch.  If that means Austin has to give McMahon a Stunner, so be it.  That’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.

BRRRRRRRRSHABADOOOOOOOOOOO!

John Cena hits the ring before Austin even gets a chance to leave.  Austin feigns a Stunner and gives Cena the “You Can’t See Me” gesture before taking off…

Wellllllllll…  It’s the Big Show!

Austin stops in his tracks and smiles at The Big Show, then gives the chokeslam signal, which gets a smile out of the World’s Largest Athlete.

The Big Show def. John Cena in a WrestleMania XX Rewind

Cena holds his own against the much larger Big Show, but when he tries to slam Show, he collapses under the weight and Show gets a two count.  Show goes for the VaderBomb Elbow, which I’ve never seen him hit – and he doesn’t hit it here either.  Cena dropkicks Show’s knee out from under him, sending him face first into the turnbuckle, then hits the rapper dropper from the top rope.  He signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle (AKA the Euphemism For Masturbation), when Batista’s music hits.  The Animal heads down to the ring, the distraction leading to a Big Show chokeslam, which only scored a two.  He goes for the knockout punch, but Cena ducks and goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Batista got on the apron, distracting the referee, which allows Show to rake Cena’s eyes, escaping the Attitude Adjustment then knocking Cena out cold for the pinfall victory.

Batista leans into the ring and says something to Cena before walking away.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Evan Bourne didn’t get an entrance.  You know what that usually indicates.  It doesn’t help his chances that his opponent is Sheamus.

The Celtic Warrior gets in the ring, and he’s got something to say.  He grabs the microphone – and then decks Evan Bourne across the skull with it.  He nails a pump kick and the Celtic Cross on Bourne – which Bourne sold so well that my girlfriend thought he broke his neck.  Anyways, Sheamus has always been fascinated by the WWE and it’s Superstars, particularly one.  A man so selfish, aggressive and vicious that he’d turn his back on anybody, even using a sledgehammer in the process.  That man’s name is Triple H.  He’s beaten all of the top guys and won countless World Championships.  That’s nothing.  Sheamus has ended careers, dominated RAW, and won the WWE Championship all within his first year.  Triple H cost him his chance to defend the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, and Sheamus actually thanks him for that.  Triple H is the guy you have to beat to prove yourself at WrestleMania, and Sheamus plans on doing it.  At WrestleMania, he’ll take the throne from the King of Kings.

Backstage, Shawn Michaels visits Steve Austin.  He wants to know if Austin thinks he can beat The Undertaker.  Austin tells him he certainly does think HBK can beat Undertaker, but he doesn’t think he will.  HBK thanks Austin for being honest, but says that he’ll prove him wrong like he’s done to all of his critics throughout his career.  Tonight, he’ll go out and beat Chris Jericho.  Jericho steps in and says that he’s grateful for the opportunity to embarrass Shawn Michaels one more time before before Undertaker retires him.  Michaels says he’s not just going to beat Jericho tonight.  Undertaker sent him a message by destroying four men on SmackDown, so he’s going to destroy Jericho tonight.  Michaels leaves, and Jericho tries to talk his way out of the match.  Austin tells him to get out of his office and go compete.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Holla, holla

Kelly Kelly actually gets an entrance this week, but it doesn’t matter.  Her opponent happens to be the WWE Divas Champion, Maryse.

Maryse def. Kelly Kelly

Ugh.  I don’t care about this squash match.  Maryse wins with the French Kiss DDT.

After the match, Maryse continues to attack Kelly Kelly.  Gail Kim and Eve come to make the save, but Team LayCool from SmackDown head down and destroy the two of them.  Michelle, Layla, and Maryse join SmackDown consultant Vickie Guerrero at the top of the ramp and pose before leaving.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Video: The same Undertaker/HBK video from SmackDown

Oh, oh Shawn!

The Heartbreak Kid makes his way to the ring – and he gets the old disco ball lighting that he had back in the day when he gets there.

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

The World Heavyweight Champion will face Edge at WrestleMania, but tonight we’re getting a rematch of one of yours truly’s favorite matches to have seen live, and that’s NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Shawn Michaels def. Chris Jericho in a WrestleMania XIX Rewind Match

I drove 3000 miles across the United States to get to Safeco Field in Seattle back in 2003 for WrestleMania XIX.  There are two matches I distinctly remember from the show – Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship, and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho.  If you’ve never seen HBK and Y2J’s WrestleMania match, I implore you to find it as soon as you’re done reading this review.  These guys also had a hell of a rivalry a couple years back which led to numerous MOTY candidates as well.  This match is pretty awesome as well.  Lots of back and forth action.  Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but HBK gets his knees up.  HBK climbs to the top and delivers the flying elbow.  He starts to tune up the band, but Jericho bails.  Rather than get hit with Sweet Chin Music, Jericho takes the count-out loss.

It’s not HBK’s music that plays after this match – it’s Edge’s.  Edge attacks Jericho on the stage, and battles him all the way to the ring.  Guess what happens next?  That’s right.  Spear!  Edge grabs a microphone, and only utters that one word that’s been haunting Jericho for the past month – “spear.”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Last week, Legacy defeated Randy Orton in a handicap match.  It’s official – at WrestleMania, it will be Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase in a triple threat match.

Orton is backstage taping his wrists when that tool, Josh Matthews, barges into his locker room and asks him if the announcement of the triple threat match takes the focus off of his match with Triple H tonight.  Orton says as much as he hates Triple H, he respects him.  He doesn’t respect Rhodes and DiBiase.  The triple threat is no threat, because without him, Rhodes and DiBiase are absolutely nothing.

The Game is walking backstage, his match is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The clocks changed here in the States over the weekend, so if you forgot and you think it’s just now 9PM, let’s review.  John Cena lost to The Big Show thanks to Batista earlier in the night.  Apparently, that’s all that happened, because that’s all Lawler and Cole have to talk about.

It’s time to play the game….

Triple H is the first one out for this match, which sort of surprises me, actually.  Next time you’re watching RAW and Triple H comes out, pay attention to the ring apron – it looks pretty cool with the lights going during The Game’s entrance.

I hear voices in my head…

The Viper is here.  I wonder if he was hanging out with The Rattlesnake in the back.  In the words of Kel Mitchell, awww, here it goes!

Randy Orton vs. Triple H in a WrestleMania 25 Rewind Match ends in a no contest

This match goes back and forth until it winds up outside, where Orton drops Triple H with the elevated DDT on the arena floor, sending us to a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to see Orton go for the RKO, but The Game avoids it, hitting Orton with a clothesline.  This match continues to be evenly contested, but after hotshotting Triple H over the top rope, The Game manages to hit a Pedigree.  That’s when Legacy hit the ring – and attack Triple H!

After disposing of The Game, DiBiase and Rhodes put the beatdown on Randy Orton.  Triple H gets back in the ring, but before he can get to Legacy, Sheamus comes from out of the crowd and nails him with a pump kick.  Legacy continue their assault on Orton on the outside of the ring, culminating in Rhodes hitting CrossRhodes on the floor while Sheamus stands over Triple H in the ring.  The young guns of the WWE stand tall over two veterans.

Batista is in action against Kofi Kingston, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2010: Gorgeous George will be inducted by his former wife, Betty Wagner.

Heads up guys – WrestleMania will be starting at 7PM.  We get a rundown of the card.

I WALK ALONE!

The WWE Champion is out first for his match, and I love the new minimalist entrance he’s been using for the past month or so.  His opponent tonight, Kofi Kingston, was highly rumored to have been qualifying for Money In The Bank tonight, but apparently that’s not going to happen.

Batista def. Kofi Kingston

Poor Kofi.  From a marquee feud with Randy Orton to being dominated by Batista.  Kingston does manage to get a few kicks in, but The Animal doesn’t allow him to gain too much momentum.  A Batista Bomb later, it’s over.

Up next it’s our main event – three men and a piece of paper!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Next Week: Pete Rose in the guest host.  Wonder if Kane will make an appearance.  Already made for next week, Randy Orton and Triple H take on Legacy and Sheamus.

Please welcome Bret “The Hitman” Hart!  Hart is still on cruches and he’s rocking a Calgary Hitmen jersey.  I would’ve marked out like a mofo if it were a New York/New Jersey Hitmen jersey.  Mr. McMahon’s got a swagger on his way to the ring, and he takes the time to mock Hart’s injury.  McMahon stares down Hart at the table, and Steve Austin hits the ring, and we’re ready for a contract signing!

Austin tells McMahon to sit.  McMahon obliges.  Austin’s got business to take care of first.  He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame last year, which he’s proud of, and this year, Stu Hart was supposed to go in this year, but McMahon decided that just because he can stop that from happening, he’s not.  Austin says that Stu Hart will be inducted this year.  McMahon says he doesn’t have a problem with that.  He then says that every member of the Hart family that ever stepped into the ring was a dysfunctional derelict.  If Bret doesn’t sign the contract, he’s a coward.  If he does, it’s iron clad, so no backing out.  Hart says he’d fight McMahon with two broken legs, and proposes a no holds barred match.  McMahon says “hell yeah.”  He goes on to say that it’s another case of Bret screwing Bret.  Hart looks over the contract and signs it.  McMahon hesitates, then signs.  Austin looks it over, and tells us it’s official.  Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon in a No Holds Barred match.  Austin is looking forward to seeing McMahon take the worst ass whipping of all time.  Austin goes to leave but stops at the top of the ramp.  He says he forgot to tell McMahon something.  Hell, he’ll let Bret tell him instead.  McMahon turns around to see Hart’s cast on the table.  Bret says he doesn’t need the crutch or the cast.  What he needed was McMahon to think he’s hurt.  He faked the injury and he’s 100%.  If McMahon tries to back out, Hart will sue.  For once, Vince screwed Vince!.  Hart decks him with the cast a few times before leaving, and sending RAW off the air for the evening.

My Thoughts: Pretty solid.  This is the best time of the year to be a WWE fan and tonight’s show is the proof.  The hard sell to WrestleMania is on!  I really like the direction they went with the Hart injury angle – I definitely didn’t see that one coming.  I’ll see you guys in a few hours with an iMPACT review!

We get a cold open for RAW – a damn cold open.  In fact, it’s freezing in here.  Did somebody turn the heat off?  No, wait – it’s just The Undertaker!  Undertaker made it to the ring before Hulk Hogan did on TNA – and Hogan didn’t have to climb any stairs.

Undertaker says that last week is symbolic of what HBK’s life has become.  Since he became number 17, his life has now got a dark cloud hanging over his head.  His obsession with getting rid of the cloud will cause him to pay the ultimate price – his storied career.  After WrestleMania, there will be no tomorrow.   There will be no victory.  Only the same dark cloud over his head for the rest of his life.  It brings Undertaker no joy in saying this, but the fact is, in three weeks, Shawn Michaels career will rest in…

Oh, oh, Shawn!

Shawn Michaels makes his way out on RAW – and Ric Flair and AJ Styles make their way out at the same time on iMPACT.  HBK says that Undertaker doesn’t get to finish his line.  For the last year, it’s been hanging over his head like a dark cloud.  He went to bed last week, angry and full of rage, but when he woke up, the cloud was gone.  He had an epiphany.  The reason he cost Undertaker the title at the Elimination Chamber is because he had no choice.  He had to.  Undertaker interfered in HBKs match last week, but he didn’t have to.  It occurs to HBK that for the first time, inside the Undertaker’s cold, black heart, exists fear.  Undertaker tells HBK to choose his words carefully.  HBK says fear – because Undertaker is the only one who knows how close HBK came to ending it all for him last year.  That’s why he asked HBK to put his career on the line.  He thought he could intimidate Michaels, but he can’t.  HBK wouldn’t risk everything if he didn’t know he can beat The Undertaker.  Nobody lives a perfect life.  Nothing lasts forever (even cold November rain), and Shawn’s going to prove it.  Undertaker wonders if HBK is full of confidence or desperation.  HBK isn’t desperate.  Last year he’d have taken anything to have his hand raised in victory.  Not this year.  Not with so much on the line.  That’s why he proposes no countouts, no disqualifications, only pinfall or submission.  HBK is going to kick Undertaker’s teeth down his throat, and he’s going to beat him.  Undertaker says so it shall be.  HBK has chosen his own demise.  He can look in Shawn’s eyes and see the fire, passion and the will.  He can look into Michaels’ soul and see that he honestly thinks he can defeat him at WrestleMania.  That’s what makes him the Showstopper, the Main Event.  Hell, Mr. WrestleMania.  Undertaker says not this year.  In Undertaker’s opinion, HBK may be the greatest to ever step foot in the ring, but on March 28th, he’ll open the gates of hell and unleash a fury that no mortal man has ever seen to make sure that at WrestleMania, HBK’s career is over.  HBK tells him to keep telling himself that.  After WrestleMania, the dark cloud will come back, but it will hang over The Undertaker.  It will follow him wherever he goes, and inside this dark cloud is an image that will haunt him for the rest of his life – the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels ending his WrestleMania undefeated streak.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@x_tialicia  If Criss Angel isn’t gonna make John Cena disappear then what’s the point of watching #RAW tonight? #wwe #BWFWWE

@NiKiharu Yeah, you can kiss my grits, Taker. SHAWN FUCKIN’ MICHAELS IS GONNA WIN! #BWFWWE

WWE is trying to keep viewers by throwing the Divas out there.  Yeah, that’s gonna help.

Gail Kim, Eve, and Kelly Kelly def. Alicia Fox, Maryse, and Katie Lea Burchill

I hate these multi-diva clusterfucks.  Seriously.  It’s still better than watching commercials over on Spike TV though.  Eve won with an armbar, or some shit like that.

Later Tonight: Something to do with Sheamus and Triple H, and Criss Angel does somethingorother.

Speaking of Criss Angel, he’s backstage with Hornswoggle when the Bella Twins come in and start hitting on him.  He says he doesn’t use twins.  He takes a piece of thread from one of them, and puts it in his mouth then pulls it out of his eye.  Yay.  Lame magic tricks.  And lame singing Divas wanting to be magic assistants.  Jillian comes in and sings Aerosmith’s “Angel.”  He says something and she runs away.

Up next: ShoMiz takes on John Morrison and R-Truth in a WrestleMania preview.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@Jess1186 Diva wrestling…. oh yay… #BWFWWE

@ZigglerForever  Miz, JoMo, Criss Angel, DiBiase, AND Orton? Hell yes. #wwe

This past Friday: The Hart Dynasty jobbed again.

Wellllllllll…. AWESOME!

The Big Show and The Miz, collectively known as The Unified WWE Tag Team Champions ShoMiz make their way to the ring.  Miz reminds us that John Morrison and R-Truth earned the rights to face them at WrestleMania.  Earned it?  Really?  Not since The British Bulldog and Lex Luger bored millions at WrestleMania XI have a team been less deserving.  ShoMiz would rather face The Bushwhackers.  Shame on us for not realizing what’s standing before us.  Precious commodities.  Endangered species.  They’re the last truly great tag team in the WWE.

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe… WHAT’S UP!?!

Random team #98635972304820934 make their way to the ring, and they’re getting to face the Unified Tag Team Champions a few weeks before WrestleMania.

John Morrison & R-Truth vs. ShoMiz

Um.  I thought the Divas match was a clusterf*(#, this one didn’t even start before it ended.  It’s a brawl.

Morrison says they’re a real team, they just showed ShoMiz.  Truth says “that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

Still to come: Randy Orton vs. Legacy, and Vince McMahon takes on John Cena.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@SadieandRISE  Interesting 35 second match with ShoMiz and R-Truth/Morrison. What the heck was that supposed to prove? #WWE #BWFWWE

@_ChantelleBrown  Morrison > TNA Just saying lol #WWE

WrestleMania XXVI:  20 Days Away!

Video: John Cena’s recent history with Batista.

Josh Matthews is a tool, and he’s standing by with John Cena.  Batista left him speechless last week.  Cena says Batista’s right.  He can’t beat him.  He’s taken Cena’s titles, broken his neck, left him for dead.  Cena says that Batista has his number.  The only thing he can do is go out and beat him.  Matthews asks if he thinks Batista will get involved in his match tonight.  Cena’s counting on it.

Backstage: Evan Bourne is thanking Criss Angel for something.  Skip Sheffield comes in and introduces himself to Angel.  Regal says he’ll see Bourne in the ring.  Sheffield begs to see a mind trick.  Angel has him write a number down.  He writes 56.  Angel goes through a bunch of bullcrap, and winds up picking 56 in the end.  Sheffield tells Regal he owes him a Travis Tritt cd.

Video: Cody Rhodes helps Ted DiBiase eliminate Randy Orton at the Elimination Chamber.

It’s a new day…

But it’s the same old Randy Orton.  He jumps Legacy from behind on their way to the ring.  Apparently the match is still on though, and it’s NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@WrestLOLmania  CONGRATULATIONS RANDY ORTON! 1 YEAR WITHOUT WEARING PANTS! #WWE #RAW

@mpaul82 Randy Orton is the shit… nobody better right now #wwe

Legacy def. Randy Orton

Orton starts off on the offense.  Legacy can’t get out of the box, but with the referee distracted by Rhodes, DiBiase gets a cheap shot in, and Legacy turn the tide.  Orton dumps Rhodes to the outside, and DiBiase tries to sneak up on him, but Orton turns to see him coming.  DiBiase backs out of the ring, and we back into a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@Spydor2003  #bwf  tna no sorry money hogan vs money mcmahon the bigger company wins.

@Miss_KimberleyJ  So tired, but I WILL stay awake so see Sheamus!! Commercials..please go fuck yourself!! >:( #WWE #RAW

I just saw RVD pin Sting on TNA – but I’m a WWE guy through thick and thin.

Legacy are in control of this match when we come back and it looks as though there’s no hope for Orton in this one.  DiBiase stays one step ahead of Orton, literally, running behind Orton and clotheslining him down.  Gorilla Monsoon would be proud of the former World Tag Team Champions, as they use frequent tags to keep a fresh man in the ring, but Orton finally gets a second wind and mounts a comeback.  Orton looks up at the WrestleMania sign and then sets up for the RKO.  Rhodes tries to stop him and provides enough of a distraction to allow DiBiase to drop Orton with DreamStreet for the victory!

After the match, Rhodes nails Orton with the CrossRhodes for good measure.  Legacy do Orton’s pose to mock him.

Batista is watching backstage when that tool Josh Matthews comes in and asks about what Cena said earlier.  Batista says that Cena is paranoid.  Batista gives his word as WWE Champion that he won’t get involved tonight.  He tells Matthews that if he sees Cena to tell him good luck.

Still to come: Vince McMahon takes on John Cena.

Triple H is walking backstage.  He’ll be babbling on, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@dreamxstreet16  Yeah!! That’s what I’m talking about!! @TDiBiaseMarine2  and Cody!!! My boys!!! #WWE

@dasharpshooters: Batista was watching TNA on that tv #wwe

It’s time to play the game…. TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

Hmm.  Triple H is on RAW, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Shawn Waltman are on iMPACT.  The Cliq have taken over Monday Nights!

Triple H says he respects what Sheamus did last week.  If some guy beat him up, gave him a concussion, and humiliated him, he’d want to make a statement too…

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man could wind up dead…

Sheamus wastes no time heading to the ring and doesn’t take his eyes off of The Game.  Sheamus says he’ll make a statement at WrestleMania if Triple H has the guts.  Does Triple H have the guts?  Sheamus has had a hell of a first year, but he’d never been to the big dance.  He’s never been to WrestleMania.  Sheamus knows as well as Triple H, until he makes a statement at WrestleMania, his accomplishments mean nothing.  Triple H used to be undefeated, and he was going to make a name for himself at WrestleMania, but you know what happened?  He got crushed.  Then he had to dig his way out from the hole that left him in until he became the guy.  A lot of guys tried, a few succeeded, and the ones who have beaten him at WrestleMania have gone on to another level.  Ask Cena, ask Batista.  That’s the short list.  The rest of them lost and went back into obscurity.  Sheamus has to be willing to lay it all on the line.  All or nothing.  He’s got one shot at being immortal at WrestleMania or being nothing.  It’s a to think about.  Before Sheamus takes that gamble, he’d better be sure.  Sheamus backs up, then swings at Triple H, but The Game catches blocks it and clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring.  Not content to be upstaged, Sheamus pulls Triple H out of the ring and the brawl continues on the outside.  Sheamus tries to get out of Dodge but Triple H won’t let him.  Sheamus then turns the tide, bouncing Triple H’s head off the announce table.  Back in the ring, Triple H hits a spinebuster and Sheamus takes off.

Backstage: Santino talks about great Italian magicians, like Ralph Macchio disappearing after the Karate Kid.  Santino does the severed thumb trick.  Criss Angel has four empty cups.  He has a sushi knife, and he wants Santino to hid it under one of the cups.  Santino tries to cheat a little bit.  Angel crushes the first cup.  Then a second one.  He’s got a 50/50 chance of stabbing himself through the hand, but he picks the right cup, and sadly, we have to deal with more lame magic tricks for the rest of the show.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@JonHexLives  Where is Ralph Macchio? #Santino #WWE #Raw

@benjirino  There’s a reason guys like Shawn Michaels, Triple H, John Cena and Batista rule #wwe #raw, and in #wrestlemania season we understand why

Apparently, “Be Yourself” by Audioslave must be a theme for WrestleMania this year, since they’re playing it while talking about Money In The Bank.

Christian and Heath Slater are joining on commentary.  Evan Bourne gets a full entrance, and I’m begging WWE to let him win this match.  You don’t need him to win Money In The Bank, as long as he’s in it, the awesomeness level in the match will go way up.  Skip Sheffield accompanies William Regal to the ring and we’re set for action!

Evan Bourne def. William Regal to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match

Dear WWE.  I’d like to watch the match.  Please keep the camera in the ring and not on Christian.  Regal dominates early on, using his power advantage, but Bourne uses his quickness.  He gets a knee up into Regal’s face and hits the SSP for the victory – Evan Bourne is going to WrestleMania!

Still to come: Mr. McMahon takes on John Cena

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@coreysantiago  Looking at all the participants in the Money in the Bank Christian is by far the favorite. If he doesn’t win then its a big shock. #WWE #RAW

@john_grimaldi  #WWE  good to see @findevan get a TV win and a Wrestlemania opportunity

WrestleMania Recall: Goldberg and Brock Lesnar get booed – and then Stunned – the hell out of the WWE.  Actually, out of pro wrestling in general.

We get a rundown of the WrestleMania XXVI card.

Video: The recent history between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon.

Mr. McMahon is headed to the ring.  He’ll face John Cena – NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@reilly21106  Just want to say that I love how Wrestlemania is almost all singles matches this year, it’s rare and I love it. #WWE

@idoliseisaiahx: I’m so mad that Vince McMahon just called Bret Hart an old fossil when he’s 18 years older than him. #smh. #WWE  #Raw

Next Week: Stone Cold Steve Austin guest hosts as we have WrestleMania Rewind week.  Three WrestleMania  rematches are announced – John Cena vs. The Big Show (the opening contest from WrestleMania XX), Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (a show stealing match from WrestleMania XIX), and Triple H vs. Randy Orton (a rematch from last year’s WrestleMania).

Criss Angel announced the main event of the evening…

BRRRRRRRRAPPLEJUICE!

John Cena made his way out first for this match, and we soon found out why.  Mr. McMahon came out and announced that this match is now a handicap gauntlet match.  McMahon’s first partner is the seldom seen Vladimir Kozlov.

Kozlov took down Cena and tagged in McMahon, who couldn’t get the three count.  He brought out his next partner, WWE Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre, who did more damage before tagging in McMahon, who once again scored two.  McMahon brought out Jack Swagger, and that brought out a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Swagger can’t get the job done, so McMahon brings out a reluctant Mark Henry.  When Henry can’t get the job done, McMahon announces that this is a No DQ match and tries to use the bell.  Henry tries to stop him.  McMahon orders Henry to use the bell on Cena, but The World’s Strongest Man refuses.  Batista shows up and Henry eats a Spear for his trouble.  Kofi Kingston shows up and tries to help out Cena, but he’s Batista Bombed away.  Cena takes out Batista, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment on Mr. McMahon, but Batista returns and spears him, then hits a Batista Bomb.  McMahon makes the cover and picks up the victory.  McMahon leaves, and RAW goes off the air with Batista standing over a fallen Cena.

My thoughts: RAW was pretty good tonight.  We got the hard sell for WrestleMania, and everything they did, at least in my opinion thusfar (read:  without seeing TNA’s show yet), should have kept most viewers attention away from iMPACT.  Of course, there are a lot of people out there who will disagree with me.  In fact, I’d venture to say we may hear from some of them during the iMPACT review, which with any luck will be up in a few hours (after I obtain a copy of the show and write the review).

Show opens with PPV Highlights.
The New World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho comes out and says
He`s going to Wrestlemania.He proudly brags about beating the
Undertaker & becoming Champion.Then the Royal Rumble Winner Edge comes
out through the crowd & Spears Jericho & says He`s going to challenge
Jericho at Wrestlemania for the World Heavyweight Title.
Next comes John Cena.Cena compares himself to Bret Hart on the list of
people Vince has screwed over.Cena challenges Batista to a rematch
tonight on Raw & out comes  a Proud Vince Mcmahon talking about his
deal with Batista.He admits to giving Batista a WWE title shot anytime
he wanted it.McMahon claims his hands are clean of it & Batista will
defend his WWE Title at Wrestlemania against either John Cena or
Sheamus.Later tonight 1 on 1 John Cena vs Batista.If Cena wins he goes
to Wrestlemania.If he loses Sheamus gets the match at Wrestlemania.
Divas Title Final
Maryse vs Gail Kim.
Crowd could care less about this match.Gail Kim went for sevweral
quick,near falls.Maryse did the typical hair pulling.Maryse did her
DDT Finisher & pins Gail Kim for the win & becomes Divas Champion for
a 2nd time.Yet again another short Divas Match.
Backstage Eve,Kelly Kelly,The Bella Twins are with the Guest Hosts
Jewel & Ty Murray.In walks Alicia Fox & Jillian Hall.Jillians horrible
singing gets her slapped again.This time by Jewel.Jillian goes away
saying “Why does everyone slap me?”
Again in the back Randy Orton & Cody Rhodes starts talking about Ted
saying he was going to beat Orton in the chamber at the PPV last
night.Legacy will be in action tonight in a 6 man tag match.Ted walks
up to Cody & asks him if he`s going to stick with their plan.
Up Next 6 Man Tag Match between Kofi Kingston,Yoshi Tatsu,Evan Bourne
Vs Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes,Ted Dibiase.
Yoshi & Dibiase start the match.Yoshi tags in Bourne.Ted quick tags
Rhodes.Evan flys around the ring.Why isnt He being used more?Cody Back
Slams Bourne & goes for a pin only for a 2 count.Bourne & DiBiase now
legal both are down trying to get to their corners to tag.Bourne tags
Kofi.Now Kofi & Orton are now legal.Orton slams Kofi.Orton gives Kofi
his Backbreaker.Cody tags himself in.Orton grabs Cody & DDT`s him &
Orton RKO`s Ted outside the ring.Evan Bourne goes up top to give a
well done Airbourne to Cody for the win.
Michaels & Undertaker highlight package.Michaels calls out Undertaker
& challenges Him again to a Wrestlemania Match.Undertaker accepts on 1
condition that this Year Michaels puts his Career on the Line.Michaels
accepts.This year it`ll be The Streak vs Michaels Career.
1st Money In The Bank Quailifier Christian vs Carlito
Match starts & Carlito goes for a quick pin for a 2 count.Christian
Missile Dropkicks Carlito attempts a pin only for a 2 count.Christian
gets Carlito in the Killswitch for the 3 count & is the 1st to
Quailify for Money In The Bank.
Worthless segment of the night the Divas Bull riding contest.Eve is up
1st & makes it the 8 seconds.Up next is Kelly Kelly & she makes it the
8 seconds.Next up the Bella twins who ride together & make it the 8
seconds.The crowd never gets into this contest.It`s interupted by
ShowMiz.Ty Murray challenges Big Show to ride the bull.Big Show gets
on & lasts 3 seconds.The Bull taunts Big Show & Show knocks out the
mechanical bull.
Unified Tag Title Match Between Big Show & The Miz Vs MVP &Mark Henry
Miz & MVP start the match.Miz tags in Big Show.Show beats up MVP.MVP
tags in Mark Henry.Show & Henry go back & forth.Then Show knocks out
Henry to win & retain the Unified Tag Titles.
Newest Hall Of Fame Inductee Wendi Richter.
Vince invites Bret Hart to come back to Raw next week for a proper farewell.
NXT Promo for tomorrow.
Next Weeks Hosts Cheech & Chong.Also next week Randy Orton Vs Ted DiBiase.
The Main Event tonight John Cena Vs Batista.If Cena wins he gets the
Wrestlemania match against Batista.If he loses Sheamus gets the
match.Loud Cheer from the crowd for John Cena.Batista finally comes
out to a dead crowd.The match finally starts this is going to be
short.Batista Low Blows Cena.Cena wins by Dq.Batista beats Cena down
afterwards.Batista`s late entrance took longer then the match.Batista
leaves the ring after beating Cena down & sees him get up & comes back
to the ring to finish Cena.They fight outside the ring.Batista beats
Cena down again & leaves.Cena gets back up & Batista comes back down
again & gets a chair & hits Cena several times.Cena finally stays down
& The show goes off with Cena down & Batista up the ramp posing.
I really enjoyed doing this.
Thanks,
Ashley Finch(nascardiva9)

Though this contest will be contested under Extreme Rules, it will be nothing like the ECW matches that took place under the watch of Paul Heyman.  An independent wrestling promotion that dug and clawed it’s way up from late night showings in the Philadelphia market to become a viable number three (and some would argue number two) promotion in the United States, ECW was a victim of it’s own success.  Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff started to notice ECW, and started to buy up the promotion’s top stars.  Heyman couldn’t afford to keep his stars paid and ultimately, ECW closed it’s doors in 2001.

The WWE bought the rights to the promotion, and in 2004 released “The Rise and Fall of ECW” on DVD.  The success of that release, and a suggestion from Rob Van Dam, led to a WWE produced ECW Pay Per View titled “One Night Stand” in 2005.  Several performers from ECW’s past participated in the event, which was a success for World Wrestling Entertainment.  By the time the company put on a followup in 2006, the decision had been made to bring ECW back as a brand of the WWE along with RAW and SmackDown, and at One Night Stand 2006, Rob Van Dam defeated John Cena for the WWE Championship.  Two nights later, he was given the ECW Championship on the first edition of ECW on SciFi.

By December, Paul Heyman was released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract following the failed “December to Dismember” Pay Per View, and from there, the brand started to evolve into what we’ve been seeing on SyFy every Tuesday night, which is a far cry from the gift that Todd Gordon and Paul Heyman gave the world in the mid 90′s.  Tonight, the show will air for the last time, and the letters E-C-W will finally be able to R.I.P.

Video: The recent history between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon.

Time to Burn It To The Ground – Kinda like a Great White concert.

Tonight, a triple threat match for the Unified Tag Team Championships, but you knew that, and if you missed SmackDown like I did, there’s “exclusive” footage of what happened after RAW last week.

Carl Edwards is doing donuts in the parking lot.  Kinda like Kyle Busch and Joey Lagano did in Buffalo back in October.  Then he dries into the arena.  Kinda like Kyle Busch and Joey Lagano did back in October.  Except it’s not him getting out of the car – it’s Hornswoggle!  Kelly Kelly introduces Carl Edwards, who comes out from backstage with the Bella Twins.  His theme for the night is “Rise Up” by Cypress Hill, which is available April 6th.  Edwards does a backflip off of the top rope, and welcomes us to Monday Night RAW, which started 7 minutes ago.  He gets a cheap pop by mentioning the Sants Super Bowl win, which starts a “Who Dat?” chant.  He then plugs the Daytona 500, which is next Sunday at 1PM.  He mentions Lagano and Busch, who apparently showed us how charismatic and eloquent NASCAR drivers can be.  But Edwards has a friend in the WWE, and his name is John Cena.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

The WWE Champion doesn’t want to hear about John Cena.  Neither do I, so thank you Sheamus.  Sheamus says his Super Bowl is in 7 weeks at WrestleMania, and he plans on walking in as WWE Champion, meaning he has to win the Elimination Chamber.  He demands that he’s made the last participant in the Chamber match.  Sheamus doesn’t want any favors done for John Cena just because he got beat up by Batista last week.  Edwards isn’t just a guest host of RAW, he’s a guest on Sheamus’ show.  If he doesn’t listen to Sheamus, he won’t make it to Daytona.

GO!  If you close your eyes, your life, a naked truth revealed…

The ECW Champion, Christian has arrived on the scene here on Monday Night RAW!  He introduces himself to Carl Edwards, and talks about how huge NASCAR is getting in Canada, making him happy they were denied a WNBA franchise.  Sheamus protests Christian’s presence.  Christian complains that Edge said he’d face Sheamus or The Undertaker, and he got offended as the ECW Champion.  Christian mentions that ECW is going off the air anyway.  Sheamus says that Christian is a lame duck Champion.  Christian calls him Snaggletooth and says he’s lame.  Christian wants to know if Sheamus runs out of money by the time he gets to the tanning salon.  Sheamus wants to know if Christian is here to make jokes, but the funny thing is he’ll be unemployed.  Christian says that in two weeks, every ECW Superstar becomes a free agent, and can go to whatever show they want, and he thinks that his peeps on RAW miss him.  So he thought he’d challenge Sheamus to a match tonight.  Edwards says to get a referee down here, we’ve got ourselves a match!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@robbyfischer  A good kickoff match! Sheamus vs Christian… I wonder if it’ll go to a fall. Or better, a CLEAN fall with no DQ breaking the match up #BWF

@thefoldingchair of course #WWE hooks every guest host up w/ the Bella Prostitutes #WWE

@fastcount123 So now I guess we know what’s gonna happen to all the old #ECW wrestlers. #WWE

@jenrae73 Christian looks orange compared to Sheamus #Justsayin #Raw

Sheamus def. Christian

This match actually started before the commercial, but nothing really happened.  Sheamus is in control when we come back, but Christian starts to battle back, managing to send Sheamus over the top rope and to the floor, then diving onto him from the second rope as Captain Charisma often does.  Sheamus doesn’t allow Christian to keep the advantage for too long, ramming Christian’s arm into the post and then capitalizing.  Christian finally manages to battle back, still favoring his arm, but Sheamus nails a clothesline after missing a Pump Kick.  Christian hits his see-saw kick in the corner but only pulls off a two count.  The fans get behind Christian, but Sheamus avoids the Killswitch, then takes advantage of the injured shoulder and Pump Kicks Christian in the face, then hitting the Celtic Cross (not to be confused with Finlay’s move of the same name), and picks up the victory.

Backstage, DX has just seen what Sheamus can do on a monitor.  HBK tells Triple H that he knows he’d been a little distracted, but there’s always a silver lining and a light after the darkness.  DX have never been to WrestleMania.  Maybe this year.  Triple H says that he qualified for the Elimination Chamber, and while it sounds great to go to ‘Mania with DX, he’s going to win the Elimination Chamber and go to WrestleMania as the WWE Champion.  HBK asks if it’s all about him now, and walks away.

Up next, exclusive footage – that was exclusive to SmackDown last week.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@millersrq  Up against shamus Christian looks a bit orange almost like an umpalumpa tone #raw #wwe  #bwf

@dasharpshooters  Goldust kicked Sheamus ass STOP IGNORING IT VINCE! #wwe #raw  #bwf

@WellYoureWrong Everytime I see the Chamber, I want to make cookies #wwe

@coreysantiago I’m so confused on wut WWE is gunna do wit HHH/HBK 4 WrestleMania.

Last Week: Batista attacked Bret Hart and let Mr. McMahon spit in the Hitman’s face.

Bret’s banned from the arena tonight, and after RAW last Monday…

Video: John Cena came to help Bret Hart up, and Batista destroyed him.

Backstage, Cody Rhodes asks Ted DiBiase if he’s proud of himself for qualifying for the Elimination Chamber.  DiBiase beat Mark Henry.  Rhodes complains that he had to face John Cena.  DiBiase says he’s better than Rhodes.  Orton interrupts.  Does he think he’s better than Randy?  We’ll find out at the Elimination Chamber, but we can test Cody’s theory tonight, because Ted is facing John Cena tonight.  Orton tells Rhodes he knows he meant well at the Royal Rumble, oh, and by the way, he’ll be facing Randy Orton tonight!

CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Serena are walking backstage – tag title action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (Love him or hate him, you’re tweeting about him edtion)>

@DSmithImages  If CM Punk doesn’t rip this Louisiana crowd for the debauchery of the Super Bowl celebration, I’ll be very disappointed. #RAW #WWE

@andypeck13  yes! CM Punk  is on raw next!

@LucyAshtrayGirl  I’m going to hug my CM  Punk bear while they win the Unified Tag team Belts

@ambey08 YAY MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!! ♥ Really hope CM Punk gets his ass kicked tonight

@diamondkorbel  Yo wtf? CM Punk  needs to stay on his show, he’s making raw lame when he shouldn’t even be on there.

@SadieandSAFE  If DX drops the title tonight to CM Jebus and Co I’ll probably cry. I’d rather suffer through @MiketheMiz  talking than CMGallows.. #WWE #BWF

Lawler plugs the Diva’s Valentine’s Day photo shoot.

The Straight Edge Society make their way out as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler tell us that tonight’s SmackDown show in Baton Rouge has been rescheduled for tomorrow night.

Punk says it doesn’t surprise him when this section of the country turn to drugs and alcohol when there are hard times, and it doesn’t surprise him that they turn to it when they have something to celebrate, like their little football game.  Punk says that though this region of the country is said to be unsavable, tonight, Punk and Gallows will win the titles and prove that Straight Edge means they’re better than you.  Punk says they’re going to save somebody tonight.  Jared from Subway.  Seriously.  He reminds Punk of himself, because he preaches to millions and they follow in his footsteps.  The Society is looking for a minister of propaganda, and while he’s a great spokesman for Subway, he’ll make a much better spokesman for the Straight Edge society.  Jared says no.  Punk says he’ll make an example out of him.  Gallows and Serena go to get Jared, but…

Are You Ready?

I'M READY!

DX make their way to the ring and do their usual entrance – though HBK doesn’t seem to be that enthusiastic about it.

The Miz and The Big Show don’t get the JeriShow treatment with their entrance yet.  Show was fined for knocking out the referee last week.

MizShow def. Straight Edge Society & DX to win the Unified Tag Team Championship

This one kicks off before the bell, and as a matter of fact, the bell doesn’t even ring before the…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@DCsPeoplesChamp  Good to see Festus with a legit gimmick instead of being a redneck tard….#justsayin #bwf

@SamGavin Quote of the Day: “Luke, Serena…go get me Jared from Subway.” — CM Punk. lol.

@TheNoodleHippo @Mikethemiz is hot and awesome

@TuningUpTheBand SHAWN. Really. I’m so disappointed.

@TehSmoshKidKris Let’s go DX!

@Krystlelynn218 Miz is so freakin awesome!! hate if u need 2!!

The King tells us that this is a three-way elimination match, as Teddy Long watches from ringside.  All three teams, apparently, can have a member in the ring at once, as opposed to a typical triple threat tag match where it’s two at a time.  Big Show dominates, and Luke Gallows almost looks like his mini-me.  Triple H goes for a Pedigree on Show, but gets backdropped over the top rope for his trouble.  And we’re going to another…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (What is this, TNA?  edition)>

@kickoutblog  WTF? They just went to commercial!

@AlyKat_730 Hey, WWE… Stop putting commercials up every couple of minutes. Let’s get through a whole match uninterrupted, thanks. -_-

@joyceloveswwe  Another commercial  WWE!? REALLY!??!

@fastcount123  What the frak w/ all these commercial breaks! #WWE

Back from the break, The Miz, CM Punk, and Triple H are in for their teams.  The Game manages to get the upper hand, much to the chagrin of Teddy Long.  Triple H gets taken out, however, and it’s down to Miz and Punk in the ring.  Serena pulls The Miz off the apron, sending him face first into it.  He chases her but gets a spinebuster on the outside from The Game.  Triple H manages to tag in HBK, and he goes on the offense.  He refrains from kipping up.  HBK hits a top rope elbow on Punk.  Gallows clotheslines HBK.  Punk goes for the GTS, but HBK hits Sweet Chin Music and sends the Straight Edge Society back to SmackDown!

Straight Edge Society eliminated.

With Punk and Gallows gone, The Big Show goes on the offense.  HBK tries to battle back with right hands, to no avail, but finally causes some separation by booting a charging Big Show in the face – twice.  Show manages to catch him, however, and hits a side slam on HBK for two.  He tags in The Miz, who continues the offense.  Even when HBK starts to battle back, The Miz maintains the advantage.  He goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but HBK battles out.  Big Show gets the tag in before HBK can get to Triple H.  HBK hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere, but Show gets to The Miz.  HBK gets the hot tag to Triple H, and The Game turns the momentum into DX’s favor.  He hits the facebuster, then the spinebuster on The Miz, and HBK tags himself in.  The Miz rams HBK into Triple H and rolls him up for the victory!  New Tag Team Champions!

Triple H looks disappointed as he glares at Shawn Michaels from across the ring.  Triple H tells him he screwed up, and HBK tells him “don’t tell me what I did!”  HBK walks away.

Still to come tonight, John Cena vs. Ted DiBiase, and Randy Orton takes on Cody Rhodes!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@legendkiller515  diddent see that comming #bwf even cole had to say oh my god

@B_alpha_male  They need to get the titles off DX. They dont need them. #wwe #raw #bwf

@cmpg HHH just told 2 large bald men to “suck it”… no wonder @SerenaDeeb  shaved her head #RAW #BWF

@MissieBird like SNL “skit…break…skit…break”

Before the break: DX lost the Tag Team Championship.

Miz and Big Show brag about winning, and Miz says they’re the MizShow, and they’re awesome!  Big Show says he prefers ShowMiz, y’know, like Showbiz?  Miz agrees.

We get a rundown of the Elimination Chamber card.

HBK is walking backstage, wondering where somebody is.  He finds Teddy Long, and asks him to trade him to SmackDown.  Long asks about DX, HBK says he doesn’t care.  Trade him to SmackDown, put him in the Elimination Chamber, HBK will win and give The Undertaker his rematch at WrestleMania.  Long says he’d love to have him, but the SmackDown Chamber match is set.  He can’t change it, the people in there earned it.  HBK tells him that he can and he will.  Triple H asks if he’s willing to throw DX and his career away.  HBK says his career is over, and he superkicks Teddy Long, then walks away.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@gcode42o Superkicks for everybody

@EdgyBoo247 Hhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahah Sweet Chin Music Miss EdgyBoo approves of this and soon HBK heel

@2mividaloca WHOA!!! Micheals is pissed!! Poor Teddy!!

@NickEdge HBK going Heel? I think the creative team is on Coke

@xSmootx #RAW Aaaaaaaaand that’s why Teddy wasn’t wearing glasses. “SEE!? I JUST KICKED TEDDY!!!!” “CALM DOWN SHAWN…”

WWE Rewind: Gail Kim beat Alicia Fox two weeks ago.  Good for her!

Moments Ago: HBK Superkicked Teddy Long, as if you couldn’t tell from the tweets…

Gail Kim def. Jillian

Nobody gets any entrances, and Maryse is on commentary.  Even WWE doesn’t care about the Divas.  Maryse says that the Piggy James crap was embarassing.  Gail Kim wins this one in a matter of moments.

Maryse congratulates Gail Kim.  Says she’s a big fan.  She’s looking forward to their match in two weeks, and she wants to have the best match of her life with her.  She then babbles in French.  I need to get Rosetta Stone to cover some of these wrestling programs.  Maryse shakes Gail’s hand and says “may the best girl win.”

2010 Hall of Fame Inductee: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Money, money, money, money, moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!  The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase is our first inductee into the 2010 Hall of Fame.

Speaking of Ted DiBiase, his son, Ted DiBiase, will be in action against John Cena – but up next, it’s Randy Orton taking on Cody Rhodes!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Well folks, you know the drill by now.  I get stuck working Monday nights and have to leave before RAW ends.  Stepping up tonight to cover the rest of RAW is a familiar face around BWF, frequent guest hostess, Twitter’s @AlyKat_730!  Take it away, Aly!

We come back from the commercial break with that NASCAR guy… whose name I have already forgot hanging with Jared.  Then Santino comes up, and messes up the Jingle, as always.  OH YEAH! His name is Carl Edwards.  Anyway, Jared reminds us that you can go into any Subway and get a regular foot long for five bucks, and Jared gives Santino “free money in card form.”

Back to wrestling, Santino says that Jack Swagger should pay for eliminating him from the Royal Rumble.  Carl says that the match, Swagger vs Santino will happen on Superstars.  Kofi comes up to greet Carl, and Kofi reminds us that he’ll be in the Elimination Chamber match, and says he has a proposition: all six members of the Elimination Chamber match in random singles matches.  Next week, Jerry Springer will be hosting RAW.  And there’s a video package of Jerry Springer’s show.

Anyway, now it’s time for Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton!  We’re reminded that Cody interfered and cost Randy his chance at the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble.

It starts out and Cody seems to be apologizing again as Randy circles him.  Randy shoves Cody, and scolds Cody. Cody gets fed up and hits up, then hits Randy with a drop kick.  He goes for the cover, but Randy kicks out at two.  Randy ‘s pissed, and the two lock up, Cody turning it around and pushing Randy into a corner.  Randy hits him a couple of times, before Cody hits him with the side Russian leg sweep.  Then, Cody gets bounced off the ropes.

Randy slowly, methodically punches Cody a few times, getting him up on the top rope, where the two exchange blows.  Randy tries to go for the Superplex, but Cody knocks him off and went for a cross body, but Randy moved.  Randy lays there, but Sheamus comes in to interfere.  Cody hits the Cross Rhodes and pins Randy for the win.

Cody gets out of the ring, and Sheamus gets in.  Randy fumes about losing the match, and Sheamus gives him the ‘boot to the skull’, then goes to hit him again, but Cody climbs in the ring with a chair, to protect Randy.  There is a stare down between Cody and Sheamus for a few minutes, before we are reminded and shown what happened last week after RAW, where Batista attacked Cena.  You know, the same video package they showed us earlier in the night.  Next up, John Cena will take on Ted DiBiase… Jr.

We come back to Josh Matthews standing by with Carl Edwards saying that he’s going to leave his mark on RAW.  So, he tells us all that he’s going to let the Elimination Chamber matches go against one another in singles matches.  WWE Champion Sheamus vs Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase vs Kofi Kingston, and Triple H vs John Cena.  “The road to Wrestlemania is really heating up, so gentlemen? Start your engines.”

And now, it’s Ted DiBiase vs John Cena!  And, just because I smile every time I read it here, I get to do it now…

SHABADOO!!!!

John gets in the ring and immediately attacks Ted, throwing him out of the ring.  He then runs Ted right into the security wall.  Then he puts Ted in the STF, and Ted taps out (I think Jerry said ‘Rhodes’ here…), but the match hasn’t even started, so it doesn’t mean a thing.  Ted’s lying there like he’s passed out, and John looks upset.  So, John grabs a mic.

John says he didn’t come here to have a match and he’s not wasting no more time.  He calls out Batista, saying he doesn’t wanna know why he did it and that he can’t change it, and that he just wants to fight him.  And, apparently, Batista was sent to take John out.  It didn’t work, and Cena’s STILL HERE!  John then offers for Batista to come on out and finish the job.  He then says he’s not going anywhere until Batista comes out and finishes the job.  Then, we go to a commercial, because RAW is commercial happy tonight.

We come back to John talking immediately, saying that after such a big weekend, Batista won’t even come to RAW.  That means he’s either scared for his life, which he should be… But now that Cena thinks about it, maybe the attack was a business decision.  When Cena hears those words, he gets confuse-I mean, one person comes to mind: Vince McMahon.  He reminds us that he called Vince pathetic, and that since Vince doesn’t take too kindly to being embarrassed, it only makes sense that Batista would attack him.  Since he can’t fight Batista, he’d like to talk to Vince McMahon.

I’m not going to steal the next part and tell you all to look busy, but Vince does seem to be in a good mood.  Oh, goodie, and he’s brought security.  John looks to be struggling as he counts them. Sorry, I’m apparently in an insulting mood…

Vince then asks what Cena has to say.  Cena seems to not believe that there are ten security guards there, and says that it’s sad that Vince thinks ten security guards are enough to stop him, and next time he should come out with a tank.  Cena then puts up the ultimatum: come in the ring without them so they can talk, or send them in so Cena can take them out and get angrier, like Hulk!

Vince gets into the ring, alone.  Vince says that he is the ultimate, SUPREME! Alpha male.  The crowd disagrees.  Vince then says that when God created the heavens and the earth, He had Vince in mind instead of Adam.  He admits that he brought out Batista, and the reason is that he screwed Bret Hart again.  And he reminds us that he spit right in Bret’s face, and he says that it felt good.  He then claims he has nothing to do with Batista attacking John.  Then John asks if it was just a convenient attack, and why.  Vince says maybe it’s because John eliminated him in the Royal Rumble, or maybe he just doesn’t like John.  A lot of people don’t like John.  Vince doesn’t like John, or his shirts, or his GI Joe lookin’ jaw, or even the Louisiana crowd.  Business-wise, however, he likes John.

John then gets in his face and says that the people cheer for him and not Vince, because all Vince cares about is the money.  He says that Vince took a good guy like Batista and paid him off.  He says Vince does this for the money, and John does it because he loves it, and for the moment.  For moments like standing in the middle of Louisiana right after the Saints win the Superbowl and feel their energy.

He says he does it for moments when he can go to Wrestlemania, when it’s crunch time, and can hold up the WWE Championship, and that these people watch it for the moment! Oh, my bad, we people.  He says that Ted DiBiase gave his all for it, for the moment.  Hall of Famers like… Bret Hart.  Cena then says he talked to Bret last week, and Bret wants another moment.  Last week, Cena heard Bret say something he never thought he’d say again: He would like to wrestle another match.  Bret “The Hitman” Hart would like to wrestle another match at Wrestlemania, and he wants his opponent to be Vince McMahon.

Vince speaks again, and says that that is the one thing Bret doesn’t want.  John then says, “Yes… he does.”  Here is Vince’s moment, and the spotlight is on him.  The Chairman has a chance to have a Wrestlemania moment.  Yes? No? The money? or the moment?  And then John tries to walk off.  Vince stops him and says that he is about the money and about the moment.  He really doesn’t think that Bret wants any of him, and he thinks John is wrong.  John asks yes or no.  Bret wants to ‘dance’ with Vince at Wrestlemania 26.  Vince then gets sick of John talking and says yes, to his face.  John says well now, thanks for telling it to our faces, him, Louisiana, and the WWE Universe.  Now, he just has one more person to tell.

Vince says that he knows that Bret is in some igloo in Canada, freezing his toosh off, and reminds him that he doesn’t want any of it at Wrestlemania 26 because, maybe, he doesn’t wanna be embarrassed again like he was… last week?  Then, they go to the video package of last week, when Bret attacked Vince, and Batista held Bret, and Vince spit on Bret and… you all remember, I hope.  They’ve only showed it all week and all night.

Oh, it came back.  Vince says that is exactly why Bret Hart doesn’t want any of this.  Vince is interrupted by the crowd cheering, and Bret Hart comes in through the crowd!!  He starts wailing on Vince, but security comes up, so Bret takes them on and Vince walks away, up to the top of the ramp.  Vince then says that he changed his mind, and he says no to Wrestlemania, because Bret deserves to be screwed.  Of course, Bret started up the ramp with a steel chair, and Vince was saying the answer was now no because Bret deserved to be screwed.  Then, Bret walks up and starts destroying stuff, ripping out wires.  Sparks fly, literally, and Bret just stands there to listen to the crowd cheer for him for a minute before walking back to the ring.  Bret then walks over to the announce table and starts destroying their stuff, nearly hitting Jerry with a monitor before flipping the table over.  Then, finally, he climbs into the ring.

Finally, after a few minutes of just standing there in the ring, they play his music and he plays it up to the crowd a little bit.

Another explosive episode of RAW!! Thanks to the wonderful folks at BWF for letting me guest host again!!

Abe claims he hasn’t be around because NBC wanted him on the Tonight Show. He asks Tony if he knows why he turned down the job? “Because you’re not that good?”

Washington says he didn’t take it because of the WWE universe. So they owe him 40 million dollars.

Christian pulled out another win. Abe says he wants to be the first to congratulate him, and reminds everyone he’s the longest reigning champ in WWE. He talks about turning away all the challengers and looking for more challengers, but Ryder interrupts in.

He wants to talk about Hurricane getting into a brawl, in real life, last week and shows his mugshot. Christian wonders if he’s jealous cause Hurricane got on TMZ. Ryder mentions he was in the Rumble, Christian says that he must have blinked and missed it.

Christian says everyone makes mistakes. Tiffany giving Abe a talk show, him agreeing to be on Abe’s talkshow, Ryder thinking his hair looked good and hooking up with Tila Tequila.

Our opening match is Shelton Benjamin and Vance Archer. Matthews gives him a new nickname, the Gamebreaker. Vance starts with a shoulder to the gut, then Shelton powers him to the corner and starts pounding away till Archer takes a powder. Shelton comes over the top but when they go back in Archer gets a kick then a headlock. Archer tries a sleeper but gets back suplexed. Shelton dives at him, running down the steps but hits barricade.

Vance is working an armbar and hitting him in the ribs. During the break Archer threw Benjamin into the steps. Hard whip to the corner, that hits chest first. Archer with a vertical suplex. Back to the armbar. Shelton fights out, but runs into a side slam. Knee drop. And back to the armbar. Shelton gets out. Archer misses in the corner. Shelton runs him over. Shelton does some sort of leg DDT. Runs into an elbow, but turns a suplex into a neckbreaker. Roll up in the corner and Archer grabs the ropes for the win.

We get a replay of the Bret Hart situation and Smackdown will have footage from the post show brawl with Batista and Cena.

Next up we’ve got Yoshi Tatsu, accompanied by Goldust, he’s taking on Trent Baretta, who’s got Caylen Croft with him. Tatsu starts with an armbar. They do some running the ropes, Tatsu hits dropkick and an armdrag, back into an armbar. Tatsu is tossed but is in so quick he gets a spinning kick attempt. Baretta nails him. Euro uppercut in the corner and a choke. Dropkick. Rear chinlock. He does some weird thing where he releases it then slams his arm back into position hard. Tatsu backs him ino the corner. Trent gets boot up, but Tatsu with a backdrop. Yoshi gets a series of kicks and then the rolling snapmare, after some effort. Tatsu is caught going up top. Superplex blocked. Hurricanrana off the top by Baretta, Tatsu rolls through. Baretta rolls through that and gets two. He argues with the ref and turns around into a kick that he sells like death. Tatsu picks up the win.

Vince McMahon makes an announcement on the future of ECW next.

He struts out, mike in hand. Is he not even going into the ring for this? In three weeks time ECW will be going off the air. He wants to thank everyone who made ECW the success it was.

And who will make the next show the same success. He mentions the word evolution or evolve a couple of times.

Gregory Helms is in the ring. He welcomes Big Zeke and William Regal to the ring. Jackson is selling the announcement. He asks Jackson about his loss and how he’ll get past it. Regal asks if Helms has had a trying week. Helms says he has but he’s going to get past it. Regal says it’s about to get worse. They proceed to beat him down, till Christian comes out with a kendo stick and clears the ring.

Christian is still in the ring waiting for Ryder and the main event. Ryder with a headlock and a shoulderblock. Christian returns the favor. Ryder ducks between the ropes. Forearms and a kick to the head by Ryder. Choke on the ropes. Christian ducks his head and gets a forearm to the back then gets a spinning heel kick. Christian runs into Ryder’s guts but blocks a suplex. He slides under the ropes and yanks Ryder off the apron. Then hits baseball slide.

Ryder with a catapult into the bottom rope, then grabs a rear chinlock. Christian fights out. Rough Ryder by Ryder. Kick to the gut by Christian. Ryder catches him up top. He fights out and hits a flying crossbody. Running forearm. But he runs into an elbow. Christian wil a flapjack. Choke on the second rope, then he dives over the top and decks Ryder. Missle dropkick. Second rope sunset flip. Ryder sits down. Christian with a pendulum kick after dodging a corner charge. He hits the diving Euro uppercut and the Killswitch.

Jackson and Regal hit the ring and beat him down.

Kind of an off show tonight. The Abraham Washington show was pretty decent, and most of the in ring action was good. But a lot of the storyline stuff didn’t work.

Vince’s announcement that ECW was going off the air didn’t set off the shitstorm it should have and people quickly went back to business as usual. Couldn’t Christian have been shown looking longingly at his belt? He doesn’t know if he’ll be champ of whatever takes it’s place.

And the timing of Jackson’s run in actually made him look pretty weak. I’m disappointed we haven’t seen more of Kozlov trying to get revenge on the Roundtable.

- A video package runs focusing on various TNA stars and how their dream was to become a star in the world of professional wrestling. “This is who I am…this is what I do…” uttered the various TNA stars in the promo. The video package then focuses on tonight’s AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

- A graphic opening hits welcoming us to TNA Genesis. We go live to the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL where a series of pyro goes off above the ring and in the entrance area. Mike Tenay welcomes us to the show in what he dubbed the first TNA PPV of the “Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff era.”

- Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he makes his way out into the Impact Zone along with Eric Bischoff. They have gotten rid of the two entrance tunnels and simply have a big entrance area under a big tron. The ramp also connects to a new four-sided traditional ring as they are ditching the six-sided ring. We see a shot of Brooke Hogan cheering on her father in the crowd. Hogan gets on the mic and says, “Well guys I guess all there is to say is welcome to Genesis!” He says welcome to the brand new Impact Zone (which gets some boo’s). Hogan said he told everyone there would be change and everything would be moving and shaking. The crowd starts a loud “WE WANT SIX SIDES” chant. Hogan said there is no more play pen rings and this is where professional wrestling is meant to be done. He said there competitor likes to refer to themselves as “sports entertainment”, but he is proud to be aligned with TNA where professional wrestling still lives. Eric Bischoff takes the mic and said he knows no one likes change, but change is what they are all about. He said change starts tonight with this ring and there is a hell of a lot more coming our way. Hogan said there is only one last thing to say, “Whatcha gonna do Vince McMahon, when TNA comes for you!”

- Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show and we are going to kick things off with The Amazing Red defending the TNA X Division Championship against a mystery opponent. Red is out first to a big reaction from the crowd in Orlando. Red’s opponent is…former WWE star The Brian Kendrick.

TNA X Division Championship
The Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick

Brian Kendrick takes the champion Amazing Red down early on. More armbar takedowns by Kendrick on Red. Kendrick with a camel clutch with forearm shots into a crossface. Red with a big snap huracanrana on Kendrick. Kendrick fires back with a big running spear on Red and then sends Red to the outside with a flying kick to the face. Kendrick goes to work on the knee of Red kicking him off his feet and then applying pressure against the ropes. During the match, Tenay and Taz noted on commentary that Bobby Lashley is claiming he will not wrestle tonight and that they hope to have more on that soon. Kendrick goes up top and Red catches him with a big kick to the head. Red then takes out Kendrick with a huge senton dive off the top turnbuckle. Red then follows that up with a missile dropkick on Kendrick in the ring. Kendrick with a single leg boston crab on Red after Red missed a shot from up top. Red with a kick to the head on Kendrick and rolling armbar. Kendrick with a nearfall on Red. Red gets the pinfall on Kendrick with a springboard Code Red.

Winner & STILL TNA X Division Champion: The Amazing Red

- Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff is with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Bischoff said he appreciates the help with Mick Foley, but reminds them that Nash is the only one under contract. Bischoff said Hall and Waltman need to prove themselves. Hall asks Nash for some help tonight. Waltman asks what about him. Hall and Waltman play rock/paper/scissors on who will join Nash tonight. It looks like Waltman won, but I’m pretty sure everyone is still confused on what just happened.

Sean Morley vs. Daniels

Before the match, Morley got on the mic and said tonight he presents his first TNA Films production for the ladies. Daniels walks out and gets on the mic saying TNA is about wrestling and not the goofy stuff Morley is talking about. Daniels tells Brooke Hogan to shut up when she stands up making some noise at him. Daniels said he already has a review for Morley’s first TNA production and it isn’t a thumbs up. Daniels walks in the ring and flips off Morley. The bell rings and they start brawling. Morley with some big knees to the gut on Daniels into a russian leg sweep. Morley with a pump handle slam on Daniels. Daniels fights back dropping Morley head first off the ropes. Daniels focuses on the throat of Morley hitting a few palm strikes and then sending Morley throat first into the top rope. Daniels then chokes Morley’s throat against the top rope using his legs using the three count to his advantage. Daniels with a springboard moonsault on Morley. Morley fights back with some quick offense and then hits the Money Shot off the top rope to get the pinfall.

Winner: Sean Morley

- A video package runs highlighting the events between ODB and Tara.

TNA Knockouts Championship
Best 2 out of 3 Falls
ODB (c) vs. Tara

Both women exchange some big chops early on. Tara with some big kicks to ODB that is followed by a big kick to the back of the head. Tara with a springboard flipping leg drop on ODB that results in a two count. ODB fires back with a big fallaway slam on Tara. Tara with a rollup on ODB that results in a pinfall.

Winner of Fall #1: Tara

ODB goes after Tara right away powering her into the corner and choking her out. Tara gets ODB locked up in a tarantula sumbission against the ropes. ODB then goes on the attack on Tara on the outside. The referee starts the count and ODB rolls back in to break it up. ODB tosses Tara back in the ring and attempts a few pinfall attempts that all result in a two count. ODB then applies a full body submission on Tara. ODB keeps it locked on, twirls around the ring with Tara and gets into another pinfall with Tara finding a way to kick out. ODB started favoring her chest during the match like something was wrong. Tara then hit the Widow’s Peak suddenly and got the pinfall.

Winner of Fall #2: Tara
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara

After the match, we see a few highlights of the match featuring the two falls Tara won in a row. Back live, Tara is celebrating with the TNA Knockouts Championship.

- Backstage, Christy Hemme is with “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero cut a promo telling Desmond Wolfe that he better bring it tonight.

TNA World Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (c’s) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez

We start with Matt Morgan and Brutus Magnus. They lock up and Morgan pushes Magnus away quickly. More quick offense by Morgan on Magnus hitting a big shoulder block. Magnus dodges a chokeslam attempt, kicks Morgan and tags in Doug Williams. Hernandez gets involved and breaks it up. Hernandez gets the legal tag and goes after Williams in the corner. Williams with a running knee to Hernandez, attempts a suplex, Hernandez blocks it, gets Williams up for a vertical suplex, Williams counters off and Hernandez hits a big body splash in the corner. Hernandez takes off his shirt, wraps it around the neck of Williams and tosses him across the ring. Magnus clips Hernandez when Hernandez has Williams up for a powerbomb. Hernandez pulls himself up top, but both Magnus and Williams jump up and take him down in a big superplex. More double teaming by Magnus and Williams on Hernandez with Magnus getting back the tag. Magnus with an abdominal stretch on Hernandez and uses Williams to apply more pressure. Hernandez fights back and Morgan gets the hot tag. Morgan takes out Magnus and Williams quickly. Morgan plants Magnus with a big spinning slam and elbows Williams in the corner. Morgan with a reverse chokeslam on Williams into the corner. Hernandez with a springboard shoulder block on Williams and Morgan takes out Magnus with a clothesline. All four men are down. Morgan with a chokeslam on Williams and Williams somehow kicks out. Magnus boots Morgan in the face allowing Williams to hit a german suplex into a bridge for a close two count. Morgan body splashes Magnus, throws him away and then tosses Williams off the top rope. Hernandez with a Dominator on Magnus and Morgan follows it up with a big running boot to the face for the pinfall.

Winners & NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions: Matt Morgan & Hernandez

After the match, we see highlights leading to the finish. Back live, Morgan and Hernandez are celebrating their win with the tag team gold over their shoulders.

- Backstage, we see Bobby Lashley heading into Hulk Hogan’s office. Abyss is speaking with Eric Bischoff when Lashley pushes him away. Abyss goes crazy and starts attacking Lashley. Abyss then knocks out Lashley and Bischoff said they just ruined their semi-main event. Hulk Hogan walks in and sees what happened. He asks Abyss what he is doing and that this is the last things he needs tonight. Hogan said the match is now off between Abyss and Lashley, but he has other plans for Abyss tonight.

“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe

Wolfe was accompanied to the ring by a woman who removed his ring attire. The bell rings and they immediately lock up. Pope breaks it up with a few shots and kicks to Wolfe’s chest. Pope continues with kicks and trips up Wolfe in the corner. Pope goes up top and misses an elbow shot. Wolfe with a unique snapmare into the ropes on Pope. Wolfe does this a second time against the ropes. Wolfe then gets a boston crab applied on Pope. Wolfe keeps the action grounded by applying side headlocks on Pope or laying over his back applying a headlock. The two exchange a few chest chops and Wolfe gets the better of it taking Pope down. Wolfe gets Pope setup for a Tower of London, but Pope counters and takes Wolfe off his feet with a huge running spear. Pope then hits a quick suplex on Wolfe. Wolfe attempts another boston crab, but Pope counters into a nearfall. Pope with a sitdown powerbomb on Wolfe that results in a close two count. Another close nearfall for Pope. Wolfe then connects with his Lariat and gets the pinfall.

Winner: Desmond Wolfe

- Backstage, Jeremy Borash promotes tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship when Eric Bischoff walks up cutting him off. Bischoff asks Borash what he is doing. Borash said he is doing his job. Bischoff said his job is to do whatever he tells him. He tells Borash that he has been pulled off television until further notice. Ric Flair then shows up and has a staredown with Bischoff. Flair then talks with Christy Hemme and said he goes where the greatest talent in the world goes.

- A video package runs highlighting the events leading into tonight’s tag team match between Beer Money and Kevin Nash & Scott Hall.

The Band (Kevin Nash & Sean Waltman) vs. Beer Money

Sean Waltman will be replacing Scott Hall tonight in tagging with Kevin Nash. The bell rings and we start with James Storm and Sean Waltman. Storm gets in a quick jab on Waltman and hits a few arm drags. Storm with a neckbreaker on Waltman and then tags in Robert Roode. Beer Money double team Waltman. Kevin Nash then gets the tag and goes to work on Storm in the corner. Waltman with a quick snap suplex on Storm into a side headlock. Tag back to Nash who drives his knees into the chest of Storm in the corner. Nash starts choking Storm in the corner and then tags Waltman back in who starts kicking Storm down in the corner as well. Storm with a Bronco Buster on Storm in the corner. Nash prevents a hot tag to Roode and goes back to work on Storm. Roode is able to get the hot tag and starts going after Waltman with a series of shots and a big high back body drop. Roode hits Nash with some big right hands. Beer Money then double team Nash and Waltman and do the “BEER…MONEY” pose. Scott Hall is then seen coming down the ramp distracting Roode and Storm. Hall then pulls a fan over the guard railing and starts beating him up as Waltman runs out to stop it. In the ring, Storm catches Nash with a superkick and Roode rolls up Nash for the pinfall.

Winners: Beer Money

- Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are watching the monitor. Hogan said he is going to call those guys out this Thursday on Impact to settle things once and for all.

- Abyss is on his way out to the Impact Zone awaiting his mystery opponent tonight. The lights go out and when they come back on we see former WWE star Ken “Mr. Kennedy” Anderson making his TNA debut. Anderson gets on the mic and said, “It looks like I crossed the line!” Anderson has a mic drop and introduces himself as “MISSSSSTTTTEEEERRRRR….ANDERSON.”

Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson

The bell rings and Anderson extends his hand to Abyss. Abyss goes to shake his hand and Anderson slaps him. Lots of quick offense by Anderson early on in the match. They then brawl to the outside where Anderson uses the ring to his advantage throwing Abyss up against it. Anderson pulls a steel chair from the crowd and tries to use it, but Abyss counters kicking it away and tossing Anderson back in the ring. Anderson comes back choking Abyss with his boot. Anderson sends Abyss into the corner, gets in a roll up and Abyss quickly kicks out. Abyss favors his left arm when Anderson runs into him with a shoulder block. Anderson takes advantage dropping his weight over the left arm of Abyss. Anderson then works over Abyss’ arm applying more pressure. Abyss eventually fights out and drops Anderson with a big boot. Abyss with a body splash on Anderson in the corner and a big side slam. Abyss attempts a chokeslam, but Anderson breaks it up. Abyss gets Anderson on his shoulders and Anderson jumps off hitting a reverse neckbreaker. Abyss catches Anderson with a chokeslam after he comes flying off the top rope. Abyss has Anderson back up and connects with a big Torture Rack. Abyss with a cover and Anderson kicks out. Abyss leaves the ring and grabs a steel chair. Once inside, Abyss has the chair taken away by the referee. We then see Anderson putting brass knucks on and catching Abyss with a big right hand. Anderson gets rid of the knucks without the referee noticing and gets the pinfall.

Winner: Mr. Anderson

After the match, Anderson gets on the mic and says, “The winner of the match…*shrugs*…*shrugs*…Misterrrrrr…*shrugs…Anderson.” Looks like he was trying to do his best Peter Griffin impression for you Family Guy fans out there.

- A video package runs highlighting tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between champion AJ Styles and challenger Kurt Angle.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle

The stipulation at hand is that if Kurt Angle loses, he will not receive another shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in 2010. Lots of back and forth exchanges early on with Angle getting the better of Styles and Styles getting the better of Angle. Styles and Angle continue more back and forth exchanges on the mat feeling each other out. Angle with a german suplex attempt on Styles who flips back and lands on his feet. They continue at a rapid pace trying to take each other down and get a few nearfalls. Styles catches Angle with a huge dropkick after a series of counters. Styles with a snapmare and kick to the back combo on Angle. Angle attempts a comeback running at Styles, but Styles catches him with a big elbow and Angle falls to the outside. Styles attempts a springboard flip onto Angle, but stops himself and lands on the ring apron. Angle then trips up Styles who crashes on the outside. Back in the ring, Angle takes Styles down and applies a full body bearhug. Styles fights to his feet, but Angle grounds him with a big backbreaker. Angle continues to work on Styles in the corner.

Styles fights back with a few chops and then both collide in the middle of the ring. Both Styles and Angle are down. We then see Ric Flair walking down the ramp and getting closer to the ring. Flair stands at ringside and looks on as Angle and Styles start going at it again. Styles tosses Angle out of the ring, hits the ropes and hits a big flipping dive to take out Angle at ringside. Angle limps back into the ring and Styles connects with a backbreaker. Styles with a springboard clothesline on Angle that results in a two count. Angle counters a Styles Clash attempt, hits a german suplex, hits a second and then hits a third with a release. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt, but Angle comes back hitting a fourth release german suplex. Styles catches Angle with a big Pele Kick, covers and gets a close two count. Angle then drives Styles into the corner and hits a few shoulder charges. Angle connects with a big clothesline on Styles in the corner, covers and Styles kicks out.

Styles with a snap huracanrana off the top rope on Angle. Styles with a springboard 450 splash, but Angle moves out of the way and connects with the Angle Slam. Angle covers and Styles kicks out. Angle can’t believe it. Angle with a moonsault attempt and Styles moves out of the way. Styles attempts a Styles Clash, but Angle counters into an Ankle Lock. Styles counters out flipping to his back and kicking Angle away. Styles with a springboard body splash, cover and Angle kicks out. Styles attempts another snap huracanrana from the top rope, but Angle counters and hits the Styles Clash on Styles! Styles kicks out. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt into a big spike DDT. Angle misses a charge in the corner and Styles hits an Angle Slam on Angle. Styles covers Angle and Angle kicks out. Styles argues that it was three with the referee. Styles then goes up top, Angle sits up quickly and hits an Angle Slam off the top rope. Angle covers and Styles still finds a way to kick out. Angle with an Ankle Lock on Styles. Styles turns to his back to kick Angle away, but Angle holds on and keeps the Ankle Lock applied. Angle then falls to the mat to apply more pressure. Styles is about to tap out when Ric Flair pulls the referee out. Styles starts tapping, but there is no referee. Angle sees what Flair did and starts going after him. Angle chases Flair around the ring, inside the ring, Flair bails to the ramp and Styles takes out Angle with a clothesline. Flair tosses Styles the TNA World Title and Styles knocks out Angle with it. Styles tosses the belt away, Flair tosses the referee back inside and the referee counts the pinfall.

Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles

After the match, Ric Flair gets in the ring, hands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship to AJ Styles and raises his arm in the air. Styles starts celebrating with Flair. Flair and Styles take turns letting out a few WOOOOOOOO’s. We then see highlights of the match leading to the finish involving the interference from Flair.